Monthly Archives: August 2009

Understandably, after reading “Scientific proof that Scientology works” a number of folks seem to be of the view that DM’s psychiatric evaluation of me might have merit.  And, thankfully, some are  communicating their thoughts in a civil manner. Some good thoughts too.

If you read all LRH books and listened to most lecture series from 1950 through 1964 (including SHSBC) and you audited many people for many intensives and you walked the  walk (lived what you learned in an ethical fashion) instead of wore a religion you didn’t fully understand as an emblem and defended every word of it even when you had no idea what it was you were defending, the outrageous claim I made about Chrsitakis’ findings wouldn’t sound so whack.

After all, if one really understood and applied the core philosophic principals of Scientology he/she would understand and see that beings emit wavelengths and communications travel on those waves, and that ALL one learned is designed to raise a person on the tone scale so that the waves they emit more closely resemble theta (spirit) , and having experienced  that  one can graduate above waves (which are part of the physical universe) and communicate directly through thought with other beings.  And when you walk that walk – as opposed to just talking the talk – and experience it for yourself you are experiencing something that is immeasurable by science.

So when Christakis “proves” that beings can effect the mood (tone level) of beings at a distance and that there are measurable statistics which indicate beings can effect others at a third degree of separation – a real Scientologists might take it as a validation of what he/she has been experiencing for years and sometimes even decades.

Fact of that matter is someone who has certainty that he has been out of his head – and, admittedly, most (me included) have had far less dramatic or significant  experiences than say an Ingo Swann or Hal Puthoff have claimed – he looks at the world in an entirely different way. Just as Logical Mind implies those who believe they have lived before and will live again are flat earthers, those who have witnessed such for themselves consider one-lifers to be dead in the head flat earthers.

Like it or not – that is the way real Scientologists think.  Because they are willing to think critically and concede that there are policies within Scientology that detract from that way of thinking and living – and quite frankly IMHO if applied make this state of being and understanding unattainable if applied literally (e.g. fair game, disconnect, super aggressive attacks at critics, crush regging etc) – they are able to attain the fruits of the core philosophic principals of the subject (technology) itself.

From a true Scientologist’s perspective it is ridiculous to try to make Scientology prove itself through science, when science does not recognize the soul, spirit or as we like to call it, thetan.  We are looking at the universe from an entirely different perspective and foundation.  It is not something we consider worth argument because 0ne side is arguing about the apples the other sees as oranges.

Scientologists who have practiced for long marvel at how as science evolves it seems to validate Scientology – without ever mentioning it or acknowledging it.  Their view is that ultimately science has to validate Scientology (whether it mentions it or not) because it will not unlock the most fundamental secrets of the universe until itself discovers and acknowledges the spirit.

Some of the more unorthodox, but nonetheless most brilliant, minds of science who help push the scientific envelope to open new vistas sound a lot like Hubbard during his Philadelphia Doctorate Course lectures.  One example is Dr. John Hagelin, quantum physicist, who maintains the physical universe was created by THOUGHT.  His quest for ultimate answers lead him to the Vedic Hymns;  the same source Hubbard acknowledged as his point of departure on developing Scientology. Another physicist is Dr. Andrei Linde of Stanford University who is credited by the scientific community as having all manner of credibility on theories of how the universe was created. Listen to him for a spell and you might start thinking  Hubbard sounds conservative and tame by comparison.

I am not attempting to convert or preach. Instead, I am making an earnest attempt to get folks to understand the mind of a sincere and conscientious Scientologist.  I am finding out there are more of them than most people would suspect. I have received an enormous amount of communication from “on-line” public who are like minded and who are grappling with the moral dilemma of how to take a stand – without losing their families, friends and jobs.

To illustrate how far the Church has reversed itself from its philosophical roots, realize Miscavige’s first impulse when he reads this post will likely be to strut around the office ranting to his inner circle, “look, this nut case is theetie-wheetie.”   Miscavige disdains any hint of someone experiencing “OT phenomena” like telepathic communications (which real Scientologists will tell you they experience on almost a daily basis, provided they are living their lives ethically), third degree of separation influences, even extended exteriorizations.  Any talk of such is mowed down ruthlessly by DM much like the hard core anti-Scientologists. DM has redefined OT as a gang of thugs in SO uniforms cornering some well-heeled Scientologist, intimidating him into believing Miscavige’s cathedrals prove he is greater than Hubbard, and coercing the guy to take a second mortgage on his home to contribute to the cause.

Real Scientologists reject that brand of “Scientology”, which I call “Miscavology.”  Because they have organized their lives around the Church structure , Scientology schools, and long-time business ventures with other Church members, their disconnection from the the Reverse Scientology Church is very difficult and sensitive and takes thought and time. To the degree they are bombarded with attacks on their most intimate spiritual experiences and understandings, they are further driven back to the monster that suppresses them. And that is how Miscavige thrives and continues the protection racket.

Let’s switch to history for a moment. Many writers have made a very convincing case that most wars, and thus most human caused death, have been been waged in the name of religion – most notably Christianity and Islam.  The Bible and the Koran could be argued to be the cause of a great deal of human suffering throughout history. Do we ban those books, do we burn them? Do we prohibit the practices of those religions and attack and belittle the “brainwashed” who practice them?  I reckon that such an approach would wind you up with nothing more than more terrorism and more wars.  Personally, I have met a number of very fine folks since I have left Scientology who consider themselves devoted to Christianity and Islam.  They are peaceful and considerate and ethical people . They are non-violent and if you accused them of being otherwise because of their total conviction in the truths they find within the Bible or the Koran, they’d look at you like you were nuts. If you kept subjecting them to such criticism they would eventually decide not to communicate with you and to not accept communication from you.

This blog is intended as a refuge for those making the transition from Miscavology to the real world.

Finally, another music recommendation, this one with a money back guarantee. Download G.O.D. (Gaining One’s Definition). The lyrics are included below, but you need to listen to how it is performed – music and lyric – to fully get it. Listen to it several times over. If you get nothing from it, write me with your name and address and I’ll refund you the .99 you put out for downloading it – or whatever Napster charges these days. If Common doesn’t get to you, Cee-Lo will.

Common:
After bein’ 25 you know just trying to survive in the world
Bout to have a little boy or baby girl. Who knows?
Anyway just when you start gettin that little age and experience to you
You start thinkin about stuff…tryin to make the right moves
So bust it out this is what I was thinkin check it

Yo the education of the Lon chicka Lonnie Lynn (Common’s father)
Began, began with time
Bein my bloodline is one with the divine
In time brotha, you will discover the light
Some say that God is Black and the Devil’s White
Well, the Devil is wrong and God is what’s right
I fight, with myself in the ring of doubt and fear
The rain ain’t gone, but I can still see clear
As a child, given religion with no answer to why
Just told believe in Jesus cuz for me he did die
Curiosity killed the catechism
Understanding and wisdom became the rhythm that I played to
And became a slave to master self
A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness and his health
My mind had dealt with the books of Zen, Tao the lessons
Koran and the Bible, to me they all vital
And got truth within ’em, gotta read them boys
You just can’t skim ’em, different branches of belief
But one root that stem ’em, but people of the venom try to trim ’em
And use religion as an emblem
When it should be a natural way of life
Who am I or they to say to whom you pray ain’t right
That’s who got you doin right and got you this far
Whether you say “in Jesus name” or Hum do Allah
Long as you know it’s a bein’ that’s supreme to you
You let that show towards others in the things you do
Cuz when the trumpets blowin, 24 elders surround the throne
Only 144,000 gon get home
Only 144,000 gon get home
Only 144,000 gon get it baby

Chorus Cee-Lo:
I’ve lived and I’ve learned
I have taken and I’ve earned
I have laughed, I’ve cried
I have failed and I have tried
Sunshine, pouring rain
found joy through all my pain
I just wanna be happy with being me

Cee-Lo:
Let me voice my concern
So many of my fellow brothers have given themselves a title
That their actions didn’t earn
Our ignorance is in the same breath as our innocence
Subconciously, seeking to find an impressionable mind to convince
I’ve finally come to the realization why Black people in the worse place
Cuz it’s hard to correct yourself when you don’t know
Who you are in the first place
So I try to find the clue in you
But evidently, White folks know more Black history than we do
Why’re we bein’ lied to? I ain’t know our history was purposely hidden
Damn, somethin’ in me wanna know who I am
So I began my search, my journey started in church
It gave my heartache relief when I started to understand belief
Hustlin was like a gift spent my share of time in the streets
Taught me survival from this evil I’m just gonna have to deal with
And I felt like a fool when I tried to learn it in school
It almost seemed like a rehearsal when the only
Science and math are universal
Takin elder advice, read the Bible, the Koran
Searched scrolls from the Hebrew Israelites
Hold on, this ain’t right, Jesus wasn’t White
Some leads were granted with insight
and it’s all in the plan, but it took me some time to overstand
He still created with the imperfection of man
So, with followin’ I disagree
By no means have I forgotten or forgiven what’s been done to me but
I do know the Devil ain’t no White man, the Devil’s a spiritual mind
That’s color blind, there’s evil White folk and evil niggas
You gon surely find there’s no positivity without negativity
But one side you gonna have to choose
Any chance to speak I refuse to misuse
So how can you call yourself God when you let a worldly possession
become an obsession and the way you write your rhymes and
Can’t follow your lesson
If a seed’s sown, you make sure it’s known, you make sure it’s grown
If you God, then save your own, don’t mentally enslave your own
If you God, then save your own, don’t mentally enslave your own
If you God, then save your own, don’t mentally enslave your own

Well, I’ve lived and I’ve learned
I’ve taken and I’ve earned
I have laughed, I have cried
I failed and I have tried
Sunshine, pourin rain
I found joy through my pain
Just wanna be happy…bein me
Bein me

The title of this post is  taken from an old Bob Marley classic.  I am getting a lot of emails from around the world from Scientologists who are on lines; and this song keeps popping into my head when I type my replies.  The more truth that is getting out to the world about what is really going on with Miscavology, it seems the more desperate the crush push for money out of existing public is becoming.  There are missions out in a number of cities that are using coercion and threat to force people to empty retirement savings accounts, get 2nd mortgages on homes and resort to a plethora of unusual and dishonest solutions to pay more money to the Church.

Even the FSO has been turned into a 1,000 man/woman reg machine. Apparently,  no one is immune.   How was ‘the friendliest place on earth’ turned into one of the most dangerous?  First, long-time Captain Debbie Cook was taken out by Miscavige some time ago, put into the prison camp (the Hole, or SP Hall) and replaced by a two decade Registrar veteran, Harvey Jaques. One public told me he recently waited with forty other people  for almost two hours for Harvey to show up  for a “Captain’s briefing” to some select public.   Harvey never showed, because “he was in the middle of a Reg cycle.”

I am posting below the reply I recently sent to a plea for help and advice from an unnamed man in an unnamed city. He lamented how he – a highly trained and high case level individual – cannot continue to submit himself to the degradation of being thrown on a meter and denigrated for not coughing up more money – money demanded for no exchange, no service. Money that he cannot afford to part with for the well being of his family. I am posting this because of the heartfelt descriptions of the moral anguish people have described that they go through while determining to take the plunge and reach out to open a line of communication with me.  Several have stated they tune into this blog, then suppress reaching out because of the consequences to them and their families should they do so. For all you who are watching and listening, but you can’t communicate your concerns, I’m posting this reply to the fellow described, because I was sincere when I wrote that what he described was  “all too typical”.

Reply:

“Thank you very much for sharing this story with me. It is all too typical. What took me so long to act? (speaking out) It took a long time for me to honestly sort out what was right from what was imposed on me as being right.  As far as what you should do – I would suggest holding your position in space – a definition of power. Write up every off policy and out tech move they make on you. If they order you for another squirrel metered “interview” ask for the LRH reference that authorizes that kind of nonsense. And when they don’t produce it – which they cannot – then refuse, using LRH as your authority. Write that up too. Send me copies of what you write up. As your family is recruited to put pressure on you by the org, genuinely communicate with each member – at their reality level of course – how you are acting in an on Source, on policy manner. I try to abide by the Code of Honor – your integrity is more important than your immediate life. When I do what is right my life seems to get more meaningful and I get stronger. I believe it will for you too. Do not compromise with your own reality. Stay strong.”

*Incidentally, I highly recommend Get up, Stand Up; it as if the great Rastaman wrote the song for the times we live in.

Marty,

This started off as a simple “thank you” for the three days we
spent together.  I delayed sending it as things in my world
continue to disentangle and evolve, and in reading your blog,
thought something of more detail may be of interest.

For context, as you know, I fully submersed myself in the
Scientology world, with the help of my family, as a young teen.  I
was in the Sea Org, including Int Management, for something less
than 15 years.   I have been out, covertly, for another 10, having
tried everything to dig myself out of the hole you so aptly
describe on the cover of your blog.  While I had made some
progress, including achieving acceptable financial success and
repair of broken familial relationships, I remained unhappy,
unsatisfied, unable to gain sufficient traction in my life to
achieve what I believe my potential should be.

Like many who came into Scientology at a young age, I arrogantly
believed myself an expert on life, self improvement, the world …
everything that the Church’s culture said I should be an expert on
with Hubbard’s writings, I was.  There were enough truths in
Hubbard’s material that this idea cemented in place and became a
debilitating belief blocking my ability to learn and observe in an
unbiased fashion for decades.  I never knew Hubbard, nor had I even
met him.  I was a product of the culture of his then DMs church
following his death, and there was a massive change in organized
Scientology after Hubbard’s death, not for the better..  I blindly
believed myself an expert, even though I had never studied anything
else, or lived the life “real” people face each day.

My journey to recovery included everything from other self
improvement groups such as Anthony Robbins, hypnosis,
psychotherapy, anti depressants, study of philosophy and
psychology, meditation, eastern spirituality, and all the rest.
While some of these had little real impact, others helped
significantly, especially reading real history.

Interestingly, my greatest advances came from the realization that
psychology and other mental and health professionals were not the
evil the church programs us to believe.  Also that great similarity
exists between some parts of Scientology and psychology, and many
of the other great self improvement books and practices, INCLUDING
THOSE THAT PRE-DATE ALL HUBBARD BOOKS!  There are many good
professionals working with people to improve their lives, employing
dignity and respect greater than I experienced from Scientology in
the final years of my involvement.

More recently I have been working with a counselor, making slow
progress, trying to get myself free from constraints I have
mentally imposed upon myself from, I believe, my Church upbringing
and exposure as a young adult.

The idea of getting your help was as terrifying as it was exciting.
I had not been on an e-meter for over a decade.  The last years of
“auditing” were nothing but brutal and debilitating sec checking
leaving me feeling afraid to act in life for fear of doing bad
things.  They left me in doubt of my own ability, independence,
sanity and integrity.

And, to make things even more interesting, you were one of the last
several auditors/sec checkers I had in the church.  As you know,
our prior encounter was less than pleasant.

Side bar: The obvious question is why on earth would I do a session
with you after having been sec checked or emotionally “beat up” by
you on an e-meter a decade ago?  The answer is simply, despite your
intensity, you did have kindness and compassion.  When you realized
your “orders” regarding me and “briefing” of my character and
intention were not accurate or fair, you tried to make it right,
trying to help me leave in a stronger fashion, you tried to restore
some of my personal dignity.  Yours was one of the few acts of
compassion I experienced from the church at that time, and the ONLY
from a senior management level.

When you and I started talking a few months ago, you did not
remember what happened until I started giving details.  As you
remembered, I saw real pain in your eyes, felt it in your voice.  I
know our conversations were no easier for you than for myself,
perhaps much more difficult.  While words of apology are a good
start, my experiences leave me suspect of easy apologies, your body
language, your tone, your penetrating questions to uncover if there
was anything else you had done to me that hurt me, everything
together left me certain you were genuine.

Something very important to me, which I had not discussed with you,
was I wanted to hear your opinion about Hubbard and all the
different bodies of tech.  That you effectively communicated
agreement and belief in certain aspects and dislike or distrust for
others, and could explain why and how, including the history and
evolution of technical and administrative aspects, together with
your other beliefs and studies … these were essential for me to
trust you as a free thinker and not a “RONbot” or “COBbot”.  I
personally believe the blind reverence for the church as an entity,
DM, and small portions of the tech without being able to cross
reference and put things into context, the absence of critical
thought … these together are much of the cancer in Scientology.

Our prior visit, as you recall, had me refusing to even touch the e-
meter cans.  Recently, when I picked them up, at first, they felt
electric … it was almost physically painful to pick them up.  You
smiled, re-assured me, made me feel safe, offered to burn the work
sheets with me after the session … I knew you were genuine in
wanting to help me personally, including help repair any damage you
left in my world, and do this with the most effective means you
felt possible.

I forgot what auditing was like … having someone sitting with you
that genuinely wants you to improve and overcome personal
challenges.  The last hundreds of hours of “auditing” I had were
brutal sec checks, FPRD, Roll Back, Evil Purp Handlings, and all
the rest.  I forgot how light and easy it was, how safe and calm it
could be.

I was also startled to realize how similar it was to “Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy”, something my psychotherapist educated and
worked with me on.

Understanding and having spent many hours working on “Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy”
I understood the power and value of the e-meter, not as an
interrogation, intimidation, threatening device or lie detector,
but as a tool for a competent counselor in addition to observation
of my body language for finding areas of real emotional or mental
distress.

One of the issues I encountered with my other counseling sessions
was that I would bog down, dozens of thoughts would be floating
around my head randomly, it was slow and painful to dig through
them, identifying the real from imagined issues in my mind.  I had
the same phenomena occur with you in our session, however with you
and your use of the meter, you were able to help guide me in to
identify issues I have been trying to discover for some 9 months, in
just a few hours.

That you were not interested in the number of hours, but rather
supportive of leaving me exploring my realizations, only going back
when I asked, was very satisfying.

I was also satisfied with observing your “model”.  Your audit, exam
and CS as distinctly separate actions.  Your session was, in
“scientology lingo” as standard as the best I encountered at Flag,
and much more productive because fear and threat were not present.

My personal revelations were in the area of incredibly deep
thoughts and feelings questioning my own core goodness and decency,
whether or not I was a good human being.  The knotted ball of
string in my mind is starting to unwind, I don’t know the
consequences, don’t want to jinx them by talking about them openly
until everything has settled, but since leaving your home, have
concluded that I put these thoughts in place as part of the
intentional or unintentional actions of DMs Church putting me and
others in impossible situations that, I am beginning to believe,
were intentionally constructed to break free spirited and thinking
people.

What I will also share on this is that I was diagnosed with Chronic
Fatigue, needing about 12 hours sleep to feel somewhat rested and
alert.  I woke up this morning, without an alarm, after 6 hours,
alert and rested.  I am starting to get more effective, more able
to focus on specific tasks and execute them, though still have a
way to go.

What our auditing covered was serfacs, described in another of your
posts.

While I will never again become the blind drone DMs Church forced
me to become, I recognize and appreciate that there is value and
workability to the technology, opening or rather re-opening my eyes
to tools of value and use to myself and others in building better
lives.

Finally, on you.  I was the third person walking along the beach
with you when you received the now almost infamous and internet
published call from “anonymous”.  I watched your reactions during
and after the call.  I then listened to the call in full through
the link.

While on the surface, the caller was much more calm and polite than
I had thought, there were certain undertones and statements made by
anonymous, perhaps and probably unintentionally, that could not but
create a negative reaction, despite the tone, and perhaps
compounded by the tone.

Frankly, I would get increasingly worked up, replaying this call in
my mind, were it I that received it.  Such response is only human.
The tone of this call is exactly what DMs church would do … a
message other listeners would not consider ominous, but the
recipient couldn’t consider any other way.

I believe the caller had no malice aforethought, especially
hearing him apparently preparing food in the kitchen during the
call, clanking things around, but the caller did not appropriately,
IMHO, consider the effect of the nature and structure of his call
with the context it had to be received.

Marty, you have been a passionate and driven person since I have
known you.  Perhaps now, even more so because you see the truth,
see and feel the harm and pain created by abuses done in the name

of Scientology, and feel a responsibility to try and make things right.

I respect this more than you know, love you for the personal risk you

are taking in trying to make things right.  You have friends, an ever

increasing circle of friends who “got your back”.

To those who care, anonymous or Scientology, I absolutely am
certain that Marty has no intention of, nor ever will return to the
Sea Org or take over Scientology, he loves his life, his wife, his

dog and fishing too much.  He wants to march to the beat of his

own drum, his own integrity, and be able to, in whatever way he

can, make the world a better place, fight injustices where appropriate.

Marty Rathbun is a good person, warts and all.  He is my friend.

I also like and appreciate some of the work of Hubbard, with his
personal issues and all.

None of us are perfect, it seems especially that those who explore
or try tend to make more messes than those who did nothing.  We can
only judge people by actions.

I believe Marty’s are good, especially now.
I believe DM’s are bad, especially now.
I believe Hubbard’s were good, especially in the earlier years,
though perhaps more questionable in the later years, whether from
personal issues, or from deceptive manipulation and manipulative
information fed him by DM.

Your Friend

Reference: comment from “JIM FYDE“ (under “Food For Thought” post of 27 August whose email address is Scilonhunter@———

I am using this fellow’s response to my post titled Food for Thought, in which I offered a quote from a Malcolm X speech for people to reflect on, to demonstrate the reactionary negative I intend to keep of this blog spot as free from as possible.

Scilonhunter did define Scilon for me. It means “Scientologist” or “Scientology”. I did not approve his lengthy follow up post full of justification and puns on Hubbard. I think this post will demonstrate why such taunting belongs somewhere else. And there are plenty places for it out there as sincere folk who have looked for truth about Scientology and the Church can attest.

Scilonhunter apparently did not think as the post suggested. He instead immediately reacted and tried to provoke and invalidate – with super literal and negative misidentification and dishonest context – to attack me, Malcolm X, and LRH.

First, he takes one sentence of the lengthy quote, repeats it, and said this “is the message of Malcolm X.” No, it clearly wasn’t – the entire passage communicated a thought, or I’d have just posted a sentence. Then, he equates that one sentence with “what is true for you” and equates that with the invalidation of “all history.” If Scilonhunter knew anything about history he would know that Malcolm probably studied more history than most of his modern contemporaries. Hubbard probably studied even more than that. His personal library was several hundred square feet full of fifteen foot high book shelves, filled with books that were obviously handled and read. Even uneducated I have read somewhere on the order of a couple hundred books on history in the past four years. Yet, Scilonhunter would have you all believe we all stand for erasing history.

Second, he takes another sentence from the Malcolm X quote equating it with “LRH’s ‘Chaos Merchant’ from ‘Scientology Zero’, then takes another small quotation from Malcolm X out of context and implies he was racist and he and LRH sought to segregate groups of people from the rest of society.

Then Scilonhunter takes a quote from Malcolm made sometime far earlier than the quote I originally provided, and said the earlier quote “seemed to violate his own advice given in the later quote I provided.”

Finally, he brings up the phone call that still unidentified people covertly recorded with me and posted. He pulls out selected quotes and asks me whether my post on the call is “still true for you”. I already posted that after hearing the call it was clear Anonymous UK and I both mischaracterized it.

Scilonhunter then said the call made it appear “you still enjoy claiming to be a victim…”

Which brings us to the more fundamental problem with the anonymous fringe, which I will for now on refer to as OMINOUS, those punks and trolls who are not in this for the purpose of helping people but instead for the juvenile purpose of causing trouble and upset. OMINOUS because it describes the tone of their discourse. Declaring “war” on a religion and stating a group of faceless and nameless people will come after someone if they continue to practice that religion, is fairly well classifiable as OMINOUS.

Note that I used anonymous in the lower case. There are a number of boards where the discourse on Scientology is pretty much all by folks protecting their anonymity. Those who remain anonymous because they are legitimately concerned about pressure, intimidation, and worse from the Church of Scientology have a good reason to remain anonymous. Those who derive some weird sense of empowerment and lack of responsibility that gives them license to upset others with OMINOUS communications for kicks are sick. They are also destructive to the extent their communication concentrates on the studied invalidation of people’s past to the point they consider themselves victims.

I am working in precisely the opposite direction. I spend the better part of my time assisting people to examine their past objectively, rehabilitate that which they got out of Scientology that they thought was of value, leave behind that which they found was negative, and move on with a clean slate and with some level of enhanced dignity. Part of that process includes application of the tech of handling suppression – mainly because most people have some form of direct Church related suppression impinging on their lives in the present. I feel like I’ve done something for the person when he or she no longer acts like a victim. I believe a lot of Church suppression is operable precisely because people act like victims: cowed, intimidated, and hiding.

I have investigated the mafia on the east coast and the Mexican mafia is South Texas. I learned first hand that a great deal of their power derives from what people have heard of them and their defensive reaction to that. Consequently, by mere threats and ominous behavior or communications criminals can lord over people, neighborhoods and cities. Ultimately, I have seen organized criminals scatter like cockroaches when someone – and then others – stands up to them.

Miscavige operates on a personal and institutional level exactly per mafia tech. It is all about intimidation, foreboding stagecrafting, greater numbers arranged for every confrontation, and threats implied and real. Ultimately, I believe Miscavige’s organized crime racket collapses when enough people stand up and are counted – and are showing their faces without fear. When I saw Jeff Hawkins and Steve Hall intimidated physically and mentally into silence at Int, I knew exactly what was going through Miscavige’s head: “they are scared shitless of me and would never come after me, even sometime down the road.” When I now see Jeff and Steve talking calmly and factually about Miscavige’s protection racket to the broad public, I know they are bringing the facade of inimidation down.

Steve and Jeff are not victims. Nor are the other twelve who have spoken out, faces in plain view. If they were, they wouldn’t have had the fortitude to stand and be counted and face evil. They may have felt like victims at one time or another, but by whatever means they rose above it and at are at cause. If Jeff or Steve were convinced they had wasted their entire adult lives because they were stupid and weak enough to be conned by a science fiction writer I don’t think they’d be standing in the light and throwing water on the wicked witch of the west. If they were subjected to the continual reinforcement that they were mere victims of low intelligence that state of mind might have ensued to some extent and maybe they never would have stood up. And we’d back to sophomoric tricks that alienate Scientologists and reinforce Miscavige’s hold on a lot of folk who don’t deserve to be treated the way they are.

I am taking no credit whatsoever for Jeff’s or Steve’s personal struggles to become cause. They both were taking huge, heroic action before I ever touched base with them. They just came to mind by way of example. And by their examples, and the other twelve, dozens more are coming out of the shadows of self-invalidation and contributing in myriad ways to bring the abuses to an end.

I have been told by anonymous people that I am being watched in the event I form a group. Well, I realized I am already part of a group. We don’t have a name. We don’t have titles. We don’t even have meetings or conference calls. We are relatively small, but are growing rapidly. We don’t walk in lock step by any means; each individual has his own understanding and thoughts about Scientology and Hubbard, politics, and life in general. I am referring to a very strong circle of friends who had at least one thing in common that diehard anti-Scientologists will apparently never understand. We all devoted decades of our lives for the sole purpose of helping people. We all did suppressive things along the way. But we also in our minds only did them because we somehow thought by doing them it aligned with the basic purpose we had signed up to attain: to help people. That, no one can ever take away.

When people want to spread venom to make everything about Scientology seems sinister and weird it tends to invalidate what we share. It is sort of like a theme Malcolm X talked about on many different occasions. He explained an operation that was run on black people for hundreds of years in America to make them think everything about Africa was weird, savage and backward. He said once people began to hate the tree, they began to hate the branches and leaves which were in fact themselves. And once that set in they were victims and were easily kept down. His primary purpose was to wake them up from that illusion. That is what we members of the unnamed group do for one another.

My blog site was created to forward that healing process.

The hate messages, the denigrating messages, the invalidative messages so much resemble the standard operating basis of Miscavige it is anti-therapeutic and goes against the purpose of the blog spot. I am not going to subject my friends to this. Anyone is perfectly free to peruse the blog and do whatever they want with the information on it. There are plenty of forums on which you can spit on it, dice it and slice it and invalidate it into the ground. Doesn’t mean everybody has to agree. The discussion that occurred the other day between several Anonymous folks and ex members of the Church who consider themselves real Scientologists was great and is encouraged.

I am sorry I have not answered each of the comments on the Anonymous/Marty controversy individually – but I read them all and considered them all and decided it best to answer in one single post. First, I appreciate all the comments. They made me reflect on what is going on from a number of different perspectives. I never intended to start a blog in the first place.  A friend (a very unlikely one that I did not even consider necessarily even friendly up to that point) seeing what a dog’s breakfast I had made of my original website volunteered to reorganize all my material in a neater format.  Within hours this blog spot was created. I thought the blog feature was great and started using it to impart information that I recognized was not critical for ongoing investigations  the media is pursuing, or might not appear in the media because under pressure from C of S the media requires me to come up with serious corroboration for everything that is printed or broadcast. I also post to create certain effects on a number of ongoing handlings/investigations/rescues, etc.

I recognize my own fault in creating a lot of the warring going on and I apologize for that. I wasn’t really blogging. I was not really reading or listening or thinking people considered I was expected to answer them. That may have helped create perceptions of  arrogance, egoism and abusiveness.

I am not sitting on my hands. I am working on a number of major fronts to end ongoing abuses within DM’s kingdom.  Though few reading this have any real experience that would lead them to believe this, but there is a method to the psychotic lunatic’s madness. Much of it requires I keep information and cards to my chest for now.  That is doubly so since DM seems to think if he knocks me out of the running everything goes away; and however mistaken that notion is,  I am consequently encountering a lot of flak (some of which I’ve made public on the blog).  So, my temper is not always where it ought to be and I am sure that has helped engender some antagonism too.

Because every word I utter is fair game for DA packs and lawyer letters and is exploited to the hilt, I am not inclined to use this forum – where emotion and passion sometimes reign –  for cross examination of me.

But I will say a couple things that might assuage some common concerns. I have no intention of ever going back to the Church of Scientology – in any capacity whatsoever. I believe it has been so thoroughly rotted to the core that it is a lost cause.  Having the benefit of a lot of hindsight, I doubt whether organized religion of any kind is very workable.  I deplore and would never even consider practicing fair game, disconnection, SP declares, RPF and a plethora of other abusive tricks the current C of S practices.

A lot of information (the type that I am continually pressed for and accused of being an unrepentant criminal for allegedly not disclosing) is coming down the pike. It is coming in the forums that it is coming in because I think it is important all actors involved in the conduct should be questioned publicly and have a chance to be heard. I think that having  neutral reporters of facts trained and experienced in judging credibility investigate and impart that information gives it the most authority and longest life and greatest circulation. And ultimately the most effectiveness. It is not an easy process to go through sometimes as Amy, or Tom, or Mike or a number of others would confirm. But it is the best means of ensuring the information will have the most impact on creating changes I believe we all want to see occur.

I have also been criticized for erasing any comments that don’t fit my point of view. That is not exactly true. I generally try not to allow the blog to be bogged down in personal piss fights.  I’ve cancelled a number of  comments by folk who wholehearedly agree with a lot of my views but who scathingly cut down somebody who disagrees. I’ve allowed a number comments critical of me to stand. The ones that are purely uninformed (like the many that name call for alleged omissions that in fact have been covered in posts, the site, or taped interviews available on the net) I lose because they are misleading and unproductive.  There are plenty of boards that encourage that kind of communication.  I consider this an alternative forum for folks who find the other message boards a downer on anything positive they may have taken with them from Scientology.  I don’t think I can make my position on Scientology any clearer than in the 31 Factors, my other web page articles, the SP Times video interviews – and as supplamented above; except to the extent I update as I evolve.  There are quite a few people who generally agree with a lot of those viewpoints and they find this spot useful and re-assuring that others support them.  Many very connections have been made here that are developing into new vectors of pressure to end C of S abuses as well help people move on feeling empowered and re-energized after leaving the C of S.  And a lot of people are willing to look here to begin the education process outside the bubble – people who would or have discounted the anti-Scientology boards after reading a single thread because of the intolerance often communicated.

I continue to encourage people who have a personal beef with me to email me. I have answered everyone who has approached me with civility on specific matters they truly want resolved.