Fast forward to 2011: the adventure had long since died. In its place were a whole string of arbitraries, nagging questions about apparent wrongnesses with no answers in sight, endless “events” and cutthroat regging. For years I had known that something was terribly wrong but it was only on New Year’s Day 2012 that I finally saw the light, thanks to Debbie Cook’s email.In my years with the C of S, I did a short stint in the S.O. until I was thrown out, did some training and got up to Solo NOTs on the auditing side of the bridge. In the past dozen or so years I experienced many health issues which I attribute to Reverse Scientology, courtesy of the Flag Service Org; however, recently I was lucky enough to treat with an alternative health care practitioner who helped me restore my health.There have been many fine writeups on this blog and elsewhere from other former C of S members detailing the abuses and off policy actions – Luis Garcia’s comes to mind as a great one – so I am not going to attempt to reinvent that wheel; I will just enumerate a few lowlights of my S.O. career and my experience as a Flag Solo NOTs public.In my mercifully short S.O. career (1988-1989):I was human trafficked to another country (and got out of there after four months by hatching an escape plan);
I had become engaged to a S.O. member who was posted at the Int Base, and when Church management got wind of that, they immediately intervened and the engagement was broken off. This was typical 3rd Party – I was told negative things about my fiancé and he was told negative things about me.
At one point I requested a Comm Ev to correct some things that I perceived as injustices. However, when the Comm Ev met, it somehow morphed into a disciplinary Comm Ev, accusing me of things that I had written up in a previous amnesty (which, per policy, is ancient history and not actionable).
A few of my experiences as a Flag public on Solo NOTs:
The incessant sec-checking of Solo NOTs public has been discussed at length on this blog and other sites. You had to be sec checked coming and going, literally: upon arrival and when leaving. It created a paranoia and was a terrific way to use up auditing hours on account. You always had to have a “pledge intensive” in place, i.e. an extra intensive of auditing paid for and ready to be used at any time.
In late 1993 or early 1994, when I had been auditing on Solo NOTs for a couple of years, I reached a point where I believed I had completed the level, so I made a trip to Flag to verify this. When I got to Flag, I was not even put on a meter to check anything. I was simply told that I had not audited as many hours as LRH had audited on Solo NOTs, so therefore I couldn’t possibly be complete on the level but needed to continue auditing. Fortunately, I soon ran out of money and “fell off” the level in December 1994, never to return.
Interesting note: in approximately 1999 or 2000, a Flag staff member told me that there were over a thousand public who were mid-Solo NOTs but off the level.
Now I’m looking forward to joining the party!
Simi Valley
#356 on the Indie 500 List
Moving On Up a Little Higher 
It used to be fun when I got in too. It was such a theta atmosphere that no one wanted to leave – even after the church had closed. We used to sit out front for hours after closing time because everyone was too keyed out to go home or leave the party.
My biggest complaint was that they always got me so keyed out and I couldn’t sleep and then I would have to go to work and then I would get off work and be sooo tired and then go to the mission and get keyed out again and be up all night again.
But I was happy. And I felt I could trust those on staff. And I didn’t feel watched. Didn’t feel like “ethics bait”. And I couldn’t wait to go back again!
THAT’S SCIENTOLOGY.
Good for you, Simi! Is that your real name?
Short, sweet, and on point.
Thank-you and welcome Simi!
Vic K.
Simi, a welcome from Greece. Been in the SO for 9 years. Saw what we all saw and left. Now it’s a new Time a new Space. Thanks for joining us.
Hey!
You’re having quite a coming out party here, Chica! Good to see your partial story here. You know I am proud of you. So glad we are not separated by the wall of not disconnection any longer. LOL!
Simi didn’t tell the story by half. She went through hell. I witnessed most of it, tried to help where I could, but she is one tough cookie, a New Yawker so you know she has a pair. Which is more than can be said for cob.
Debbie Cook’s email = another one out and free.
Hello Simi. I remember the fun too. Seems like forever ago when the Org was somewhere to hang out and the people were really friendly.
Best of luck to you.
Hi Simi! I remember you from Flag. Good for you for getting yourself well! I wish you great happiness!!
Great write-up, Simi!
I agree about the fun. I was a kid when my mother found scientology and I would go with her and it was just – fun. Even Flag. I remember being with her when she was there for (I think) OT4 or 5 and I would hang out waiting for her and we would play cards and laugh and someone had guitar and he would play songs. It was wonderful.
Well done on your pro survival move…
And just in time, too….because it seems DM has been doing such a wonderful job with handling PR matters and making sure tech is in that Hollywood has made a movie about the church. Well, not really, but, yes it has.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/07/tom-cruise-joaquin-phoenix-scientology-movie-master
Tom objects, of course, but I am sure DM has convinced him that they are all “a’gin him” because he is DM, and of course, DM was LRH’s hand picked successor…..(ha!)
Look for some real fireworks over this flick….The huge PR mess DM has created will now go into meltdown when this movie is positioned in the media as being based on the C of S.
My only advice to the movie maker was you should have worked a part in there for Jason Beghe.
Hello Simi!….I remember you well from the Pac Base. Still digging that smile……your a cute one.
Thanks for the write-up and welcome out.
Congratulations Simi ! Thank you for your story.
My wish is for you to get your OT 7 Standardly attested and in excellent order, with all the Flag crap eliminated & as-ised. Θ
_
Welcome Simi I can totally relate to what you went through from the origination of being done to health issues. In looking back at all of this you would have thought perhaps one, just one staff member would have said hold it something is so wrong here. Maybe someone did and is currently on the RPF , I don’t know. I know I’m glad I’m out and very happy you are out. Congratulations and have a beautiful life!
Simi,
My reality on Scientology is (was) that if it wasn’t electrifying, it wasn’t Scientology. Fun was also a big component.
Great video pick! Sorry, I’m promoting the Seal / Macy Gray V.I.P. tour. Hope you don’t mind if I amp it up.
This from the Archives of ESMB. It seems to be correct and
agrees with other sources.
———————-
Exclamation MICHEL – CANCER AND SUICIDE ON SOLO NOTS
Hello! This thread is to answer Tommy Davis’s glibness.
I met Tommy during my second EPF in the Sea Org (actually a 2 months Boot Camp type of EPF), he was eating beans and rice every day, washing our clothes, doing the worst MEST work you can imagine, doing pumps up for hours…because he fucked up a “VIP” cycle.
At that time he wasn’t so proud to be a Sea Org Member, I can tell you.
Now, let’s talk about cancer and suicide on Solo Nots. Here are some data for you guys.
There is a tag status for each Solo Nots auditor:
Green tag: audit 4 to 6 sessions daily and comes on time for his 6 months check.
Grey tag: audit less than 4 sessions daily and doesn’t come on time for his 6 month check.
Orange tag: Not allowed to solo audit because of out ethics situation.
Purple tag: Not allowed to audit because of illness or sickness.
Black tag: Disaffected with the church.
See the way it works? One starts the level with a Green tag then, depending on his “ability to be Cause over Life” one keeps his Green tag or, follow the dwindling spiral to Black tag.
There are about 5,300 Solo Nots Auditors worldwide and about(depending on their current status):
1,000 Green tags
1,100 Grey tags
900 Orange tags
800 Purple tags
1,500 Black tags
The 10,000 on Solo Nots is just a dream. There is only 1,000 of them auditing regularly.
I was Solo Nots D of P Europe and i personally met the following Solo Nots Auditors. They were all with advanced cancer:
• Roberto B. – Italy
• Antonella B. – Italy
• Beppe G. – Italy
• Sonia B. – Italy
• Pierluigi G. – Italy
• Bernard C. – Switzerland
• Jo R. – Switzerland
• Tasa D. – France
• Helene M. – France
There is more, but I do not remember their names.
Before I blew the Sea Org in November 2006,two of them died of committed suicide; Jo R. and Beppe G.
I don’t know if the other ones are still alive.
The majority of the 800 Purple tags and 1,500 Black tags are with cancer, HIV, diabetes and non optimum physical conditions.
The majority of the 900 Orange tags committed financial irregularities to be able to “pay for services and/or donations” to the Cult.
Rex Fowler is a typical Orange tag product of the Cult.
You all know the PTS/SP tech “theory”, right?
How many of them had to disconnect from their family and friends because they where the ”SP”?
Why, after an entire bridge people are still sick, ill, criminal, commit suicide, etc..?
Maybe they didn’t find the real SP yet….. or, if they did, they invalidated the read.
At one point every body on Solo Nots had to do or re do the PTS/SP Course GAT.
And the SNR C/S FSO Richard Reiss (pushed by RTC, of course) was constantly harrassing the Solo Nots C/S “because they didn’t apply the PTS tech at 100%” during their C/Sing.
Well, a cancerous tumor is not detectable by a SN C/S as far as i know!
I can attest! Beppe G. had a cancerous tumor the size of an egg in his brain while at Flag to “Attest to OT7”! I went with him to the Clearwater Hospital. He was sent back to Italy right away by RTC….
Imagine the Flap if Beppe died in the middle of the Solo Nots HGC!
These data should be widely disseminated. It’ s not a joke. These guys are really in danger.
Michel.
PS: the medical associations should be aware of this data. Scientology technology doesn’t cure cancer….when a cancer isn’t detected on time, it’s too late. Unfortunalely, from a Scientologist view point, a doctor is considered a charlatan.
I should have also commented that there has been no reported similar problems at all re doing solo NOTs in the independent/FZ area. I have very wide comm lines, and have heard nothing!
No reason to be PTS in the independent/FZ.
So happy you got free.
Simi, really great to have you aboard, A big welcome to you.
Things will never be quite the same again, sans LRH, but
at least we are back in a group with the same ethos, and
that is in no small part due to the willingness of this group
to recreate the fun times and something NEW altogether:
An Openness. A willingness to explore life and other real
avenues of awareness and liberation, now made possible
through the internet, and therefore complete freedom of
choice, NOT even possible during the LRH era. And the
biggest win of these times ? Exactly what you see in front
of you! Complete freedom to COMMUNICATE! (OR NOT!)
Enjoy the ride on your new journey with the Indies!
Calvin B. Duffield
Durban South Africa
Declaration;Mothers Day 12/13 May 2012
Indie list # 301
Yes, Debbie Cook’s letter is still cookin’-!
Think of the amends we’d have to do nowadays for that awful laughter in the HGC while playing cards! A travesty, you know!
Congratulations Simi on carrying out your own “Project Prepare” for leaving the church. LOL
Yeah Simi! Welcome to the party!
Yes! Another one finding the way out. Great job and welcome, Simi.
Welcome Simi, leave long and prosper now that you can really go up the Bridge.
Simi,
You are correct. It was fun in New York City in the 1970’s. I was at
the 5th Avenue mission from 1974 until 1978.
We had a few problems, but on balance it was a great, quiet
learning environment.
May all beings be well and happy!
George M. White
Very nice Simi. Very.
🙂
Really great to see a New Yorker popping up! I know the twists and turns the Orgs have taken and one can measure the outpoints and decline against PURPOSE.
WHAT is the PURPOSE of a Church?
To TRANSLATE. In the beginning people could not read or readily obtain books. A Church was a meet up place where somebody who COULD read or did have a book, would read and translate the information to others or explain it, to pass forward knowledge.
We live in times where most people can read for themselves.
The purposes of a Church have expanded to include community help and assistance. Well, these are sub purposes.
When I came into Scientology in the 70’s the effort was along the lines of translating the knowledge and making sure people could use it. And that was it. That was a healthy Church that was on purpose for a Church.
You look at the main purposes of the Church of Scientology today and you see something wholly different.
A. Taxation
B. Government
C. Corporate structure
D. Policing members
E. Media control
F. Celebrity Promotion
G. Punishment and re education
H. Slave management
I. Government control and lobbyists
J. Population control
K. Stalking and silencing critics
L. Real estate investments
M. Property management
N. Television stations and broadcasting
O. Printing and mailing
P. Plants and espionage
Q. Payouts for silence
R. Torture and imprisonment
S. Surveillance and spying
T. Classification of members and status’
U. Circus type events
V. Celebrity Managment
W. Scripture editing at whim and book royalties
X. Construction and renovation
Y. Establishing patrons
Z. Well, you get the point.
Like Betty Crocker.
Yo!
If that is happening now, and you score us tickets, we’re there.
Welcome out Simi, love your name!
Thanks, and yes.
Thanks, everyone, for the good wishes! It’s great to be here!
Welcome Simi Valley !
Simi says ::::
I had become engaged to a S.O. member who was posted at the Int Base, and when Church management got wind of that, they immediately intervened and the engagement was broken off. This was typical 3rd Party – I was told negative things about my fiancé and he was told negative things about me.
The urge to destroy family, relationships, ability to have children or have a nucleus family is unsurpassed in the “Church” of Scientology.
+++++++++
Someone was telling me a story the other day that proves the point. A girl called Maria XXXX left the Sea Organization some years back. She told one and all that it was the ultimate in insanity in the SO. It was brutal, it was torture, it was insane…..
But like a good Kool aid drinker she stayed with the Church.
She exited the Sea Org with 2 kids. The Sea Org would not let her husband Drew XXXX leave. He was useful to them on money making lines. They did not care that she was a single mom with all the bills of 2 kids, they kept him there refusing to let him out of the Sea Org for some 2 years or more.
But like a good Kool aid drinker she stayed with the Church.
Scroll forward in time, one of these kids Dennis XXXXX now adult has a child. The child at 2 years old dies in his crib. Just like that.
And what does Maria and Drew do ?
They ask for donations for Ideal orgs for the Death of their 2 year old grandchild.
That’s right, dig into your wallet and give the “Church” more money because our 2 year old died.
True Story.
Congrats Simi !!! Welcome to the Force ! 🙂
Darth Midget lost another fine being… poor little bastard. The dark side will never, cannot win in the end.
Thanks, Karen, and thanks for the friend add on fb! (I couldn’t see where to post on your wall.)
I don’t know what color tag I was at FSO, but it’s all about the almighty dollar. Program everyone for more auditing so they’ll need more intensives of sec checking and more 6-month C/S’ing (not to mention all the accommo’s on base if you don’t have a condo or apartment in or near CW); or else program everyone down the Bridge: You’re not clear so you have to redo ____________, your objectives are unflat so you have to redo them, blah blah.
Very nice to meet you Simi. Glad you got out of there.
As I wrap/complete OT1 now, I realize just how badly the COB of Cof$ abhors the idea of OTs. I see it in the interactions of OTs who liken themselves to his hindass’ likeness. I truly understand the depth of the responsibilities of OTs and how that’s been twisted into something vile – if you want to stay in Cof$ that is.
Yes, you did damn good leaving your “case” alone after such an arbitrary as that! Glad you’re here!
All about the almighty dollar but ALSO the covert intention to destroy.
That’s disgusting and SICK. Wow.
Me too, thanks!
Simi, I was on VII twice and didn’t get to finish either. The second time took its toll on my body. Auditing over out tech and stress isn’t good. So know its not just you. Many public look a tad run down. Let’s really take care of ourselves so we can be stronger and more able. I watch and listen.
Terril Parks: Did you ask the original author (whose proper name you have omitted) for permission to repost that here on Marty’s Blog ?
That content does not belong to *you* and you have no right to repost without permission. Of course, that has never stopped you in the past, has it ?
Michael A. Hobson
Independent Scientologist
Outstanding Simi, welcome out and to independence!
Great music, Love the Steve Miller Band version, partied to it a lot in the late 60’s – early 70’s. Still a lot of vision power in that music.
I heard you. Horrifying. My love to you Karen…keep up the good fight.
Welcome Simi. I can tell you that the FUN is back in the Indie filed!!! i am having so much fun again and you will too.
Well done Simi.
Ain’t so bad here on the “dark side,” after all.
Anyone who has devoted five years of their life to the Church should come out an OT8. In the early days if you dedicated five years of your life to the Church you popped out a Briefing Course grad and an OT7.
You see people hitting the streets that put in 35 years , 25 years, 20 years, and they are not OT or even clear with no training whatsoever.
This is a measurement of how OFF PURPOSE the Church is and how OFF PURPOSE the members are pushed.
Sorry about the loss of your 2D to corporate HCO’s specialty – 3rd party. I know exactly how that goes. I know exactly how that feels. I also know how to Flourish and Prosper and I am doing so, and I hope that you continue to do so, as well.
ARC – Scott Gordon
Welcome Simi!!
I too had horror stories from being On Solo Nots at the “Mecca of technical perfection”.
I am glad you made it out alive and apparently pretty happy!!
Flourish and prosper!
Tony
Simi, I really loved hearing your story and the way you wrote it up nice and to the point. Congratulations, on becoming open and free! 🙂
de
Hello Simi! Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome:-)!
Love, Anat
Wow! The A to Z of a church, especially Scientology Inc.
If you are looking for enlightenment, this is not where you must go. It’s better to take a stroll in the park.
Hi Simi – I know you from Pac Base – great on seeing the light and stepping out into it…
Hey ! Terril, remember us talking when we were taking mad McGuire
for a ride past Heathrow many, many moons ago ? I was happy to allow your point of view then even though I could only half see it myself. I fully se it now. Get in touch; oneshot@safemail.net.
These people on Solo NOTs in the ‘church’ are trying to cope with the constantly present problems of : how do I get the money for the next 6 months check ? how do I get done many sessions per day ? how do I get the spare time for the 6 months check ? what do I do if the 6 month check extends much longer than expected ? how do I get my dissemination and ot comittee assignments done – if I don’t I will get into ethicks ? etc.
A very toxic situation for someone who wants to make spiritul gain !
Nice write up and brought back many memories. Welcome and all the Very best Simi !
Would that be the Robbs? I knew Drew, and Maria when she joined the SO in around 86/87. She was just the nicest girl you could hope to meet. Polish, I think. Shocking what they have become after a long spell in DM’s mausoleum.
Which reminds me – Ailon Barram as referenced in Tony O’s write-up interview with JB is Hanny and Mickey’s boy. Hanny and Mickey are OT VIIIs in the EG field. Hanny for a long time in the late 80s together with Mandy Kember (trapped in the HGB building) was my star auditor in the SHF HGC, a real nice lovely lady. Ailon was also just the sweetest kid, playful, funny but quite shy too. To know he is executing DM’s orders at Int makes my blood run cold. Miscavige’s ability to turn theta into entheta seems to know no bounds.
Thanks for sharing your experience Simi. And thank you for reminding us of the original, basic FUN that is an inherent part of our Scientology. You reminded me of the last truly fun New Years Eve event at Dallas org. The broadcast was mercifully short, then all of us, public and staff, partied like pagans, danced and reveled until way too late into the morning!
Scientology is wall-to-wall pleasure moments or it ain’t Scientology!
David Miscavige has been cursed by the Gods. He too is afflicted with a complication. A bone degenerative disease. He has gone quite mad as it has hit his brain in it’s early stages. He will be gone with in four to six years. Jenny Linson will host his international eulogy and explain how he has moved on to invest in real estate and establish beggar units on other planets.
Simi,
I have a very similar time line to you. I got on lines in ’78 and would always describe my experience as fun until around ’92. By ’94 I was off lines and I haven’t been back. It’s amazing how things have deteriorated.
Welcome to the party!
I just wanted to de-lurk and say thank-you for this post. I’ve never actually been a Scientologist but always felt like kind of a friendly neighbor when I lived down the block from the old org on S Street in Washington DC, back in the 70s and early 80s. What I saw from the outside jibes with what Simi and some commenters are saying: there was a sense of energy and excitement around the building, whose door was often wide open with a little crowd of people gathered on the steps outside. I ventured inside a couple of times — old GF was on staff there — and again, the vibe was never anything but friendly, no pressure even to buy a book.
I was on my own spiritual path at the time, related to the TM movement (whose local center was around the block on T Street), and I felt like I could relate in definite ways.
Anyhow, I wonder sometimes, reading threads like this, whether a component of the Indie scene might be this yearning to recapture the spirit of an era that has vanished like Brigadoon in the mist. I certainly feel some of that myself.
Here’s a personal hypothesis: What was magical about places like S Street wasn’t necessarily Scientology, per se. (I mean this was the era when the Guardians, including my old GF, were sneaking into government buildings at night.) What was magical was YOU: bright and warm and energized young people who had found a new kind of freedom, a whole new reality.
And it WAS real. (That’s part 2 of my hypothesis.) This wasn’t make-believe or group hypnosis or, as they say in TM, “mood-making.” We had touched, in our different ways, upon SOMETHING. It was important and it was huge. But also, curiously, fragile.
I guess this makes me some kind of universalist. But really, I do identify with so much of what gets talked about here, and I definitely share some of your anger at DM for fucking the whole thing up so grotesquely.
Thanks for letting me chime in. I should probably write a novel about this.
welcome simi,……
baci from italy….
Mille grazie!
Hello Richard! Thanks for chiming in. You’ve still got that sense of wonder, the sprite, the light, the source mate. It fairly sparkles in your comment.
I was fascinated with your comment, Richard, because, as I understand, you are not a Scientologist. You sensed the different something about Scientologists at the time and the new reality and your girlfriend was on staff. Wonderful, but I couldn’t help noticing that despite all the understanding, wonder and excitement you never experienced Scientology technology in action as applied to you personally. I wonder why that was. Could it be that there was no pressure and nobody tried to sell you a book or were there other reasons?
Hi Simi! What a great and pleasant surprise! Welcome to the free world where Scientology is not a mental prison that shuts off 7 billion other people out of your dynamics but simply a means to achieving states of higher spiritual awareness and abilities! All the best!
Mike:
The author of this post on ESMB says, in his post (see the end of the post that Terril copied to this blog)
“These data should be widely disseminated. It’ s not a joke. These guys are really in danger.
Michel.”
I think its pretty clear that Michel wanted this data to be disseminated.
Karen #1, any excuse will be used and thrown in ones face for contributions. This one is pretty sick alright!
VWD Tara 🙂 (On OT I).
Ain’t that the truth!
Wonderful Simi. I recognize your brilliant smile.
Jim and Michael, thanks for your responses.
Michael, I think it’s just that, as I mentioned, I was on my own spiritual path at the time and was quite happy with that. (Indeed I’ve never had second thoughts about it and still practice the TM-Sidhi program, though not as consistently as I might.) So I guess my point is not about Scientology itself, but rather the vibe I sensed around this particular org, and my interactions with the folks hanging out there, both of which were quite positive.
I did get a little freaked out when my ex-girlfriend — we’d actually split up as a couple some time before — tried forcefully to convince me to join up, over what I’d hoped would be a romantic Italian dinner one evening. That was the closest to a recruiting pitch I ever got, and it didn’t go down well, but the reasons for that were mostly personal and emotional, I think.
Thank you Jim. Fucking awesome, I must say! 😀
Thank you, Richard, I understand.
Hi Simi, maxamimi just like a houdini, screamin me-me from your old pal Danny Doowah Diddy diddy dum diddy do!
Welcome to the party, Simi. Nice to have you with us.
Hey Simi,
Wonderful news to read that you’re out.
Congratulations! Enjoy the smell of freedom.
Love from your old friends, Dave and Jenni (in Sydney)
Wow and welcome. 1,000 Solol NOTs auditors off the level. That confirms the several I’ve met who can’t finish because they are told never seem to make enough money. Glad you’re out of there.
Hey Misha, always great to see your comm around here!
Richard’s response, if any, sure will be interesting,IMO.
I have been wondering, how is the book progressing?
Calvin.
Hi Mad C. Your mail dosn’t seem to work. Try me at
basic2basic@yahoo.com
Hey Simi! Great to see you here. We’ve been ’round the same insanity block many times when at Flag together. I remember all the difficulties you had. (as did I) Fortunately, you got away a lot earlier than I did and, I take it, thankfully did NOT do the Golden Age of Torture. (arrggghhh and double gag me with a spoon). Do well in your new life!
Sherry Many-Katz
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Hi Simi Vy.,I remember how to choose your people I bought one from Asho in 77 and I loved reading it. I join the S.O. in 1977 and stayed until 82. I went back home to Simi cause I did not like the living conditions at the Hollywood Inn. I no longer live in Simi Vy. and I’m no longer a scientologist but I’m so much wiser now and see through cons and lies that Hubbard had to give but good people some times fall short and may they to see the light and truth ( for the truth shall set you free) and Hubbard did not write that first.
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