Ripple In Still Water

We have been pretty much closed to folk visiting Casablanca over the past few months while I wrapped up Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior.  Now that the book is done and available I am scheduling people again for consultation.

I am in progress on the follow up book to Memoirs which will spell out in some detail how it is that I believe certain principles codified by L. Ron Hubbard can be sensibly practiced; that is, how they can be integrated, how they can evolve, and how people can learn from that to transcend.  One of the purposes of Memoirs was to set the factual foundation for that presentation.  It is difficult to communicate to closed minds that are implanted and conditioned to not dare think along those lines.  I have been labeled by some Scientologists as being like a ‘Nazi War Criminal’, ‘Gestapo’, and worse for attempting to have that conversation.  The reasons for such a reaction are pretty well spelled out in Memoirs.  Rather than waste time attempting to debate with such a mindset, I decided it made more sense for me to spell out the facts that led me to consider that people need to graduate from that frame of mind in order to get anywhere meaningful.  Hopefully Memoirs will help to accomplish that.  Certainly, the follow up book will be all about how to do that.

I am no longer wasting time with the necessarily interminable argumentation on what constitutes ‘standard technology’, ‘standard admin’, and such . You might come to understand through Memoirs how it is that Scientology is hardwired to create that perpetual state of conflict and how it will continue to manifest  down through the ages (to no possible substantive conclusions) if anyone in the future continues to find that activity worthwhile.  In either event, I don’t find that rancorous debate productive.  Most of the people who want to argue (or disconnect) on that subject don’t have much of a production record anyway, so it is like fighting with a gossamer of theory based on a patchwork of quotations.

Based on my several years of Scientology training/practice and based on my several more years of outside-of-Scientology study and practice, I deal with people one on one to try to help them move on up a little higher.   My view is that certain Hubbard principles integrated into and used in such wise brings about lasting results. Conversely,  robotically-applied, wholesale reliance on those principles leads to capture, captivity and ultimately to anguish. Those principles that don’t lead one any higher, or worse lead him or her lower, don’t figure into a program seeking transcendence from frightened, delusory states.  Incidentally, I am convinced that such principles won’t become any more popular either, no matter how much marketing, commanding and fighting one wants to apply to them.

I suggest I can help with a) repair Reverse-Scientology application people may have experienced, b)  repair/rehab any grade or level that might be incomplete or ‘out’, c) put one’s Scientology experience into perspective from which growth is possible,  d) graduate people from the cult and any lingering cult think, or fixation with the cult experience people might be walking around with, e) guide people toward a meaningful transcendence from their Scientology-inflicted obsessions, and f) help OTs transcend the captive, glass ceiling dimension they’ve been led into.

By popular consensus among independent Scientologists, communicated in various ways, the core ideas I propose and what I do cannot be accepted under the title ‘Scientology.’  I accept that.  So, there is no more reason to discuss the chapter of trying to win folk over to my ideas to the contrary.  It is history.

I do not go by any labels and I am not a member of, nor am I affiliated with, any groups.

So as to avoid any conflict or possibility for misunderstanding, I ask anyone interested in my services to first read Memoirs and What Is Wrong With Scientology?   That will give you a good sense of my philosophy about the subject of Scientology and those subjects it overlaps with.  A number of people have told me that by simply reading and thinking with either or both of those books helped them to resolve that which they would have come to me for help to remedy.  So, you might save yourself time and cheddar by simply reading what I have already had to say.  On the other side of the spectrum, I want people to know what I am about in advance so that we don’t waste your time or mine scheduling you for an activity that will offend you by conflicting with your religious beliefs.


123 responses to “Ripple In Still Water

  1. Thank you

  2. one of those who see

    Love the song. Love your upfront communication. Reading Memoirs now – really great to meet you. That’s how I feel. Finished chapters 1 and 2. Excellent.

  3. I am glad you have found your own way. It takes a long time but the certainty you gain in the process of working out what is true for you is unshakeable.

    I have found that those who would presume to tell us how we should audit have very low stats when it comes to delivering services and do not have pcs who disseminate for them.

    Contrary to what has been taught for years, satisfied preclears DO DISSEMINATE. We outside the church know this as word of mouth advertising and it is the best kind. 🙂

    Good luck with your practice!

  4. Marty, not to encourage you to change course, or to pin an unwanted label on you, but the best definition I know for a Scientologist is LRH’s own – “One who uses Scientology to better conditions for oneself, and to better conditions for others”. By that standard, you are a stellar example of a Scientologist.

  5. martyrathbun09

    I’ve been called worse, mainly by those calling themselves ‘Scientologists.’

  6. one of those who see


  7. I don’t know, or care, whether you are a Sientologist. You have been BRAVELY working your way out of a long dark tunnel. Best wishes on going forward.

  8. Correction: Make that “Scientologist”

  9. MARTY
    “I am no longer wasting time with the necessarily interminable argumentation on what constitutes ‘standard technology’, ‘standard admin’, and such”


    Lets leave it thus:

    ” Cry Freedom”.

  10. Being condemned by ignorant minds that were once compadres is in truth a graduation party

    Each vile remark a gold stamp of approval on your graduation certificate.

    Being rejected by limited minds is their way of saying, “you are not limited anymore! We don’t want you in our limited thought club!

    Take a bow, thank them for the recognition and have a beer!


  11. I for one don’t forget that you, Marty, didn’t need to go public, but you did!

    I’m very much enjoying your book Marty, I love pick up basketball, you show your character a lot to those of us, who know basketball, can see how you made your steps to get in the game.

    On basketball alone, I got a lot of respect for you Marty!

    This is just a randon thankyou to you for being public, doing all the media you’ve done, and doing your books!

    We forget in Scientology history, how unique it is, that senior ex leaders continue to be public.

    This is, in all cases, a new era, of so many ex senior leaders, free to speak, and their views shared publicly.

    Thanks very much!

  12. I am not done reading “memoirs or everything on the recommended reading list but intend to do so before I decide what is best for me and my family.But so far ,you are to me a true scientologist and you have laid out what I have always been looking for in the subject and not a travesty of freedom of being .

  13. I remember , shortly after the fall out with the independants , not really knowing what was going on , I opened the independent page on the net , and the solidity jumped at me out of nowhere or nothing in particular , It was so strikingly similar to the solidity I experienced in the church I closed the page and thought “here we go again” .Since then I just kept reading my books to try to make sense of it all and not lose hope.

  14. That’s a great clarification.

    I don’t care if you call yourself a Scientologist or not.

    Whether you use Scientology or Martyology if it helps people then I think it’s great.
    The proof is in the pudding.

    I have always thought that there were many roads to self improvement. I myself got a lot out of much of what LRH delineated. I would like to see people keep that route open. I also think there are areas that can be expanded on. I don’t think LRH found the “route out” but he did find a way to make people much better in many cases.

    Just because a person has studied Scientology does not mean that they cannot expand on LRH’s idea in any way they wish.

    I think tolerance in both directions makes sense.

    I can be tolerant to “fundamentalists” unless they get into suppressive ideas such as robotic disconnection and punishment and I can be tolerant of people such as freezoners who feel they are using tech based on LRH but created by Capt. Bill. It doesn’t mean that I agree with it all but I can allow people to practice spirituality as they see fit. In the new world of improving outside of the cult it means the person wanting help has to take more responsibility to understand the philosophy of the person who intends to help them, Your suggestion for people to read your two books seems like a great idea.

    I wish you all the best.

  15. Hey,,Marty..,,what happened to the other blog, the one about resist/become etc….if you took it down I don’t blame ya a bit…in fact good move…doing so is a little tech savvy display all in it self. Reading the comments I was reminded that the only full on enemy(of life) I recall LRH writing about was stupidity.
    If I am correct and you did take it down ( I am new to blogs and a computer chump) I guess this blog here is a danger cond. applied.

  16. Marty,
    I just finished reading your book. Thank you for telling the truth.

    Whatever debt you might have incurred by being part of that lunacy, you have paid it ten times over.

    You certainly have done so with me.


  17. Marty is himself. Wasn’t that the goal of scientology clearing all along?

    Thanks for being yourself, Marty!

  18. Blaz … Never fear … The “Dichtomies” article is still on the blog … Marty just wrote a new article.

    Just scroll down and on the right hand side below the small calendar you’ll see “recent posts” and you’ll see “Dichotomies”

    Welcome to Marty’s blog – where nothing stays the same …


  19. Marty – I’m delighted that you will once again be offering counseling to those who ask for your help – I’ve suggested to several of my friends that they contact you.

    While I am happy continuing my path as a buddhist, my friends aren’t likely to go that route and yet … like all of us, could use help to clear out cobwebs, confusions and conflicting emotions.

    So glad to know you are there for those honest and courageous enough to ask for help. As we know, that is where the real courage lies …


  20. windhorse
    I see, says the blind man. Tku

  21. Yes, thanks Marty. A ripple is better than stagnant foul smelling
    Personally I got more out of Scientology than I ever could have
    dreamed of but for one main thing which was why I initially came
    into the church and that was a 4th to 6th dynamics’ ruin. Now it
    looks like the church has totally shut their doors to any resolution
    of what ails mankind and life on this beautiful planet. For a long
    time I did really believe we could do it but, but but… We all know
    to some degree what happened. What will the future bring?
    I for one, am excited about your journey and with interest will see
    where you get as you integrate and transcend. Never having been
    a spectator I am still working with groups who are into salvaging
    the environment and of course applying the Tech even if not
    auditing any more.
    Marty, you have helped me tremendously with getting out of a
    bit of a funk since I realized that my dreams as a youth was not
    to come to fruition but I can again through your writing see clearly
    and again have hopes and aspirations for the future. Thanks for
    that! And that is heartfelt.

  22. Exactly. You put into words what I’ve been thinking and just really didn’t push all the way over the edge for myself yet. So it just got pushed. It’s very refreshing, and freeing.

    There’s that big nasty R-word in there too—Responsibility. If it makes you better, it makes your family relations better, your friendships, our great ol’ USA and the planet and all it’s inhabitants….then why the heck not do it? And if it harms those things…duh….don’t do it. That removes all the RCS justifications and even the ones that came earlier. That Brand X is pretty darn harmful.

    The actual real true Scientology technology has always done amazing things for me, and I want it to continue to do so. And I want to see others achieve the same good things too….from simple wins in communication to blown out exteriorizations and personal spiritual experience. I’m glad I am already trained enough in the “old school” and seen it work time and time again to know the difference.

    Thanks, Marty.

  23. Sapere Aude

    Tony – +100. I also believe we all have our own personal thoughts similar to this. If not, we would be at the FSO right now continuing to pay indulgences.

    I will write more. My first thought was this song, one of my favorites:

  24. Right on man. Never would have pegged you for a Dead Head 🙂

  25. Renere Lopez

    When I attested to clear back in 2012 at Casablanca, one thing I knew for sure was, you would always deliver the most amazing sessions to me day in and day out. Your TR’s were impeccable and never robotic, and your acks were never canned. As a product of CB, I have disseminated to many of my friends and family for the first time, and I’ve had several people go out and also receive the same results in and out of session. So thanks again my lifelong friends in Texas…:)

  26. Sapere Aude

    Marty – I can see you have found yourself. That is what the journey has been about for a long long time. Some of us are still working on it. I appreciate your candor, honesty and for what you have done. Your statement of status brought so many thoughts to the fore. It also brought many many songs I think of on this same concept.

    These two songs, are some of the many I keep on my puter. I do believe they express some of this. Thank you for being you.

    and a series I loved had this one:

    Enough for now.

  27. gretchen dewire

    I dont even know if i am in any position right now to get any help, but what Tony said hit a chord. I have been cruising around the internet reading up on independent auditors and they all think they are the best.It is sort of like computer dating . How would you even know where to go? This blog has made more of an impression on me than most. More free thinkers, higher tone etc. It has helped tremendiously to get beyond my bad experience with the church that I thought was all my falt until I met all you guys. Thanks again Grtechen

  28. mimsey borogrove

    Hi Marty. I think your filtering out the workable from the dreck is a laudable exercise. I have long thought that a serious undertaking of sorting through the various Scientology processes and procedures to see what gets gains, what gets marginal gains and what fails is what was needed to come up with a beneficial technology. Had I the deep pockets to do so, I would. I think your investigating other technologies from other fields of thought can be fruitful as well. Good luck on your journey. Best,

  29. I think identification of self with anything, though sometimes unavoidable, is a perilous undertaking because by doing so you’ve placed yourself into whatever inappropriate or inapplicable box others have already constructed for that identity. By doing so, you automatically inherit the burden of proof for your own inherent uniqueness. Why bother?

    “I do not feel that we should set up people as “models”; rather actions, thoughts, principles.” – Noam Chomsky

  30. Bert Schippers

    Nice post Marty!

  31. Marty, really enjoying your latest book (on my Kindle). I was surprised by some parallels in your younger days and mind, though yours were a LOT more extreme. A part time job I had brought me to Napa State Hospital several times and, man, those are strange places. Like you, I found that Scn and auditing in particular was the closest thing to the engagement of sports that I knew of. Hope sales are going well.

  32. I have not read your book, but I have read a number of books regarding Scientology etc. and it seems to me that the beginning steps could be quite useful.

    Are you suggesting that getting into the first stages of Scientology and then leaving, today, might be useful?


  33. “I have found that those who would presume to tell us how we should audit have very low stats when it comes to delivering services and do not have pcs who disseminate for them.”

    I think it’s a little worse than that. Actually, far worse than that. They are out here terrorizing the field and worthy people who are helping and they are blowing people off the bridge with gross and abusive out tech and their form of “ethics”. Every single one of them I have met who are “on a mission to put other people’s ethics in”.

    They make the space unsafe and muddy. Restimulate the 3D case mocked up in the Church. Rip people off, inhibit things which assist survival and assist things (each other) that inhibit survival.

    They are for the most part sociopaths and pathological liars seeking and demanding obedience and the purpose is to DOMINATE and NULLIFY. Underneath the mask of “love for L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology”. No matter the claims of status and education I found they can not think with Scientology. So they do not use it. They only ENFORCE it and use it to harm others. Scientology does not work in the enforce band.

    Two of these “Holy pillars of the Church” “On a mission to put in ethics in” , are currently being investigated for willful tax evasion and fraud. They are Criminon public. Along with David Miscavige.

  34. I really like this post!

  35. Greetings Marty!! Well me working at Gold Music Studio back late 80’s relative to now there were moments of EGO but nothing that little dickys missing witholds left&right and his time & Fed Reserve & IRS & GOVERNMENT DONE !!! 1Luv* Marty TESLA’s TIME IS NOW!!!!

  36. ….me was ‘instant hatted’ by a COB in da control room &………..tell later!!! WEBEFREE!

  37. Good for you Marty!

    Sounds like a sane plan, and your panoramic view of it all, will continue to be a great asset to many.

    Your life has been illustrious and the Red Carpet has always rolled out for you. You have made yourself matter to others and you have made others matter, in a world where people are not supposed to matter.

    You have made the impossible, possible.

    You’ve got the magic in your soul and the high magic at your command.

    You are clearly in favor with the Gods. And very lucky, which Hubbard admits comes from a high volume of theta.

    I’m off to finish my current read so I can get to your latest book which I am very much looking forward to reading.

  38. one of those who see


  39. Conan, I agree. The fact that Tony O. and others want Marty to ‘come clean’ with whatever they think he has done is just a manifestation of their desire to ridicule and to derive a sick pleasure out of hearing about the misdeeds of others.

  40. Just finished reading Memoirs. Thank you for spending the time and energy writing it. It is an important addition to the litany of text written about the subject.

    Regarding labels, using the term Scientologist, for me, has become meaningless. If we must, I prefer Truth-Seeker and Follower, which seems to cover the full spectrum of “Scientologist”. While things are never black and white, those who can read Memoirs, understand it, appreciate it and recognize the value of it, they are likely members of the former. Those who would not consider picking it up, much less reading it, gravitate to the latter.

    Personally, this has been a 30+ year journey/adventure into self-discovery and self-awareness across all dynamics. This blog and your books have become part of that journey. Knowingly or unknowingly, as a “Scnist” we all adopt the warrior beingness to some extent. For me, Memoirs explored that beingness; how it comes about, the effects it creates, the problems associated with it and ultimately its failure. And in doing so helped me end-cycle on it and put my Scn experience into perspective.


  41. I think this is the evolution everyone makes after a while when one looses the false data and starts to look for oneself again. I audited also a lot, lot ours on others and myself. But there were moments when I noticed things did not work out as they should have because of false data on ethics, PTSness or something else etc.
    Outside the system one starts to ask and look: Why did some processes work? What worked at all? What did not work? Is there really no other functioning tech outside Scientology? NO ONE EVER created in the history of mankind processes which help people??? Really?
    Suddenly one also sees a lot functioning technology e.g. in buddhism and elsewhere. I dared to look and observe without invalidating.
    I wondered recently if OT II had this effect it had on me because it is also a big process for concentration like Mantras in Buddhism (before this thought I really had a big, big button on Mantras and prejudice and just could not see that it could help). It works also if one takes other dichotomies like „to see“-„not to see“ etc. It would be great to discuss WHY things work and the similarities in other fields. Such discussions are going on between science and e.g. psychotherapy, buddhism etc. If one puts down the attitude to know already everything because Ron found out already everything and that others are too stupid to bring about working process which help people then one can really start to explore and move on up a little higher. Good exchange on the subject of the mind between different fields one can find here:

  42. Marty,
    I ceased to comment on your blog because it got boring to express my intense agreements with your statements and realisations over and over again.

    Today I make an exception. Frankly I don’t call myself a Scientologist anymore for quite a time. For about the same reasons you don’t, and then some more.

    However, it doesn’t stop me from utilizing proven and helpful technologies from L. Ron Hubbard. And for some reason, they seem to work better than in earlier times – probably because I don’t apply them just out of blind faith. I only apply what would stand my scutiny and what I fully believe in.

    Godspeed to you !

  43. Ironic, isnt it. The #1 enemy of scientology is psychiatry, from my understanding. Now Marty, you are basically a psychologist counseling ex church members how not to think in scientology and how to deal with their years in the church. I heard one ex scientologist say it took him 7 years not to think in scientology. I sincerely hope you can heal these people. Was there anybody in the COS that didnt get brainwashed?

  44. Call it “Martyology” and fuck off. And stay off. That`s okay with me.

  45. Was that the goal of Scientology clearing? If you mean Hubbard’s Scientology clearing, then, no.

    And isn’t that part of the problem?

    And one of the reasons why people cease being Scientologists?

  46. Marty that’s brave and all… not even calling yourself a Scientologist. After all what are labels for if one cannot deliver some products and walk the walk.

    I want to call myself one (still, lol) as I refer people to LRH’s writings. See i haven’t gone over one thing and that one thing is how people start getting out of this mud they think conceived them. That’s not so easy. I failed on that in Greece. My only action was to call some auditors from abroad. It would be ok for many auditors to exist around here and I think one day this will happen in this area, too.

    I have delivered Assists to many non scientologists to a great result. I could even audit book 1 on them, I am no professional auditor but I chose not to as I feel there is much more in Scientology.

    Being an auditor Marty and knowing what you know and always having that state of exteriorisation in mind and focus as you contemplate about in your book, is a big advantage.

    Whether you call yourself a Scientologist or not you have been helping people in the midst of a hurricane of attacks against you and your wife from the church.

    Keep on writing as i see this is what you like to do. And communicating and I think you can give some boost to many things as things are going to change.

    You definitely put your big shoulders onto the wheel by going public Marty. You definitely exposed DM as to the tyrant he was and you were together with some others the main witnesses of his agressions, of which I personally didn’t know while in the Sea Org and even after until you came up with that exposure.

    So do not abandon that power in my humble opinion. There is a lot of people who are out there ready to take some steps against all the injustices done on them and others. The game is not over and I wish to see another three points shot in the basket from you (hopefully not in the last second, lol) so that we all move forward.

    You are a teammate Marty, I consider you as such, allow me to say this. From your book, since you were a little kid from that basketball court, it was a team you were looking for to play good basketball. Sorry, for the evaluation. You are not the “kid” now and “Crazy legs” is gone… It’s us on the terrain. And it doesn’t look like we are winning but we definitely gave it a good shot and a good game it was. What united us as a team, our purpose, was that sense that each one of us knew the game, knew the under the belt hits by the opponent and wanted the game to be free for everyone to have and learn it, too, on planet Earth. I consider your book Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior one of the best and most detailed documentations on areas of Scientology we didn’t know about. And thus this “crazy team” of guys who wanted more freedom and a more fair game still carries on somehow through the Net here and around the globe in a very insouciant way whispering to others that the Tech was Free and to keep it so. As my grandma used to say “blood doesn’t ever turn into water”!

  47. I am no professional auditor but I chose not to (audit Book 1, I meant to say) as I feel there is much more in Scientology.

  48. Wendy Munro

    “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
    By any other name would smell as sweet;
    So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d
    Retain that dear perfection which he owes
    Without that title…..”

    Labels are labels. The way up and out is what is important. If you have found a way to move on up a little higher – that is what counts, and you “retain that dear perfection….. without that title [label].”

    Onward and upward!

  49. Phil Bruemmer

    What reference are you operating on? (joke, joke, joke!!)
    This post is a breath of fresh air.
    Just before I read it I’d been reading what Krishnamurti said in 1927, when he dissolved the organization which had been built up around his being the manifestation of the “World-Teacher”. It’s pretty long but here some excerpts from it:
    “I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect . That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organised; nor should any organisation be formed to lead or coerce people along any particular path. . . .
    If you do, it becomes dead, crystallised; it becomes a creed, a sect, a religion, to be imposed on others…”
    “If an organization be created for this purpose, it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage, and must cripple the individual, and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness, which lies in the discovery for himself of that absolute, unconditioned Truth. So that is [one] reason why I have decided, as I happen to be the Head of the Order, to dissolve it. ”
    “This is no magnificent deed, because I do not want followers, and I mean this….
    “The moment you follow someone you cease to follow Truth. I am not concerned whether you pay attention to what I say or not.
    I want to do a certain thing in the world and I am going to do it with unwavering concentration. I am concerning myself with only one essential thing: to set man free. I desire to free him from all cages, from all fears, and not to found religions, new sects, nor to establish new theories and new philosophies…
    Because I am free, unconditioned, whole, not the part, not the relative, but the whole Truth that is eternal, I desire those, who seek to understand me, to be free, not to follow me, not to make out of me a cage which will become a religion, a sect . Rather should they be free from all fears – from the fear of religion, from the fear of salvation, from the fear of spirituality, from the fear of love, from the fear of death, from the fear of life itself …

  50. BRAVO – Marty! I applaud and 1, 000% agree with you. I personally found I had to move out to move up. Leaving the rigid ideas of Scio behind and yet keeping some of fhe core truths has served me very well. Ah life is grand. Finding the quantum world a place for growth and discovery.

  51. Cooper Kessel

    I am looking forward to receiving ‘Memoirs’. Should arrive today and kudos to you on todays post. Very spot on IMHO.

  52. Sapere Aude

    Phil – Loved it! Personal integrity and living our own lives.
    “The moment you follow someone you cease to follow Truth. I am not concerned whether you pay attention to what I say or not.
    I want to do a certain thing in the world and I am going to do it with unwavering concentration. I am concerning myself with only one essential thing: to set man free. I desire to free him from all cages, from all fears, and not to found religions, new sects, nor to establish new theories and new philosophies…”

    And this is not confused with the use of tools developed by LRH to help in this effort. Thank you for posting this.

  53. Cooper Kessel

    I couldn’t agree more. I learned verbally that I had been officially declared an SP by the CO$ in a ‘limited distribution’ goldenrod dated 12 Feb 2013. Julian Schwartz at Pac Base has the particulars for anyone who is interested. It was very liberating for me to know that ‘Scientologists’ the world over now considered me officially an “anti social personality”. The liberation came as the result of a final separating out from the ‘group’ whom I had previously aligned with. I do not share the same values as that group specifically with respect to what (they do) vs. what (they say). I can and add very specific time, place, form and event to the ‘theys’ above but it is not the point here.
    The truth of the situation is that I am very ‘anti-social’ when it comes to dealing with those that choose to place themselves on a self imposed moral high ground and I have been very mouthy over the last period of time posting here as ‘newcomer’ about those issues. Thank you Marty for creating that space.
    My comments today however relate to the concept of considering myself a Scientologist which I DO NOT. Nor do I consider myself an Independant Scientologist, or a freezoner or whatever other label there can be conjured up. I do consider the subject of Scientology to have been so thoroughly corrupted in the public view as to require a distancing from the subject as a whole.
    I have trained to a Class VI auditor, and I am an OT VIII by CO$ labeling/status standards. I do consider the training and processing valuable and I use what I have learned in life. The lessons I have recently learned about how a workable philosophy can be so thoroughly corrupted as to turn well intentioned people into malleable souls to do the bidding of others is very senior to all of the previous education and I consider myself fortunate to have arrived here.
    My name is Cooper J. Kessel. I am # 443 in the Indy 500 list. I can be contacted via e-mail at Cheers everyone!

  54. PB,
    Thanks for the uplift. Great truth.

    “Rather should they be free from all fears – from the fear of religion, from the fear of salvation, from the fear of spirituality, from the fear of love, from the fear of death, from the fear of life itself …”

    George M. White

  55. I think when anyone is declared there should be a party for that person. A graduation party with balloons, invitation cards and finger food. Speeches, presents and toasting.

    When years back I realized being kicked out of limited thought clubs was not a sad affair but a happy graduation, it completely redifined my concept of needing to belong to a group.

    My group now are rouges, artists, sages, saints, gays, adepts, yogis, free thinkers.

    If you do not universally accept human beings on the merit of authentic human values of truth and decency then I do not have to kick you out of my club.

    You will simply not be able to handle being around us. But we will always leave the door open for you when you discover who you are!

  56. At some point we all take off the training wheels

  57. PreferToBeAnon2


  58. villagedianne

    I am reminded of these 2 quotes by by Krishnamurti:

    “You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, ‘What did that man pick up?’ ‘He picked up a piece of the truth,’ said the devil. ‘That is a very bad business for you, then,’ said his friend. ‘Oh, not at all,’ the devil replied, ‘I am going to help him organize it.’

    I maintain that truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or coerce people along a particular path.

    I wish you well on your search, Marty.

  59. villagedianne

    Ha! I see I am no the only one who posted a quote by Krishnamurti. I guess great minds think alike.
    I myself do not always live up to the ideals espoused by Krishnamurti. Heck, even Krishnamurit himself did not always live up to his own ideals. But they are great ideals nonetheless, and worth striving for.

  60. 100% agree!!!

  61. Roger From Switzerland Thought

    “Contrary to what has been taught for years, satisfied preclears DO DISSEMINATE. We outside the church know this as word of mouth advertising and it is the best kind.”

    I like that ! 🙂

  62. Roger From Switzerland Thought

    but pc’s don’t disseminate !!!!!!!! LOL

  63. That really struck a chord and brought a smile. Marty is quite possibly the only true product of Scientology anywhere! How funny.

  64. Amadeo you are soooooooooooooooo boring. Do you like yourself when you look in the mirror?

  65. Congratulations, Cooper!

    May you keep everything that benefited you in Scientology, and jettison everything that didn’t.

    You sure paid for it. It is certainly your right to do and say whatever you want about Scientology, and to whomever you wish. I’m sure many people could learn valuable lessons about Scientology from you.

    Way to go.


  66. Way to go, Marty.

    I had my own take on the same:

  67. Marty wrote:

    I do not go by any labels and I am not a member of, nor am I affiliated with, any groups.

    Does this mean that you no longer self-identify as a Scientologist?


  68. Snowhite is a moniker used by one or a few German OSA addicts.

    He/they have never understood the full tone scale and its lower areas about dramatizing control and obsessive ownership. He/they also don’t respect LRH’s creed of the Church which advises open communication.

    I call these guys Sigh’n’tologists.

  69. Here is someone stalking Marty on his blog, and telling Him, to fuck off and stay off.

    This is why I support the N.R.A..

  70. This is why, people need security guards and body guards. This is why, people fight for the right to bear arms.

  71. Even after six years out of the SO and the cult, I retain a very deep level of rage at what I colluded in allowing to happen to me. I rarely look into that seething space, and considering the road I have traveled since, I am always a bit shocked that this is still there.

    In one sense I have been in a good place in that I am not judgmental about the paths that people take as they begin to recover their sense of self after years of what can best be described as mind rape. I have been able to closely follow the routes and byways that people have taken. Some I find inspiring, some I find difficult to come to terms with. But as long as they are not being manipulated then I can only wish them the best.

    I will tell one thing, Marty, I will read both the books, and if I think that you can help me to deal with this corrosive rage that I feel, then I will reach out to you. But I cannot reach out for orthodox Hubbard tech, it would, I fear be tantamount to a dried out alcoholic just having ‘that one drink’.

    Buried anger and rage are a burden. I want to let it go. So far I have not found out how to do that. I have to admit that every now and then, it is a bit scary. .

  72. gretchen dewire

    How do we take the significance out of an event, for if we can do that , find a way to do that, the event is neutralized and has no power over us.. On the other hand, I have found when I interiorize too much on myself, if I in someway help another person, I can forget about my own woes. If I do this long enough , my life changes for the better. Just my two cents worth.

  73. Hey Coop!! You da MAN!! 🙂

  74. Wendy Munro

    Hello Cooper! I always enjoyed your posts as “Newcomer”. I also have a goldenrod – and I consider it a score card in a game I no longer play, and a wrong item to boot. Congratulations on your transition and liberation. You can’t be too bad a person if the devil kicks you out of hell!

  75. Do you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?

  76. “f) help OTs transcend the captive, glass ceiling dimension they’ve been led into.”

    That’s my favorite. In the last couple of months I’ve spoken to several recently defected OT VII’s and VIIIs who really couldn’t grasp the idea of just as-ising charge by inspection or putting themsleves on the meter and using ruds or an L1C or whatever to locate and as-is the charge.

    It’s almost like having a flat tire and being paralyzed, unable to call a tow truck or jack the car up and put the spare on without a formal decree from the Pope that you won’t go to hell for taking such initiative.

    I’ve learned the most remarkable tools from Ron. From the comm course to solo NOTs, recognizing and as-ising service facs to correcting out-lists and wrong items. Amazing things to keep me happy. And I am taking myself exactly where I want to take myself with these tools.

    Our goal is to set the person up so he never again needs another auditor or C/S to handle anything for him. He’s entirely capable of handling himself.

    By the way, Marty, got the book and the first four chapters are a great read.


  77. Good point Gretchen. I am out there a lot in the community and do a lot of one on one work with people. It is just that it seems that every year I fall into a pretty crippling level of depression. This last was the worst. I came out of it thanks to both counseling and a course of anti depressants. But I still feel that rage and I am fairly certain that it is this that triggers the depression.

    I am hoping that Marty will be able to help, my only problem with the therapists I have worked with to date is that they just don’t get what went on in the cult, and it is difficult to thus to untangle it all with them.

    It seems that Marty is taking a much broader view of things now and that gives me hope that I may be able to knock thing on the head if it can be got at from an in depth understanding of the Hubbardian paradigm and a kind of gestalt approach.

  78. Limited Distribution Goldenrod. What a concept! Apparently mine was so limited that even I wasn’t on the distribution list, but they did make sure some of my business associates knew about it.

  79. Pilgrims Progress

    Today I was driving through a small town, and on the main street there was a home with a shingle out front that said “Soul Healer”, with a phone number. Not something I had ever seen before. Very professional looking sign. It could just as easily been suitable for “tax accountant”. It seems that Marty is a counselor, and scientology philosophy and techniques would be, simply by nature of his time spent learning and living them, if for no other reason, a large part of his repertoire. I bet he will be doing a world of good for a whole bunch of folks. It doesn’t matter what he calls himself. Helping is what matters. Results matter.

  80. martyrathbun09

    Good going Les.

  81. Tom Gallagher


    I very recently placed an order with a “survival” type company nearby to you . He’s what I’d call a new old timer, if that makes sense.

    My point is this: He described meeting someone like you (specifically) and realized that the gains available from and through Hubbard’s stuff is actually only available outside the corporate structure.

    Thus, keep up the good work.

    I sense that the perpetuation of these good works will only come about from those that don’t assume crazy identifications like I AM A CARD CARRYING SCIENTOLOGIST WITH A COUPLE OF MILLION DOLLARS OF STATUS.

    Personally, I’m NOT a SCIENTOLGiST. In actual fact, I continue to employ only the stuff that works.

    The best to you and yours.

  82. John – I’m so sorry you are feeling at times such deep depression and rage … I’ve been there … had Marty been out of the cult at the time and offering what he’s outlined above, I wouldn’t have hesitated to seek his help.

    Instead I had to find my way out of the depression and rage through slowly learning about Buddhist thought.

    May I suggest a wonderful, short book by Pema Chodron American Buddhist nun – “When Things Fall Apart” – its short, not heavily into any Buddhist stuff – just a very workable book about – things falling apart.

    So while you are reading Marty’s books and hopefully arranging to see him – get Pema’s book – she has thousands of readers who never do any meditation or further Buddhist study – just read her books.

    I recommended her highly …

    I know that you are going to be free from this depression and rage … you’ll see.


  83. Welcome out Cooper!!! Yes you are very fortunate to have arrived here, good Karma must be looking out for you or actually just some damn good smarts that you can SEE what’s in front of your face. Would love to hear more of your journey, am going to email you with more particulars.

  84. Brianna, that’s your opinion. Do you have anything to back it up? And whose else’s “Clearing” would I mean?

  85. Martin, I think there are probably others, but Marty is, for sure.

  86. Eddie, you might find some kindred souls on Geir’s blog,

  87. The Independent Auditor’s I know don’t proclaim to be the best, in fact they back each other up and help each other to be the best that they can, it’s not a competition for God’s sake like you make it sound. These guys for the most part have been trained with the same tech as others and try their best to apply it. It doesn’t mean they are perfect but for God’s sake they get a hell of a lot better results than that squirrel tech mind bending stop control you will get within the CofM. There is no big money in it for sure, that should tell you a lot, they really want to help. The big money is in the CofM with all the dono useless campaigns existing members are hypnotically inclined to, poor fools and that big money goes to who – psychopath David Miscavige with his thousand dollar suits/shoes/chefs/cars/houses/make-up artists/planes/carribean vacations, meanwhile the most loyal dedicated members exist on $50/wk, go figure that out.

  88. Hi Naomi. I had a web site once. For about 6 years. Just before and after Anonymous came into being. It got over 60,000 visits during that time. People (some well known former Scientologists as well) have copied and pasted WHOLE pages of the site onto theirs and .PDF’d the site for download in various places. 🙂 I guess I am flattered a bit. I took the web site down eventually one afternoon in BOREDOM! 🙂 I took a good look, not at all the copy and pasting that people did of my definitions of tech terms and stuff, but of the actual meat of the site, my personal diary, from my years of “involvement” (if you can call it that) with this deranged group called the Church of Scientology that many people are all too familiar with these days! 🙂 My honest gut response to my own web site was “What a god damned upsetting thing for a church to do to somebody!” 🙂 So, some KEY people (former church members, Anonymous, etc.) I wanted the opinions of read it and told me about it, and I took it down. Today I don’t look at that, I look at happier things, BUT…I am glad I got that off my chest anyway! 🙂

  89. Beautiful Phil, thanks for posting that!

  90. I think what we have here and now it the best means of finding, following and preserving truths: the open internet. If we have data and we share it, openly, unrecompensed and without need to claim source, we will have achieved a new level of knowledge and knowing: general sharing, general ownership. It may take a while to formulate from this a set of workable paths – and many will be unworkable – but freedom and choice will be there. It’s a pretty decent restarting point. It has potential.

  91. Sapere Aude

    Coop – VWD and welcome to the world of rational beings. You are one of those who have the ability to not only see what is actually there but then act as a free being. Cheers to you!

  92. Joe Pendleton

    Just started the memoirs this evening and the first two chapters are riveting, a very compelling story – can’t wait to see how it continues. But I also want to mention that the writing itself is wonderful. Marty, you are an extremely talented writer and I hope that you keep expressing yourself this way well into the future. Just loved how you described “Crazy” and his attitude toward life and the basketball game where you went ext. Keep doing what you’re doing, having a positive effect on others’ lives as well as creating the aesthetic effects that you do with your writing art.

  93. Joe Pendleton

    Cooper, the same thing happened to me – found out from someone about my SP declare when this person sent me a disconnection comm (the only one out of a hundred or so who even had the confront to do that, the others just “unfriended me” or stopped answering comm). After 35 years as a productive tech person, I committed the sin of communicating. Julian will one day become very ashamed of his actions. Louis Swartz has already become just a shadow of what he once was as a being. Though I have to admit I did not find it liberating. I won’t really use the word “bitter” as I am happy with my own actions and I have assumed cause point for the effects that I am experiencing. But the whole cycle of declaring people who have been productive auditors/staff members as “suppressive” has just further lowered not just the repute of the CoS for me, but has made it clear to me what kind of beings the CoS is ultimately creating – these people are in very, VERY bad shape. There isn’t a scale in 0-8 that they are not lingering at the bottom of. This is what happens when beings move surely in the direction of fear, self deception, denial and other determinism. I do not consider these people “clear” or “OT” because those states were supposed to include awareness of awareness and a high level of ethics, confront and ARC. But …. all things considered, I’m glad I’m on the journey I am on. As Marty’s old friend “Crazy” pointed out to him when he was just a teenager, it’s the “ride” and I think those of us on this blog are having a good one.

  94. Sorry Cooper, I never acknowledged your freedom to reveal youself. Thank you for posting what you did from my post. I and honored 🙂

  95. Hey Geir, glad you posted that link! That thread has a lot of intelligent posts by a lot of intelligent people, including that abrasive sob named Valkov….. 🙂

  96. Cooper Kessel

    Well I am in the mood for a good ole fashioned Par TE with friends!

  97. Cooper Kessel

    I will help any way I can. At the moment I want to make sure that all of my friends, clients and business associates know the truth about why a family man of 33 years with zero out 2-d scenes and full help flows measured in hundreds of hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars suddenly is getting a divorce and has children who refuse to communicate with him!

    Bad, bad dog. The guy must be a real loser with lots of crimes !!!!!!!!! LOL

  98. Cooper Kessel

    Thanks Tony. Look forward to meeting you one day soon.

  99. Cooper Kessel

    Feels good too getting a bit chilled off. I wonder if my goldenrod is worse than yours!!!! One day in the future we will have to have a ‘worst goldenrod issued contest’ ! problem is Mike and Marty would always toast the rest of us. Dang!!

  100. Cooper Kessel

    Only got to my wife and kids. It was explained to my wife that they were going to send someone out to show me the copy but somehow that didn’t happen. But I expect now they will have to dust it off to use with friends ‘still in’ because I am being a bit more overt about it.
    Hey, I’m an esspee. I love giving the CO$ a problem! Proves it.

  101. Cooper Kessel

    Thanks breppen,
    I put a comment on Mikes blog tonight as well. I am not a facebook fan but I do communicate via e-mail so happy to respond.
    And yes, I like being among friends so thank you for that.

  102. T. Marianne

    You’re the S̶c̶i̶e̶n̶t̶o̶l̶o̶g̶y̶ I’ve been waiting for, Marty!

    I am very much looking forward to your next book.

  103. Justin Neff

    Thank you for this, Christine.

    I was just reading John’s comments and wanted to reply but realised I had nothing to offer him other than that I know how he feels and have been experiencing this rage for years. I will read Pema Chodron’s book.

    Your comments are often like a salve. Thank you, for that.

  104. Marty,

    One thought struck me, at page 82 of your book, is that you might at that stage in your Scientology history, turned Field Auditor, like some who have specialized in handling the “illegal” (wrong choice of words in the extreme) student and pc.

    Another thought I had at that point in the book, is that also, how the admin “leaders” and “bosses” in the organization are given higher rank and admin considerations prevail.

    I thought, that fundamentally Scientology “organizations” ought not have the Executive Director and Divisional Heads and Exec Secs as the “bosses”, but rather the auditors and Case Supervisors and Course Supervisors should be the ‘bosses” and all admin staff ought to have been UNDER them, in rank and in authority. Tech people, the auditors, C/Ses, and Course Sups should have had final top authority, and admin people, and this goes all the way up, meaning tech people have to be the authority top bosses, and this ought be on the “org board” so it’s totally clear who’s top.

    And that you might have been a great Field Auditor for the “illegals” (the wrongest label that ever came about).

    If you’d have become the expert at handling “illegal” cases, as a Field Auditor,but the other big “admin” problems, would have had to have been settled, so admin rules didn’t keep running into the way.

    Like your book!

  105. I took a different approach this time…I read the comments before reading the blog. Interesting, the comments are an extension of the post. The ripple through still water. Wonderful post Marty!

    I am reminded of a story that Geoffrey Lewis’s group Celestial Navigations told (don’t recall the title and couldn’t find it on YT) where an individual has reached a point where they know they will no longer need many of the things they have been accumulating and carrying with them up to that point. If I recall correctly it seems there was a pit in the ground where the person was placing the various items as they were being discarded. Each time the person let go of something and tossed into the pit they expanded. Finally, all is let go of. All the attachments, the symbols, the nomenclature, all the labels…all the unreal additives, and the person is ready to journey on. They’re ready to move on up a little higher. Except, there is one thing the person takes with them…I think it was a flute.

    It’s a great story and it always very much resonated with me. Of course, at the time I first listened to it and then again listened to it so many times after that, I was a scientologist and it was relative to that experience I was having at the time. Now, though, I get it on so many more levels now than before.

    It is ironic, that by my following your blog Marty, I have been greatly helped in excavating attachments to the unreal that I had forgotten I had buried so that I could let them all go. And, like in the story, each time I have let something go, I have grown. The veil is lifted a bit more and the ME that I truly am is recognized. I am moving up a little higher.

    I look forward to the journey ahead. All the best in yours, Monte

  106. Thank you for care and concern, Christine. The bad stuff only kicks in every now and again, but it is there. I appreciate the suggestion and I will get that book.

    We are experiencing a beautiful, warm June here in Ireland and I am out in boats, walking in woods, sipping nice cool drinks al-fresco as I pen my next book and I find myself looking after dogs, cats and Guinea pigs – the cat attacked one and we are nursing him back to health.

    Right now all is well, I want to build on this so that I am in a more robust place next time the bad stuff rears it head.

    Thanks again.

  107. Marty, I read the first chapter on the Amazon site. It is a vivid and moving account.

    This not the rigid, glaring and deeply conflicted RTC IG I bumped into too many times during my SO years. This is a real person.

    I look forward to reading the book and shifting some negative perceptions.

  108. Cooper Kessel

    Thanks SA,
    This is another great day in a great life. Let the splurging begin anew!

  109. Ken Schick

    Marty, YOU are the person who I would ask to help me sort out whatever…I deeply respect and trust you.

  110. Cooper Kessel

    “I do not consider these people “clear” or “OT” because those states were supposed to include awareness of awareness and a high level of ethics, confront and ARC. But …. all things considered, I’m glad I’m on the journey I am on.”

    Yes, the journey in life seems to be the path of constant vigilance and a ‘willingness’ to say and do something about things that should not be. This obviously puts a supreme test on ones point of view and at once demands a level of KRC/ARC to be applied in life. Failing that and caving in on ones integrity is a very slippery slope.
    For those remaining in and blind to those who see and will not speak up, the only difference IMHO is the steepness of the slope. But it ends in the same fricking ditch! An SP declare is the rope to flat terrain!!!!

    I have especially enjoyed this “ride” and sharing it with like minded folks has added to the thrill of it. There is lots more left too so I will be getting back in line for the next turn and committing the two greatest crimes of the universe; being here and communicating! What fun!

  111. Wendy Munro

    Hey Coop. I haven’t even seen my declare. It was what Mike would call a “Grapevine Declare”. Marty posted last year the “painless declare”, and in the comments section, I revealed my name and invited the RCS to declare me. They kindly obliged, and a declare was issued within a week. (I only heard about it months later, and got the date, but not specifics via someone demanding my family disconnect from me!!). So we know for sure OSA reads the blog, and for once, they paid some attention to what I was saying.

    I am so sorry this business has torn your family apart. The RCS is racking up a huge karmic debt! But you sound strong……

    A note for OSA: So OSA, another OVIII departs. Huh? What’s going on over there at the church?

  112. Jane Parker White.

    Marty, I thought you had already come to this conclusion, long before posting it here. That is how I read it. I thought this quote might be apt and share it here.

    “You know, if we understand one question rightly, all questions are answered.

    But we don’t know how to ask the right question. To ask the right question demands a great deal of intelligence and sensitivity. Here is a question, a fundamental question: is life a torture?

    It is, as it is; and man has lived in this torture centuries upon centuries, from ancient history to the present day, in agony, in despair, in sorrow; and he doesn’t find a way out of it. Therefore he invents gods, churches, all the rituals, and all that nonsense, or he escapes in different ways.

    What we are trying to do, during all these discussions and talks here, is to see if we cannot radically bring about a transformation of the mind, not accept things as they are, nor revolt against them.

    Revolt doesn’t answer a thing. You must understand it, go into it, examine it, give your heart and your mind, with everything that you have, to find out a way of living differently.

    That depends on you, and not on someone else, because in this there is no teacher, no pupil; there is no leader; there is no guru; there is no Master, no Saviour. You yourself are the teacher and the pupil; you are the Master; you are the guru; you are the leader; you are everything. And to understand – is to transform what is.

    I think that will be enough, won’t it?”
    ― Jiddu Krishnamurti

  113. Cooper Kessel

    No apologies needed Brian.
    For what ever reason, when I happened onto Marty’s blog yesterday, your comment struck the chord for me originate. Tony DePhillips had mentioned to me (newcomer) sometime back about my identity and I had forgotten to complete the cycle. So thanks for being here and communicating. (We will figure out your amends project later!)

  114. Thanks for your advice 🙂
    Really appriciated

  115. Very much looking forward to this one…

  116. Aquamarine

    Brian, what is a “rouge”? I’ve looked it up to find any other meaning besides make-up but couldn’t find anything. Is this a typo , i.e. “rogue”?

  117. 2ndxmr

    Yes. I think that resources of communication, such as this one, are the best hope for mankind.

    Open communication works in so many ways.

  118. Ha Ha

  119. Yes Aquamarine, I notoriously do not edit. I just type my ideas sometimes without going back. It is rogue…. Sorry:-)

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