Category Archives: disconnection

The Enemy Formula: Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior

Coming this month.

Preface to The Enemy Formula:

“Use the shotgun”, Kerry Riley advised in his thick Oklahoman drawl, “it’s better they be picking shards of glass out of their foreheads for a spell till the Sheriff arrives than to have corpses on your hands.” Kerry preferred that I use my double-barrel, over-under shot gun – “use the heavier buckshot, not that chicken-shit bird shot” – when the Mexican Mafia started surveiling my home in preparation for a drive by shooting. One of their offshoots had tagged my car port with their death sentence – three pitch fork prongs up, with stars above each one, signifying I am soon to arrive in one of three places: jail, the hospital or the morgue. That is how the lead investigator for the San Patricio County District Attorney’s Office interpreted it anyhow.  Until I helped deliver some hoods to jail, I would continue to guard my wife’s slumber at night, sitting in our carport with my shotgun across my knee.

The deputy chief of the local police department was puzzled by all this. He wanted to know what I’m doing in South Texas investigating gangs for Riley’s tri-county “conscience of the Coastal Bend” newspaper when I was once an international executive in Los Angeles. I reminded the man that I sort of made it my mission when the Crips nearly killed a six year old girl with a Russian assault rifle during a drive by shooting, and it seemed apparent that local law enforcement, including himself, were too intimidated to do anything effective about it.  He smirked as if unaffected by my swipe at his lack of courage and added, “a man with your history could do a lot better than this.” Without acknowledging the implication that he had looked into my past life – I replied, “you may be right on that score”.

I pulled away in my pick up truck, turned up Wyclef Jean’s cover of Knocking on Heaven’s Door and drove into the shadows of another steamy, gulf coast summer night: “I remember playing my guitar in the projects, a product of the environment, pour some liquor for those who passed away.”

“Good question” I thought, “what am doing in a place like this?” I contemplated the answer as I drove an isolated stretch of highway. I’m investigating gangs because they are the bullies in this county – shooting up innocent folk – that’s easy.  That’s what I do, that’s what I’ve always done. I’ve got to defend to the death in order to survive. “My dad taught me the American dream, baby, you can be anything you want to be, if I did it, y’all could do it.”

But, the cop’s unasked question nagged me, “how could you be here doing that when you are dead?”  If he had looked my name up on the Internet – as he obviously had –  a number of sites, including Wikipedia, listed me as deceased. But, I was breathing and creating chaos in San Pat county to boot.  That was after the Church of Scientology had effectively pronounced me dead. That’s what happens when you up and leave unannounced, even after twenty-seven years of service. Excommunicated – can’t speak to another living Scientologist, or any professional contact you may have made during that time. Those are the rules and I had agreed to play by the rules. So, yeah, I guess I am dead. “I feel a dark cloud coming over me, so poor, so dark, it feels like I’m knocking on heaven’s door.”

Then I thought about the “why South Texas?” part of the question.  Easy. It is the furthest point geographically in the contiguous US from the two main Scientology centers I worked at for almost three decades.  There is unlimited space, and plenty of uncorrupted coast line. After nearly a quarter century of fighting Scientology’s legal and public relations battles, all I was looking for was a little peace of mind. And I found where to get it. “Would someone take these guns away from here, take these guns from the street, Lord, I can’t shoot my brothers anymore.”

 As I pulled up to my little bungalow on the bay, I admitted to myself that I was certain only about the last answer, why South Texas. Then, the dichotomy hit me – if I came here for peace, what on earth am I doing at war again? I walked out onto the small deck behind the house and lit a menthol. I looked at the moon reflecting off the wind swept water, then at the stars. I felt melancholic, but did not know why. I was contemplating who I really was.  I found myself humming Clef’s tune, and singing lightly its final lyrics, “Please put down your heat, Oh Lord, To my brothers that’s on the corner, Oh God, Ay, get out quick or you too will be knocking on heaven’s door.”

    —-

The Psychopath Test

References:

Judgment

Sitting In Judgment

I am adding The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson to my recommended reading list.   This short excerpt from What Is Wrong With Scientology explains why:

Ironically, perhaps the best way to understand the most fundamental flaw in the Scientology system of dealing with the influence of sociopaths is to read a book that touches on corporate Scientology’s vehement, costly protests against the alleged failure of the field of psychiatry to do the same.  In The Psychopath Test, Ronson chronicles a member of corporate Scientology’s Citizens Commission on Human Rights (a group established to “clean up the field of mental healing”) and his quest to free an allegedly falsely labeled psychopath from a United Kingdom mental institution.

Ronson becomes fascinated with the apparent terrible injustice of “Tony’s” (pseudonym) incarceration.  As Ronson researches the matter in greater depth, he comes to find the Bob Hare psychopath test, or checklist, rather rational and workable.  The more time Ronson spends with Tony, the more he begins to doubt the fellow’s sanity against the psychopath test.  Out of curiosity, Ronson puts the test to use on a businessman who is unrelated to the matter of Tony.  When he completes the analysis, Ronson shares his condemning findings with a fellow journalist.  His colleague points out that Ronson only spent a couple hours with the target, and perhaps his journalistic “skill” of catching a target out on lurid admissions, and his preconceived notions of guilt, played a part in his finding.  Ronson, in his honest and entertaining style, rides the rollercoaster of enthusiastic certainty to self-deprecating doubt in his own and others’ use of the psychopath test.

Ultimately, Ronson causes the reader to consider that while there is a tremendous, accurate compilation of information that helps us detect sociopathy, can any one of us be trusted with the power to judge and sentence anyone else against that information?  Are any of us worthy of the God-like power to condemn another to a life of quarantine and isolation?  Do we, in wielding such a powerful tool of knowledge, tend to take on the characteristics of the sociopath when we sit in judgment?

Ronson seems to wind up in much the same place L. Ron Hubbard did when he published this statement: “I have come to find that man cannot be trusted with justice.”  While Hubbard persevered and constructed an elaborate system of justice intended to overcome that fatal flaw of humankind, for whatever reason, his lack of trust was proved justified by his own creation.

Ultimately, though, L. Ron Hubbard said that the only guarantee that one would not wind up on the receiving end of a sociopath’s club was to understand how to identify one in the first place.  And that conclusion was echoed by Martha Stout.  The founder of Scientology and his long-time nemeses in the field of mental health ended up agreeing on one unifying principle: When it comes to the havoc others can wreak upon one’s life, the best protection is the truth – know it, and it shall set you free.

And so my recommended remedy in dealing with the very real problem of sociopathy, or the suppressive person, is as follows:

  • Learn for oneself how to evaluate the worthiness and value of one’s fellows.
  • Never forfeit your judgment to some authority, no matter how apparently wise and judicious, when it comes to judging the merits of others.
  • Strive to be worthy of the trust of those you care about.

 

Dissociation and Denialism

Disconnection in the church of Scientology is as blatantly applied as ever; even while it is vehemently denied.  It is denialism, and a sort of dissociation, playing out in real time before our eyes.  If you haven’t seen it already, please read this story concerning the great pianist Mario Feninger and the wonderful soul Allen Barton, Mario Feninger Disconnects From Help.  It demonstrates denialism and dissociation in living color.

I have been closely following this matter for some time.  I came very close to initiating fundraising for Mario on this blog.  The only reason I did not was because Mario made it very clear to Allen that he would prefer not to receive the inevitable blowback of being associated with our types.  The story is very competently told by Ortega and it speaks for itself, so I will not focus on the details of Mario’s plight.

Instead, I will focus on the journey of Allen Barton (for related earlier post see,  Beverly Hills Playhouse.)   Look at what his simple act of kindness and care has wrought.   Examine the responses he received – disconnections, while denying ‘disconnection’ is an active policy – from Scientologists.  Consider their ‘rationale.’   Consider the factors that resulted in such obvious denialism.

Is that denialism, and the perpetuation of dissociated behaviors that it justifies, limited solely to the ‘Disconnect Policy’?   Consider that, before you knee-jerk a respone that the immediate impulsive response  itself may in some measure  be influenced by a form of denialism.

Also consider this description of denialism that I once posted on this blog under the title Denialism:

[From] Michael Specter, Denialism, Penguin Books 2009:

We have all been in denial at some point in our lives; faced with truths too painful to accept, rejection often seems the only way to cope. Under those circumstances, facts, no matter how detailed or irrefutable, rarely make a difference.  Denialism is denial writ large — when an entire segment of society, often struggling with the trauma of change, turns away from reality in favor of a more comfortable lie…

Unless data fits neatly into an already formed theory, a denialist doesn’t really see it as data at all.  That enables him to dismiss even the most compelling evidence as just another point of view.

Sitting In Judgment

 

In December 2012 I posted an essay on this blog suggesting that  judgmentalism is a negative  trait that Scientologists ought take care to curb.  This blog is frequented in the main by former members of the church of Scientology who still consider themselves Scientologists.  These are people that have been out of the organization for years and who profess that Scientology ought not be used to control and dominate the lives of others.  Nonetheless, a popular counter-position posted in response to my essay was that ‘labeling, and judgmentalism, is just fine in and of itself – the only problem with such practice is inaccuracy of the labeling.’   Even years after their participation in the organization, many Scientologists considered a judgmental attitude a positive virtue provided it is done in keeping with their own standards of accuracy.  The most zealous proponents of that idea resorted to ad hominem attacks on me for raising such issues, and ultimately disconnected from me.

I do not contend that the labels Scientology promotes usage of are inaccurate or harmful provided they are used in a professional manner as initially intended upon creation.   Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard created numerous constructs against which the mind, spirit and human condition could be understood and improved.   He observed and recorded gradient scales ranging from horrendous, painful conditions all the way up to beautiful, joyous conditions.   The scales are invaluable when used by professionally trained Scientologists to help move people up those conditions.  But, just like any other field of the mind and spirit – including psychiatry, psychoanalysis, and other religions and systems of spirituality – the moment one takes the diagnosis and treatment or practice scheme out of the hands of trained, responsible practitioners and applies it casually and inexpertly in the field of day to day human relations, disaster is close to inevitable.

Imagine a friend telling you that you are an obsessive compulsive disorder case – in all seriousness – , and thereafter treating you as leprous until you conformed with that friend’s standard of acceptable behavior.  How long would you tolerate that friend in your proximity?  Not for long I suspect.   Scientologists – regardless of levels of training – are encouraged to apply their own, equally judgmental, labels to others and apply them in life.

Scientology has a substantial lexicon of judgmental labels that rivals the scope and complexity of the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).   Its organizations promote their facile use in day to day life.  Despite that, Scientology organizations spend millions of dollars a year condemning the DSM and its misuse or even professional use.  Their argument is that such labeling is judgmental and as such it does not promote improvement but instead categorization and stigmatization.

Perhaps the most commonly used stigmatizing terms in Scientology are “suppressive person” or SP and “potential trouble source” or PTS.   An SP is defined in Scientology as one of those roughly 2 ½ percent (Scientology founder  L. Ron Hubbard estimation) of any population who exhibit the characteristics of a sociopath or psychopath.  Scientology’s diagnostic scheme for identifying an SP is nearly identical to psychology’s and psychiatry’s diagnostic standard for identifying the sociopath or psychopath.   A PTS is a supposed  member of approximately 20% of the population who are intimately connected with an SP and consequently are mistake-prone or act ill or cowed.

Scientologists are encouraged to take a three week course of study in order to achieve the purported professional  ability and  license to identify and handle an SP and the target of his effects, the PTS.  All Scientologists are required to take this course and are expected to apply it with an attitude of certainty regardless of lack of any other professional credential.   The result, bluntly, can denigrate into a community  of untrained, arrogant, Monday morning shrinks passing the most condemnatory judgments upon one another at the drop of a hat.

To make matters worse, there is a distinct SP characteristic in Scientology writings that takes precedence over the other dozens that align with the psychology field’s similar diagnostic characteristics checklist.  That is, if someone exhibits an ‘anti-Scientology’ leaning he or she is sure to be diagnosed as being an SP.  To qualify one only need question the wisdom of any Scientology writing.  This fact alone is probably more responsible for Scientology taking on the character of an insular cult than all others combined.

L. Ron Hubbard once quipped that it is futile to get into an argument with a psychiatrist.  The problem, he noted, was that the minute you get a leg up on the psychiatrist he definitively ends the debate with the evaluation, ‘you are crazy.’   Ironically, this ad absurdum joke could almost describe the modern day Scientologist.  If you attempt to even discuss a shortcoming of Scientology the debate decisively ends with the evaluation, ‘you are an SP.’  Per Scientology policy all Scientologists must disconnect from an SP.  That is, the Scientologist must refrain from any type of communication with the SP, directly or indirectly.  That policy holds whether the declared SP is one’s spouse, child, parent, business partner or best friend.   The SP is entitled no civil or human rights as far as any Scientologist is concerned.

By way of comparison, the psychiatrists’ condemnatory label ‘crazy’ is a rather mild evaluation.

Nonetheless, Scientologists – even those who have disaffiliated from its organizations because of its alleged proclivity for judgmental evaluation, trying and sentencing of followers and the population at large – believe ‘judgmentalism’ is not a problem with Scientology.   They are so dead serious about that that they are prepared to prove it by disconnecting from anyone who says otherwise.

Decompression is important in any cult recovery effort.

Re-education is probably even more important.

What More Can I Say?

There is an interesting little undercurrent rumbling through the “Independent community.”   It is peppered with lines like this:

“Something has changed with Marty recently; and I don’t like the feel of it.”

“Marty has all the sudden stopped making a stark distinction between Scientology Inc. and Scientology.”

Rumor mills – generally energized by the not so bright false data prone – have embellished and alarmed it with bells and whistles.   All the way to the recent Chicken Little claim in the comments section of this blog itself:

…Tony Ortega has taken over the blog.

To highlight how absurd that conclusion is, though I haven’t spoken to (nor read much of his writings) in months I bet Ortega fell off his chair laughing on that one.  He is more frustrated and perplexed by my criticism of his views than he is of Scientology Inc. propaganda about him.  Incidentally, that Tony Ortega line, along with several of the others circulating were first published on OSA anti-Marty sites.

To all of you who are getting on the back channels alarmist rumor mill bandwagon, I suggest you are in denial.   To those actively fueling it, I suggest you are cowards.

I published a book almost a year ago where I made my views – that are not dissimilar to those expressed on this blog of late – about as crystal clear as a person can make them.  Those blog views are consistent with what I took the time to lay out in context and with supporting history in my book, What Is Wrong With Scientology?  That I am not a robotic, lock-step follower of Scientology has been made clear in the continuously posted Welcome section of this blog since its inception.  I haven’t heard a single comment on the blog, or even in communications directed to me or relayed to me that challenge any of those views, at least not by the very best Independents now covertly fueling the alarm wave.

I am beginning to express them more often in posts in the hopes that it will prompt some thinking and exchange of ideas and views.   I am not seeing much reasoned debate with them.  Instead, I am seeing Scientology Inc. style undercutting, back biting, rumor milling, questioning of the source of views.  The dead agent caper.  David Miscavige and OSA are having a field day with this coffee klatch mentality.  The big shots originating it are, at best, oblivious to the fact that they are doing the work of Scientology Inc.

To those engaging in such, and energizing and forwarding it,  is that Independent Scientology?

It is not what I considered Independent Scientology to be when I suggested people declare their independence from Scientology Inc.

The thrust of the backchannels chatter is “Maybe the guy who coined (or as freezoners assert, re-coined) the term Independent Scientologist doesn’t qualify for membership.”

Your views?

Scientology Inc. Obsession With Celebrity

For how  Scientology Inc.’s obsession with celebrities turned its greatest Public Relations assets into liabilities,  see excerpts from Lawrence Wright’s book concerning the courting of Tom Cruise and  John Travolta.

Is there something about Scientology that would lead to this inevitability, or is this simply a Miscavige Scientology Inc. deal?

While the Miscavige/Cruise business is in a league of its own in terms of excess and obsession, is the inhumanity exhibited by Scientology Inc. pre-Miscavige (as most of the cruelty reported in the Travolta sections are) any more tolerable in a civilized society?

 

 

 

Past and Future

I’ll say it again –

‘If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.’  – origin unknown

Three and one half years ago after and because of the Tampa Times original Truth Rundown series, the BBC launched an investigation.  In response David Miscavige spent a year and millions of dollars attempting to discredit and attack the Truth Rundown witnesses and intimidate the BBC into silence.   Miscavige rejected my repeated, public advice that ‘If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.’   Notwithstanding, Miscavige no doubt congratulated himself for having had a significant in terrorem editing effect upon the BBC.   Reporter John Sweeney and his producer were apologetic after their one-hour documentary aired.   Too much of the truth they had recorded, and intended to report, fell to the editing room floor at the over-the-top, threatening insistence of David Miscavige’s Scientology Inc. attack dogs.

The result was that John Sweeney decided to set out upon his own to write a book reporting on all that Miscavige had succeeded in backing the BBC off from reporting.   While I have yet to read the book, per Tony Ortega’s account, it contains nothing that has not already been reported upon on this blog.  However, it is international news once again.   Why?   Because,  ‘If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.’  And, if you threaten and bully in order to perpetuate the lie, it can become an explosive part of your future.

What more can I say?

Miscavige Pays P.I.’s for Silence…But

David Miscavige holds the distinction of paying more money in one year (2012) to silence critics than perhaps any other criminal, white collar or otherwise, in the world.  He began the year by paying seven figures to former Scientology executive Debbie Cook Baumgarten who countersued Miscavige’s Religious Technology Center in Bexar County (San Antonio) Texas.  He bookended 2012 with another seven figure pay off to former Scientology Private Eyes Paul Marrick and Greg Arnold.

Mark Collette of the Corpus Christi Caller Times reported tonight on the latter settlement.

As we all now know Miscavige’s pay off to Ms Baumgarten was a tad late, after she spent nearly an entire day under oath testifying about what Miscavige wanted to suppress.

Well, it would seem he made the same error with Marrick and Arnold.  Tony Ortega has published a comprehensive article on the Marrick/Arnold saga on his blog, Scientology’s Master Spies.   Read that one carefully, it is a masterpiece.

 

 

Scientology’s Underground Railroad

The CBS affiliate in Corpus Christi is educating the region on the cult of corporate Scientology and the underground railroad necessitated by its abuses:

Scientology segment on KZTV Corpus Christi

Thanks to Marc and Claire for helping in the educational process.

Update: NBC affiliate coverage

Robillards Declare Independence

Hello,
My name is Pierre Robillard, and I’ve been a scientologist since
1968. I was on staff from 1969-1993, with the exception of three years
in the mid eighties,holding mainly key posts like ED and OES.

Pierre

I joined staff in Toronto in 1969. My first post was CF I/C. I also
held the posts of test evaluator, basic courses supervisor, FBO, Class IV
intern and intern super. In july 1974, I was parachuted to Montreal and
held the ED MTL post until 1978. I went back to Toronto to do AG training.
(predecessor of OSA), acted as AG Toronto, went back to Montreal in 1980 as
AG MTL and ended up from 81 to 83 as OES/Senior C/S. Then there were turbulent times and I ended up as ED kitchener in 1984. I wanted to go back to Montreal. It was refused so I routed off. In 1985, the MTL org was doing very badly and OSA asked me to help as the Investigation officer. In 1988, I re-signed
my contract, did the OT levels up to OT 111 and spent the next 5 years as OES
and cumulating the C/S post off and on.

TRAINING

I’m a graduate class 1V auditor, NED auditor; I did at Flag the C/S series
in clay and I’m a fully trained Intern super. I was also fully trained in 1971
in LA as an FBO. There’s an amusing story on this subject. While I was interning
in one of the SO buildings, I was agressed (my shirt ripped) by a man named
Wendall Reynolds. I got so mad that they had to call an HCO bring order on me.
Finally, my FBO org officer, Pat Broeker sent me to apologize to Reynolds.

After I finished my last staff contract july 1993, I eventually ended up C/sing
in the field, my plan was to C/S at night, send money to Saint-Hill for the
briefing course and eventually phase out of my wog job. Well, GAT  came upon us.
I submitted a plan to continue C/Sing and go train on GAT at Saint-Hill a month
a year. This was refused. I was not enthused by this situation. I was losing
my right to C/S, my past production was invalidated for what? added drills.

EXPANSION 1

I’ve been fortunate to work twice in a booming org. The first time was
in Toronto, early seventies. As I wore, at different times, various posts, I was
able to get a concept of a productive org. I worked in div 6 and was part on
occasion of the book unit. The org sold at times more than 500 DMSMH books
a week. I was not the best book seller but it did raise my confront ( plus
as a bonus that’s where I met my wife to be, Heather. I was the FBO toronto in
1972 when Ron sent a telex validating Boston org and Toronto org for financially
supporting the INT Management. As an auditor doing my internship in the HGC, I was part of a team auditing 400 hours or more of WDAHs a week (by the way,the HGC was located on top of an old funeral parlor’s garage and the cabins were made of cheap styrofoam). In 1974, I became the Intern Super and I was part of a huge qual that included 2 word clearers, 2 cram offs , a qual receptionist, staff staff auditors, staff staff C/S etc. There was more than 100 people on staff.
The hatting was very important. Besides my FBO training, I was fully hatted
as a div 6 personnel, fully hatted as an intern super. The org had OEC/FEBCs
trained on the flag ship. Part of the success can be attributed to the great
basic courses, especially the HQS course.

Heather

EXPANSION 2

It was in 1980, when I was privy to a boom. I was still AG MTL when the
ED MTL, Marc Vidril came to see me. There was a DMSMH Radio Ads programs
originating from L.A. and the ED wanted to implant it in Montreal. By this time
I was the OES again. The Org had no money to pay for it. I got my friend
Jacques Emond to organize and gather funds from the org public. They found
french speaking scientologists in L.A. to translate and perform the ads and
voila. The ads started in Montreal. Very soon we were selling more than 200
DMSMH books a week. Book One groups were being established everywhere.
The Survival rundown was being delivered, and like the HQS in 72, was making
hatted scientologists,and consequently a lot of staff.The org had more than
100 staff members, 20 people in the Tech Training Corps WDHs reached 400 a week.  PD comps was in affluence and GI reached $40,000  And most of all, there was a buzz in and around the org.

MANAGEMENT

Of course, being a staff member in a Class V org, especially if you’re
full time, was never easy. Also, there always been a reality gap between
management and class V org, especially if there is a language barrier
or one doesn’t robotically obey to orders. For that reason in 1976, folo east US
wanted me out as the ED. They recruited a heavy druggie to replace me. I
persuaded FOLO to send my wife instead as my replacement.
She did the PRO TRS and The ED Hat at Flag and eventually replaced me.

MORE MANAGEMENT

My observation is that it got much harder to be a causative staff past
1982 (by 1982 Ron was no longer on the lines and New management had taken over) I described above how Montreal Org was booming early eighties. There were many management attacks to undermine it. For instance, a Mr Woodruff, Sea Org member started an off the rail Flag regging unit.They would reg MTL public for any services. One of the Unit members told me that the public should get a taste
of Flag. Eventually, it was dismantled and a few Unit members were declared SP.
But the damage was done.

SECOND ATTACK

The second attack and the most vicious was an attempt to squash all the
veteran staff members. Lots of them ,including my wife, Heather Robillard, did
not re-sign. I re-signed march 1983 and took over the HES MTL post and had in a
month the GI stat in affluence ( around $40,000) but I was sent to Toronto and
FLag as I was deemed a criminal because I had worked in the GO. I was given many SRAs ( severe reality adjustment), many sec-checks and repeatly told
that I did not follow command intention. I ended up in 1984 in Kitchener
as the ED KIT (which was an illegal posting). The Management did not want me
back in Motreal because “I would sabotage the command intention”. I routed off
and tended to my dying mother.What was bound to happen, happened: Montreal Org  crashed in 1985. There were heavy entheta articles in newspapers, with front
pages photos of masked ex-scientologists. My friend Jacques Emond and myself
were recruited to help. I ended up in charge of the OSA Investigative section
as a volunteer (an ironic situation as 2 years before I had been labelled a
criminal because I had been in the GO). For nearly 2 years we ( jacques and I)
worked  really hard,setting up all the various files, helping in the handling
of the many refunds claims (the Sea Org reserves paid them). Eventually,
OSA INT realized we were not staff members and tried to recruit us,to no avail.
And that was the end of that chapter.

FRIENDS

I lost 3 good friends in Scientology because I sided with management.
Zoltan Rona was a long time tennis buddy and I had him come to Toronto early
seventies to do a few scientology courses. By early eighty, he was OT V.
His wife Sharon was a CC Toronto staff member. One day, he told me about a
big meeting at Flag with Mission holders and Management. He sided with the
mission holders.Unfortunately, Management had already published ethics orders
on Mayo and squirreling missions( like the ding-a ling process). I sincerely
thought that LRH was in agreement with this handling so I wrote a disconnection
letter to Zoltan. I wish I had known the truth.

I first met Jacques Emond mid 75 as he joined staff. I mentioned before
that he was a key factor in the ads campaign and that he helped me in OSA in 87.
We were good friends and he had been my confident on many occasions. When he
refused to join OSA MTl, Folo Can wrote a Public enemy condition on him. There
were other run-ins which led him up to ask for a repayment from Flag in 1998. He
got the repayment. I was then a public and I did not want to be involved in any
situation. So that was the end of our relationship.

Alfred Calver is a MTL Org public which I befriended mid seventies. As
a friend and a volunteer, he has been thoughout the years a very supportive
individual on many aspects including financial support. In 1989, Impact magazine
published a totally unreal and fallacious article about the Montreal Org.
Alfred took exception to this. He wrote KRS and he was subsequently attacked.
When Jacques got his repayment, Alfred (rightly) took his side and I did not
want to hear about it. So I wrote him an ultimatum letter which ended our
friendship.

SINCE 1993

Since 1993, my presence in the Montreal org has been limited. In 1994,
I went to help my selectee on the Metering course drills. The scene was very
chaotic, many execs would pass by and give their opinions, nobody completed
the course.In fact, students had to go to Quebec Org to complete. My selectee
was routed to the PTS course and never completed the metering course.
At one point, I was putting regularly money on my training A/C at Saint Hill
for the Briefing course but then a Saint Hill tech terminal, in a D of P
started to reg me for my materials , and stupidly, I let him transfer most of
my training A/C money to books and CDs.

IAS

In the last 20 years, I have not done much, disillusioned, thinking I was
too old (I’m 65). I disagreed to the extreme regging of IAS. Never attended
events. In 92-93 as OES I used to fight to stop my future Completions to be regged
till 3 am.. When IAS first started, the stress was saving Scientology from
being taken over by SPs. I believed it was true for a long time. In 1990, the stress
was on promotion and we were promised many campaigns which never came true. Now, its a barrage of programs around the world that will supposedly clear
the planet. Every day, I get magazines like Scientology news, impacts etc that
claim to show we are winning. But in real life, its the opposite. Read the news,
the web, talk to people, 99.9 % of the news about Scientology is bad.  There
used to be purif centers around Montreal.. No more. There used to be a Narconon
in Three Rivers, Quebec. No more. .

IDEAL ORG

There used to be an attempt to get the orgs Saint-Hill sized and get the
staff audited. Now its The Ideal Org program which totally misrepresents the
essence of the policy and violates basic finance policies like the Building
Fund P/l. The future Montreal Org is a gutted building bought 5 years ago by
local scientologists. There was times when The Sea Org Reserves paid for
buildings. In 1979, I was the AG Tor and the Sea Org sent an order to buy a
building. Brian Mcpherson was in charge of finding a building. As the AG Tor, I
dealt with the org lawyer for all the paperwork. I dealt with the Toronto Fire
Chief on the various building codes. I am the one who received the $ 1.9 million
for the Diamond building (actual location of the Toronto org). I also received
money for the renovation. Part of the plan was to continue to sublet more than
half of the building to various companies and to eventually increase the org
space if there was expansion.

CURRENT TECHNOLOGY

Since 1993, I mostly worked in the wog world, did a few basic courses,
attended some events (no IAS events and one Ideal Org building event). I mostly
wrote music, played tennis and spent a lot of time on my second dynamic.
( I am a great-grand father). In January 2012, I came upon a message sent to
Scientologists. It was written by Debbie Cook. I read it. It made sense. From
this point, I embarked on an intensive study of Scientology materials. Then I read the website www.friendsoflrh.org which compares what LRH says to what COB says. I came to the conclusion that the current teachings have deviated from the
original materials written by LRH.

LOW PRODUCTION

It would not be so bad if there was any production: auditors made and
preclears going up the grades. None of that. There has not been an auditor made
in Montreal since 1995 (advent of GAT). The auditors made came mostly from Flag, the others were already auditors and did GAT. One hears more about the different levels achieved as an IAS member than anything else. Public complete some Basics Book courses. But that’s not auditors. If one looks at the results of Quebec Org (recent Ideal Org),their web site shows mostly Basics Book Course completions.

De-PTSing

Researching HCOBs and studying the Church’s history especially since 1982,
has been beneficial to my physical and mental health. It has allowed me to get
a proper perspective on my staff timetrack, actually de-ptsing me. I understood
why , even after I had attained OT 111 in 89, I did not perform as well
on staff in my last contract because of the remaining by-passed charge in the
eighties.  It also got me a better reality of the plight of the SO executives
stuck in the HOLE.

REHABILITATION OF WINS

It also rekindled the various wins I had as a PC, a Tech Terminal and a
staff member. In 1972, the auditing on Exchange by dynamics opened up my
viewpoint and the same year, I got married and became ED Montreal. Also in 72.
I received a confessional that freed me of a whole chunk of shameful thoughts.
The same year, I got audited on a heavy dianetics incident, which blew away
and had me floating  in the clouds (this incident, rehabbed in 1979, validated
me as Clear. The last one was on OT 11. the auditing itself was exciting
because it was totally new to me. And then unexpectedly, a tremendous mass
blowing and a brand new world opening. Despite various difficulties, I overall
had a splendid time on this planet earth.

MY DECISION

And to have an even better life, I hereby make the following decision: I
must leave the C of S and join the Independants. The future is not totally
certain especially on the training side. But,from what I perceived from the
LRH policy I read and the Indie 500 website, the intention to follow Ron’s way
is certainly on the independants side. My wife Heather,plus a few others
are leaving with me.She started in 1963 in London England,She was one of
the best Class V orgs reg’s, was flag trained as an ED. She’s also been
a great wife, mother and a wonderful terminal as a staff member.