The Phases – the various stages of PTSness

  A message to everyone who is under the radar

 by Tiziano Lugli

Right about now I am in transit from TEXAS, where I spent an amazing week with Marty and Mosey. My wife just finished OTV and started her steps to audit herself on Solo NOTs. Marty and myself (like many others) have been philosophizing for a while on what needs to be done, our objectives and the general situation with Scientology, LRH, DM, OSA, people half-IN and half-OUT, all legal actions, investigations, and everything that goes with it.

Now, thanks to Marty, Scientology-Cult, L’Inipendologo in Italy, BBC, ABC, SP Times, Anonymous, the various Doubt formulas of OT8s, ex SOs, the stories of each and every one of us…etc, the TRUTH is OUT. It is obvious, undisputable, and its availability to obnosis is of such a degree that even a blind man can see it.

When a person gets to this point he asks himself…”and now? What do I do?”

Questions, computations, postulates, intentions, counter-intentions, games conditions, get out, stay hidden, under the radar, PTSness, SP declared, my parents, my friends, my children, my social life, my clients, my job, my life!!!

Where do we begin, but mostly, where do we end?

The PHASES are multiple. But what is the correct thing to do? How do you judge which action is the right one. Well, I had to go through it myself, and was privileged enough to observe dozens upon dozens of people going through all of these phases. And beside the fact that everyone of these phases can have its righteous reasons, let’s have a look at what the most common phase I’ve observed out there to be:

–       I can’t take it anymore. Too many doubts, too much suppression, too much regging, too expensive, too much out-tech.

–       An email comes in, and I…click! I start to look, I find websites, I can’t believe what I’m looking at!!! But I keep on looking, and I really believe everything now, because it makes all the sense in the world. Through the mountains of “data” I continue reading.

–       I feel a bit missed withholdy, but oddly enough the more I read the more I free myself of masses I didn’t even know I had. The key-out is tremendous.

–       Wow, now I’m fully briefed on the REAL history of Scientology.

–       Thanks to all the testimonies, all of my doubts about the subject are completely GONE.

–       Huge blow-downs, I’m pissed now – I’m about to break something – wait, what do I do now? Oh, but I’m not alone, there’s many others, damn, it’s thousands of us!!! Wait, let me think about what would be the best thing to do now. Let’s blog a little bit and get a closer feel for it.

–       Gee…how can I do it? My parents, relatives, and son are in. I’m gonna lose everyone if I say anything. Maybe I’m just gonna try a little natter, here and there, and see if anyone hooks to it. Worse comes to worst, I’ll just get a fat KR, which at this time could be pretty useful as toilet paper, if it wasn’t for the shit already contained in it.

–       But my job is based a lot on Scientologists’ connections, if I come out in the open, I’m in deep shit.

–       Wait, wait, let me keep going like this a little bit longer. Let me comment on various blogs, trying to natter a little more and see who else thinks the same way I do. Holy shit! It’s thousands upon thousands by now…In every continent, the same stories.

–       I stall for a bit. A few weeks pass, and maybe months. I slowly detach myself a little bit more from the scene. I don’t go to the Org for a while, I just hope they don’t come busting my balls for some fucking reg cycles.

–       Wait a minute, this is outrageous! Somebody will do something to change all this. Maybe from the inside, we’ll get a rebellion, or the CIA, or the FBI, the Police or the Government…Mike or Marty…or God, maybe RON comes back (a little too late) and along with Jesus, Buddha and Harry Potter they will defeat DM.

–       Time flies…and nothing changes. But the situation in the Orgs worsens, and people that just left the INT base tell even more atrocious stories. But I’m personally much better now. I’m kinda of an outsider now. I mean, I’m still fucking pissed, I threw away $15,000 last year for the IAS and $5,000 for the Idle Orgs. I was OTIII and it now seems that I wasn’t even Clear. I don’t know a damn thing about my case anymore. But what do you want me to do? I certainly am not gonna make it my life’s mission. I threw away so much time already. Anyway, let me just comment on the blog, maybe I’ll catch an old buddy of mine that came out, so we can have a good ole laugh…and life goes on.

Let me tell you, this is the most common phase I’ve encountered of those “under the radar”. And excuse me if I don’t go much more around this wheel, but this is exactly the product of Reverse-Scientology and the propaganda of fear that has been created during decades of illegal mafia-like tactics.


If after a lifetime of raising your kids, you’d realize that your son was on heroin, and has been on it for years, what would you do? Would you act like nothing’s happening for a bit? Would you google heroin for a bit, and study its effects and testimony of people that were doing it for months and months, while he is slowly shooting his arms and brain out? Then maybe would you talk to his friends, but a little afraid to be found out? Found out that you have already found out? And maybe one day, because you’re afraid you’d lose your son, he asks you for some money…and you give them to him???

Or you knock it off, and say “THAT’S IT”!

The ones inside, the ones that are auditing on VII with arbitraries that have infiltrated every action of the bridge, who are redoing everything for the second or third time, who are donating to the biggest crime organization on earth – the IAS, or throwing money away for those empty cathedrals with state of the art screens that are playing everyday to no audience, aka, Idle Orgs. These, we won’t call them PTS, these have already swapped terminals and are almost in the valence of the SP.

But YOU…you who knows. You that you know what you know…do you still wanna be PTS to this entire situation?

There are the ones that wake up slowly, on a gradient scale, and those that wake up with a cold shower. Some only wake up, and then, they don’t grow up. Now it’s time to really wake up, grow up and grow a few!

To me, not coming out and not doing something to stop all of this mess, overtly and NOT covertly, equals only:

–       tacitly accepting things for what they are (PTS)

–       let the Org’s Kool-Aid drinkers know that everything is ok the way it is, and that we shouldn’t complain, leave or change anything, because sooner or later OT24 will be released, and at that time it will have all been worth it (PTS)

–       being stuck on a maybe, a GPM that eats you alive everyday (PTS)

–       deciding that we are not powerful enough and we are not numerous enough…so it is better to wait, think it through, wait, not do, withhold, be afraid that they might find you, find out which way you’re standing, hide your emails, change your passwords, don’t be too loud, hide a little bit, and hide a little bit more (PTS)

–       deciding, day after day, that you are the Effect and not at Cause (PTS)

Everyone of us is in transit, from one point to another. Everyone is different and unique from everyone else…and still different from ourselves in each and every part of our track. The beingnesses that we assume vary, sometimes month by month, or year by year, at times they are static for decades and at times they change daily. The changes that occur are directly proportional to our awareness levels, our knowledge and our willingness to be and do.

The Out-Tech and suppression in the Miscavige corporation is pretty much known to everyone of us by now. But it is way more evident the minute you exteriorize from this entire incident. And the freedom that you obtain the moment you exteriorize completely from the bullshit within this “church”, is a new kind of freedom that deserves definition.

LRH in one of my favorite HCOBs from OTVIII states that:

All power comes from the ability to occupy a point.”

The effort to weaken a thetan is to make him relinquish his point in space.

Covertly or overtly a thetan seeks to assert his position in space. If he cannot do so overtly he does so covertly.

 Implants and traps were done mainly to keep thetans out of an area. The thetan, resenting and resisting mocks up the place anyway and so implants himself.”


What does this have to do with anything that I was talking about? I could ask myself “do I wanna go on like this and Implant my self any further?”

Well I don’t, and I didn’t. I’m out of the Implants, the GPMs and all this confusion, and fellaz, wow, what kind of air you do breath out here.

Stop diminishing your power. Your integrity is the most important thing you do have. So don’t play with these values, don’t wait to have something different in the physical universe, don’t wait till something happens so that you could do what you wanted to do….to then maybe be ”free”. This would be Have-Do and Be, the cycle completely in reverse.

BE: Be free! With integrity and dignity. Without fear of losing anyone, because the only thing you could lose is your own integrity, and that’s it!

DO: This universe surrenders only to a spirit of play. So PLAY!!! There’s sooooo many things that can be done and are being done….just do it and get OUT of the PTSness.

HAVE: Get your freedom and life back!

 By the way, this is just my own little 2 cents. 

Tiziano Lugli


philosophizing in Tejas


181 responses to “The Phases – the various stages of PTSness

  1. Tiziano;

    That was beautiful. I tracked with what you wrote as though you have been reading my mind. Going through this is like several intensives. The case gain from seeing and truth and unbinding from the chains of suppression – both external crammed in on us and internal by our very agreements we made.

    More later but you both have really made my day. No better dessert from Thanksgiving than this. We are all moving on up a little higher.

    This song says it also in so many ways:


    “You Can Still Be Free”

    Cool breeze and autumn leaves
    Slow motion daylight
    A lone pair of watchful eyes
    Oversee the living

    Feel the presence all around
    A tortured soul
    A wound unhealing
    No regrets or promises
    The past is gone

    But you can still be free
    If time will set you free

    Time now to spread your wings
    To take to flight
    The life endeavor
    Aim for the burning sun
    You’re trapped inside

    But you can still be free
    If time will set you free
    But it’s a long long way to go

    Keep moving way up high
    You see the light
    It shines forever
    Sail through the crimson skies
    The purest light

    The light that sets you free
    If time will set you free

    Sail through the wind and rain tonight
    You’re free to fly tonight
    And you can still be free
    If time will set you free
    And going higher than mountain tops
    And go high like the wind don’t stop
    And go high

    Free to fly tonight
    Free to fly tonight
    Free to fly tonight

    ps: your 2 cents are are worth more than the largest diamonds in the world. They are truth that transcends the value of mest. This is the road to the essence of living.

  2. Tizi;

    Very well spoken. I’m behind what you say 100%. We all have to make a stand. That’s why we are out here. Lurkers, let OSA threaten your jobs, your family and so forth. We have enough now that if all of us come out, OSA would get overwhelmed with writing declares and walk themselves and the Facebook “Kops” would finally see that there is an actual movement going on and become criers for us.

    What’s to gain? Life on all dynamics.

    ML Tom

  3. Addition to my post. The first time I watched this video I thought of the many who have had to cross through the valley on their own two feet. I can see the likes of Mike, Marty, Scott, Karen #1 and the so so many I leave unnamed. We don’t use weapons. We use words. We use ideas. We use the truths as communicated by LRH that we find and know to be true. These shatter the very apparent solidity of ice (suppression and black dianetics).

    There may be some wounded. In the end we win, we survive, we expand and we truly bring to earth a more civil and sane society within our dynamics.

    If I haven’t said it enough a really big thank you to all of you who make this island of sanity possible! The rift in the universe that has been started here will gain speed and sound like the thunder of the heavens!

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  5. Absolutely lovely, Tiziano!
    I find this applicable to any ex, whether they are still embracing scientology tech or not.
    Thank you.

  6. Tiziano, You know where Mat and I stand. Couldn’t agree more – Personal Integrity. Stand up for what you know is right. Love, Amy

  7. Tiziano, you & your wife are amazing! Congratulations to Jamie for completing OTV!!!! Reading through this I have to say that your assessment of the phases is pretty accurate. At least that is how it was for me & many of my friends. You articulated them very well.

    Thanks for sharing your 2 cents 🙂 Sending you & your wife a big hug!


  8. Ijustwantthebeatingstostop

    Very well put Tiziano, nicely said. A lot of people go back and forth, confront, not confront. In the end, the best measure of “If I’m still PTS to the church” is this one statement: AM I DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO AND KEEPING MY INTEGRITY IN, REGARDLESS OF THE CONSEQUENCES THAT THE CHURCH/OSA WILL RETALIATE WITH.

    Expect a video from me soon, it’s all culminating to a crescendo………..soon.

    Life is a wonderful playground when you are out!!!


  9. Tiziano, really brilliant. I was really impressed with everything you said and glad to see you acknowledge the role of Anonymous in exposing the abuses of the Church. While there is a impression that they contribute “natter,” I believe they have been instrumental in helping to create an environment where others can speak freely.

    I read your post as a real call to action and hope that it’s heeded. People shouldn’t be afraid to speak up and have their voices heard; after all, as you point out, there are large numbers of people who are out and there’s definitely safety in those numbers.

  10. Felicitas Foster

    Hi Tiziano,
    very well said – this is a summation for stripping off PTSness, and bee FREE!! Love it.

  11. Scott Campbell


    This post is a powerful wake-up call to all of those still committed to “dying on the vine” in the church of scientology.

    I clearly recall my sea org years and the constant feeling that if we could just surmount this last remaining obstacle… which was actually just an endless series of arbitrarily assigned goals – that we, as S.O. members would finally get our just deserts, namely – going up the bridge. I reasoned that it would only make sense, that a being who was OT would be much more able, much more effective and have a much larger sphere of influence in the world. To me, this seemed like a highly desirable thing and the fastest way to clear the planet. Who wouldn’t want that?

    I’ll tell you who. David Miscavige. Anyone becoming more able, more influential, more rational and more ethical is a threat to David Miscavige. He does not feel safe around thetans, thus his effort to hold down and suppress all thetans. His attitude toward thetans has become so prevelent in the sea org and scientology that any one who actually succeeds and creates a stable base from which to generate power is automatically targeted and cast down by his fellows in order to “teach him his place” in this “hierarchy of men” that the sea org and scientology have become.

    Of course, if one wants to avoid being targeted thus, one merely “swallows his ethics” and becomes a “shill for the establishment”. Phrases like “command intention”, “counter intention”, “make it go right” and “get your ethics in” become part of the vernacular and stock-in-trade of scientologists such as these. The result of this organizational hierarchy is that as the “cream rises to the top” and secures a wider sphere of infulence, it is automatically skimmed off and discarded in order to prevent any threat of unseating DM from his position of power.

    The most galling thing about it is that it doesn’t even have to be subtle or insidious. Institutional Scientology has become so authoritarian that it can rationalize away even the most egregious of crimes against anyone suddenly perceived as a threat.

    Now THAT’S what I call a short-sighted model for future survival!

    Sorry, I think I was channeling DM there for a second. God, I feel dirty. Is that copper I taste?


  12. Brilliant analysis. Like a withhold, remaining part of the sham is only terrifying until you get it off at which point it disappears. Remember, all your associates still being suckered will one day stand in front of this same door and the fact you stepped through will make it easier for them.

  13. Great post Tiziano.

    Those of use who are free from the shackles of ignorance which still imprison our brethren need to use our new found Knowledge and follow it up with the Responsibility and Control that goes along with it. Simply ignoring the Church won’t handle the situation. I have so many ideas on how we, as independent Scientologists, can strike a blow back at the enemy. Reveal his quite real Overts. Hand out fliers with Dead Agent information on DM … outside of events, and Orgs. This is our Church that has been desecrated, and our people who have been led astray.

  14. Dan — This is a very insightful comment responding to a great post from Tiz. And as each person passes through the door they make it just a bit wider and oil the hinges a little for those who come next.

  15. Wonderful Scott. Really spot on.

  16. MR. T, My god that was well said! I think the really important lesson to learn and ability to regain is a willingness to let go. Personal integrity is something we should never lose but everything else changes and is lost eventually anyway. Maybe freedom is just an ability to accept change.
    As difficult as it is sometimes to do the right thing it can be very liberating.

  17. martyrathbun09

    Scott, you inspired a cognition. I was still hung up a bit on how I went from blowing, completing OT III, training to Class V grad, and then eighteen months later being appointed as Inspector General. I think I have a better idea now. Thanks.

  18. martyrathbun09

    Spot on.

  19. Coming out from under the radar might “seem scary”. But you get through it because that’s what we do. The life you have been living has you compromised to some degree and fixing that can only make you stronger. If you didn’t give a damn about things like integrity, honor, and increased awareness and ability – then you wouldn’t have started down this road of looking for the truth. There is no greater sense of peace then being able to stand in the sunshine being who you are, saying what you believe in, and not giving a damn what the consequences are. Factually the consequences in all cases that I have seen have always been positive, and the freedoms gained far outweighed any of the downsides.

  20. Tiziano,

    Very well expressed. My views exactly. You just can’t be afraid to do the right thing. One just can’t deny himself and violate his integrity for fear of whatever. Remember the founding fathers of this country? They all had a lot to lose. They all had vast property and families. They all faced hanging. John Hancock had a price of 500 pounds on his head. He signed in enormous letters so “that his Majesty could now read his name without glasses and could now double the reward.”

    Those “under the radar” have all different situations and concerns. Some are very complex and difficult. I understand that. Now please, understand this: You are either Cause or Effect. Which would you rather be?

    “Your integrity to yourself is more important than your body.” –LRH


  21. Tiziano, wonderful post and so true. Without integrity there is nothing.

  22. I couldn’t agree more!!! Since I’ve declared my Independence I’ve never felt better and my production has gone into a screaming affluence which is still going. I need more NOTS auditors in Italy to handle the demands!!! Anyone there Italian speaking!!!

  23. Tiziano Lugli, Good Show Sir !

    Relevan song is relevant.

    Cat Daddy a.k.a Niels Martens

  24. Congrats on getting out Tiziano!

  25. I think there may also be a phase where C of S is simply irrelevant in one’s life, sometimes an annoyance. I read this blog because it fills in the gaps of “what the hell happened?” and the information cannot be found anywhere else. I can’t see any future with a corrected C of S. To my perspective the future lays only with a new independent field. Oddly enough it was that independent field that expanded Scientology out the roof in the first place — those long gone franchise holders with their pioneering spirit just setting up shop and auditing and training people.

  26. Sweet Fancy Moses on THE Hilltop!!!!
    You’ve put down a groove, a pocket, that a guy could drive a Mack truck, triple-trailered, through.

    That’s a Master.

    Melodies from a swarthy Mediterranean Demi-God (and only Demi so as to retain a line to send the message upon).


    I’m in the band. Laying down what needs to be down, willingly following the symphony you’ve put out across this whole universe. What a freakin’ groove, dude. The harmonics, the transcending, oh so familiar, melody from Source.

    The rest of you that need to, pick up the instrument, yourselves, and play. THIS IS THE TUNE, RIGHT NOW, IT’S THE REAL DEAL.

  27. Molto bene, Tiziano. Some of my biggest wins in auditing were on Grade 3 which “seems” to be about ARC Xs but is really about CHANGE. Of course, when things change, people get ARC Xn because things are not the same. As I had those processes done on me (by Gelda the Good – before she became Gelda the other thing), I felt all sorts of movement in my energetic field. I could perceive all the CHANGE that was occurring in the environment. I realized I could either be a part of that CHANGE or become an effect of it. If you ignore changes you will eventually become the effect of them. By participating in CHANGE, I was able to choose a new job, do well on it and buy myself more time to have fun. Organizations always go through changes and a big key to surviving is adapting to the changes. For those who lurk, you already see and know that massive changes are going on. Each one has a different time to change. We do not all get up and go to work at exactly the same time. When your time comes, you will know it. Pick on the changes and use it your advantage. CHANGE.
    p.s. Don’t forget to START and STOP etiher.

  28. You already know my feelings Tiziano my friend. Stay safe, keep speaking..:)

  29. Tiziano,

    Loved your article!

    Though I got to say my journey’s been somewhat different.

    It started with the realization that whatever they were doing at the Church of “Scientology” was *not* Scientology and that they were doing something else.

    After I made various efforts on my own to change the direction the Organization was going and found myself rebuffed at every turn and even “handled” in “Ethics” and “Qual” for demanding straight Scientology I ended up in the Independent Field and haven’t looked back.

  30. Scott Campbell

    Your welcome Marty.

    I can’t tell you right now what happened on my lines before your ack even posted, but I can tell you that you will be most pleased.

    Sorry for the mystery sandwich, but the dictates of protocol obtain in this case.


  31. Well done on your gains and completions and welcome to freedom. I hope you’ve alerted as many of your friends and family as you could as to where they can find the correct information so the snowball of release of fear rolls even faster. DePTSing your friends not only releases so much suppression that Davey will have to reschedule his advance tickets for Bulgravia again, it’s also so much more fun.

  32. Scott Campbell

    Sapere Aude,

    Fantastic video. I love people who can express their depth of feeling via aesthetics. It adds another dimension to the comm cycle and contributes to the motion of the group.

    Thank you for your insightful logic and passion to improve conditions. It really helps.


  33. That’s a very basic tenet. The only reason you’re trapped in a body in this Universe is your inability to let go. Regret your wrong decissions or wish you never made them = saying it’s there and it’s bad. Thus you create in PT your own fear for them and you never want to postulate them again, thus preventing as-issness and you’ll be trapped forever. Letting go of old havingness can only be done through selfdetermined inspection and despite fearing one’s wrong postulates, still recreating them to obtain ass-isness.

  34. Totally agreed 1000%, Dan! It’s amazing that one does get case gain as Mr T stated and revitalizes quite a lot of things which were no longer yours, which you didn’t realize.

    Congrats to the new OT V and the auditor!

  35. Obivously it would be a whole different scene if LRH were here. I wonder to what degree he’d reform the church delivery setups, because possibly having central buildings might not be a strategy he’d continue.

    I’d be curious to hear what independent Scientologists think about having church buildings and having all the echelons (Class 5, Saint Hill, AOs, Flag, Freewinds) or not.

    If the whole bridge can be competently done by independent field auditors who can do the whole enchilada, at more fair prices (donations), I can see why independents have a HUGE advantage and look to be a more inviting personal spiritual improvement experience compared to the money draining experience of going through the whole official DM dominated setup with all the echelons of empty buildings, and the sideshow entities draining the parishioners of their funds before they can get themselves up the Bridge.

    With the internet, everything can be done with the computer, daily comm to all parishioners, etc, etc.

  36. Scott that is so spot on! Anyone out there still uncertain of the true intentions of DM please read and re-read this post.

  37. You are acting more like a Scientologist, and deserve to be called a Scientologist MORE than the poor official Scientologists trapped, PTS and kowtowing to DM. DM couldn’t audit anyone, since no one would want to go in session with him, he exudes inval-eval and is incapable of adhering to the auditor’s code.

    LRH would forgive every one of you without a second thought, especially if you’re getting each other some wins by using his tech.

    Good for you!

  38. Tiziano…..I LOVE your loudness and this hits the nail on the head.

    Your name has been mentioned a few times over here in articles exposing the truth and all in one of the major womens magazine Woman’s Day which is on display at nearly every checkout in nearly every supermarket and newsagency, and the best thing of all is the accurate reporting. Good article was in there about Amy as well.

    I had a pretty wild experience the other day with an OT 7 who is in the church and KNOWS (the mind boggles), anyway we accidently bumped into each other at the shops she was with her on OT7 husband. We locked eyes and I couldn’t believe it I thought “well I’ll be damned who would have thought” and broke into a huge smile, at the same time that my ARC went sky high with amazement and my space was huge her and his bodies ridged and the small space around them shook with whatever stable datums they operate on. I could literally feel my power was mine completely and that they really had none. I said hello Joie and she looked ahead and away from me and forced a hello back.

    At that point I so fully realized that disconnection was soooo much LESS painful than losing your personal integrity and I saw in both of them loss of personal integrity. I wouldn’t be in a half in half out person’s shoes for a billion trillion dollars what a continuing enturbulating life they lead.

  39. Tony DePhillips

    Very well said Tiziano.
    I know a lot of people need to do this in their own time. But it is important to reiterate the value of coming out and taking a stand. I personally have felt over the years great affection for the people in Scientology and for the tech. I felt it was important enough to help remedy the injustices perpetrated against well intentioned thetans.
    This cannot stand.
    The more people that stand up and be counted will cause a wave of truth that will be insurmountable. I believe that wave is already cresting and will break very soon. It is a tsunami and the faster others get ready to rise up the faster we will see the results on dm. No slower, no faster.
    I do believe it is inevitable.
    The question will be: Did you do all that you felt you could to help free this subject and the thetans abused? We will all go down in history as the ones that freed this subject and I think that is a noble thing to be part of.
    Thanks again for all that you and your wife have done in the name of integrity and free thinking.

  40. Wolfen & Pericles(same dog)

    Tiziano, your entry was a breath of fresh air to me this day after Thanksgiving. Whenever I post a comment another layer of attachment peels off. It doesn’t peel off with any pain; it’s like a snake shedding his skin because it’s the familiar thing to have happen. Knowing that OOSA reads these posts every day, like they have someone posted like Judy Mercy in CW or Neal O’Reilly up at OOSA Int to constantly keep an eye out to peel away each of our disguises like peeling an onion to get to the core. It’s a game.

    Wherever I am writing from which can be from anywhere or nowhere,
    like many of us who are on someone’s list, I am close myself to getting to that door of light like in the last episode of LOST where Jack’s father opens the doors in the back of the church and everyone is flooded with light. You can see that the light brightens everyone’s expression and that light of freedom is being absorbed by everyone.

    There are those who, I think that someone said it was 98%, think I work for OOSA and OOSA thinks I work in conjunction with you. Well someone is only 1/2 right.

    I received an email from a Lady the other day who requested that I send her no more emails. Out of the enormous respect I have for her and her husband, I grant her that request and she will receive nothing more from me except maybe a request for s/g she may have scrawled on pieces of parchment somewhere.

    I grew up as a poet from a very young age and wrote dozens of short stories and poems. I also painted coastlines and landscapes on shingles. I spent days at a time writing pieces and crafting poetry from things I saw with my eyes closed or saw from a mountaintop, or looking out from a tree house. For some years now that creative genius has vanished as a result of my being on the beaten end of the stick through intimidation, less than poor c/sing(small caps because the c/s must have been looking at someone else’s folder and not mine). I finally gave up and now eventually down the road a piece look forward to STANDARD LRH TECH at the hands of someone who recognizes True Source.

    Funny, I’ve been slapping at a mosquito that has been at me for some minutes and left my side somewhere and exposed itself right in front of me where in a present time moment as opposed to a senior moment I clapped my hands together and GOT HIM and he was quite bloody. MY blood, just like the blood that, what I once considered ‘my church’, has been draining from me all these years. I have made a decision that no longer will this poor excuse for a Church ever get their talons in me again. Either I will quietly move away or do it in my usual style like Will from Independence Day “he knows how to make an entrance!”

    Marty once said to me to “Stay Strong”. I am staying strong and know in my heart that I will one day have to cut the lines that have mostly broken apart leaving the smallest of strands.

    For those who have gone to the ‘other’ side, those who hold a Badge of Honor of being declared by the truest SP this Universe has ever seen, you ALL have my undying admiration.

    On another note, I want to apologize to Mike Rinder for forwarding an OOSA rumor. I didn’t have my eyes open as much as I do now. I think it is only a matter of time before I see the end and a new beginning. I look forward to it!!!!

  41. Independent Scientologist

    When I woke up about the church, I announced my independent status as quickly as I could, here on Marty’s blog.

    And since the best response to suppression is to flourish and prosper, I have been busy with my studies and solo auditing as an independent and just finished R6EW. And tomorrow I expect to start auditing on the Clearing Course.

    To the MAA at AOLA who wouldn’t help me get on my Advanced Courses and the Class IX auditor who gave me the worst excuse for an auditing session I’ve ever experienced: in your face!!!

    – Ron Matlock

  42. New definition of an “SP”: Anyone who insists on Standard Tech. Anyone who is a free thinker. Anyone who blows the whistle on DM’s corruption, out-ethics, abuses and breach of fiduciary duty. Anyone who is perceived to be a threat to the Miscavige Monarchy.

    Just say “no” to Miscavigology and disconnect from it. You’ll immediately feel a large mass(es) blow and will feel a resurgence of life energy. And even better, you’ll look 10 years younger.

  43. Fellow Traveller

    T — I have no idea where you are from because those 2 cents buy everything. Everything worth anything anyhow.

    Thank you.

    Bruce Pratt

  44. Lise, Thanks for sharing that experience and I agree with you 100%! 🙂
    Just wanted to repeat it: “I fully realized that disconnection was soooo much LESS painful than losing your personal integrity.” AMEN.

  45. Hi Chuck,

    I think we are going back to the successful action of the past of Independent Auditors and Field Groups with no centralized control.

  46. MQ,
    Holy cats!! You just indicated/put in/rehabbed my Grade III!!!

    I’m still BDing…heavily.

    Thank you Vince. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

  47. W&P,
    Power my man, you’ve got it – you can hold a position. Great post.

  48. Yeeeeehaaaa Ron Matlock!!!
    Well done on moving on the Bridge. Well done, and you’re going to LOVE the next steps. I’m soooo happy to hear this accomplishment.


  49. Sapere Aude, loved the video thank you for posting it.

  50. Dear Tiziano

    What a great post ~~ one that resonated with so many of us.
    Tiziano said ::

    Somebody will do something to change all this. Maybe from the inside, we’ll get a rebellion, or the CIA, or the FBI, the Police or the Government…Mike or Marty…or God, maybe RON comes back (a little too late) and along with Jesus, Buddha and Harry Potter they will defeat DM.

    Yes, many fall into WAITING for OTHERS to create the effect they want. From their on-the-fence viewpoint “OTHERS” should be changing the scene within the “Church” to the result they seek.

    I loved the Mahatma Gandhi quote which applies so much to your blog Tiziano

    “We must become the change we want to see in the world.”

    repeated with emphasis ~
    WE must become the change we want to see in the world.”

    Mahatma Gandhi added ~~

    Reflect on your world and your place within it. Discuss how YOU have changed or plan to effect change within that world.

  51. Scott Campbell

    Dear all,

    A bit of interest for you that I feel echoes Lise’s post above regarding just how fragile C of S members have become.

    Karry just received a letter from a still-on-lines friend of ours stating that he heard (from another fence-sitting, off lines friend of ours) that I was in comm with “disaffected scientologists” and told her that if she was still in comm with me, (implying that she wouldn’t be for this reason) that he could no longer communicate with her. She replied in no uncertain terms that were were in comm with Independent Scientologists.

    So, this is for anyone out there who doesn’t have a good definition for the word “disaffected”.

    From Google Dictionary: “Disaffected – Adjective: Dissatisfied with the people in authority and no longer willing to support them.”

    And from axiom 38: “1. Stupidity is the unknownness of consideration.”


  52. Tony DePhillips

    I liked your comment a lot. Very real to me.

  53. Tony DePhillips

    Well done Ron.
    Nice flourish!!

  54. Scott:
    Yes, the buzzword used to be “They are connected with Internet SPs”
    but they found out that by using the word “Internet” got the more curious to go look up the Internet to find out what all the rah rah was about.

    So the phrase “Internet SPs” has been completely dropped to hide the word

    The soft wording used now, is “Disaffected.”
    A friend of mine arrived at Freewinds recently and was told by the Security officer that he may not be Elligible for FREEWINDS as he could no longer friend someone (on Facebook !!!!!) because they were “Disaffected.”

    Whereupon my friend say “Holy Cow ! There was a time where you had to disconnect from an SP. Now the Church wants “disconnection” from someone DISAFFECTED. not declared, Disaffected. (The Freewinds guy admitted there was no declare on the subject.)

    Such is the fear and reaction to try to block connections to anyone who might shed more light on current affairs.

  55. metaqual

    So very true. “Organizations always go through changes and a big key to surviving is adapting to the changes.” The current Church structure will not survive due to this fact. They are off source. For those reading and doubting me (not the regular Independents but the others lurking in the darkness with devious thoughts) read it from LRH. HCOPL 9 Nov 68 Standard Admin

    “The best organization is one which has a thetan over it, methods of working out its problems, basic actions and a good desireable product. It adapts itself to its environment or surroundings or conditions of operation so as to expand to greater or lessor degree. Such as organizations must have a clear-cut purpose and fill a definite need in order to survive. Its services must be more valuable than what it costs to produce or furnish those services. It must, to remain healthy, obtain more potential than it spends. For “potential” can be ready money or power or even strength.

    Where an organization violates these very fundamental things it sickens and will eventually perish.”

    By Independents throwing off the yoke of suppression we are able to perform these functions. No matter what structure we shall survive and expand and the “old” church will sicken and eventually perish. It has already sickened, in fact it is rotting on the vine as Scott mentioned.

    We can change. We can observe and spot suppression. We can expand and grow as beings and our capabilities as well as our compassion for the people of earth. Only the fixed mest bodies clinging to the vine and trying to hold the dead and dying from change can never see this.

    The START is what we are doing. The STOP is what we are trying to accomplish of those who believe as DM does – that the beatings shall continue until morale improves.

    Thank you for your insight, it was refreshing.

  56. Karen #1

    I guess per Scott’s post of the definition of disaffected:
    “no longer willing to support them” just about EVERY person going to the ship could be found uneligible. I would bet almost any public out there is connected to someone not fully supporting IAS, building dono’s, etc.

    Who will define the no longer will to support. Hey, you did sell your clothes at the second hand store for another set of books to go with the 10 sets you have. Not enough support.

    Sheesh! Any non full time public could be now considered disaffected. This group will quickly shrink to a handful who are so clueless they have no concept of surviving in the real world. Hell, a band of baboons has more sense than kick out the member simply sunning himself and picking lice.

    If they force disconnection from someone considered disaffected this group will collapse even faster.

    Karen – having worked with Heber I look forward to the day he can be free to do what he wishes – go to the beach, eat ice cream or kick some ass. He is a truly wonderful being now under punishment for who he is.

  57. Great post, Tiziano. Your courage and integrity are admirable.

    As an aside, question for RON MATLOCK: H

  58. Scott Campbell

    Yes Karen, it’s always amazing to me what length groups such as the C of S will go to in order to practice their particular brand of insular class distinction .

    The torturous “semantic gymnastics” that members of the group are subject to only serve to create a giant A=A on the meaning of words. Thus, the subject itself is ultimately lost.

    One only need look to what LRH has to say about Alfred Korzybski and his work “General Semantics” in order to see that this practice of invalidating the legitimate definition of words in favor of “conceptual vernacular” leads to lost tech.

    “A disaffection is an SP” will soon become “an upset is an SP” and so on.

    Boy, am I glad to be out of that. Whew!

    Glad you’re out too!

    L, Scott

  59. Great post, Tiziano. Your courage and integrity are admirable.

    As an aside, a question for RON MATLOCK (or anyone else who can answer in case Ron doesn’t see this): Hi, Ron. Are you the son of Evan and Jere Matlock? If so, what are they up to these days? Hip to the corruption of the Church? (I was on staff with both of them at AOLA back in the 70s and always liked them.)

    Keep up the great work, Tiziano. LRH would be proud!

  60. Lise,

    “At that point I so fully realized that disconnection was soooo much LESS painful than losing your personal integrity and I saw in both of them loss of personal integrity”
    This is so right !
    I had exactly the same experienc in the Sauna.
    They are just pour souls !

  61. To those currently stuck in the ugly “maybe” of what to do!

    Funny how timing works when one is pushing themselves to move on up a little higher. I was just talking with a fellow indie tonight about the various stages one goes through upon leaving (even before I knew of this article).

    For me it’s been about fifteen months since leaving. I’d say Tiziano has nailed it here and anybody sitting on that lonely fence of indecision ought to take his advice to heart.

    Even if one must use a fake name as I’m currently doing, to protect certain loved ones, please stop contributing to organized Scientology because it’s NOT actually Scientology. At least, not any more.

    Ignore the staff. Ignore the public. Ignore the Sea Org. Ignore the threats. Ignore the attempts to make you guilty of anything….even if you ARE guilty of a few things. It’s a cheap weapon/tactic that seems to work because none of us wants to be bad and none of us wants to be exposed for it. It’s embarrassing, some of the stuff in the average ethics folder. Not a person following this blog fails to understand this.

    But that, really, is the only thing the church has over any one of us: Stupid shit you might’ve done, or are still doing.

    Walk away peacefully and legally with zero regrets. Just walking away is a very loud statement, believe me. It really confuses and messes with both staff and public on a deep level. And I’m not wrong-targeting staff and public as the bad guys here. I’m suggesting that by leaving Scientology, you are ultimately helping to wake them up.

    Leaving is a help flow, crazy as that sounds to somebody who’s still, perhaps, stuck in a maybe on it.
    (And yes, I’ve made case gain. Yes, I’ve helped others by using the tech. No, I’m not a Rock Slammer. Nor am I an SP).

    Want to be guilty of an overt? Contribute to organized Scientology. THAT’S an overt. No games here. I mean it. Don’t contribute to something that is making people miserable and broke. Don’t allow yourself to be effect (afraid of), the monster that COB and his version of “Management” have created, or anyone associated with it.

    David Miscavige is going down and he knows it. For his inevitable succumb is the exact, gigantic motivator he’s oh, so desperate for now.

    He can blame it all on the Marty’s and the Mike’s of this world so that he doesn’t have to look at what HE has done. I’ll leave it up to his future cell mate, Bubba, to punish him. (Another motivator he’s sure to pull in based upon what he’s done to so many good people).

    Thanks for sharing this sage advice, Tiziano.

    Idle Org

  62. That’s a very valid point; strength is in numbers. It might not be a bad idea to make a separate link on this blog, just like the Indie 500, where anyone speaking out against Corporate Church abuses can fill in his name, grade and level (maybe including the last time they visited a Church or a link to their own personal story page).

  63. Looks like we’re over the tipping point: Churchies are now forbidden to talk to anyone that’s fallen off the Brigde, they’re forbidden to recover ARC X ps’s and they’re forbidden to communicate through mainstream media channels. Next they”ll be forbidden to talk to each other and have to CSW for reading any doubt formula. BULGRAVIAAAA!!!

  64. I thank the brave who have spoken out, for they provided information I did not have before and each one of them helped me to understand.

    I welcome and encourage those who look, for it is the same route that I have gone before I saw. And with seeing comes a responsibility to share with others what one has observed so that the the same cycle may repeat.

    I judge men and women by what they DO. Their actions may be visible or invisible, applauded or not, but action it must be for it is the only thing that causes change. And to me, action or inaction separates those who are PTS from those who are cause.

    The 55 comments so far were written almost entirely by people with a “real name”. Mine is only a handle. It will stay that way for using my real name on this blog would prevent a clearly defined change from occurring. In case you wonder: No, I’m not merely “thinking” about it.

    “Desired perception” determines my name, not my actions.

    There will come a time, and I sincerely hope it will be soon, when my real name will be useful and at which point I will use it.

    Until then I remain
    Sincerely Yours,

  65. Tory Christman

    Thank you, Tiziano! Great post!!!

    I’ve said for years: ~~IF~~ every single person who was “under the radar” (and basically PTS) stood up and said: “*I* am NOT taking this crap any more”…and spoke out…
    the suppression would be O V E R.

    Those staying, in fear, as you say (and many others have for years and years, and I thank them for doing so!)..only keep the phony “church” walls UP. Those people actually help keep families and loved ones broken up.
    They help support the very mafia-like organization that uses Fair Game
    on people who have only told the truth. Natter? I don’t see it that way.
    Sure, there IS natter–which is “negative chatter”. When people post
    facts: Time, Place, Form, Event—that isn’t natter—it’s what happened.
    Or they post their opinions, something “The rest of the world” enjoys greatly discussing, and members in C of $ are constantly molded to NOT do that.

    To those still “in” and lurking: Think of yourself as a child. Would you be proud of you now, cowering, afraid, stopped from reading or talking because of some bully (DM) orders
    you not to do so?
    What would you have told yourself, now?
    I know for me… was this: Many Men and Woman have for years
    stood up for, and even died, to ensure WE have the very freedoms
    to speak as we now do. I came to that exact same point, in 2000.

    I could do one of 2 things: Dig my head in the sand, pretend I didn’t see or hear all the abuses I had within C of $.
    OR—Stand up straight, DO WHAT IS RIGHT
    and take whatever SHIT that came my way. I knew it would, and it sure has Hell did!
    Once I took that view, I had the BE you speak of.

    DO: I grew up with the Spirit of Play, and once I took back MY Life,
    I had that back, in full. Since then, many people have written me
    that it was my happiness that helped them get free from whatever
    traps they’d been stuck in. I couldn’t agree with you more, Tiziano!

    Have: Yes, yes, have YOUR life back—everything you’ve ever wanted,
    and more. Take me as an example: I spoke out, way back when, and as a result …I did lose ALL of my 30 year “friends”, and my husband of 27
    years, over night. However…..soon after, I began to make new friends,
    and as a result, I now have friends all around the world, in many areas.

    Even better—now many of my old “Friends” are out, and that’s a joy
    I cannot put into words. I love you all. I greatly thank each and every
    person who helps expose the insidious abuses of C of $ and Davey- the wimp-wanna be- bully- boy.

    May more and more keep on comin 🙂 Tick Tock, Tick Tock…..:)

  66. Independent Scientologist

    I was barred from my advanced courses at AOLA because my wife – a class VIII auditor – expressed some doubts about the Golden Age of Tech and the Ideal Org strategy. Please get that: she merely expressed some doubts. My MAA (ethics person) then labeled my wife as “disaffected.” I had to look the damn word up in a dictionary. The creed of the Church of Scientology – a wonderful and inspiring piece of writing – is dead inside the current church. The ability to “think freely” is verboten. I am glad to be solo auditing as an independent so that one day I can become a real OT instead of a “safe” OT (what an oxymoron).

    – Ron Matlock

  67. Well said Tiziano. I fully agree: Get up and speak out!

  68. The room just went brighter.

  69. Sapere Aude
    So beautiful. Thank you for posting this.

  70. Amy
    I always admired you but do so much more for what you have done and are doing to fight the atrocities of the ‘church’. Wish there were more like you that live up to the illusions of greatness that were once encapsulated in that ‘Sea Org Beingness’ regardless of religious belief or doctrine. Gotta say Debbie Cook is a real disappointment in comparison.

  71. “as each person passes through the door they make it just a bit wider and oil the hinges a little for those who come next.”
    Perfect 😀

  72. + 1 🙂

  73. Damn Cat Daddy, That’s good! Post the whole video!

  74. 😀 😀 😀

  75. Tiziano;
    Thanks for this posting. I have noticed when an Independent writes a post addressed to those, “UNDER THE RADAR” within 5 days a new person or persons will go public. This band of “FREE THETANS” must never stop communicating to their enslaved scientology friends and family.

    In business the experts always tell you being a success in a retail business is about three things. Location, location, location.

    Truely being free as a thetan is about, PERSONAL integrity, PERSONAL integrity, PERSONAL integrity.

    High Five to Jamie & her auditor on completing OTV.

  76. Spot on Sarge! I like the ability to lose, the same way you are able to lose the reactive mind, or lose your compulsions or the entire case…change, not being afraid to be wrong. As you say, VERY liberating!

  77. Love this door analysis. Let’s get this door wider and oil these hinges!!!

  78. Yeah….we’ve had hours upon hours of conversations on this! You know I know that you know that we know 😉
    You guys rock.

  79. That’s neat, Jim! If that were the only benefit of this blog, I would be very happy!

  80. Hellz yeah. Let me re-read it again… Oh yeah Christie. I’m sure I can speak for the many of us that what you wrote is exactly what happens: “the freedoms gained far outweighed any of the downsides”

  81. Tiz
    Wow only 2c? That’s some serious value for money.
    The truth of the matter is that ‘flying under the radar’ is in actuality nothing more than a synonym for ‘PTS’ (I’m ducking in anticipation of the howls of protest!)
    I tried flying under the radar for a couple of months. Wasn’t very good at it and it made me feel wretched.
    I see some of my old friends cow-towing to the ‘church’ or staying quiet. I know that this must be soul destroying for them regardless of any justified thought in the matter.
    If only they would shed their imagined shackles and rise up to be the thetans I can see beneath the layers of self-doubt. Maybe then they would see in themselves what I can see…

  82. I know you feel the same way Luis. Your letter was indeed very powerful and contained nothing but 100% of a being at Full Cause!

    Thank you!

    Btw, I heard that my Italian gang sent more then 1’500 emails in Italy with your letter. That will be another pretty “wake up call” for all the Italiani!

  83. martyrathbun09

    Samuel, I know what you are up to and there is not need to explain yourself.

  84. Chuck – What LRH would do is irrelevant because he is not the one who will change the culture of Scientology. It is a matter of “culture jamming”. At the original COSMOD mission or “Mission of Davis” (the most successful of missions), those of us who were on course would be subjected to preclears coming out of session with their minds literally blown with life resurgence whether it was Life Repair, Grades or whatever. Not only was auditing HAPPENING, it was happening in the best way you could imagine. This was a culture that was cultivated by Class VIII Martin Samuels who was good at getting people to duplicate the desired necessities that would produce a result. The buiiding was an old Datsun dealership with a garage. The MEST was servicable, not posh. Those experiences….just hearing the wins…..were accompanied by a release of charge. I’d also be studying Dianetics and contemplating the possibilities of the future which were very beautiful. Eventually I would experience similar gains and also full blown exteriorization, something I never really anticipated.
    If people just produce similar wins with REAL auditing, Scientology could grow by leaps and bounds. Marty has obviously gotten good results. I have never seriously even thought about this before because there was too much bullshit. Times are changing however. That is for sure. Martin Samuels mosied along for a few years before he got the formula down. People came and went. Once he built a strong HGC that could produce results, he obtained Class VIII Paul Armstrong who sharpened up the tech considerably. Then, he had a crack team of disseminators and a great Div 6 Comm Course. The place took off and I was right there watching it all take place as a student on the Dianetics Course. My point is that once the evil empire crumbles, I could see Marty’s grass roots approach catching fire like Martin Samuels did back in the 70’s. Marty can simply apply the conditions of Affluence when that is attained. He can also learn from the mistakes of the past. The mission network would have expanded leaps and bounds if the CofS didn’t get in the way. And the point is not to get the stats up and the GI up, but to give people good experiences. In other words, change the stats. well, that really is VSD. Scientology works when it is a word of mouth and grass roots movement.
    I know you’ve “had it” with Scientology on a personal basis but I find it interesting that you still very much want to see it do the right thing. I know you probably also think you wasted a lot of your life. LIfe is not like that, not really. You did it for a reason. Hard lesson but its never a waste.

  85. The Artist is DFB a poster on this blog 😉

  86. Ahah…got the guitar? This is just a blues with a rock feel, follow these chords:

  87. Yeah RJ, Thanks. As you know, this was not for those that had “our” journey, but for those that have seen what we’ve seen, and are still in HIDING, or not speaking out, or not taking a stand.

  88. Lise, this happens to me and Jamie every other week. See, LA is a big SCN quarter, with people going in the same places. So when we bump into some old kool-aid drinker, the amazing thing that I’ve witnessed is that entire facade of disconnection, gently fades away, because the presence alone of the being, full ARC and willingness to grant beingness to the REAL person, blows everything away, and makes it a little easier for the other person to say “wow, I was right, he never looked like an SP, I actually see him way better now”.

    At times I even said. “Oh, don’t worry, just report back that you were very cold and did not hug me, and it will all be alright”… Just throwing out there how silly it all is, at times it blows everything away 😉

  89. Yes TONY! Like you said, the tsunami has crested, and I sometime think that the War has not begun, it’s OVER. It just takes longer to state it officially and count the dead bodies.

    But we nevertheless have to stand up and claim our lives back, because many of the dead bodies out there, are actually ALIVE!

    WAKE UP, and WALK AWAY!!!

  90. Tiziano,

    Thanks for picking up your pen and providing such clarity to this subject. I feel certain that you’ve helped a lot more people to stick their heads up above the radar.

    Tom Gallagher

    p.s., Here’s a song that came to mind while reading your post………

  91. Way to go RON! And Ahah…I could start with my own stories about AOLA MAAs and FLAG’s MAAs. But poor Julian, and poor kids (yeah the MAAs at FLAG are mostly teens or in their early 20s), and the ones at CCINT…what do you wanna tell them, or do to them. I’m just sorry for these outta valence, overwhelmed vultures.

  92. SOOOOOO appropriate!

    These are real words of wisdom, that call for real acts for freedom!

  93. Sarge,
    A caveat: “Personal integrity is something we should never lose” becomes problematic fairly quickly. All theta difficulties basically trace back to theta abilities which begin to “solidify.” You take any theta condition or ability and begin to condense it, make it more solid–and you get trouble. “I will maintain my integrity, no matter what!” often just turns into a big ridge. And ridges accumulate more mass, etc. etc. etc.

    That which precedes integrity, theta itself, always was and always will be. Theta can mock up integrity at will, paint it blue, toss it in the ocean, mock up some more, turn it into a cat, throw it in the fire, and on and on. No big loss. There’s always more integrity just waiting to be created.

    One big datum is whenever a thetan is threatened with unmocking he begins to mock up obsessively. Someone starts to unmock a being’s integrity (which he’s mocked up so scrupulously and put so much admiration and importance on) he really goes to town mocking up that grrrrrrrrrr inte- grrrrrrrr-grit-grrrrrrrrrrrr-YYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

    Keep the spirit of play. Seriousness equals mass. No compelling reason to take our integrity too seriously. Personally, I like to store mine in efferdent with my teeth at night; that way I can find it when I get up in the morning–so I can admire it and be very proud of myself. And the efferdent does wonders keeping my integrity clean!


  94. Your words flow like powerful swords in your poetic explanation: “action or inaction separates those who are PTS from those who are cause.”

    And I definitely saw the ONLY 55 comments so far…which makes me think, some people must be REALLY thinking by now 😉

  95. Spot on Magoo !!!
    Your spirit of play always transcended in all your videos and writings.

    Tick Tock, Tick Tock…LOVE IT 😉

  96. PERSONAL integrity, PERSONAL integrity, PERSONAL integrity.

    Gee, I wait for the days of public disavowal of trusted “high rollers” (location, location, location) kool-aid drinkers, fund raising maniac de-PTSsed and freed!

  97. I remember a comment you made a few months ago on someone PTS, oops, I meant Under The Radar. Spot ON!


  98. Lise,

    I LOVE your comment. Theory is one thing. Living quite another. To experience another being exactly as they are! What a rush!


  99. TOM, this should be the Anthem !!!

  100. Tiziano,

    Like I said, “what a rush!” I think I’m becoming very impressed with you way beyond that pretty face. To be able to observe and analyze and arrange data and experience. Very impressive. Assigning proper importances. Granting beingness when others give you reason not to. Hmmmm. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

    Pretty friggin’ cool.


  101. Very good post Tiziano. Speaking from my own reality, I can say that one has no idea how fulfilling, gratifying and wholesome it feels to openly speak out. I had no idea until I did it.

    I believe it is also a point of application of the KRC Triangle. Each of us has some measure of Knowledge, first-hand, of the crap that DM has perverted the existing church into. This Knowledge mandates that one is then Responsible. I do not mean they are responsible for the messed up state of affairs, but that they have a Responsibility to do something about it NOW and in the FUTURE. In this way they will exert proper Control — and coming out and edifying those still in Doubt by exposing the farce is an excellent way to get a balance in the KRC Triangle.

  102. Wolfen & Pericles(same dog)

    Jim Logan,
    Coming from you, that is indeed great praise. As Jean Reno in the movie ‘Godzilla’ while chewing gum in the drivers seat of an army jeep copying Elvis would say, “Thank you vury much”. You are truly a King amongst Kings.

  103. Like P.Diddy said: “I thought I told you that we don’t stop…”

  104. Sam, Carol and Scott.

    I am happy this has created the desired affect. Sam, if you are the smiling Sam fishing earlier this year with Marty I wanted your name included. I didn’t remember exactly which Sam that was. When I first started looked at the horror show I wondered what would become of me. My stable datum had been the Church for so long – it was like where do I see my eternity with no access. I felt this way through the early 80’s exodus.

    I could close my eyes and listen to this. I had really looked at my past, my actions and my future. I reviewed many LRH references to ensure it wasn’t my viewpoint or overts causing me to see sideways or something. No, the reality before me was the real mess it was.

    I knew how it felt in the early 80’s. The very person who had introduced me to LRH left then. I loved that person and still do. I will never forget with he came out and made his stand. He gave me a letter of declaration of his stand in the issue. I met and told him that I understood and would never make him wrong. I told him that I was sorry for him, as I believed at that time that he was losing his future.
    I look back and wonder why I didn’t follow such rational think as Tizi so eloquently wrote above, or as Marty has seen posted for months on this blog. But at that time we didn’t have an open forum nor the internet. We could have our access to data and true Source references controlled.

    I came from a hard core GO background so I felt really weird maintaining that comm line which I have to this day. I have stayed at his house, spoke on the phone and visited many times. We just sort of stayed off the subject of what he was doing but we did talk about LRH and data from books lectures, etc. That was our common shared reality. The weird feeling was my thought stopping.

    Earlier this year we were chatting on the phone and I asked him what he thought he would do about getting up the bridge. He said he was OT3 and still had more to do. I was really happy for him. He knows not that I have started in motion all needed to fully come out. He will be one of the first I tell when it happens. It won’t happen until I have at least allowed the choice to be made by my children.

    As I told another friend, who is out and posting, I don’t need my children to have the wrath descend upon them with no forwarning and out of the blue. The world of my children will be more affected that my own. I am off all lines and have been for years. Even a Declaration of War should be in advance of any fighting. But then that is when both sides follow the rules. The current church is more like shoot and then get ready for another shot. Only much later is there any idea about aiming and having a true correct target.

    In the 80’s it was mostly people I didn’t know getting shot from guns and/or leaving. Others had outrageous statements made by them. It was a time of chaos. Misdirection to “all the off policy and out-ethics GO and execs trying to take over the Church,etc). The few I personally knew, I swallowed my integrity on (yes Scott, it left a bad taste and a heavy mass in your gut tht remains for a long time). This time, when I went back on lines I was reading of people and situations I personally knew, observed or were part of. There was no doubt at that time. I had to actually confront what I walked around and not ised the first time that dark shadow had raised up before me. I wouldn’t leave the trail this time. I would maintain my integrity at whatever cost.

    Thank you for your shoulder to shoulder stand with me. The journey is before us:

    Feel the presence all around
    A tortured soul
    A wound unhealing
    No regrets or promises
    The past is gone

    But you can still be free
    If time will set you free

    This occurs by each and every one of us confronting our own dragons. We all have them. We have crap to handle, we have a position in space to occupy as a causative action, we draw the line and make a stand, we be our own cause and the effect truly is freedom for all. Freedom to be, to do and to have as LRH left us in his legacy of the bridge he worked on.

    “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.”
    Ronald Reagan

    “Freedom is never dear at any price. It is the breath of life. What would a man not pay for living?”
    Mohandas Gandhi

    I have to say to anyone not fully out. There is a great catharsis even posting as I do. I can imagine it blossoms when fully free and I look forward to that day. Until then please allow me to contribute as I can. I ask for no quarter, I will do my part. I will be a part of the crew as we pass through stormy weather – even if I am just a scrubber or swabber. I will enjoy the golden sunshine after the storm passes.

  105. Luis, Tiziano and gang,
    That’s about the BEST news of the day!
    Keep hittig the Achilles heel.
    You guys rock!

  106. Scott,
    Luis Garcia’s letter refers to the LRH tape where he says we have to ‘upgrade’ the idea of what an SP is. There are truly, very, very few. DM’s Reverse Scn of course true to form downgrades it to include the vast majority.

    “…You should upgrade your idea of what an SP is. Man, meet one sometime! A real one! A real monster… Well, in all the time we’ve been around here we only had one SP that I know of. One real SP that was on staff… And I don’t know of another single SP that we’ve ever had on staff. Isn’t that interesting. You see all these SP orders and so on… Don’t throw it around carelessly, because this is an–a very exaggerated condition, SP.”
    “About Rhodesia,” lecture, 19 July 1966, Saint Hill Special Briefing Course tape transcripts.

  107. Scott Campbell


    Excellent Job. Fantastic.

    I bet it was completely affordable too!


  108. Let me be brash and compare Tiziano’s post to auditing. One of the phenomenon commonly voiced here is how much case gain can be had reading this blog and thinking about the subjects discussed.

    Auditing is mostly asking a question about a subject and continuing that question or process (if it is a series of questions), getting the person to look, getting the person to answer until the charge runs out and you get a cognition (an understanding) which brings about a release or clearing. (Some individuals as-is by inspection; they just cognite immediately, and the process is done, charge blown.)

    So, questions and subjects arise here. And it stirs up case and charge. And we muddle through the cognitive dissonance to gain a greater understanding. And just as many processes comprise each grade, many such understandings lead to a broader understanding of any particular subject or area. And to ability gained. Just because you now understand why you couldn’t communicate with Aunt Tinnie and are now completely able to and relaxed about doing such, doesn’t mean that you have reached that understanding and ability to communicate with Uncle Snoort. More processes needed. More questions asked, analyzed and answered. More looking, more understanding, more increased confidence and ability.

    All on a gradient.

    In the auditor’s code lie two items which will destroy a session: invalidation and evaluation. Both of these enter an alter-is into the session. If you have enough confidence and integrity, anyone can lay all the invalidation and evaluation they want in your lap, and you can handle it however you wish without being bothered. You know what you see; you know what this person said; you can compare what you know to what they said without difficulty.

    Most people reading this blog have had cognitions about personal integrity. Most people here have come to decisions about what to reveal about themselves or not. Most of these decisions are based in understanding of one’s personal situation. Some of the reasons may be based in pure justification and rationalization and/or timidity. But that’s for each person to come to terms with as he or she sees fit. It’s a matter of balance. It’s a matter of personal choice. It’s a matter of gradient. Or stages, if you would.

    Choice is senior to most things. You lose the ability to choose and you’ve lost more than personal integrity. Personal integrity cannot even exist without the ability to choose, so choice is senior.

    Another thing about auditing and processes, you can get overrun. You’ve had your cognition or your string of cognitions on a subject and then, for some reason, that gets evaluated or invalidated or just overrun. And blah! Trouble. Look at the trouble that occurred from overrunning the state of clear.

    Personal integrity is not based on what anyone knows or doesn’t know about you. The entire universe can believe they know you are Groucho Marx, and that would have absolutely no affect on your personal integrity. Personal integrity is personal. It’s not a matter for group agreement. It’s not subject to a vote.

    You can give or receive any communication you choose. It’s up to you. Your CHOICE. The vote can be twelve billion to one against you, but as long as that one is you, then fuck the twelve billion. That’s integrity. Your understanding, your choice. Your mock up. Your universe. Your right to participate or not.

    It doesn’t matter if the local militia needs every able-bodied person to join so “we can defeat the enemy,” if you don’t think it’s right, tough luck militia. And if those boys come into the local tavern, snarling and sneering at you while you drink your beer–if you can look at them, grant them beingness, grant them affinity, reality, communication and understanding, you really have risen above personal integrity.

    You’ve achieved a pan-determined integrity. You can see their rightness and their choices and their integrity, even if it diametrically opposes your personal decisions, choices and beliefs. And you’re good with it. No ridges getting built up, no “Now I’m supposed to’s!”

    Enough said, if I’m going to have to put pan-determined integrity in the efferdent with my personal integrity, I’m going to have to get a bigger glass.
    (if that makes no sense, there’s an earlier comment from me that will explain it.) But, since I don’t have a bigger glass, and I’m too lazy to go out and buy one, I’ll just put that pan-determined integrity out for the birds. It’s getting colder, so why not help them out?



  109. Ron is not the son of Evan and Jere Matlock, but he just told me to tell you that occasionally he reads Jere’s blog and enjoys it.
    Michelle Matlock

  110. Tiziano, you absolutely rock. I remember when the “Daniel thing” went down somebody said Jamie was very pregnant. She doesn’t look pregnant in the picture. If you had a baby, congratulations!

    The suppression of the 2D in the SO and in the culture of Scientology is my absolute pet peeve. “Thetans don’t have babies, bodies have babies”, “Thetans basically know (meaning young children don’t need their parents THERE to nurture them)”, even the thought of desiring sex, to not speak of masturbating, will get you labeled on a par with child molesters etc. etc.

    My sister (in the SO) forfeited having children “this lifetime”. She always looked forward to becoming a mom, couldn’t wait for it. She would have been an unbelievably good one. I mourn for the children she never had and what they lost out on. I have 2 nephews in the SO, both in their late 20s, both married to incredibly bright and sweet girls. I hope they’ll decide for themselves instead of letting the SO decide for them.

  111. Spot on, Tiziani! Congratulations Jamie!

    Each comment kept getting better and better. Dan, you nailed it on the withhold phenomenon and Scott and Lise elaborated on the effects. WOW! Then, Metaqual…out grade 3, indicated! Whew!

    What made me stay in Scientology for 30 years was the fact that I learned how to expand my space, beingness, knowledge and responsibility. I am not highly trained, nor have I done any OT levels. But, I do have a certainty on my own beingness. I know the game and how to play it. I fugured out the traps are only there for interest.

    Since I left, I have mingled with the rich, the poor, the criminal, the reformed, the very able and successful and all varieties in between. My observation is that simple me, has something that they don’t… an understanding about life, games and beingness. Scientology has made me a wealthy person amongst my friends. It has truly given me spiritual freedom and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

    When a person becomes PTS, they lose that certainty (which is fully rehabilitated upon disconnection). I’m sure there are may “successful” business people and OTs out there that are feeling trapped. Trapped by unrelenting donations and regging for IAS and Ideal Org. Trapped because your communication lines are not under YOUR control. Trapped because your thoughts are no longer yours. Individual ideas are not allowed and can put your loyalty to the church in question. Your thoughts can be revealed. They can prevent you or even another family member from going up the bridge. There is real cause for fear as your very survival is being threatened. You are being blackmailed into subservience. You have become a slave of the church.

    The only hope of recovery is to break free of the church, completely. The only power the church has over you is the power you give it. Do not negate the true power of yourself.

    Scientology is an incredible technology! By my own inspection I know that this is true. The church is the antithesis of Scientology. Out of respect for Ron, I loudly decry, from mountain tops if needed….the CHURCH is a FRAUD. It truly is an implant station preventing you from truly achieving Scientology results.

    Don’t get caught in that trap…Come out and PLAY!

  112. idle org,
    Reading your post and this comment: “Stupid shit you might’ve done, or are still doing” led me to a cognition.

    When I joined the 3D, the Church of Scientology, way back when, I became part of a group with both tacit and expressed mores (they were simpler then, the Offenses and Penalties – not the burgeoning, ever growing list that has been issued under DM since). Shortly after, within a year, I signed an SO contract, and assumed/agreed to those mores. They were a bit different, including later on a significant point on the 2D, with general Church policy being PL 11 Aug 67, Iss I, Second Dynamic Regulations and the formal cancellation of any attempt to regulate or interfere with the ‘private lives of individuals’ and this statement:
    “No Ethics Order shall be issued by reason of second dynamic activities. All Ethics Orders now in force relating to the second dynamic are cancelled.
    “No staff member may be punished, transferred or dismissed because of second dynamic activities.
    “No student or preclear may be suspended or dismissed because of second
    dynamic activities.”

    In contrast, the SO’s 2D Rules, a Flag Order, DID in fact regulate the private lives of individuals in that any pre-marital sexual activity was limited to a vague, less than ‘heavy petting’. (My own comm cycle with my ex-wife, in a position to know what this Julie Caetano authored FO intended was ‘below the belt, under the clothes’. But I digress.)

    Sea Org members are routinely punished for ‘out-2D’, even when that ‘2D’ is one’s personal experiences with another in the form of that other that is the body they animate. (Technically speaking, the body is in the category of ‘the other fellow’s universe’ in the Three Universes theory. One ISN’T one’s body now are they. )

    So, a ‘2D overt’ is what? Well, if one is following a moral code, it is whatever is agreed upon, it is a ‘now I’m supposed to’ behave in agreement with whatever that is, whether that’s actually stated clearly as to what it is, or what one THINKS it is, fishing around trying to pick up what everybody else seems to think it is. It’s arbitrary in other words. Both the moral code as expressed and the tacit one that seems to exist.

    Now, to the cognition, following my long runway. Ethics are NOT ‘morals’. The ‘comfort’ of following ‘now I’m supposed to’s’ and by that considering that you are on the ‘right’ path and ‘good’ (a moral person) exists among the so-called Kool-Aid drinkers. The LUXURY of being ethical is the opportunity of independent Scientologists.

    The difference I’ve found personally is not that I don’t get myself wrapped around a pole here and there, or mis-step, but that with the KRC and tools I learned as a Scientologist (and continue to learn) I have the power to observe and the ability to be ethical and resolve any situations I might get myself into.

    I have to pull up my own bootstraps. That seems to me to be one of the defining characterisitics of Independent Scientologists; they take responsibility for their Dynamics, personally, and come what may, mistakes, ‘trouble’ and all, they apply what they’ve learned and continue to learn, to themselves positively affect life. It is not somebody else’s hat
    or the generality of the ‘group’ to determine what is ‘good’ what is ‘bad’, but the being, applying his own reason, determining his actions according to his sense of ethics.

    Leaving that ‘comfort’ of the group mores as a measure of ‘rightness’, and assuming responsibility in fact for one’s life (including finding a competent CS/auditor/course – all of which exist in the field today, and which are expanding daily) as a self-determined ethic is quite a step.

    It’s a leap of faith – in oneself. It’s trust in oneself that they will be ethical, and if they falter on ethics, they know how to get back to their own integrity.

    It’s a step up, waaaaay up, from being merely ‘moral’ especially when that morality is in fact very un-ethical.

  113. Tony DePhillips

  114. Oh, I so can relate toyour point of view. My Stable datum is a policy that LRH wrote (yes this was from him, not another) He said that when things get so messy and so off the rails you are swimming in what to do. The thing to do is strip it down to basics.

    And that is happening in the field that is coming back to life now. Simply –
    Someone Knows how to Audit, Someone wants to get auditing, Get them together. Someone wants to get a course, someone has that course and knowledge and the ability to Supervise the study and it is happening……
    If we just continue, there will come a tipping point.
    Strip it Down to Basics — That was the quote.

    I just wish I knew what was truly from LRH and where the lawyers and DM have left their mark…..


  115. The posts on this blog are so powerful. I sometimes feel as though I were in session, blowing charge, cogniting like crazy. I come here each time with high expectations and am never disappointed. This, coming from someone who was not in touch with Scientology since I choose to leave with my declared husband in 1973. In most of the intervening years, there was no internet and by the time I got my first computer, I was so far removed from the subject (by design) that it never occurred to me to look. I felt I was doing well when the pain of being disconneced from my friends, family and my “spiritual salvation” didn’t cause me great pain on a daily basis. When I was directed to this blog I didn’t even remember many of the terms and references that Scientologists and I used to use so naturally. I had taught myself to leave those words out of my vocabulary. I am a class VI auditor and OTIII and I couldn’t even remember, at first, the definition of some of the basic terms I used to know and use and were a big part of how I saw and navigated through the world then. The amount of charge I blew initially was so great and so sudden that I thought I would lose my mind. When the dust cleared and I regained my place in time and space, I find myself a declared (I mean that in a good way) Independent Scientologist. I didn’t experience the COS under Miscavige, Black Dianetics, the RPF (at least not as it is practiced in the current COS) rampant out-tech or any of the other atrocities I’ve read about. It is my belief that the first whispers of things starting to go south, started in small ways about the time I was forced to leave. Certainly not enough to foretell what was to come years later.
    Oh my goodness. I didn’t start out intending to write all this.
    It must be the winds of change that I feel acutely blowing today. That I am able to see history unfolding before my very eyes gives me great pause. I find myself reflecting on my own track up to present time with Scientology.
    I stand in awe of all you powerful beings here. Proof always that Scientology works. Thank you to each and every one of you. I will forever be grateful that you helped me to get where I reside now. A much better place, I assure you.

  116. The reason I got out of the Church, stopped doing courses and talking to people that had become robots was that I wanted to THINK FOR MYSELF and not have anyone tell me what was wrong with me, what I should and shouldn’t be doing; basically invalidating my life, my dynamics and the way I run them. Funny…seems that’s exactly what’s being communicated on this particular post.

    After reading this post and many of the comments the clear message is that anyone that hasn’t “come out” was PTS, and lacked the integrity to handle “going public”. Well beware folks that you are alienating a HUGE public of Scientologists that love LRH, love the tech, don’t love DM and CofM and for whatever (unknown to you) personal reason/s are not able to or don’t want to go public and get declared for their views. I know a lot of public that have not come out that help the cause in many ways.

    This type of communication sounds a lot like what’s going on IN the church right now. This is my simple message…you might not consider what you’re saying as invalidation, evaluation, know best, make wrong and a lack of ARCU; but neither does DM and his minions when they’re preaching to us “being on board.”

    The attitude and communication from this blog should be INCLUSIVE, not EXCLUSIVE. If you only want folks involved that have “come out” then say so. If you want to be the epitomy of the real Scientology; ARC in its purest form, it’s got to be inclusive, not exclusive.

    Please don’t snap terminals.

  117. Stuff like that have been happening more and more, all the time. Further indication that you’re (we are all) on the right path!

    Fun stuff! Great posts by the way! 🙂

  118. Based on my having gone through the door, size 15 shoes, and need to lose a little weight… I’m suprised the door has hinges left at all! 😉 j/k

  119. Jim,

    Brilliant and oh so true!

    I know of an E/D who tried to practically bankrupt a public. When the public finally held the E/D accountable, proving out the massive condition violation, the E/D’s response was “I never apologize for trying to get somebody up the Bridge.”

    This despite extreme upset with the public’s family.

    Said E/D was in his moral “comfot” zone. (And way out-ethics!)

    Somebody once commented something on the order of “You’re being told you’re an OT Superman….but you still need permission to touch your own peepee???”

    And that about sums it up, right there.

  120. Maybe the message here is actually “Find out who you really are”?

  121. Marcy,
    You made me cry. Thank you! It’s a joy filled cry.

  122. nancy,
    “I just wish I knew what was truly from LRH and where the lawyers and DM have left their mark…..”

    I’ve had a rule of thumb since the beginning of this adventure in Dianetics and Scientology; if I personally am doing better, I’m more confident in my reaching out, my space is bigger, more Be, Do, Have, I like myself and those around me, those around me do better too, I feel a spring in my step, an incipient or full smile, a song, then I know it’s LRH’s Scientology.

  123. Tory Christman

    To each of you, this song IS for you!
    ((Please listen to it all—-it’s perfect for this thread!)) 🙂

    May this be a wonderful Holiday Season for ALL, with more and more
    truth and freedom arising, daily. Those trapped “in” can yap and yap
    about us, but just like a yapping dog, that’s all they can do. We can just
    turn up the volume and listen to the music, loving life, loving each other!
    YES! PLAY!! 🙂

  124. Michael, I love your spirit of play. I am guilty of under. Let me splain.
    In order to have a good game we need a fixed point to defend. Personal integrity is just knowing what you know (truth) and not compromising.
    It doesn’t mean that tomorrow when we play another game our truth won’t change (it may). But this game we will win if we don’t compromise.
    Its a good game. I’m just trying to tell the fence sitters to stop compromising truth as they know it. We can play the game and have fun doing it. When I was doing the OT levels I went in for a review as I got stuck. I wanted to know why as a static (thetan) I was the effect of charge (MEST). I didn’t get an immediate answer. It had to go up lines.
    I was told as an answer that it was ‘consideration’. I accepted that but then later I wondered why I wasn’t auditing ‘consideration’. Maybe truth is relative but without it I can’t play the game effectively. Love

  125. Jim, Thanks for the ack. I find myself crying too. It isn’t always joy filled but cleansing most times.
    I’m still at a loss as to how I am to pick up the threads of my life as an auditor again with no emeter, no materials, not enough money for said and a definite need for retraining.
    This may sound odd to some but what I really feel a calling for is to establish a place where elderly Scientologists have a safe, nurturing, joy filled place to come to when they are no longer physically able to care for themselves. Of course, I’m no longer a spring chicken myself but I still have plenty of spring left to help. I would love to partner with people who feel the urge to do something like this with me. I am open to discussion and imput. This would undoubtedly have to be a non-profit, charitable set-up as ex-staff and SO have no pensions forthcoming.
    Marsha Pearlman Sorensen Clear #2979 OTIII #876

  126. Enuf, I understand what you are saying. I also understand that there are many out there who aren’t yet ready to “come out.” Each is entitled to choose when, where and why they haven’t made that transition yet. I don’t have any negative judgements about that.
    My own viewpoint of what Taziano and others here have said is that once you’ve made that decision and have acted on it, the positives are far reaching and outweigh all the negatives you might have to confront. Not just for oneself but for the independent movement which is dedicated to maintaining and delivering standard LRH tech and policies. Furthermore, the more people who come out, the less support and enabling of the current suppresive church to continue it’s squirrel tech and all the other atrocities that go on there. There is freedom, support and best of all, the bridge is alive and well out here. The freedom to be and do anything you can imagine. Why not write a piece about the upsides of what it’s like for indies out here? Why not implor people to come down from the fence? I, personally, don’t take that as inval or eval. You must know that anytime someone leaves the “Church”, there are open arms here waiting to embrace and support them.
    Bottom line, there is no Scientology in the COM. It’s been gone for a long time. So really, what is there to cling to? Eventually, everyone will have to leave. Weather they want to or not. The elaborate “store front” that is called the “Church of Scientology” will come tumbling down. The sooner the better.
    So, I simply implore any of you who are still hanging on by your fingernails, just let go and stop supporting what “isn’t” anymore.

  127. Being that the 2nd dynamic is one of the most abberated dynamics it is easy to see that the corruption of 2D policies was a way for DM to control the public. By re-creating a Victorian Age within Scientology he has collapsed the second dynamic completely and created a missed withhold of nothing phenomenon.

    As one participates in Scientology reactive thought is diminished allowing one to be more moral and possess higher reasoning abilities. As ethical beings we should be able to act accordingly without external influence from the church. A church that now takes ones confessions and holds them up to public ridcule.

    It is of greater survival to have a leap of faith in oneself than to have blinding faith in the church.

  128. Wow Valkov…didn’t expect that response, quite passive aggressive actually. So it’s wrong for me to have that viewpoint? Is that what you’re saying? Just be clear and don’t hold back. The message I’m talking about is ARCU and knowing your public.

  129. Hi Marcy,
    Thanks for the comment. I don’t disagree with what you’re saying at all, my point is that people have to do what they’re going to do when they want to do it, that’s it. No opinions, no judgments, no labeling or profiling, no snide remarks, just let the person do it when they want to do it, it’ll all come out in the end. My question is, who is the public we’re talking to here? Is it the person onlines currently but knows somethings stinks in Denmark? Is is the person whose not onlines but not out? Or is it the ex SO? Just blanket posts like this don’t communicate to me and I know that there is a lot more like me around. It comes across very judgmental. That’s all. Thanks! Peace and Love!

  130. I am glad you post and I often find that your words are very profound. You have correctly surmised that coming out fully is even more wonderful. For me it was just like a session and having a huge layer of suppression lift and my space expanded greatly. I look forward to your unveiling and your future posts.

  131. I agree Nancy,

    I think we’ve come full circle back to what Dianetics and later Scientology was in the beginning.

    Back to the actual basics of the subject which is to help self and others.

    The Rube Goldberg device that calls itself the “Church of Scientology” will eventually fail.

  132. Your communications are so ful of art and wisdom. I enjoy them so much, effervessence and all.

  133. Alex Braverman

    I am very, very impressed with what I have been reading here. Tiz, you’re the greatest, don’t ever stop creating wonderfully composed mind candy for everyone to enjoy – while we learn about the universe around us, and each other.

    Warmest Regards,

  134. I guess that those like me below the radar should fly a higher altitude to be known as scientologist that no longer agrees with current church. Purpose to de pts. Right?
    Usually I would say, no problem. I have anyway no single person inside current Scn I have relations with. No friend, no relative. And all my relatives know that I had been inside. They never had any contact with Scn. Even my employer knows that I had been on staff before I got to him. Thus I would have no known negative impact telling everybody that I had been scientologist. But, our current government is a bit paraniod about scientology. If a company is a goverment contractor this company has to proove that this company is in no way connected to Scn. Usually companies like ex scientologists, as those are loyal, seldom sick and hard workers. But here in this country they have some difficulty with this. Thus to stay below the radar is actually pro survival.
    Would you suggest that I fly at a higher altitude?

  135. Marsha, I was very moved by your posts and your wins.

    Having worked in a skilled nursing facility, I do duplicate your current goals. I reached for this industry because my family was getting older and starting to have medical conditions and I wanted to understand how to deal with them.

    I learned a lot but thought the only thing missing was the tech. Simple 2WC, locationals and assists would have greatly improved their quality of life. I agree that it is very needed and I would be interested in what you come up with.

  136. I found this post had very little to do with make wrong and inval and a lot to do with how much Scientology exists outside of the church. Many posters made statements along the line of handling it in a way that is right for you. Even more expressed the sense of freedom and release that came about when they did come out, contrary to the “you’re going to rot in hell” ideology promoted by the church.

    Aren’t we, who post, allowed to think for ourselves as well? Just because I have a differing view does not mean that I think less of you. It is the differing views that have allowed me to expand my own viewpoint. Hopefully, I can do this for another as well.

  137. Tiziano,
    Thank you for your post. Very inspiring and motivating. Here’s the bottom line for me. Being pretty self determined and up the bridge a ways I truly appreciate and see wisdom in much of your post and the post’s of other “outies” desiring everyone to join them. On the other hand I have my own agenda and am operating on what in my universe is the greatest good from my viewpoint. Others are looking at the greatest good from their viewpoint also, and the two points of view are not necessarily identical. For that reason anything other than granting of beingness and understanding becomes counterproductive the goals of both as it sets up a bit of op term phenomena. In my case I am totally granting your point of view beingness and understand your enthusiasm and sense of urgency that I and the others that may have their own reality come out in spite of a surrender of self determinism.

  138. Tory Christman

    To anyone sitting with their reasons why they are agreeing
    to suppression in *any* way, here’s my own personal message:
    Think: Rosa Parks. 🙂

  139. Sarge,

    Great response. I love reading something and thinking, “Ah, yes!”

    In one of the study tapes LRH talks about a balance in study, how you let people know of the dangers of going out to sea so they can prepare and anticipate and respond. But, to limit the cautionary information so the individual isn’t so frightened he can’t go out sailing.

    You’re right about games. About fixed points to defend. About establishing terminal points from which we generate energy. Games do need barriers. And energy. And a spirit of play always involves having something to play with. So, we’ll turn my caveat into a cravat, worn loosely, a bit rakish, but with panache.


  140. Sarge,

    I also loved that you were asking questions in your auditing rather than just taking things for granted.

  141. Sapere Aude
    Yes I am that Sam, Sam I am 🙂
    I don’t know how old your children are but if I could humbly proffer advice it would be to trust them. Mine were 13, 11 and 8 at the time I ‘came out’ and they are the reason I attempted at first to stay under the radar (to protect them). Eventually I realised that the best way to protect them would be to take a stand and ensure that they could never in the future fall victim to the C of M. I spoke to each child individually on a level they could understand and tried as best as I could to prepare them for any eventuality. The eventualities were far worse than I could have anticipated. Teachers and family friends they had known and trusted for an entire lifetime disconnected from them and forced or coerced their children to do likewise. It was a stunning blow. However, my children made new friends, soberly took in these experiences and learned valuable lessons and, armed with just enough information made personal decisions that if this was what ‘Scientology’ in the C of M was about, they wanted nothing more to do with it.
    It was hard. It was painful. No parent wants to see their child have to suffer that kind of pain. But the reward is that now they are really safe as opposed to the illusion of safety.
    Life gets better every day. The children are flourishing and prospering now in such a stellar contrast to the way they were before that I have come to realise that they were in fact very PTS by mere fact of their connection to the ‘church’ via their parents.
    If it helps, on my own journey through this madness I finally understood that it was not I who would hurt my children with my actions but the ‘church’ who would (and did) attempt to use them as currency.
    In the final analysis, I realised that I no-longer wanted my children to be at risk, that I owed it to my friends to try to get them out and that if I didn’t do something about this situation then the biggest crime would be that eventually we would lose our technology altogether and thus our children would never have any ‘choice’ about Scientology in the future.
    So I gritted my teeth, armed myself with LRH tech and gathered my children to me snarling ‘over my dead body!’
    Over the next year I learned that DM and his minions would stop at nothing (and I mean NOTHING) to use my family as leverage to silence and control me. It was this experience that gave me a very firm reality on the true evil I was dealing with.
    Steve Hall sagely posted on his website the most basic truth in this entire matter, one which stayed on my conscience daily and became such that I could ignore it no-longer:
    “There comes a time where silence becomes betrayal”
    (Steve if you’re reading this, Thank you for the gentle push I needed to recover from my own PTSness).
    Sapere Aude. be, do and have what YOU want to be, do and have. That includes the freedom to love your children without fear.

    All my love
    The smiling Sam who can’t wait to visit Casablanca for some more fishin’.

  142. Jim,

    Thanks. I needed that.

  143. Tiz
    I know you know I know that you know that we know and you know that I know that you know that I know.
    I SEE YOU BOTH TOO and love you ‘just the way you are’ 😀

  144. Jim,

    Love your insight.

  145. Thanks Tony
    That’s what I was trying to do and the damned thing didn’t work.
    DFB – love the song.

  146. Marcy,

    Welcome back to the fray. Enjoyed your story. You are definitely not alone.


  147. Sam,

    Thank you. Mine are older, onlines and have their own network in the flock. I only wait for when I will be physically near enough to them to have some sit down, talk, read and discuss. I don’t worry about their decisions. I just want them aware of what will be occurring. Whatever references I need to go over to help them have a good grounding to hold their position in space. This will occur in the coming few months.

    I agree with Steve on silence becomes betrayal. I don’t remain silent and will continue to post, inform and help in this motion.

    I think it would be harder for you as yours were younger. Children at that age see and feel when something is just plain wrong. They may not know the LRH data involved but the simple fact of someone disconnecting for nothing done by them will be a mystery. I see some of the greatest suppression, in this alteration of what LRH would have wanted, is that the younger generation won’t even fully have access to true source materials. Squirrel application, lost study tech, verbal and false data stopping the actual flow through the awareness characteristics of the bridge.

    Young staff, bless their heart, with no location into the big picture of culture, education, history, wisdom only seeing an abomination for an example of how to handle people. Reading a reference and then thinking you know it because you parrot the correct answer in the drill. With no context knowledge how can they ever duplicate LRH written or spoken word. He was very educated and used examples which will be totally not comprehended by the younger uneducated crowd. A word or two sentence description does not give one an understanding of the Age of Reason, Age or Enlightenment, the US revolution and Founding Father documents. Without this how can the 4th dynamic be understood. Shame on the parents for condoning this. But, it is easier to make them gullible little machines. Some will become little tyrant clones – no mercy for them. The others will still be correctable when we have the time.

    I applaud your stand for your children. I am already free to love my children without fear. I simply want them also to be free to love without fear. It will be their choice and I won’t be near them to bolster what will inflow. Peace will prevail. Justice will prevail. The sun will rise and you will get to do some more fishin’.

    Someday, we will meet you smiling Sam. I will forever remember your good intentions to help me along the way. Till then keep smilin!

  148. Good luck Sapere Aude.
    I look forward to the day we can meet and have a chat over some good fishin’ without a care in the world with the sun shining and the world smiling.

  149. What fun! Thanks Tory 😀

  150. M,

  151. Tony DePhillips

    Hi Karen,
    I just realized that this is a huge point of having to now disconnect from disaffected people. See, the church wants to declare lots of people SP but cannot due to the huge out-point of having that many people declared SP. So because of that they have to declare someone “disaffected” and have people disconnect from a disaffected. The koolaides will then spot this huge out-point hopefully. It sounds like some of them are waking up, based on your post Karen.

  152. Enuf,
    I really DO understand what you’ve expressed here. Thank you for your post and your sincere expression.

  153. Karen #1

    Looks to me like Corporate Scientology is about a hairsbreadth from going so far, that everyone left in the “church” would be somehow connected to some “undesirable”. Kind of like the “degrees of separation” thing with Kevin Bacon. (of course we, out here, laugh at that one because the main “undesirable” is David Miscavige himself.)

    They are really going to achieve one of their “supposed ” worst nightmares.
    No one left who “qualifies” to get services.

    DM is actually slowly strangling himself with his own thong…. er… nuttiness.. er… suppression… er…

    At this point the only way David Miscavige will be able to prevent himself from being “destroyed by others” is to do it himself.

    Sorta like David Miscavige tying a rope to a pole, and wrapping the other end around his neck, and then spinning around frantically to try to get away. The more he becomes trapped the harder and faster he “spins”.

    Can’t see that going at all well for him.


  154. EnufAlready,

    You said,
    “This is my simple message…you might not consider what you’re saying as invalidation, evaluation, know best, make wrong and a lack of ARCU; but neither does DM and his minions when they’re preaching to us “being on board.””

    Are you actually comparing the vast generalization of independent commenters here, as well as the intention of Tiziano’s article, with David Miscavige?

    And what’s with labelling people passive-aggressive?

    Re-read your posts. They include a fair amount of make-wrong from a pretty solid angle, and a vast generalization or two: “Well beware folks that you are alienating a HUGE public of Scientologists that love LRH…”

    Where do you get that idea? From where I’m sitting, the purpose of this thread is to assist those who might be stuck in a “maybe” and really need a good, honest nudge to get out of that ugly mess.

    Those who aren’t ready to leave can continue reading and learning here. Tiziano is sharing his view. And from the looks of things, he’s by no means alone.

  155. Jim

    Yes. Nicely put.

    And in the light of what you have said, I would like to forward the following…

    “Responsibility, Definition of

    Responsibility: The nonrecognition and denial of the right of intervention between oneself and any being, idea, matter, energy, space time, or form, and the the assumption of full right of determination over it.” LRH
    (HCOPL 2 May 1985)


  156. Thank you Jim, appreciate the nice ack.

  157. Tony,

    Being labeled “disaffected” is a third party action.

    You’re pretty much considered “radioactive” by any goodie two shoes public who doesn’t want to f*ck with their “eternity”.

    That’s how I spent my last few years “in”.

    Problem is.

    That you eventually get so many “radioactive” particles concentrated in one area that they eventually form a critical mass.

    If you know what I mean 😉

  158. Yes Karen, the second dynamic is “hot’. The other area I’ve observed that is “hot” is money. DM and the second dynamic, DM and money – I do not know where else he is focused. Certainly not on theta things like LRH’s works that help beings go free and re-acquire ability and sanity undreamed of.


  159. Scott Campbell

    Yeah Jimmy,

    And LRH even said he was reserving judgment on THAT guy pending further investigation!

    They just got him off of staff right away as a necessary precaution.


  160. Scott Campbell


    I just have one question. What is this about getting yourself “wrapped around a pole here and there”?

    Is that some kind of euphemism?


  161. Scott Campbell


    I get what you’re saying. Actually, the best advice I received on this subject was from Mike Rinder. At one time I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and some others were pushing me to come out from “under the radar” as well.

    When I was all twisted up about this and sought Mike’s council after being referred to him by Karen De La Carriere , he just told me (paraphrase) “Scott, what I care about is you. When or even if you want to come out publicly at any time in the future and how you handle your own cycle is entirely up to you. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need any help”.

    I felt a tremendous relief after that. Prior to speaking with Mike, I had already determined to avail myself of the abundant help available in the Independent Field on the advice of Jim Logan and had started a cleanup program. I could not have done it on org lines because of my prohibitively high freeloaders debt and the fact of having to compromise my own personal integrity in order to even get back on org lines.

    Later, (thanks to a fantastic “cleanup” by Trey Lotz) when I had gained perspective and knowingness, and all my ducks were in a row – I finally felt safe enough to come out.

    So you see, it is worth it to listen to the advice of wise council. I cannot emphasize enough the tremendous relief AND release I (and my family) have experienced by deciding to abandon the lonely life of isolated denial that many Scientologists have experienced after withdrawing from the Institutional C of S and reconnecting openly and honestly with our true group (actual Scientologists).

    That being said, there is nothing wrong with what Tiziano said in his post. Tiziano KNOWS that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!”

    And so do I.


  162. Sapera Aude and Sam – you both spoke my heart – your thoughts and plans (Sapere Audo) are mine – at the right time, I want to meet both of you. Till then.

  163. Tiziano and Jamie, you guys are the coolest.

  164. Let me clearly remove the “passive” part of it, then.

    No, I mean that is the message to those who are still sitting on the fence. According to your post, you are not one of those.
    Sooner or later those will need to face their own spectatorism, and decide if they want to continue being robotic.
    There are folks posting here under pseudonym, for good reasons. I am myself, although that was once my actual name. Each person needs to decide for him/herself, when to act But if anyone thinks they can go on indefinitely “deciding not to decide”, I will say from my own experience, that way is a slow death.

    Does that ARC break someone? Should Tiziano keep his mouth shut and not speak his feelings to appease those whose TRs might be weak? The “Scientologists” who are supposed to be such great “communicators?” TRs in at least, if not Grade O? Sure, I’ve guessed the Co$ no longer actually delivers those products. All the more reason to get out while the gettin’s good.

    I think what is being said here is a reminder that one will eventually have to decide and worse yet, act on the decision! Of course, don’t panic, not just yet, not just yet, no-one here will “out” you, you fence sitters. But you are PTS, and I think you know it. How could you not?

    Hey, I could be wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time in my life! In the meantime, fence-sitters, Find out who you really are! And confront what you can. That’s all any of us can do. But remember that Co$ Management is counting on you to give up your integrity and power of choice, and remain PTS and robotic towards them. They’re counting on it!

  165. You are already “out”, if I understand your post correctly.

    The post is for those who are “disaffected”, but still “in”. It doesn’t apply to you.

  166. Hello Enuf.

    Tiziano’s post, and those along this same theme, always get me thinking about my own situation. And I welcome that. An invitation to self-analysis.
    And I think they serve a purpose and move the ball further down the field.

    I think that posts like this cause some unease or defensivness when we are protecting our own “false identity” in our daily lives, not the pseudonym we are using.

    For some this post coincides with their floating needle, and for some it gets a “read”. Societal or group analysis aside, that “read” may have to do with a button on the perception of being judged or it may have to do with something else. It doesnt hurt to look. I have often used a feeling of “uncomfortableness” to find out what was behind that feeling as a way to diminish pride and/or ego. It hasnt failed me yet.

    Whatever the case, I feel such posts have a role and welcome them. It pushes the borders, perhaps, but i dont think it crosses the line.

    For some, there are practical reasons for remaining below the radar. I understand that. But for others this post may speak to their conscience. It will have an effect.

    I see Tiziano and Jamie looking right into my eyes. I am looking right back and smiling.

  167. W*O*W ! ! And, thanks. Hallelujah!

  168. My comment was to Marcy. H

  169. Good points.

    I remember Paul Armstrong.


    There’s so many viewpoints, a lot of people haven’t lived the best, nor the worst, but live all the inbetween.

    All I know is Scientology will go on. And that people who like it and find good from it, will continue to do so, and trip over all the problems that others in the same subject throw in front of them.

    LRH has even commented on this.

    One thing I am so happy about, is that the internet allows communication so quickly to whomever chooses to look and listen to other Scientologists, the Scientologists outside the official ranks.

    It is so odd that official Scientologists have institutionalized NON Grade 0 (zero) enforced on themselves.

    DM’s own case is the movement’s problem, and his case gain lack of, and lack of appreciating the case gain that for instance was made during Martin Samuels’ period in central northern CA, one has to, even DM has to, recognize when people are getting case gain from LRH’s lower grades.

    When one’s getting good sessions, all tailormade, one thinks, to one’s own case, one for sure feels great with the results. And LRH says the lower grades will seem to be tailor made to each of us, when we’re setup for them.

    Naw, believe me, in context, I think when delivered to a “set up” case, for sure the lower grades are case gain producing.

    I think Scientology’s gonna continue, and I think with blogs like this that allow free communication on the BIG current problems in official Scientology, that communication on this and the other blogs on Scientology, will hopefully have an impact.

    I’m fine on people who want Scientology have their wins from Scientology.

    I’m more a Flow 3 tolerant person, “Would you want others to have [their wins] in Scientology?” Sure, I want them to, and I’m happy that they can reverse some of the weird and bad effects caused by poor officials (DM seems to be the key one) in Scientology, as much as possible also.

    On “enforced disconnection”, I believe ex official Scientologists just naturally using good comm, “Good roads and good weather”, to their official Scientology family, and just be decent and kind to their family, makes it thus seem to the official Scientologists that the “Suppressed Person Rundown” end phenomenon is taking place.

    “Enforced disconnection” is a 3rd dynamic wrong indication that provokes usually anger and outlist phenomena on those that official Scientology impose it on.

    I think acting back with good roads good weather and kindness, is a good strategy since it doesn’t then play into the wrong indication delusion about the ex Scientologists who are supposedly supposed to be irrational and bad.

    When the official Scientology (DM) wrong indication rewriting of history comes flying at ex official Scientologists, don’t get angry, don’t go outlist phenomenon. Do L4BRs on each other, or just spot the wrong indications as they come at you, and be normal citizen good roads and good weather, and TWTH precept 20, and Two Rules to Happy Living, back at them.

    They’ll see that the independents are being BETTER Scientologists than they themselves are.

    Marty, these videos are excellent.

  170. Samuel and Sam – till we meet, and little bubbly on me to celebrate the occasion. Until then we shall be like traveler’s on the same large ship, going together forward, just haven’t bumped into each other in body mode. Travel safely for now and enjoy the show. You have both made my trip more enjoyable. Though we walk alone, we are still together.

  171. Thank you for your response, Chuck. Well said.

  172. Michael, I’m just going to ack you here as I’ve run out of brilliant things to say. I think we’re on the same page. Love

  173. George,

    I would suggest that you keep your own counsel and make the most pro-survival decision as you see fit, per your own circumstances.

    Tiziano’s article is not a make-wrong, but rather a help flow for those who are considering walking away.

    It’s a very truthful message he shares, with the best of intentions to help those who deem it okay for themselves to leave the church, per their own circumstances.


  174. I see that the “target public” is indeed undefined. If you are already out of the C0$, it is not you.
    Apparently you took my comment as directed at you and your post. I actually don’t see why.
    You seem to already know “who you really are”, if you have left the Co$ as you say you did. Sounds like you may have some unresolved issues.

    I read Tiziano’s post as addressed to those individuals who are “disaffected” but have stayed onlines for other reasons.. They are still paying “lip service” to the C0$ party line, dodging as much as possible perhaps, but still contributing to the criminal donations campaigns when cornered, still going through the motions and pretending they are good members of the Church when in their hearts they know they are no longer such. Their hearts are not in it, but they stay “in” for other reasons, like fearing losing family or other social connections if they leave. Blood runs thicker than water, it’s said for good reason. If one has family who are still “in”, that is a horrible set-up for an apparently unresolvable inner conflict. They think it is better to stay silent than to communicate. Been there done that. It is not better. Pardon my bluntness, it is a slow suicide. It may be necessary to keep one’s own council at times, but not if one isn’t seeing for one’s self a “light at the end of the tunnel” that one is actually working towards and is achievable. Not “waiting for Santa Claus”, as Transactional Analysts call it.

    LRH spoke to that when he said “When in doubt, communicate”.
    Keeping one’s own council when loved ones are involved, can actually be a big mistake. They deserve better. They deserve truth from you.
    “Communication is the universal solvent.”

    Or as the saying from the gospel of Thomas has it:

    “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
    If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

  175. Nice pic! Nice post! Bello!!!

  176. I met Rosa Parks once. She told me the reason she sat down on that bus where she sat down and refused to give up her seat was not out of any great altruistic purpose. She said that that day she was just exhausted. Sick and tired and exhausted. And she wasn’t getting up for anybody. She didn’t care who told her to get up and move. And then it turned into … what it turned into! 🙂

  177. Concerned Citizen

    The inevitable conclusion from reading this post is that this group considers the below fact
    Under the radar = on the fence
    On the fence= PTS
    This is unavoidable with the subtitl : “A message to everyone who is under the radar”
    So according to this logic if you are not using your first name and loudly proclaiming your independence, you are PTS.
    My response as someone under the radar is
    When I first read the post, my reaction was that of our list phenomena. It took a bit to simmer down and dissect the situation.
    For those of you who may take offense, I’m stating simply a fact – labeling someone PTS is by definition telling them what to think about their case, that is Evaluation. Doing so publicly is telling other’s what to think of that person’s case. It is a practice rampant in the Church. It is not a pro-survival action, the hallmark of a good auditor or MAA and indeed of a good Scientologist is his ability to think with the fundamentals and to use them to handle the PC, Ethics particle, junior or public individual. i.e. Audit the PC in front of you, not some other PC or “every PC”.
    There may well be some people who are operating at effect, perhaps they need to be individually addressed. Or at least a clear acknowledgement of the fact that some of us may choose to remain under the radar for valid reasons. – They DO EXIST. Should be included in this post.
    For an MAA to decide what the greatest good is for the person he is handling is a violation of ethics tech, Plain and simple.
    Also importantly, do not create another us vs. the situation. This kind of blanket statement is liable to have that effect.
    The concept of Bodhisattva is a very interesting concept; I doubt you’d call one of them PTS.
    In similar fashion to them, some of us think there are some people trapped in who are worth salvaging.
    I know of many. I would hope that if I were mired in, trapped in the Sea Org, someone cared enough to hold a lifeline out for me. I do so for others, for many of them, I’m their only chance of exposure to this truth. It is not easy, but it is working.
    Also adjudicating the particulars of a case based on third party reports or assumption can lead you to wrong whys and a lack of understanding of the scene.
    I had hope that one’s decisions and one request for anonymity would be respected, especially when made clear from the get go. How I play this game is up to me personally and as long as I do my part I reserve that right. My own spiritual advance has not been hindered and I’m not at effect simply because I don’t capitulate to someone else’s’ ideal scene. I have a right to decide what the greatest good is for me.

  178. Concerned Citizen

    Also importantly, do not create another us vs. the situation
    Was meant to read, Us vs them.

  179. I agree CC.

    Labeling someone PTS when they are not is as bad or worse than ignoring an actual PTS condition.

    Also creating antagonism by making others wrong for not being as enlightened as one is about the current scene can also create a PTS condition.

    My suggestion is if you are talking to a Scientologist who appears to be a “kool-aid drinker” or “brain washed” is to communicate at their level of reality and talk about the weather instead of getting in their face.

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