Dave Fagen Has Something To Say

Dave Fagen – My Side of the Story

My name is Dave Fagen. I was on staff for 25 years in theChicago org of the Church of Scientology. I fully left the church in March of 2010 and announced my resignation to church officials.

After I left, a few people had asked me to write up a declaration introducing myself as someone who had left the church with an explanation as to why, as many others have done. I didn’t know what I could offer that would be much different than what others have written, such as the abuses in the church and other stories.

Then a moment came where I realized that I had a lot of attention on what my former friends in the church were thinking as to why I had suddenly just up and left after 25 years. I never had a chance to explain it to any of them especially since, to my knowledge, not one of them wanted me to tell them.

But, I thought, maybe some of them do want to know. And maybe some who don’t want to know now, will want to know sometime in the future even if it is years down the line.

As I was going through my life after the C of S, I kept imagining what I would want my former acquaintances in the church to know about what happened when I left over two years ago and how it all went down, and why. It culminated in a moment where I decided that I had a purpose now to offer to them my side of the story.

And I wanted them to know everything that happened and every morsel of my reasoning.

So I decided to write this blog. It took me over a year, very part-time, to write it and polish it up. blog link:  Dave Fagen: My Side of the Story.

Though this story is specifically addressed to the people who knew me when I was in the church, anyone who is interested can read it and it is my hope that anybody who reads it can get something beneficial out of it.

I think that this story could possibly be helpful to anyone who doesn’t like what he or she sees going on in the church these days and may need someone else’s viewpoint. And this story definitely does have a viewpoint.

Or maybe if you know someone who is in the church and can’t make up their mind and is going through the usual cognitive dissonance, well, though this is only one person’s viewpoint, it certainly is a full and detailed one. So maybe you would like to refer him or her to my story.

Or if you are already out of the church, you may just find it interesting to get yet another viewpoint. I know for myself, I can’t get enough viewpoints on this whole thing and haven’t gotten sick of the stories after two years and don’t see that happening anytime soon.

My story as written is very long. I know that may be a turn-off for some. But there was nothing that I wrote in this blog that I felt was any less important to be made known to my former acquaintances and colleagues than anything else so I decided not to shorten it.

Instead I made it into sections with titles, so that in case you don’t want to read the whole thing, you can just pick out parts that interest you and read those.

“My Side of the Story” answers for me the question: “If I could talk to my former friends still in the Church of Scientology about why I left, what would I say exactly?”


124 responses to “Dave Fagen Has Something To Say

  1. These days it’s not a question of “Who’s left the church?” but more of a question of “Who’s still in?”

    in so much as the “Who’s still in?” list is a shorter one.

  2. Dave, I read the first 15-20 pages of your site just now. I wanted to say that your writing is engaging and accessible to those of us who were never “in.” By making your writing so clear and accessible to the average reader, I suspect that your site will reach far beyond your compatriots on staff who you’re focusing on, and will speak to the broader public who is wondering why something “feels” wrong with Scientology.

    I really appreciated your reasonable tone and the thought that you put into backing up your conclusions with readily discerned facts. I think that style, rather than burying readers under endless excerpts of PL’s and directives and whatnots, will make your work particularly effective. You convince people while respecting that they may reach differing conclusions and without needless name-calling of Miscavige and others. That’s far more credible than the usual sort of tantrum that passes for argument on huge swaths of the Internet.

    Again, great job. Though it’s a little early to call it, I think your site could easily become an oft-used reference work to help people understand what’s wrong inside the cult and to help them prepare to leave. In a way (and I’m reluctant to say this lest it sound like casual hype, which it’s not) your site could be over time a slow-motion version of Debbie Cook’s bombshell New Year’s e-mail, from a trusted and respected “insider” who is highly credible in their thought processes.

    Best wishes for a fulfilling and happy life going forward.

    –John P.

  3. Welcome Home Dave. And thank you for 25 years of service. I am sure you will put it all to excellent use in continued service to others. You have every reason to be proud. Best wishes.

  4. I really do like the layout of your blog, Dave. I will spend some time reading it all, section by section. Thanks for posting it Marty.

  5. Rory Medford

    wow! awesome write up. clear as a bell to why you left (and it was the correct move) and your story is very similar to why I left and why thousand upon thousands have left and why thousands upon thousands more are on their way out the door. You were declared by a flick of a finger by someone uplines because you did not bow and kneel to the almighty shrimp god!

  6. Ditto: WOW!!!

    Dave Fagen, that’s great.

    I thought I was going to be reading a doubt formula. Instead I was presented with the Encyclopedic reference of doubt, David Fagen, and the nature of BS and how to evaluate it – with a calm mind and weather eye.

    Your friends are lucky, you are one of the good guys.

  7. For example:

    2½ % or 97½ %?

    (Section 2 of Part 3 – Why I Left the Church)

    As I pointed out earlier, the list of the 49 out of 50 staff (who at one point had worked with LRH — all of them at the same time!), was a major indicator to me that the current leadership of the church was corrupt. Here is a reference:

    “Now any time you find thirty people on staff being removed because they were suppressive, you know they had the wrong Why, because the percentages are wrong. It’s just mathematical as that. If they’ve done that then I can also assure you they’ve left the suppressive on the staff and I can also assure you the guy that did it was suppressive.” – LRH (HCO PL 15 March 1977RA, Data Series 41 The Situation, Management Series Vol 1, page 615)

    These were all people who worked with LRH yet they were now all DECLARED SP’S! Does this make sense to you

  8. Dave, I just read through your “Table of Contents”. Incredibly thorough! It is obvious that your leaving the CoS is it’s big loss and the world’s big gain.

    You and Sindy must have together been practically carrying the Chicago Org on your shoulders.

  9. Well written! Thanks for writing this up. Even though it is addressed to your friends from Chicago, there is not one among us who did not have similar problems with those still in:

    – Blaming the spouse or other family members for your personal decision
    – Never would have come up with the idea that the church is screwed unless you have contact with vile SPs.
    – That somehow writing a KR or Things that Shouldn’t Be report will suddenly make the whole problem go away.
    – That your entire existence as a being is dependent on the church.
    – That you are betraying your friends by leaving the church.
    – That Ron would never condone this
    – That it is impossible for the “Finder of Lost Tech” to be an SP.

    This is the change process, isn’t it? Squirrels are bad, organizing splinter groups is bad, Scientology is the road to truth and the Church is the toll-gate to the bridge.

    The biggest held-down-sevens in this whole thing are these two:

    1. That the church will always be forwarding the true aims of Scientology, and
    2. That those outside the church are invariably trying to destroy Scientology.

    The real truth is that people who do Scientology with the intention of helping people do better are Scientologists. People who don’t are not.

    Thanks again, Dave.

  10. Dave,

    We met once, briefly, not sure if you remember me.

    Your blog is excellent for several reasons. It is plain English, anyone can read it. It is systematic, logical, and not over the top. You make very reasonable and logical deductions, honestly I was taken by some of your assumptions and conclusions, their simplicity and directness and compassion.

    You obviously put a lot of time and thought into this, thank you. I think you have created a valuable and safe resource for people to try and understand what is happening to the church, the religion, the philosophy they dedicated their blood sweat and tears to. The route to understanding is not easy.

    If I may suggest, as you have time, include links to some of the specific videos and articles you found most valuable, provides credibility, and lets people research more on those points of significant interest to them and their realities.

  11. Thank you for this I believe you’re correct that even if you cover the same issues or perhaps less, say you just got pissed off with the regging, it is still your story and people will be interested to know why you “blew”.

  12. Ziba Feulner

    Dave, your blog is very insightful! I have not read through everything yet but the parts I read were very useful especially for people who are still doubtful or try to figure things out…I will for sure pass your blog on…

  13. I read your blog – simple truths by a smart, observant and caring man.

  14. Congratulations for your great job ! And thank you to share your Side of the Story with us ! It helps a lot !

  15. The Oracle

    Truth is a freeing, calming, release. I am floating. Thank you.

    Brilliant! Just Brilliant!

  16. David, excellent write up. I dont think we ever met, but i have had very good friends who were on staff at Chicago Org or public, so I know that we know alot of the same people. I think I did meet your wife once. Anyway, please have no doubt that your blog will help at some point those you care about there. The only thing missing from your blog is your email address or some way for people contact you. If its there and I missed it my bad, but I think that probably there are staff and public in Chicago currently adrift who may want to contact you at some point. Thanks for your thoughtufl write up and i hope the best for you and your wife.

  17. I just spent the morning reading your entire blog. Thank you for taking the time to write up your journey. What was amazing was how closely your summary of your own process matches my own as you sorted through the obvious and not so obvious outpoints and discrepancies regarding the current state of affairs in the current Church of Scientology under the management of David Miscavage, et al. I found your examination of the rationale behind “all critics have overts” particularly insightful. Bravo for such clear thinking and analysis and thank you for taking the time to write up so clearly and thoroughly what you found and how you responded to it. Kudos!

  18. Read as much of it as I could. To the point, no beating around the bush. Like a course sup wrote it or something!

  19. Sindy Fagen

    I’m really glad that this is finally up. Dave spent a long time on this, getting this exactly the way he wanted it to be, before putting it out. I hope there are many lurkers who are not willing to let the C of S decide for them what they can and cannot read. While Dave was servicing the Chicago field, unselfishly for 25 years straight, he was very well thought of and to shun him, well, it is very disappointing and disheartening to see. He never once thought of himself.

    Thanks to Mike Rinder for taking his very precious (now that he is a new dad!) time to read this all the way through and to give his few suggestions on making it more readable. Thanks Marty for posting.

  20. Hi Dave,
    A few weeks ago I had the good fortune to read a comment of yours on this blog. Having done that I clicked on your name and it took me to your blog which is our subject for today. Although, I didn’t read every section, I did read many of the most interesting looking links which proved to be quite enlightening. You might remember my emailing you about it. I want to thank you for putting it out there so clearly and factually. It made it easier for me
    to confront my own scene as regards going Independent.
    Max Bleiweiss

  21. Watchful Navigator

    Thanks for what you worked so hard to accomplish here.

    There are many more stories that need to be told and your site serves as a good model and inspiration. The more data points, the closer we get to the truth of the big picture.

    Thanks for your 25 years of service.

    Scott Gordon
    -a fellow Class V staffmember – DSA CCDallas

  22. Dave,
    Wow, that is as thoroughgoing a description of evaluation of the data as I’ve seen. Well done. I’m glad you are here, and thankful for what you have done to assist others live better, do better and make this whole culture better.

    Jim Logan

  23. Dave I just finished reading your blog, excellent!!! that took a lot of thought, love and care for your fellow friends. Very well done to you.

  24. Professional, very well done on layout, a must read for
    the trampled on novice at Flag. All Scientologists in
    the Church of Miscavige

  25. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. 🙂
    Thanks to you too.

  26. Thanks for doing this Dave!!
    I will read it in the very near future. I checked out the blog and it looks fantastic!!
    Hope to see you at the party!!

  27. A+
    Thank you so much Dave. There are so many things you said here that parallel my experiences, thoughts, etc. I’m sure I will be reading this more than once and hopefully referring friends to it as well.

  28. Tom Gallagher

    Thanks Dave Fagen and welcome. You present thoughts that are engaging, cogent and pertinent.

    The organized Hubbard scene became unglued when (IMHO) Registrars (for whatever false causes) were raised to a status and pay-grade higher than Auditors.

    This is where the psychotic and anti-social shrimp pope,POB, comes in. The rest is history.

    Again, thank you for your take and perspective on this utter horror story, i.e., The Cult of Miscavige.

  29. Well done for coming out and speaking up, Dave.

    You have created an excellent website, accessible and calm, and I’m looking forward to checking off the chapters.

    I agree that it’s hugely fascinating to see what other people make of Scientology, the church situation and their view of life. For myself, it’s been a revelation taking the blinkers off, realigning what I’ve learned, and seeing the bigger picture. It was daunting leaving the church, but thanks to Marty’s and Steve Hall’s sites I was soon up and running. And your pages grace the bigger picture. Thanks.

    It’s great to have freedom, friends, and to see new things.

    Actually, life is great after all!


  30. Eileen Clark

    Ditto. What Tara said.

  31. Tom Gallagher

    Allow me to add a point, if not one word, that describes and quantifies RCS: Stultifying.

    There. I’ve said my peace (or is that piece).

  32. I concur with John P. and welcome you to the real world. Thank you for being here.

  33. Dave, glad you wrote the blog! I read a few sections to get a flavor of your comm to “your” public and staff connections.

    I have been contemplating doing a similar of my own but was struggling with how to start. I guess the answer is to just start writing and take it from there.

    I’m with you, if it helps someone understand, then it’s a good thing…whether that be now or some time in the future.

    I am completely new to this and might want to chat with you about setting the thing up, if you wouldn’t mind.

  34. Eileen Clark

    In the Study Tapes–Studying: Introduction, LRH talks about the correspondence course on photography. Each time I have studied these lectures I am reminded of the importance of being able to learn enough about a subject, about its fundamentals, to be able to have an opinion about that subject.

    David’s excellent writing proves that he has more than earned the right and ability to have an opinion, to be able to ‘see’ what is what as opposed to being told what to see and only following that; which is in fact ‘the blind leading the blind’ scenario that dm set the stage for so well.

    I truly believe that what you have done, David, will have a ringing ripple effect. One that will help some to find their way again.

  35. Well said.

  36. Your humble servant


    Thanks very much for this. I haven’t read it yet, but I will, and I’m sure it will be good.

  37. John,

    When I first read Debbie’s email I had been well in-progress on my story, and I thought, “Oh, no, she beat me to it!”

    Then I realized that a lot more write-ups of this kind are needed. Let’s just keep piling it on.


  38. Martin,

    At one point I thought of calling my blog, “How to Leave the C of S 101”. Thanks for the compliments.

    I’ve wanted to ask you for a while, are you related to Alex Gibson who was, in 2006 (and I don’t know if she still is), the Senior Intern Sup at Flag?


  39. Dave,
    What a touching accounting of your decision; well done.
    It’s amazing how DM’s subverted his true intentions.
    But, your observations were so astute.
    I was taken all over the tone scale.
    Thanks for your thoughfulness in getting this in print, it will have a big effect. Thanks to your wife Sindy for getting you to look.
    Welcome! ML, Midge

  40. Valkov,

    Thanks for the compliment but actually, no, the ED of the Chicago Org is the one who has carried the org on her shoulders for years. See the section called “You Abandoned Your Friends” for my full viewpoint on that.

  41. one of those who see

    Hi Dave!!! Welcome!!!! I am mid reading your blog and it is fantastic!!! Thank you!!!

  42. Mike,

    Yes I do remember talking to you and I thank you for your compliments. I believe I did include links to everything I wanted to leave links to. Notice that I saved the part about the physical violence, etc, at the Int base for last, and along with that I did not include a link to the Truth Rundown until that point, even though I had mentioned the Truth Rundown several times earlier without a link.


  43. Wow…. your blog. I guess you did have something to say! Thanks

  44. Amy,

    Thank you. I think of that day where I was watching your videos as a monumental turning point in my life that I will never forget.

    I hope to meet you in person someday.


  45. A Key to Life Course Sup, no less.

  46. Yes, absolutely!

  47. Max,

    I read your comment a few weeks ago and I did try to answer you by email, saying that my blog wasn’t ready for publishing yet. Your comment is now in there. I’m glad my blog was helpful.


  48. Wow, thanks man.

  49. I hope most of them read it someday and take it fully the way it was intended. Thanks.

  50. I’ll be there.

  51. Absolutely. My email address is in the section “Regarding Your Comments to This Blog”.

  52. Dave,
    I am just really enjoying reading your story. I am only into the first several sections, but I know I will read all with interest. I am fascinated with your thought processes, and how well you articulated these!

    Kudos to both you and wife Sindy for living LRH with your thoughtful communication and application of Scientology in your marriage and your lives.
    Warm wishes for the two of you,

  53. To all who have responded and who will respond after this point: Thank you so much for your compliments. It is so much appreciated. I hope this proves to be helpful in your helping others to see what is going on.

  54. Michael Fairman

    You blog is as stellar a write-up of the Doubt Formula as I have read, The detail and objectivity with which you cover the steps, and the framework of the experience in which you place them, is, as someone here has written, a primer of what is wrong with the current “church”. You have set a high bar of “looking and not listening”. Would that the kool-aide drinking sheeple could be directed to your site. A warm welcome back to freedom to you and your equally courageous Sindy. I wish you a bright and productive future.


  55. I just read every page. Thank you. Wow and, wow. Simple, easy to follow and understand, rational and clear, and yet amazingly thorough detail. You really captured the feelings one goes through while working through the doubt; then regret that creeps in when you realize how blind you’ve been and for how long; and the eventual peace that comes from looking for yourself and knowing what you know. An excellent job that will doubtless help to open many eyes.

  56. Dear Dave,
    Your hard work and dedication is highly appreciated. I am so glad to see you and Sindy on the bright side. Thank you for being there and communicating.

  57. Captain Bob

    were you and dave at chgo org when it was in the middle of a block in a street named I think Hermitage?

    Sara Wells

  58. TheWidowDenk

    Dave — Thank you for your great blog! I’m two hours into it and simply had to take a break to comment how much I am enjoying your presentation. Especially Section 21 of Part 4 – Why I Left the Church, My “Dead Agent” Handling. This section cleared up an area of false data for me and I’m not even a former friend for whom your blog is intended. However, rest assured, I’m a new friend! Rachel

  59. Sapere Aude

    Dave – welcome and thank you for the incredible quality of communication!

    Tis more than just “hot air” blowing through the windy city tonight. I feel the cool breeze of cold hard truth blowing like the gales of November. What you have written is truth. Not some sound bite spit out, no – real truth – that has been viewed and found to be true. That is unshakable. Now it is up to the ones who call themselves “Scientologist’s” in the Chicago area to rise to the occassion.

    All they need to do is honestly look and decide with their own integrity what their friend Dave Fagen is stating on his blog.

    A fitting for you at this time:

  60. Michael,
    Very honored to get a communication from you. As a tech film junkie, I have enjoyed your performances many times. Thanks so much.


  61. Thanks so much. Will need help getting it into their hands.

  62. Bob,

    Yes we were there.

    Why did you put Sarah’s name by itself there as if she was writing and signing your comment? Care to clarify please?


  63. Hi Dave,
    What a wonderfully well written (and designed!) blog! It was worth the work because its very aesthetic, well constructed, easy to navigate and takes you through the entire sequence.
    I am sure that it will impinge on more people.
    As you mentioned one of the more annoying things about trying to communicate with the OSA people is their robotic insistence that whatever “negative” ideas, thoughts or opinions you may have MUST have come from somewhere else…I kept repeating over and over that my opinions were based on MY OWN observations, but that idea was never accepted.
    Anyway, nice to read your story!

  64. Wonderful job, David. I especially like how, in your blog, you word it so as to duplicate and address the concerns of the Kool-Aid drinker who might read it, because of the gentle but penetrating way you communicate how you worked through your own Doubt formula.

    As a fellow Class V org staff member, I plan to send this out to those at my old org who felt they must also shun me, like they did you.

    Also, as an experienced Course Supervisor myself, I can perceive in the way you address your reader the high level of ARC and caring you employed with your students over the years, of whom I am sure you produced many fine products you can forever be proud of.

    Randy Smith, former Senior CS, HGC Auditor, KTL/LOC and Pro Trs CS and Course Supervisor Pasadena (CA) Org

  65. Dear Dave,
    Thank you for blog. You are helping a lot of people with this. Again, some more BPC gathered over the last thirty or so years has left me.
    I wish you and your wife all the best. Your are among true friends.

  66. Ronnie Bell

    Dave, I already expressed my deep appreciation and admiration for what you’ve done, directly at your blog, but I’d just like to chime in here and re-iterate those thoughts.

    Your write-up is one of the best I’ve seen (and I’ve seen some very good ones). I especially like the way that you slowed down and fleshed out every important point so that people can follow your logical process of evaluation. Separating each point into its own page made it very easy to follow. You’ve easily got the beginnings of a book there. I have no doubt that you could find much more fill each of those sections out to full chapters.

    As others have commented, your blog is likely to become one of the most widely recommended places for those who are on the fence, or who are just stepping out. You start out as though you’re talking to a friend, and maintain that flow, throughout. I think that’s an excellent beingness to impart the data to some troubled person who’s just looking for answers.

    Kudos to you, my friend. Well Done!

  67. Dave, being British its not often I say wow but…WOW! Fantastic site!

  68. The Oracle

  69. The Oracle

    It is easier to forgive, than it is to give permission.

    That may strike you as absurd,. But isn’t it easier to forgive all the people at Int for what has happened than give them permission to continue?

    That is why I say, it is easier to forgive than give permission!

  70. Moon,

    My email address is in the section “Regarding Your Comments to This Blog”.


  71. Dave: Thank you very much for the care and time you’ve devoted to your expose/write up. I grew up on the North Shore (of Chicago) and go back to visit at least once every few years — I’d love to meet with you and Sindy — at one time the org was even in Evanston 🙂

    You’ve captured with great detail what I often call “The Culture of Scientology” — it ISNT what LRH wrote and talked about but is a very close parallel culture that runs along the ACTUAL teachings.

    Those of us, caught in this culture THINK we are following LRH (example since the 3rd dynamic IS very important, if you give your heart and soul to the 3rd SOMEHOW by OSMOSIS OR A FRIGGIN’ MIRACLE your 1st and 2nd will survive).

    This parallel think is what traps those inside. IF they were able to step off those parallel tracks, they could see that the path they so faithfully are following is ALMOST LRH but not quite … AND the end of the track WONT lead to spiritual enlightenment – instead to a mind numbed by falsehoods, peer pressure and ultimately laziness in the form of preferring to follow the crowd.

    You’ve done a masterful job of working hard to remain true to LRH’s tech WHILE being able to recognize the parallel culture and step off that dead end.

    I’m sure your next 25 years will be a complete delight of exploration and understanding.


  72. Dave,
    Your blog is very clear and easily understandable and really, really communicates! How you take the viewpoints of your friends into account, with so much care and patience, is simply admirable. And it surely is also a great and valuable work to show to anybody else, to give them data and insight and to give them the possibility to look and to perceive the truth. I am glad that you are here!

  73. To Dave Fagen Thanks very much for your write up clear and easy to follow and you gave a good insite of that journey you had.Good luck for your future and take care .

  74. Dave,
    I haven’t read your entire blog yet but, I have it book marked so, I can. What I have read so far is awesome!! I don’t see how your writing wouldn’t communicate and make sense to anyone reading it. I love it!!
    You’re right, it was the happenings inside the church and our willingness to look that prompted us to speak. That freedom mag being some of the worst PR ever put out, IMO.
    I’m not sure why some are willing to look, confront and think for themselves while others can’t. I’m just glad you and Sindy did. I’m so proud of you both! Thank you for your wonderful blog!!

  75. Tom, I also find it telling that the Auditor’s Day Event is of miniscule importance on Miscavige’s calender.

  76. Thanks for the huge work, Dave. To write and publish was correct, of course.

  77. Dave
    I read your blog and I want to thank you so much for your hard work, your clarity and your openness. You are an inspiration!

  78. Dave,

    I’veI read 7 or 8 pages now and the one thing that comes through loud and clear to me is your honesty. You’re exactly the kind of person I’d like to have as a terminal if I were on lines. I look forward to reading the rest.

  79. Hi Dave – Congratulations to you and your wife Sindy for figuring it all out and looking. Your blog is excellent – and beautifully designed to bring one up to confront on a steady gradient. It may have been intended for those in the Chicago area, but even here, in the southern hemisphere where I am – it resonates strongly. I have not read it all yet – but I want to thank you particularly for putting up the whole reference on What your Fee (now Donation) Buys, and the topics that follow on from there. I got it ! Thank you and Sindy for your 25 years of service to a great purpose, and thank you for your perseverence and courage in putting up the blog. Its truly appreciated.

  80. Dave, A huge welcome and thanks also for doing what LRH says. The steps for a person leaving a suppressive group are laid out by LRH known as the A to E steps. They are for everyone leaving a suppressive group and most people follow those steps organically, i.e., whether they realize it or not. They describe in precise terms exactly what a person needs to do to recover his life, recover himself, recover his integrity, recover his freedom, recover his sanity, shake off the bullshit and also put a 17′ long wooden stake into the heart of the beast. Blood does spew out everywhere, but it’s also a hell of a lot of fun and everyone who has followed those steps has reported immense case gain with each forward step. To recap:

    (0) Wake up and “come to your senses” as regards your membership in a suppressive group.

    (A) Stop committing the present time overts and ceasing all suppression so you can get a case gain. This is done by withdrawing your personal support from the suppressive group and ceasing to condone its criminality and abuses.

    (B) A public announcement is required explaining your previous support of the group and stating the influences or motivations which caused you to support the group before you came to your senses. That has to get published broadly particularly to former associates. LRH says this letter should be calculated to expose any conspiracy and that means blowing the whistle on David Miscavige — the man behind the conspiracy. You can do that here on Marty’s blog or on Scientology-cult.com or both, like Dave just did. Plus Dave went further and created his own blog.

    (B1) Get in the factor of exchange where it is out. In this case, you may need to pursue a refund (to yourself) of ill-gotten gains from the Church or IAS (etc.) since they are the squirrel group in question and obtained the money by fraudulent means.

    (B2) Do an amends project to make up any damage you personally caused to friends or family or to the human race as a whole through your personal support of David Miscavige and his fascist regime. Don’t bother with the “IJC” (which is actually David Miscavige) since he’s the SP. This is not self-abnegation, this is you getting square with the world and winning back the trust of mankind. And if you say “Well, I’m just nobody” my response is not doing this step is why you are nobody.

    (C) Retrain from the bottom up. Since you were not actually part of the conspiracy, but just a victim to it, common sense dictates you need to start applying the tech you know to improve conditions around you (which also is part of your amends). But eventually I think you would want to review, retread or retrain especially on the basics of Scientology because they are going to have a whole new meaning to you now. I think you may find that you now embody the Code of Honor, for example.

    (D) Make your own notes on these matters and keep them for yourself. You are wearing the hat of IJC for yourself since the Church, by electing to follow and empower a suppressive person, has abdicated all responsibility and all formerly worn hats.

    (E) Let the world know when you are done and celebrate the fact. These are just the broad strokes, there is more to it then this. And you can read it for yourself in the Scientology Ethics book, page 316.

    These steps laid out by LRH are the correct actions. It isn’t just a matter of doing a mere “Doubt formula.” We are dealing with a suppressive entity of the first order. You have to do something about it and you will FULLY RECOVER by doing so.

  81. Hi Dave,
    While I have not yet finished reading your entire write-up I want to fire off a few words to let you know how much I appreciate your endeavour. All the best.

  82. Was that Alex from Germany?

  83. Dave I read every article. Fascinating! You really took the time to look at LRH policy and apply it to the situation.

  84. Imagine the embarrassment of being the last person!

  85. No I’m a lone wolf. Self made scientologist.
    That questioned reminded me of how I found the tech. I decided one day if mind over matter existed that I could find “the answers”, and I decided that I WOULD find the answers. Next day I picked up Dianetics at a library, read it in 3 days, ran my flatmate through earlier similar and used file clerks commands to instantly find another earlier similar.
    That was it for me, it sounded true, and it worked, it was true for me.

  86. Sindy — perfect summation. Dave is one of the most unselfish, dedicated staff I have ever come across. He really cared during his 25 years and he still cares today. It’s evident in the time and effort he put into this blog….

  87. Randy,

    Thanks very much.

    I feel like I know you. Did you train at Flag at any time in the 00’s?


  88. Ronnie, that’s exactly what I intended to do. Thanks.

  89. WH,
    If you want to get together sometime, my email address is in the second section. Thanks for what you had to say.

  90. Yes. A good Sup with a better Sup Code than many at Flag.

  91. Captain Bob

    that was dumb of me, meant to ask if you knew her, which you answered.

  92. Man you’re good at this stuff.

  93. So you think Dave’s going to be real embarrassed do you? 🙂

    I hope he turns out the lights before he leaves.

  94. Dave,
    Wonderful blog! I found this page to be particularly brilliant! http://davefagen.wordpress.com/why-its-not-wrong-to-look/ You also did a beautiful job in the care and gentleness with which you so expertly handled the shock factor. Thank you for sharing your story.

  95. That is so true. Auditors scare the hell out of Mr. David Miscavige.

  96. Any time you’re anywhere near sunny Seattle, give me a call!
    ❤ Amy

  97. Dave, just spent a rainy Saturday morning reading your blog. Brilliant. It is intelligent, well-reasoned and very thorough. You may never know the full impact of what you have written, but I can assure you it will be greater than you might imagine. All the best to you and Sindy.

  98. Phil Bruemmer

    Dave, this is one of the best and most comprehensive writeups/announcements/exposes that I have read to date.
    I detect real care for your fellow man, as well as true integrity.
    Thanks for publishing.

  99. I thought it might have been a typo. Yes, I know her very well. A wonderful person.

  100. Well, Jeff, if it has a fraction of the impact of your book, I will be very happy.


  101. Off the fence

    Boy, talk about specifics!
    Dave Fagen, the as-is king.
    Thanks for the clarity.

  102. HannibalTheFirst

    Hi Dave,
    great blog, every Scientologist should read it.
    It cuts so plain and straight to the truth exposing the criminality and craziness of the COS.
    Well done on keeping your eyes open and well done on this excellent piece of work.

  103. Thank you, Dave. A real masterpiece. Your data analysis is spot on and your communication of it is excellent.

    I’ve flagged it for reference to anyone who comes on my lines who wants more data on the actual scene.

    There are two things that miscavige seems to be very good at. One is his ability to extort money from others with lies and false promises. The other is his ability to cut comm lines which might otherwise expose his crimes. He’s good, but just not good enough to stem the flow of truth.

    I read your entire blog. Enjoyed every bit of it.


  104. Dave Fagen
    What a great educational tool.
    I salute you.
    You have carried the torch from Jeff Hawkin’s “Leaving Scientology” eloquently and this will have far reaching effects.
    Very very well done.

  105. Wow! Holy Cow! Dave,
    So far I made it over the middle of your blog so far. Awesome!

    It is truly impressive to follow the train of your thoughts and decisions, layed out with HCOPL VIEWPOINT in mind, with a logic not often seen despite your having gone through the tumultuous times that doubt creates. With real ARC you carefully inspect every facet of facts presented to you.
    Rather than overwhelm with data you apply that gentle, humble persistence and desire for discovery that literally makes the reader hang on your lips. It is a rare and unique type of page-turner, almost a thriller and I can’t wait to read it to the end.
    Despite having looked at much data in this Co$-Indie controversy a new realization occurred that DM does NOT use “Pilot Project” Tech but just puts into action any of his “brain farts”.
    This is great for Old timers and Newcomers.
    Thank you so much for all the time and effort spent and for creating a new “Div 6” introductory entrance LANE into “Indie land”.


  106. plainoldthetan

    Dave: Your site is wonderful and helpful to those of us trying to communicate the continuing heresy of the Pope on a Box, Miscavige.

    What I was really struck by is that without the evaluation, invalidation, lies and crass manipulation coming down your lines, you would still be on staff producing.

    One of the continuing outpoints of the Cof$ is that it is totally willing to waste proven producing and enthusiastic staff members while begging and cannibalizing staff from other organizations to fill its Idull Orgs.

    It would be like Constantine purging the early Christian communities of Gnostics but then complaining that he couldn’t find holy men to found and anchor Christian outposts.

    “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” — Abraham Lincoln

  107. I have been reading more of Dave’s blog, and the more I read the more I am impressed. What I like most about it is the first person observation from the inside, conclusions made independently. Dave is incredibly honest in this – incredibly honest. There are no embellishments, no over-the-top diatribes, just a straight-ahead lay down of the facts and conclusions drawn from the facts. It is an honest self-assessment of what he believed, when and why, and how this changed as the facts came to life. It is the account of someone in the trenches in Chicago, hardly a hot-bed of Scientology. It is amazing.

    This is truly a milestone in the liberation of Scientology.

    Thanks, Marty for posting this.

  108. Lots of good info in your blog Dave. It reads well for newbies as well as old hats. I’ve read maybe half of it now, admittedly skipping around some. I just finished the part on how you were declared. Good grief. Seems typical these days to bypass any justice action and just issue Golden Rod “Delcare”. Phone didn’t work… my ass. Recourse? What’s that? lol And you don’t even get a copy, much less a comm ev. Crazy freakin times.

    A good friend recently received a comm from someone through “Linked In” believe it or not that he had to cut the comm line because of some “declare”. First he heard of it and he hasn’t even come out publicly yet. Talk about squirrels, they’ve become bonifide nut crackers.

    Anyway, very well done on the write up! Best to you and Sindy in your new life ventures.

  109. Brilliant!

  110. Your humble servant

    Well, Dave, I have read the whole account now and I must say it is a fantastic job, very readable and intensely interesting–very thorough. It is a monumental work, really. It is also beautifully laid out into concise sections. Thank you!

    I also agree it will be of great value to those wondering and wanting to find out more. While what you have described is shocking, I know it is the truth. I made quite a few comments here and there at the end of the sections.

  111. Dave-what a great write-up and blog-you are right ,the more comm the better! I love that your wife was an ethical IAS reg!!! How awesome is that! And I’m sure a real anomaly.
    The Cof $ keeps losing beautiful people like you and your wife! Welcome.

  112. The Cof $ keeps losing beautiful people like you and your wife!

    Ain’t that the truth? I was remarking to my wife today, that the church has run off the very best, the brightest, and most able beings that were ever in the group. How lucky we independents are! They’re all out here!

  113. No, I was at the FSO several times as a Public Pre-OT in the 00’s, but only trained at Flag in 81 on the OEC/FEBC. Perhaps the feeling of knowing me is from our shared reality, as long-time tech people in a Cl V org? Well done, again on the work you put into your blog!

  114. Dave cites HCO PL 23 Feb 1970 Quality of Service (http://davefagen.wordpress.com/comments-about-the-churchs-methods-of-handling-those-who-speak-out-against-it/)…

    “When persons are poorly processed or poorly trained….”
    “When persons are permitted to take higher grades without really attaining lower grades…”

    Wouldn’t it explain a lot if one such person somehow got to be the head of the worldwide Church of Scientology?

  115. I am happy to read your blog. I am still your friend and you are one of my favorite supes!
    I am not going to be stating my real name soon as I choose to apply good roads, good weather with the corporate church. I am not in comm with anyone still part of the corporate church, outside of good roads, etc. on social networking sites.
    I gave you an important silver ring. Now I can envision your beautiful smile.
    When I heard through another of your and Sindy’s declare order, it was the end of the end for me, and my entire family. “If Dave and Sindy Fagan are SP’s (laughter at that time of the conversation at the absurdity!), then pigs do fly!”
    Upon returning to Chi from LA, and having the most disturbing experience of again not getting further up the Bridge, I started looking and really confronting what was actually there–just like we all have, on and off this blog. I also experienced watching very smart, competent, standard LRH tech terminals other than you, leave the S.O., several I knew personally and trained under. Several were shocking as it made no sense they would leave. Too many left permanently from cancer, most disturbing and sad.
    Having equally disturbing comm with another at the Chi org, this furthered my looking.
    The missing ingredient of anyone not confronting the truth’s of the current, corporate C of $, is just that –confronting.
    I am very proud of your application of standard LRH tech and my family and I have done the same. What’s your email, Dave?

  116. Dave Fagen:
    O M G !!!
    I am reading your blog. IT IS A PLEASURE!
    Your blog is C O M P R E H E N S I V E !
    Your blog is NO SMALL THING.
    Your blog is creating TREMENDOUS CONSEQUENCES.
    Thank You!

  117. This is so true . Ironically they are shortening the last daily themselves it’s not so much people leaving the people getting declared and kicked out of her frivolous asking questions. I watch a lot of history and it so reminds me of the Hitler days and the Gestapo

  118. Dave first of all thanks for being here and thanks for speaking now . I think time will tell because there’re so many followers because it’s ” ” a cool religion because of celebrities but if you’re the Lisa the Lisa Marie soundtrack of recent and then see TC Distancing themselves as well as JT I think you’ll see more fall off the board because all of a sudden it won’t be so cool the interesting thing being man and Hollywood is there so many people that go to the vans and do the donations charitable event ‘s just so they can ” ” B what’s celebrities that’s going to fade away shortly I think that’s my guess at least

  119. Dave,

    The only advice I can give you as a computer guy is this.

    If you spent alot of time on your blog make sure you back everything up, lest it get lost.

    Also, say what’s truly in your heart, not what you think everyone wants to hear.

    The long run is more important than the short term.

  120. DITTO

  121. Dave,

    I read your entire blog several days ago. You did such a good job with this, and the care you took to create it is obvious.

    Your efforts will be rewarded for many years to come, and others will benefit from it enormously. I imagine that in writing it you’ve already reaped its direct benefits.

    I’m a big fan of just telling the story that is yours. And you’ve told YOUR story beautifully.


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