Category Archives: Uncategorized

Scientology

Posted on March 26, 2010 by | 246 comments

DM has a PI agency out contacting my pcs and pre-OTs. The PIs want to know whether I practice Scientology.  I tried to call the fellows. When they did not answer, I left a message that I heard they were looking for me and of course received no return call.  Since you have apparently hired losers with your own cowardly traits, here in open letter form, I’ll answer your question DM: Yes, I minister Scientology to members of the faith who have been denied that right by you and your minions.  Denied that right by being ostracized, declared and disconnected from family and friends for questioning your counter policies. Denied that right by your implementing a shoddy and destructive substitute which is becoming widely known as Miscavology,  or Black Dianetics. Denied that right by your insistence on mis-using Scientology to enforce loyalty to you above the Source and Founder of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard.  I specialize in helping mend the broken wings of people that you have mangled directly and indirectly. I try to re-acquaint people to L. Ron Hubbard and his philosophy and technology and use those in whatever way I can to help them get along better in life.  Any other questions?

246 Comments

Posted in black dianetics, disconnection, harassment, healing, l. ron hubbard, legal threats, miscavige crimes, miscavige lawyers, PI reports, tech, the future, Uncategorized, wins

I am no angel

Posted on March 23, 2010 by | 181 comments

 Since DM has been making such an enormous effort to discredit me to actual and potential independents I thought I might finally weigh in.  I’ve heard of people attempting to defend me during church gang-up confrontations. Let me tell you what I’ve told them. I am no angel. I never purported to be one. To try to make me out to be one is a losing proposition.  It is much more productive to demand answers to questions you have formulated by what you have directly observed yourself.  C of M spokespeople will deny everything I have said, regardless of the strength of evidence. The world is flat, and that is that.  Then they will overwhelm you with unending stories of my alleged crimes.  They will even attempt to portray me as acting like I never did anything wrong in my life, precisely what they are falsely asserting about DM and  have no power to deviate from.

What they won’t tell you is that I never claimed to be Little Lord Fautelroy in the first place. Just as I told the St Pete Times the first time they reached out for me. I told them right up front that I had engaged in my share of physical violence in the church, that I had violated the confessional procedure by feeding DM’s black dianetics process of making people guilty of their overts (real and imagined), that I designed and operated systems for keeping people locked in to DM’s nightmare compound. I told them about an illegal act I commited in the McPherson case (which contrary to claims by some, very well could have been prosecuted had the State Attorney had the inclination to). Other crimes were confessed. I wasn’t in a confessional, so didn’t recount every transgression on my track. But, I made it crystal clear I wasn’t purporting to be speaking with clean hands. Because I was not.

In fact, all the church bruhaha about me and my alleged crimes bolsters the credibility of my accounts. Though authorship and ownership is falesly attributed by the church, their utterances confirm the picture of Int Base being the house of horrors that I have described – backed by over 20 public accounts at this time.  Fact of the matter is, if one were squeaky clean one could not have been in a p0sition to observe it. As Robert Bonner (former Director of the Drug Enforcement Administration) once said, “With a plot hatched in hell, don’t expect angels for witnesses.” 

 When I got hit with DM’s barrage of robot responses trying to hang me with his crimes, I had two major answers:

1) First, in my rough estimation 25% of what they alleged about me was true. 25% was embellished. The remaining 50% was manfuctured (much of it accusing me of what DM personally did with his little paws).

2) The BIG LIE in the entire Church presentation on me is the notion that DM was gone from the Int base for much of two years leading up to the end of 2003, when he returned to the base and dropped his jaw in horror at the “reign of terror” the Kingpin had created.  Why do I call it the big lie?  Because in the 42 months leading up to my February 2004 departure from the base, I was OFF the Int base entirely (far away) for 34 of those months. I wasn’t hiding either. Plenty of people saw me at CC Int between July 2001 and April 2002 full time handling Tom Cruise, Jason Beghe, Isaac Hayes, and driving the org into a two year unbroken affluence by insisting upon implementation of HCO PL How To Boom An Org Through Training. If you doubt the latter, ask Dave Petit about it (note his facial expression when he tells you it isn’t so).  Between April 2002 and late August 2003 I was in Clearwater almost continuously and I was plainly visible there. I was handling the McPherson Civil case, a PRO area control program, getting Cruise through OT VI, and helping DM’s sister evade suboenas from the Security and Exchange Commmission investigation into her and Brian Zwann.  During that entire time, DM was primarily at the Int base. How do I know? Because I had to report to the queen of micro management many times a day by phone during that entire 2 1/2 year period. In fact, it was I who came back to the base after a long absence to discover the Jonestownsian cult compound DM had created.

That’s it.  Otherwise, I am guilty and complicit in the gross out tech, empowering DM’s black dianetics campaign, and yes physical violence that had become rampant on the base. It sickened me to the core, and it lead to me leaving  exactly as stated in my video taped interviews now available on the St Pete Times web site (see the link on the right hand column on this blog).

 That DM is currently sending missionaires around the world to trot out my secret declare order and 250 pages of affidavits from 25 top Int robots to demonstrate my evil, while to this day denying EVERY single fact we’ve disclosed (which is now backed by more than 20 on record witnesses) about his own conduct is I believe testament to what I’ve been communicating on this blog. That is, there is very little chance for change within. There is no room for independent, decent and pro-survival initiative to reverse the course.  It is testament that DM is using his iron grip to prevent the possibility of case gain for C of M’s top managers – and of course himself – and increasingly so for even public – by enforcing they live and forward LIES. 

I believe Scientology is all about redemption. I subscribe to LRH’s view that ANYONE can trim his or her sheets (sails) and live a productive life.  That is what I am trying to do now. I think that is what a lot of us are trying to do now.  Let us never forget what LRH wrote in Data Series 23, “The heart of Review is HUMILITY.”

Back to the issue at hand.  Don’t try to defend me.  It is a losing cause. The Lord knows that – and  if you listen to what I’ve been saying you’ll know it too. If I can help people to look for themselves, I’ll keep doing it.  But, if you are going to make a decision to leave the grips of the monster, do it based on your own observations of what you witness. If you are in doubt, go look more deeply. Question authority.  But just don’t simply hang your hat on me; it is liable to get shot full of holes.  Then they’ll sentence you to  purgatory forever. 

Instead, apply the Code of Honor and LRH’s definition of Personal Integrity. If you do so for real, I guarantee you’ll be in fat city (in a spiritual sense) from here on out.

181 Comments

Posted in cover up, ethics, healing, int base, justice, miscavige crimes, propaganda, the future, Uncategorized, wins

DM’s Reverse Scientology – Money, Buildings, MEST

Posted on March 22, 2010 by | 50 comments

In my view, the fixation with buildings, and money and MEST in the C of M is a Third Dynamic Reverse Scientology process DM is running. A good friend of mine is  listening to LRH lectures on the way to work and back  each day. She’s has now completed all the Congresses and a number of other series. Seldom does a day go by that she doesn’t cue up a passage for me where LRH describes precisely what DM is running on Scientologists day in and day out. That is because throughout the 50’s LRH talked extensively about the mechanics of Black Dianetics, 1950’s psychiatry, and the underlying trick of implants: hypnotism. LRH did this in order to impart understanding on his own techniques for REVERSING THAT DOWNWARD SPIRAL PROCESS THAT WE’VE BEEN RUNNING ON ONE ANOTHER SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL. 

I just came across another lecture in my own studies (PDC) that describes the DM operation in spades. I recommend the entire lecture so that one may hear this in context and the tone and emphases LRH makes. One might get the idea on reading this passage that LRH is recommending Dianeticists practice some corner of this. Let me assure you – and you can verify it yourself by listening to the lecture – the comments he makes that might look like that are made in a tone and context that communicate the opposite.  In any event, compare the following to what you are observing about DM’s third dynamic nightmare:

(re psychiatrists) They deepen one’s agreement with the MEST universe. You just tell these people to face reality now. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you, you just have not faced reality. Now you must face the reality of your problem. The day you face the reality of this problem you will then be able – then you will be able at last to be better off. And this fellow goes into apathy and he goes further and further and further.”  And of course, he goes more and more under control and I am sure that the fee has nothing to do with it whatsoever.

You can get a much better fee – I tell you as auditors quite frankly – it …it’s much easier to get a great deal of money out of somebody who is on a down spiral into becoming MEST than it is to get money out of somebody who is going on an up spiral toward becoming theta.

Just give you that word of warning. They…they’ve been working themselves out…they’ve been working themselves out of preclears in various parts of the world too rapidly. They…they clean up a practice. Fellow takes a couple of weeks and all of a sudden he looks around and he doesn’t have any patients any more and of course the truth of the matter is…he then starts getting a flood of patients sooner or later.

But he’s cleaning up the rate of one normal psychoanalytical practice every fortnight, and this is a rate of speed which has exceeded, of course, execeeded the desirable feed-in of cannon fodder. So go very cautious about this, I mean, slow down, hold motion, and you will be able to get a lot of MEST.

Philadelphia Doctorate Course Lecture 15 – The Logics, Infinity-Valued Logic

In my opinion, DM has grooved in this pattern  hard.  The closer a person approaches “OT” in his organization the more pressure is applied that they become aggressive IAS reges and that they mindlessly promote Miscavige and his money thirst at every turn and ruthlessly treat anyone who does not toe that white line. Of course, the pre-OT is in life being driven precisely the opposite direction of OT. This begins to explain how you can have OT VIIs and OT VIIIs returning from attestestation and acting like crooked used car sales persons and televangelists.  “…it’s much easier to get a great deal of money out of somebody who is on a down spiral into becoming MEST than it is to get money out of somebody who is going on an up spiral toward becoming theta.”  Don’t take my word for it, look for yourself.

 

50 Comments

Posted in black dianetics, ias, l. ron hubbard, miscavige crimes, ot ambassadors, psychs, regging, squirreling, Uncategorized

L. Ron Hubbard March 13, 1911 – January 24, 1986

Posted on March 13, 2010 by | 89 comments
 
 
 What Is Greatness?
 
 
  
 
 
 by L. Ron Hubbard  
 
 
The hardest task one can have is to continue to love one’s fellows despite all reasons he should not. And the true sign of sanity and greatness is to so continue.  For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope. For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair, and these are not the things of which greatness or sanity or happiness are made.
A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate. There are those who appoint one their executioners. Sometimes for the sake of the safety of others, it is necessary to act, but it is not necessary also to hate them.

To do one’s task without becoming furious at others who seek to prevent one is a mark of greatness—and sanity. And only then can one be happy. Seeking to achieve any single desirable quality in life is a noble thing. The one most difficult and most necessary to achieve is to love one’s fellows despite all invitations to do otherwise.

If there is any saintly quality, it is not to forgive. “Forgiveness” is a much lower level action and is rather censorious. True greatness merely refuses to change in the face of bad actions against one — and a truly great person loves his fellows because he understands them. After all, they are all in the same trap. Some are oblivious of it, some have gone mad because of it, some act like those who betrayed them. But all, all are in the same trap—the generals, the street sweepers, the presidents, the insane. They act the way they do because they are all subject to the same cruel pressures of this universe.

Some of us are subject to those pressures and still go on doing our jobs. Others have long since succumbed and rave and torture and strut like the demented souls they are. To re-save some of them is a dangerous undertaking. Were you to approach many ruling heads in the world and offer to set them free (as only a Scientologist can) they would go berserk, cry up their private police and generally cause unpleasantness. Indeed, one did—he was later assassinated by no desire of ours but because of the incompetence of his own fellows about him. He could have used Scientology. Instead, he promptly tried to shoot it down by ordering raids and various berserk actions on Scientology organizations. That he was then shot had nothing to do with us, but only demonstrated how incompetent and how mortal he really was. 

As we become stronger, we can be completely openhanded with our help. Until we do, we can at least understand the one fact that greatness does not stem from savage wars or being known. It stems from being true to one’s own decency, from going on helping others whatever they do or think or say and despite all savage acts against one; to persevere without changing one’s basic attitude toward Man.  A fully trained Scientologist is in a far better position to understand than a partly trained one. For the Scientologist who really knows is able not only to retain confidence in himself and what he can do, but also can understand why others do what they do and so knowing, does not become baffled or dismayed by small defeats. To that degree, true greatness depends on total wisdom. They act as they do because they are what they are—trapped beings, crushed beneath an intolerable burden. And if they have gone mad for it and command the devastation of whole nations in errors of explanation, still one can understand why and can understand as well the extent of their madness. Why should one change and begin to hate just because others have lost themselves and their own destinies are too cruel for them to face.
Justice, mercy, forgiveness, all are unimportant beside the ability not to change because of provocation or demands to do so.
One must act, one must preserve order and decency, but one need not hate or seek vengeance. It is true that beings are frail and commit wrongs. Man is basically good but can act badly. He only acts badly when his acts done for order and the safety of others are done with hatred. Or when his disciplines are founded only upon safety for himself regardless of all others; or worse, when he acts only out of a taste for cruelty. To preserve no order at all is an insane act. One need only look at the possessions and environment of the insane to realize this. The able keep good order.
When cruelty in the name of discipline dominates a race, that race has been taught to hate. And that race is doomed.
The real lesson is to learn to love. He who would walk scatheless through his days must learn this. Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.
It requires real strength to love Man. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.
Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate.
To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength.
To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness.
And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe.

 

89 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

NBC Today show – Christie King Collbran

Posted on March 9, 2010 by | 114 comments

Tune into NBC Today show this morning (7 or 7:30) your time to watch the Mat Lauer interview with Chrsitie King Collbran. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/35775749#35775749

114 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Egoist Maximus?

Posted on March 3, 2010 by | 101 comments

101 Comments

Posted in miscavige crimes, propaganda, regging, Uncategorized

Expansion?

Posted on March 1, 2010 by | 153 comments

Remember the BIG LIE that Mike Rinder alluded to a couple weeks ago in his article on this blog? That LIE serves to perpetuate DM’s ghastly reg machine tactics. That lie justifies habitual felonious behavior on DM’s part. It justifies asking for ever escalating “donations” to DM’s war chest to protect him from the “ogre” that might eat his enterprise up. It justifies his very existence. As his boy Tommy puts it to the media, that lie is the alleged “explosive expansion” the church is experiencing. Sadly, some people are so invested in DM’s game that they want to believe the big lie. The truth is that the Scientology Network is in its sickest state ever.

While the evidence of contraction is plain in virtually any city where Scientology once flourished, some interesting documentary evidence recently surfaced. Now, imagine for a moment that the once-mighty Church of Scientology Mission of Davis was literally begging public for hand outs to pay the staff and cover the rent. Unimaginable, right? Wrong. The proof follows in an email from the Mission Holder of the Mission of Davis to the field. Don’t buy the other propaganda that I or any other independent is “gloating” over this. Quite to the contrary, I find it heartbreaking.

One enemy line DM has broadcast far and wide against me is, “well, he isn’t doing anything about it. Marty isn’t producing a goddamn thing.” Well, I’ll tell you this much. I have personally delivered far more Scientology in the past year than the Mission of Davis. I can say the same of dozens of “Missions” and even some orgs. And I did not beg for a single red cent to do it. Moreover, I know of dozens of independent Scientologists in the field who have done so as well.

I’ll share another fact. If Steve Ferris asked me for guidance, I wouldn’t charge him a single red cent. And I guarantee you if he implemented 1/10th of what I advised, he’d have his place in the black in no time flat. First order of business would be cutting all comm with SMI, IAS, CSI, WUS, OSA, RTC and any other suppressive external influence on the Mission. Second order of business would be to have everyone study and apply Vol 0, OEC. Third order of business would be putting on a single-hatted Treasury Sec to sanely deal with the insane amounts of income they’d be shortly overwhelmed with in exchange for service delivered.

My gratuitous commentary aside, please make sure you are seated before you read the following email from the Mission Holder of the Mission of Davis:

Subject: FW: The Davis Mission Update

 
      We all survive across the Dynamics in our own unique way. But one thing that we have in common with every person in the human race, is we all depend for our ultimate long-term survival upon one special type of person. The auditors and the support staff that keep them behind the e-meter. They clear the planet, while we do our nine to five jobs. They clear us.
       
       Where would we be without the caring staff who got us up to our respective points on the Bridge?
 
       Where would the Bridge be?
 
       We owe a lot to these self-less beings. They don’t ask for much. Except that we flourish and prosper. That seems to be their paycheck. And that we have is dependant upon their having made sure that we won on course and in session.
 
       As you know, a little more than a year ago, the Bridge touched down in a community that was without Scientology for 25 years. Our 1st year anniversary went quietly here in Davis. We had several new starts and the Academy has more students now than it’s ever had.
 
       We are growing!
 
       Our auditor in training, who’s also our supervisor, Mariette Stratton is pounding away at her interneship. And we’re seeing more and more public in here every week. There is no thrill like ushering a new person onto the Bridge.
 
       But to continue putting Scientology back in Davis is taking a bit of energy. Green energy. Money. Cash. Coin of the realm. And we’ve run a bit low. The nuts and bolts of it is, we need a purif (which takes money to get going–ouch!) or an auditor to cover our monthly rent and utilities. Mariette is interning her little heart out. Until we have that nailed down, and perhaps for a while to get the lines grooved in, we depend upon the kindness of the Old Davis Hands scattered across the Planet.
 
       Many of us have raised children. It’s not a short term project. You don’t kick a kid out the front door when he’s 8 months old with a couple of spare bottles of milk and a box of Pampers. You raise them up until somewhere in their late teens or mid-twenties. At that point the expenditures end and you have an independent self-supporting adult.
 
       Starting a mission is like raising that kid. But there is a difference. It doesn’t take 20 years before you begin to get a return flow. We’re getting one now. But it will take a while before that flow is sufficient for the mission to be self-supporting.
 
       Each month we are a little closer to being self-sufficient. In 100 months, we will be flying solo. 50 months from now? We’ll be about half-way there. But our staff can’t be trying to line up money every month to pay the rent! We need to work on what will make us self-sufficient! Getting public on and up the Bridge. So what is the answer? It’s been a real puzzle.
 
       I figured it out while I was singing in the shower. It was that old tune, “100 bottles of beer”. You know the one. “You take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall etc.” At about 96 I realized that I’d hit on something!
 
       If we can find 15 people to pay $100.00 a month (in March). We’ll cover our FP. But in April, we’ll do a little bit better, so we don’t need $100.00 in April. $99.00 will work fine. And May? $98.00. And each month $1.00 less. That’s what we need. 15 people who care enough about Davis to stay with us as things gradually get better. As we come off the tricycle and get on that two wheeler with training wheels and finally when 15 people write their final check for $1.00 the training wheels will come off and we’ll pedal down the road under our own motivation.
 
       In August we needed 15 people. But now, thanks to Diane Swann, Lisa and John Doughty, Kelly and Lynanne Melhaff, Eric and Mariette Stratton and Phil MacDonald we only need 10 more people. Ten more people to assure the Bridge stays in Davis. It left once. We need your help to make sure it stays here forever.
 
       Our staff is devoted to helping out the students and people of Davis. But they’re not going to be able to keep doing it without your help. However, each month, we’ll need a little less. Each month, it will be a little easier for you as we get a little stronger.
 
       Davis used to be the biggest mission on the planet. 3 Freedom Medal winners call Davis their Alma Mater. The future is bright. But in the short term, it’s still a little overcast.
Davis staff needs your help. And you can help.
 
        Call me or email me right away, please. Time is of the essence.
 

     Steve Ferris

       Missionholder 

       Church of Scientology

       Mission of Davis 

      916-956-9502            

 

© 2010 COFSMOD ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Scientology, the Bridge and E-Meter are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center and used with its permission.  Services relating to Scientology religious philosophy are delivered throughout the world exclusively by licensees of the Church of Scientology with the permission of Religious Technology Center, holders of the SCIENTOLOGY and DIANETICS trademarks.

153 Comments

Posted in miscavige crimes, missions, policy, propaganda, Uncategorized

Recollections of LRH, part 3

Posted on February 27, 2010 by | 55 comments

 

by Sarge In the fall of 1976 I was a courier at WHQ. Couriers would take LRH’s com from LEC and do tail shakes (make sure we weren’t being followed) and drive to the ‘Manor’ in Hollywood. We would go to the top floor of the Manor to the GO (Guardian ) offices, drop off com, pickup com and take the com and any passengers back to WHQ. Talk about a great job. I wanted to do that forever. Well, I did that for a month or so when one day a messenger came and told me I was now Supercargo WHQ. I thought, that’s ok, all I have to do after my courier runs was help load and unload stuff. During study time that day I sure found out what an S/C was and I also found out what HFA meant. Now, I was also visibly green. Luckily I had Source. Both green on white and via many many messenger runs. The Old Man took time out of his busy day to help me, to ‘train me up’. I would do com runs to Rifle and when he saw me he always asked how I was doing and would give me encouragement. First order of business was to establish an org board that was workable. The Old Man worked very close with me on that. One day while doing Chinese School on the crew, I thought it boring so I tried to lighten it up with my humor. Although I was proud of myself for being clever I soon got my first admin cram. The Old Man was very patient with me.

You all know what gradients are. The Old Man handled me with perfect gradients. Soon I was walking with the swagger of a fully hatted S/C. The Old Man had a wayof saving some stuff. Well, while everyone was sleeping there was no one looking out for the place(s). He told me there needed to be night security guards. He also told me, in way of an apology I think, ‘if you want something done, give it to a busy man’. (gulp) again. Only now I had big shoulders. By this time, if the Old Man would have said ‘Sarge, dig me a ditch’ you would have found poor ole Sarge in the morning laying on his shovel in a mile long ditch.

The Old Man had the purchaser buy me a duplicator machine and a manual typewriter. He didn’t know I didn’t know how to type. Enter the OODS (orders of the day). The Old Man and Mary Sue and others would post regularly. Sorry, again that was fun. One time I got a very polite reprimand from Mary Sue about a post that was off color. On a com run I apologized and she gave me a little cram…’ Look up the word.’ Good God I liked her. Mary Sue was like a queen. Mary Sue and Nikki , her communicator, used to kid me about Suzette,often. Sorry Suzette but they really did. Woulda, shoulda …..“stupid is as stupid does”.

I had problems with ‘personnel’. I had folders sent me from a terminal in PAC of prospects to go ‘Over The Rainbow’. Problem was no one passed the GO filter. The GO did the right thing I know but I got caught in a ‘catch 22’. By this time, although the Old Man could be patient, he also wanted things done ‘yesterday’ so he could operate. I just didn’t know what to do. I knew he wanted people very much but he had a freeze on key personnel. (that was my justifier for those slow to pick it up). What happened next surprised me. The Old Man did an eval (checking data for whys and whos etc). He bypassed everyone. I was reassigned to courier (whew). I did danger. The Old Man never assigned me a lower condition. The Old Man never yelled at me, EVER. I’ve seen it happen to others but never me and ya know, I used to screw up often. Maybe he looked into my heart. I think. Conditions were meant to help you, not invalidate. Conditions are personal. Get help to sort it out but please don’t accept someone else’s viewpoint unless it helps YOU.

After the eval (evaluation) we got people! We had to switch from Datsun 210’s to station wagons. I was a courier but now on nights. Life was good. I would deliver com to the GO, then walk to the FOLO and sleep for a few hours, then get a wake up call and walk back to the ‘Manor’ about four AM to pickup the com and any sleepy people and drive back to WHQ. One day I walked to the FOLO, left a wake up call time and went to sleep in the stinky FOLO men’s dorm. I was suppose to be an SO missionaire. Next thing I knew there were people running around like headless chickens and the sun was up; I was way late in getting up. Boy am I in trouble! I knew I was headed for the RPF. Rule One: Don’t mess with LRH’s com. I got dressed and went down the hall. Everyone ignored me. I left the front door and men in suits said you can go, have a nice day.

What was happening? I walked down to the ‘Manor’ and decided to use the back door as the front had more suits. I decided to use the stairs and saw no one. Apparently the FBI raid had just happened. It was about 6 AM. When I reached the top floor and walked into the GO offices I got whews that almost knocked me over. They told me that I was a hero. What? Didn’t mean to be, but its ok. They told me that no one could find me. No one could find me to wake me up. The GO sent people, even the CO was looking for me. No Sarge. I thought I was first bunk on the left bottom. Guess not. The GO guys said that because I didn’t show up it kept people there and on alert. When the raid went down, they gathered up some sensitive materials and got them out of there. I met Chuck Adams at a ‘drop’ site and brought com back to WHQ. I told my story and, lo and behold by pure accident once again, Sarge was a hero. Life is good again.

55 Comments

Posted in int base, l. ron hubbard, Uncategorized

Happy Birthday Mosey!

Posted on February 23, 2010 by | 217 comments

 

 I’ve been planning to acknowledge her on her birthday 23 Feb.  It is hard to describe just how special this being Mosey (Monique) is.  After failing to find the words, I decided to share a short chapter of a book I’ve been working on. I think it gives one at least a glimpse of what I am talking about

  Chapter ___

She said I need you to hold me

I’m a little far from the shore

and I’m afraid of sinking

You’re the only one who knows me

and who doesn’t ignore

that my soul is weeping

 – Jamie Houston, Buck Johnson and Damon Johnson

In the Spring of 2006 I lay dying in bed. I hadn’t moved for a week but to occasionally struggle up to use the bathroom, and perhaps ingest a bit of sustenance. When I did rise the entire room swayed as if I were aboard a vessel in a stormy sea. Within minutes I would be so exhausted I would stagger for the bed to lie down once again. For forty-eight hours I hadn’t risen at all, having no more appetite there was nothing to expel from my body. The entire time Chiquita sat on the corner of the bed, looking at me sorrowfully with her usually perky golden ears now drooping like a hound dog. At first she tried to revive me by licking the side of my face. When she failed after several days of effort, she stopped eating too. By then, lying down did not stop the dizziness.

Monique tried to persuade me to see a doctor. She thought perhaps I had West Nile fever because of all the tromping around the local bayous I had done with my camera and dog in tow. Bayous had been my sanctuary, where I’d go for space, contemplation and solitude. But, I knew there was nothing physically wrong with me, technically. By then I was not aware enough to pinpoint it precisely, but the cause later became clear; I was dying of a broken heart and spirit. It started when I decided that I had placed myself in an untenable position and had utterly failed.

I had reasoned that I could not totally commit to Monique. Yes, she was the light of my life. Yes, she was the embodiment of the unconditional love that each of us harbors a longing to obtain, even if kept as a low burning desire deep down within our souls. It was the ultimate in dichotomy. The closer we became, the more guilty I felt for denying her access to Scientology. I was a Suppressive Person (an excommunicated one) according to the Church, meaning anyone connected to me would be automatically denied access to Scientology because of it. I could imagine under no circumstances reconciling that split. I had earlier ultimately decided the only way I could possibly impinge on Scientology’s leader Miscavige to reform his escalating sadistic conduct was to create a shock by leaving. Even if I had a desire to return it was impossible to do without becoming a prisoner because of what I knew – something I was unwilling to ever again become. Because I had seen indications that my leaving had precisely the opposite effect, and Miscavige had instead accelerated his madness, I recognized that I had accomplished nothing.

In fact, it was worse than nothing, because as long as Monique remained my partner she would be unqualified to participate in Scientology. If ever there were a special being who deserved to sample the spiritual gains possible through Scientology, it was Monique. Matter of fact, from the few writings she had read, and the teachings I passed on to her in conversation, she was far more of what Scientology founder Hubbard defined as a “Scientologist” than just about anyone I had known in my twenty-seven year experience within the organization. But as I had become more familiar with her life I knew she, like any one else I had ever met, would benefit greatly from formal auditing up the Scientology grade chart.

It did not become clear to me till later that I was removing myself as her problem. I loved her so much that I unwittingly willed my own death so that she might one day experience that which my very existence was denying her. This was no high minded martyrdom going on. I was not even consciously aware of the decision. All I knew at that time was that on one particular morning the body was going to complete the process of shutting down, I (the spirit) was going to slip out and move along. Monique’s hurt and Chiquita’s mourning were painful, but for the greatest good I knew I was simply an impediment to the advance of a far more gifted and wonderful person.

Monique kissed me on the forehead before taking off for work that morning.

Man, I felt bad about leaving – but I resigned myself to the fact it was inevitable. I felt like I was living in a surrealistic haze. There was no sound, but the occasional low, muffled whining of Chiquita – she sensed something was wrong. There was no time, no space, no energy, and finally no matter. All I felt was absolute exhaustion and weakness, no ability to even maintain involuntary nervous system function. Then, I began to sense myself slowly rising through the top of my skull. I could faintly make out the room from a point of view a foot above my head. It was all ethereal shadows. Chiquita’s whimpers startled me and held me in equilibrium; I was in suspended animation in that spot for some time. Finally, I began to ever so slowly float above that spot, I could see the room with my own body lying in the bed below all in black, white, and gray shadows.

Suddenly, I – me, the spirit not part of the body – sensed an urgency some distance off. Just then, the sliding door between the living room and driveway opened. Seconds later Monique appeared in the doorway. She looked toward me, not the body. She said “Mark, don’t leave me. I need you to please stay with me.” I had never experienced more love directed at me, ever. In a heartbeat I was back just above my head, comfortably. Monique was holding my head to her cheek with her hands. I felt an indescribable warmth and life force course through my body, starting with the head and flowing to my fingers and toes.

Monique pulled back, continuing to hold my head in her hands, she looked directly at me, face to face. Suddenly, I could see with perfect clarity. First, the physical beauty. Then as we continued to gaze at one another, I perceived a spirit and it occupied the entire room. While my body was still weak, I felt more alive than I ever had in my life.

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Posted in acknowledgments, the future, Uncategorized, wins

Stepping out of line

Posted on February 22, 2010 by | 149 comments

Do not confuse the Reformation with the reform of the Catholic church. The latter was a consequence of the former. The Reformation refers to the reforming of the religion of Christianity. That entailed the breaking of the monopoly the Catholic church held up to that point on Christianity the subject. Reformation began by pointing out to the Pope and Christians what was wrong with the monopoly, setting forth its abuses so that they might be corrected. The all powerful monopoly reacted much like the C of M of today. That is, rather than reform itself it branded the reformers as ‘heretics’, prounouncing them guilty of “blasphemy”. Instead of accepting the labels and conforming, the founders of the Reformation recognized they did not need the church in order to practice their religion.

 The “Counter Reformation”, wherein the Catholic church begrudgingly began to change some protested practices, occured long after the Reformation was in full bloom, only when it became clear that the monopoly had been broken and that in order to survive the Catholic church would have to compete in the marketplace of ideas.

 In the early 16th century Martin Luther didn’t consider then-reigning Pope Leo X was such a bad guy. He recognized however that the Curia and the priesthood had been so thoroughly corrupted over time – and its vested interest in keeping matters corrupt so precious and innate, the only reform of the institution would come as a reaction to enough people refusing to continue to empower and enable it. That is, discontinue lemminmg-like compliance to the church’s anti-Christian practices, and cease contributing to its vast building fund and war chest coffers.

 Luther’s attitude toward Leo X serves to demonstrate how the Scientology Reformation is that much more necessary and inevitable. In contrast to Leo X, Miscavige himself is the author of Reverse Scientology. He micro manages every action and utterance of Scientology management, ruthlessly controlling his kingdom with an iron fist.

 If you think the Catholic church analogy is far out, consider the fact that Miscavige doesn’t. He has directly ordered both Mike Rinder and Tommy Davis to position Miscavige as “the Pope of Scientology”.

 If you believe that Scientology managers will magically arise, topple Miscavige and right the ship you should consider the following facts. The last three people who I witnessed advise Miscavige contrary to his own spontaneous evil impluses on matters of importance were myself, Shelly Miscavige and Mike Rinder. When Mike Rinder told Miscavige which way was up, he was subjected to dozens of ruthless beatings and torture in the Hole (yes, torture by any current, civilized definition of the word). When I attempted to advise Miscavige against insane dictates one too many times, he threw a several hour tantrum at Int HQ whining that nobody in the Sea Org, no public, no media, not even the Internal Revenue Service backflashed him, but I did. His handling was to sentence me to the Hole jail house, where he tried to turn me into a mouse. Mike and I opted out of the game when it became apparent to us that independent thought had been oppressed into oblivion on the Int base and was about to be extinguished in ourselves. Shelly Miscavige was similarly handled by Miscavige. She was sent to do years of hard time at the Church of Spiritual Technology fortified compound near Lake Arrowhead, subjected to personal invalidation to the point of apathy and silence.

 There has been no, NO, check on Miscavige’s evil impulses since. None. The people who remain at Int have long since be neutered of the notion they could ever confront Miscavige. Those who dream of an internal uprising are whistling past their own graveyards. No one is left in Miscavige’s perimeter but mice.

 The idea of declaring independence from the C of M was not an arbitrary one. From long, hard experience we learned that the only way to break free of DM’s stanglehold on thought is to discontinue investing DM with power. In his 1998 profile interview with the SP Times DM defined power as “will people listen to you?” He rose to power on that principle and continues the practices of imprisonment of body and soul on the same principle. To play DM’s game requires you let DM win. He innately and instinctively applies the most ruthless and violent measures to squash dissent or even percieved disloyalty in his environment. This is a man who cannot even play a game of cards without overtly cheating.

 Exercise of independence, both physical and mental, is the historically proven solution to overcoming tyrany. It worked during the Reformation, it worked during the struggle for American Independence, it worked for India following Gandhi’s lead, it worked during the civil rights movement. It is working now.

 It was the factors outlined herein that prompted us to encourage people to overtly declare their independence. The initiaters of the Protestant Reformation did not publish in anonymity or shyly sneak around in the shadows. Nor did the American founding fathers. Nor did Gandhi. Nor did Martin Luther King. They didn’t hide in little cliques and natter about how victimized they had become. A victim causes nothing but his own continued suffering. The only way to ultimately handle oppression and suppression is to turn around and face down the demons that have been hunting you. Only then do suppressives lose their power. Their only strength lies in others’ reluctance to step out of line.

 If you want to be at effect, stay in line, hunch your shoulders and remain silent. If you want to move on over to cause, step out of line with authority and sound off.

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Posted in int base, the future, the Reformation, Uncategorized, wins