1984: The Severe Reality Adjustment

(ref: earlier post: Reverse (Black) Dianetics – Scientology’s 1984)

Miscavige takes a great deal of pride in having created what has become an accepted term of Scientology nomenclature behind the Wall.  It is called the SRA, or Severe Reality Adjustment. An SRA entails getting into a person’s face, screaming a reality at the top of one’s lungs with such force that the recipient goes into overwhelm and accepts the enforced reality. Should the recipient show the slightest disagreement or even puzzlement over the reality being imparted, it is expected that the SRAer use physical force to finish the job. Quite similar to the many lectures wherein LRH describes implant technology.

Miscavige recently promised to “annihilate” the credibility of folks imparting truths about Miscavige’s history that are apparently unpalatable to Miscavige.

The above facts are quite interesting in the light of the following passage from George Orwell’s 1984:

“If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened — that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death.

“The Party said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia. He, Winston Smith, knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four years ago. But where did that knowledge exist?  Only in his own consciousness, which in any case must soon be annihilated. And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed — if all records told the same tale — then the lie passed into history and became truth. ‘Who controls the past,’ ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.’ And yet the past, though of its nature alterable, never had been altered. Whatever was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting. It was quite simple. All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory. ‘Reality control,’ they called it; in Newspeak, ‘doublethink.’

“‘Stand easy!’ barked the instructress, a little more genially.Winston sank his arms to his sides and slowly refilled his lungs with air. His mind slid away into the labyrinthine world of doublethink.  To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which canceled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy, to forget, whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself — that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word ‘doublethink’ involved the use of doublethink.”

Wake up!

73 responses to “1984: The Severe Reality Adjustment

  1. Pingback: Twitted by LOLScientology

  2. LRH predicted that scientology could become a george orwell 1984 type-situation in the 1952 PDC lecture “formative state of scientology” (i think the title is). If you know how to free, working out how to trap is as simple as reversing that.

    Scientology was never intended to trap.

  3. I reread 1984 this year and was struck by how savagely similar are aspects of the dark side of the CoS.

    This post needs some backing music. I’m reminded of Muse’s Uprising, from “The Resistance”. (Which also contains a song called “United States of Eurasia”, as it happens. http://ununitedeurasia.muse.mu/

    They will not force us
    They will stop degrading us
    They will not control us
    We will be victorious


  4. That’s great Marty.

    I’d also like to add these passages as well because they seem to be Miscavige’s operating maxims or as we call the ser facs:

    Besides, the Party was in the right. It must be so; how could the immortal, collective brain be mistaken? By what external standard could you check its judgements? Sanity was statistical. It was merely a question of learning to think as they thought. Only!

    The pencil felt thick and awkward in his fingers. He began to write down the thoughts that came into his head. He wrote first in large clumsy capitals:


    Then almost without a pause he wrote beneath it:


    But then there came a sort of check. His mind, as though shying away from something, seemed unable to concentrate. He knew that he knew what came next, but for the moment he could not recall it. When he did recall it, it was only by consciously reasoning out what it must be: it did not come of its own accord. He wrote:


  5. Hi Marty

    Are you related to Ronnie Rathbun, who used to be the baker on Flag? I knew him and the rest of the crew in the mid-70s: Miscavige, Rinder, Mithoff, Broeker, Mayo, Armstrong, Erlich et al. I was in the SO for 8 years, left with my wife and kids in 1981, set up the AAC Scotland in 1983 and got the NOTs materials from AODK!

    I admire what you’re doing, although I think you and Mike should have bailed out long ago. I’d like to bring a few points to your attention:

    (1) Scientology is the most effective technology on the planet for spiritual freedom – despite what Anonymous think. Actually it’s very similar to the red pill, because it does get you out of the Matrix. My only reservation is that I think that the OT levels are crap, utter nonsense. But all the tech and admin up to and including Clear is most excellent.

    (2) My biggest disappointment since leaving the Church has been that the former Scientologists have completely failed to coalesce into an effective organisation outside the Church. Which means that most of them have given up on their original goals and purposes, or have been bought off by the Church, or have re-invented themselves and edited Scientology out of their life history.

    (3) I see the Sea Org as a failed mission. LRH was a religious genius, but with serious character flaws. His ego got in the way, of course, and his greatest failure was in his succession, allowing the organisation to fall into the hands of the poison dwarf.

    (4) The best outcome that we can possibly hope for in our current predicament is that the management of Scientology International is taken over by a group of intelligent, sane, well-intentioned people, who turn it into the causative organisation we all once believed it could be. The mission to Clear the Planet is still a valid, star-high goal – what chance we could still achieve it, despite everything?

    Warmest regards,

    Robin Scott
    New Zealand

  6. OK, DM is a psychotic madman screaming at others.
    You can meet those people every day in a city driving
    subway. In the 80ies and from then on all scientology
    circled around and around handling evil staff and public.
    Sec checking, RPF, Ethics aso.
    You know what evil really can be?
    My parents went through WW2. My father had to join Waffen SS with
    17. Survived going to Russia. My mother lived in Berlin
    with all that bombing. Having to see bodies ripped apart
    in explosions. As a youg girl. And then being raped by
    Solders after the war. That is evil!
    If someone screams we all go into terror fear or what?

  7. martyrathbun09

    IMHO, what you have related is all the more reason for you to take a break from the Kool Aid IV.

  8. martyrathbun09

    Nice selection Heather

  9. NOTE: Applied Scholastics schools have Orwell’s 1984 on their reading list. I know, because my 15 year old (Scientology dad) read it last year as part of her checksheet.

    All her friends on MySpace have that book listed as one of their recently read books. They’re all Scientology kids, going to Delphi Oregon and other A.S. schools.

    Wonder why that is….

    “You think that, if you call imprisonment true freedom, people will be attracted to the prison. And the worst of it is, you’re quite right.”
    – Aldous Huxley

  10. martyrathbun09

    No relation to Ronnie. Who are we to judge character flaws? And to what end? All I know – from personal observation – was that my experience in the SO was enjoyable and was leading toward the star high goal you mentioned, until Miscavige and Broker succeeded in holding the Old Man hostage for the last five years of his life. It has been on a dwindling spiral since, and it is accelerating. Don’t read OT powers, or anything admirable into DM, there. LRH had real enemies and he had taken a strong shellacking for decades leading to a very precarious situation by the time the early eighties rolled around and he hit his seventies. DM and Broker were opportunists – and DM still is – to the ne plus ultra.

  11. I’m always suspicious of “they vs. we” worldviews, regardless of who hold them. This can lead to unpleasant surprise.

  12. Robin:

    I’m going to have to majorly disagree with you here.

    >(2) My biggest disappointment since leaving >the Church has been that the former >Scientologists have completely failed to >coalesce into an effective organisation outside >the Church.

    You label as “failure” what most of the ex-C of $ Scientologists would call “success”!

    Most of the Scientology protestant movement would seem to decided that a tiered organization with centralized control/management is neither needed or wanted, after their experiences with C of $.

    They have chosen, instead, a decentralized social networking model, that whilst anarchical, cannot ever be “taken over” by sinister forces.

    Furthermore, you apparently have some sort of “hidden standard” as to what constitutes “effective”. As far as I am concerned, the only thing that matters is that people around the world are getting trained and processed in ever increasing numbers.

    From everything I’ve seen so far, the Independent Scientology (no TM) field is far outstripping the official C of $ in terms of Tech Delivery.

    >Which means that most of them have given up >on their original goals and purposes, or have >been bought off by the Church, or have re->invented themselves and edited Scientology >out of their life history.

    Which means that these folks don’t conform to your hidden standard of what they should be doing and choose instead the Freedom that Scientology (no TM) was meant for all along.

    Michael A. Hobson

  13. Meh, typo.. “surprise” => “surprises”

  14. We’re like the rebels in star wars to the empire’s dark side of the force. I guess non-cooperation is a srart, but even Gandhi and MLK were proactive as you are now – you’re just doing it through the new technology of modern times. Bravo Marty we’re behind you.

  15. ” My only reservation is that I think that the OT levels are crap, utter nonsense. But all the tech and admin up to and including Clear is most excellent.”

    You are entitled to your opinion. However I note that your training level is only Class IV.

    “I see the Sea Org as a failed mission. LRH was a religious genius, but with serious character flaws. His ego got in the way, of course, and his greatest failure was in his succession, allowing the organisation to fall into the hands of the poison dwarf.”

    The introduction of the Sea Org brought the greatest period of expansion in Scientology in its history during the late ’60’s that carried over into the mid ’80’s. By stats alone it was successful.

    Also there was never such a thing as “succession” in Scientology. This is a completely false datum that has been perpetrated by Miscavige and his dwindling supporters.

    I suggest you read HCOPL 4 Jan 66 LRH Relationships to Orgs.

  16. Dear Mr. Rathbun,

    Thank you so much for your courage and your willingness to deliver an effective blow, despite personal danger -my wife keeps telling me: “this guy really does his conditions”-. We both would sign it. Slowly but constantly I’m dptsing. I’ve been lurking on the net since 10 years but this didn’t stop me to be on lines and helping the church,as it still can create some theta from time to time. I never saw it as solution to dismantle the church or to create new groups out of Arc, but never I found a solution. I’m reading Will Durants “Cultural History of Mankind” (about 30 Books) to find out what’s going on in the COS is nothing new; it happened times over times with other Religions. When the Church started to become crazy in 1981/82 I used to discuss it with a fellow staff and we compared it to Communism; but believed in the tech and that we shall overcame, as just some people act crazy and that tech will handle it finally, but it never occured, my friend is now in the SO, more then 50 years old (looks like 70), he made a fast career in the S.O., CMO etc…and now he is after having done the RPF and working on a minor job in the Sea-Org just an idiot telling about fantastic wins after 100 of hours on false purpose rundown on all dynamics but nowhere on the bridge and not able to communicate. I have a deep loss and I’ crying for him. How could that happen ? He was so brilliant and able to change lifes with the tech.
    I started in Scientology as a fifteen year old youngster, 35 years ago after having read FOT and I had this big Dream as LRH found the Solutions to our own entrapment. What a joy this was, what a freedom I experienced and what big hopes I had, you can’t imagine. When the management became crazy, my solution was to do the OT-Levels, it didn’t help so I was for 25 years invalidating myself and my own observations, but your writing and this of geir are such a validation of my own integrity and observations that now i believe a little more in myself and there is slowly some hope about my own dreams. What I know for sure, Scientology will never disappear from this Planet, the Olman has done his Job, the tech is here and as history proves good ideas will finally win, its just a matter of time (centuries) that scientology will be a standard in sciences but I don’t know in what form that will be. So thank you for what you do and are. Care about youself !
    I have met many powerful people in the COS and allways supported them, but each one of them suddenly dissapeared, declared sp, blown or having had a agenda of their own and just pffff…all the adventure, the great production, everything just dissapeared. So please do not let that happen to you. You give hope and I’ll hope you don’t change your mind.

  17. Mike

    You’re most welcome to disagree with me; but you give me no idea of your own background, so it is hard for me to respond on the appropriate reality level. For example, I don’t know if you were a Sea Org member. If you were, then you would know that LRH’s vision of Command Intention was a highly disciplined, elite organisation capable of achieving its mission to Clear the Planet.

    I was one of the founder members of the Independent Scientology movement, along with David Mayo, Jon Atack and others in 1983, when it took real courage. I personally obtained the NOTs materials from Copenhagen, and was awarded a ceremonial sword by Captain Bill Robertson for my success.

    I would love to believe you when you claim that ‘people around the world are getting trained and processed in ever increasing numbers’. But all I observe is an ineffectual dispersal. You state that ‘the Independent Scientology field is far outstripping the official C of S in terms of tech delivery’; but where are the facts to back this up? Otherwise your statistics are as delusional as the Church’s!

    Meanwhile, the planet slides into chaos and oblivion.

    With kind regards, Robin

  18. Marty (honestly)

    To Lo above: First of all, let me tell you, Marty aint about to “change his mind”. If you haven’t already, you should see the video http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2009/reports/project/rathbun.shtml/ A man who was that close to DM for that many years and knows him well has got balls of solid platinum to do that interview. And on a personal note, I have rarely seen such humanity radiate from anyone than shines though on that video. On the matter of what to do now, he has told me several times, just getting educated and helping others do the same is valuable, and supporting others in a similar position helps Marty, Thoughtful, Jason and the other stellar individuals who have had the courage to put themselves out there, “despite personal danger” (never has that phrase been more appropriate!). Everyone should read ALL the content on http://www.scientology-cult.com site, then re-read it; it is quite remarkable, thoroughly researched and a fantastic de-ptsing tool to Scns whether still on lines, wavering, or leaving Miscaviges Mad Mad world like me. I was in the SO 5 years and the internal mental turmoil that you describe as the truth starts dawning, LO, will be very real to a lot of people. It could be a long process, maybe months, probably years; one thing I have noticed with almost all ex-SO is that it takes a lot of “de-compressing”, and no doubt you will fly up and down the tone scale along the way. You joined the SO like so many others because you know you are good, you know there is plenty of value in the tech, and the “let’s take on the world” message is very very seductive. You want to believe so much that you are doing the right thing, you start compromising your integrity a little to “excuse” what you see and are made to do in the SO. You are told repeatedly by DM and his hardcore staff that the C of S IS scientology (it SOOOOO isn’t) and so you start believing statements like “We are the only hope mankind has”, and on it goes. Your integrity and values slip further and further but it’s somehow ok because it is for the “greatest good”. Is this sounding a little familiar? It’s a really tough confront, not least because you may now think you were “Wrong”. But in actuality you, me and so many others have been betrayed in the most heinous way possible. By taking a being’s basic urge to help and perverting it in this way is a betrayal of trust of the most sinister kind. So you weren’t wrong, the current C of S self-appointed leader is the “wrong” one here. The many thousands of decent well-meaning staff and public who have fallen foul of this monstrous tyrant’s actions are the ones to consider now. At least you and I are restoring self-determinism, many are not yet. So no, I don’t think Marty is going anywhere yet – but spare a thought for his poor wife who probably isn’t seeing too much of him at the moment!

  19. martyrathbun09

    You haven’t responded to my question to you about your qualifications (or any of ours) to judge LRH’s character. Yet, you are now demanding folk follow his supposed command intention. The earlier movement that you state had so much courage was up against a bunch of kids – I was one of them. The reason you lost was that you all decided to generalize your attack on Scientology and LRH to ride the wave the government was then sponsoring. Your “movement” was also heavily money motivated. In fact, Mayo wound up selling out for a nice chunk of change and an agreed upon gag order. We are a different breed of cat.

  20. Mike,
    What I took from Robin’s posting on one major point was that there can be a phenomenon of ‘failed purpose’ among former SO/staff.

    I understand what he’s referring to in those heady days from the SO’s inception up to the mid-80s. There was a purpose, a star high goal.

    I’m with him on that, and I’ve not lost that purpose, though I’m now a declared persona non grata of DM’s.

    Robin, this is a long term game. That’s the area of the OT materials you’ve negated.

    Not to get into this too deeply but it seems that if you are cool up to the CC level, then I’m sure you and I, and others around, can sort out the rest. Following my own Code of Honor, never to abandon a group to which I’ve given my allegiance and which I knew was valid in its goals and still do, I’d say we’re on our way to rehabbing those goals for many.

    I think Mike’s right as well, there are more and more people getting on with it, despite DM and bypassing that broken line. I’m sure one of them and I’m on those materials you’ve dismissed. I’ll say this; they are everything and more than I ever thought they’d be.

    In any case, with the two viewpoints here, and now mine, I’d say we’re all moving on up a little higher and that’s the aim of the blog.

    Reach out and validate your friends, you are both mine so thanks for your work so far.

  21. Marty

    I gave LRH eight of the best years of my life, and then some; I believe I’m perfectly entitled to judge his character, as we all do. In fact, on the whole, I still have a very high opinion of LRH – but I don’t subscribe to the view that he was perfect in every way.

    I’m not demanding that folk follow his command intention; but I am interested in where does Scientology go from here, if anywhere.

    Nor do I accept that there is now a different Independent Scientology movement. It’s merely been a question of comm lag – some of us ‘got it’ sooner than others. We won, and your departure is evidence of our ultimate victory – everything that’s happening now is because of what we did twenty five years ago. We were the first; you are very late on the chain. I can assure you that it had nothing to do with any government. Jesse Prince at least had the decency to apologise to me; you still appear to be stuck in justification and make wrong.

    As for money motivation, well, you seem to be as much an opportunist as Miscavige. The credibility problem that you and Mike Rinder have is that you stayed in for the last twenty years and committed astonishing overts; now you bail out, when it’s clear that your side has lost, rats from a sinking ship. You are indeed a different breed of cat; but don’t imagine for a moment that you are superior. What both you and Mike Rinder lack, in my honest opinion, is intelligence and integrity.

    I was interested to see where you’re at; now I know.

    Good luck, Robin

    PS: Publish that, if you dare!

  22. Jane,
    I’d say that is because in the long run, the Scientology cat is out of the bag. The remedy was issued so the weapon has a counter.

    In all the oupoints brought up recently, which point to a major departure from the ideal scene unquestionably, there are also many pluspoints. The above you mention are some without question.

    Thanks ‘Scientology Dad’!

  23. I was punk kid too back then who worked with the “Squirrel Busters”.

    The fact that the ACC was a squirrel group was no big deal, so what there were still quite a few back then like Avatar, EST, Amprinistics, Dianology and remnants of the Process.

    What the ACC did back then that none of these other groups did was openly attack and try to sow dissent within the Scientology organization by espionage, infiltration and theft of documents and materials, including the NOTs materials that Mayo claims to be sole author of (I mean if he supposedly wrote them then why steal them? Couldn’t he have constructed them from memory?) plus other Advanced Levels. Not only that but his fun group that used to have cute little barbecues up in Santa Barbara stole Emeters and packs from Scientology student auditors. You know guys and girls studying the tech back then on a shoe string budget.

    So they weren’t just drawing ire from RTC but practically the whole student body at ASHO and LA Org! Not to mention Pre OTs at AO who were subjected to enhanced security restrictions.

    In fact they had such a bad rep at PAC we started calling them the “Advanced Analytical Attenuation Center”.

    Man if Miscavige needed a friend (an external enemy to draw attention from him) the AAC was it!

  24. Pingback: Addressing what Robin Scott Wrote « The Freedom of Imagination

  25. martyrathbun09

    I might have apologized had you not stormed in like DM, acting like Source, or Source’s psych. You never even attempted to address two facts I stated: a) your guru sold out and rode into the sunset, and b) you all attacked LRH and the subject. There are only two weapons in DM’s arsenal – a) intimidation, and b) money. You all were effect of both of them. We are not. I witnessed DM’s personal attorney invite Rinder to name his figure. I saw him tell her to tell her boss to take his money and shove it. I’m not hearing any more natter about him. Good bye Robin.

  26. Hi Marty and Robin,

    The 80’s were a time of great trauma for scientologists, and it’s easy to point the finger of blame at someone else (for what didn’t go right), whether that’s LRH, the government, higher level sea org members or David Mayo. It’s harder to take responsibility. Thanks for the efforts in which you did and are doing so.

  27. As-Is

    Thanks for your kindly and pan-determined contribution to this debate – greatly appreciated, my friend.


  28. Robin,
    Do me a favor, me personally, by all means, continue communication. What I see this blog and others like those linked are doing is running out the 3D engrams we all experienced.

    Take yours and what occurred. While you were on one end of the ’emergency’, I and guys like Marty were on the other. We ALL went through the engram.

    Open, free comm about it will run it out, not just for us but the rest of the group that experienced it.

    I’ll say one thing to you directly, and I’ve no interest in your ‘character’ or any flaws, but this is sincere: you seemed to have obviated the strangle hold on the tech that DM was about to try and achieve and was well on his way to doing so. There are materials ‘out here’ and that is thanks to you in a very significant way.

    I’m all for letting the ‘fur fly’ while this gets sorted out. But for all of us that have come this far, more comm, not less, will get us to our next levels of attainment.

    Besides, I’m Spartacus 🙂

  29. Dear Marty

    Let’s start again in a new unit of time, my friend. Firstly, I withdraw my unkind and critical remarks about you and Mike Rinder, with my apologies. Although you and I have never met, I knew Mike many years ago at Flag, and always thought he was a really decent person – I’m sure he still is.

    It is ironic that we argue about who won – the truth is that we have both lost. We have both lost the organisation we served, the game we loved to play, many of the friends we made and the joy of winning at the highest level. No-one has gained – except the lawyers – from the last twenty five years of bitter division and hatred.

    So, right now in present time, where does that leave us? My overwhelming thought, for many years now, has been a sense of incredible waste. Thousands of former Scientologists and Sea Org members – many of them with a wealth of training, auditing and administrative experience – have been cast out of the organisation, or left of their own accord in despair.

    If only all of these valuable people could be brought back into the Church, what an extraordinary renaissance that would be – what an incredible resurgence of theta and organisational expansion that would herald! But how could we possibly achieve that? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure; but I wonder if you and I could enter into a dialogue with others towards that purpose here on your site.

    My ideal scene would be to remove David Miscavige from post and replace him with a Committee for the Reform of the Church of Scientology, with the aim of restoring the orgs to the high-ARC safe environments they are supposed to be. What an amazing revitalisation of purposes could be achieved if we all worked on this together!

    This will take money, and lawyers – although your recent revelations about Miscavige’s criminal assaults may help to speed this process. But our main purpose, it seems to me, would be to recover all of the assets of the Church and to place them back under the control of the members, who paid for them. In this way, we could work together towards creating a Church of Scientology we could all believe in, as we always hoped it would be, and the Sea Org could once again become the causative and ethical management organisation it once was.

    Perhaps you would be good enough to start a fresh discussion topic on your site. If we all treat each other with courtesy and respect, who knows what we could achieve? Are we sufficiently OT to create this effect? Do we have what it takes to make this go right? The supreme test!

    I’m already thinking of hosting an international conference next year on this subject in East Grinstead, where I have good comm lines, having grown up nearby. But I believe you could be very instrumental in forwarding this purpose here on your most excellent site.

    Warmest regards, Robin

  30. Dear Robin, Marty and the others involved in this debate,

    I’ve three things to say:

    a) Probably the 3d engram we went through left many of us with a lot of BPC. TA is going up now (debates, fur flying, etc) but it is a good indicator rather than a bad one: we are discussing and we understand that we have things to sort out. I believe that eventually, if we continue the Truth Rd process (exposing the truth of what REALLY went on), these will also disappear. We are all in the same boat: we all had a big desire to help and we all ended up declared, expelled, wronged, betrayed. Some of us are more trained, some less. Some have made more mistakes, some less. Who cares? The truth will be a correct indication for ALL of us.

    b) Even though I recognize LRH was a genius in many aspects, I personally believe he was also a man like all of us. He too (like me, you and the majority of planet earth) had personal flaws. He too sometime went out ethics or pts (ref Individuation Tape on the SHSBC) and he too, when subjected to a lot of entheta would make mistakes. If this is not one of our paradigms, I am afraid we will again end up with the idea of LRH being like a god and IMO this will not help.
    How could you explain then the 1981/82 LRH advices where it is obvious he was a little bit mad, pissed off and speaking in generalities: “All businessmen are out ethics”; “Mission Holders squirrel at the drop of a quarter” aren’t those generalizations? And BTW these are direct quotation from the advices.

    I believe then that we have to strike for a broader understanding of what went on and part of this has to include that LRH, even though a great man, a genius in research, probably made also some mistakes. How could you explain otherwise that he, who wrote SOS, did not see that DM was below 2.0 on the tone scale?

    c) Lets discuss, fight, debate but for God’s sake lets not forget the most important thing:

    We are all in the same boat: freezoners, ex executives, ex SO, ex staff, public on lines, sp declared’s, ex aac’s, osa people watching the blog. We all have been helped by the tech, we all had/have a big desire to help and we all came to the conclusion that something is wrong.

    The cause of our upset is not Robin, it’s not Marty, it’s not Rinder, it’s not Mayo. These are the effects and not the cause.

    Lets continue the RD and get the truth exposed.

    BTW: I have to thank you all. I got so much right indication and rehabilitation by reading here in past few days.

    So thank you Marty, thank you Robin, thank you anonymous, thank you all.

    Best Paolo

  31. Paolo,
    I’m with you on your post and what is happening on running these 3D engrams. It’s the persistence on a given course of many that are bringing these things up and they will run out. They ARE running out and our wits are clearing on the subject: what happened. From there, we’re back onto the future and it’s looking better all the time to me.

    On LRH and his oft referred to ‘flaws’. I’ve studied the Tech Vols, from end to end, the OEC vols, end to end, and studied who knows how many tapes. I’m on the Upper Levels of auditing. I’ve worn many hats in the SO and out. In all that I’ve never had trouble differentiating the being that moved L. Ron Hubbard around and the work that is the philosophic grounding and the body of technology of application of those basics.

    The Third Dynamic Tech issue of 11 April 70, covers the policy of the group and that is was an incomplete body of work in one lifetime. It requires the same skill and ‘think with it’ that early Dianetics did.

    I’ve never expected LRH to be a perfect man, whatever that is, so having no hidden standard, I’ve not been disappointed. On the contrary, what he did in his work, as distinct from what he did on a Saturday afternoon, is what has made it possible for me to attain the greatest personal spiritual awareness and certainty I’ve ever attained. I can help others with certainty which is even better.

    T Paine pointed out an incredibly insightful datum on his recent article on the Mechanisms of Miscavige: the test no one can pass. That is, a complete absence of outpoints. If they did, I think this universe would have long since passed into as-isness.

    I’m personally heartened by all the pluspoints showing up in all who have been through the crucible of the past decades.

    I’m looking forward to the days ahead when we as a movement of beings aligned on the purposes we embraced in Scientology will push ahead and indeed get some more Tone Arm action for this culture and our fellows.

  32. Robin,
    I’ve got a different view of the past decades. I’ve been through the most diffucult times and confronted the most restimulating experiences and in all of that, thanks to the being LRH, had a principle to help me get past them to heights I’ve only dreamed of before: the theta-MEST theory.

    With that, I’ve been able to confront all that has gone on with the certainty that I’ve been chaotically impinging and withdrawing with more knowledge won.

    All that you mention of this, the experience and the hard work of many, is not lost.

    It is gained.

    Look at it this way, we’re licking our wounds, exposing them to the air and cleansing them out. The first postulates take precedence over the second, the first postulates were positive.

    Your description of those first postulates and recognition of them will go a long way to as-ising the alterations and lies that followed.

    Again, what we experienced isn’t loss, it is gain.

    The game ain’t over I’d say.

  33. martyrathbun09

    Robin, Thanks for your eloquent piece. I apologize. I recognize that I have a button on being condescended to. Comes with twenty-two years of getting it morning, noon, and night – then making a prime postulate never to take it again, from anyone. I also can be fiercely loyal. And, regardless of the Church’s PR line about Mike and I being enemies, DM can’t conceive of the strength of quiet bonds that are forged by people enduring continuous oppression. Mike is quietly contributing to the cause in invaluable ways.
    I agree with your concerns. I truly do not know what the ultimate answer is. Quite a lot depends on DM’s reaction to Ethics Program Number One – nickname for what I am engaged in right now. I am working on some ethics gradients intended to de-pts public and staff who really are PTS to this fellow and the organizations he has created. There are increasing numbers of folks now assisting. On what we are doing collectively, Paolo put it well, like the Truth Rundown (as originally intended, not as practiced in the Church) or group engram running as canceled by DM. Ultimately, I intend to get the entire story out – but with enough context that it might help salvage the subject and philosophy from the annihilation DM is leading it toward. The Church’s reaction to the first couple of truth doses has lead me to believe two things: a) DM is incapable of thinking beyond his own survival and power and will do all in his power to bring the Church down with him, b) He has such a stranglehold on Sea Org staff (you must read T. Paine’s latest lengthy piece at Scientology-Cult.com to fully appreciate how that has been accomplished) they are willing to sacrifice LRH to preserve DM.
    Right now, I am carrying on with the Ethics program. My stable datum is that truth is the only thing that will set any of us free. You don’t have to solve how the shop stays open when the shop owner has converted the shop into a mafia racket. You gotta de-fang the Kingpin (interesting he’s dubbed me that) to end the reign of terror (oh yeah – he accused me of that too).
    I listen and am evolving. Right now, I carry on with the strong reality that DM has so thoroughly implemented Reverse Dianetics within, that a person with good TRs and Metering (which is unachievable in the Church) and a strong understanding of the fundamentals, applying the grade chart as LRH pretty much laid out, could audit people to Clear (in a safe environment, with no bizarre financial and ethics pressures) and those resultant Clears would be fifty times more OT than any “OT” the church produces under the DM regime. My reality is that I am doing that right now; and I believe we all are capable of it.
    Please excuse my reticance in discussing publicly at this time what ultimately to do about organization. DM is so obsessed with the false notion I want his job he analyzes and twists every word I utter on the subject and puts them out of context into D/A packs, lawyer letters and publications – and uses those in attempts at silencing me and scuttling Ethics Program Number One. I must stay focused. I encourage you all to discuss it on the blog, because I am interested in the views of people who care. I also know there are people out there watching, listening, studying and thinking who are a lot more capable at organization than I am. I’ll pipe in with facts and views if I perceive somenone is barking up the wrong tree.
    Ultimately, I have faith it will work itself out as long as enough of us are de-PTS’d, rehabbed and winning individually. Remember that Dianetics and Scientology were built on the foundation of one breakthrough discovery = Function monitors Structure.

  34. martyrathbun09

    I have a new nickname for you Paolo, the Italian Oracle.
    definition of oracle:
    2.a. A person considered to be a source of wise counsel or prophetic opinions.
    – the Free Dictionary

  35. Dear All, It just so happens that I am planning a new website or an expansion of http://www.scientology-cult.com to include a forum just for this… or possibly a series of detailed polls with comments whereby individuals can contribute their ideas and opinions on the subject of a massive Scientology reformation: from its current level of hostility, depravity and domination, back to a subject that is true to its roots and original ideals. Please give me your thoughts…

  36. Pingback: Let’s Reverse the Reverse Scientology « The Freedom of Imagination

  37. …And considerations are senior to mechanics.

  38. I am confused. Marty (honestly) is not Marty Rathbun?

  39. Paolo Facchinetti, by any chance?

    Warmest regards, Robin

  40. martyrathbun09

    Different Marty

  41. Absolutely right, Thoughtful, and thank you very much indeed for your excellent suggestion.

    I believe that Marty and Mike have given us the chance to remove Miscavige, and allow the good guys to take back the running of the Church. The word you use: REFORMATION is the right item. Please see my post below proposing a Committee for the Reform of the Church of Scientology. It would be admirable if you could set up a new website or expansion of your existing one, to provide the necessary forum to move this forward, my friend.


  42. Jim

    Thanks again for this, and your earlier very kind remarks about my contribution over the years – really appreciated, my friend. I greatly admire the very positive interpretation you put on things – that’s an extremely high-toned approach, mate.

    This is a long-term game, no doubt. My wife and I signed up for a billion years, and we intend to keep to that commitment, definitely. We will return time and time again to this game, as it evolves.

    So let’s assume that this is indeed a win-win situation and that events have conspired to bring us all together at this stage to move things forward in the direction of our dreams.

    By the way, was it you that said you were married to Annie Broeker – or am I confusing you with someone else?

    All the very best, Robin

  43. Thank you, Marty, for this generous and gracious response, my friend.

    I’m more than confident that we can all work together, and elated by this recent turn of events, which I find exhilarating and exciting. It’s a return to action, from my perspective!! Please pass on my very best wishes to Mike, by the way.

    I appreciate that you already have programmes in place, which you may not feel able to discuss in an open forum. I wish you luck with those; please let me know if I can assist in any way, mate.

    For my part, I feel I can be entirely candid about my plans. I think Miscavige should certainly worry about your taking his job. If I was the Chairman of the Committee for the Reform of the Church of Scientology, I would immediately propose you and Mike to go in and take over, no problem, since you’re both fully familiar with recent events.

    In order to achieve that. we will need to follow due legal process through the Courts, no worries. The Church is currently run by a criminal executive who must be reined in, that’s obvious. To engineer a change of management, we will need funding, and I will work on that behind the scenes. Once we get properly set up, we can solicit donations from wealthy supporters – to be repaid from Church funds once the Committee takes over.

    However far out that may sound, I consider that it’s eminently realistic; we just need to use basic admin tech in getting ourselves organised. Simple as, mate!

    Miscavige should be forced to resign and make a full confession; otherwise, send him to prison on criminal charges – he really won’t like that! For everyone else, a full Amnesty, I would suggest. Then on with the show!

    Love & Respect, Robin

  44. Robin,
    I was just considering how simple it is when comm lines are opened and let flow, to resolve the ridges. Imagine, over two decades of ridge majorly removed in a few free communications.

    I’m with you on the billion. As a free being to boot. Something conspired to bring us together on a common purpose, loosely organized and full of the vigor we’ve had all along. It sure is a positive so maybe we’ve tapped into that full on theta that flows from men like LRH, Malcolm X, Thomas Paine, and artists, writers, painters when they open it up and the all of the finest there is.

    Yes, I was married to Annie Broeker (nee Tidman). She’s at the Int Base. Quiet so far and likely in DM’s daily worries.

    I hope she’s holding up. I’m doing better than ever.

  45. martyrathbun09

    Robin, Thanks for your kind consideration. However, even if we were inclined – which we are not – it was not LRH’s intention for any one or two individuals to run the Church. His estate planning which resulted in the formation of CSI, RTC, and CST never intended for there to be a dictator – benevolent or otherwise. It is all in the IRS exemption record which is available to the public. Further, Annie Tidman Broker Logan (who was the only person continuously with LRH for the last five years of his life – day in and day out) told me to my face when I intercepted her from re-uniting with Jim (apologies again to both Jim and Annie) at the Boston airport, that LRH was very explicit to her about that intention. He wanted checks and balances. And if you study the governing documents of the aforementioned corporations that is precisely what it was supposed to be (a result of his estate planning). That leads to another curiosity in the sworn declaration of Russ Bellin. He omits what post he was on between 2000 and 2006, which was CO CST and President of same, but swears that “from 2001-2006, I was in daily written communication with Mr. Miscavige sending him a 5-6 page report every day and receiving a written reply from him every day as well. During this time period I had over 17,500 pages of direct correspondence with Mr. Miscavige. Also during this time period I personally attended over 600 meeting with Mr. Miscavige that included other International Executives.” Miscavige regularly used to joke after ripping the CO/Pres CST a new orifice, “can you believe that punk is my senior? (laugh)” And to think, he’s trying to paint me as anti LRH to the public. Twisted man.

  46. Robin and all,
    I can corroborate the intention as expressed to me by Annie, that LRH wanted via his estate planning, the org board set up when he left, and the various checks and balances in place, to be maintained.

    He told her explicitly that one reason for what he set up was to counter any ONE person taking control of the whole operation.

    We’ve all witnessed just that. We’ve all witnessed the result. We’ve witnessed the insiduous and destructive power of reverse Scientology.

    It’s a fact, just as I was finding out and tracing back to the source what was going on at Int, and when Annie and I were resolving her situation and what DM had done to remove her from her LRH appointed post, the heat came on and he forced us apart.

    I don’t think he predicted then, Marty and I and others would resolve what Annie and I started to see.

    I don’t think he predicted that Scientology works. It does. Here we are, back, facing this madman head on. With hard won knowledge that we are applying to him and we’ll apply to the next time some SP attempts to steal Scientology for his own twisted evil purposes.

    p.s. Marty, as you and I have talked about, I think Annie is right where she wants to be at this time. Regardless of time and space and any other thing interposed, I have nothing in my heart but the love I’ve always had for her. She knows and I’ll tell her again when I see her next. You have already apologised completely but thank you again.

  47. 2 thoughts:

    For the sake of running out the 3d engram, whatever happened to Broeker? Any chance that he’ll tell his story someday? I don’t understand what leverage Miscavige must have had on him. It seemed that Broeker held all the cards.

    This may be odd, but I always felt LRH was the conduit for the tech. I think truth found a path through him. Kind of like a receiver receives the station but is not the real source of the program. I think he (the man) came to believe he was the real source. And unfortunately, the receiver had some gremlins.

  48. Jim

    When the stops come off, communication is a wondrous thing, my friend! ‘Assume the Power.’ Miscavige was quite right about that. Now we have to assume the power – our turn.

    I’m particularly reminded of when the Founding Fathers of the US declared Independence and wrote the Constitution. Sometimes a bunch of guys have to stand up and sort things out. This man Miscavige is a bloody nuisance; we have to get rid of him, and now! He’s causing too much fucking grief to too many people; this is beyond a joke.

    I knew Annie when she was Annie Rush, and Charlie and I were peons on the F/RPF together. She is a very key player in this drama; she knows everything. Is she Nancy Tidman’s sister? What news of her too?

    You know what I got out of Scientology: the total certainty that I am an immortal spiritual being.

    I just got an email from my old mate Martin Ruston, very much part of the Copenhagen operation – noticed me on this site. He’s in bloody New Zealand, for God’s sake! So the Reconnection commences!!

    I’m looking forward to meeting up with you guys – feel free to come and visit us here in New Zealand. It’s beautiful on the farm just now, early spring. Calves and lambs, with kids still to come! You might be interested in my websites: http://www.fortressnewzealand.com and http://www.lifetech.org.nz. Feel free to contact my personal email.

    Love & Peace, Robin

  49. Thoughtful,
    This isn’t really a forum but a blog commentary feature. However, there are already many forums: the alt.religion.scientology newsgroup for hardcore critics, alt.clearing.technology for techies, Emma’s ex-Scientology forum, the ex-Scientology kids forum, the Operation Clambake message board, and the discussion board at Why We Protest. Plus some more in other languages.

    Emma’s board is probably the one that’s closest to what you have in mind. Nobody has time to pursue all the existing fora as it is, so why dilute things any further? Consider just reposting some material on Emma’s board, and sending people over to take a look and comment.

  50. To the Gent who asked for my email address, it is sthtexlensman@aol.com. I tried writing to you through your company link two days ago but no response.

  51. A question for Jim (if it’s ok to elaborate);
    If LRH’s intentions re checks and balances were communicated to Annie (and Pat – I assume), why did she not go public at the time that Miscavige was making his moves? Seems that the bulk of Scientologists would have believed her. She had the credibility.

  52. Anoni Mouse,
    Well, if you read up on the experiences of those who went through this guy, there are several ‘whys’ on this and each person would have their own.

    As to the initial illegal post removal of Annie by DM, that had to do with Annie’s own ethics ‘blind spot’ at that time. Look up the Gang of Five’s report on scientology-cult.com and you’ll see mention of Dede , the CO CMOI, being removed illegally by DM. Well, Annie particiapated in that. She later cognited on her getting her motivator.

    The other factor is that DM and his reverse Scientology is pretty insidious. He sounded ‘legit’ at that time in a lot of ways. This was the late 80s and the stats were still going up from what momentum occurred before him and from actual Scientology being applied. As he took over more and more, it was a sort of ‘flow power to power’ as per the policy Responsibility of Leaders, the so-called ‘Simon Bolivar’ policy. I think a number of persons thought he was a real power and so they went with it. Later to be disabused. Some sooner.

    As to her going ‘public’ at that time. Well, who was an SO member, at the top of the org board, at that time going to go ‘public’ to?

    She was also ‘handled’ by DM in his inimitable style. Read, pounded mentally.

    It was in the early 90’s that she started to get her feet back on the ground and when she was doing well, he pounced again. After that she spent two full years in isolation being given reverse Scientology.

    I can’t speak really for Annie at this point so keep that in mind when I give you my personal viewpoint from what I saw and what we talked about.

    Also, it may just be that she has plans of her own and is carrying them out. That may not include a ‘public’ statement, rather a patient waiting. In the East, it is the long game, not ‘strike a hard blow’ as is the Western custom. She’s pretty clever after all.

  53. Robin,
    Yes, she was married to Charlie. He and I played drums together in the Gold Musicians. I love that guy dearly.

    Nancy is her sister. Last time I heard she was still married to Pat Carrasco with a gaggle of bairns. They routed out of the SO back at the FLB in the early 80s.

    I know exactly what you mean about lines going back in. This is communication at a ‘distance’ that is, with no distance and at a wavelength that cuts through MEST like it was the nothing it is down at the quantum, consideration that it’s ‘solid’ level.

    It’s amazing to behold.

    I may take you up on New Zealand. Are you near any trout streams? I’m a flyfisherman and I hear you have legendary Rainbow trout.

    In any case, it looks like it’s a whole new day and I’m sure we’ll see one another at some point in what’s to come.

    I’ve seen your site but briefly. I’ll go through it when I get a chance. It looks cool as hell.


  54. Robin,
    Oh yeah, Davey has to go. ASAP. Outta there. Gonzo. Bye-bye. Nice try.

  55. Marty

    It does you great credit that you decline my suggestion that you and Mike should take over from Miscavige. Of course, a system of checks and balances is infinitely preferable. But there are some live issues around the formation of CSI, RTC and CST:

    When I spent four weeks in prison in Copenhagen in 1984 for taking the NOTs materials, we commissioned a report from a handwriting expert, who testified in an affidavit that LRH’s signatures on the relevant documents were forgeries, and that they had most likely been forged by the notary public who witnessed them: David Miscavige. Moreover, the documents transferring the copyright of LRH materials were also supposedly forged.

    While I hear what you and Jim are saying about Annie’s statement that LRH wanted that arrangement, I think we would need to review this at some stage. The possibility exists that it was really Miscavige, acting on the advice of his lawyers, who fraudulently created that structure – and clearly to his own advantage ever since. At a time when LRH was old and vulnerable, Miscavige had cleverly manoeuvred himself into a situation where he alone could issue documents, allegedly signed by LRH and conveniently witnessed by himself!

    Warmest regards, Robin

  56. Jim,
    Thank you very much for helping fill in the gaps.
    It sure feels like this thing is approaching critical mass. Hopefully Annie will emerge soon and tell her side. There was a post on ESMB not long ago that mentioned that there had been some comm with Pat. Dunno if anything came off of that.
    I had the displeasure to see DM in action at the Mission Holders meeting. Gang bang sec checks, paranoia, wrong targets and squirreling galore. The sooner the vermin is gone, the better for both those in and those out. If you apply Scientology to current Scientology, it is so obvious that he is the who.
    Also, thanks for the link.

  57. Thanks, Jim – we’ve never met, but I like you already!

    Charlie was certainly always a lovable guy; and I always really got on with Nancy – such a zany sense of humour – glad to hear she got out early.

    There are supposed to be trout in the river that runs by our place; but I’m not a fisherman – yet!

    Please let me have your private email address, so we can discuss personal stuff off-site.

    Warmest regards, Robin

  58. Anoni Mouse

    I totally agree with your second paragraph, and couldn’t have put it better myself.

    Both LRH and Miscavige assumed the power for themselves, and it has consumed them, just like the ring-bearers in the Lord of the Rings.

    ‘Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.’

    Warmest regards, Robin

  59. I agree with you Jim.


  60. Marty, you’re too kind to me. If I am “the italian oracle”, then from my viewpoint, you are the IG. Because I feel you are actually wearing that hat .

    To Robin: I’m not Paolo Facchinetti.

    Anyway, haven’t you all noticed that the more the truth is getting out, the more “people who were fallen off lines” are coming back? Isn’t it amazing? They all come here saying “Hey, if you guys get this straight, I am willing to help, to volunteer, even to donate money…”.

    No glossy magazines sent to CF. No ARC X tours, no major events, no “new releases that will turn around the planet”, no regging… just ARC and the truth getting out and more and more beings who were offlines are connecting up and “reporting back” asking “How can I help?”.

    This ARC, this truth, this granting of beingness, this desire of helping others is the fabric of our scientology subject and that, in reality, is the true force of what we are doing here.

    Not even 1 cent spent on promo. A lot of recoveries. Amazing.


  61. This is an interesting post. Now please re-read it and consider this versus LRH’s autobiography and his unauthorized biography.

  62. Pingback: Imagine God « The Freedom of Imagination

  63. Robin,
    Email me at momrath65@yahoo.com.

    We’ll gyre and gimble at the wabe.

  64. Hi Marty, Those is strong words…please elaborate on your accusation about Pat Broeker. It’s causing a stir of sorts. I, for one, have always felt that Pat & Annie were the best thing for the particular man that Hubbard was always known to be, especially as he aged and as his body began to fail. I always thought that Pat and Annie got railroaded by DM . I don’t think I am alone in saying that Pat seemed like a good person, just not cut out for dueling with Miscavige, the heartless. I don’t see him as an opportunist. Perhaps you have some specific information that could substantiate your calling that claim and your saying that he, along with DM, held Hubbard hostage. Did you see this or is this what someone tell you? I ask because it just does not ring as fact and without something to back it up, it comes off as… well… weird.

  65. (There’s another Jane on the blog now so #1 means it’s me)

    Hi Jim !

    I think I know what you were saying in your response to my post, but would you mind clarifying it for me ?

    Thank you much.

  66. Paolo

    Thanks for explaining that you’re not Paolo Facchinetti, who visited us at the AAC in Scotland in 1984, by the way.

    However, I must validate you for your most theta and encouraging comments in your post, my friend. I heartily endorse your observations; I think there is a tremendous resurgence occurring, and Marty deserves a great deal of credit for this.

    There is no power in the universe like theta communication.

    Love, Robin

  67. Jane #1,
    If you are the Jane that posted about your 15 year old reading 1984 then here’s what I hope clarifies what I commented.

    Your daughter has this book on her curriculum which is a good thing. We’re discussing the fact that DM redacted a section of the PDCs referring to this scenario described by Orwell. While he may have done that, on your daughter’s reading list is the text LRH is referring to in the excised section.

    The point I’m suggesting is that try as he might, DM can’t excise enough materials to prevent us from getting truth. It’s all over the place.

    LRH released these tapes in the 50s and enough people have the full version to provide the remedy to DM’s or anyone else’s use of Black Dianetics, reverse Scientology.

    One key aspect to Dianetics and Scientology is the ‘truth revealed’ aspect. That means that these subjects don’t obfuscate the truth, and they themselves don’t ‘run in’ a new lie. They themselves will handle any thing they themselves restimulate in a person as they go up the Bridge. They ‘run themselves out’.

    In all the outpoints and departures being observed now, there are also pluspoints, and that your daughter is reading Orwell, on a course in an Applied Scholastics curriculum school, is one of those pluspoints. Try as he might, DM can’t suppress the truth. It’s too late.

    On the other hand, let me know if after he gets his report on this blog, you find the course no longer has 1984 on it 🙂

  68. Jim,

    Yes, I am that Jane. Thank you for the post.

    What you clarified is what I thought, but your additional thoughts bring up such a valid point:
    The very ‘materials’ that are being taught in order to persuade minds to buy the party line, are the materials that give someone the technology to be free of the party line / mind control. Take what is being attempted to be done to you with a sinister intention and turn it around and use it to your advantage, to a win. Maybe that’s what this is all about, eh?

    Love it, love it, love it !

    As far as 1984 being removed from their check sheets now that I’ve posted this and called attention to it? That is exactly what I thought as well after this went up… let the games begin ! I’ll let you know. 🙂

  69. Jane,
    Glad this is clarified. Also, on what you bring up newly, yes!!!!

    It is a fact, the ultimate saving grace, that with all DM’s actions to release the Basics for example, while stating that nobody up to his saving of the tech, (even from LRH apparently) and release of the Basics, he’s releasing the answer to his very own suppression. Duh.

    Man is basically good after all, even this clinker, and he’s not only electing his executioners, he’s hatting them on how to do it.

    I’m very curious if he gets around to taking 1984 off the checksheet. Wouldn’t that be hilarious 🙂

  70. Oops, in my enthusiasm I missed part of a sentence. It should say in the post above to Jane, ‘while stating nobody up to his saving of the tech…could have possibly known the tech..’

    Damn this blog for making me enthusiastic about all sorts of things!!!!!

  71. OTV working on Doubt

    Wow! I’m giving you all a standing ovation! Cheers, hugs & kisses to all of you. You make me proud to be a Scientologist. I’m sending you all lots of love & admiration. D

  72. Dear Marty (honestly),

    You were so kind to give answer to my comment. As I understand you are not Mr. Rathbun, but another Marty. Right ? First I was a little bit confused that you gave such a long answer to my comment and a little bit glib about it. Why is he telling me all that stuff I allready know ? Then i talked to my wife and I told her that I wrote to Mr. Rathbun, she went into an instant loss telling me i would destroy our family by having done that, as by her next routing in to AOSH she has to answer to the added questions on the Pts check (have you paid all your taxes ?, are you in disagreement with DM or management ? etc…)and will not lie and so be routed to ethics, but not be willing to compromise but telling what she thinks and so be thrown out and then our whole family gonna be in trouble etc…..I had an instant heavy influenca and I Had 2 days to recover with constant dreams about being a coward. Many past experiences of 35 years went through my head about compromises, inval of my own reality and saying yes to nonsenses. Little bit of a hell. I confronted this stuff and I’m recovering my own integrity and my ability to think and act selfdetermined. It’s a joy !

    Have a nice day !


  73. I’ve been playing catch-up with your blog, Marty, and finally got to this page. One of the very best, and very enlightening. Thanks to all who participated!

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