I am no angel

 Since DM has been making such an enormous effort to discredit me to actual and potential independents I thought I might finally weigh in.  I’ve heard of people attempting to defend me during church gang-up confrontations. Let me tell you what I’ve told them. I am no angel. I never purported to be one. To try to make me out to be one is a losing proposition.  It is much more productive to demand answers to questions you have formulated by what you have directly observed yourself.  C of M spokespeople will deny everything I have said, regardless of the strength of evidence. The world is flat, and that is that.  Then they will overwhelm you with unending stories of my alleged crimes.  They will even attempt to portray me as acting like I never did anything wrong in my life, precisely what they are falsely asserting about DM and  have no power to deviate from.

What they won’t tell you is that I never claimed to be Little Lord Fautelroy in the first place. Just as I told the St Pete Times the first time they reached out for me. I told them right up front that I had engaged in my share of physical violence in the church, that I had violated the confessional procedure by feeding DM’s black dianetics process of making people guilty of their overts (real and imagined), that I designed and operated systems for keeping people locked in to DM’s nightmare compound. I told them about an illegal act I commited in the McPherson case (which contrary to claims by some, very well could have been prosecuted had the State Attorney had the inclination to). Other crimes were confessed. I wasn’t in a confessional, so didn’t recount every transgression on my track. But, I made it crystal clear I wasn’t purporting to be speaking with clean hands. Because I was not.

In fact, all the church bruhaha about me and my alleged crimes bolsters the credibility of my accounts. Though authorship and ownership is falesly attributed by the church, their utterances confirm the picture of Int Base being the house of horrors that I have described – backed by over 20 public accounts at this time.  Fact of the matter is, if one were squeaky clean one could not have been in a p0sition to observe it. As Robert Bonner (former Director of the Drug Enforcement Administration) once said, “With a plot hatched in hell, don’t expect angels for witnesses.” 

 When I got hit with DM’s barrage of robot responses trying to hang me with his crimes, I had two major answers:

1) First, in my rough estimation 25% of what they alleged about me was true. 25% was embellished. The remaining 50% was manfuctured (much of it accusing me of what DM personally did with his little paws).

2) The BIG LIE in the entire Church presentation on me is the notion that DM was gone from the Int base for much of two years leading up to the end of 2003, when he returned to the base and dropped his jaw in horror at the “reign of terror” the Kingpin had created.  Why do I call it the big lie?  Because in the 42 months leading up to my February 2004 departure from the base, I was OFF the Int base entirely (far away) for 34 of those months. I wasn’t hiding either. Plenty of people saw me at CC Int between July 2001 and April 2002 full time handling Tom Cruise, Jason Beghe, Isaac Hayes, and driving the org into a two year unbroken affluence by insisting upon implementation of HCO PL How To Boom An Org Through Training. If you doubt the latter, ask Dave Petit about it (note his facial expression when he tells you it isn’t so).  Between April 2002 and late August 2003 I was in Clearwater almost continuously and I was plainly visible there. I was handling the McPherson Civil case, a PRO area control program, getting Cruise through OT VI, and helping DM’s sister evade suboenas from the Security and Exchange Commmission investigation into her and Brian Zwann.  During that entire time, DM was primarily at the Int base. How do I know? Because I had to report to the queen of micro management many times a day by phone during that entire 2 1/2 year period. In fact, it was I who came back to the base after a long absence to discover the Jonestownsian cult compound DM had created.

That’s it.  Otherwise, I am guilty and complicit in the gross out tech, empowering DM’s black dianetics campaign, and yes physical violence that had become rampant on the base. It sickened me to the core, and it lead to me leaving  exactly as stated in my video taped interviews now available on the St Pete Times web site (see the link on the right hand column on this blog).

 That DM is currently sending missionaires around the world to trot out my secret declare order and 250 pages of affidavits from 25 top Int robots to demonstrate my evil, while to this day denying EVERY single fact we’ve disclosed (which is now backed by more than 20 on record witnesses) about his own conduct is I believe testament to what I’ve been communicating on this blog. That is, there is very little chance for change within. There is no room for independent, decent and pro-survival initiative to reverse the course.  It is testament that DM is using his iron grip to prevent the possibility of case gain for C of M’s top managers – and of course himself – and increasingly so for even public – by enforcing they live and forward LIES. 

I believe Scientology is all about redemption. I subscribe to LRH’s view that ANYONE can trim his or her sheets (sails) and live a productive life.  That is what I am trying to do now. I think that is what a lot of us are trying to do now.  Let us never forget what LRH wrote in Data Series 23, “The heart of Review is HUMILITY.”

Back to the issue at hand.  Don’t try to defend me.  It is a losing cause. The Lord knows that – and  if you listen to what I’ve been saying you’ll know it too. If I can help people to look for themselves, I’ll keep doing it.  But, if you are going to make a decision to leave the grips of the monster, do it based on your own observations of what you witness. If you are in doubt, go look more deeply. Question authority.  But just don’t simply hang your hat on me; it is liable to get shot full of holes.  Then they’ll sentence you to  purgatory forever. 

Instead, apply the Code of Honor and LRH’s definition of Personal Integrity. If you do so for real, I guarantee you’ll be in fat city (in a spiritual sense) from here on out.

181 responses to “I am no angel

  1. Fellow Traveller

    Thank you!

    I personally think we are fortunate to have you as one of the lightening rods for the reform. Ah, those identities assigned or otherwise granted.

    2 comments come to mind and I hope the insouciance and respect( in that order) is conveyed here:

    1) Can I make an advanced payment towards a signed copy of *your* book? Does it come with a nondisclosure agreement?

    2) Where is that liability write up? I’ll sign it, with pleasure. Unfortunately, I don’t think my hands are clean enough to warrant being a proper signatory.

  2. Thank you for telling us this.

    “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

    You have shown, and continue to show your ethics change, and contribute to the greater good. I consider you a friend.

    Frankly, all this Blame, Shame and Regret just needs to be gotten over, and the show put on the road. There is more breaking loose now in the Independent Field than I have ever seen before.
    People reaching for, and receiving Standard Tech, comm lines opening up, and out of this world wins. (I can attest to the latter….just started my NOTs and have been on a floating TA for the last 3 days…;) )

    So in short…YES! Honesty is the road to sanity, and the world BEGINS with TR O.

    Question Authority. LOOK, don’t listen.

    And get your enhancement in.

    The biggest heartbreak of this whole thing to me is that very decent, able people did not GET Scientology applied to them. Not even a shoddy substitute…..just some bank dramatization.

  3. Given the nature of who you are, where you’ve come from, how much tech you know and how well you’ve practiced it in the past, I for one will not dare to do for you what you can do for you in spades!

    All I ask is to keep me notified when the offensive is going to begin! I’d love to show up in LA just to make the announcement, “Management, it is a changin’.”

  4. Good post, Marty. 🙂


  5. Fellow Traveller

    PS. OK. I will not defend you.

    I will defend your attempt to Keep Scientology Working. I will defend your actions to travel the road to truth. And I will use the treatment you and your associates receive to help shine the light of truth on what is in full application of these axioms:




  6. Marty – as you know, I am now a practicing buddhist. Part of the Kagyu lineage – often called “The Mishap Lineage”

    Why? Because many of the highly respected, listened to lamas of old were — incredible screw ups. Human beings who did things they were sorry for, who were suffering because of what they had done and changed.

    One much beloved “saint” in the lineage is Milarepa.

    His uncle had stolen his father’s inheritance Milarepa’s mother begged him to learn black magic and revenge them. He did and caused the death of 35 people.

    Overcome with grief, remorse and shame — he embarked on a renunciant life. Found a teacher, and for years and years worked to make amends. He eventually became fully enlightened.

    Milarepa’s teachings are taught to this day. He died in 1135AD

    Life isn’t without messes. It’s not a black and white thing. It bleeds (LRH said that somewhere).

    The key to me is whether each of us can own our shame, can see WHY we fell into a suppressive valence and without blaming the SP — step away and apologize and work to make life better for everyone.

    I see you doing that every day on this blog.



  7. TheEmperorIsNaked

    I agree. This is an incredible site Marty. I personally think you have courage and integrity.

    But for handling church terminals, I recommend http://www.friendsoflrh.org/. As you read, drag out the policies and bulletins and read for yourself. Then sit down and write out your position. Get it clear in your own mind. Observe. Drag out those old Auditor issues and church mags and check the completions, etc.

    Later when I talked to church terminals I stuck with the policy. I decided up front that my relaying other person’s data was not workable for me. I reread Personal Integrity (as I do occasionally) and it just works better to base your life and opinions and conclusions on your own personal observations as per this reference.

    That said, under the right circumstances I would defend Marty. A lot of us have stuff to answer for. Staff have seen things off-policy and been too busy to take it up. Public too. I’ve certainly been on course and read something that seemed from another church, not mine. But I was too afraid, or too stuck in being a follower to do anything about it.

    But what will get you mileage (hopefully) with church terminals is LRH references. Marty can be dead agented, LRH is a tougher matter (although both are being attempted). Even if you don’t get a product in your cycle, a lot of us saying “how about this LRH policy – why aren’t we following that?”, will eventually bear fruit, at least by waking others up.

    Thanks Marty.

  8. It’s pretty easy to prove there is not one Scientologist who has not made mistakes, violated their integrity, violated their sense of honor, and violated KSW.

    “In the presence of suppression one makes mistakes.” — LRH

    The Data Series reveals who the real SP is because the predominance of outpoints all trace back to David Miscavige. We are making huge inroads and as a result the real SP is howling to the moon. Let him howl. No one is listening.

  9. All I can say Marty is if you’re no Angel you’re in very good company.
    What’s done is done, the important thing is what we do here and now.
    But I will defend you. And I will defend any other member of this group – a snarling defense no less.
    Those that would mess with one of us, mess with all of us.
    Incidentally thank you so much for the deep belly laugh when I read that you are no Angel and then saw the devilish smile on your photo. I don’t think you need to convince us!
    We do know that DM is an Angel though don’t we? Lucifer…

  10. I can absolutely corroborate what Marty says, that DM was at the base for most of the time between 2001, 2002 and 2003. During that time I worked in CMU and for the last two years was heavily involved in the marketing of the books and lectures today known as The Basics. Our little team of marketing people: Jeff Hawkins, Mariette Lindstein, Gerti Wagner, Cebron Walker and myself met several times a week, at least, with DM, often along with other CMU execs, Gold execs and the usual band of criminals from Int. There were periods when DM was off the base for some event but for the vast majority of the time, HE WAS THERE. If the place morphed into Jamestown North, it was under David Miscavige’s fist, not Marty’s. In fact, from August 2003, when Marty says he came back to the base, until Xmas 2003, when I took off, I don’t even recall seeing him around much. He certainly wasn’t in any of those meetings on books and lectures. Many marketing and R Comps people have since left the SO and can further corroborate Marty’s statements.
    None of us were angels but some of us have come to our senses.

  11. I know you’re not an angel Marty 0le boy, who is?

    Why I could even go so far as to say I’m not an angel! 🙂

  12. Dear Marty: you have gotten others to look and to question and that in itself is a good thing.The blog has provided a place to speak the truth and I can see has helped many people. It truly brings one up through their own conditions in life. The code of Honor is what I try and live by.

    I thank you for coming forward and putting this here as I know myself I had my own knowledge of what was going on and for myself could not contribute to it anymore. DM and his minions are truly incapable of knowing the truth let alone applying it.

    I thank all of you who dedicated your lives to making a better planet and as a result you are better for it.


  13. Oh that’s it I’m outta’ here!
    Just kidding.

    “How do you not discover a secret of existence? Well, the best way not to discover it is to back up from it and sit still. If you are going up toward infinity, for heaven’s sakes, examine infinity. Infinity would consist of everything, wouldn’t it, just at first glance and first analysis. And so that would mean sweeping action, it would mean sweeping decision, it would be “to be.” But in order to be you have to have willingness to be, and as you go up the line – all angels have two faces: one white, one black – you have to be willing to destroy as well as willing to create. “To be” is everything, and therefore as you go up the line, you have to be willing to risk, to dare.”

    -LRH from (Outline of Technique 80)
    19 May 52′

  14. martyrathbun09

    Carol, I join you in thanking them too.

  15. Hi Marty,
    Thanks for that posting. Such honesty requires great strength of character. Your presence in the Independent Field is a much valued one.

  16. martyrathbun09

    Sam, I know you will…cause you are a sweet, beautiful pit bull.

  17. martyrathbun09

    Emporer, thanks for the wise advise. I concur.

  18. martyrathbun09

    WH, thanks…there’s hope for all of us.

  19. Personally, Marty, I never expected you to be an angel. And I’m much more inclined to trust a reformed sinner than a pious (bleep).

    The indicators that mattered to me were evident in the video where you were talking about auditing and helping people (SP Times video).

    That’s what matters most – a genuine desire to help – followed by valuable actions of help.

    As you’ve said before, we must avoid getting caught up in dm’s GPM gambit.

    His current strategy seems to be the SP variant of bait-and-badger, ie. bait you into doing some minor wrong so that he can jump on you legally and be able to scream “See! I told you so!”

    It’s still a time for calm confront of the evil.

  20. Thank you. It’s beyond important to be honest and straight. The irony of course is the inability to both be in the (current) church and live a truthful existence.

    What you wrote today is important. It increases your credibility because there is no way you were an angel in the position you were in.

    I appreciate your honesty.

  21. Thank you, Marty, for the honesty and the good advice. I continue to support you, and to site you as a reliable and well-informed source of what has gone on and what is going on within the rotting and dying c of m.

    It must drive dm even crazier that he can’t manipulate you with threats to expose your crimes, and that people who will listen to you
    (dm’s own definition of power) just don’t care
    about those crimes at this point.

    Because after all, who among us is not in need of a little redemption? (And you don’t have to be a scientologist to see the good in that).

  22. Thank you Marty.

    This post is exactly why I believe you more than I will ever believe the Holier-than-Thou Church of Scn.

  23. Thanks Marty, I’m not an angel either, but like to help others with LRH’s tech! That said what’s the problem?

  24. Thought provoking

    Sage advice, Marty. I remember you saying much the same thing after my first posting on this blog.

    I think the hardest thing for me was knowingly shaking up my own stable datums about Scientology.

    As I confronted my doubt formula, I had never imagined that LEAVING the church would ever be the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics. But, when I really looked at the code of honor and my own personal integrity I could clearly see that It was the right thing to do.

    I think the thing that I have most noticed since leaving the church is that I am no longer in fear of losing my eternity. LRH gave us the tech to use, and it was free. Despite statements to the contrary, it will always be free.

    Scientology is THETA and THETA is senior to MEST.

  25. Marty, I always thought that your admissions of being involved in violence always boosted your credibility; it essentially defused the allegations the Church made against you.

    Beyond that, I always thought the Church’s response was strange at best. If one completely accepted their version of the story, one comes to the conclusion that people were abused at Int. Base for years and during that time, not ONE complaint was made to law enforcement, not even after the fact.

    Even if it were true that you were the only person responsible, the question would have to be, how could an organization allow that to continue?

    The Church essentially seemed to be saying, come and work for us at Gold Base, you might get abused by someone other than DM, and the high level of security there will be of no protection to you whatsoever.

    By pulling out all the stops to discredit you, they really put themselves in a bind.

    I would guess you anticipated that; I always thought it was a great play of “PLEASE don’t throw me in the briar patch!”

  26. Barney Rubble

    I can attest Marty and I had an “incident” several years back that had a major effect on me. I can also attest that he and I have resolved this by spotting the arbitraries that caused the mess to begin with. Marty, I also note took responsibility for his actions.

    In truth, spotting the actual source of suppression -the C of M- allowed me to end cycle on this “incident”.

    No, this is not defending you, it’s just the truth.

  27. Thought provoking

    Boyd, that was an awesome quote!

    Thank you!

  28. Marty not an angel after all? Damn there goes my stable datum!

    To me the common denominator of this group is the application in real life of the Code of Honour. The making others guilty of their overts is the key thing that made me start looking for real at what had happened to my Church. Just 8 short months ago when I questioned my OT VIII FSM outside the Refectory at St Hill about why Flag had blatantly and unapologetically delivered squirrel tech to me her immediate response was “what have you done?” That was it. I was sick of being made to feel guilty about everything. That wasn’t LRH.

    I consider one of greatest tragedies of all this is the blackening of others cases and hence their spiritual well being as you said so eloquently above: “DM is using his iron grip to prevent the possibility of case gain for C of M’s top managers – and of course himself – and increasingly so for even public – by enforcing they live and forward LIES”. That is simply evil, pure and simple. Whenever I hear some one say – as I did recently – say something like “Yes, but to play Devil’s Advocate, didn’t DM do a great job on…” I just think about this above. NOTHING excuses that sort of evil to my mind. There is a reference – Flag Order I believe – where LRH says that making others guilty of their overts is the most suppressive action of all. DM manages to take this even a step further – making others guilty of not just their own but also HIS overts! A vile and unforgivable trick.

    Anyway, sorry mate but you aint gonna stop me defending you, as I would any of my friends. I laughed out loud when I saw on a natter board that apparently you were in cahoots with DM. What a hoot! And as I pointed out to Minerva, who was desperately trying to convince me you were the bad guy, this movement is far bigger than any one individual. I hope you continue to do what you are doing for a long long time. But if you moved on, the momentum would not. We’ve stood up, we’ve stated our position, we will carry on communicating for good and for truth, and nothing will stop us now.

  29. Marty,

    If DM thinks he can turn us against you by insinuation that you “did some bad things” then he must think we are a bunch of short circuiting robots. What a load of poop!

    I am sure you bashed a few people. Hell, when I was caving in from out-tech in my life I nearly got into a few fights myself, and almost hit a reg who degraded me in front of a room full of people. I wish I had, now that I look back. Perhaps I would have been shown the door earlier and at great cost savings.

    Marty, I don’t always agree with you, especially your political views. But, I admire and appreciate your dedication to getting LRH applied 100% as HE intended it to be, and not selling it as something manufactured on Madison Ave.

    I have to admit something – and I will write this in full view of the group – I really wish you would have physically fought back against DM the few times he assaulted you, and given him a dose of his midget medicine. Then again, you may have killed the little twirp, and that would have been a life altering situation for sure, and not for the best.

    There, now I have shown that I am not an angel either. But I do work at being the best imperfect person I know I can attain to in this life.

    Centurion (sweetness and light variety)

  30. Marty,

    Thank you for being honest and caring. The more DM tries to discredit you, the clearer it becomes that he is covering his own crimes.

    Your actions within the past year is a clear evidence of what a great and responsible being you are. Thank you for all you are doing.

    You are definitely loved and appreciated by many of us.

  31. The hell with Angels, the hell with Devils, and the Hell with the Judgement of another.

    Just be yourself, any way desire.

    Is this planet a bit better because of you?

    I think so.

  32. My OSA handler was telling me what a horrible person you were. My response was: “Yes, he admitted his wrong doings in the St Pete Times. Now what about DM?” There was not a single admittance of any wrong doing on the part of DM. Only how awesome he was. A true Saint. Now I have personally run into DM and after the 4th run in with that man, I knew how to avoid him because every confrontation I had left me in a degraded state. None of us are little angels. And DM knows that and will dig up any dirt to discredit our observations. By coming forward and telling us the truth about your wrong doing, I had forgiven you right then and there. I admire your courage.

  33. Virgil Samms

    Thanks Marty, but you do not have to defend yourself. In fact it is almost Glutz PR that you do.

    You took on the midget and he is attacking back as best he could. What did you expect? But if this is the best he can do, then what’s the sweat?

    In the words of the Talking Heads; “This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around.” This is actual war Marty and the two opposing generals are not using artillery, they are using words. Harsh words. So buck up and get used to it. We are standing and fighting and we will continue to fight until the midget is cell mates with Bubba.

    Will Rogers: “You can tell a leader by how many people follow him.” Okay, start counting noses. I think there are a lot of people following you.

  34. Marty,
    As a veteran auditor you already know that if you looked in my ethics file, or the ethics files of most people, you would find that we all have something (or multiple somethings) to be very ashamed of. That is probably the single biggest reason many people, myself included, don’t go fully independent yet. That’s purely my own hunch. DM is a clever guy. He knows that we all have guilt and shame at what’s in our files and he is willing to use it against us, despite our courage to come forward with our overts in the first place when we were in the church. Well, whether you’re a saint or not, 30 minutes into your video interview I woke up. Everything I had observed that was just plain “wrong” in the church, suddenly had an explanation. For that, I thank you. Should I ever need to get in comm with the OSA bots I will stick with what I’ve observed and not with what you have observed. But, on a personal note, you were the catalyst that free’d me up from the koolaid addiction. Many people on this site could probably say something similar. A little havingness for you. Thanks man!

  35. Huh. Isn’t this the “prison planet”? All us criminals here in the boat together, navigating into the future, working on getting it right this time?

    Thanks anyway CoS (bla bla bla), you’re not the boss of me. I’ll just keep my eye on the products being produced – so far, just the community growing here is oh so good, not to mention (IMHO) the by-products of increased awareness and self-determinism of those who are looking for themselves.

    The god in me respectes the god in you – Namaste. S’all good, dude.

  36. Ignazio, That is one of the most succint and accurate statements of what the majority of us are all about. Truth is usually simple.

  37. Damn…and I thought I was runnin’ with virgins of a sort.

  38. In a special series beginning Monday, March 29th, CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° takes a close and revealing look at the leadership of the worldwide church of Scientology. The week-long series, Scientology: A History of Violence, will examine allegations that Scientology leader David Miscavige has for years beaten, kicked and choked top members of the church. These are allegations the church aggressively denies, saying violence from inside came from those making the claim.

    Anderson Cooper will speak with former, high ranking members from the Church’s inner circle, who says the David Miscavige not only carried out, but encouraged the culture of violence at the highest levels of the church management. Cooper will also speak with members who claim extreme hardships, and some say intimidation, the church imposes on anyone who decides to leave and speak out.

    Scientology: A History of Violence will air at 10pm ET on CNN and will also air on CNNInternational. Anderson Cooper 360° airs weeknights on CNN at 10pm ET.

  39. martyrathbun09

    pickin’ up hookers instead of my pen
    I let the words of my youth fade away
    old worn out saddles, and old worn out memories
    with no one and no place to stay…
    My heroes have always been cowboys…
    – Vaughn, Sharon (best sung by Willie of course)

  40. I really appreciate you saying this! What has becoming the turning point in my family in discussing this whole situation is that I finally stopped using you as a source or even bringing your name up, but instead focused the conversations towards what we could observe and what we could personally verify was wrong with the church. Before long every single member of my family (including a few new OT’8s) have concurred that something is terribly wrong and within good conscious and integrity cannot support the church anymore.

    The main things in which I kept beating the same drum were:

    1. If all of the int mgmt that are currently out were sp’s what took DM so long to figure this out and to keep them on high level posts for so long? Either way he looks like a fool.

    2. Ideal org program – where is the policy that supports this? no answers from our local orgs, we have asked.

    3. Why is the main stat all about big bldgs? where does this measure real production. In the real world, sure real estate shows earnings, but not in this case, because the money is donated, it is not real money earned or production exchanged for cash. It is a lie!

    4. Once known booming orgs like OC, and other orgs are scarcely populated and staff holding several positions if not a whole division.

    5. A long time sea org member who was with LRH and is in the sea org currently, communicated that she is living in a police state, even at PAC base. Her only allegiance is to LRH and can’t jump ship.

    6. None of us have been called in the last 2-3 years to buy our next service, every single phone call we have gotten has been to buy books and tapes, ideal org donations and mandatory briefings.

    7. Those people who have gotten any training or processing have some understanding of the mind (we hope anyway). You can see that a socio-path who doesn’t trust people and thinks that “everyone” is out to do him in, is someone who would enforce and beef up sec checking. They (DM) are certain that everyone is a bunch of SP’s so you have to sec check the hell out of them looking for the crime. You may not think that at the time of a sec check on the level, but after all said and done and you look back, doing all of those sec checks was to satisfy only one person – DM. He can’t trust anyone, therefore his answer is to increase sec checking. Just look at the pattern of a socia-path, and it all starts to make sense some of the programs and decisions that have come out of INT, and they are still being made.

    8. what has happened to a lot of the old timers? We have been around since the 70’s and can’t count on one hand people who we knew from the old days that are still around. and that spans on several continents!

    And the final straw for all of us was watching this video – http://www.scientology-cult.com/videos/misha-priv-videos.html

    The thing that hit home for all of us was Misha was okay with the living conditions, he was in for saving planet earth, for god sakes he is a tough russian! When life gets bad for a Russian and the environment is not acceptable, you must know something is really wrong, Russians are some of the most toughest people I know on this planet.

    So take Marty’s advice, and just look at the facts, ask for real data and real references. Go with your gut, and instinct. Take the first step and just grant beingness to your own observations, then take the next step and do something about them!

  41. martyrathbun09

    Lucy, Wow. Nice rundown.

  42. Marty,

    What you are doing now is great and very powerful. No question your blog and all your exposes, all based on first hand insights into the life and doingness of “dear leader”, are very effective actions to debunk the myth dm has built about himself.

    For sure, your blog and exposes have created a formidable force to restore KSW. And your blog entry today adds to this and further enhances your credibility.

    You are a VERY powerful being, Marty. You were that inside the CoS and are that now outside the CoS. But just giving you a lot of accolades is not in your best interest, so I would like to add this:

    In many ways you owe what you are doing now to the public and the many SO and ex-SO staff, whom you directly affected during your 25 years in power, when you were not just the right hand but also the left hand of “dear leader”.

    “dear leader” could have never become what he is now without you. I know you know this but it also has to be said in this context, for this blog entry to be complete.

    dm could have never gotten the status and power he has now if he would not have had your dedicated support for over 25 years. You were the most powerful enforcer of dm’s “command intention”, for over 25 years — especially during those seminal years in the 80s, when dm was making his power grab with you right next to him. You were not just one of several execs backing dm you were THE exec enforcing his command intention, and we all knew it and saw it that way when anything was said or written by you.

    Hundreds of ex-SO are befitting from your actions now and that is great.
    But it is also a fact that hundreds if not thousands of dedicated SO and Scientology publics were mentally damaged and driven away from Source because of the support you had given “dear leader” for over 25 years.

    You almost managed to stop me from leaving the SO just when the rein of terror started in earnest. To this day, many many years later, I still thank god that my self-determinism and integrity was stronger than your intentions back then.

    No you are no angle. NONE of us is, for sure.

    But some of us are more powerful and affect more lives than others, and they then also have that much more damage to make up.

    You mention Data Series Tech, a tech near and dear to my heart. As I mentioned in other blog posts I did “dear leader” is just the WHO.

    As you well know Data Series applied correctly leads to THE WHY.

    The WHY for the current scene is a lack of LRH, a lack of practicing KSW in all parts of one’s life — by current staff and, I believe, many public.

    In our HANDLING we need to focus on coming with Bright Ideas for getting more LRH applied –not just in the Independent Field but also in all the Orgs, by all staff and public. Insisting that they always ask for the LRH reference, always follow Source and NOTHING else is an obvious handling step and a powerful action. But there must be other Bright Ideas and given your skills I am sure you could come up with a lot.

    The current fixation on “dear leader” and the continuing urge to expose him and his crimes as our main task will just get rid of a WHO but not handle the WHY. It will in fact empower “dear leader”, since it creates a games condition, which is the very thing “dear leader” wants.

    Your thoughts?

  43. Kathy Braceland

    Marty, I’m shocked! You’re not an angel? Well, you’re in good company…none of us are. No offense but I really don’t care what overts you committed…I know you don’t care about mine either. All the good you’ve done far outweighs any bad. I sure hope you’ve taken the luxury of stepping back and looking at all the tremendous effects you’ve created, all the people you have helped lead better lives. You’re Keeping Scientology Working — everything right about that!

    As far as not defending you — well, that just won’t happen. Remember the movie “Spartacus?” Well — I’M SPARTACUS!

  44. martyrathbun09

    LRH-legacy, you are absolutely right about one thing, I do consider I have a larger responsibility than most anyone else. Your “facts” about the early eighties dub in on my ability or even the possibility of doing anything from my position or even having the time to (since I was working for Ron’s defense the entire time) is terribly misinformed. One thing that is great about taking due responsibility is one leaves blame, shame and regret behind. I find it very productive. Hopefully, everyone will find his own correct level of responsibility and productivity.

  45. martyrathbun09

    Right on Kathy.

  46. Luis Agostini

    Greatness, to me, also includes having established and maintaining the willingness and the strength to recognize, acknowledge, own up to one’s own flaws and/or “incorrectnesses”, and make the correction… especially under the heat of being criticized or attacked. It is the staying bigger (greater) than one’s own desires to be seen or regarded as flawless or awesome.

    And it is, to me, the best fuel to make growing possible and to be making happen in the physical universe what is in ones.

    It is also what makes this blog so enjoyable and constructive to me. It is endowed with souls that own that part of greatness.

    And it is your creation Marty and your example that is contributing to its occurrence.

  47. Marty,

    Thanks for the reply.

    I might have some historic facts wrong but my main concern still remains:

    That we need to focus on handling the hell out of the WHY rather than fixate most our time and effort on eliminating the WHO.

    Any comments or thoughts on that?

  48. Having spent 6 hours just the other day with two MAAs, getting the full “Marty is an SP” briefing, I found it disturbing that my own experiences within the church that brought me to my decision to leave were not addressed or of any concern.

    The concern was not that I had left the church, but more about who I was or wasn’t connected to. The viewpoint of the church appears to be that those of us who left did so because of someone else’s influences or what someone else has said. Not because of any actions taken by the church itself.

    The truth is my road out of the church was because of what I saw, experienced and disagreed with. No amount of black PR on someone else is going to change what my experience was and continues to be.

    The two gals I met with were bright, dedicated Sea Org members, doing that they feel they had to do. It saddened me to see the limited viewpoint. Even though these same two were responsible for close friends of mine disconnecting from me, I still felt compassion for them, as I know one day they will have to confront what they did and the destruction through disconnection that they brought to families and relationships, and for what?

  49. Marty, the C of S will always try to change the subject away from the abuse, fraud and human rights violations that they have perpetrated and try to make the conversation about the personalities of their critics. It’s what they do. I recently posted an article about Religious Extremism on my Leaving Scientology blog, and this was one of the characteristics of the religious extremist cited: “Extremists often attack the character of an opponent rather than deal with the facts or issues raised. They will question motives, qualifications, past associations, alleged values, personality, looks, mental health, and so on as a diversion from the issues under consideration.”

  50. Thank you for your courage against villainy, horrors, and abuse. For shining light on lies. For sticking your neck out. There are no prerequisites of saintliness required to do that.
    May you prosper. You deserve it.

    Shame on DM. May the eyes of the blind be opened soon so reformation frees those enslaved who would otherwise use their time, wealth and influence to truly help others.

  51. Marty congratulations with your win on healthcare having been a activist in the electorial campaign of Barack Obama.

    The next two steps to be taken are: taking on the big American health insureance companies and the big American pharmacautical industry. People pay for health not for exuberant saleries of fat-cat top executives. It will safeguard the new healthcare systems survival for the future.

    taking care of eachother is nothing to feel ashamed about.

    With high hopes CD


  52. Fellow Traveller

    I tried to pick up, well maybe not the first, but at least one, stone, but damn it, it kept slipping out of my bloody hand and hitting me on the foot.

    As food for further thought, looking at the time line for the Jonesifcation of the base, it really intensified when Marty *was not there*. Perhaps he is partially responsible for that deterrent — a good thing — as well.

    Just thinkin’ and sayin’ .

  53. Ted Turner comes through or at the very least his spirit of fairness that he put into his creation CNN.


    -Turner’s penchant for controversial statements earned him the nickname “The Mouth of the South”.-

  54. None of are angels Marty.

    If we were we wouldn’t be here.

    The attacks from the currently Psychotic Church of Scientology are just the ravings of lunatics.

    I remember the security check list we used to do at AOLA asking the question is the Pre OT a lunatic which according to the definition is someone who is unwilling to get trained and help others.

    How many people has the Church helped or trained with this lunatic fully in charge?

    Answer: very few if any.

    In fact I was reading some promo set to me the other day from ASHO formerly the “Home of the Saint Hill Special Briefing Course” now “The Home of the Basics”.

    Say what!!!!!!

    They’ve just taken the American Saint Hill. An org that used to deliver the course that made a Hubbard Senior Scientologist and turned it into a Franchise or City Office delivering Div VI Basic Courses!

    Writing of that:

    Some time back I got a call from a reg there who tried to sign me up for the basics.

    I told her that I wasn’t interested because I had already studied the basics when I did the SHSBC and before that on my levels training and besides I thought their job was to make auditors not have people on Div VI courses.

    She then said something like; “we’re more into making Scientologists than auditors.”. As if the two were somehow mutually exclusive!



    Thanks to call recognition I don’t ever have to talk to that person again.

    Which leaves just us.


    You ain’t no angel but at least you, I and the rest of us are heading in the right direction. The org is going nowhere, whether it is being led by a silly little mental case who has the intelligence of a gnat or a vast Government or Intergalactic conspiracy. Someone has pulled the handle and its now circling around the bowl!

    So it leaves just us and who cares about the past.

    It’s what we all do here and now.

    On that note Marty, I thought I’d leave you with what I think is an appropiate tune:


    Keep the faith Marty.

    We got your back.



  55. LRH-Legacy: The fascinating thing about life is that EVERYTHING is interrelated and interdependent.

    You wouldn’t be who you are today were it not for everything that happened to you — including Marty trying to stop you from leaving the SO.

    You’ve been able to reflect and look at yourself.

    It’s absolutely impossible for any of us to say WHAT could have happened IF Marty hadn’t supported dm. Would someone else have come along and done the same service?

    We cannot know. We can only know where we are TODAY and where we would like to go.

    Will we get there? No telling.

    History has countless examples of human rights violations/war/inquisitions that continued UNTIL the barbaric leaders were stopped.

    First — let’s get rid of the current barbarism. THEN we can come up with bright expansion ideas.



  56. You can borrow my halo:)

  57. Marty, I never met you when you were in the SO. I don’t know what went on there, but I have no reason to disbelieve you. For what it’s worth, I certainly wasn’t an angel when I was in either. I’ve told just the smallest part of my story over on Geir’s board.

    That said, what’s posted here is incredibly valuable. You have a great sense of narrative, and how to unfold a story (such as that of Debbie Cook) so that people really understand the whole piece.

    Plus a lot of people have told their stories on your blog.

    Both of these are worth defending.

  58. “As a case gains it gains in responsibility. As it gains in responsibility, the pc remembers more withholds and considers the things he has done
    more in the light of having been overts. If the case isn’t given a chance to get rid of these, it stalls. Or the pc is half killed by realizations that he has been bad when the targets of his overts unlessen from pigs to people. Therefore it is brutally unkind to improve a case without then removing the withholds now realized. This is also an
    excellent therapeutic mechanism.” HCOB 5 June 61.

  59. Dear Marty,

    There is so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the in the badest. Who dares then to judge (is somehow like this from LRH).
    the greatest overt is to make other guilty of overts (state of men congress) and we are not in this game as the christian churches are.
    You have courage, you have confessed and you are taking responsibilty for your deeds. Bravo !
    I wish others would do it too….
    One has just to look at your Video and into your eyes to see that you were honestly telling the truth and that it wasn’t easy for you. You just could have run away and have a good life but you didn’t (as many others did…). Because of you telling the truth S.O. members are having a better life…nearly no more freeloader bills…getting audited..and much more will come.
    More you open your mouth and indicate the out ethics of the C.O.S, more pressure they have to get their ethics in.
    Miscavige likes to get people into his entourage that are real bullies and my observation is that from 1982 on execs that were bullies, just could stay on their post, nevertheless the reports being written about their out-ethics.
    Guillaume Lesevre, even that he had some good sides, was also one of those. Allready in a staff meeting (I never forgot) in about april 1978 he told: “If i could do it, I would cancel all missions and franchises”. I really could see then his emotion of jealousy about their success. Read here what he said at the mission conference in 1982:
    I’ve been building orgs and running orgs for the last 6 years. When I started in Europe there were 10 Claus IV orgs, there are now 34 Class IV Orgs.
    So honestly, I know what I’m talking about Now all the time I’ve been doing that there’s one thing that struck me very strongly. One major situation that I’ve been running into … the biggest block on the bridge and that is the flow from the mission to the nearest Class IV Org.
    Now this is a situation, this is a situation that I’ve noticed in Europe, it’s even worse in the United States. Last week out of 83 or 84 missions, there were 15 people sent to an org. In one week! Now this is a situation I’m not asking you what’s needed and wanted from me, right now. I’m going to tell you what’s needed and wanted from youA lot of things have been happening that have been gone over by previous people have been speaking such as squirrelling…
    I know of that in Europe, I know that if that has been happening in Europe it has been happening in the United States. But the main situation is that they don’t send the public to the nearest Class IV Org….
    What do you get in exchange? You want to know what you get in exchange, I was told maybe you were wondering what you would then get personally. You get a Clear planet. That’s what you would get….
    As a Commanding Officer for many years, one of the main things I’ve been dealing with is people not wearing their hat. You Mission Holders, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t you? …
    Now an organization is a group of people working together with a common purpose. But it’s a group of people working in a coordinated way and organized way. Everyone wearing his hat. Not a mob! Somebody doing OP 4D over there, somebody selling Ruth Mishull book over there. Everybody doing what he thinks should really be done. Know-besting around.
    I’m talking to you like if I was talking to my own staff members as I’ve done for years…
    We’ve got to clear the planet. We’re not there to make a club. I know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m sure you do also. This is going to change now. It is a major situation.
    Now. Being a major situation it’s stopping the progress of Scientology clearing the planet. Now, as you’ve heard, now is the time where we’re going to count who is with us and who is against us…..If you get this quota met, you’re going to get backup. You’re going to get all the backup in the world. You don’t, you won’t get backup and a lot of other things as well…….The other thing I want to say is, I want to stress again — this is the moment when we’re going to find out who is with us and who is not with us.
    I can tell you something. I had not much troubles with missions in the past that in one country in Europe I forbad that there were any missions. It was forbidden in that country. That was Italy. Now that country is a country that is expanding the most, where Scientology expanded the fastest on the whole planet.
    No missions, not one.
    I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be missions. That is just to show we don’t owe anything to the world. We don’t have to have anybody. Is that clear?……
    You see, LRH says you handle the field with PR only. Point. His state of mind in 1982 already was in big agreement with DM, if he didn’t at all think the whole mission conference out and DM took his ideas. HE stated allready in 1978 that he wants to cancels missions, before he even met DM and so he did it in 1982.
    Italy was always booming, had nevertheless lots of missions. But the main reason that they were booming were their leaders, not FOLO EU, they have and had great people endowed with lots of theta. FOLO EU always wanted to implement, and still tries nowadays, the successful actions of Italy in other european countries. It never worked, as the main point was the individuals doing it like Pier Paderni and others, that were great disseminators.
    Then you have Walter kotric a great follower of DM, that is since long time CO CLOEU. He too is a weird bully. At an Ot conference by the opening of the ideal Org of Berlin (that now is empty) where only OTs were aloud he spoke with a bright grin on his face about how outethics we Ot all are and sooner or later the Sea-Org will arrive in our Town and get us to confront our overts……….
    I knew the guy when he started in Scientology 1975, he was a 1.1 and joking around, not too bright….and suddenly he was CO EU, I couldn’t believe it, it didn’t make any sense for me and so once at an event I tried to get in comm with him, he treated me like a piece of shit in front of other publics, very humuliating.
    I could go of for some dozen of pages elaborating about how the booms from 1978 to 1982 were created by LRH (Nots, clear Bulletin, Purification Rundown, Happiness rundowsn etc..) but will stop here.
    Also there are quite some other bullies (co’s of orgs that closed terminals with DM i could write on.
    Marty I’m really happy you recognized those people as that what they are : bullies. And that you no more want to be a member of them !
    I’ll sign your liability formula. Above post was point 3 done.



  60. Help,

    A wave of entheta is spreading over Germany. A movie will be shown in TV by 31.3.2010 about a true story of a family in Scientology and other documentaries.
    Will the indies send over their PR’s (Christie, Mike and Geir) so that the people learn to differentiate beetween Scientology and the C.O.M ? 🙂


  61. Oh, and Redemption:

  62. Marty, I wrote this in 2004 and I think it applies


    And the flowers belong to me
    And the sunsets,
    And the wisps of a cloud.

    I can hear the smiles
    And see the sighs
    Of my fellow beings –

    My wings are unfolded
    And I’ve remembered how
    To fly.

    Out of sadness and
    Darkness I’ve come
    And into it I am willing to
    If it means I can create
    Light, if I can be a signpost
    For joy and emanate Life.

    To be Light I am willing to
    Be Dark
    To be Freedom I am willing to
    Be the cage and the keeper,
    Keys and Lock.

    For Fear I have not.

    Mary Jo Leavitt
    June 12, 2004

  63. Not an angel puts you in very, very good company. There’s an LRH lecture on the Briefing Course that discusses this very point, with LRH saying that he certainly is no angel either and getting caught up in the notion that one will never do anything wrong again because of Scientology is a trap in and of itself.

    I would not defend the rightness of your non-angelic actions but I would defend your right to redemption, exoneration and the right to make things right and so walk once again in the sunshine.

    The sun is shining for you, the water fine, and I thank you for for your love and care for those you may have harmed in the past so eloquently expressed in your efforts to make things right, clearer and bring greater understanding.

    In the end I think that is all we can really ask of one another.

    Thank you for that.

  64. Hi Marty,

    Don’t think we ever met. I’m an old timer. Got in in Hawaii (mission). Was on staff for a brief time, but, the toxic atmosphere was too much. I knew: Bill Franks, Henning Heldt, Yvonne (old CCLA), Mike Goldstein (still friends) and many more. I’m writing a book but I’m not going to name them or use any copyright material. Gary Weber (SO at Flag) is going to put in his two cents. Would you be interested too? I’m also friends with Arnie Lerma. Let me know what you think. Thanks for trying to make a change in the C of M.

  65. Luciano de Crescenzo:
    We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.

    Thanks a lot Marty. We all can fly together…
    No always easy with all those Cops , but “it will all come out all right”, said LRH 🙂

  66. Thanks for the tips. I will use them!

  67. After this kind of post, showing the courage of a “naked being” (is it the correct english term?), a lot of us should become openly independent. I will do it very soon.

  68. David from England

    Kudos to you for such an honest self-appraisal. Of course you’re no angel. No one is. LRH certainly wasn’t. But you’re honest and you’re struggling with where you’ve come from, and people admire those of us who take such a painful journey.

    You may or may not know this, but there are people out here (and I’m one of them) who actually love you, even though we’ve never met. Just based on what you write here, you have shown yourself to be an incredibly brave man and an inspiration to us all.

    DM and his minions are in a private hell of their own making – they too could stand up like you have, and some probably will, but until that time they are always going to be shadowed and oppressed by their total lack of self-reflection. And that’s the big difference. It’s not about what you’ve done. It’s about who you choose to be when you wake up that morning and realise who you are.

  69. Thanks Marty,
    I admire and support you not for your past, but for what you do. You are a good leader.

    “When you have a problem, if you tell the truth, your problem becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.”

    You are free to play a better game today, and you are playing it, earning respect. Thanks.

  70. Could have been worse. Could have been the unknowing target of Loki’s black trickery. Thanks to Odin for the current FPRD tech being applied in the church.

  71. War and Peace

    I hereby make a commitment to purchase 2000 copies of Marty’s forthcoming book which I will have shipped to Congressmen Senators, Key media spokesmen and key libraries.

    Marty ~~~
    Step back for a moment and see how folk like you, Mike, Steve Hall, Jeff, Dan, Marc Headley and all the others who came forward…….see how you have actually put some Ethics in of C of M and created changes already !

    1) Freeloader Bills being cancelled.
    2) Co-erced abortions have ceased in all SO bases.
    3) SP Hall is emptied out
    4) SO Members not being thrown in ponds and swimming pool anymore.
    5) Not to mention the cosmetic cover ups and improvements at INT BASE since St. Pete Times disclosures.

    You have the ethics and humility to admit to some wrong doing, something DM is unable to do EVER.


    I did a huge amount of RTC/CMO I missions.
    29 in all. Some of the missions were to go around to the homes of people who had resigned, were deeply disaffected and so on.
    I spent weeks, and weeks, months of my life doing what the current Missionaires are doing.
    Guess what ? You can persuade and talk til you are blue in the face. The percentage of those who get “talked into returning to the Church” is negligible. And the tiny amount that might return blow again. The missionaire thing DOES not WORK.

    You cannot even count on your fingers how many people were “recovered” to the C of S due to a Missionaire visit or Story.

  72. Redneck Thetan

    He who has no secrets has no lies. I can’t say that you have no lies, but you certainly seem to have many fewer secrets than you had. That’s freeing.

    A lovely Irish blessing for the season:

    May those who love us, love us
    And those who don’t love us,
    May God turn their hearts
    And if he can’t turn their hearts,
    May he turn their ankles
    So we will know them by their limping!

    I think that life has a way of showing the love and the limping to us in the end.

  73. Concerned Citizen


    Well, Marty, I really laughed at this post, because can any one honestly be a saint in this world? It is one of those concepts like perfect. You know? the question becomes, a saint according to whose standards and what yardstick, and well, it is just not achievable.

    May be you can be a saint to some people, like DM is for some insistent on their blindfolds. But a saint saint, that is impossible.

    Sorry old chap, when a very dear person close to me tried to explain your evil, I DID defend you and I will again. Why? not because I think you are a saint, I never held that wild notion.

    I defended you because you are doing the right thing at great personal cost. I had observed things were not as they seemed, I had also searched for answers I could think with and found little, till I heard your facts. The fact that you offered no generalities, and the fact that your accounts like those of your fellow whistle blowers actually answered the mysteries I had encounter, were more than enough for me.

    I differ in opinions with you on some things, but I can understand your thought process and it is very plain that you are as decent a human being as they come.

    OOOOO!! but all the crimes he has committed, how can you say such a thing! Well, when I was in the SO I had the chance to work with and observe you, and because of your decency and your obvious belief in the tech and the real care I experienced, I decided you are a friend. As such, I refuse to hear ill of you, just as I refuse to hear ill of Ron.

    Does that mean I am blind to your shortcomings? does that mean I forget the bad things I saw you do? No it means I can put my self in your shoes and know that I might have done worse in that position. I know that you did things that were wrong, I saw you, but I saw under what circumstances you did them, and I saw how within that frame work, you did try to do things right. I can’t say the same of the 2 other people you were with. Even back then I knew it. It was a crazy time, and I too alas, did terrible things.

    But I believe people can change, I believe I can change, for the better and I know the inherent good in all. So yes I will defend you and your name, but my decisions are mine and though your information enabled me to make them, the decisions are mine and only mine and your information would be meaningless had I not personally observe the things I did observe.

    Thanks for all you have done, are doing and will do.

    oh and as far as your responsibility to the rest of us. I don’t believe you have any more responsibility than anyone else of us, who did not find a 9 feet fence to stop the bully when we might have. We are all in this together mate, the state of our church is as much our fault as it yours. We are the ones that did not observe, did not truly apply KSW. We are the ones that did not say no, till now. But it is not too late so lets build a better world, make lots of clears and OTs, and the devil might care what happens to DM and his fantasy world.

    Just felt I had to say that.

  74. I posted before this LRH reference from ” A model hat for an executive”:
    “A quarter of a century of leadership in this life has taught me that the only
    underprivileged posts there are, are posts of leadership. As one rises on the scale of authority
    his flaws magnify and so does his power to hurt and destroy. It would take an archangel to
    be a perfect executive. Despite the trying nature of an executive post it yet must be
    filled-and filled with understanding, intelligence, helpfulness, courage and compassion.”

    “understanding, intelligence, helpfulness, courage and compassion” are the key words he repeats later in the text. Very important one…

    “Hopefully, everyone will find his own correct level of responsibility and productivity.”

  75. Marty,
    having been to war I have to say from experience that I want the toughest son of a bitch in the world next to me in battle. And this is a war. A war for the rights to spiritual freedom.

    And, don’t malign angels. Some angels were the toughest son of a bitches on the block. Being an angel has very little to do with being nice.

  76. crashing upwards

    Hi Marty. Admitting, AGAIN, your transgressions , is not something you did for yourself. Your not in a lower condition and not doing an o/w write-up. Your doing it so those who would use anything in your past to keep people distracted and blind to the truth are denied some weapons.

    Its a noble post you have written, borne of a desire to keep the independent field growing at the same time exposing yourself to a possible diminished standing in some eyes.

    Fortunately, the class of folks here are so far above needing any leg up on anyone that they choose to keep you raised on their shoulders. Hard to tell who has more class, you or the other posters and bloggers here. Either way, I like the company I keep.

  77. Marty, you are awesome. If it wasn’t for you and the other brave SO members & OT’s that came forward I’d still be drinking the CoolAid. I really owe you big time and in the future I can’t wait to meet you in person to thank you.

  78. Something to keep in mind with the C of M’s campaign against Marty: once a suppressive can convince you that you are a liability he can drive you into doubt about yourself, then turn you into an enemy of yourself and move you into treason (betrayal) of self. So, the smart thing is to not go into believing yourself to be a liability or into doubting yourself just because some asshole thinks you should. Liability and then doubt are earlier on the chain of betrayal/treason.
    So, for all those bent on criticism, bent on proving someone else guilty (liability), bent on making others doubt; it’s just a trick of suppression. Let’s go up tone socially, not down.

  79. Marty
    Thank you for this. I understand why you felt it necessary to say those things. Because you did, brings us all that much closer to the goal; as individuals and as a group who all want the same thing–CofM disbanded and for some of us to see CofS restored based on LRH only and set up to prevent this sort of thing from ever happening to it again.

  80. Marty, fallen angels are still angels. Just because we’re on a prison planet doesn’t mean we have to view ourselves as prisoners.

  81. The LRH description of the characteristics of the AntiSocial Personality describe the gradient scale of “angel” vs “archangel”.

    Personally, I have been a perfect being, in my own opinion, forever, and intend to continue to be so forever! (and if any of you lesser beings don’t like it, you can go frakk yourselves!) 🙂

  82. Uh-oh. What is the sound of one butthole puckering?

    I’ll bet the title of the series was less direct before the church spent months trying to tie CNN in knots with their complaints.

    This should be good.

  83. Theo Sismanides

    Marty, without being harsh let’s not forget. Not forget in order not to make the same mistakes.

    The fact that you are coming more and more in the open, exposing yourself to many dangers is a sign of higher responsibility and it’s also understood by everybody. But it has consequences and sometimes a person who gets a big weight and under pressure might become individuated and make mistakes.

    I am not here to judge you but I am here as a peer to peer now.

    So I want to express myself.

    I see LRH-legacy has some points in his comment here. You know I may be one of those badly affected SO members when for 15 years now I have been trying to keep my wits together after I had a direct confrontation with Int Mgmt on what was LRH and what was not LRH on the subject of translations. Pretty stupid and very treasonous, very… disappoining (?) is just a word, cannot be described, really, how I felt.

    I don’t even know if you were aware of the facts about translations and what was happening around the year 1998-9? But I am sure you were aware of many other things which were non Standard.

    My point is not to get into shame blame and regret, not to get you introverted or accused, my point is that NOW this is the Present and we are now all wiser. At least we are free to talk and free to listen if we want.

    I know you take higher responsibility just by keeping this blog and your communication lines open and probably devoting many many hours each day on this activity as well as others having to do with KSW. And you have done a lot of good. More than anybody the last 10 years that I am out.

    I also don’t think that you were the only one supporting DM, there were many more.

    My point is though that by you doing what you are doing now, and you know best why you are doing it, you are creating some effects. Bigger effects. And there are consequences.

    We are no sheep here anymore of anyone’s shepherd, we are wolves fighting a fight as a pack.

    Wolves need blood to survive, a game, a leader maybe or two. Sometimes they hunt alone, sometimes in packs.

    We have been hunting alone, Marty, for many years. Nobody was able to gather us back together in one pack again. Just because once in the old pack we were betrayed and one by one gone or expelled by The Enemy. But we know what we are after. We know how to hunt, we know how to survive even without the old pack.

    We like to settle down and discuss our hunting games and our wins (socializing) and we have been doing that even before you came but we also like hunting and mostly winning in this game.

    We like a Game!

    We have one now, you have given us back a Game (I have to admit that) which kind of was taken from us when we were in the old game where you used to be one of the leaders (you have to admit that, too). And we like to fight.

    And you know once, yes this is right, you were with those who were shooting the wolves and many of us got wounded and killed and maimed. One of them speaking now.

    But then you came along (obviously because you couldn’t stand it anymore) and said listen wolves, I am no more with those who are killing you, I am one of you, a Wolf myself and here’s my true story. And started mocking up the New Game. And we saw that, some ignorant of your past, some knowing a lot but not really caring, some with a dubious eye, but you… it was known, you were a top guy and that impressed us, not for no reason, and we accepted it. And we also saw that you were mocking up a good hunting game for us, because before most leaders, except a very few, failed to have great impact and they were just not offering the bigger game, the blood we wanted.

    So we all gathered here and listened to the new leader but we knew he was not our Old One, the one who founded the Game really. But you were and alright and you made more sense than a lot of others. You had impact, with the St. Ptsg Times and with this blog and the Declarations of Independence of other “wolves” who decided to move from the herd of sheep and join the pack, so you made a difference. You tried to, you changed, it’s was not just PR or your fame from before. You did things.

    And it doesn’t mean that you didn’t make mistakes, your biggest one was to be next to the killer of wolves but that’s the past, we are over that now. That’s said.

    The point is how do we now not repeat the same mistakes and how do we get the New Game going. Blood is ok for wolves, we can have that, especially when it’s the enemy’s.

    So, done with the wolves and the blood stories. Trying to say one thing.

    We all need to be effective and truthful and forget the past. You also should do that.

    No, Marty, you are not an angel and thanks for clarifying. But you are strong in the New Game and there is the enemies of Scientology. And you might want to consider that we may need to know what is going on and not be treated as sheep. I admire you for what you did today. You took some bullets even from us but you can stand that. How do we move on, is the question? How do we make a GROUP effort to get something DECENT out to Scientologists and make a DECLARATION and an OFFICIAL DECLARATION better be, and say ALL of our POINTS about KSW.

    And it better be official and have some weight. The Old Master was instrumental in those things. Boy, could he put emphasis and weight on the things he wanted.

    So, opening up your past and exposing yourself to dangers is one brave thing, but getting the PACK down to Victory is the real thing, while protecting yourself, the members of the pack and the pack itself.

    We are here to help, we are not here to be “shepherd-ed” or anything. Not that this is your intention but sometimes things tend to be forgotten and move to a wrong direction. And we are wiser now and we can observe better and speak our minds more freely.

    Yes, we can help more, Yes, we want to know what is going on, yes, we don’t have OSA anymore, or not everything IS confidential, Yes, we have questions, and Yes, you and us have made mistakes, and let’s not repeat them.

    So, you need to address those issues and we want to help to get the show on the road. Treat us this way, you don’t need defense, you are right, you need open communication though, you need to inform your teammates. That’s a must in the game. The day’s of that old church are gone, you are among teammates but… hey, we are kind of special and peculiar here, sorry!

    We like Game! And we like to Help! Sorry! Can you carry that Responsibility? Do you need special help? Just let us know! Aren’t we friends here? Should we feel otherwise?

    OK, enough said. Thanks

  84. Maxim Zbitnoff

    In 1994 while I was on Level 3 at CC Portland I had some time on my hands and felt this urge so I decided to go to the the library and look at the not-approved-for-members books on Scientology. I read almost non-stop Russell Miller’s Bare Faced Messiah. It blew my mind. Here was a man who along with his brilliance had the same human foibles as the rest of us. My affinity soared. No longer a man on a pedestal larger than life. He was like me in a lot of ways…. he was real people.

    Love it when people let go of pretense and go candid about themselves. We are not really our stories anyway.


  85. martyrathbun09

    Wow Mary Jo. Thanks. It is beautiful.

  86. martyrathbun09

    Thanks for this. One of my all time favorites. Anyone who hasn’t listened to it, please do so. “emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds.”

  87. I think many are staying within the creation of the COM because they desire to make things go right.
    Especially if one if fully aware that things have gone sideways it’s all the more reason (in the absence of a proper handle) to sweep that under the rug and try to carry forward to a new and better day.
    Out of desperation who wouldn’t try to outcreate the mounting problems?

    I still greatly admire and appreciate those who are hanging on, on the inside, although I doubt many of them would even speak to me.

  88. Marty,

    Well, you might not be an angel, but obviously I am – as I’m sure you will agree. 😉

    I’ve never thought of defending you. Mainly because it is pretty obvious that you are perfectly capable of defending yourself – should you choose to do so. And, it’s clear that you don’t feel the need to do. This indicates a lot of confidence in one’s position, something that ‘Lucifer’ (aka DM) cannot afford himself.

    I have brought up some of the things that you said, in conversations with Scientologists (George Baillie was one), and I’ve given others my perspective on what I think that you are trying to achieve and also my personal impressions after having taken the trouble to actually meet you. I’ve been called an apologist for doing so, but that’s fine – I’ve got a thick skin. We might not see eye-to-eye on everything, but I support your efforts in exposing the truth and getting something constructive done about the situation.

    The abuses need to be stopped and you are getting results, so please carry on not being an angel.


  89. “have no fear for atomic energy ’cause none of tha.. can stop the time”

    Johnny Cash and now Bob Marley, This song I love too….so much.

  90. martyrathbun09

    Fishdaddy, thanks for reminding me. I’ve got to complete a post based on yours on Religious Extremism at Leaving Scientology. Highly recommend looking up that post peeps.

  91. martyrathbun09

    Natalie, I am remiss in not having mentioned your handling of those SO missionaires. You’ve made the point beautifully though. If you keep your eye on the ball, and demand your own issues and questions get answered, you’ll see them for what they are.

  92. Fellow Traveller

    Sam — I’d like a different viewpoint here, if you don’t mind.

    Since Marty’s no angel, would you or could you consider him a handsome devil?

  93. martyrathbun09

    Ax, you’ve got broad shoulders too my man.

  94. “In fact I was reading some promo set to me the other day from ASHO formerly the “Home of the Saint Hill Special Briefing Course” now “The Home of the Basics”.”

    I’ve got to go take a walk. That’s needs to be published. I don’t even know if I can believe that. The madman doesn’t care at all, zero ethics change.

  95. LRH-Legacy,
    Ok, I’ll pipe up here on this. Aside from being gone over exhaustively on various sites, chats and such, yes, DM is a ‘Who’, not a ‘Why’.

    The ‘Why’ you give is not a Why. It is an outpoint. DS 11 is omitted, and that’s the very first step to get going on a Data Trail to the Why.

    If you are enthused about doing this, check out what Ralph Hilton posted here some time ago, and on the Pro LRH Tech site even longer ago on the Reversed Introspection RD as applied to the group by DM. That is one Sit. There are Multiple Sits, the area of tech application as addressed on friendsoflrh.com is another.

    I understand your point. It’s well-taken, and nobody here who has had any experience with the Data Series and done any evals is mistaking a Who for a Why.

  96. When someone like Tiger Woods goes off the rails
    and the shit hits the fan, he mans up, goes for help, apologizes publicly, confronts the media, confronts those he has harmed and he gets back on the road to an honest life. He doesn’t hide, pay real men to protect him and send women and pretty boys to run around claiming his innocence. Only an idiot would do that because
    that stategy has no possibility of working and it would only make things worse as it would prove the person was a COWARD and INCAPABLE of CHANGE.
    In addition to all the other out points Miscavige is having his minions spread the word that it was his direct juniors doing all the damage over a period of years and not him. Even if true how the hell would that be a justification?!??? An officer is responsible for the actions of those below him.

    When my wife was the CO CMO IXU and someone down the command channel (without her knowledge) spoke at an ASHO event in EUS when he was from CLO WUS, DM personally removed Amy from post, seperated her from her husband, put her on hard labor under 24 hour security watch for 2 months.

    When Don Jason was the Chief Officer FSO (with 400 juniors) and a public went out ethics after returning to L.A. (after receiving auditing) an RTC staff member walked in Don’s office and assigned him a lower condition.

    The bottom line is David Miscavige has taken the cowards route and has sealed his own fate. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such a yellow bellied pathetic sight in my life. Its really hard to stomach. Gawwdd!

  97. martyrathbun09

    Mat, I love it when you talk like a beer commercial.

  98. Theo Sismanides

    LO, quite right. The bullies. That’s right. You know CO CLO EU, Walter Kotric, a real bully, got me off post as TU DIR EU in 1999 when he told me to read COB and I replied to him “read LRH”.

    That exact communication went back and forth 2 or 3 times, him saying “read COB” and me saying “read LRH” (on the matter of translations HCOBs) and at the end since I saw this was leading nowhere and the guy didn’t even know who he was working for (condition below Confusion: Find out who you are working for), I dediced to give it an end by telling him “Read LRH and I will CHECK YOU OUT!!!”

    And he grabbed me by the sleeve, with that staring mad look in his eyes (I wondered where this comes from, his wife D/CO I CLO EU, Zara Kotric also had that look), and routed me to Ethics.

    Oh, I thought, what a CO!! Pfffff, what a degraded being he was to stand in the middle of this planet and the Legacy of LRH. Just mere force is what they understand and what they can appreciate. A thick head he is! I attest to that. Being there because he is a robot, just following orders! Not smart, not even loyal to LRH.

  99. Theo Sismanides

    Right on, OnceUponaTime!!

    I have turned into a Wolf now, used to be a Saint, but doesn’t cover me for the last 30 years of my life.

    But your observation is absolutely correct. An Angel is holding the pigeon on one hand and the sword in the other.

    The Free Being, 50% Intelligence, 50% Force.

    I think we all have enough Intelligence here, I think we need to show up a bit on Force.

  100. Great call Lucy!!

  101. My 75 year old mother just keeps asking, where is Dm and why is he not holding briefings and personally assuring us? She keeps asking why is he not in the trenches at the local orgs, admitting that things are not good, but that we can use LRH tech and patch things back up again, together as a group? She wants to know why is Heber not out making his rounds, using his theta to calm people down in the field? She lived through the 80’s with all the shake up’s but this time she says it is different. I wonder why!!!

  102. Freedom Fighter

    Thank you for telling us this, Marty. We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t in an attempt to solve some problem. The BIG difference, however, between you and someone like DM is that you’re taking responsibility for your actions. This is both honorable and commendable.

    One of the coolest things I’ve experienced in Scientology was the statement read to me by my Auditor at the end of Grade II. I won’t mention it here in case anyone reading this hasn’t done that Grade yet, but I think you know the one I’m talking about. It’s what I felt like saying to you after reading this post.

    As for angels, bah! I don’t run with angels. They bore the hell out of me! 🙂

  103. martyrathbun09

    Theo, Walter got it from DM. He dreaded winning the birthday game because he would have to go to Flag and be humiliated, hazed and harrassed by DM for days – and sometimes weeks because DM would order him to Int for more “briefings.” Imagine that, he dreaded nothing more than winning the birthday game. And observers say each year he’d come back from his DM visits like a wild eyed mad man. After a few months of desitimulating, he’d more let people get on with it, the stats would rise, then the terror would come in again about winning the birthday game and having to go for another DM implant. Walter is basically good; and when not under the hammer was actually a pretty decent fellow.

  104. I , sitting on my pink cloud do hereby forgive you for not being a truly perfect being such as myself.

    I forgive you and understand that in your own mortal way you were doing your best. I on the otherhand have to bear the cross of dealing with all the poor pathetic beings of this planet.

    But seriously Marty…I respect any man or woman who can admit thier mistakes and then work to get better. That is what I have been doing for years and I have a lot to still do. Just ask my wife!! Ho!

    I respect you for what you are doing to reform the church. As a wise man once said; ” Don’t regret yesterday. Life is in you today and you make your tomorrow.” ~~ LRH
    ( I know you know this!!)

    Your friend,

  105. In hindsight? – If your negative actions during your tenure sent members to the door of real freedom, you are to be commended (in an unexpected manner).

    Positive actions towards others have no consequences.

  106. Marty;

    You are so correct when your write, “…apply the Code of Honor and LRH’s definition of Personal Integrity. If you do so for real, I guarantee you’ll be in fat city (in a spiritual sense) from here on out.

    I am very proud to call you my friend and I want you to know I have your back.

    Marty, I am a warriors warrior and I so much want to crush DM with my hands.

    Damn it!!! I’ve had to much great auditing and have read and applied too much LRH to know I have to put my hands in my pockets and figure out a more civilized way to take down this little creep. Not easy for an Irishman in his late 60’s

    Sleep well for you have many friends waiting to jump into action.

  107. High Eagle:

    “In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person’s vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone’s heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.”

  108. Marty,

    My father was a well educated man from the rough side of the tracks and had many sayings. These could be meant for humour and/or to teach me something. He enjoyed firing one off at me every opportunity that presented itself. (his language was colourful)

    He told me three that keep me straight:
    1. Anyone who thinks that every one is a son of a bitch but him is nuts.
    2. Don’t do anything you are worried someone else will find out about.
    3. Ideas can be perfect but people usually screw them up. Including me.

    I heard them a lot because I was no angel. But they have kept me from going over the deep end. I am always willing to pass them on.

    So I am always willing to be considered an SOB and I know that I screw up regularly and probably will screw up many more times.

    That’s okay. It’s part of being honest with yourself.

    It is okay with me if you are a real person who can admit his foibles. At least it shows you aren’t nuts.

  109. martyrathbun09

    Jimmy, thanks for passing on the sage advice.

  110. martyrathbun09

    Jack, you are appreciated a whole lot.

  111. martyrathbun09

    Freedom Fighter, I know the statement. Never saw it fail to bring tears to a pc’s eyes. It is perhaps the most powerful statement one can make to another.

  112. I can further, personally, verify that Marty was extensively at flag during these times, as, amongst other things, he and other church terminals were involved in breaking me and destroying my relationships during this time. I can verify that Marty was no angel, far from it. Yes, he may have been acting with conviction along a perverted belief that it was for the greatest good, but it was a brutal position for myself and others on the receiving end. Many of us were broken.

    Last year, before going public, Marty did get into communication with me, I may have been one of the first he did so with. We spoke for days, he apologized, did what he could to make things right with me, he never defended, he never minimized or passed blame. It was difficult for him, I was not necessarily gentle. Yeah, his TRs went out. Yes, it upset him … realizing the consequences of what he had done. But he stayed true.

    I have wanted to say that Marty is not the same man he was when in RTC. That statement is both completely true and completely false. He is the same person, with strengths and weaknesses. In RTC Marty could be and was often brutal, but following the brutality there was quiet compassion that would often come in … he wouldn’t go as far as he could. He would follow up, perhaps with a call. He believed what he was doing was for the good, and wanted to believe something good came from it.

    Today Marty is every bit the warrior he was then, actually more formidable. His power, strength and drive comes from that compassion and love that was always part of him, and exploited by the insane miscavage church culture.

    Marty is my friend, one of my best friends. Rarely has a friendship been tested with more fire than ours.

    There are a number of warrior friends, the numbers, identities, strengths, locations, skills and wealth of whom will never be broadly known. Many do not even know of each other. Many post here. Many visit Scientology Churches weekly. We want nor expect acknowledgement or accolades, we are doing what is right, sometimes making up for our past misdeeds, we want to make the world a better place for our fellows.

    We are not led by Marty or anyone else, we are lead by our conscience, our desire to not only survive, but improve the survival of others.
    Marty may be the most public of us, he asks for little and has more available than he could imagine. He feels he needs to be public at this time, and we respect and honor that.

    As his friend, I know Marty doesn’t want to be a celebrated hero, or leader of a new movement, or to take over the church. Marty wants peace for himself and others. He wants to stop the tyrannical thug, who he helped empower, from hurting others.

    All of his friends stand by him. All of his friends will ensure his efforts succeed. All of his friends dream of the day Marty can retire from the public spotlight, fish, sit by the fire at night, drinking a beer and telling tales of our old battles.

    If there is something to be learned from this, it is that we must not use Marty for our strength, personally or dealing with others. We must gain our strength from our own integrity, intelligence and passion … from what we see and observe, in defense and protection of those close to us that are being harmed.

    With this, the power of this movement will be amplified 1,000 fold.

  113. Marty,
    what do you mean, you are not an angel?! Don’t you dare! We’ll send Mosey after you!!
    Thank you, thank YOU.
    ML, Fidelio

  114. martyrathbun09

    Comrade, I’m not sure I agree with all your evaluations, but I agree with your advice. Your viewpoints though sorta conjured up these lines from Dylan’s Hurricane:
    Rubin could take a man out with just one punch
    But he never did like to talk about it all that much
    It’s my work he’d say and I do it for pay
    And when it’s over I’d just as soon go on my way
    Up to some paradise
    Where the trout streams flow and the air is nice
    And ride a horse along a trail
    But then they took him to the jailhouse
    Where they try to turn a man into a mouse.

  115. “just a soul whose intentions are good”

  116. Joe – I don’t post a lot but that just made my day. Finding out that CNN was finally coming through was good enough, but man, conjuring up “the sound of one butthole puckering” — that shot it over the top. You always had such a way with words.

    (Remember that “base” campaign we worked on with all the really insulting cartoons and posters – like Gold staff gleefully flushing money down the toilet? The nastier they were the more he liked them. I feel kinda bad about that now, but it was a fun little diversion for a while. So yeah, me no angel neither.)

    So I too can attest that DM was on the base very often, at least up until the beginning of 2002.

  117. Marty,
    A personal note, and to let you know withal that goes on in the arena, when we sit back and chug a cold one, I look at your smiling face, the strong set of jaw, the courage, the cajones to say what you’ve said here and I think, this is good. This will help fill in that beard and one day may you be as hirsute as myself, hair on your fingernails, between your toes, up, down and around your body, but alas, not the head.

    You got testosterone. You be a man, my son. You among many here, have come through that baptism of fire. Many thanks for you.


  118. I’ll second that, Cat Daddy. IMO the insurance companies have gone completely off purpose – instead of “the healthy many” their product has become “the wealthy few”. You think maybe the C of M should take notice of that since they’re doing the same damn thing?

  119. When I met Marty I made the comment that our philosophy included redemption and second chances. He acked that . 🙂

    Don’t agree with all his viewpoints.

    He don’t seem to like the Freezone!

    He is part of that whether he likes it or not.

    They are mostly standard techies and trained
    moons ago prior to GAT, and are often trained under LRH.

    Most of those trained under LRH are in the FZ or doing nothing.

    Love what he is doing. 🙂

  120. Amazing Grace Lyrics – John Newton (1725-1807) although this song has undergone various versions over time, it is nevertheless appropriate.

    “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
    That saved a wretch Like me.
    I once was lost but now am found,
    Was blind, but now I see.
    T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
    And Grace, my fears relieved.
    How precious did the Grace appear
    The hour I first believed.
    My chains are gone
    I’ve been set free”….

    Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
    And mortal life shall cease,
    I shall possess within the veil,
    A life of joy and peace.
    Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
    That saved a wretch like me.
    I once was lost but now am found,
    Was blind, but now I see.”

    Whatever your take on the 8th dynamic aspect of it – it points to a higher spiritual level of love and forgiveness and is truly a beautiful song about a slave trader who realized his participation in the slave trade as his wretechedness. Marty, even though you participated in some of the most vulgar treatment of good hearted souls, what you are doing now is Amazing Grace. DM and his OSA bots have no idea and ignore the suffering DM has caused and bounces over their heads in their robotic march of “clearing the planet” and forgotten are the humanity and compassion that LRH wrote about in “What is Greatness.” So thank you Marty for admitting and taking responsibility in your actions in these horrible human rights violations. I forgive that but never forgive DM as long as he continues to lie and cover up his actions, but when he does I have it my soul to forgive just as LRH would but am afraid his soul will rot in hell before that happens as he being a true SP.

  121. You relentless one man PR campaign you

  122. It IS a most powerful statement. Every time I watched the Confessional TRs film I cried at the end when the auditor says that. Why? I was in for almost 23 years and not once did an auditor say that to me. Ever. Since I was at the Int base 18 of those years, I had my fair share of confessionals. That’s how far off the rails it’s gone. Twenty-three years is a long time, people!

  123. WH,

    Lots of sooth
    And sage advise.

    So — Thank you
    For duplicating my views
    And sharing yours too!

    What a thrill
    To be able to be there
    And communicate at will.

  124. Waitaminute!


    I put in my fricking g.o.d application last week and still waiting for a reply!!!!

    Had to get in line with this slobering retard who claimed he was the COB of some Church.

    I considered I had no competition till you came along!!!!

    You’ll have to get in line with the rest of us.


  125. “Cat Daddy // March 24, 2010 at 1:55 am | Reply

    You relentless one man PR campaign you”

    I suspect you are referring to me.

    Yes I’m persistent and relentless re promoting
    Scn. Div 6 rather than PR mostly.

    Its not enough. The world HATES COS
    and by association scn.

    I promote in diverse places and some not
    related to S cn. There I receive extreme attacks.

    IMO the attacks on the FZ, particularly the
    item Marty posted on attacking the CIS [ Russian] needs to be put onto mass media.

    COS are religious bigots!

    The greatest untold story to date.

    Its important to distinguish COS with the
    tech of Scn.

  126. Well just got home tonight and had some reading to do!

    This song sounds appropriate:

    Ditto to all that has been said here Marty.

    I got your back buddy!

  127. Theo,

    Thanks for all your thoughts and realities, all the time you put into putting this together.

    We need to bring the Hubbard Association of Scientologists International (HASI) back to life again, in my view.

    That was an LRH create and the fact that “dear leader” had to invent something new, back in 84 always made my suspicious. Why note just reactivate the old HASI and create IAS?

    Well — HASI is still there waiting to be created again.

  128. I just listened to Doctor Robert Thurman’s talks on the Tibetan Book of the Dead called “Liberation Upon Hearing in the Between.” (It’s on iTunes and a lot of fun. But I swear the guy sounds like a muppet).

    Anyway, one part of Buddhist mythology I love is that all beings will attain nirvana – even DM. And when he attains nirvana, it will be no big deal and he’ll realize that he was always in nirvana even while managing the installment of razor wire.

    Hitler. George Orwell. Oswald. Mother Theresa. My Maid. LRH, Rush Limbaugh. George Bush, and yes, even Marty.

    Angels? No. But Buddhas all if our bald friends are right.

    But first, we must conquer ignorance. And ignorance isn’t “not knowing,” it’s “knowing” what is not real.

    Tricky that ignorance stuff …

  129. There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance take,
    A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.

    A planet of playthings,
    We dance on the strings
    Of powers we cannot perceive
    “The stars aren’t aligned,
    Or the gods are malign…”
    Blame is better to give than receive.

    You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
    You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
    I will choose a path that’s clear
    I will choose freewill.

    There are those who think that they were dealt a losing hand,
    The cards were stacked against them; they weren’t born in Lotusland.

    All preordained
    A prisoner in chains
    A victim of venomous fate.
    Kicked in the face,
    You can’t pray for a place
    In heaven’s unearthly estate.

    Each of us
    A cell of awareness
    Imperfect and incomplete.
    Genetic blends
    With uncertain ends
    On a fortune hunt that’s far too fleet.

    RUSH (the band)

  130. Shelly, I can hear your laugh now! Wish we could share it with KJ. Hi, to everyone up there.

  131. Handling that WHO would create such changes that you wouldn’t recognize the church in it’s current evil incarnation.

  132. Oh, yeah. Well, as long as we’re at it, here’s another Marley tune that has implications, though more for DM than the rest of us. Possibly the greatest reggae song ever, IMO.

  133. Watching Eye

    Marty, I read your entire post. I haven’t had time to read all the responses so I may be writing what’s already been said.

    My only comment is that DM’s reason for what he’s doing in regards to you is to DIVERT attention off of him. I guess it’s worked in the past. It doesn’t work any longer.

    note to DM: Keep it up. It only makes you look psychotic. We’re on to you. We know who you really are. Now, go away.

  134. TheEmperorIsNaked

    I will defend Marty on that comment. It seems as if you are generalizing a personal experience here. You target Marty too much here in my opinion.

    For me, reading the 1982 mission holders conference transcript was very revealing (and disappointing). I did not see Marty’s name on that but I saw a lot of others, not just DM. And they all sounded pretty darn suppressive. It did not sound like Scn’s at all. It was like the Gestapo had descended on Scn. Just reading that I felt – there goes dissem. I lost most respect I had for ANY of the management presenters. They seemed to revel in the power and smack-down of it – not just DM bots but real enforcers enjoying the power.

    This one of the biggest concerns I have about the whole scene and the odds of any recovery. How could people allegedly working towards freedom and theta have behaved so? And so early on.

    Any correction will have to address making sure that can never happen again – assuming that kind of create and dissemination will come about again.

  135. TheEmperorIsNaked

    Where are you at? Let’s get an auditor with some TR’s and get the cycle of action completed!

  136. Yes.
    This IS what I was considering to say. “There is no way you were an angel in the position you were in.”

    This describes it all.

    It acknowledges a lot.

  137. “People who will listen to you just don’t care
    about those crimes at this point.

    Because after all, who among us is not in need of a little redemption?”

    Yes… Only a mad man could think he has not done anything bad in his whole life.

  138. Simple. And A to B.

    That´s the way it is.

  139. Marty,

    Since we all have overts, one of the basic distinctions is between those who own up to theirs and those who don’t. You’ve made it abundantly clear which of those classes you’re in.

    DM has never owned up to his overts (colassal as they are). Anyone who knows much about Scn should be able to easily see that he’s a no-responsibility case.

    Of coures, DM, while dramatizing his complete inability ever to own up to anything, has tried to drive in your anchor points and to destroy your reputation by making you guilty of your overts, both real ones that you’ve admitted and ones of his own invention. It should be clear to all who have grabbed back the right to think and to look for themselves, where that puts DM on the tone scale and on the scale of sanity. And, by comparison, where you are on those scales.

    You’ve taken responsibility for your own actions. The only argument I have with what you said above is with this: “I subscribe to LRH’s view that ANYONE can trim his or her sheets (sails) and live a productive life. That is what I am trying to do now.”

    Don’t undersell yourself. You are not only *trying* to do that, you *are* doing that and have been doing that. Whatever condition you were in when you left the SO, I think that, according to us, you’re in a high condition now. You’re contibuting tremedously every day to reforming the third dynamic and, by extension, the fourth dynamic as well.

    Thanks for the further elaboration. Most of us here know exactly what the scene is, who DM is, and who you are. But this will be especially useful for those just starting on the journey of third-dynamic confront.

  140. Virgil Samms

    You know, I just have to say one more thing here: I was in the Armyand I used to natter with just about everyone else in the Army about the Army. We nattered about the food, the conditions, the officers, the food, the low pay, the sargents, the food and the long hours.

    You know what the Army thinks of all of that natter? They think it is good for the men to vent and get it out their system.
    You see the Army thinks it is healthy to bitch. The officers actually wantto hear the bitching so they can somehow get on top of what the complaints are.

    But that is America and “freedom”. Freedom to bitch is our inherent right. If we do not like something we should be able to point it out and ask for change. Right?

    Well not in the C of M. No sir. Marty just rolled out of the Sea Org, got his act together and pointed out that: “Hey, beating the crap out of other staff is not good and is off policy.” Now we all have to watch out for Marty because he is bad.

    This is so stupid it is pathetic.

    Well, guess what OSA, we’re not done bitching yet. So leave us alone to bitch to one another. And guess what? We are free to leave the Sea Org and bitch if we want to without all of this “intervention”. If your management were so good and if DM were soooo good, then the bitching should just roll off of him like water off of a duck.

    Oh the madness of it all.

  141. Same history here with the OSA mission on me.

    DM a angel with wings and Marty a Scum.

    Standard procedure.

  142. Rory Medford

    Marty you are the bomb. You have earned your wings in my eyes, keep up the good work and keep sharing your experiences, it helps a ton! Angel or not I like your halo, it is glowing from here to Kingdom Come for all to see, especially DM.

  143. Marty,

    I had given up on my hopes and dreams some years ago. Many years ago. It was a complete rehab to find you and your site and some of the others, like scientology-cult and Geir’s forum.

    What I feel here is how you work so hard to not succumb to the invitation to hate – and often succeed! Bravo!

    You have brought me a peace I thought I would not feel again, and a restoration of my purpose.

    You are able to turn around and face – yourself. Is there anything more difficult? Bravo!

    Last night I read something that shed a new light for me on DM and what has happened within the CoS.

    It is like something from StarWars – about the seductive power of the dark side of Intention and “unreasonableness”. I’d like to post it here as an “eye-opener”. It is part of the “Dane Tops” letter apparently written in 1982:

    “The AESTHETIC FEELING of Tone 40 “unreasonableness” is the clue to the beingness that has taken over the management and it is this beingness that management is now attempting to create in others. As there is such a great aestheticness to the feeling of total Tone 40 unreasonableness, it becomes almost impossible to see the effect of this beingness once one is viewing life through it. This is the
    mechanism through which heinous acts may be committed by good beings. Because the being is attached to the aesthetic he goes along with
    the rest of what went with that aesthetic and is actually blind to the actual consequences of his actions. The end can also justify the
    means when one has a great enough aesthetic attached.

    Thus such a thing can actually occur where persons in rousing agreement with the “aesthetic” of KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING at all COSTS
    then take part in purifying Scientology. They buy the idea that time is scarce, there is great danger, there isn’t time for routine justice actions. They buy the idea that they can afford to make mistakes and fix them later. The group aesthetic of “purifying” becomes moblike and the momentum of the group carries it forward. Only when there is no one left to remove, when too many posts become unmanned or improperly manned, when stats crash, does the ” aesthetic” lift enough to start to see that some really pretty heavy disaster has taken place.

    When one has become the effect of such an aesthetic beingness, he is likely to believe he has “seen the light” and all others who do not
    share the beingness become the unenlightened. As far as duplication, the beingness acts as a set of blinders on a horse. One cannot actually duplicate anyone who doesn’t share the beingness because the beingness is an additive to the comm formula. In Scientology the
    “purify the tech” BEINGNESS that is being instilled is having the effect of separating and individuating people from all those who don’t
    have the same beingness, WHETHER THE OTHERS ARE DELIVERING STANDARD TECH OR NOT. This arbitrary beingness that is being mocked up and demanded is one of the biggest additives in Scientology, and it is lowering duplication.”

    This explains to me the now routine stories I read about the total lack of ARC within the CoS on the part of those who ought to have the most ARC, like the Ethics people, MAAs etc, as well as the auditors and managers.

    I wonder – will we eventually see DM propitiating?

  144. Great sentiment, Sam. I love the idea of a group whose members will snarlingly defend each other, whether handsome devils, beautiful pit bulls, devilish angels, or all manner of other devilish or angelic critters. 🙂

  145. martyrathbun09

    Valkov, thank you. To assign “Tone 40” as cause or even use it as a description of DM’s activitiy demonstrates Dane was either a great propagandist himself or didn’t grok Scientology.

  146. You’re just an angel disguised as someone that’s not.

  147. Cathy wrote of Marty: “You’re just an angel disguised as someone that’s not.”

    Yay! 🙂

  148. FreeAndClearNow

    Marty is a great man with integrity and who has made it possible for the Church to actually reform.

  149. Hey Marty

    Well done on reaffirming your culpability.

    Your dismissive “Little Lord Fautelroy” (sic) comment shows that you have a ways to go, though. Your admissions go waay beyond not being a “Little Lord Fautelroy”.

    Better you had said that you “never claimed to be a decent human being and a true Scientologist in the first place”. At least during that period.

    If, to paraphrase LRH, “you were looking for hell and found INT base (or the Sea Org)”, you were one of those ensuring that “it would certainly serve”. Apparently number 2 behind, according to you and others, DM himself.

    Most of your friends here seem to be willing to give you a full pass. Well, if that is what is required to be your friend then I’m afraid I don’t make the grade.

    LRH had a lot to say about the tendency of good people to not want to confront evil. Your actions were evil in the extreme. Destroying cases and chewing up Sea Org staff is evil. It is evil if DM does it now and it is evil if you did it then.

    So right now, I have no pass for you. I do acknowledge your efforts and have hope that when this is all said and done, I will be happy to “sign your liability formula”. Until then, please carry on as a lightning rod for discussion and dissent. Apply the best of what you know of Scientology to the best of your ability. But please don’t set your sights on any position of executive authority in a reimagined Church of Scientology. You have not, in my eyes, earned that level of forgiveness.

    Much Love and God bless.

  150. martyrathbun09

    Disinfected, I don’t need nor want your signature. Good luck.

  151. And there you have it.

  152. Freedom Fighter

    I don’t have a tech dictionary to hand, so do look this up if you have one, but IMO, there is a systemic MU on the word “natter”. Random, carping criticism is different from spotting an outpoint and bringing it to someone’s attention in an attempt to handle a situation. Perhaps it’s better to do the latter in CSW (completed staff work) form, is some cases, but that’s not always possible. The latter, however, often gets confused with natter, but it’s not.

  153. Yes Terril I ment you and I ment it in good fun. I saw your Interview with ZeroC.

    Oh congrats on the T-shirts and their origins.

    As long as man is curious many views on the world will exist.

    We have got another 4 billion years on this planet before it blows up lets work towards it being a good tinme for all whatever path he or she chooses.

    After the COS blows up space is created for other new things to florish.

    Keep what works get rid of what hold you back.

    With regards CD

  154. Diagnostic Features:

    Antisocial Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by persistent disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood. Deceit and manipulation are central features of this disorder. For this diagnosis to be given, the individual must be at least 18, and must have had some symptoms of Conduct Disorder (i.e., delinquency) before age 15. This disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling or distressing.

    Diagnostic Criteria:

    Three or more of the following are required:

    Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
    Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
    Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
    Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
    Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
    Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
    Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
    Since these antisocial behaviors are commonly observed in children and adolescents, this disorder is only diagnosed if these antisocial behaviors persist into adulthood (i.e., if age is 18 or older). The diagnosis of Antisocial Personality requires that there was evidence of delinquency (Conduct Disorder) with onset before age 15 years. This is in contrast to the (non-DSM-IV) diagnosis of being a psychopath which does not require a prior diagnosis of Conduct Disorder. The diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder is not made if the occurrence of antisocial behavior occurs exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.


    Individuals with this disorder have an increased risk of dying prematurely by violent means (e.g., suicide, accidents, and homicide). Prolonged unemployment, interrupted education, broken marriages, irresponsible parenting, homelessness, and frequent incarceration are common with this disorder.


    Anxiety Disorders, Depressive Disorders, Substance-Related Disorders, Somatization Disorder, Pathological Gambling (and other impulse control disorders), and other Personality Disorders (especially Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic) frequently co-occur with this disorder.

    Associated Laboratory Findings:

    No laboratory test has been found to be diagnostic of this disorder.


    The prevalence of Antisocial Personality Disorder in the general population is about 3% in males and 1% in females. It is seen in 3% to 30% of psychiatric outpatients.


    The course of this disorder is chronic. This disorder is usually worse in young adulthood and often improves in middle age.

    Familial Pattern:

    This disorder is more common among first-degree biological relatives of those with the disorder than in the general population. There is also an increased familial risk for Substance-Related Disorders and Somatization Disorder.

  155. Marty,

    It made sense to me because I heard DM brag about his own”unreasonableness”, getting a lot of applause for it. He seemed to be extremely proud of his unlimited unreasonableness.

    It may not be “Tone 40” as you mean it oras LRH intended it to beunderstood, but isn’t it a dramatization of it?

    I am not technically trained, but DM’s relentless pursuit of blindly having his own way seems to reflect the idea somehow.

    Any light you can shed on a better, more accurate way of understanding DM vis-a-vis what Dane Tops wrote would be appreciated.

  156. I read an interesting history of the Vietnam War, written by an officer who served under Westmoreland in MACV.

    He noted that one of the NVA’s winning strategies was that the lowest soldiers were able to offer criticism of their officer’s tactics if they considered them in error. In fact this was encouraged by General Giap.

    In the Austrian Army before latter part of the twentieth century. An officer was considered derelict in his duty if he didn’t disobey a command that he considered violated the rules of Warfare or were in any way destructive.

    Even in Hitler’s Wermacht and even in the elite SS. No soldier or officer was ever punished for refusing to obey an order that involved the killing of noncombatants including the Jews.

    Also in the Church of Scientology at one time you could query or refuse to follow what you considered an illegal order and in fact write a “Job Endangerment Chit” on any senior who issued it.

    Now to do so would be considered “noncompliance” to “command intention”.

    From there on the Church has become “The Charge of the Light Brigade” in slow motion.

  157. martyrathbun09

    valkov, I am on the fly. In short, DM is the mother of all squirrels. Tone 40 is at the top the tone scale, serenity of beingness. Jim might be able to explain more for now.

  158. I agree EIN!

    I read the article in ‘”KSW” News’ and felt I’d been smacked up side the head with a 2×4. I just seemed so wrong at the time!

    Sure none of these Franchise holders were angels, but hell they had contributed so much to the expansion of Scientology, that to me the whole action seemed like treasonous stupidity!

    I kinda wished I had said something about it then but there were so many other fires burning at the time.

    It was a crazy confusing period of time. As I wrote earlier a prior confusion for sure!

    There was so much randomity created by Flynn and Assoc. and their main client Ron DeWolf and the fall out from the GO raid that it was hard to keep track of what was actually going on!

    The overts of commission and omission committed back then in that period of confusion, make anything these sorry ass losers say Marty committed pale in comparison and act merely as a distraction.

    It was Miscavige who turned the organization over to the wolfs and now they’re are eating up the Church.

    Thus there is no question who committed the biggest overt and betrayal in my opinion.

    How the man lives with himself. Knowing that’s he’s sold out the subject for filthy lucre and a pat on the head from his “friends” , is beyond me.

    What Marty did was very similar to what the GO did. They did what they did with the best intentions of salvaging the organization and they considered that the “ends justified the means”.

    Having worked for the GO as a lowly techie. I could understand their dedication, even though I didn’t agree with many of the things they did.

    Thus I understand why Marty did the things he did.

    Many of us felt remorse for failing to avert the current catastrophe when we had a chance and thus the biggest overt of all is an overt of omission.

    That written.

    It’s time to forgive ourselves and each other.

    And some day when an amnesty is declared we’ll even have to forgive Miscavige and his “friends”.

    Did you know that despite Government attacks in the early ’60’s including the FDA’s illegal raid on the FCDC that Ron had included the USG under the first amnesty he issued?

    We all make mistakes.

    However, we pick ourselves up and move on.

    A very important point in the Code of Honor applies here and that is to never allow your affinity to be alloyed especially by these character assassins and black PR artists that will soon be generating their entheta, which is all it is *entheta*.

    Let us not become our enemy, which is the mistake the GO made.

    There is the policy ‘Attacks on Scientology’ (what the critics mainly post are the additions to it not the policy itself, for obvious reasons) that says that above all else and despite the attacks that one:


    which is I think is a good point to end my rant.

  159. Marty

    I respect you very much!
    Mostly, for getting and keeping your integrity.

    You are one hell of a man, in my view. 🙂
    To persist so strong, so long, and so straight is not easy. It’s really hard.
    I can feel what you experience in your daily life with all these allegations that you “lie” while all you have been trying to do has been telling the truth.

    “I am no angel” – these words attracted me to your blog.
    Yes, you are no angel. I am no angel, either.

    Are you “devil” then? – No, of course not.
    I am not devil, either!

    You and I and everybody around are just humans – scientologists or not.

    Truth? – WHAT is truth? – Truth is FACTS (not opinions). – What is FACTS? – FACTS are what we see and can FEEL.
    It doesn’t have to be more complex than that.

    I’m just me.
    You’re just you.
    That’s how we were conceived by Nature (God, Supreme Being, Allah…. whoever comes to mind first)

    The rest was up to “thinking men.”

    “Angels and Demons”, “On-source and SPs”, “in-ethics and out-ethics” – they were all created by man (in our case, by man with great charisma and power to attract people to his personal views).

    While I’m not a fighter with CoS, and couldn’t care less what direction will statitics go to:
    I support you.
    I support your cause.
    I support yours thoughts and statements.

    You know why?
    – Because you are an INDEPENDENT thinker AND doer. Because your mind is not covered by “ever-truthful philosophy” (whichever it is).
    Because you can now see and think for yourself.

    P.S. It’s great to be yourself and not listen to anyone’s opinions and “diagnoses” about you. Isn’t it?

  160. Definitely FT
    Infact I think he should have called the Article
    “I’m a Handsome Devil” ha ha

  161. Isn’t this about the definition of Tone 40 that refers to “Intention without reservation or limit”? I can see DMs actions as an APPARENCY of that.

  162. Hey Jack, It’s getting crowded up here on this nine foot high fence isn’t it! But the view is wonderful. Thanks for comming up and joining us my friend and a big thank you to all the others down the fence line who jumped up here with us! There is no worry to the integrity of the fence for it was built with very tough and reliable nails known for their realibility, integrity and longevity – able to weather the harshest of conditions and stand up to the most severe forces ever experienced! I am prouder than proud to call you my friend Jack and thank you for that~ — Jackson

  163. pssssst, to sum up my thoughts on this I´m just so glad Mosey is there.

    Love, Kirsi

  164. Bow-wow?

    I might be small, but I’m going for the sack.

    I concur; Handsome Devil.

    (If You’re on Earth… Actually, let me put it another way. “THERE ARE NO ABSOLUTES!”)


  165. Comrade, what a true comrade you are!
    Tip my hat! Fidelio

  166. Hi Roberto,

    You said something that reminds me; There is old video of LRH saying something similar… only a mad man would think he is not…

    The video is all twisted out of shape, of course.

    But I remember a time I was listening to LRH an he was saying he was studying His own work, in school. Yes, absolutely He did, I just hope it wasn’t clipped from the tape. God only knows with DM at the helm… If anyone finds or recalls please make note.

    Anyway, I was enthralled. Wondering what in the world “was his own work” ?? He never elaborated on who he was… That would of been mad. Years go by…

    One day I am watching a first class documentary on PBS. A Biography on a Great American. (For those who don’t know what PBS is in the U.S. it is simply a Public Broadcasting Station funded entirely from public funds, that puts out kick-ass television you can see at pbs.org) And I’m watching this whole thing thinking, dang, this is so awesome! I didn’t realize this guy was this fantastic and this prolific in almost everything! This man was a hundred years before his time.

    And it wasn’t until the very end where they quoted him, I recognized him, his personality and work. Just as you would recognize someones voice over the phone or your own dog if you seen him. I mean they covered everything; that his religion was that he was a Purist. Whatever that meant in his day…and they close the show with a quote from him; something like: “I look forward to returning to see what my good works have made”. (that’s a horrible rendition of the quote, but something to that effect) And Bing! Lights went on. THAT’S LRH!

    The Bio was on Benjamin Franklin.

    Now I don’t have any proof of that, and it doesn’t matter. That’s not my point. I challenge anyone who knows LRH to tell me different.

    My point is just this… Give it a decade or two and LRH will be remembered in the same light, if we keep our heads up, and push on. I’m dedicated to push forward with every spare moment of my time to secure LRH’s legacy. We can fail in time, but not with facts.

    I don’t intend to be waiting a hundred years. When they are looking for a face for $Billion$ dollar notes the inflationary system will demand. Hell, we’re near the END game as it is, just youtube Fema, or Fema Camp Coffins, and the SP datum; “SPs are terrified of people” strikes a cord.

    Now I’m no Johny-“Goodboy”-Tyler. But perhaps many of us will have to be. We have an “Army” (Anonymous) we have our lines.

    What’s actually on the horizon is anybodies guess.

    Lets gear up. Hold the line, make things count.

    I am happy to announce, I lined up a Cl * to Audit me. In a couple weeks. They seem to be very busy, Thank God.

    Interesting also, we are backed up by another group, those who know the Law. The Law and it’s System, is NOT for their abuse. Remember that.

    On your shoulders Roberto, I can stand and see much further.

    Thank you.

  167. Marty,

    A wise man once said: “Never need praise, approval or sympathy.”

    This is powerful stuff.

    He also said to “never regret yesterday. Life is in you today, and you can make your tomorrow.”

    Should we all sit down and compare our Whole Track crimes? I could give anyone a run for their money but you know what? I’ve been a saint my share of times, too, and a pretty darn saintly one if I do say so myself.

    But that was then and this is now.

    It’s what we do here and now that’s important.

    Black PR’ing Marty Rathbun is irrelevant to the 3d dynamic scene.

    If Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein were aberrated individuals should Watergate have been ignored?

    I’m about the message, not the amount of dirt, blood or soap on the hands of the messenger, Marty.

    “Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions”

  168. Modern day gladiators take the fight to the public with words, not swords. Instead of the colliseum as the arena, the new battleground is the tv, or any media. You are right Marty. The fight is not about you. Its about all the Machivelean and criminal acts done under the banner of “preserving the tech”, KSW,etc. Thanks for keeping focused and refocusing all on the real issues. I was at INT for a short time. It was the most vicious place on earth! I was told by female staff in hushed tones about the abortions; I saw the degradation of staff,etc. I firmly believe that old addage, “a fish stinks from the head.” It comes from the very top. At best it was condoned,tolerated, allowed, etc. It could have been stopped at any time and it wasn’t by DM -who just took it all to a whole new level of brutality. And he created the “halo effect” of this new atmosphere which further fostered the beastial behavior. I suspect he turned INT execs into these monsters who pounced on others to defend their areas, their posts and when they started pushing back on his crazy conflicted orders he threw them all into SP hall. (How dare you treat ME like that!) It doesn’t matter how many docs anyone would put in front of me – I know what I heard and saw. I am continually impressed by your courage and determination. You are not a man to mess with!

  169. Disinfected:
    “If there is any saintly quality, it is not to forgive. “Forgiveness” is a much lower level action and is rather censorious. True greatness merely refuses to change in the face of bad actions against one — and a truly great person loves his fellows because he understands them. After all, they are all in the same trap… – LRH (What is Greatness)

    I guess you’re no Angel either – but I ‘forgive’ you your inability to grant beingness.

  170. Hi Robbie, I am also an “old timer.” The people you mentioned were at LAO during my staff time there. It was Bill Franks, after he came back from Flag in a Nazi valence witch hunt, who decided that my then husband was the SP responsible for the down stats at that time. We were broken hearted, to say the least, and left town. I wish we’d had places and people like this to turn to. About a month or two after we left, Henning Heldt and Gretchen Wedow Schwartz came to us to say it was all a mistake and please come back. We didn’t and I’ve been out of touch with Scn. all these years. I have only recently started reading the blogs and getting a clear idea of what happened since then and what is happening now. I was hoping to find some old friends online. Henning was such a sweet guy. Gretchen too was an old friend. I was sad to find out that she passed on.
    Maybe you know others I’d like to hear about. Anyone else who was there in the sixties and early seventies?
    We left before the real nightmare really got underway. We were lucky. Life in the Church was really fun back in the day.
    Our first OTVIII’s had returned from Flag, our Execs (my husband was one) hadn’t been back from Flag for too long. Mary Jane Jewel was one of the XIII’s and shortly she was ranting and raving at various staff right and left. We had not been treated like that previously. When she yelled at me in public, I marched into her office and told her in no uncertian terms that she was never to do that again. I think about that now when I read about how staff is treated. I guess I would have been on the RPF in later times.
    The COS somehow found me some months ago. I recently got a phone call from a staff member from the new Org in Las Vegas. I asked her if it made her sad to see the nice but empty building? She said that it did and that I had a good point.
    I also was told, another time, over the phone that I needed to come in to be checked out by a class XII auditor in Denver because the probability was that I wasn’t actually clear or OTIII because the tech was out in those days.
    Wow! I asked when it became alright to eval and inval a person’s case? She said she was just stating the truth about the tech of that time.
    Thank you Marty for creating a place where people like myself can tell their story and blow a lot of charge. My first days online, reading the blogs, I though I was going crazy. I was blowing so much charge all at once. I still am….

  171. “I also was told, another time, over the phone that I needed to come in to be checked out by a class XII auditor in Denver because the probability was that I wasn’t actually clear or OTIII because the tech was out in those days.
    Wow! I asked when it became alright to eval and inval a person’s case? She said she was just stating the truth about the tech of that time.”

    That has got to be the most insane “R-Factor” I have ever seen and I’ve spent many years in tech and qual and pretty much thought I’d seen ’em all!

    More accurately an *out* R-Factor!


    These guys are starting to make Robert De Grimston and his Process Church look like paragons of “Standard Tech” next to these idiotic rat or more appropriately squirrel bastards!

    As a former tech terminal at the Church.

    I’d personally like to apologize for any inval or eval of your state of case.

    What this girl did and what she said was just plain suppressive!


    Now that I’ve “vented”, Marcy.

    I’d just like to welcome you here.

  172. Marty,
    I am reminded of a quote from Will Rogers; “Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.” We have all made mistakes or we would not be where we are. It is not human foibles which are dangerous, rather it is hubris which ultimately brings our downfall. Your humility and your courage to own your mistakes, speaks to your innate decency.

  173. Every angel has two faces. I think that is the trick. To realize this. Then nothing shocks you any longer. That’s how I live with myself. And frankly, I don’t think LRH was an angel either. Not sure I am allowed to say that. But there it is.

  174. I disagree!! AUDITORS are ANGELS!

    Anyone who listens to and holds the anguished tears of humankind, without judgment only with knowing, is an Angel.

    Angels get a bad rap. They don’t sit around and strum harps all day (well, maybe a few do;)

    Angels are the only ones who dare to tread and dive into the most gruesome fires of hell — and they have known their own hells.

    Only Angels know holy wrath. Only angels have made mistakes so gruesome because they have DARED TO LIVE in all manner of universes.

    Only Angels cry over their own imperfections, and know their own wrongs.

    Only Angels know Duty — and carry on despite their own varying limitations.

    AND Devils….are usually angels in disguise;-)

    So….I’m here to save the reputation of Angels!! ANGELS ARE NO “GOODY TWO SHOES”!! 🙂

    The whole “be good” business is a little absurd. Why? Because to BE GOOD one has to postulate he/she was BAD in the first place.

    Oh how funny it all is sometimes.

    But I bet I’ve outdid anyone on being BAD! lol Anyone want to take that bet?;) lololol

  175. I have a difficult time seeing LRH with Wings (too MESTy) … but he sure had a glow.

    I think the glow was a halo. But he was never Self-Righteous…and I think he would have (if I may be so presumptuous as to express my personal speculation) abhorred the title Saint Ronald. 🙂

    How the hell did he KNOW so much? It sure wasn’t by sitting somewhere twiddling his thumbs and never getting his clothes dirty.

  176. p.s. I love the picture. Peace. Humor. Compassion. Savvy. Mirth.

  177. Good grief!
    Beaten any dead horses lately?

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