Even More on Missions

By Mike Rinder

This small excerpt from the IAS event provides an excellent glimpse of the entire circus performance.  Little King David in all his diminutive glory, Shermanspeaking with his strange, vaguely hypnotic cadence and almost comical accent on words, spewing forth lies and trickery almost faster than its possible to ingest.  There is another 2+ hours of this torture. But when you can slow it down, pause the video, really SEE what is being said, it presents a very different picture than the veneer of slick smoke and mirrors that gushes forth.

Gabriel recently posted the Birthday Game standings from the Mission Network and in doing so highlighted the sorry state of this network.  It’s a bit harder to see from watching the video real time, but believe me, the efforts to wallpaper over the moldy, mildewed and crumbling walls of the Mission network just don’t cut the mustard.

First, just look at the stills of Mission openings that accompany the hype and you will see the following (and presumably there are many other false reports that I am unable to verify):

And remember, this is the BEST that POB and the full time Gold staff that work on events could come up with to demonstrate 10 years of massive, straight up and vertical growth:

1.  Here is a CURRENT photo of the Santa Monica Mission that is shown in his video with smiling faces at the ribbon cutting.

2. The “Old Tampa Bay Mission” is also no more.  Strange they put two Missions in the two largest Scientology fields in the world in the video and they no longer exist! Tells you how hard up they were to come up with ANY shots at all. And certainly throws a LOT of doubt on the other supposed Missions that are “flourishing and prospering” in locations around the planet that nobody can easily get to (which it seems is where the vast majority of POB’s wondrous activities occur — I wonder why???)

3.  The Dublin Mission shown as opened “since the Wake Up Call” has been there  since before 1993 (it’s in the WIS book).  And it’s not that this is a second Mission — if you look on the Scientology.org website you will find only ONE mission (and no orgs) in Ireland.

4.  The shot of the “Athens Mission” is the “Athens Org” as I believe our Greek friends can confirm – again the Scientology.org website lists only ONE Scientology org or mission in all of Greece. And its the org. There is no Mission.

5.  The Missions shown in Hungary are not on the Scn.org website (though the Mission is Szolnok was listed in WIS, probably closed down subsequently), the “Mission of Genova” is not on the website, nor is the “Mission of Montpelier”. That pretty much wipes out every “new Mission” shown in Western Europe.

6.  Pakistan is worse – the “Mission of Islamabad” is not on the website, and neither are the 4 missions in Pakistan that were in WIS back in 1993. The “Mission” in Thailand and the one in Malaysia also apparently no longer exist, not appearing on the Scientology.org website – and in fact, the Mission that was in the WIS book in Malaya seems to have vanished altogether.

7.  Africa looks sick too – the “Missions” shown in Cameroon and Mali are not on the website.  “Norwood” is, but it’s the same one that was in the WIS book in 1993.

And that is apparently the best he had to show. And it tells you they are REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel. This is 10 YEARS of Mission expansion and to cover one minute of event time, they used numerous shots of Missions that DO NOT EVEN EXIST. I can assure you, if there were a ton of new missions being opened the level of hype would be ENORMOUS. If there was massive expansion with huge flourishing Missions, he would have shown that (and not tried to fake it with “new Missions”).

Now, for what else you DON’T see.

The ONLY Missions apparently opened in the United States are in California, 2 in Louisiana, one in Florida (no longer open) and one in Bangor, Maine.  Not one ANYWHERE else in the entire US!  There is a LOT of the United States with NO Scientology org or Mission.

And not a single Mission opened anywhere in the United Kingdom, Germany, Scandinavia, Spain, Switzerland or anywhere else in Western Europe except the phantom mission in France and the phantom in Italy.

There are whole swaths of the world not mentioned at all in this 10 years of explosive, straight up and vertical expansion.

But on top of that – here is the REAL masterstroke from the bard of bullshit.

POB NEVER talks about JUST Missions these days. It is ALWAYS “Groups and Missions” so he can SHOW Missions (as there are no visuals of “Groups” as they do not exist) and then when talking numbers, start spouting off figures of “thousands” leaving the impression he is talking about thousands of Missions. If you are a fan of David Copperfield or Siegfried and Roy, you would really enjoy this big stage style “watch me make the elephant in the room disappear right before your very eyes.”

If (and that is a big “if” given the evidence that is so easy to uncover) there are 400 or so missions (more likely in the range of 100 that are open more than 3 hours a week), the other 3400 “Groups” are even more of a mirage-than the Missions.

Those groups, for the most part, are complete fabrications: POB counts every Volunteer Minister as a “group” – orgs spend hundreds of hours every week trying to confirm these “groups” by calling Scientologists and asking them if they were “active” that week.  And that definition is malleable if not criminal – “Did you use ARC this week?” “Good, you count.”  It’s the same with the “Dianetics Groups” – they don’t need to actually practice Dianetics or deliver any auditing, just attest to the fact that they are still in agreement with the principles of Dianetics and that qualifies them for “Active Dianetics Group” status. Those 3800 plus “Missions and Groups” exist ONLY in the imagination of little King David.

But if you present it fast enough, in hyperventilating Shermanspeak, with enough asserted certainty and accompany it with rapidly changing gaudy crap on the screen surrounded by baroque frames, well…  POB is doing a pretty good job of proving that you can fool most of the people most of the time – at least those that have been guzzling the Kool Aid.

As I said in my earlier post about the “Ideal Orgs” – POB has mastered the art of turning theta into MEST. His path of mayhem and destruction is becoming harder and harder to camouflage as the yellow brick road he claims it is.  His “Golden Ages” are truly the Dark Ages of Scientology — but as with all regimes that seek to suppress truth, creativity and beauty, they eventually meet unpleasant ends. And no matter how loudly he shouts, how exaggerated his claims become, how many denials he issues and how many people he pays, the green curtain is disintegrating and the facade of the Wizard of Oz is collapsing.

138 responses to “Even More on Missions

  1. Journey Continued

    Just listening to the convoluted diatribe tells you that he is full of crap! If someone can’t speak plainly and be easily understood, then you know without a doubt that they are not telling the truth. Please POB – say no more – it is painful trying to understand your gobblygook.

  2. Mike ,
    Bravo !
    Thank for your brilliant translation of Shermanspeak. Now all those Events I’ve seen start to make sense !
    Continue translating them so we can clear up all our Mu’s on that language from a different Galaxy !
    This language just sounds similar to ours but in fact means something totally different !
    F/N VGIS 🙂 🙂

  3. Flying Safely Under the Radar

    POB and Sherman should be in jail for those lengthy, run-on sentences. Enough to give one a headache, and it’s probably intentional.

  4. Hello and thank you for those news… Well I used to be a missions sales managers in NEP Int in the 90’s. I used to push NBSRAW, promo = people coming in, getting to know themselves, enjoying life….. Now nothing like this but money, money…

    By the way, question for Marty :
    I found many scientology books on Google Books. Can those be read ? or are they so altered that it is useless to read those ?


  5. BOB – bard of BS indeed Mike!

    Here is another verification, easily done on any web connected computer. Perhaps POB and the Gold video crew don’t realize most of the real World outside have easy and ready web access and Google is the enemy of BS!

    The Circus under the big IAS tent video shows the Mission of Melrose. Yet when one Googles it, Yelp says it’s closed! http://www.yelp.com/biz/church-of-scientology-mission-of-melrose-los-angeles

    Looking up the address on Google Maps and looking at street view shows it is not only closed, but replaced by “Nail City” business http://maps.google.com/maps?jsid=1&hl=en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=Church+of+Scientology+Mission&fb=1&cid=0,0,4478908247480480405&near=Los+Angeles,+CA&sa=X&ei=tmneTunzN4KQiQKZwqypCA&ved=0CAMQkwMwAQ

  6. Folsom Mission is shown in the video. This was a celebrity sponsored one by Judy Norton Taylor. It’s been closed for over a year and of course struggled ever since it opened constantly reducing its operating hours.

  7. I have never been to a public event where the midget was speaking. I am amazed that anyone with ANY Admin training and, an IQ > 90 could listen to him without knowing he is full of sh*t.

    Mind blowing.

  8. Looking up the Mission of Malibu shows photos of some grey cottages with a sign posted in 2008. http://la.curbed.com/archives/2008/05/construction_wa_69.php#malibu-3

    Entering the address listed on the web page onto Google Maps and looking at it on Street View shows the grey cottages, which have a sign “European Equestrian”.

    Seems that European tack and having nails done are more survival than POB’s Missions and groups!

  9. Boy are you right about that!

  10. I’ll also give some context to Redwood City. It’s across the street from Kaiser hospital. It probably relied on traffic coming on Marshall street from Veterans Blvd, but part of that street is currently closed down so they can re-build the Kaiser parking lot. A lot of Kaiser people have been going to other facilities, and the foot traffic isn’t what it used to be.

    Apart from that, there’s a park so small it’s actually called a parklet, and it’s on the very edge of downtown Redwood City. Not a great location for foot traffic at the best of times, and no free parking on the street, either.

  11. top of the vale

    Mike, that comment you made, “……as the yellow brick road he claims it is.” What POB doesn’t realize is that ‘yellow brick road’ is composed of yellow cake plutonium about to blow sky high. Then he will be straight up and vertical!!!

  12. Davis Scientology Mission Google search yields: (Closed)!
    http://davis.patch.com/listings/church-of-scientology-mission-of-davis Checking street view on Gmaps shows a “Copyland” business.

  13. No more Baton Rouge mission staff photo…in fact, only the official church website link now. Won’t be long for La. to be down to zero either. The BR mission’s building is owned by an OT, so no rent. New Orleans, well, that’s not happening much either.
    Sad for the people who were such theta seekers who have been fed on by the vampires to near death.

  14. top of the vale

    Church of Scientology Mission of Melrose – CLOSED

    Categories: [Add]
    7709 Melrose Avenue
    Los Angeles, CA 90046
    Neighborhoods: Mid-City West, West Hollywood
    (323) 658-8130


  15. Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road…;)

  16. GLOWING BUT FALSE REPORTS. A sure sign of a real suppressive person at the helm.

    And the only people who even care are about any of this are either fully aware of miscavige’s suppressive lies or are utterly oblivious by virtue of their very very very closed eyes.

    A new dawn approaches. Sunshine disinfects.

  17. POB is immune to embarrassment and/or guilt. His psychosis is running deeper and deeper in order to protect his status, his money, his high-level comm lines with brainwashed celebs.

    His overts are getting so careless now, it seems like he’s not even trying to put up halfway decent smoke and mirrors.

    The Super Power building could burn to the ground and POB would have an event the next day, showing the building still standing, in all its glory, Shermanspeaking about how the media lied and there never was a fire. Followed up, of course, by “Give us your life savings so that we can clear this sector of the Galaxy!”

  18. During an earlier discussion about Missions, it was said (by some) that THE key factor in building missions were the trained auditors who ran the Missions back in the day.

    However, what was not mentioned is that these Mission Holders, by and large, personally benefited big time thanks to claiming their Missions as “parsonage” on their tax returns. LONG before the tax exemption given to the Church in 1993 by the IRS, Mission Holders were benefiting tax wise in a BIG way.

    I’m not saying that’s a bad thing — just sayin’ — the BIG Mission Holders were consummate builders of dreams, builders of team spirit and terrific leaders and a savvy group of men (a few women) who knew the tax code and used it. Yes they were trained auditors but mostly stopped auditing once the mission was up and running.

    BUT — they weren’t without their own very strong sense of ME and made sure that they took advantage of everything they could. Each of them were seen at Flag as FCCIs, living pool side while their staff held up the stats. Their Flag auditing paid for by their mission, not with their own after tax dollars.

    It’s a whole different era now.

    Mission Packages are bought by wealthy public who they are told there are eager staff to run the mission for them. Whether this is true or not makes zero difference. It takes someone with LEADERSHIP skills which include charisma.

    AND NOW — with the internet there isn’t a chance in hell that a mission or org for that matter can possibly attract the NEW public to keep it open and vibrant.

    It’s OVER for corporate scientology — which includes the missions.

    The next game in town will be fun to watch.

    Public are actually quite forgiving. The past will be forgotten when a NEW intelligent and compassionate group of independent scientologists start to affect change in the world.

    It’s CHANGE that the world is hungry for. Stagnation. Denial. Greed. Glitter and Glam are THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.

    Wake up to those of you still wondering … it’s over.


  19. I stopped going to events when I noticed that it was two or three days before my physical and spiritual ruds were back in and my ears stopped ringing from the extremely loud sound systems. There was even one event where they had some woman proclaiming her “wins” in such a loud volume that I thought, “this is like an implant”.

    I was never quite sure what it was, but events just weren’t fun. Thanks to Mike and Marty and everyone else, I now know why. Gawd I am happy I never have to go to one of those again.

  20. Mike,

    Karen posted on another board some slides of the stats, my favorite was extension courses completed since 2007 – 6,500 up to 85,000 in 2011, claiming one every 12 minutes. Other stats such as people helped by study tech was shown as 0 in 2001, and 24 million tracked down the the single pesky digit. A very measurable and recordable statistic conveniently rounding itself to the thousand, while aesthetic being reported to the single digit.

    But even their math is crack based. One extension course per 12 minutes is 5 per hour, 120 per 24 hour day, or 43,800 per 365 day year. 85,000? Extension Course completions must be a cumulative stat if there is any fact to the number at all!! And if you break it down to the basics, lets say that the one every 12 minute is the real number for 2011, that measures an invisible percentage of one percent of total Golden age book sales, and lets say there are 20 thousand active Scientologists in the world, that represents 2 per year on the Major church push … basics.

    The stats are so bad, and the lies so outrageous that they can’t say anything that can hold up to even slight scrutiny. Hell, they can’t even do basic math.

  21. Hautreaux, when the “basics” were reissued in 2007, I studied all of them and most of the lectures in sequence in a period of six months. I had read all of the books originally in the 1970s but not in sequence by publication date.
    I had great wins in 2007 seeing how everything related in sequence. And I was happy that there would be a lot of other people knowing what I had learned so we could have a common reality.
    However, as I went through them, there were many places where I thought, “Wait a minute, didn’t it say something here about X or Y? Where did that go?” Some of these were important things that were left out. They altered the original idea and intent in subtle ways that were not proper. The person who only read the later version would never know this, would be missing some valuable data, AND would think he knew it all so would not bother to look when someone said it was changed.
    So my take on it is, try to get the old copies of books, even if you have to go on-line to read them. It’s worth getting the original, unaltered data.

  22. Sinar, I looked them up on Google, went to the website, got the phone number. Calling that number, I got a message that the number had been changed. Calling the new number, I got the Sherman Oaks Mission. I asked if that was the Melrose Mission and the woman said they they had been the Melrose Mission but they had moved and were now the Sherman Oaks Mission on Ventura Blvd. So the question is, did the Sherman Oaks Mission already exist?

  23. I believe it is still there – upstairs, off the street. I hear it only is open 1 or 2 evenings per week.

  24. This in reference to the Davis mission.

  25. LRH understood better than anyone that good, well run missions were the bedrock of Scientology expanding (actually expanding, as in delivering technical services for a fair exchange), so it’s hardly surprising that the Missions were Miscavige’s first zone of destruction in 81/82. The tragedy of the destruction of the mission network cannot be understated. Here in the UK there were many big, thriving missions around the country. Brighton was lively, thriving, and a great source of new public for SHF and AOSH just like it was supposed to be. Roger Kaye as Mission Holder ran a tight ship, thought big, and was well liked by public and staff alike. He built a string of missions along the South Coast; Chichester, Bournemouth (Poole), Portsmouth to name a few. As Tech Sec SHF I regularly had staff up for training or debugging, and the flow lines worked just as they were intended. One memorable example was a staffer – I forget his name – who came to us for an ethics handing, which was done in short order. Since his HAS hadn’t asked for him back straight away we stuck him in the Academy to start his levels. By the time HCO wanted to know what was happening he was already a Level III auditor and we sent him back as Class IV! Happy days.

  26. A mission that any org today would relish being as big as in its hey day, which hey day ended around 1982 with the Mission Holders ethnic cleansing.

  27. And while we are at it, let’s not forget the Palo Alto Mission, once the home of pro athletes (49ers) and top researchers at Stanford and SRI (Russell Targ and Hal Puthoff) under the guidance of Phil Spickler, still alive and kicking and making videos on Scn and LRH. The “Palo Alto Mission” now operates out of one of those industrial garage type buildings that ordinarily house a two-man auto repair business near the railroad tracks.

  28. But how do you know that original, unaltered data, wasn’t itself altered?

  29. Isn’t Miscavige’s way of counting missions the same as his overall counting of actual Scientologists? Doesn’t he claim a number that could only be “those who have ever participated in a Scientology course, been audited or bought a book” and not a true number of people who actively practice Scientology?

  30. Bryan- LOL

    More like, “Give us your life savings so we can clear this section of Clearwater”

    They can’t even do that. Do me a favor guys. Before you start clearing the Milky Way Galaxy and all its aberration~ take care of your home turf first.

  31. Last I heard, the Houston, TX mission is still operational. They actually had a Class IV Auditor which is fairly unusual I believe. The Mission Holder is on OT VII. She has a daughter in the SO at Flag who is married to (I believe) the Dir I&R, so she would have lots of pressure to keep it open. Also, I attended the opening of a mission in San Antonio in about 2008. The MH there was also on VII but has since finished VIII so she might be less subject to the pressure to keep it open as there is no way it could be financially self-sustaining. In spite of the obstacles DM puts there, there are still people wanting to introduce LRH to new public and working their hearts out at missions. Soon they will see the real sources of the obstacles in the path of their true purpose.

  32. Thanks Lynne, that just seems to be more smoke and mirrors. According to the Sherman Oaks Mission website, they opened in 1976 and is one of the oldest Missions in LA. http://scientology-shermanoaks.org/www/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=99&Itemid=79

    They have 5 Tech people – auditors and sups to cover their area of operations: Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Burbank, North Hollywood, Valley Village, Encino, Tarzana, Reseda, Woodland Hills, West Hills, Canoga, Topanga, Calabasas and extends further north along 101 Freeway according to their website – all North of the LA basin in the San Fernando Valley.

    Melrose on the other hand is a district of LA in Hollywood, within the LA Basin.

  33. Very true Dan. Try finding a Riverside Mission today which had 170 staff at it’s high point!

  34. Sinar: the Malibu Mission on Pacific Coast Highway closed maybe 2 years ago in that location. It moved to Point Dume Plaza (shopping plaza North of City of Malibu off Pacific Coast Highway). I walked by the mission 2 weeks ago. Their hours:
    Monday: 6:00 pm to 9:30
    Weds: 6:00 pm to 9:30
    Thursday: 12:00 noon to 5 pm.
    That’s it!

    Tom Price
    Los Angeles

  35. Mike,

    Thanks for the fact check!

    You mention that lack of new Missions in the U.S. …

    A few days ago I looked Gabriels document on the Bday game standing. I was MOST suprised by what I DID NOT see and that is mission representation in major U.S. cities. When scrolling through the list most of these names appeared (by their spelling) to be out side of the U.S.

    The U.S. is the churches “strong-hold. When you consider most of the states in the U.S. have 3 or MORE large cities (150 or so) you would expect to see a healthy percentage of these represented though this is not the case.

  36. Just compare an old LRH tape from Pubs Org Thistle Street with its Clearsound version as published today …. and surprise, surprise, today’s versions have holes — sometimes BIG holes. — Aside from those not being published anymore at all …

  37. If the public were to read the text of a DM speach (without the AV effects) they would see it is nearly incoherent rambling.

    Those who have watched “Wheel Of Fortune” would jump out of their seats, not to “buy a vowel” but to BEG for a “.” (a period)

  38. Sinar– The Mission casualties continue to mount.

    Based on the cursory inspection that has shown up here so far, in addition to the ones I noted in the post:

    Melrose — dead and buried.

    Palo ALto, Davis and Redwood City — in Intensive Care in critical condition and not expected to pull through.

  39. Don — Yes, its amazing how many cities of more than 100,000 in the US don’t have a Mission at all. I might just pull out a list and tally it up for the hell of it.

  40. It would not be for the hell of it. It would be quite a factual point. These missions are opened with such artificial grandoise that at first glimpse it might seem like the whole planet is cheeing them on. After a person goes in and gets ripped off and then never comes back and spreads the word of what is going on there, the missions close, almost always. It’s just a way of getting money out of people per the “DM Rule Book” and then keeping the real estate as fortune when the mission’s anticipated closing is sooner than later. 🙂

  41. Perfectly said WH

  42. I walk by the Mountain View mission every day, and I have *never* seen anyone in it. There is a whiteboard with “Free Tango lessons” written on it, some bookshelves, but no people, and the lights are never on. Interestingly, maybe 4 months ago or so, there was nothing in it at all, and a “for lease” sign was in the window. So, in one regard, the MV mission has “rebounded” from that, though its present state isn’t much to speak of.

  43. I certaintly support your comments Martin. The European Missions were also the back bone to Class IV Orgs/ Frankfurt College as it was known was the top Mission in Germany / along side Hamburg / then Neuemburg Mission and Switerland Austria /Gratz/ Linz / etc etc/ to many to list/Where are they all go too.

  44. Don, My very generous and quite unscientific count shows about 40 of the 275 have missions. And that is being extremely generous. And this is 70X expansion in the “delivery of help” (or whatever inanity it was) since 2001.

  45. Thank you Mike, for showing the scam so eloquently and clearly.
    In earlier years I got often lost and confused during DM´s speeches.
    I contributed my lack of understanding to the fact that English is not my native language and that I didn´t know enough.
    Now I can see, that with the rapid-fire speech and the hypnotic cadence, it is difficult to understand at all. A good speaker normally also puts pauses into his speeches to let the audience contemplate and digest.
    Additionally to the hypnotic drivel also the pictures of the video move in and out – like in a hypnotic spiral!

  46. A one-minute clip, with about one second per “mission.” No sense of any real people, or report of their production stats. That phoney, monotone, hectoring, voice with that cheap, radio advert echo. The garish computer graphics and incomprehensible symbols. Worse than Pearl and Dean. A complete demo in how not to sell something.

    At last – something davey is good at!

  47. Dorothy: I thought you’d be taller.
    The Wizard: Yes but my height is exploding straight up and vertical and more since the wake up call than in the previous two years combined.
    Dorothy: Is that a tanning bed behind the green curtain?

    Thanks for this great writeup. The curtain is definitely coming down.

  48. “But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking…don’t they?”
    —Scarecrow, in Wizard of OZ–

  49. I think Scarecrow knows a lot more about DM than DM does.

  50. Mike;

    I lasted under one minute trying to listen to this empty suit. This tiny little man boy is just flat repulsive. I remember my last event at Ruth Ekerd Hall in Clearwater in 2008. About 15 minutes into the DM rapid fire bullshit I got up from my seat and exited this large tent. Many people gave me that “LOOK” that suggests maybe I’m not towing the part line.

    No I wasn’t then and I sure as hell will never listen to another DM speech this or any lifetime.

    When my car moved onto the main street I felt a THETA release and I just laughed all the way home.

  51. Reading the books is an excellent source of education.

    It makes me rather sad though, that this is about the length of time it should take to train someone up to class IV. And each of those books has been placed on the academy checksheets.

    It is such a gross outpoint to me that there is no application of the data while doing those basics checksheets. No learning how to audit, or practicing the skill of auditing another.

  52. Unbelievable. False report = Treason. Long term unhandled Treason = Confusion. Is there no doubt that the POB and his minions are all in confusion? Willful suspension of disbelief on the part of those that worship POB is, well, pitiful.

    This is like POB reading from a science fiction novel and getting his deluded followers cheering on the good parts:

    “Commander Drake Peabody JUST ANNIHILATED THE DARK EVIL WARLORD!” (Thunderous applause!).

    “Sector 5 has been LIBERATED BY THE SAVIORS OF THE UNIVERSE!” (insane, rapturous applause!)

    “There can be NO DOUBT that the LORDS OF LIGHT will PREVAIL against the GRAY SPRAWL of MANTECA.” (Women passing out from excitement! Grown men crying and cheering!)

    Only, it is a STORY, and there is NO reality in it.

    At least Trekies KNOW that The Enterprise was not real.

  53. Enough Already

    A variation of this theme is the once-unheard-of, but now frequent phenomenon of 2 missions or orgs being combined into 1.

    When Nashville Org combined with Nashville Celebrity Centre a few years back, I asked the E.D. (Bob Klima) why. Without missing a beat, he sat back, smiled smugly, and proclaimed, “EXPANSION!”

    Yes, boys and girls, thanks to the magic of Miscavige Math, 1 is now greater than 2.

    George Orwell would be proud…

  54. You’d be amazed at the conversations taking place behind the scenes during the visual preparations and speech writing for events. King David is well aware of the current scene and the current statistics. He is well aware they are down-trending or non-existent.

    This is traditionally blamed on the Management staff, usually Marc Yaeger, Guillaume, Mark Ingber, etc., all of whom haven’t been on post for about 10 years.

    Marc Yaeger used to be appointed as the “Stat Man” because he had a “knack” for concocting up fancy stats out of nothing, like linear feet of TP saved through staff hygiene campaigns which reach to the moon and back.

    How it goes is something like this. King David arrives at Gold to prepare for the next event. The IMPR office is supposed to show what “they got” as far as the latest news and expansion. As there isn’t any they got nothing. Usually there is some remaining gung-ho Scientologists who is doing some activity in Boggawoggaboggistan and the main focus turns to that.

    New “events” have to be created and streams of orders are sent out to remote locations across the globe to get visuals of imaginary “expansion”. At great expense to the local orgs, or donated by some public or OT Ambassador, visuals are created with great pomposity which are fully staged, such as “openings” which is usually done by sending all the staff and existing public from surrounding orgs to that location, sometimes from a different country, filling up the opening space with “thousands of interested public.”

    Of course what you don’t see is that the travel expenses to get all the staff there came right out of what should have been staff pay – for the next 4 weeks, etc., but everyone “understands” as we can’t make King David look bad, can we, as he is the ONLY one doing anything about it. Something EVERY staff members “knows”.

    So back at Gold, King David is furious at Dan Sherman for not coming up with convoluted copy that is good enough to make nothing seem like 70x expansion, and they work over the script, and work it over and work it over, until King David is satisfied it will say it all without saying anything.

    He will then state this to the Gold Crew and Management and IMPR staff and make them wrong for putting him up to this, i.e. merely presenting false PR, but as he is the “ONLY ONE” who can represent Scientology at events as everybody else are so incompetent, then he is “unfortunately” forced to.

    Everyone nods, “understands” and silently swears at Marc, Guillaume, etc., for being so incompetent and suppressive, making it so difficult for poor King David.

    The final editing guys then spend days putting all the visuals and fake numbers into fancy graphics designed with the most up-to-date 3D computer programs, designed by the best designers and composite it all together with daily info and run-offs for King David himself.

    All the staff involved know it is just false PR, but they thinks it is “necessary” as they are so thankful because King David himself is having to do the event and they can’t make him look bad, can they?

    From beginning to end it is a known joke of PR and deception. Everyone knows it, including the King himself, down to the Visuals compiler and Editing Assistant and IMPR Admin staff, not to talk about the rest of Gold and Int who daily get told about the real scene and how incompetent Gold and Management are and that again for the 20th year in a row, for the 100th event in a row, King David is going to have to bail out Int and Gold for their incompetence to try to make Scientology look good in the public eye.

    It is literally the biggest machine of lies in the 21st century and EVERYONE involved knows it.

  55. The 1982-83 purge was the beginning of the end, IMO.

  56. one of those who see

    First of all, I want to mention the huge amount of case gain occurring in the Independent field because we are not subjected to the 3 hour torture of the DM Events. I do not know how I did it!!!
    Mike and Gabriel, thanks for shining the light on the truth regarding the Missions. I believe there are NO missions in New York City at all. There is one in New Jersey. Mission Holders were declared back in the 80’s and the New York missions disappeared, and none took their place. It’s been 29 years! Any New Yorkers out there that can confirm – I think there were 2 New York missions in the 80’s.
    Back in the 80’s staff pay was low. You would think with all this “expansion,” “Ideal Orgs” etc.. pay would be great 30 years later. Well, just spoke to an exec at an Ideal Org. Her pay was $12 last week!

    Also, New York Org, Day & Fnd. went St. Hill Size years ago. I was at the event. Well, I just saw a PT mag. this is stats for both orgs:
    They have quite a few people completing Dianetics Seminar, personal Efficiency and Success through communication and the other div 6 courses. Not too many Basics comps. Here is the rest of the completions:
    1 student hat
    1 pts/sp course
    1 method one
    5 life repair
    6 purif
    2 Trs and objectives co – audit
    3 objectives
    2 Scn drug rundown
    3 happiness rundown
    1 arc straight wire
    2 grade 0
    2 grade 1
    2 grade 3
    1 grade 4
    1 ned drug rundown
    1 solo auditor course part 1
    1 Clear

  57. The next game in town is fun to play in.

  58. “Give us your life savings so we can clear out your life savings.”

  59. I don’t usually come out and say things like this and I hope it is not considered off topic in any way, but your posting name “Flying Safely Under The Radar”. It reminds me of something. When I first learned what was going with myself and others in the church and *I* finally decided to report it to local authorities, I could not remain under the radar, because law enforcement want to know WHO is reporting WHAT and WHY. Realizing I would never lie about events in my life as regards a subject like the Church of Scientology I decided to use my true name and identity when commenting on the subject. I have a whole award winning web site of facts to back me up I guess, but more important is that I am not concerned about whether or not the Church of Scientology knows or does not know my true identity. In order for them to take responsibility for such matter they have to know WHO the person is, and they did start the trouble and fail at finishing it so I decided it is safe to say my name and such. I am not saying you are afraid to say who you are, I am just saying that you remind me of a time when I first came out of hiding and decided I was happier living with the truth than flying under the radar. 🙂

  60. The emperor has no clothes

  61. Wow, only in the Kingdom of the IAS would anyone consider 1 Clear and no Auditors to be either an “Ideal Org” OR a St Hill Size org — but that’s TWO OF THEM!

    Now THAT’S 70X expansion in our straight up and vertical drive to planetary clearing!!! (Standing Ovation)

  62. It has the feel of a twilite zone episode-maybe they rebounded when they started charging for the tango lessons.

  63. Ah Grasshopper…the Enterprise is SO real. I just can’t remember where I parked it.

  64. Mike – I really like the way you dissect, with surgical precision, DM’s bullshit and shove it back to its rightful source (the orifice from whence it came – the only part of his anatomy that is not small).

  65. And don’t forget those are probably the same two people doing the grades and one of them continued thru to Clear so probably no more than 2,3, or 4 people actually in the HGC.

  66. Thanks Tom,
    I guess these guys are not in a hurry to get out of Non E and to even let Google know where they really are! On Facebook, their page gives the old address as well.

    I guess they have to be open on Thursdays so they can report their stats by 2PM (for Monday and Wednesday) for the week to SMI!

  67. David, The COB of lies, Miscavige.

    It really makes one sad thinking about all of the people he has mislead…

  68. In the video there is a brief glimpse of a “new” mission opening in New Delhi, India. Unless my eyes are deceiving me it sure looks like Helmut Flasch there in the middle cutting the ribbon!!!
    Helmut, is that you???

  69. Don, that certainly indicates! LOL

  70. Jack, after one of that “little man boy’s” speeches I was certain I could never listen to another!

  71. Mike,

    It’s amazing that the subject of Missions was even brought up at the IAS Circus Tent as it has more holes than Emmenthaler Swiss Cheese! Dan and Mariette sent me a photo a couple of years ago in front of the closed Mountain View Mission.

    As you said, this is definitely scraping beyond the bottom of the barrel for “good news” or fool’s gold! I can’t wait for the summary of what 2011 has brought (other than fat Xmas Bonuses for POB for his 70X upstats) for the New Year’s event.

    Wasn’t the Superpower building to be opened in the next 25 days left of 2011? “Wait till next year” is a saying pertaining to baseball only!

  72. This is the one disappointment I had with a now-disappeared senior Scn exec. When he was asked how the stat about number of Scientologists was derived, he responded that “they came in, bought a boook, or did a course”. That’s pretty far from a Scientologist in my book. If it worked that way, I’d be a Buddhist and a Lutheran and a Mormon and a Hindo, all at the same time I’m a Scientologist. Wow. I’m counting on the stats for five religions!

  73. Mike, you’d think after years and years of this veneer of slick smoke and mirrors, people would be snoring! these presentations (events) he holds are truly laughable. He has got to get loaded before he steps onto that stage!

  74. The video flashed on a ribbon-cutting at Los Feliz Mission but that’s been open for years and used more than once previously.

  75. You know, maybe we could show this piece of video outside the church and call it the “Dead Missions” video. LOL

  76. Mike, your comment about Palo Alto and Davis missions in a death spiral caused me to flash on an image of another reason why the missions are in death spiral mode: The Palo Alto mission when I lived there was right across the street from Stanford University, not right near the main entrance which had a lot of foot traffic, but it was in easy bicycle range (and almost everybody at Stanford rides a bike). I’m sure the Davis mission was similarly located. I imagine that a high percentage of people who tried out Scientology back in the 70s and early 80s were college kids looking for something new and cool.

    But back in the day, I bet most of them probably had never heard about Scientology one way or another from friends. So they were a blank slate for the Church’s message about Scientology — the RCS controlled the first impression people had. Today, if a college student were to ride past a mission near campus and wonder “What’s Scientology?” they would just whip out their iPhone, Google “Scientology,” and the first page of results would have a couple of official RCS pages, an equal number of links to a number of anti-RCS pages, and a couple news headlines including the Freewinds human trafficking victim du jour telling her story. They’d be able to add this up with just a glance, say “no thanks,” and keep on riding.

    The Internet, especially when it’s accessed on a mobile phone, means the Church of Scientology has completely lost the ability to control the first impression of Scientology that prospective “fresh meat” has. That may have something to do with the near-death status of the missions in all these college towns. Sure, the decline of missions is universal, for all the reasons you’ve cited. But given that college kids are so much more plugged into checking stuff out on the Internet before they try anything, the virtual extinction of that formerly important source of public is probably even more keenly felt.

    I’d be interested in your thoughts about the importance of college student “fresh meat” back in the day and whether there are any college kids at all walking into missions, orgs, or whatever? Or is anybody under age 25 in all that office space virtually guaranteed to be the offspring of a (RCS) Scientologist today?

  77. I think altered tech is a real barrier to any actual viable church expansion.

    With the three-swing FN and all the other crap introduced by Miscavige that has made the tech nearly ineffective as delivered in Orgs and the fact that prices are so high and public have their money sucked away by the IAS, Ideal Org and other fundraising is it a big mystery why orgs don’t have delivery?

    I think Orgs expand when you deliver Scientology. Orgs and missions do not deliver Scientology so they only have a few captive public who refuse to give up on the hope and they are willing to donate all their money, retirement funds, take on crippling debt, second mortgage etc just to not give up on the dream. The dream they seek is just standard delivery of Scientology. Buying huge buildings and all that is just another big arbitrary they have bought into.

  78. Dan, Was Russell Targ a Scientologist?

  79. Question With Boldness

    How sad. I went to the Melrose mission opening.

    I was shocked last March when the Mission Birthday winner was South Coast mission in Foothills Ranch. I have been to the mission many times and NOT ONCE was there one person on course. NOT ONCE. The courseroom was empty and the lights were off every time! There was no Sup in sight at the Mission. The Purif was empty also. There are around 7 staff. Three are auditors, Kim Binford, Deb Trozzi, Mike Croke. There is two admin people, a couple of volunteers that help with promo, and two Dianetics Auditors. They get any new people in by ads that are placed daily on Craigs list. This mission is in a very small space in an industrial warehouse type area. There is no walking traffic.

    This Missions hours are Monday – Friday 2-6pm. You can call them at 949-794-1600 and their message gives the hours.

    And this was the 2011 LRH Birthday Game winner. What a horrible gift to LRH.

    The problem with the staff is that they cannot compare. They are only allowed to read LRH, only talk to certain people, not watch TV, etc. For Pete’s sake, how could the staff feel that they deserved to be the #1 mission? Especially when one of the staff used to be at the Riverside Mision in the 80’s that had 100’s of people on course every day.

    I am going to send a collectible kool aid pitcher to the Mission for Christmas as it is fitting.

  80. I looked again at the video, The opening of the “new” New Delhi Mission either has Helmut Flasch there in the middle or Horst Tubbesing…in any event the opening took place in the 1990’s, as did the “new” openings of the missions in Ekaterinberg and Kazan, in Russia.

  81. Your humble servant

    Very good research, Sinar. Thank you. Personally, I have always felt that the jarring special effects that accompany international events to be somewhat unpleasant, if not offensive. They were impressive, but I just never liked them. All of the gilt, columns, tunnel effects. giant doors opening and so on, just don’t fall into the aesthetic band for me. (The hypnotic band, maybe). Now you have shown that the purported mission openings for Davis, Malibu, and Melrose were just false. I wonder how many of those other promoted mission openings either didn’t happen or happened years ago.

    They at least used to have occasional real mission openings. I remember that DM came to the opening of the SOMA mission in San Francisco years ago. It was a beautiful space in a seedy area near Sixth and Market. Jenna Elfman opened it. I guess she put up the $30,000 for the mission starter package and maybe leased the building and paid for the renovations too. Then the Feschbachs ran it. Traffic was slow. They later moved to a less attractive, smaller space in a less seedy but far less foot trafficked area south of Market. Last I heard they had moved out somewhere on the Avenues. According to the Birthday Game statistics they are just barely limping along somehow.

  82. Mike, outstanding exposé on COB-CON 2011.

    There is a wonderful analogous study of deception that involves the grand-tour of phantom buildings and customers that do not exist in the fateful venture called ZZZZ Best Carpet Cleaning.

    Founder and con-man, Barry Minkow (“The Kid Who Swindled Wall Street”) had, on paper, an extraordinarily profitable commercial carpet cleaning company. So successful, in fact, that he was romanced by investment bankers to go public to support his own megalomaniacal ambitions.

    Naturally, the due-diligence was tricky. Not to worry. Barry took them to major buildings and skyscrapers, touring the premises that corresponded with his magical paper-bound statistics. Well, they were mightily impressed.

    The only slight problem is that none of those buildings were clients, they were empty shell structures that he used as props, temporarily commandeering them into photo-ops and on-site inspections.

    It was all a hoax. It collapsed, as all ponzi schemes must necessarily do, by sheer weight of time and the impossibility of supporting ever-escalating lies and hundreds of million dollar investor losses.

    MInkow was convicted of fraud and sentenced to 25 years, 7 of which were served.

    For anyone interested in how this type of corporate tromp l’oeil is perpetrated:


  83. Good eye Nanook!!!

  84. Carol,

    Interesting you say that — huge chunks of the rest of this event are REPEATS. The same stuff being shown again. The CCHR speech, laying out the Death Exhibnit and traveling exhibits and publications is the exact same spiel I gave at an IAS Annual event about 6 years ago! I mean virtually identical. I wish I had the earlier speech as POB just regurgitated it (its OK, unless you were there nobody will see the earlier speech as they have all been destroyed which is sort of convenient for Little King david).

  85. Sinar — the opening of Super Power is like the big ball dropping in Times Square. It happens at the end of EVERY year!

  86. John — I think there were a lot of college students that came into Scientology back in the day. I know quite a lot personally.

    Young people you see in the SO these days are almost 100% second or third generation Scientologists.

    You so correctly point out the difficulty of making a first impression on people today with the internet. Virtually the only people that don’t get thier impression of Scientlogy from the media are those raised in Scientology families. Thus — they are most of what you see as staff.

  87. Sinar.
    Good sleuthing !

  88. 🙂 I had a feeling I might step on some toes there! BTW, one of the things that impressed my teenaged mind about the Lensmen series was the brilliance behind the round space-ship design. In a time of Buck Rogers and torpedo-shaped space ships, the idea that the round design was stronger in the vacuum of space, and that there was no need to have aerodynamics in space where there is no air, I thought was very forward-thinking. Of course, I also loved the Inertia-less drive! I’m going to have to reread those soon.

  89. top of the vale


  90. Ah, yes – I love a good hoax story. Slatkin, of course, is a great story. There was a drug company a few years ago that did the same thing – moved inventory from store to store, just ahead of the auditors – they had gotten the auditor’s schedule by some underhanded manner. False sales – etc.

    The co-founder of a company my father was involved in went to jail for falsely reporting sales (my dad ducked out before they went public). There were hard drive companies shipping bricks instead of disk drives to inflate sales (http://articles.latimes.com/1992-02-11/business/fi-1795_1_punitive-damages).

    It is amazing what lengths some people will go to show a “positive” face. Mr David Miscavige is right in there with the best.

  91. Nicely written, Marty. I’m glad you see and help others to do so.

    Pat Krenik

  92. The CCHR Death Exhibit in NYC some time in mid November said: Closing in 5 days. Last time I was there – just before Thanksgiving it IS closed.

  93. His “Golden Ages” are truly the Dark Ages of Scientology — but as with all regimes that seek to suppress truth, creativity and beauty, they eventually meet unpleasant ends. And no matter how loudly he shouts, how exaggerated his claims become, how many denials he issues and how many people he pays, the green curtain is disintegrating and the facade of the Wizard of Oz is collapsing.

    Truth spoken here! Beautifully. Thank you.

  94. You are quite right about Stanford, Davis (as in Univ. of CA at…), and several other missions and orgs close to colleges on both coasts and in between. Collegiate clientele, however, were not ignorant of the lure of spiritual seeking groups – there were many, many, many of these in the heyday of these missions. Scientology actually did deliver – Comm courses, Dianetics courses, student hats (that cleaned up college MUs), co-auditing, part-time work, intellectual and spiritual camaraderie. Thus, these missions boomed. I would never characterize the successes as due to the managed first impressions or a bunch of ignorant kids. Word got around that Scientology was fun and exciting and mind-bogglingly different. For so many, it was a revelation. Sure, some students reacted negatively and rejected Scientology immediately as a cult without daring to see if it worked. Most heard those accusations but saw wins for themselves and friends.

    You are quite right about the internet, though. I can’t imagine any young person not popping out their iphone, ipad or other wireless device and checking out something they are curious about. (Oldsters, too). Then, if the young person does decide the subject is intriguing enough to look further, and they might try to ask questions of a staff member or someone fully “in” to comment on the negative things read on the internet – try to resolve the outpoints and entheta. However, no staff member can deal with their comm! Staff cannot communicate or handle effectively the probing questions because staff are ignorant. They have to just spew out the generalities and propaganda line which is so transparent. This just leaves an even worse impression.

    Because the culture of scientology and scientologists has become so weighted against non-Scientologists (wogs, middle class, and other pejoratives), staff often do not grant them enough beingness to realize that non-Scientologists DO have theta abilities and can often spot outpoints and read through lies and coverups.

    What a pity. Dissemination is harder than ever now, I’m sure.

    I would put the average age of recent events at 50+ with very few young adults present. Most persons who were under 35 were children of Scientologists. Contrast with a booming event 1970 – average age at events about 29, with a great range from very young adults to quite old (original dianeticists). Events then were also interactive (lots of group processing with Self Analysis lists) and fun!

    Looking at these sad mission stats while POB babbles on, I’d say the canary is dying.

  95. Wow. That IAS circus video by David MIscavige is Intentional bamboozlement. The same way dishonesty and blatant lies have become THE modus operandi of Corporate Scientology, here is one of its little tricks caught flashing lasers for distraction while the lying Ringmaster drones on with that mushvoice of confusing intents.

  96. Wow. What a bamboozler! And yet “parishioners” aren’t allowed to check the facts. Facts are David Miscavige’s “enemy.”

  97. In 1993 Munich Org did open 5 missions in Hungary. At least on the paper. Big announcement DM style. But evidently not true at all.
    Back in the 80ies before Finance Police actions against Missions they had to issue a policy stating that an org staff is forbidden to work in missions up to 5 years after leaving staff in the org as usually the mission staff had good pay they could live on. That had been a big problem as missions did demonstrate that it is possible to pay the staff well.

  98. EA,
    That, as much as anything, is an expression of the essence of POBism. If I was drinking coffee it would be all over the screen.

    DM is expanding down the toilet. And POBites are CONVINCED he’s taken them to the Kingdom.

  99. Sinar, Melrose Mission moved from 7709 to 6710 Melrose Av sometime before the Summer of 2009. Lousy location. At that time the owners, Chris and Iris Baumgarten, were busy planning their second mission in Ocala, FL, financed by John Travolta. According to the Baumgartens, Travolta had specifically requested that they (the Baumgartens) open in Ocala. They didn’t indicate that they planned to close Melrose, but it was tiny, dark and empty, with no parking, so I’m not surprised it folded. By referring callers to the Sherman Oaks number, I guess they’re hoping to divert new traffic 15 miles North, bypassing Los Feliz, CCI and PAC which are closer. Google indicates Ocala opened in May of this year. If Travolta wants a mission close to home, he’ll probably have to subsidize it big time for a long time.

  100. Yvonne,
    I bet you’re right!

  101. Sorry, that should read Baumgardner, not Baumgarten.

  102. If Marty were playing the birthday game, I think he would win. I’m bettin he has serviced more people and attested more pc’s on real bridge results than all of Texas put together. And the reason why as far as I can see is he just does it! He’s not farting around planning events to suck people’s money and lives from them.

  103. Martin Padfield

    Really interesting insight Raul, thanks. It completely aligns with Steve and jeff’s observations. And the biggest joke of all is that even the public mostly know its all bullshit.

  104. Gabriel-

    Well said. “Give is your life savings so we can clear out your life savings”

    That is the Is-ness of it.

    That is actually a very Zen statement. Its honest. Its real.

    I would have way more respect for the church if they said, “Our game is to clean you out. Pure and simple. Now, you ready to play punk? 🙂

  105. Thanks to everyone for your imput.

    Well I found them on “google books” so I will start reading some of them in a new unit of time.

  106. I agree with you. Reading, reading but where is the application… I think we have to do it by ourselves.

  107. What does it take to go Clear at ASHO Day

    Click to access asho-letter.pdf

  108. According to this article in the Village Voice, RTC seems to have found a new PR outlet:

    (watch the Scn Cross on her left shoulder)

  109. Sinar, I laughed at linking the “Wait till next year” to baseball… Those waiting for the Super Power facility to start delivering service are not like baseball fans in general, but more like the unique type of baseball fans that root for the Chicago Cubs. At the start of the season, there are a few moments of optimism when the Cubs win a game or two, but within even a few weeks, that optimism is dashed and the momentary “wait till next year” optimism last fall is replaced by “here we go again” that lasts for about 11 months. 100 years of no World Series rings, and yet the fans still come. It’s a unique brand of masochism. Or at least it was a unique brand of masochism until the Super Power boosters came along.

  110. Mike

    Stats talk, bull shit walks….

    On a recent trip out west, I traveled to a small town. There I found no sign of any presence of Scientology – however, a Jehovah’s Witness in our party easily found a Kingdom Hall in a community of 4,000 (prior to us even leaving on the trip) and was able to attend the Sunday meeting.

    A casual – very casual – survey of the landscape of America from one’s front (or rear) car seat shows just how many Kingdom Halls have opened in the last twenty years. I may not be in full agreement with the Witness’ tenants, but I know real dissemination when I see it.

    From what I understand, there are three primary or major actions the Witness’ must do: 1) attend the Sunday meeting, 2) attend a bible/scripture study each week, and 3) field service (the famous door to door dissemination). A commitment of about 4-5 hours per week.

    Criticize it if one wants, but that is a simple, effective plan. There are no over the top events that tout greatness and push self-importance buttons. No Patron Gluteus Maximus. Just plain doingness; and it shows in their stats as a group. Particularly, the door to door dissemination applies a fundamental datum all Scientologists should recognize – live communication. Theirs is not a Pepsi commercial campaign. Sure having someone knock on the door to tell one god’s plan may annoy one. And not everyone signs on, but that is not the Witness matrix. But the people at the front door are REAL and communicate to the best of their ability how they FEEL. And that is what works.

    Hey DM — be real.

    Andy Dufresne

  111. martyrathbun09


  112. martyrathbun09

    Yes, but it is Mike Rinder’s post.

  113. I almost certainly know that. But can’t you see the joke?
    What is more: it has the potential for a classic Co$ footnuke.

  114. Yes- Russell Targ was a Scientologist along with Swann, Putoff, and Pat Price.

    The hung at SRI and Esalen and studied Scientology. Oh…. to be a fly on the wall with those guys.

    The film “Men who stare at goats” was inspired by SRI and all the main players in remote viewing for the CIA were all scientologists.

    This is where it gets weird. This where there are so many outpoints and nothing makes sense anymore. Something happened there and maybe we will never find out what the hell those guys did.

  115. It is no surprise at all that many, if not most, of these Missions are either closed completely, or so part time and tiny as to barely register. A large number of these missions were created and opened in the first place as a result of the ultimate in last minute, impossible, stat push orders to “get 100 new missions opened so they can be shown at the New Year’s event”, which drove everyone involved to desperate faking of real products. POB really must be stuck in some deluded God-complex instant gratification unreal universe. Because he has everyone so intimidated around him that they jump at his command and humor his every whim, he must think that he is so powerful he can get the whole rest of the world to do the same thing. Then in those instants where the truly impossible obviously did not get done it is because of those damn SPs all around him trying to stop his (delusions of insta-grat grandeur).

  116. Dear Simple,

    Talk about events not being fun. Imagine what it was like for staff. Events became just another torturous over-the-top set of quotas that HAD to be met “before your head hits the pillow” (an oft repeated phrase used to mean “ain’t nobody leaving ’til the quota is met”). And these quotas were ASTRONOMICALLY OUTRAGEOUS. I can remember only ONE time where we actually MADE at least our own quota…and that was done by “pre-selling” the release BEFORE the event even occurred. (We were later warned by Int Management terminals that “of course you aren’t pre-selling the release before the event, are you?” To which we replied “Of course not!” But it was the only way to even have a hope of making it.)

    Prior to each event, just knowing it was coming, I would get enturbulated just contemplating what was coming in terms of enforced quotas, screaming, etc. This is what events came to mean to me as a staff member.

    So each approaching event was like an approaching nightmare from that viewpoint. Your normal post was disrupted (you still had to make all your normal post quotas quite in addition to the event quotas – no excuses) in order to do this. Those who set the quotas apparently had NO reality on what it took to make them. Trying to reg public after the event, when ALL staff were mobilized as sales staff for the after-event evolution, was hopeless. And then, once the public had pretty much cleared out and gone home, we of course hit the phones to sell to earlier time zones…tricky when the event was held on the same night in other areas…as many public were at their own event.

    Anyway, I just thought I’d share that perspective, quite in addition to the discussion of the event content itself.

    Hy Levy

  117. Hi;
    Some of those completions would be by one person. The grade comps listed would most likely be 2 or 3 people. So the actual stat of Beings beings served is much lower.


  118. martyrathbun09

    Hi Hy!

  119. Yes, for the 14th time, the Melrose mission is closed! Even AGP has a report on it: http://www.angrygaypope.com

  120. Yes, CHANGE! All the glitz and glam is repulsive, especially in this time of economic strife.

  121. 😆 Mike – crack based indeed!

  122. Actually, the SOMA mission is a perfect example of how the mission network is run these days…sounds a bit like the Ideal Org purchases of late.

    Cindy was the mission holder of Palo Alto Mission since it’s opening in 2001 and to her credit, she had the goal of putting the Palo Alto mission back on the map. The earlier and VERY successful mission had been part of the ’82 mission disasters, struggled along for a few years and eventually moved and became what is now Redwood City.

    She did very well with the PA Mission in the beginning. Lots of OL backing her up, lots of new staff and public and near the college. Suddenly young Scientologists (previously not really involved) began springing up all over the place. They even won the Birthday Game and she flew all of the staff to FLAG for the event. My ex, who worked there said she really was a great mission holder and enjoyed working for her as an auditor. As an aside, when Cindy was recruiting him and found out that he had never been auditor trained despite working on staff for over ten years as a tech terminal she promised him that she would make sure he became an auditor…which she delivered.

    Then came the SOMA evolution which included ripping off key staff from Palo Alto to staff SOMA. Not only did this destroy Palo Alto, the location of SOMA was non viable. After huge hoopla with major celebrity attraction and crowds so large they had to block off the street, SOMA opened its doors and within weeks the paper is reporting that it will be moving. At the time the building had been purchased, not leased and I’d bet that the Feshbach’s were the ones who purchased it (just a guess). Cindy is also listed as the agent for the Fremont and Cupertino Missions, both currently non-existant.


    By end of ’07 FSM News reports that they are the first to have a Basics Courseroom in Palo Alto and by mid 2007 it again promotes new seminars to attract FSMs and their selectees…on gardening, photography, music, etc., completely abandoning interesting people in SCIENTOLOGY! http://fsmnews.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

    By December of ’08 SOMA had another Grand Opening in their newest quarters attend by a crowd of less that two dozen. Palo Alto is hidden away in the back of a business complex and rarely open. Cindy and Joe moved to Austin…after living in the Bay Area for over 50 years…and Joe died suddenly at the young age 55!

    I’m sure there is more to this story….more strings to pull.

  123. TroubleShooter

    That mission in northern NJ was all but destroyed when most of the staff there were basically ordered on to staff at the NY org when they were cutting/pasting the orgs together for the grand opening…there was another mission in central NJ way back in the day that was a big, thriving mission at one time which now no longer exits.

  124. Great post!

  125. *barf*

  126. Nice to see little old Dublin Mission get a mention. I was on staff there for many years and can tell you that the video clip shows the ENTIRE Scientology community in Dublin – plus kids dragged along. This Mission has been open since the late 80’s. To say their ‘condition’ after 20+years is Non-Existence would be very, very generous. Persistent ‘Confusion’ would be a more accurate picture. They have far, far more enemies than friends – add ’00’ onto LRH’s 20% – and any noobs that start a course quickly ‘blow’, never to return, and always go with the impression that this not something to be part of.

    As it is only a handful of individuals that show up day in day out, desperately seeking a ‘stat’, Scientology watchers in Ireland have observed just how pitied they are by their own families and ‘wog’ acquaintances as it doesn’t take much for outsiders to see that something is awfully, awfully wrong.

  127. What are you saying Windhorse? That these missionholders
    should have given the money to the IRS rather than to Flag, where
    they kept going up the bridge?
    Or that they should have kept auditing pcs, when they had
    large mission to run?

  128. “And the biggest joke of all is that even the public mostly know its all bullshit!!!”
    Deep down for sure!
    And it’s definitely Moving On Up a Little Higher!

  129. Thank you, Mike!

    Just wanted to add that we started opening up missions in Russia in the end of 1992. It was a hair raising period with KGB infiltrating my translations and training operation and threats on my life, etc., but by the end of 1993, when OSA Int mission extracted me from Moscow, we had 56 missions opened up in the countries of the former USSR. Then in 1994 or 1995 “Int Management” ordered the OTL, which I started by recruiting first 6 raw recruits and getting them through the EPF in my apartment specifically for expansion, to round up and BURN all the LRH translations that were not approved by AVC Int. The approval process with Sam Fiandaca as the goalie was a total bitch so a lot of the translations were not approved. As a result, the number of missions dropped to 34 in 1995. With Sam Fiandaca off the lines I got lots of materials approved and Walter Kotrich did a great job as the CO OTL so at some point there were 148 missions, as I remember the stats.

    As of 2010 there were only 56 missions left in the countries of the former USSR. 18 years of straight up and vertical and lots of bombastic expletives brought us back to the same level that I left in 1993. It took about a year to put those missions there–all on shoestring budget and with minimal personnel. It took 18 years to bring the expansion back down to the same level I left in 1993.

    Thanks, DM, I hope you have a chance to become good friends with Rod Blagoyevich and make lots of license plates together.

  130. David I am on you like a sticky, Come and get me you coward.

    (Sorry Marty for being so rude on yourt blog)

  131. Pingback: More 2011 IAS event flim-flammery

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s