Hemi Benvenisti Returns

After Many years I am back on lines !

To all my friends and acquaintance, hello. Those of you who wondered how come I disappeared from your familiar scene, or why I am not active in the subject which was always important to me and close to my heart: spiritual work and development, here is finally the official explanation. despite the various events, difficulties and twists, it is important for me to state that in the end of the day, this is a happy story and full of hope. The first part, is the story in brief. In the 2nd
part there’s an elaboration and further details on important points for those interested.

The story begins 30 years ago. London UK 1982, where I lived. After years of amateur search for self and for answers to questions of existence, matter and spirit, and after a fascinating journey to South America I came across the book “Dianetics”. In all the preceding years I looked around and asked questions: All that we see and hear around, is that all or there is something beyond these things, some other reality, some additional value? By chance and in an haphazard way, I had one day a huge, far reaching and life transcending spiritual experience. I understood and knew that I was a spiritual being encompassing incredible abilities and depths. And that’s what I was. This experience and transformation were totally relevant, but there was a problem of stability. It was not stable. I didn’t know exactly how it happened and so didn’t control it. The result was that it all started to collapse and disappear gradually, almost all the way back.

Back to the book “Dianetics”, which really impressed me: A. because it was a precise manual on the subject of existence. B. it stated that the essence of the work described in it was to reach stable results, not onetime. Moreover, it described inner work which goes deep and all the way, without compromise. And this was the
difference between it and just another philosophy book. I had to check if this manual worked. I went into the London org and asked to try. I was offered small courses to start with. I insisted on something stronger, deeper; if to try, why not do it seriously? The course HQS was the choice, the one in 1982 was big and
serious. (later it was changed). It had most of the basic principles of Scientology like: How to study, how to coach, communication drills on a good level, demos, tone scale, obnosis, cycle of action, assists, Objectives and more. And of course giving and receiving auditing. A serious and amazing course. Compared to previous studies in ordinary schools, quite differently, the course made clear that every theory studied, had to be drilled and applied until good and clear results were achieved. No more meaningless study of theories without aim. This was an applied philosophy which influences and improves life immediately. And at the end, giving and receiving auditing. Not easy, quite complex, and you had to apply all that you have learned and drilled, but the feeling was fantastic. Life has changed, the world has changed, Scientology works, big time. Anything clearer or simpler? And then a short Dianetics course, first session, everything worked by the book, the PC returned back to a basic Engram in a long chain, complex session, difficult but heroic, PC had the biggest win of her life. A big
load has come off her shoulders, and she said she could easily fly through the window into the sky… Spiritual work Indeed. What is going on here? What is this thing which works so well? And then, still in London 1983, professional TRs course, intensities grow and so are the wins. “The ability to handle anyone by communication alone”, is just one of EPs of the course. And that exactly what happened. Life and ME keep changing.The world turns more into a red carpet under my feet and less a heavy cloud above my head. And there is hope.
Much.

And then Clear attest. Saint Hill, 1990. Hard work, It was not all easy, not a summer camp, I needed to confront things, to advance towards the goal with determination. But this was the struggle for my home, my back yard, my self, and if I did not make order and find out who I was and insist on going free, nobody was going to do it for me! Therefore no matter what happened, as long as I worked on my case and progressed, and did not bother with other nonsense, I accepted all with love, with no complains, buckled down and went on.
And indeed, it was worth it, big time!!! Clear Attest, tears in my eyes…of joy. Wonderful feeling and a new life. Charming Saint Hill, an Org created by Ron Hubbard, turned into an emotional and loved place. My auditor, Mandy, with whom I did an amazing journey, is virtually a Saint. No other definition will fit. This becomes clear again and even emphasized in years to come. Following all this, everything became changed, different. In addition to the lightness and awareness, responsibility level increased a lot and the ability to handle extremely
difficult situations, and get results, was really incredible. Big Success. Anyone who did this knows. In next couple of years I came across, in addition to great joys, also a few very difficult and complex situations. And got through all of them in an unbelievable way: Responsibility, ability, strength, knowledge, positive attitude and
endless optimism.

And then came a part which was not so good. But important to this tale. A big and important action in a big, advanced Org, yes, Saint Hill again. In 1993 I traveled to do my OT 1-3 Levels. I was in an excellent state and everything was flying forward. But then a certain action in the preparation for the OT Levels, did not go so well.  And this is an understatement. So much so, that it caused a fall all the way from the top to the bottom. Not pleasant. Happens, what can you do? The bank is not an easy customer. And bad mistakes were made. The fall was so deep that it has become difficult for me, in future, to do the required thing and return to an AO to fix this. Everything fell apart, including a big part of the previous wins. How was that possible? Not entirely clear. Still, with persistence and dedication, while everything turned much more difficult, I finally completed OTIII. But that previous action and its effects left in me a big, painful and unhandled scar.

Years went by, I summoned up courage and traveled to the most advances Org on the planet (Flag) for 10 days in 1999. The place, so beautiful, raised hope in me. The goal was to move something in my bad situation, which was together with other things a big ARC break, and it was not very difficult to understand it.
In order to handle this situation there is a very clear and simple Policy by Ron. (As will be quoted later). For some reason I was pushed to buy an Intensive. At Flag full price, of course. I was in a delicate state and I did that, hoping it would help. But the time was short, and everyone was very busy there. So I received only 2-3
sessions in one week. The auditor was charming and his smile alone encouraged me, but it was not enough time and not enough sessions, because my problem was very big. And I needed to return home. And the situation was not resolved.

A few more years go by, 2003, and I am invited again to St. Hill, where the trouble began, to do an ARC break handling. I was promised free handling until I would be happy and back on the bridge again. As should be the EP of ARC break handling, according to Ron:

“This is the program that picks up every ARC broken Scientologist or Dianeticist who can be found in the org’s field, and gets them back in ARC with the org and Scientology and returned to their services or signed up for further services. That’s the EP of a rudiments handling – THE PERSON NOW IN ARC WITH THE ORG AND SCIENTOLOGY AND RETURNED TO HIS SERVICES OR SIGNED UP
FOR FURTHER SERVICES.” HCOPL 27 JANUARY1980 issue 2 Rudiments (ARC break) Program. Also: “Factually, by policy an org has no business not having an ARC Break Program in full force keeping its local field cleaned up.” HCOPL 6 MAY 1984 ARC Break program additional data. Too few Scientologists or staff members know these Policy Letters. Ron considered them vital. Ok, so again I summoned up courage and traveled to AO St. Hill, this time for more than 2 weeks. Here we
started with Ethics Officer who was nice and we were doing a good action which determined very clearly that most Ethics actions which were dictated by the Org in 1993 were wrong and arbitrary, contradicted my self integrity and caused a huge invalidation of me.I was happy. Not about what happened in 1993 but about this
discovery and confirmation. Then I continued with auditing. The auditor (Class 9) nice and very good, I am happy with him. But after a few sessions, in the frame of ARC break handling, I was asked to buy more auditing which is quite costly and which I didn’t plan to do. And also contrary to what was promised, because
I did not feel handled yet and back on the bridge. But I was there and there was a good auditor, so I paid, because I did not have any other option, and we continued many more sessions, until the paid hours finished. Interesting situation: I felt better compared to when I arrived, for sure. But after about an intensive
and a half (16-18 hours) I felt that the situation has not been really handled, even though all in all a good job was done. In that stage and by the Org’s conduct, there was nothing more to do because I could not pay any more, and the truth was I didn’t wish too. How much can you pay to fix something which should not have been broken in the first place?

Before I left St. Hill, I was handed the auditing program with which I would have to continue next time, 4-7 Intensives. After completing that program, I would hopefully be back on the bridge, which for me was OT4 and OT5. I returned home. Still not really handled, and in a state of not knowing what to do. I felt that the progress and wins that took place in the last visit were not stable and kind of wasted. May be because it all stopped in mid-action. Or…may be that the level of handling and Tech were ok, but not more than that. And I was not in a good state.

9 more years and we approach present time. In all that time I was not active, did no study and did not receive any service. I didn’t feel I could even just step into an Org. Now you understand why I disappeared, and what was the reason you haven’t seen or heard me. I was fully stuck, like a bone in the throat which cannot move in nor out. On one hand there were all the previous wonderful wins and achievements which I had. One does not forget this kind of things, at least I don’t. And I do not change friends and colleagues like socks for convenient reasons. Never. This is important to know in trying to understand me. But on the other hand there was this thing which cast a dark shadow over those wins, invalidated them and blocked any way to continue. And I did try and I gave handling a chance 2 more times and it did not work! The large picture seen from my
view point was: 10 first years, everything works great, mentally, spiritually. Then, along the next 10 years, although scattered, but including 3 visits to our TOP Orgs, everything is stuck. I spent numerous hours in an attempt to get out of this low state, using all the powerful tools I acquired in many different ways, but all my
attempts did not succeed. Something was missing, something was wrong, not understood. And the result: Dead end. For years.

Ok, so now to the happy part. It’s about time, is it not? 17 years after the “fall” and 9 after last visit to an AO, I started to discover things and reach new understandings about Scientology, about myself, as well as about what I went through and why. What I discovered was very interesting, thought provoking and gave me strength. It seemed that I found the missing data, the missing link. This discovery process was powerful and life changing and I felt this deep inside. (More on this on 2nd part). And so I have decided to try once more to get
back on lines.

Again I summoned up courage, cleared off some time and traveled to an Advanced Org. This time in another place. Smaller but so welcoming and full of Theta. Again I went into a session with a Class 9 auditor and we started to work. The auditor charming beyond words, the atmosphere calm and relaxed both in and out of
session, without any distraction or disturbance. The way it should be. And in the sessions, the feeling and attitude so relaxed, natural and full of light and ARC, that the communication flowed, the processes ran like a clock and Standard Tech celebrated a big celebration. Outstanding. Great joy. Is it possible that the attitude,
atmosphere and approach of this Org, in sessions, but mainly out of the auditing room made the difference, and were the secret? I had no doubt that they were. Big revelation. 4 sessions only, and I was happy, not kind of, but really happy. And the next step: OT4, and I agreed and was ready and willing to continue. Hallelujah, miracle! How the hell this huge trouble got sorted out so fast?? This was unbelievable. I must have found a very standard Tech. I wondered what would have been the plan to do with me with the 4-7 intensives to OT4 of the other program… A good question. Happy end indeed. But not the end yet. Due to a technical issue, to continue I needed to change auditor. I was a bit concerned…but we made the switch gently and off we went with the new lady auditor. And….
wonder of wonders, again the same thing, sessions flowing, atmosphere relaxed, PC In session, and the wins come one after the other. And the work is an incredible team work, like Ron said. And here I am now. in present time, both in this story and in my case. And so I continue with joy on the bridge, after such a long
break…really an exceptional and outstanding win. And I am happy and I wish you all similar wins. I am back on lines, big time, on the way to freedom which I and anybody else deserve!

Of course, it is impossible to end off without giving credit to this enchanting Org which gave me back my faith in Scientology and put me back on my feet. Literally. An Org with charming beings, one by one, a rare atmosphere of peace, calm and Tech. And the only thing that really interests them, is me and what’s good for me. And how to show me in the clearest possible way that I am really right . And how to set me free.

This is DROR CENTER in Haifa under the management of Dani and Tami Lemberger. Dear people, Thetans of a rare kind and true Scientologists. Independent Scientologists! I met many Scientologists in my time, all
around the planet. They don’t come better than this. This is an Org full of praise and certificates of honor, one of the best missions on the planet for many years.

And now it is an AO. the only one in the middle east!! One hour drive from Tel Aviv!!! And it has everything you need, including the ability to perform miracles and handle situations which 2 of the top Orgs on the planet could not for years, or found it very difficult to do. The prices are fair, the service fantastic, professionalism is all around, the smiles fly everywhere and the Tech really standard. This is how you make clears and OTs! And if they call you, you rush to pick up the phone, not run for cover, because your self determinism is important to
them like it is to you and you know they will not bother you against your will, and surely won’t try to enforce anything on you. Because enforcing and spiritual freedom are two opposite things. On top of all this there is  much fun and non stop laughs and spirit of play…all over the place. Hard to believe? Why? So logical and so right. Try and see for yourselves. No other way to know things..I recommend with all my heart! And I think that Ron agrees too and smiles. Why? Here’s Ron:

“Orgs have only 2 major final valuable products. One is well-trained auditors. The other is satisfied pcs….Tech and admin policy exist only to assist making these two products IN VOLUME”

LRH ED 131INT Life repair Block 8 December 1970

Much Love

Hemi Benvenisti
Scientologist since 1982 OTIII on OT IV
Owner of a business, leading in its field. Serving best local and international artists and music institutes and orchestras in Israel. A business with an impeccable reputation and nearly 30 years record of high level ethics and customer service.

** A small remark – If anyone feels uncomfortable reading this letter, (may be even a little fear..) or an irresistible impulse to erase it and pretend he hasn’t read it…please think again, logically, not reactively. This is a happy letter, with a happy ending, written straight from the heart. I think it makes more sense to rejoice
with me and try to understand what it is all about. And if anything is not clear or real, I will be happy to explain and give specific details and examples. Numerous examples. I have described here honestly what occurred with me. As best I can. Those who know me closely know my credibility level. The only things which I covered up so far, or cut their description short, are the negative  details in the story. This, to keep proper reality gradient as much as possible. Anybody wishes more details and elaboration on the above can read “the additional letter” which follows. The wins described here and the end results, are the reasons why I got into Scientology. And I think you too, or most of you. are they not? And another important reason: to help others come out of difficult situations and reach wins and freedom. This is what I try to do here. I understand that there are other people with similar stories, which are not sorted out yet. I want to pass on to them a message of hope. There is always a way!! And anybody goes against this or similar Theta things, or will try somehow to smear this account or turn it into a bad thing, well, that’s a pity. I think Ron, in the PTS/SP materials, explains very nicely and clearly who and what he is, and what he is trying to do.

The additional letter to ” back on lines”, elaboration and doubt formula completion.

1. All the wins described in the letter were meaningful wins which were attained honestly and with hard work. The wonderful drills and applicable knowledge accomplished true changes and enhanced life force.  Constructed wisely, layer after layer, in a gradual way. And stable. Continuity and stability were the name of
the game. After the Clear I had the feeling that almost nothing (negative) could stick to me, or grip me. There was nothing to stick to. My optimism, joy of life and hope, were at a new, stable peak. Not everything was perfect. There were questions, pondering and a strong will to discover and know myself  better and to find out who I really am. But the sum total was great, both mentally and spiritually.

2. So what happened later, why this huge fall? It is not acceptable in the Org and even forbidden to discuss such matters in public. the reason: It is better to correct negative aspects from inside, by turning to the appropriate authorities in the Org. This way it is more effective and done with minimum PR damage to the Org. A good idea in a normal organization, which is managed well and with true and good will by high management. For 17 years I kept silent. Assuming responsibility, care, patience and will to protect the Org. I even introduced more than 10 new people to the subject and getting services.. And I continued to represent Scientology well. Despite difficult situation, mentally and spiritually. Here are additional details to some issues from the 1st letter:

3. In 1993 I went to realize a dream and do OT levels 1-3 in Saint Hill, UK. I was in an excellent state. I studied what was needed, paid what was needed, and a lot. I was positive my postulated worked well my ethics conditions (most) were high and steady and in high stats. My contribution to the Org and Scientology, as determined by the Org itself, was: Excellent. I invested energy, priority, time, knowledge, and I must admit, sense of humor in increasing volumes…
In the Eligibility for the OT levels I received a bad Ethics handling. Totally wrong indications and conditions, long handlings which produced no results, duress, not even minimal duplication of me and low ARC. And most important: the results were bad. In the end of the “handling” I was weak and broken. And then more
and more trouble. All this regarding certain actions that I did before I came to St. Hill which were positive actions under pressure and difficulties, actions which did not cause damage, but had good results for the dynamics and Scientology, that contained in their nature and purpose an OT behavior. As were most of my
actions at that time. These actions were complex and were done under special circumstances. To understand them, an intelligent, conceptual thinking and duplication was necessary. On the other hand, literal robotic thinking would have missed the essence of these actions, their motives and results. The following is a simple example, which has nothing to do with the case, but is presented in order to
demonstrate this idea:
An important rule is that an academy course supervisor has to be on time for roll call. Supervisor A. arrives half an hour late one day. He is sent to Ethics. He explains there that on his way to the Org he witnessed a fatal road accident involving several badly injured people. Being the only witness he stopped immediately, called emergency services and until their arrival gave emergency aid to the injured, bleeding individuals lying on the road. When the ambulances arrived, he was done and hurried to the academy. A “literal-robotic”
Ethics officer has not seen any reference on car accidents in the books. It Says nothing on them. On the other hand it mentions clearly a Sup. being late. He assigns Supervisor A. condition of Treason, takes him off post and starts a long series of actions to get an “Ethics change” in him. An intelligent Ethics officer, after
understanding the event, writes Supervisor A. a warm commendation and gives him a full acknowledgment on fulfilling his duty as a human being and a Scientologist and for possibly saving lives. More over, he realizes what a great Sup the Org has and that the academy couldn’t be in better hands. Extreme example,
but clarifies a point.

A whole group of people, some of which very advanced in Tech and Ethics posts, acted in a stupid, robotic, senseless and suppressive way. Some more, some less. And so I turned over night into a “traitor” who abandoned his duties, who needed a big Ethics change, who did horrible things and more. The fact that all
this was totally contradicting with reality and with the person in front of them, with his indications and his stats? And that all these arbitraries had nothing to do with Scientology, rather more with systems and practices from the dark ages – none of the staff involved could see. Why? This question echoed in me then
as the world around me was crumbling. I tried to decide whether the problem was the local Org people or dictated/enforced from above, by RTC (which supervised all OT levels actions). I didn’t have then enough data to find an answer, and also my deteriorating state made me less and less wise by every passing moment…
And yes, if anyone has any doubt, many times, too many, I considered seriously that I myself am an SP, and that will explain everything.

Here is an R/factor given to me by St. Hill NOTS C/S about my case (14 years later, in 2007…) word by word:

“C/S has studied all the relevant information. What appears to have happened is that on your Eligibility you were handled robotically and unfairly due to non-acknowledgement of your Basic Motivations. In these handlings, your willingness to help in trying to handle the situation is understood and acknowledged. You were not allowed to state your point of view and were made an effect and your beingness as a very helpful and able person was invalidated.”

One Tech terminal, in all 17 years who could see (part of) the truth and give an indication with a pinch of truth. But the important question is: what causes a whole group of people to behave robotically, to be robots? And these were good people, trained, who like to help, intelligent, highly spiritual…and still act like that. The only option is that these kind of things were enforced on them from the outside, from above. The answer to the question how exactly and why this could happen I searched for years and finally found it. More on this later.

The results of the “handling” in 1993 was: a severe, unjust, suppressive and atrocious blow, which crushed me. Against such a blow it was almost impossible to defend because I was sure that I came “home” and I am amongst family. The last thing I could expect was that they will hurt and betray me. Total surprise and
shock, which intensified the effect. Without the previous powers and wins up to Clear I am not sure I would have survived. In the Tape: “Scientology and effective knowledge” Ron says that to lift a person up is so  easy to do, because you have his assistance. But to bring him down is very difficult, you have to work very
hard to make it happen. Says it all.

4. And there I was for years. And I wrote all that happened and made sure it got into my folders and that the C/ses would see it, and all the injustice, and that I was upset with the Org, but still ready to correct the situation and take responsibility for my part , whatever it is, if the Org will take minimal responsibility too. And
nothing happened. I visited twice, separately, two Advanced Orgs to correct and handle. Did not help. So the observation was this: Over a span of 10 years, in 3 different visits to 2 top planetary Orgs, standard Ethics, Tech and Policy were not applied and even badly violated. The result: Suppression, ruined case, distress, and spiritual decline. Here is the list of visits and observations:

A. Saint Hill 1993-94: Non standard distorted Ethics. Robotic and harmful use of Ethics conditions tech. Active suppression of a Scientologist with high record, stats and good will. Violation of moving PCs to OT levels Policy. Active blocking and suppression of PC on the way to the OT levels using pressure, intimidation, coercion.
Use of suppressive “tech” in handling a pre-OT. (example: I was asked by OSA rep. to write a composition on the subject: “What is basically wrong with your personality which caused you to do…” If you don’t believe this one, it’s all in my folders, the demand and the composition. Writing this was a condition before
I can go onto the OT levels.) Senior Tech terminals allowing this kind of horror in violation of KSW. Therefore establishing a reality in which OSA goons rule in place of the Tech. In the above example, OT levels C/S Rosalyn, an experienced old timer, mumbled a few words of concern, but said nothing more and did nothing to stop it. Thus, she cooperated with a horrible and suppressive “process”, on a person on his way to the OT levels.

B. Flag 1999:
Ethics officer in 1st interview, when I told her about the injustice and anger that I have, sends me right away to buy auditing….Violation of Policy regarding ARC break handling (as quoted earlier). I was at Flag for 10 days. In that time no one bothered to understand where I am. Even after paying 8,000 $. And so I returned home after 2 sessions only, not handled, in the same state I arrived in.

C. Saint Hill 2003: Violation of Policy regarding ARC break handling:
Not placing the action through the Chaplain dept, in violation of L.R.H. Policy.
Stopping the action before reaching EP and requesting money to be paid, in violation of L.R.H. Policy. Breaking a promise not to ask for payment until end of handling, and getting it against my personal integrity in time of need and in a delicate state. Sending pre-OT back home after ARC break handling not done to EP in violation of L.R.H. Policy.

As a logical result of all this I lost trust in the Org and its ability to keep KSW.

LRH explained in very clear terms: Policy Letter of 29. 9. 1982, Keeping Scientology Working Series 30, “Misrepresentation of Dianetics and Scientology:”Now and then we hear of ‘somebody’s case messed up.’
Or that someone was complaining or dissatisfied with results. Research into such cases uniformly shows that STANDARD TECH was not applied.When people complain and are “dissatisfied with results”, it will be found that Dianetics and Scientology were NOT being used on them. Someone was doing something
else and called it Dianetics and Scientology.”

It is important for me to state that the vast majority of staff members are good and amazing people, and that They are not the problem. They try their best and mean well.

So after 17 years I finally understood:

5. The Church itself, the way it is led from above, as it turns out, does not bother to correct by its own initiative any damage, injustice or bad mistakes it does which cause ARC breaks. In that it violates badly 2 clear Policy letters. One was mentioned earlier here, the other one: HCOPL 6 MAY 1984 “ARC BREAK
PROGRAM ADDITIONAL DATA.” Ron explains in these 2 simple and clear letters what will happen to any Org which will not actively and with full force engage in correcting and fixing these “on the house.” He is so right. It seems that to someone in upper management these situations are fine, and is causing them too. For years I thought that the problem was with me only, combination of bad luck, mistakes and my case. One can say that as a being I pulled all this to myself. That I need to take responsibility and not throw everything on others. I accept. And I do just that. I paid a heavy price for years, for not doing so earlier. But I stood up, checked, corrected, got back on the bridge! And I am writing this letter now as an act of taking responsibility and putting Ethics in on myself and on the Org. But there is the side and part of the Org too.

The Org’s job is to use the advanced and wise Tech that we have to help people to overcome their case and not to restimulate their bank all at once while breaking every possible rule, and to harm people’s ability to take responsibility and even destroy that ability instead of enhancing it. And then demand that people take
responsibility. An Org has similar rules to beings: It needs to take responsibility while requesting that others do so. In the end, and after many years of sitting quiet, being protective and responsible, and after thorough checking and investigating, I discovered that there are hundreds and even thousands of similar stories to mine, most of them much worse. And worst of all, suppression and restriction of free communication and data interchange, in and out of Orgs, including inner family comm, free internet access and use – cover and
hide these stories instead of taking responsibility and correcting. And this is the real purpose why these restrictions are there. Not to prevent enturbulation. Free communication does not do that. Read Ron. Lack, scarcity and suppression of communication does enturbulate in volumes.

The sad fact is that great fear looms over every Scientologist who dares to see, think or talk freely. “Eternity, the way to spiritual development and freedom exist only in the official Organization”. And nowhere else! and whoever does not obey and conform, will lose that which is most precious of all things. This trap worked on many and very intelligent people too, including yours humbly. Because
Scientology, applied properly does help to reach self and go free.. And so making it a monopoly enables dishonest beings to control and ruin others. And make them fear. Think, how many people you know that are ARC broken, with the Org? And how many of those are in the high levels, or those who used to be so dedicated and that contributed so much for so many years. So many just disappear. And the rest are silent, or justifying, or explaining. Sad.

“there comes a time when silence is betrayal” – Martin Luther King

6. In the beginning of 2011 I googled the word “Scientology” and opened a random result. It opened an unknown page with pictures an quotes of Ron, and other things. After a few short seconds I felt anxiety. It might be a hate site that I am not supposed to see. I closed it immediately with a bit of panic. But there
was nothing bad there in the quick look I had. So I opened again, and I looked with one eye and at an angle and I convinced myself that I was not really looking…now this makes me really laugh. Then it was sad and pathetic. I am sure this is familiar to many. This by the way was the site http://www.friendsoflrh.org/. It was full of love for Ron and the Tech but with
it harsh, learned criticism about current Church management. Accompanied by tens of Rons quotes. I continued to read. It was fascinating and interesting, and not only did not enturbulate me, but opened eyes and caused a number of cognitions. And as happens on the net, I reached more sites. And more, and more
on the subject of Scientology. To my amazement, alongside few sites which were against it all, the majority were by true Scientologists who left. Some of them veterans at the highest case, training and management levels with many years of service. And so, with ever growing astonishment I read and saw people who
believe in Scientology and are totally dedicated to its Tech and Ethics. And who continue to apply and use the presents Ron gave all of us. This list of people grew and expanded every day. And again, the common denominator to most of them was enormous and true appreciation and respect for the Tech and an intense
desire to help others. There were hundreds of OT 8, 7 .5 and other OTs in various levels. There were Class 12 auditors the very elite, class 9 class8 class 6 and the rest. Some of them personally trained by Ron, which made great sense when listening to what they said. All outside the Church but not out of Scientology. Happy, flourishing and prospering. And there were numerous ex-staff and sea org members who served for many years and dedicated their lives to help others. And top executives too. The quality average was outstanding, and the numbers huge. I started considering that there are more outside than inside.

The reaction of the Church to these people and to what they say is shallow, robotic and repeating: “they aremall suppressive and apostates, lawless, criminals and perverts, which were never worth anything. They ruin everything around them and only try to destroy and eradicate Scientology. These claims are accompanied
by caricatures and animation clips of a disgusting and revolting level, which go so low, that that alone points at the tone and ethics level of the body which initiated/created them, The Church of Scientology. Moreover, just the thought that such levels of claims and production can influence intelligent people, removes any doubt about their reasoning level, and creates reversed results. Are we, intelligent people, supposed to believe claims of such level? If hundreds (and more) people who reached highest levels of case, training and management are all criminals and idiots worth nothing, what does it say about Scientology? Sad, because these very claims are ruining and destroying the subject and its reputation. Here’s what does make sense: These many people outside, are the true product of Scientology. some
more some less. Honest, brave and self determined. And transparent. Their accusers are…who exactly?

A very small group for all we know, may be one man. They hide, never specific, always generalize, and think that so many people can be suppressive and enemies. And they give Scientology real bad PR. That picture just makes more sense!

Reading posts and many comments in these sites demonstrated to me clearly the common denominator of these people calling themselves independent Scientologists: they are wise, intelligent, funny, very original, special and truly, self determined. And not a single robot. Happiness!!! Makes you wonder about all the scares, horrible stories about these small groups of perverts and spiritual
haters, wretched, criminal and cruel sex maniacs, as the Church describes them. Again, funny, again, sad. It reminds of dark propaganda used by organizations long forgotten. And so, I read the fascinating letter
of Norwegian OT8 Geir Isene: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/73825672/GeirIseneDoubtCoS.pdf
And the amazing and incredible letter of Luis Garcia, OT8 and a person you understand right away who and what he is, because some things simply speak for themselves. Here:
http://www.scientology-cult.com/images/stories/files/a-letter-from-garcia.pdf And then these sites:

http://possiblyhelpfuladvice.com/
http://www.scientology-cult.com/
https://markrathbun.wordpress.com/
The last in the list here is the site of Marty Rathbun, who was Inspector General RTC, no. 2 in the church after David Miscavige, auditor of highest quality and a person who served as a member of the Sea Org for many years. His site and blog contains a huge quantity of 1st hand information about what goes on inside the church and especially the upper management, all told by witnesses who were there and left, but who continue to apply Scientology in a full and correct way. Independent Scientologists.

On 31.12.2011 Debbie cook, 17 years Captain of Flag, and one of the ex-most senior Scientologists in the world and mostly respected figure, wrote a letter in which she denounced the conduct of the church management and criticizes harshly its way, with the aim to cause change and prevent further deterioration.
Her letter caused a deep shock to many Scientologists. The letter:
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?25797-An-email-from-Debbie-Cook-to-active-Scientologists

Out of all these things, a great cognition materialized. It is not the Church that needs to correct and reform the few lousy and harmful renegades. It’s rather exactly the opposite: the Indies are today the senior in all aspects and they have the responsibility to correct and reform the degenerating Church.

And even a bigger cognition, huge in its importance to all of us:
The whole bridge from bottom to top exists outside the church of Scientology and can be crossed with the Indies! And not just that, but crossed properly, without distortions. And with a natural, smile…straight from the heart!

7. At that point meaningful life changing things started to happen. The understanding of what happened to me and why crystallizes and echoed in me more and more and received numerous confirmations. And of course the best confirmation of all, the one Ron liked most…it worked! Not just worked fine, but Big time!!! I began to undergo a process of De-Ptsing. A gradual but very powerful process of peeling layers of suppression and false and untruthful data, and getting rid of it.

I began to recover and get back to myself. To be myself again. To come out of this unsolved riddle, out of this deep hole. The dynamics started flourishing again and everything started to look brighter and more optimistic. Back to life! No other way to describe it. And wonder of wonders: A strong will again to do spiritual work and find myself. This time with no cheating and no justification. This time everything matches: the people, the system, absence of fanaticism…but full seriousness and
dedication, absence of enforcement but abundance of self determinism. Out of the darkness, into the light!

8. 17 years in a deep hole, mentally and spiritually, and attempts to solve or improve through the church failed. A few weeks of reading and connecting to Indies and the theta they spread, through the net alone, and my world begins to change. 17 years that church invests millions in glittering events, magnificent buildings, endless wars, and cannot handle one soul it hurt rudely.
And on the other side, continuous stream of Theta and truth from the Indies in the coming months, and things moved and progressed. Still without seeing a terminal, without auditing or study (which I needed badly), without, stepping into an Org, without events and without posh buildings. Only de-Ptsing. These last words say it all .

9. Parallel to all this and based on many years observations, I noticed violations of Policy, lies, and many and continuous distortions of truth by the Organization, not connected to me. These many things have been covered perfectly by many posts and articles like: “letter from Garcia”‘ Debbie cook’s letter from beginning of 2012, and of course the many and wise posts by Marty summarized in his challenging book “what is wrong with Scientology”. Fascinating articles or clips by people like Claudio and Renata Lugli, Mike Rinder, Steve Hall, Karen De La Carriere, Mary freeman, Max hauri, David St. Laurence..and many others. All these cover all the violation and suppression better than I could ever do.

What I went through and experienced in the church, compared to what most of those others did, is a walk in the park. My thanks to all these people for helping in the de-Ptsing process. This wonderful process continued for many months, and was for me like an OT level in itself. Because in it I returned to being OT
and a Cause. The essence of these two is: the ability, in the end, to draw a clear line and say who and what you are, and what and who you are not, and not to compromise yourself, and not sell yourself. Because the moment you sell, no matter what price you got, you are an object and not a being, and you belong to someone else. And if anyone needs a demonstration of the great power of suppression, and at the same time of the great power of de-Ptsing – then this letter is mainly about these two forces.

10. Following this I understood that there is nothing more for me in the Official Organization. That as long as it is run this way it is not my Org and I remove my support from it. Moreover, as a responsible being, ethical and with personal integrity, my duty is to expose and fight lies and suppression and distortion of
good tech, and simultaneously promote and support truth, ethics and true tech. And that is what I do here. Well, all this completed for me the 1st 4 points of the Doubt formula. In point 5 I had an unsolved issue.

The 2nd group I examined against the church was “Independent Scientologists”, or “Indies”. This group looked good, right and with many qualities. But concerning real activities and stats in Scientology, I had nothing. I haven’t even met a single Indie face to face. I haven’t received one session or any process from one of its members. It was important to me. If I pass so much criticism on the church I need to check the other side too by the same strict standards, and with the most important element of the subject: results of applying the Tech – auditing.
What’s the level there? Is there real and standard Tech? True, I heard and read numerous rave success stories about auditing with the Indies, but I wanted to check and experience it on myself.

11. The problem: I was like “Robinson Cruso” sitting in a “desert island” (Israel) around me not one Indie I can talk to. And those that were around, scientologists on regular lines, charming people and friends, the moment one sentence of what’s written here comes out, they freak, and attack and send you write overts,
even if many of them agree and understand good part of these things. But they fear and worry and immediately start calculating how much any further discussion is going to cost them…

And this was my postulate: I have to meet Indie people, research, find out, see what they are doing and finally choose a suitable terminal. I have to do that to complete the formula. And of course to see if I have any real hope to get out of my troubles and continue on the Bridge to freedom. This was not simple, I
needed to travel to U.S.A on a long journey, and then do an extensive research… Not simple. especially with limited tech tools after 18 years of being “out”.

12. As it turned out, my renewed OT abilities, after all that De-ptsing, indeed improved markedly. One bright morning in July, I woke up to a new and incredible reality. Not a single sail in the horizon, but a whole damn ARMADA! Not a single Indie, which would have been more than enough, but a complete Org of Independent Scientologists, one hour drive away! Dror Center, managed by Dani and Tami Lemberger and their wonderful partners. A group of veteran scientologists, experienced and with proven ability. I met the whole team, and I was very impressed. I stated my wish to receive auditing according to my state and
case. If there ever was a case of a postulate coming true 10 times over, this is the one. Literally!

But my postulate was not done yet! Continued to materialize in unbelievable way: In front of my eyes, Dror Center, jumps a grade and becomes an Advanced Org! Claudio Lugli, OT 8 and a veteran, senior  Scientologist, arrives from Italy, and together with Marty and the Dror team they complete an incredible
conversion.

Back to auditing, with the Indies: And so the day came, and I got into a session with Claudio. 17 years of suppression “on my head” and numerous mistakes and blows, and me totally rusty. It is not easy for me to do this, even quite frightening. Claudio is afraid of nothing. he, apparently, is a real scientologist. Just does what is needed: Standard Tech, dream TRs, and an ocean of Theta. I am totally shocked. Positively…what a joy, does not look at all like a session, so relaxed and flowing! But it is a session, you bet. With all the rules and the laws and the Tech. And everything is running without any interruption, PC totally in session, entirely interested in his own case and totally willing to talk to the auditor. These are the basics without which even Ron’s amazing processes won’t work properly. How many times Ron emphasize this? And this is the auditing which I get with the Indies, at Dror Center in Haifa, Israel. Exactly what I wanted. And I make a careful note that it is a wonderful and true auditing, the best there is or ever was. 4 sessions, I repeat, 4 sessions, and all the past mess is handled. I am happy. And back on the bridge: Next step is OT4. I accept this datum and am ready to get on my way happily. Why? Because in this Org they do what Ron said: “THE PERSON NOW IN ARC WITH THE ORG AND SCIENTOLOGY AND RETURNED TO SERVICES OR SIGNED UP FOR FURTHER SERVICES.”
And this really helps me with point 5 of doubt formula. To recover back to the bridge a person, not in good state, and after 18 years of absence and suppression, smoothly and effectively, is without any doubt something on which many stat points are due! In the church it did not happen even after tens of hours. Not
to mention tens more hours ahead according to the estimate I got there for all kind of progress programs planned for me there to get me back on the bridge…. Doubt is now complete! All is clear and understood.

13. Comparing to auditing in the church. Interesting to compare auditing in Dror (and other indies) to that in the church. Assuming that quality of auditor and Tech are equal at both (The indies claim that Tech in the church is full of alteration and arbitraries and it is not pure)  Church- PCs have many things imposed on them from above, most arbitraries: how to be, what to do, to what and who to donate to, mandatory event attendance, restriction on free thinking. These puts PCs
under pressure, and anxiety about meeting these standards. So, the environment becomes unsafe!

Dror- Nobody is interested in what you do or how and why. As long as you are winning and progressing. (and not killing or hitting anybody..) Just be yourself.
Church- outside the auditing room there are always people going round and wanting things from you, at times wanting very strongly…donation or that you buy something even if you are not interested, or that you should come to an event (and until you agree will not leave you) or that you join staff or some other
thing, many things which could become nuisance. Which could harm wins after session, or enturbulate.

Dror- There are charming auditing rooms, outside them there is an Org and departments and Academy, but nobody ever bothers you. And all they want after session is that you eat if you are hungry (there is a huge fridge) get refreshed and hop…back to session or study, according to your schedule. No disturbances, no distractions from the 2 main and most important things in Scientology: well trained auditors and satisfied PCs. So that’s what they are doing there. Works great.

Church- There are more potential distractions in the form of Ethics Officers. Ethics is a wonderful thing which can give every person monumental wins. But too many untrained and too robotic Ethics Officers, who do not work with you and for you but for other things, become an harassment and turn the org less safe.

Dror- There are no such harassments. The auditing works, PC is happy and progressing, and you don’t need Ethics just for Ethics sake. And if it is needed, it is done. Short, effective and back to auditing.

Church- Besides payments for services, you are constantly pushed to donate to other purposes. IAS, Ideal Org, Super Power and more. These activities form heavy distraction which suppresses financial ability to pay for the Bridge itself and makes the environment less safe and more threatening. And arousing a
desire to hide all the time…very low on the tone scale!

Very important: despite all the above criticism, the Tech is very strong and deep, that it gives wins even when not done in optimal way. All that is said here does not intend to invalidate any win no matter where it was achieved. I am happy to hear about any win, by any person, in the Church or any other place.

Dror- Services cost money. Of course, like everything in life. The prices are fair, and are paid for services and not for anything else. Nobody runs after you to make you donate to anything. And there is no need to pay fortune for endless Sec-checks. I myself, being in a very fragile state, did not pay a cent for a sec-check.
Not one cent. And without that we handled a devastating ARC break, and then continued on OT4 with dream wins. Without sec-checks. Why? because everything here is standard and correcting itself. And everything is safe and pleasant and spot on. I think that the comparison is clear and explains everything. If you ever come to get services at Dror Center, you will understand too. And So, you will also realize that the great rumor that you heard recently is absolutely true: There is an Ideal Org in Israel…!

14. Doubt formula completed. And a choice between COS and Indies. Because of the importance and weight of the subject, and my utmost respect to it, I took my time, did not hurry and completing this formula took long time. Large parts of it were done with much sadness and a heavy heart. I do not forget the wonderful wins and achievements that organization gave me in the early years. Not forgetting and thanking with all my heart. But what this Organization has become and what it has been doing for many years and up to now, are against anything that I believe in and turned into distortion and suppression of one of the greatest gift Humanity has ever received.

I hereby remove my support from the Church of Scientology and its current
management. At the same time I join the group of Independent Scientologists (Indies) which expands and prospers and applies truly the technology of L.R.H. A group which reinstates Scientology to what it once was, before it got corrupted.

15. To end off in higher tones and great optimism, which always characterized me, even in hard times, here are fresh news, straight from the oven….full of happiness and inspiration: A few days ago I completed and attested to OT4 at Dror Center in Haifa!!! I did this incredible OT level with Tami Lemberger the senior auditor at Dror and the best and most incredible auditor Imaginable. And I am really happy. We did a lot of hard work on that level, it was not a walk in the park. But I discovered a new and very fascinating world. And I progressed and did a few important giant steps! And there were many more wins all along the road. And there was another wonderful thing: The team-work of the auditor and me in the auditing was extraordinary, and I am moved again every time I recall it. Need any better recommendation for Dror AO in Haifa? And everything worked as I describe in point 13 here. The whole Organization and area around safe and distraction free. The auditing room safe and charming. Outside the room no distractions or
disturbances of any kind. Only people smiling, real, encouraging smiles. in the session the auditor very experienced and very able. Full of ARC and Theta. And here enters Ron’s Tech and does its wonders with no interference. After session there is examiner, yes, as should be. And above the auditor there is a C/S,
as should be. And above him there is senior C/S. And after the session there is a kitchen and a place to eat, and around, charming people who do not disturb and do not ask for donations and do not threaten and do not enforce. Just naturally nice. Any more than that necessary? Any more than that possible? Glittering events? I never liked exaggerated splendor, heavy make up, tons of glib written speeches and too few words from the heart. Magnificent buildings worth millions? Fine, if there is extra money. Dror Center is not like that. But it is clean, pleasant, aesthetic, functional, air conditioned and plenty parking. I do not think that a magnificent building instead of this would have contributed anything slightly significant to the effective and great processes that I did there. Food for thought. One more secret, mainly to Israelis, but not just: this AO is just round the corner.

Thanks with all my heart: To Tami and Dani Lemberger. Amazing team. I wrote here about Tami. She stretched a brave hand and pulled me back to life. I am speechless. Dani, a giant of a man, most gifted manager and creator, without him and his care his Theta and his vision none of that would have happened.
Warm thanks to Claudio and Renata Lugli, who came specially from Italy and contributed so much. Incredible and brave people. And Claudio, first auditor after years of darkness, who made it crystal clear in a most fantastic way that I was…RIGHT! Thanks to Marty, who was and is an endless source of help and inspiration on numerous planes. Without him too, I doubt if all this would have happened. As far as I am concerned he stands firm by his word to help in healing Scientologists and Scientology. Thanks to all staff members of Dror: Aviv, Dima, Carmela, Moti, SHahar, Eyal, Eitan, Vika and Galit. To Tsipi who supports all the time. Thanks to all the Indies that I mentioned here and those that left out. You all helped enormously. And last, thanks to anyone to whom all this is new, especially here in Israel, that had the courage to read to the end. For any question or request, I am at your service. And to anybody who would like to check for himself but is afraid, I have to say this: Personal Integrity is something without which, in the end, there is nothing.

And to reach Personal Integrity it takes sometimes courage. And courage has sometimes quite a price. Me, not very courageous by nature, and after many fears, I finally summoned courage. And it did have a price, but that price turned very quickly into a great reward: Happiness.

Hemi Benvenisti, OT IV
Starting OT5!