David Miscavige Killed Lisa McPherson

Mike Rinder wrote the following to clarify some comments he made about Lisa McPherson in his Village Voice interview.  I then wrote my own post below that which expands upon Mike’s and connects some dots and which lead to the carefully chosen words that constitute the title of this article. 

Mike’s Post:

I left some in mystery concerning Lisa McPherson.  I told Tony Ortega that I had not known Miscavige had C/Sed her to attest to Clear (just a couple of months before she became psychotic) until after I had left the Sea Org, in spite of working on the criminal and civil case for 4 years. This has led to a number of questions and speculation about the significance of this.

I did not explain my view that it was not that his squirrel C/Sing killed her (and it WAS squirrel – Lisa McPherson was certainly nowhere approaching the state of Clear), it was the fact that Miscavige himself had been personally involved in supervising her case. That set in motion a chain of catastrophic decisions based on the concern that “to not handle her would be regarded as an effort to make COB wrong.”

So, when Lisa was brought to the Fort Harrison and in violation of VERY specific directives never to have a Type III at Flag, and in violation of the C/S Series, the Snr CS FSO, Alain Kartuzinski went and personally visited Lisa to try to calm her down and reassure her that he would ensure everything was OK.  I could never understand his blatant violation of the CS Series and the Introspection Rundown references, nor the Base Flag Orders from LRH.  From there, the unusual solutions and handlings snowballed as the unusual solutions kept adding to the craziness – she should not have been there, but then they tried to deliver a non-standard “Introspection Rundown” (squirreled in MANY ways) and as it was not producing any result, they kept on hoping.  Lisa should have been in some location where she could have gotten non-invasive help with medical practitioners available (she DID die of a pulmonary embolism – it happens all the time in hospitals with doctors on call – so it is not certain that medical attention would have saved her life, but there is a better chance of it than in a hotel room at the Fort Harrison with people terrified of calling in a doctor for fear of consequences).

But the craziness started with Alain – who had been being berated by Miscavige for being “incompetent” for not having “correctly CSed Lisa” and so Miscavige had “stepped in to put things right” and ordered that she attest to Clear. A month or so later she underwent her FIRST Introspection Rundown at Flag with some apparent success.  That too was a factor in Alain’s decisionmaking.

I do not believe any of the people who were involved with Lisa McPherson were doing anything other than trying to help her. I do think the stupid decisions that were made stemmed primarily from Miscavige’s involvement in her case earlier, setting the stage for unusual, out tech “solutions” that were implemented. Things I never understood, until I realized afterwards what had happened.

Marty’s post:

The following did not become clear to me until I had spent another twelve years handling “Clear” case sort outs both in and outside the church.  In the early 2000’s I handled a number of cases who had some level of uncertainty as to their own achievement of the state of Clear.   If one understands the St Hill Special Briefing Course (SHSBC) and one understands further L Ron Hubbard clarifications and developments with respect to the state of Clear after the SHSBC (Dianetic Clear Special Intensive – DCSI – and Clear Certainty Rundown – CCRD), there is no more simple cycle of action in the universe than sorting out whether an individual is Clear or not.  Because I was working on little else than the recovery and Bridge progress of Tom Cruise and the Lisa McPherson civil cases between 2001 and 2004 when I left the church of Scientology, I had zero exposure to what Miscavige was busily implanting across the Scientology world: the utter complication of Clear certainty procedure for the purposes of caving people in and controlling the resulting wreckage to extract money.  That became, for a lack of a better word, crystal clear only after I left and dealt with a number of people who had been subjected to Miscavige’s Black Dianetics Clear Invalidation rundown – BDCI.

Scientology is predicated upon infinity logic, which holds that absolutes are unobtainable.  The closest thing to an absolute in Scientology in my view is the state of Clear.  L Ron Hubbard notes in the CCRD material that the meter phenomena that accompanies the statement of the state by a Clear is UNMISTAKABLE.  And anyone who has audited it honestly can attest that is about the most absolutely accurate thing L Ron Hubbard ever wrote.

About the second most absolute datum that Hubbard ever laid down was that ONE DOES NOT AUDIT A CLEAR ON DIANETICS OF ANY KIND.   If one truly understands the technology, the mind, and theta (spiritual elan vital) one knows that to violate that injunction could have devastatingly destructive implications for the spiritual and mental well-being of the recipient.

All of this is all the more acute for a public who is being handled by the very top, cream of the crop “A” team at the Mecca of Technical Perfection (Flag).  Put that statement on steroids when the Pope himself is directly controlling every aspect of it.  The point being, in the mind of the public there is no question that this is the very last resort.  That mindset is, “if I am fucked up after this, then I am fucked up for good, forever.” 

Lisa Mcpherson was fed the Clear cognition (that realization that – given it is accompanied by the UNMISTAKABLE meter phenomena mentioned above – signifies a person has honestly made it to Clear) many years before David Miscavige bypassed the entire international tech hierarchy to personally write a lengthy C/S directly to Lisa.  Anybody knows that when a clear cog feeding occurs (and the pc is extremely obsessed with obtaining the culturual status that comes with being declared Clear), C/Ses and and auditors have got to be extremely competent and wise in navigating the individual to the actual accomplishment of the state of Clear. The Miscavige C/S informed Lisa McPherson in essence that every other C/S and every other auditor she’d dealt with for the past ten years was criminal and out tech and only he, David Miscavige the Pope himself, understood that she in fact was Clear. 

Not surprisingly, within weeks Lisa had a psychotic break and was at the Fort Harrison receiving an Introspection Rundown in the summer of 1995.  I say not surprisingly, since Lisa had to know something was very not right – the apex of the spiritual freedom she sought for years turned out to be the same old same whatever had been going with her mind all along. With an Introspection Rundown administered by Flag technical staff – without Miscavige micro-managed intervention – Lisa came out of it and began to live life and produce fairly well for a while.

Until, David Miscavige imposed a months long onslaught of desperate, out-tech auditing programs.  Those programs were enforced by his unquestioning, and all-powerful, RTC representative at the Flag Land base.  Lisa’s auditor was the Snr C/S Flag (Alain Kartusinski), and so again, there was no question in her mind that her mind was in the hands of those who were her last resort.  Lisa received months of aggressive Miscavige C/S’s most dealing with evil purposes and heavy listing – violating the C/S Series injunction against swinging for the fences (going for home runs rather than working on a gradient, the latter being most important particularly with an over-restimulated case).  Miscavige enforced False Purpose Rundown and even Expanded Dianetics, and to top it off listing on top of listing.   And all the while Lisa was left to struggle through it thinking, “this is what I spent my entire adult life pursuing, Clear.”

That Lisa McPherson went insane during this ordeal should be no surprise to tech trained people.  Her auditor, Alain, with zero control over this programming and C/Sing, had been reduced to propitiating to Lisa to keep her in affinity with him as auditor. He spent more time out of session commiserating with her than in session auditing her.

And there is the context in which to evaluate Mike’s mention above that there was no introspection rundown ever delivered to Lisa McPherson during her second, and final, tragic psychotic break.  It was the desperate leading the desperate.  To complicate matters, the RTC Representative ordered that Lisa be held on the Flag Land Base, based on precedent set by Miscavige having ordered earlier Flag publics who had had psychotic breaks to be similarly held, and to be directly supervised by the RTC Represenative.  To complicate matters further, the RTC Representative was in a complete prison cell of Miscavige’s own construction.  To report to Miscavige that his C/Sing and programming had resulted in a psychotic break would have been suicide for her and worse. So, now everyone involved in the handling of Lisa’s psychotic break were simply hoping she’d come out of it with doting care and love – and all the while trying to keep the episode quiet.  To complicate matters even further, when it was apparent that Lisa was deteriorating physically the RTC representative and Alain in their horrific fear of Miscavige vengeance, began rationalizing and justifying that Lisa was “calming down.”   And Lisa wound up calming down all right, she calmed down to death.

L Ron Hubbard was not joking around in the fifties when he warned about the specter of the potential use of Black Dianetics. 

With 20/20 hindsight it is becoming more clear to me now.

Lisa McPherson was killed at the Flag Land Base.

David Miscavige killed Lisa McPherson.

David Miscavige has been doing little else since than attempting to prove himself right by imposing on all Scientologists that which he already imposed on Lisa McPherson.

–    Marty Rathbun

395 responses to “David Miscavige Killed Lisa McPherson

  1. Bold words Marty, do you think David Miscavige will sue for defamation or not? It would be interesting to give this issue and David Miscavige a good airing in court


  2. Jeez, I hate it when you mince words like this.

  3. “if I am fucked up after this, then I am fucked up for good, forever.”

    This is why I didn’t want to go to Flag. I felt that Scientology standardly applied would get the results I wanted. I never felt I was a “Special Case” and never wanted to be one. I mean I’m special and unique, just like everyone else, just not a “Special Case”.
    I guess that’s why I got in trouble. I kept demanding standard (LRH Scientology) handlings.

    My condolences to Lisa M’s family. They lost a daughter and then then were subjected to the mess after. I’m sure their main focus was to try to ensure no one else had to lose their family members as well. And yet people are still dying from squirrel handling in the RCS.

    Thanks for writing this.

  4. Wow…

    Finally, some clarity on this tragic event. Thank you, Marty and Mike.

    During my last months on lines with the DM puzzle factory I was incorrectly run on EXDN for a short while. It was later pointed out that it was a GAE, but of course, I would have to pay for the repairs before going onto the alternate route (which was the correct C/S for me). This was AFTER GAT as well. I can tell you that it was torture. So, I can imagine what it must have been like for someone in Lisa’s state to have been done so, and the terror it caused in her. Thankfully, I was not/am not Type III, but I fully understand what Marty is talking about when he says such about EXDN being on such cases.

    Press on……

  5. No punches pulled here. Nice.

    I didn’t know that David Miscavige was trained as a C/S.

    What made Lisa so important to him that he would step in and take over her auditing? Was she safe to meddle with? I mean, was she chosen over others because someone less vulnerable protest and cause trouble, maybe?

  6. martyrathbun09

    He’s not a trained C/S. He hasn’t audited anyone since the 60’s and never trained as a C/S. He hasn’t trained on any of the atrocities he commits daily in the name of Scientology.

  7. martyrathbun09

    Thanks for sharing this.

  8. Good post – thanks for telling it like it is.

  9. martyrathbun09

    There are only three ways out of Flag these days:
    a) Compliant and out of valence.
    b) Out of valence and hurting real bad.
    c) In valence and defiant.

  10. I’m not presuming to answer for Marty, but from my knowledge of law, there is absolutely no way David Miscavige would sue over this and thus open himself up to being deposed, testifying in court, etc, on this subject. In fact that is about the last thing he would ever do.

  11. Only saw the title, Marty, and my reaction is, “Wow! Let’s see David Miscavige sue for libel on THIS one!”

    ROFL–DM better put up or shut up!

  12. Marty,
    It would be great if you can expose one day all about CCRD changes intentionaly done by David, we have a lot of people around the world wondering “whey they were not clear” or “now why they need to re-do NED”, people are really having a bad time. Thanks for posting this Is one of the phew posts I really appreciate and good job on this, keep it like that and keep going exposing, people need to know.
    Rafael Gómez

  13. Bruce Pratt

    Amen brother.

    a) and b) both come with the added baggage of financial irregularities and significant debt.

  14. Yes, if he can impose this black as hell evil onto others and they live, why then he can prove himself right. Evil bastard.

  15. Bruce Pratt

    If one considers that the withholding of the truth a form of lie, which I do, then this tragedy unequivocally demonstrates the LRH datum that if you want to control someone, lie to them. David Miscavige has been lying to everyone for far too long. The control of information exercised on this 3D engramic chain of incidents speaks volumes.

  16. Kevin Tighe

    Alain was a wonderful human being. As far as I’m concerned DM killed Alain too.

  17. Now that I’ve read the article, I say, “SPOT ON!”

    My husband was driven far, far down with the type of procedures that broke Lisa McPherson. He wasn’t in rough case shape to begin with, and it still wore him to desperation. I hate to think of what is being done to so many still in the church…

  18. Kevin Tighe

    Perhaps Bennetta has something to do with DM’s interest in Lisa.

  19. And so we get down to the nitty gritty, and perhaps the biggest w/hold the dwarf is trying to be right about, all the way up to p/t.

    This oughtta stir up the Facebook Nazis, big time.

    For Lisa’s family, all I can say is how deeply sorry I am that this happened.

  20. And “c” will get you labeled “CI”.

    Of course being “CI” is the correct response to the crap that is being shoveled.

    Marty and Mike, thanks for this. It is a real service to many.

  21. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone

    While nothing is perfect, a hospital would have greatly reduced the chance of an embolism in the first place. The poor and irregular diet of food and fluids that Lisa McPherson was receiving made it much more likely that a clot would detach and cause the embolism. As well, did the clot come from a bruise caused by a trivial fender-bender accident, or from later bruises when she was struggling with her captors and bouncing off of walls?

  22. This has to be the most potent and impinging recounting of just how horrible things in the corporate Scn world had and have become, especially if, as you say. this same set of DM “interpretations” of the auditing tech is still being implemented on the public.

    I heard that Alain the C/S was sent away from Flag after Lisa’s death and that he later died. Is there a story behind his demise that played out with a similar set of circumstances (ie. BDCI) as Lisa’s? Anyone know details?

  23. martyrathbun09

    Agreed. On the cause, that was hotly disputed at the time and could only be more so with the passing of time.

  24. martyrathbun09

    Thanks Lynne. He is not alone – I have audited several people who had previously been run into the ground with BDCI since I left.

  25. E.J. Croughs

    That’s correct but still bold words and respect….

  26. True but is David Miscavige acting rational these days, I mean Debbie Cook handling…?

    Guess you’re right David Miscavige can’t be that stupid (hopes he is coz last time I thought this he was).

    Not that I wish Marty any hassle but there would be funding for Marty I’m sure and it would be like Miscavige’s Eastern front.

  27. All I can say is, wow. I was at Flag in ’95, and vaguely remember hearing something about this, but it was so guarded and hush-hush, obvioiusly.

    If I wanted some serious, on-tech, KSW auditing today, where coulkd I find it? No way would I ever step into Flag again.

  28. disinfected

    You forgot the way Lisa made it out of Flag…

    4. Dead or dying.


  29. Tony Dephillips

    LFBD F/N…

  30. on the blogroll of this homepage you will find links to many auditors.

  31. I am with you on that Kevin. He was demolished and turned into a shell of what he had once been. Sort of like Guilolaume, Heber, Ray Mithoff and numerous others….

  32. Yeah, but it does explain in no uncertain terms the insanities and cover up actions which occurred after and as a result.

    Even the Superpower/Mecca public rip off project was started to distract and as a PR action for the LM flap, for one.

    Single malt Scotch was a personal solution from the visit to Scotland in 2000 and etc.

  33. Alain took the brunt of the blame for what happened. He was sent to the Hacienda to be the Laundry In Charge. The inval/eval caved him in and destroyed him. He literally lost his will to keep fighting.

  34. Didn’t Benetta have Lisa writing up her overts just before Lisa went Type III?

  35. ThetaPotata

    This is article is very revealing! Delving into specifics of DM’s direct involvement in the out-tech on Lisa McPherson makes a light bulb light up over my head. The broad scope of Miscavige’s negative effect on everything he touches is still hard to fathom. How could anyone be that fucked up? I mean we’re talking Dark Ages Inquisition level Evil.This blog is delivering small doses of truth which is the right medicine for me. I feel my framework and stable datums slowly moving over to something I can think with. For the longest time I thought the tech was okay, it’s just the overwhelming demand for money and devotion that was a problem. As long as you kept your head down and didn’t create any problems you would get standard tech. How wrong that thinking was…

  36. johnny d / thetan-x

    So DM was auditing when he was a child, in the 60’s ? truly bizarre !!!

  37. I’ve seen the autopsy photos on line.

    Warning: They are very graphic and disturbing. Not for the faint of heart.

    Lisa’s body was in such severely bruised and discolored shape, not to mention severely anorexic and dehydrated, I struggle to contemplate how the church got away with it.

  38. But with all this new info come to light, couldn’t the McPherson family
    take this back to court?

  39. Good morning, David Miscavige.
    Well, are you just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open or are you going to file a lawsuit against Marty for this libelous accusation?

    Oh, and BTW, I had an epiphany last night. Your “church” really isn’t a church, it’s a farm! Yeah, Old Miscavige has a farm. EIEIO. And on this farm you have some sheep. EIEIO. And on this farm you have some chickens. EIEIO. Yup, Old Miscavige has a farm. But on this farm, it’s not only the chickens who lay eggs!

  40. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone

    So you had no idea that he’d been directly involved in Lisa’s case until that later came out via Don Jason and Tom De Vocht? He must have had his own private shedder-party first thing.

  41. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone


  42. Phil de Fontenay

    Very interesting post. Thanks for clearing this up so beautifully!

    When I was in the middle of OT7 I had to re-do NED because I was
    not Clear. Doing NED at that point was super painful and when I
    absolutely refused to do more they did a listing action to check
    for the clear cog. Looking back it was a bit of a leading question
    like who put the bank there or some such thing ~lol
    F**K! why didn’t you ask me that in the first place dumb ass!

    I can’t believe what they put that poor girl through! It’s just sad not
    to mention criminal.

    Pack your bags Dave and don’t forget the lubricant!

  43. Here is my experience with Alain Kartouzinski, some time before the Lisa incident. At that time Alain seemed to supervise a single auditing department (HGC) :

    I was a public preclear at Flag, and the last 12 auditing hours that I had received did not lead anywhere. It was like an empty ritual. I compared myself to a milk producing cow – I produced Floating Needles, but didn’t gain anything from it.

    I had complained to several people at Flag, but to no effect.

    Then I got an interview from Alain himself. During this interview his willingness to help was obvious. But I could also see that he – my auditing supervisor – had not understood some things about my case, and had not realised that things didn’t go well. I got the idea that he was overloaded with all the preclears he had to deal with.

    He gave me the impression that he understood my situation now, and that everything would come out fine. I still believe that he really meant it.

    But frankly, the amount of incompetent people at Flag topped everything that I had ever experienced at lower orgs. (And this was before the alledged Golden Age of Tech !)

    So it didn’t take long until I realized that I would never make it in the mecca of mutilated tech, robot supremacy and worship of the holy statistic.

    At that time I really collapsed, losing all hope and feeling the most horrible disappointment. Exactly like Marty had stated above : “if I am fucked up after this, then I am fucked up for good, forever.”

    Note : that was then. Today is much different 🙂

  44. Phil de Fontenay

    Amen to that T!

  45. Phil de Fontenay

    And died of cancer at the age of 58! Same with Richard Reiss. Died
    of cancer. Jeez! this lunatic is dead and gone!!!

  46. ThetaPotata

    I like the image that goes with this. Adds a little levity to the darkness that surrounds all things Miscavige.

  47. Bruce Pratt

    May I add: To awesome result!

  48. If it is true that Lisa was being made to write up overts in and around the same time all the squirrel tech was being applied to her by David Miscavige, I would think that would have just added to her burden.

  49. Jethro Bodine

    I think it’s important to point out that the Introspection Rundown did NOT kill Lisa McPherson; she was never even run on it the second time she had a psychotic break. A person has to first be destimulated by a change of environment handling. LRH says in several references that one does not audit a PTS Type 3; you audit them once they’re PTS Type 2.

    I’ve personally seen the Introspection Rundown work on several people. For example, Chuck Prenner who was the CO of INCOMM was audited by Sandy Wilhere on it in 1987 and he totally came out of it (Sandy was a Class 12 auditor and the Senior C/S at AOLA at the time).

    Lisa McPherson should have never been held at Flag against her will as it was already a restimulative place for her. It was all the unusual solutions that killed her, one unusual solution compounding another one. Even her Scientology doctor (forget his name) committed unusual solutions by prescribing medications even though he personally never examined her (he also got in legal trouble for this).

    So, it’s important to note that it wasn’t “Scientology” that killed Lisa; it was Miscavige and his minion’s unusual solutions and out tech. Miscavige has never completed an auditing interneship and has never completed a C/S course and had no business C/Sing Lisa’s folders. Miscavige belongs in prison.

  50. Hi;

    I recall that was the case, and I used to wonder if that o/w write up was what drove her insane. I seem to remember that Lisa was frantic in trying to find her ‘overts’. This is all 3rd party stuff, so I can’t say for sure, but it was an issue well discussed on ARS and ACT at the time.

    Also, DM used to appear at some of the court hearings, micro managing the lawyers I guess. I remember seeing pictures of him in the gallery. It became known shortly afterwood that DM was the one who was C/Sing her, and I figured that is why he really, REALLY didn’t want to be named in the civil case.

  51. Marty, these are strong words and the story is so shocking it beggars belief.

    But on the question of libel raised by other commenters:

    A famous British libel lawyer, George Carmen QC, would quote the following case to potential clients who were considering sueing for libel:

    In the seventeenth century a plantiff sued for libel for having been called a highwayman. At the libel trial, evidence emerged that he was, in fact, a highwayman. He lost the libel case and was arrested then and there, committed at Newgate and hanged for being a highwayman.

    Its worth reflecting on this case if one ever considers sueing for libel.

  52. I just realized, the phenomenon of trying to find her /overt/ could be an indication of out lists.

  53. It looks to me that all this squirrel tech that’s going on, doing lots of damage to people, even killing them, looks dangerously like the way 19th century psychiatrists worked. There comes a point that the ‘official’ tech aplied nowadays will be even more dangerous than modern psychiatry, so to speek.

  54. Richard Royce

    I would like to share a little of my experience with Alain after his fall. On our rout out of the Sea Org at Flag in 2004, Kristina and I were put on hard labor punishment for daring to want to leave the Sea Org even though Kristina was essentially physically fading away. The two doctors the SO sent staff to told Kris in no uncertain terms it was curtains for her if she did not get out of that stressful environment so for the next 4 months we were imprisoned at the Hycienda with 8 foot fences around and a guard booth controlling who comes and goes. Except for the 2 hours a day that we were interrogated for our crimes against the Church we spent ironing and folding laundry for the execs under the guidance of Alain. Day in and day out just like in the prison movies, laundry laundry laundry. But on the brighter side Alain somehow managed to get a radio that he liked to listen to when he worked and what was even better was he liked to listen to the comedy program so we got to hear some very funny stuff!

    The sad thing to see was here was a class 12 auditor who was folding shirts for a living! We finally got out but heard through the grape vine that Alain never came back. He probably died of a broken heart. What a waste.

  55. Thank you, Tyler

  56. My first New Era Dianetics session went quite bad. My C/S Person E ordered me to Ethics. Cause I had no case gain. In 1978. Later in 1979 I had been allowed onto the Clear Check. In 1980 I had been told by C/S Person E that I am not. 1982 in the AOSHEU I stated that I want the Clear cycle to be looked into. Person E C/Sed me again. He ordered me to a PAB6 programme (a programme to come into present time) instead of handling what I originated. Later in 1984 I had been able to look into it. C/S had been Person A. And I made it. Later in 1990 or so I wanted to have another look onto that cycle and C/S Person E refused it and put me on a lenghty False Purpose Rundown. I know of no other area of my life that can create such big mass and charge. Oddly enough in my case only one person (E) is involved.

  57. Phil Bruemmer

    I interned in the Flag Case-Cracking HGC and had some dealings with Alain Kartuzinski. He helped tremendously in turning a complete meathead into an auditor.
    I cannot even express how much I hate David Miscavige for destroying this man.
    Another stellar tech terminal trashed by this filthy suppressive.
    Lisa McPherson…
    No wonder this prick drinks whiskey.

  58. Richard Royce

    Hi Mike,
    I should have read all the posts before posting my post above and posted it here! Sounds like a tongue twister!

    You are right. Kris and I worked under him in laundry on our route out and he was very depressed and subdued. He was like a broken man. Yes we had a couple of chuckles listening to the radio but give me a break, he was the top CS reduced to that! He told us he had to be there until the case blew over because he was a witness and couldn’t be on a high profile post.

  59. I assume it was Miscavige’s blatant out tech on Lisa McPherson in the 90s that led to his widespread out tech on Clear cycles across the globe in the early 2000s — Miscavige’s arbitrary “7 point indicators of Clear”, plus his broad and disastrous pronouncements that most Clears were not, in fact, Clear.

    I imagine he screamed at the top of his voice that everyone was “screwing up Clear cycles” which then led to him having to step in and “sort it all out”. The usual dramatization.

    Please correct me if I’m wrong.

  60. I got my data from the same place you did. Hard to know if it was true. Could have been an effort to direct suspicion away from Miscavige for all I know.

  61. I believe that Mike speaks the truth and should be recognized
    as having the courage and guts to make a hard call.

    Anyone who has a death wish should get lots of auditing at Flag and get on solo OT 7 asap. I’m serious this is a monster situation, Lisa is only the tip of the ice berg..

  62. FCDC Class of 74

    Eye opening write up. How powerful the tech and as we see potentially deadly in the hands of the incapable. How long will he be allowed to run amuk and unaccountable for his crimes against humanity? DM have you no decency or conscience? Go the F*#K away.

  63. yvonneschick

    Thank you, Marty. I thought I would have to wait for your book to get all this in print. You may be the boldest man I have ever had the pleasure to know and call friend.

    DM is the worst kind of criminal; hiding behind the worthy intentions of others to help their fellow man. There is a special place in hell for him and I believe they are warming the fires at this moment.

    Now, I’m off to continue with my Flourish and Prosper games.

  64. Ronnie Bell

    Damn….just damn.

    I, too, endured the Miscavige Clear Invalidation Rundown at ASHO in the summer of 2005. It quite literally nearly drove me insane. After slogging through six weeks of ‘auditing’ at ASHO, I finally could not do another single minute of it, and told them so.

    Only the Board I/C put up a fight, but I didn’t relent, and no one from the org ever came to my house, or tried to recover me, even though it should have been apparent to even the lowest grade tech terminal that I was severely red tagged.

    A full two months later, I got a comm from the org, saying that I “should just take a breather and destimulate.” I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or beat the crap out of someone for what had been done to me.

  65. Alain died of cancer in 2009.

  66. Tony DePhillips

    Me too Phil! On that “refresher” I did 5 intensives of sec checks and then 3 intensives of Ned. Painful spiritually and monetarily!!

  67. Ronnie Bell

    Knock it off. You know what he meant.

  68. The same old LDW

    Hummmmm…I wonder if we can get the crime of being “a notorious, whole-track implanter,” into legal statutes. I don’t really know how else to accurately lable miscavige.
    Certainly, if highwaymen should be hanged…well…

  69. The same old LDW

    “How can he/she be clear if he/she won’t obey me?” This seems to be miscavige’s hidden standard.

    You’re not wrong.

  70. Tony DePhillips

    That’s sick Ronnie. It’s good your free now and you can get sorted out if you haven’t already.

  71. Merrill Mayo, Class XII and wife of David Mayo, found herself in a pinch one day at the Int Base. The auditing machine at Int was nowhere near as formed up as at Flag or even a Class V Org (which is a story in itself) and she did not have access to a C/S when she needed one. So, she took on the C/S hat herself and C/Sed one of her pcs for an action, did the session and everything came out alright. Later on, LRH found out that Merrill had C/Sed a session even though she was not a trained C/S. He sent David Mayo a very stern warning that any person who C/Sed an action for which they were not trained and certified would be comm eved and lose all their auditor certs. Merrill got off with the warning as LRH evidently felt that he had not made the point forcefully enough in HCOBs and PLs in the past.

    Fast forward to Flag, autumn 1995. His Exalted Nuttiness, the Pope of Scientology, who was a Class IV auditor, had not audited since the 1970s and was never C/Sed trained, waves his mighty pen after looking in on one of Lisa McPherson’s sessions and a drama that ends tragically for many ensues. Compare that to what Merrill did in a pinch for one of her pcs. DM is SOOOOO convinced of his infallibility that he thinks nothing of jumping in to meddle in anyone else’s business and anyone even remotely connected to his sphere of influence invariably suffers for it. To this day, I will bet anything that DM is still utterly convinced that his meddling in Lisa’s case was absolutely spot on and it was everybody else who messed it up. His insane computations aside, poor Lisa McPherson became the poster child for the harm that his arrogance inflicts.

    You can add Paul Schobel to the list of fine people broken by the Lisa tragedy, Schoebs was at Flag on a Tech Mission of some sort in late 1995 and actually took Lisa in session during some part of her saga. Later in the year, he was sent back to Gold in disgrace, busted off tech lines and basically given the standard DM treatment for anyone who had fallen out of disfavor for attempting to sabotage His Arrogance. A couple years later Schobel had a quadruple bypass, his health continued to decline (he had a chronic bad kidney condition) and he was sent back to Australia where he could get free health care so he would be a further burden on Gold FP. Being sent away from Gold was his death sentence and he was so broken by it that he would not even say good-bye to his many, many friends before he left.

  72. charentonne

    Alain was a great Auditor and CS, a wonderful being.
    He has been destroyed by DM, and it’s a real crime.
    I always think about Alain with great admiration.

  73. Kevin Tighe

    Somehow Alain made it back into BC course room to study. He’d sit away from others and was dressed in clothes that one would do mest work in. I think it would be fair to say he looked sad. I didn’t know what happened with him and of course could not talk to him or if I did he what would I say? Anyway it was akward for me as he had helped me many years back when I had previously walked away from the Church in the mid 1980s. So sad. And to think that Richard Reiss also died of cancer. Sigh.

  74. I’ve been off the Bridge for 10 years. I guess I should consider myself lucky.
    I paid for my OTVI and VII package in L.A., then moved to Clearwater to start my services. First thing, I’m told I have to buy some more “setup” auditing (which I did). Next thing I know, I’m being told I’m possibly not clear
    and wound up wasting an entire intensive objecting. Next, the auditor starts running NED on me! Well, it took practically tearing the auditing room apart before they relented and was finally allowed to go on to my eligibility. That took a couple of intensives and I was C/Sed to attest. (Thursday just before 2:00). I sat there waiting to attest until the new week started and was told the RTC rep wanted me to continue my eligibility and I needed to buy more intensives. That was the last time I was on services.

  75. HannibalTheFirst

    It is mind boggling how a clique of insane people around DM is able to put a group of well-intended people into fear and drive them to the most out ethics and counter survival actions.
    The parallels to the Nazi system are just amazing. Like the Nazis the Sea Org promotes a highest believe that justifies all means. For the Nazis it was the “purity of the Arian race” that required the removal of gypsies, Jews and other undesirables from the gene pool and the acquisition of land for the “Arian people”. For the Sea Org “saving the planet” requires to expel anybody who is not in agreement with church doctrines and justifies to rape, pillage and destroy parishioners to acquire posh luxurious real estate.
    Disabling any independent justice system was one of the first steps for the Nazis on their way to power. With no justice system in place they could implement a system of terror, threat and fear to get everybody in line and under control as there was no place for protection. The alternatives for anybody with a different view often became death (socially or physically) or silence. Many historians cite the depressed economic situation and the hardship large portions of the German population were enduring as one key factor for the Nazis rise to power.
    All Scientology Justice is completely disabled and non in existence. Replaced by a system of arbitraries like verbal declares, no due process and certain people exempt from any type of Justice and Ethics. Kind of like the “Totenkopf SS” that were above any law in Nazi Germany. And like in Nazi Germany dissenters have the choice between silence or death. (Taking away their eternity or destroying their livelihood.) So really today’s top Sea Org is not so different from the Nazi SS. They even both love fancy uniforms and a brazen attitude. And they are above the law (policy), while they enforce any SP declare grimily and follow up with Facebook Nazis and disconnection police, they completely ignore other policy as the complete Scientology justice and ethics system.
    The only real difference that I can easily make out is that the 1940 Nazis had machine guns in their hands, while the 2012 Nazis fumble around with Golden Rods.
    But here is the thing that stubs me above all. Germans had no LRH, no data on Ethics no technology and were overtaken by the Nazi Ideology. Too bad many did not have enough humanity to stop that insane regime and the few that did were killed early on. Here is the Sea Org, equipped with common sense in LRH admin know how, ethics, Scientology Justice and a working spiritual technology, and they allow an insane clique to destroy the purpose, the technology and the people and convert the Sea Org to a suppressive Nazi like organization that rules with fear and makes the Lisa McPherson death possible.
    The Sea Org obviously failed LRH. Why?
    Although I have never been in the Sea Org it appears to me it all starts with the failure of individuals in the Sea Org to take responsibility and insist upon their own rights to live and work in an environment and under conditions that allows them to function at a high rational level and maintain their mental and physiological stability. Debbie Cook wrote she was only able to sleep every second night. Kristina Royce told about sleep deprived OTVII that were not able to go into session. For some reason Sea org staff seem to have snapped into a “Save the planet- sacrifice myself” type of A=A insanity. Once you let yourself mentally unsettle by lack of sleep and lack of nutrition you are easy prey for a suppressive.
    In war one tactic was to rob the enemy of sleep through constant nightly harassment to break them down. Why in the world would any good sensible person agree to sleep deprivation on a constant basis?
    The only way I can understand this catastrophic failure of the Sea Org is that Sea Org staff get brought into agreement with same kind of “Self Sacrifice” implant. And of course, if you are self-sacrificing it is completely OK to crash reg the public in front of you and strip him of his house, 401k and any other money he/she may have. At least you are doing the right thing “self-sacrificing” yourself. That makes Sea Org staff so much more ethical than other human beings at least those can pay.
    Self-sacrifice is dead wrong. – To me, this is a big personal overt and a major out ethics. First and foremost you have responsibility for yourself, your own sanity and stability. From that safe point you can start working on saving others. If the people in the whole had one overt, than it was the overt not taking care of themselves.
    There are other factors, but I always felt that that this “self-sacrifice” insanity is at the root of the problem.

  76. Anyone who stays in this crazy Church in completely in danger of their lives-literally. So many have already died.Death by erosion of the soul.

  77. Philip,
    Doing Dianetics after Clear is suppressive out tech. It is FORBIDDEN expressly, for very, very, very good reason. I can attest to that. I can also attest to the incredible relief of handling that charge. That relief came from STANDARD TECH. This BDCI stuff is from the depths of hell and it is without question one of the most suppressive bits of shit this peckerhead has come up with, to say nothing of how he butchered NOTs in the first place to then drive the nails in further with a BDCI.

  78. I also witness abuse on CS lines regarding myself on overun on sec checks Going nearly mad. and no thanks to the WDC as it was known then along with the rest who were busy going about screwing those around who were upstats/ Heber at my neck and the GO threating . Myself having to witness two public that went to Flag going Type 111 whilst there, and being left to defend themselves , and me if I had not approached the cabin of hearing screams for help god knows what would have happened, luicky last minute actions to get the women away from the base into hosiptal care, and back home I think they would have had a major flap .Myself being butchered around like a peice of meat. Escaping away in the middle of the night out side of FSO to ask a hotel to allow me make a tel call to a person I knew near Orlando to borrow me some money to get the hell out of there, If she haven’t helped me , I’d be a flap for Dm and the rest, and would have been left for dead ,Leaving as it was Nearly insane , its a wonder I am not insane . I escaped thank god . No Thanks to WDC RTC/ and DM ‘s as first what it was known then. Plus His hetchmen who are inculded in the contribution of threats given towards me by them on Dm’s behalf and help towards my feeling of going insane.knowing what is known now The dictator and Suppressor was DM, the others acted on his orders unknowning to be PTS to Him and / or/ dramatizatising his behaviour at the time.

  79. Thank you Mike and Marty for your further clarification. A couple of years after doing OT VIII (1989 – second batch after Maiden Voyage) and going back to the Ship with the rest of the OT VIIIs for patch up, clean up, fix up several times …

    I had a serious breakdown. If not Type III, the next closest thing 🙂 — it wasn’t pretty. The year was sometime 1992 — approximately THREE years BEFORE Lisa McPherson had her breakdown.

    While I had been at the Base for about a week or so, but not getting auditing, I was soon living off the base and not allowed ON the base per LRH advices. Rightly so.

    Thanks to Debbie Cook who arranged for me to have auditing OFF the base with my dear friend and auditor Cheryl (WHERE IS CHERYL — she is SERIOUSLY MISSING – no one at FLAG except her husband seems to even remember/know who she is). I guess I was sufficiently destimulated to be able to receive the Introspection RD.

    I have no idea who the senior CS was but since I was OT VIII probably Alain or perhaps Richard. In any case, although at the time I didn’t miraculously recover from the rundown — probably because the environment I was living in was still highly enturbulative and upsetting — I did recover and was shortly afterwards able to live on my own.

    Fearfully but alive and on my own.

    I shudder to think what could have happened had miscavige been directly on my lines. Everything Marty says about thinking “I am THE only one who is soooo messed up, I will never recover and since scientology is my only hope — I’m doomed for eternity”. That was precisely my mind set.

    EXCEPT for one thing — I’ve always been just a tad bit too bossy and ultimately strong willed to completely roll over and die 🙂

    I will always be thankful to Cheryl for her willingness to take her lunch hour (ha) and help me. Any information about Cheryl (formerly Liccardi and currently married to an IAS reg from Germany or somewhere European) would be appreciated.

    Just thought I’d confirm everything you both shared. Black Dianetics can and does destroy and OTVIII from the onset was missing some vital parts and is now even more messed up – or so I’ve heard.


  80. Jethro,
    I have witnessed the same thing, miracles produced by a STANDARD Introspection RD. The being comes out of the experience and has bested it, with a whole new future ahead of them.

  81. Yikes!!! George, get in comm and if this isn’t sorted out at this time, well mate, let’s get’er done 🙂

  82. Haydn,
    In Debbie Cook’s initial email she alluded to the single isolated and very case specific CS that seems to be the altered importance that is used to carry out a number of these Clear cycles. And in that one CS, for a particular case, the handling was done SOLO.

    DM is an SP squirrel, whole track implanting dweeb, cluster-fuck. This sort of revelation here today tries one’s tolerance. This clinker…

  83. Even if you don’t believe in the effectiveness of any tech, the conclusion of who and what killed Lisa is obvious. The details now revealed show exactly how that happened, what pressures a cult can bring on different members, and how assumptions of infallibility are so dangerous. The more I know about Scientology, the more it resembles another dangerous cult – Aum Skinrikyo. The differences on the outside are striking, but the psychology inside is so very similar. The book Cult at the End of the World gives a good history of them, but Lifton’s book Destroying the World to Save it really deals with this level of psychological detail.

  84. Good call. Time to resume though, and this time with competent and able Tech Terminals. They are out here, you just gotta get the ball moving. Give me a mail and we’ll get you going.

  85. I briefly visited Flag in November of 1995; it was my last association with the CoS. Of course I had no idea why, but overall Flag was in a state of shock. I saw staff tones ranging from grief to fear. There was an overall feeling of doom emanating from staff there. Many were trying hard to maintain an uptone feeling but the sadness and fear pervaded. I knew only that something was wrong and that Flag could not help me.

    Now I know what it was all about. That year was really the end of Flag, the year Flag went down like the Titanic. It is a great tragedy.

  86. Thanks Dan,

    You brought up a good contrast on qulifications. Didn’t DM invent the gang bang sec check as well?

    I didn’t know about the incident with Merrill. She basically was my Qual terminal 79-82 and audited me through all the expanded grades, purif which came out at the time, Clay Table processing part of KTL which was hot off the press and helped me get through Solo through OT III which I am forever grateful to her and Shoebs one of those who also helped me as one of the most valuable beings helping others.

  87. Good post Marty. You have filled in many of the blanks on Lisa’s demise at the incompetent and evil hands of Miscavige.

    On a lighter note. Great post title. Really good timing on turning those thumb screws on DM. :>) This post may give him an embolism. So sad. :>(

  88. This entire situation with Lisa was murder in my estimation. You have people running around with absolutely NO Personal Integrity whatsoever not-ising what the hell is in front of them because they are afraid of a bully! Then you have an untrained bully csing a case he knows nothing about. How many other have you murdered DM? You need to be brought up on charges and spend the rest of your life in cell underground. Anyone, staff or public continuing to be a part of this suppressive group have earned their place in a cell next to DM.

  89. wh,
    I don’t mean this to be trivial, but I understand exactly what you mean by too strong willed to just “roll over and die”. I have had my own experience of crushing BPC, enough to bow the back, to say nothing of changing my ideas. But, behind all that charge, there was me, still not willing to give up and with that last bit of free theta, I began the climb out.

    I am so very glad you persisted here, now. Thank you.

    P.S. I may have received a mail from you recently on joining up to a program. I am not in that particular internet service, but couldn’t respond to you on it, if it was indeed you.

  90. One can get into trouble for failing to report a known crime.

  91. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate setting the record straight, Marty and Mike. I can remember dreaming what life will be after the McPherson case, that it can only get better. Only, I did not realize that one has to get out for anything to get better. And to add, I did time with Alain Kartuzinski in the RPF and consider him a friend. May he fly in peace.

  92. HTF,
    I think you are correct about the self-sacrifice aspect to it. When I was in the S.O. I used to justify my neglect of personal enhancement as long as I felt I was contributing to the goal of Scientology. And by the way, I loved the uniform for that same reason.

  93. A woman died. And you’re squabbling over who used “the tech” right.

    She’s dead and no one was held accountable. How can you sleep at night being culpable to a murder?

  94. I had the Black Dianetics Clear Invalidation rundown at Flag in 2001. It took 11 weeks to do it. Much of what I was doing, I now realize was sec checking in disguise. I had begun to think that there was no solution to my obviously messed up case and I would “be fucked up forever.” At the end of the 11 weeks, I was so grateful to have any answer that I accepted the pronouncement that I was not clear. To add icing to the cake, they made me use up my time getting Dianetics auditing – to “prove to me that I could run Dianetics.”

    Thankfully, independence from the church – and a trip to Marty – restored my clear status and my certainty, and my future, and reminded me that auditing, when done right, works.

    Reading this information from Mike and Marty helps to make sense of it all and connect the dots on the whole picture. There were so many people at Flag getting CCRDs at the same time I was there and almost every one was told they were not clear and made to audit on Dianetics. You could see people caving in all around, people giving up or giving in and just going along. I was never so glad to leave a place in my life.

  95. I think Marty meant “the 70s”. (correct me if I’m wrong, Marty).

  96. Perfect sum up Dan.

    DM is SOOOOO convinced of his infallibility that he thinks nothing of jumping in to meddle in anyone else’s business and anyone even remotely connected to his sphere of influence invariably suffers for it. To this day, I will bet anything that DM is still utterly convinced that his meddling in Lisa’s case was absolutely spot on and it was everybody else who messed it up.

    He believes with all his heart that he is more intelligent than any other person in Scientology — probably than any person on earth. He believes it is his inalienable right to dictate anything and everything in his sphere of knowing. This arrogance even manifests itself in the court cases he is involved with. And if his dictates turn out to be a disaster, he always has an array of scapegoats from which to choose.

    He is the only person I have met that is utterly convinced that he has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

    His self-described position as the Pope of Scientology suits him just fine. He gets to be infallible without the need for any “Christian turn the other cheek” humility. As Mel Brooks said “It’s good to be the King.” But it does really suck to be Miscavige. What a sad, tortured life to lead.

  97. An accurate label for DM?? Well, I think he should be called ‘Teflon Dave’ because nothing seems to stick…

    He seems to get away with things because he says (figuratively) ‘I’m not to blame because it was the people I trusted to take care of things that screwed things up’. Well if you are in charge you carry the can for the people YOU trusted to do your bidding in my book.

    As for being guilty of’whole track implant’ crimes, as a non-scientologist (but with an open mind) I really couldn’t say, but why the hell not! Hang ’em and hang ’em high.

  98. Hi Jim —

    Re: particular internet service — blush — I re-joined it because I wanted specifically to get the email address of an old friend (still a kool aid drinker) so I could email him about what is going on.

    Not knowing much about this internet social/working network when I went to click for ONE request for connection — it sent it to my ENTIRE email list — including my own brother — who said much the same as you.

    Yes — it was me — but not my usual bright, witty, wise self — the me that is an internet/computer complete idiot 🙂 —- sorry …

    (I did however connect with a few on this blog and for that I’m very grateful for my idiocy)

  99. Yes, except that applying ‘squirrel tech’ to a victim is not a known crime in US statutes presumably…

  100. Jim,

    By 2004 Miscavige was telling entire audiences they weren’t Clear. As in “most of you in this room think you are Clear, I can tell you, you are not!” type r-factors. I know, I was present at one that took place in the UK in 2004. Some eighty souls were present.

    Plus the Senior C/S AOSUK, lately returned from his training at Flag at that time, returned with his instructions from RTC on Clear. He briefed me at great length on what COB had “found” regarding Clear — the 7 arbitrary points.

    I have mentioned above before but it bears repeating.

  101. Jim,
    Thanks for the ack. I will be contacting you as soon as my 2-D gets all her ducks in a row.

  102. I don’t believe the Pope ever completed an internship for Class IV ad St. Hill or anywhere else. His certs would have been long expired even in ’95.

  103. Man, these stories and realities you guys have experienced. Holy crap!

    May the truth become known to all, Marty and Mike.

    This is heavy stuff.

    Miscavige needs to go to jail. End of story

    I hope the appropriate legal entities are part of the secret onlookers on this blog.

    Game on as far as I’m concerned, for the sake of Lisa’s family.

    Bring this guy down, before he hurts any more people.

  104. And Jim — thank you for the very kind acknowledgement — I’m so glad I am feisty and so happy to be here.


  105. Jethro Bodine

    Exactly. The Introspection Rundown works when done STANDARDLY.

    Also, regarding the destimulation step, I actually will give the LRH quotes from the HCOB (“THE INTROSPECTION RD”):

    “0. On a person in a psychotic break isolate the person wholly with
    all attendants completely muzzled (no speech).
    00. Give vitamins (B complex, including niacin) and minerals
    (calcium and magnesium) to build the person up.”

    With someone in a psychotic break, it is necessary to isolate the
    person for him to destimulate and to protect him and others from
    possible damage. While in isolation the person receives the Introspection RD done flawlessly on a shortsession basis, gradiently winning and gaining confidence. Between sessions the muzzled rule is in force. No one speaks to the person or in his hearing.”

    So obviously one would not keep a person in a restimulative environment or being handled/audited by restimulative terminals, as that would just be out tech and the Introspection Rundown would not get the desired result of extroversion:

    “The end phenomena of the Introspection RD is the person extroverted, no longer looking inward worriedly in a continuous self-audit without end.”

    “The EP on a person in a psychotic break is the end of the psychotic

    “The RD is very simple and its results are magical in effectiveness. Flubs can wreck it so don’t permit them.”

  106. There will be a tipping point, then all will become known. Responsible good people who out number the bad will build what should have been.

  107. All I want is some reaction from that prick dwarf on stiletto heals David Miscavige or “extraordinary” PR liar Kathy True, but probably not because David Miscavige is by now scared to the bone and drunk like a skunk.

    I would like to know how scared is David Miscavige by now?

    Is he aware that every new day (new blow, new blog, new news report) bring him more and more misery and unrest (not to mention his tick tock tick tock way to the courtroom).

    I wonder: What skeletons in the closet will pop out tomorrow from DM’s closet?

    Don’t you all?


  108. In the Church of Scientology, David Miscavige’s Command Intention and verbal data are senior to the Auditor’s Code, the Code of Honor, and every LRH HCOB…. and a Class XII Snr CS is so caved in that he doesn’t have the gumption or integrity to say boo. Did Alain get anything at all out of his years of study and training? How can anyone stand up to this, if he could not?

  109. happybaby89

    Marty you are absolutely correct in connecting the whole thing to the RTC Reps. Sometime in the mid 90s I spent about 2 hrs I the SnrC/S FSO office and I saw some pure madness. Richard Reiss was on the phone throughout the entire time with what sounded like one of the RTC reps saying yes Sir about every 30 seconds. I was not tech trained but such basic outness was clear even to me. It was an environment where C/Sing could not possibly get done.

    Reply ↓

  110. It seems to me that the MISSED WITHHOLD of David Miscavige’s re: his destruction of Lisa McPherson has much to do with just how dramatically insane he is now. I mean, I knew him somewhat up through the mid-90’s and he certainly was not as visibly insane and destructive as he later became. But the Lisa McPherson death and subsequent criminal investigation, civil suit and accompanying media, protests, the Lisa McPherson Trust must have been mega, never-ending, ongoing and worsening Missing of his Withhold that just went on day in, day out for year after year. I don’t have exact dates, but the settlement of the McPherson case was around the same time that the Hole was started. And the beatings had already started in this time period. Miscavige being able to protect his withhold throughout the whole McPherson flap was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him case-wise. It must the Mother of Chains of Misses of a WH. And now everyone in the Church to one degree or another suffers from his dramatizations of this huge MWH.

  111. one of those who see

    A Class XII doing laundry. Another product in the world of David Miscavige. Sorry to hear he then died of cancer. Hey Alain, thank you for doing all that training and for all the auditing and C/Sing you did. You are welcome here among the free Scientologists if you would like to get back in the game. You will be valued, respected and loved here.

  112. I have tender memories of Alain K.
    He was a gentle soul.
    He came from a wealthy French family and actually could have left
    the insanity but he hung on in there because he loved lRH and the tech.
    Alain was an interne under me for Class XI, XI and XII and took my post as the Class XII CS when I was ordered to run around a pole for 12 hours a day
    in Clearwater sun (summer) in the RPF as punishment for months.
    This was the first time I saw the darker side of the Church. It was torture.
    The punishment was a a trumped up charge:
    “I was funnelling Class XIIs out of the FSO” was the reason I was RPFd.
    As mentioned yesterday Mike Rinder was able to heal this agonized part of my time track with some great comm cycles. Sites like this too help in healing the “valley of the shadow of death” Sea Org atrocities.
    Alain died of cancer but surely of a broken heart.
    He became a non-person after some 25 years of SO service til his death.
    No acknowledgement, no recognition in any magazine or website, I did not ever hear that there was a funeral service.
    More on David Miscavige auditing/CSing in another post later today.

  113. What I have noticed is one for one those who did not get trained be it auditor training, admin training or ethics training and just got the auditing ended up and are still ending up unstable. There is just no foundation from which to build any stability.To hold a position, in my opinion comes from training. I know of several families who are falling apart. Their answer…here audit my child. Well hello… what about using some ethics or pts tech. In looking back there were many “bigtime” (considered) FMS who would go after the money and the money was in the auditing not the training and look at that result!

  114. martyrathbun09

    That is why he loves me while he is trying to kill me.

  115. Mike and Marty,
    I am agog.
    It is true.
    I know this.
    I experienced the very frightening effects of being told not Clear, after being told Clear in both a standard DCSI in 1981 and CCRD in 2004 at ASHO, and having Black Dianetics forced upon me.
    The obvious reads on the CCRD were felt and understood by me, being a competent Solo I auditor. The persistent F/n and then, Floating TA, which resulted from this utterly SIMPLE procedure, made me believe, “We should never have to revisit this subject again or make me doubt i’ve reached it”.
    After 20 intensives of bullshit to keep me off the Bridge and never make it onto the OT levels after trying to get on for 3 decades, I am now here.
    I can’t wait to read your book, Marty.
    What you have written here is murder and horrible. It never should have happened to that poor girl.
    I look forward to doing the real OT levels in the Independent field, under competent C/Sing.

  116. Ronnie Bell

    Thanks, Tony. No, it’s never been sorted out, although Dallas org did attempt a ‘handling’ on me sometime last year. I banged around like a pinball for years after the ASHO auditing fiasco. I think I’m still suffering from something that happened there. Life has been nothing but a constant struggle since that action.

    Getting back to battery is one of my first orders of business on the real Bridge.

  117. Mike/Marty, as you may recall, Lisa was a friend of mine from Dallas days, and she called me weeks or a month or two before her death, to apologize and get back in touch for her disconnection from me, spurred on by Benetta Slaughter. I was neither declared or in bad standing, but I was out of favor. I can visualize her in the FH, frantic, over the edge, and Flag staff trying to shut her up so that this did not Flap on DMs lines … i can so see that.

    Also, in the 80’s I considered Alain a friend, but no contact other than passing hellos when I became public at Flag in the 90s.

    This comes to another point, where does “following orders” and “victim” start and stop, versus personal responsibility. That there are Flag policies that no one type III can get help there, or anyone that could go into that range is not allowed on base is both inhuman, and an admission that not everyone can be helped by their application of the tech.

    Biggi Reichart.

    Where does personal responsibility start? How is self preservation in any way superior to doing the right thing? How much of a free lunch should people be allowed for following orders? Who is the victim, who is the criminal, who is responsible?

    In the real world, especially with first class moral companies and major corporations such as J&J, the head considers themselves responsible for the actions of the group, they are responsible for the culture that dictates the actions. DM himself has put himself here but tries to make the problems dissapear. But what about the people in the middle, those that hurt others on orders, or for self preservation … where is their responsibility in this grey morass? I have been out for a decade, I still battle with this almost daily.

  118. Yep, I ran around the post too, but only for 5 hours a day. They needed me back on post in the afternoon since I was the only one qualified to sup the KTL course. So, I was running as an “ethics handling” but not so “CI”
    that I couldn’t sup.

  119. windhorse,
    “OT VIII (1989 – second batch after Maiden Voyage)”

    I was in the same OTVIII group. We were probably in the same course room.
    When Miscavige ordered me back to Flag for the Solo Nots Certainty course, I told him to go to hell. It was very easy to do that for me because I met him on the Freewinds, and he acted like a “wooden Indian”. He seemed to me like a lost little boy. I could not imagine in my wildest dreams that he could ever be the leader of a religion. I started my decompression in 1989 with St. Francis(Ode to the Sun) and St. Augustine’s City of God

    Much metta,
    George M. White

    PS I have been blocked from this for a few weeks by password issues.

  120. Ronnie Bell

    Thank goodness I did my CCRD at Flag in 1993/94, when the worst things I experienced were, auditor falling asleep, hours miscalculated, which caused me to be off the rundown for weeks finding more money (which was already OWED to me by Flag Crew), driving off the road and nearly killing myself and my passenger, etc.

    Other than that, it was a walk in the park, and at least I obtained the certainty I was actually looking for. And the icing on the cake? Capt. Debbie Cook handed me my Clear cert at Flag graduation! 🙂

  121. Yes. Lurkers – take very good note. If you know people you care about and they are planning to go to Flag, I suggest you do anything in your power to persuade them to do otherwise. The chances of them getting anything other than black dianetics/reverse scientology are somewhere between zero and none. This is not “nice” to say but I believe necessary.

  122. How do I reach you, Jim? You were the first to acknowledge me when I appeared here. 🙂

  123. Marty is by a distance the ballsiest pluckiest being I’ve ever known, by a distance. Whatever you say about him (and some seem to have plenty to say), this much is indisputable. ” He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life”.
    Muhammad Ali

    Now, then, where’s that book. It’s Spring – I demand it!

  124. Mike,
    I’ll repeat my previous blog comment:
    ‘IMHO dm is the Shortest Suppressive Person On Planet Earth (SS-POPE)’

  125. Early ’70s and ’60s is close enough. And yes, he was a child, supposedly the youngest Class IV at the time. He is supposed to have hit one of his PCs.

    But, hey, I was an auditor as a child – nothing wrong with that as long as you are trained well and take it gradiently. I did HQS at 13, HSDC at 15 (I audited my first metered session on November 2, 1975), and a Class IV at 16.

    Kids can audit if they are trained well, and some make great auditors. I can attest to the fact that starting life off trained has helped me GREATLY.

    By the way, I never hit any of my PCs, unlike COB, and I almost Red-tagged a PC only once during my levels training (the PC pulled off an F/N, but the session was botched). That was for auditing a procedure exactly as written in a (non-LRH) BTB. I think Karen #1 was Senior C/S at CC at the time, and I think she is the one that sent me to cramming, which I am forever grateful for, because it taught me a valuable lesson: You are responsible for the tech you audit on your PC, and you have to stand up against incorrect tech, even if it is the form of “official” bulletins, as BTBs are. That one Red Tag (which I corrected on the PC the same day) has stood me in good stead. I passed my TRs certification later on by challenging Mayo’s TRs bulletins using LRH refs, and I corrected the Class VI course exam when I was flunked for “missing” a question on listing.

    This one cram taught me the value of C/S Series 1, “Auditor’s Rights.” This is an incredibly basic HCOB that apparently DM has de facto cancelled.

  126. Ronnie,
    The exact same thing happened to me.
    We are now in the only place where tech can go in standardly.

  127. It would be interesting to see the list of Clears and various other completions (from Purif to Objectives, Grades, NED, various pre-OT levels) pronounced at Flag in the last ten years and see what percentage had previously attested to those actions. Flag is one giant trap.

  128. Tony DePhillips

    Well, you are doing a pretty good full Danger condition handling so far. You found out what the dangerous situation was and now you are bypassing habits and normal routines. When you are ready there are several real good auditors that could do the correct tech handlings. The skies are clearing and you are on your way to a true win!!

  129. And he surely never did the GAT retrain 😮

  130. plainoldthetan

    Marty: good for stepping in and helping shine some light on this disgusting chapter in the RCS timeline.

  131. I sure do, Markkus. Thus I check Marty’s blog daily.

  132. LRH talked about “the joy of being eaten”.

  133. Mike, those are brave, essential and hard questions. I think these same thoughts.
    A madman needs followers to cause harm. I think that is what Marty’s blog is, in part.
    People once on the dark side and now on the light.
    The song Amazing Grace was written by a slave ship owner.
    The people on this site have moved out of the darkness.
    But sometimes the specter of shadows trail those who have been saved.
    Hopefully, these crimes and confessions will bring peace and justice to those harmed.

  134. OMG!
    Truth is such a sticky thing – you just can’t wash it off. No matter how you you mask it – it just sits there.
    The end of miscaviges reign will be one hell of a cause for celebration – it will probably be the most profound de PTSing in the history of this planet.
    Bring on the sunshine…

  135. Interesting question re responsibility. They’re all responsible for their actions. The difference is that some know it and others don’t. I think a lot lies in the area of personal integrity, Some have it and refuse to go along with DM so they leave. Others don’t have much and go along just to get along. And then some are just plain degraded beings.
    I think it’s to the point where the degraded beings are about all that’s left in that cult. To align themselves with Miscavige could they be anything else? They’re still responsible but don’t know it. They’re too degraded.

  136. Mr. David Miscavige has apparently cancelled C/S Series 1, “Auditor’s Rights” – and auditors, apparently, have stopped following it. This is such a basic thing – it goes back as far as Scientology and Dianetics have been extant.

    I just re-read it. Let’s just run it down:

    1. Auditors have a right to not accept a PC if they feel they cannot help a PC.
    2. Auditors have a right to reject a C/S (session instructions) if they feel it won’t help the PC.
    3. Auditors must not audit from a stale-dated (old) C/S. Things change.
    4. Auditors have the right to end session whenever they want to.
    5. Auditors must NEVER audit over out-Ruds (Rudiments – things that must be in place before a session can start. In this case, the PC is upset, has a problem, has a withhold that was missed. If a PC’s attention is elsewhere, auditing cannot occur).
    6. Auditors are justified in attempting to repair a PC whose ruds will not go in.
    7. Auditors should not schedule sessions too far apart.
    8. Auditors must not run things that DO NOT READ on a meter, EVEN IF C/S (or COB) tells them too.
    9. Auditors MUST NOT LIST an unreading list question. This also on the laws of listing an nulling. Pretty cussing basic.
    10. If trouble happens during listing, the Auditor is expected to repair it.

    I quote: “As it is very hard on pc to mess up a list, it is expected the auditor will handle the situation then and there with no further C/S directions.”

    11. Auditors must not audit over high TA, and MUST NOT fly ruds or run Dianetics, but must remedy as noted in the HCOB.
    12. Auditors must not “go on hoping”. Don’t throw shit at the pc hoping something sticks, but find out what is happening, and C/S for it. “An auditor does NOT [emphasis in the original] let a C/S C/S hopefully. He refuses the C/Ss until a Folder Error Summary is done and the bug found.”
    13. Auditors don’t let things be run twice – engram chains, major rundowns.
    14. Auditors do not copy session worksheets, but use originals always.
    15. Auditors need to know when ruds go out in session and how to handle.
    16. If a pc tells him that his case is not handled, the auditor should end off session and take it back to the C/S
    17. Auditors must not run a major action on a pc who is not set up for it.
    18. Auditors should reject a C/S that is counter to the pc’s program.
    19. Auditors must not interrupt a major action and do something else, but complete the major action.
    20. Auditors must NOTICE that a pc reached the End Phenomena or ability attained of the major action, and get it acknowledged – do not robotically go on because there are more things on the program.
    21. Auditors should not repair a pc who does not need repairing.
    22. Auditors must NEVER false report (lie) on worksheets.

    “INTEGRITY is a hallmark of Dianetics and Scientology” – Emphasis in the original.

    “INTEGRITY is a hallmark of Dianetics and Scientology.” – I grew up with this, people.

    23.Auditors should keep themselves cleaned up with regard to their pcs – they should get off any overts they may have against them.

    24. Auditors don’t have cases. An auditor must not run away from a pc just because HE (the auditor) is queasy about what the pc did or had done to him, or if it hits too close to home.

    THIS is why we have TR0 Bullbait, by the way. It is not there to ridicule people or to make them tractable or some such nonsense spouted by Scientology haters, but to get someone able to confront anything that sits in front of them so they can GET THE GUY THROUGH IT.

    “If breath shows on a mirror held to his face, he can audit.”

    There have been times when I went into a session with just a little bit of breath showing…

    25. Auditors have a right to know what they did wrong. Exactly. Not “YSCOHB!!!”.

    This is C/S Series 1. The first one of the series. The basic. If it weren’t so damn long you should memorize it. I violated this in my FIRST session as an auditor, and learned to love it.

    I put all this in here because LOOK AT WHAT THE CUSS HAPPENED IN LISA Mc Pherson’s CASE!

    I don’t doubt the genuineness and caring of the people who were working with Lisa, but BY GOD the people involved abdicated their positions as Scientologists – from COB on down.

  137. Claudio Lugli

    This event is an horror story.
    I beyond belief that someone that is dying is NOT immediately taken to an hospital for a proper physical treatment.
    Of course the spiritual aspect is much more important, but the person MUST be treated first.
    She trusted the persons that were taking care of her?
    Was she in a position of deciding that?
    Not at all!
    Of course the level of PTSness of the people that carried on the action because of the fear of consequences of Miscavige wrath is beyond any rationale.
    But the horror story is GOING ON NOW.
    Is STILL in full action.
    There are OTs and Clears that are subjected to REVERSE DIANETICS now.
    People are dying NOW!
    And still is the fear of consequences of Miscavige wrath that is used as a leverage to get others to act in an insane manner- people are in fear to loose their eternity – for this they are giving up their integrity and their life.
    The blanket C/Sing is the tool of the trade!
    The assasination is serial!
    David Miscavige is using Black Dianetics now and is a SERIAL KILLER.
    Is time the situation is seen in its real perspective and this post is making this happening.

  138. Wake up Tom Cruise, your BEST FRIEND is a killer machine!

  139. FormerlyFooled

    Marty, you wrote “Lisa McPherson was killed at the Flag Land Base.” Are you saying ths is where she died?

    Mike Rider said in 1997 during an interview with the German media, that “she died in a hotel room” ( which Abelson confirmed in the interview) but which he later denied, saying it was misconstrued ( and that she had died on the way to the hospital as the church stated?)

    This contradiction was discussed in the news
    When did she die?
    By THOMAS C. TOBIN St. Petersburg Times, published May 9, 1997

    CLEARWATER — Was it an honest mistake, a slip of the tongue? Or was it the naked truth, carelessly uttered on camera

    A top official for the Church of Scientology told a German television crew recently that church member Lisa McPherson died in a room at the Fort Harrison Hotel in Clearwater.

    On its face, the statement marks a major change in Scientology’s version of events surrounding McPherson’s unexplained death at age 36. It came in the presence of one of the church’s top lawyers, who agreed with it on camera.

    The new Scientology statement would mean McPherson was already dead when other Scientologists put her in a van and took her to a distant hospital — a profound departure from what church officials have said previously about the case.

    Mike Rinder, the Scientology official who made the remark, said this week it is being misconstrued. He added that the church’s account has not changed…….

  140. Pat I would have to say I agree. Hell we were both Top FSMs and saw it and could not sell it because we would not buy it and we walked!

  141. Tony Dephillips

    I acknowledged you in my mind….does that count for anything??

  142. Tony Dephillips

    Plus 1!! 🙂

  143. +1 😀

  144. eileen110clark

    Ronnie, please contact me at free.tobe07@yahoo.com, there are some things I feel we need to talk about.

  145. Tony Dephillips

    Makes sense Carol.

  146. eileen110clark

    This was sickening to read, but needed to be written. Marty and Mike you both have such courage.

    btw, this is from me, have just changed to a wordpress account.

  147. Broken pieces, dm´s end product.

  148. Yes, he did a similar briefing in Africa and I was in attendance. It was terrible timing because just 2 weeks prior I had been R-factored my next step was CCRD which blew me out of my head as a right indication with VVVGI’s. By the end of Dave’s briefing I was sure that I was NOT Clear and that attaining Clear was probably next to impossible since the whole subject had been so “messed up” which was the impression he gave us. It was a really broad and suppressively invalidative group R-factor. Part of it also implied there was no such thing as past-life Clear too.

    Thankfully Marty fixed that all up in session beautifully.

  149. “He is the only person I have met that is utterly convinced that he has never done anything wrong in his entire life.”


  150. Right on, Ingrid. LOL!

  151. J F’ing C!!!!!

  152. Tom Gallagher

    And “1984”

  153. retiredfromthechurch

    It should be made known on this blog the part Bennetta Slaughter played in the murder of her best reg.
    She could have just as easily cared for her in her vast personal lodgings.

  154. This situation that unfolded with DM acting as a C/S is telling of the sheepish nature of Sea Org Staff and the conflicts in existing policy. Because DM is higher on the Org Board, everyone must obey without question. So, nobody asks him if he has even done a C/S course. My understanding if that he trained through class lV but never even did a class lV internship. So, he walks into the C/S office and begins to bark orders. Everyone obeys, whether the guy is even a trained C/S.

    There you have it. That is a situation.

  155. Ronnie. WRITE – momrath65@yahoo.com. Back to battery is the aim of the game my new found friend.


  156. Me too, for you, and me 🙂

  157. Culpable FOR, that’s FOR. There, that’s squabbling. You self righteous, blustering fob. What the fuck do you think the opening piece is if not an accounting. Fucking, DUH!!!

  158. It was David Mayo who started the
    That was Mayo OT Preps in the 80’s

  159. Being in the right place at the right time is a talent. 🙂

  160. When Richard and I were routing out of the SO back in 2004, we were told to stay in the Qual area in the Sandcastle while waiting for our Sec-Checks. One day, Ted Palmer showed up to do a cram (he was an AO NOTs auditor at the time). He needed to be checked out on Auditor’s Rights and he asked me if I would check him out on it. During the check-out, he sat back and said that THIS is THE bulletin he needed to have on hand so what happened would never happen again. Then he told me that he had been doing a six-month sec check on a person on OT VII and she finished up pretty quickly. He ended session and sent her to the examiner, thinking all was well. Then he got an order to take her back into session, which at first he refused to do, but he finally gave in and took her back into session to disastrous results. He told me that it was a senior exec who ordered him to take her back in session, because it was Thursday and they needed this to happen to make sure the stat was up (I don’t know if it was for money or hours, maybe both). He was so mad at himself for finally agreeing to take her back into session and swore to himself that he would never do that again. I think he said he was going to carry that bulletin around in his back pocket from then on.
    A couple years later, I heard from a friend that Ted Palmer was no longer working as an auditor and was then on the post of Advanced Letter Reg, if I remember correctly. Just recently, I was told by another friend who lives in CW that Ted is off post (still in SO) at some rehab center or something because he has a brain tumor! Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!!!

  161. Actually, It was my understanding he did an internship when he was 12.

    So that would put it around the 60’s.

  162. Grasshopper,
    This and your post above acknowledging the positive cram you got from Karen are both superb posts. Really superb. Thank you for them and for being an auditor.

  163. Tom Gallagher

    The ‘soul’ dies and then the body dies (prematurely). Thanks Ingrid for highlighting this point.

  164. Tom Gallagher


  165. Noah,
    Apparently a lot of people died due to out tech. We’re not “squabbling”. We’re trying to get at the facts so we can prevent this from ever occuring again.

  166. hahaha! thanks for that!

  167. Pat,
    I know people still there that are wonderful people. They just have not yet been exposed to the truth.

  168. Marty,
    this doesn’t need to be posted if you prefer that it isn’t.
    I’m newly independent and I wonder if having a large demonstration outside the Int base has ever been discussed. Something that would include Independents, non-Scientologists, anyone who is against the cult. If properly organized (no, I’m not volunteering, just speculating) could that have any kind of significant affect, what with media being notified etc?

  169. If there is a cause and effect relationship, depending on the State, some laws recognize the existence of a responsibility to report. Making curtains with draw-strings to the floor is not a known crime, so why are there warning labels about possible child strangulation on them? If you see a nurse doing medical procedures you know are not only incorrect but also dangerous, and should be done only by an MD, and do not report that, you might get in trouble – it depends on the State you live in, but in some you could get the same sentence as the hypothetical nurse. The real problem with the argument involves the possibility of government licensing of auditors, and the can of worms associated with that.

    The fact is people are slow to recognize the dramatic scope of Scn discoveries: it is accepted that ‘depression can lead to suicide’, but that ‘incorrect C/Sing can lead to such restimulation of mental mass as to occasion physical ailment and even death’ is, as you say, not widely credited as factual – but it can happen, and if you know it has happened, and fail to report that, then how responsible are you? It’s a not uncommon dilemna for MD’s: a drug can save a life if he can get the right dosage (hard to guess in some cases), but it could kill the patient if he gets the educated guess wrong; an operation would ‘save a life’ – IF the patient survives the anaesthesia (think fast!). The fact remains that if an unlicensed practitioner does the guessing, they are liable regardless of the results. If the CEO (a highly trained professional in specifically management) of a drug manufacturer were to visit one of their labs one day and bypass a PhD to order a new ingredient of his own making be added to a popular aspirin, and it killed someone … and it went to trial, AND you were there, AND did not report it?

    So what is one to do about Lisa McPherson? The burden – in spite of the can of worms – weighs towards speaking out. Scn applied correctly is very, very safe, and very, very beneficial. It can ‘immunize’ against all manner of woes, and even some physical ailments.

    Just rambling around in some thoughts ….

  170. Seeking4know

    He is a F***ing criminal and should be in jail.

  171. Yes, “Miscavige belongs in prison” and held for eternity in the hells of a magnetic mountain.

  172. Sorry for butting in with a non-sequitur, but what really slaps me in the face is that a course sup (no dispaagement – I’m not a course sup, ok?) gets five hours day because he’s needed, but a Class XII gets 12 hours? For six months? Someone is i-n-s-a-n-e from any point of view except that of an SP dedicated to attacking the most powerful and in its ‘mind’, thereby the most dangerous. Hidden terror is not so hidden. And it must be real terror. I’d scarcely heard of Alain until today – but there’s another Class XII, this one destroyed. The scope and depth of the destruction in the Co$ is amazing. It’s going to look like Berlin after WW II. If anyone hopes to get their money back, sue now – later, that money will be gone.

  173. Tom Gallagher

    David Miscavige is the ‘Ted Bundy’ of cult leaders: Death abounds.

    Isn’t the infallible sociopathic pope’s real stat straight up and vertical?

  174. martyrathbun09

    Enroute to the hospital according to those in the van.

  175. When I started up the bridge there was no such thing as checking for interest on an item. Of course the P.C. was interested in getting auditing or they wouldn’t be paying for it! I am not trained myself, but the idea of introducing questions about the interest of a P.C. seems like introducing Q and A to me. A person’s tone level might not be to interest. Then what?
    It’s like asking the P.C. to run part of the session or C/S it from his own point of interest. Iran all the lists whether they read or not and I am assuming they all read. Because I had something to say about it all.

  176. Exposed to the truth? All they have to do is look. The truth is right there in front of them. I saw it in 1998 and I walked away. There was no blog and no major articles to refer to.
    There comes a point where the reasonableness has to end.

  177. I guess they waited for someone to give them orders to take her to the hospital. That is how low it becomes in that group. You don’t make decisions based on common sense. You don’t make decisions, you let others make them for you. That in itself is a form of no responsibility.

  178. If they are there they have been exposed to the truth, everyday. this is just being reasonable. Personal Integrity is out!

  179. It’s a 2-edged sword that our society-at-large would not recognize that such damage could be done by mis-auditing and/or CS’ing. And that it has not become the criminal act that it deserves. Miscarriage is in fact a criminal murderer.

  180. Phil de Fontenay


    Beat the crap out of someone! 🙂

  181. akismet-9a52a74b0acb334aca0db18bf581530f

    Thank you for posting this. For years I have known that this tragedy was due to out tech. I am glad that you have confirmed this

  182. That last line blew me away man:

    “David Miscavige has been doing little else since than attempting to prove himself right by imposing on all Scientologists that which he already imposed on Lisa McPherson.”.

    That really seems like truth to me. It explains a lot.

  183. Richard Royce

    I have been reading “My Big Toe” (my theory of everything), By Thomas Campbell and he makes the point that in the physical universe only the action, for what ever reason or intention, is the important thing. This is where we get the idea that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. When you are talking about survival of the life form or species the only thing that matters is you or your progeny beat the opponent and survive. You could beat out your opponent for greed, avarice, just the good old evil intention to harm him for your own sexual thrill or other sensation. What matters is did you beat him? This is the way the MEST universe works. Your genes get to multiply and your team gets to procreate.

    The totally opposite is true of the Theta universe. There, we are doing a totally different thing. We are evolving spiritually. We are becoming more conscious and we are becoming more able. In this universe intention is everything. We are evolving to a higher state, the highest being unconditional love.

    I have been trying to come to grips with the disconnection of my three sons, Conan, Jamie and Devin. Have I made the right choice, opening my mouth about what I perceive to be injustice and the hijacking of the Church by someone who is destroying the gift LRH gave to mankind? If I had just shut up and kept to myself my disagreements I would still have the pleasure of playing with my grandson Khaelen Beau, Devin and Nadine, of visiting with Conan and Suzi and have the very occasional visit and phone calls from my Sea Org Son Jamie.

    My major thrust besides art this lifetime has been the increasing of my consciousness. I gave up a career in medicine to follow the non renumerative path of art (a consiciousness activity) and when I found Scientology I added that path to my life.

    A key aid to spiritual growth in Scientology is the Code of Honor. “Your integrity is more important than your life” was always one of the points that I thought , “well that’s pretty cool” but…

    Today I really got the above point on the code. Your life is the MEST universe. LRH clearly pointed out that your intentions are more important than your life. Your spiritual growth is more important than what happen here on Earth.

    The reason I decided to stand tall and be counted as an Indi is because I realized that if I buckled and did the A to E I would perhaps have been able to get the goodies of this life, meaning have the children in my life, but in the long run I would have been doing enormous harm to them by condoning what I have come to see as EVIL. When the kids finally come to their senses and see the Out Tech, Injustice, Squirrel Policy, Distruction of what LRH spent his life putting there to free mankind and putting in it’s place slavery, my kids would look on me as a collaborator as in the after 2ww period in France. They would look on me with derision: as the coward I would have been, as the assister, the enabler, to the arch suppressive of this day in our group.

    By taking my stand I am living LRH’s code of honor point: that my integrity is more important than my life! By holding my position on the ramparts I am not enabling my boys to continue their slavery. Perhaps they will question how could their parents whom they have known their whole life to be of good will, how could they hold that position now? Could there be something I should look at? That is my hope.
    In any case I know I have become more conscious in the process.

  184. Freedom Fighter

    Wow, wow!! Holy shit, wow!!! This completely sorted out a piece of the timetrack for me. I went Clear on the NED DRD years ago and it went unacknowledged despite 2 CCRDs. I then requested FPRD because of the cog I’d had on the NED DRD because I wanted to prevent things from happening again (those of you who are Clear know what I’m talking about). Mid the FPRD, I started having some physical problems (duh) and was then run on more NED to handle it. I spun in and I REALLY started having some physical issued that later ended me up in surgery. After the physical stuff really kicked in, I got even more NED (brother!). I finally decided I’d had enough and got out, but the damage had already been done. I did finally get my Clear state acknowledged after I got out, but this post helped unravel the events preceding that. Whew!!

  185. Phil de Fontenay

    LOL! At first glance I thought you were stating the quantity of how many David Miscavige murdered ~lol

  186. It should be called Church of Sacrifice.

  187. I knew Lisa McPherson well. We both started in 1991 at AMC Publishing, owned at that time by Jeff Schaffner & Bennetta/David Slaughter. We were kindred spirits, both in Div 6 at the org in Dallas — She was the PCS and I was her junior.

    So we worked together selling all day long, then worked the foundation shift at the org. Every night we would do Upper Indoc TRs — look at the wall, walk over to that wall, touch that wall, turn around — until we both became known as the ‘girls that could make a gorilla lay down their fire arms in the middle of the Interstate freeway.’

    Lisa was my son’s god-mother. So I know this being extremely well. She was quite a talented sales person and we both together made a kick-ass team at the org — we would go out and body-route folks into the org, sell books, had the highest ever in BIS for Div 6 — We were kicking some major butt and the org has never done better than during this time frame.

    In December 1993, we all moved to CW. Bennetta presented the game to us for us all to get onto OT 7. We were all in the Clear area, so it became a wonderful game to play. I was over the moon to be on 7, so I played like a crazy woman making more $$ than anyone in the company, as I really wanted it.

    That Christmas, 1993, 14 of us packed up everything we owned, our husbands/spouses quit their jobs and we all moved to CW. Of course, Flag was excited and Bennetta had put $$ on account for all of us so that she would have a tether on us w/regards to owning us. And trust me, she did a fabulous job of that.

    Lisa was particularly in like tight with Bennetta. But when we got to CW, the game @ AMC changed, as there was a larger pool of Scn for sales reps than there was in Dallas. She pretty much had the creme of the crop there, but 4 months after we arrived, Bennetta put out a policy to lower our commission from 15% to 10%.

    The core group of sales reps were Lisa, Brenda Hubert Spencer and me. We had all had shit-fit as this was penalizing upstats among many other infractions — and negated some of the promises to get us to CW.

    That was the beginning of the demise. I protested like no one else — just would not let up, all the while, not one of us ever had a moment to even think about getting on course or getting any auditing. It was a very fucked up policy that Bennetta Slaughter ran on us.

    She was a slave driver in all sense of the word — and yes, the ONLY policy that she used religiously was conditions. We wrote condition and o/w’s on everything from why the wind blew from the north. It was insane, that we all just kept a template saved in our computer, so that we could just whip out the condition write-up for whatever crazy-ass thing she asked for.

    So yes, Bennetta had Lisa writing o/w’s all the while she would be receiving auditing and Lisa began to slip like crazy away from the insouciant being that I had always known and loved.

    Bennetta Slaughter is back of all this. She was always meddling or trying to meddle in all our auditing actions — offering her know-best viewpoint, but I was always the bull in the china cabinet, and I was the one that marched my butt into Sonja Jacques at Flag and demanded that the $$ that Bennetta had put on account for me, be removed and put back on the AMC account.

    I never had a moment to use any of it, never was sessionable, never had a minute to wash my other pair of panties, so I certainly did not need $20K or more sitting there, with the expectation that every pay day I was to pay back some of it — that was b.s.

    So, just know, that the full story of the involvement of Bennetta Slaughter in all of this Lisa debacle has yet to be made known. I was the first to leave the rat’s nest at AMC Publishing, and was not there in December 1995 when Lisa dropped her body.

    She was a very talented being — much loved by all, great advocate of LRH and just wanted more than anything, for everyone to love her. She sought that love from Bennetta, but Bennetta turned (or was from the start) traitor in her.

    As time rolls along, more will come out…. my 2 cents for now.

  188. Ronnie Bell

    Much appreciated, Tony. I’m just glad that I was built sorta tough to begin with. If I were any thinner as a being, I don’t know if I would have made it or not. I’ve always been the type to go my own way, and select my own decisions. I’ve taken flak for that my whole life, but maybe being the black sheep type just toughened my hide.

    You’re right about the skies clearing. Since being out, I’ve discovered that the finest tech terminals on the planet are on the outside in the free air. Just realizing that, gave me a tremendously brighter outlook for my Bridge prospects. Thank you!

  189. Hi George —

    We might have been in the same course room BUT miscavige was never on the ship when I was there — whew

    I comped in Feb ’89 I think

    In case OSA has ANY doubt as to who I am — oh — they know who I am – they’ve created my own page on one of their sites — nice to know I matter


  190. Ronnie Bell

    Eileen, thanks for catching up with me tonight. Your words of kindness, and the fact that you and others really did care what was happening to me, means the world to me.

    I can’t thank you enough for that. It helped lift something off me tonight.

  191. Ronnie Bell

    Hi Jim,
    I’ll take you up on that offer to communicate. It’s an offer I can’t resist. Email coming tonight. Thank you!

  192. Ronnie Bell

    I guess that makes us fellow invalidees, eh? 😉

    Thanks for that testimony. It really does help.

  193. Is that when you got into Scientology, in 1998? I’m assuming that you started then because you say that’s when you left. If not, I guess you were being reasonable in greater or lesser degree.

  194. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
    That saved a wretch like me….
    I once was lost but now am found,
    Was blind, but now, I see.

    T’was Grace that taught…
    my heart to fear.
    And Grace, my fears relieved.
    How precious did that Grace appear…
    the hour I first believed.

    Through many dangers, toils and snares…
    we have already come.
    T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
    and Grace will lead us home.

    The Lord has promised good to me…
    His word my hope secures.
    He will my shield and portion be…
    as long as life endures.

    When we’ve been here ten thousand years…
    bright shining as the sun.
    We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise…
    then when we’ve first begun.

    Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
    That saved a wretch like me….
    I once was lost but now am found,
    Was blind, but now, I see.

  195. We are all guilty of that to some degree. But, what’s the point.

  196. Ronnie Bell

    Oh, hell yeah. I fight back. Always have, and always will. Gotta have the right target, though. It’s not cool to punch the innocent.

  197. Michael — I research the “flag policies” regarding Type III and illegal PCs and there is NO policy regarding Type III — rather an advice from “R” which said that people who were Type III should NOT be in the lobby of the Fort Harrison as a one or two Type IIIs were being “watched” in the lobby with watchers.

    Not conducive to anyone’s mental well being.

    This THEN became — anyone who had EVER gone TYPE III could NEVER set foot again at the Flag Land Base.

    Which I personally do not believe was LRH’s intention. He issued a telex (advice) to handle a particular situation — it became a mandate.

    Illegal PCs IS a policy but its very specific as to what constitutes an illegal PC and because of an inability of those on tech lines in RTC to duplicate — illegal PC and the Type III advice have become collapsed into ONE mandate. An Illegal PC is able to train and should be allowed on Flag lines.

    HOWEVER, the last time I research the archives and whatever those files were called (can’t remember — housed in the CB) — was mid 80’s — before I had my break. Perhaps there is LRH policy I’m unaware of.

    But I doubt it.

    In other words, what you said about no one who was in bad shape, Type III could never receive help — wasn’t true from LRH — but became true from dm.


  198. Excellent story Mark and Marty. Good to see it coming out and being discussed.

  199. ‘Auditor’s Rights’ is not included in Scientology 0-8, The Book of Basics, but there are 12, yes 12, Auditor’s Codes.

  200. Thank you, Kay. Very revealing.
    I can well imagine how you felt on hearing the news about Lisa, and the trickle of stories coming out later. My heart goes to you, Kay.

  201. No, I didn’t get in in 1998; that’s when I left. I started in 1975.

  202. Poor girl. Of all the stories this one about Lisa haunts me. I kind of feel her pain as I’ve been subjected, as a Clear, to much the same squirrel auditing in the past.

    I’m happy the rest of you made it out alive, I’m glad I made it out alive. Wherever Lisa is now, I hope she is happy.

  203. that is the point…gawd! Sounds to me like you have a blind spot in that area.

  204. I’ve never heard of any report where miscavige personally showed pity or regret over Lisa McPherson’s death, like in an announcement or statement or even a remark that has been recorded. No sense of responsibility, or ‘The buck stops here’ attitude. Just ‘pay them off and shut them up.’ A creep playing at being a big shot.

    The contrast between himself and LRH could not be greater: where LRH was hardworking, productive and driven by compassion, miscavige is an ice-cold cynic.

  205. Ronnie Bell

    From all of the reports I’ve been reading, I may have gotten in just under the wire!

  206. Ronnie Bell

    Dittos, Valkov. I wouldn’t miss a single day of the news and commentary posted here. It’s the most important information source / gathering place on the galactic internet.

  207. one of those who see


  208. Ronnie Bell

    Absolutely beautiful, Richard. That’s a pass, my friend. You’ve made it.

  209. There are two Base Flag Orders written by LRH that forbid any Type IIIs at Flag.

  210. I don’t know if I’ve ever told anyone this story – but it fits right in with this subject. I was on the Apollo in the fall of 1973 and early spring of 1974. I was a volunteer working on a project to get the financial records in order. Marty Greenberg was my senior – Mary Sue was his senior.

    Anyway, we were working in the bow of the ship and one day one of the crew went Type III and he was isolated in a small cabin right next to the room where we were working. LRH was not kidding when he said that these people can scream for days. He screamed about CIA and FIRE! FIRE! incessantly. He was actually violent at times and I had to help crewmembers subdue him once. We also had strict orders not to say anything at all to this guy and basically to keep pretty quiet.

    As far as I know, LRH was directly c/sing this guy’s handling and this is where he developed the Introspection Rundown. The handling was just as it’s been described here – destimulation, quiet, food and vitamins and very
    gentle auditing

    It’s been a long time ago, so I don’t remember how long it took, but he
    finally came out of it. I saw him some time later in line at the snack bar and he seemed like he was a lot better.

    I saw in the OODS shortly after this that he had been sent home and LRH was furious! He said he was going to send the shrinks around the block with his handling of this case. Instead, those who were in charge of this guy sent him home without consulting with LRH. LRH’s comment was that in the old days, the HGC auditors would have had no trouble confronting a case like this!

  211. Thanks, Jim – that means a lot coming from someone I respect greatly.

    Actually, rereading C/S Series 1 was a rehab for me. I remember when I decided NOT to be an auditor for a living, and it was when DM did two things: Make it a “supressive act” for an auditor to miss a withhold, and make it a requirement for auditors to write “non-actionable” KRs on the withholds pc’s got off in session. Actually, the latter is a violation of the Auditor’s code, and the former is a violation of form of the org – it is qual’s job to do corrections, not HCO’s (or the CMO, for that matter).

    But now, hell. I’ll need to figure out how to get my old Mark VI back to battery (Bob Grant, do you still remember how to clean movements? 🙂 ).

  212. Yeah – should be laminated. Better to be off post in the CofM than running pc’s to hell. I wish Ted well.

  213. Richard,
    Thank you for your honorable intention and action.

    Jim Logan

  214. There’s nothing wrong with checking interest on an item provided you are running Standard Tech. You can bet a PC will be very interested in any LFBD item, that’s for sure!

  215. Marty – option (c) in actuality now results pretty much always in a secret (whispered) declare as well. It may take a while, but it will happen.
    We are proud of ours. (only fresh – January)
    Someone close described it thusly: “I am pleased to be in possession of a formal document from the CofS that demonstrates that I am NOT a part of that criminal organization.”
    Let there be no doubt of that.

  216. Dan,
    Thanks for this mention of Paul. He was my first auditor. This was before he left Australia for INT. Wonderful insouciant guy – we had a blast for 4 intensives – just a wonderful auditor.

  217. Holy Cow, Richard, that is one impressive statement. So true.

  218. Thanks. Sweet lyrics.

  219. I am one those people you (Marty) saved from all David Miscavige’s squirrel auditing at Flag. In Jan 2000 I attested to Clear (past life Clear)at Orange County org which was way over due since 1996 when I first got in. By Sept 2001, I was called to Flag for a “Special Program”. When I arrived there, they gave me a non-Clear R-factor, I disagreed, but they kept on auditing me on NED and other little auditing programs, which took me 4 trips to Flag because I kept on disagreeing with their R-factor. Once the $60,000.00 I had on my Flag account was over, they asked for more. At that point, I decided that I was done with auditing. On my way routing out of Flag, the D-Capitan, asked me “did you get what you came to Flag for?” and I replied ” No, all I got was a waste of money and time”. She didn’t like what I said and told me that I am BI so I should stay longer to handle the ARC X. I told her, “NO! I know what I know and won’t allow anyone to tell me otherwise. I don’t think there is anything you guys can do to help me”. And made sure she signed the routing out form and I was out of there.

    Yep, all they would tell me was that “you are a difficult case”. hahahaha…
    I wasn’t a difficult case, I just didn’t put up with their BS and squirrel tech.
    Thanks to Marty for confirming my Clear State and now I am on my way up to do my OT levels and David Miscavige and his minions can not stop me.

  220. I was with Alain Kartuzinski for the last 3 years of his life as we were on the RPF together. He had gone through several twins but for the majority of his program he was twinned with Richard (Dick) Story and he got Alain all the way up to the 8th dynamic on the 1-8 FPRD form. Dick got reprieved (which is another outrageous story in itself) as the new Fort Harrison hotel was manned by and large by RPF’ers who got “reprieved”. But Dick didn’t go to the FH, he went to the AO to continue regging. I guess getting the to get an old-time top reg back was more important than following LRH policy…

    At that point Alain was completed on his RPF program by another OT on the RPF, Heather Crook, who took good care of Alain and audited him for HIM, not for what someone else wanted to get done.

    Alain had been on HEAVY blood pressure medication for many, many years and that’s why he was mainly doing his manual labor assignments at the Hacienda dealing with laundry instead of working at the Mill where most RPFers were assigned, as he had physical condition.

    After it was found out he had contracted cancer Heather Crook and the D/Snr C/S Crew, a “Mr. Webb” – don’t know his first name, but it wasn’t Tyler (Ty) Webb (who was his son) did from my observation a pretty good job of ending any and all open auditing actions on Alain, including any NOTS repair. When Alain was hospitalized Heather was approved to actually go to the medical center where Alain was and audited him right in his hospital room, despite security risks to take care of him as much as possible at that stage of his life.

    While undergoing chemo he contracted some sort of Pneumonia infection and because his immune system was shot by the chemo this was the actual cause of death. Before he passed away Heather managed to EP a confidential process for people who are about to kick the bucket and Alain communicated that he was calm and ready to go.

    When it was known that Alain had contracted cancer he was granted special liberties and was able to both visit and receive visits by his wife and son, as well as going on leave to visit his own family and parents (and other son) back in France. His wife was with him to the very end and stood by him in love and support daily throughout his entire illness period.

    When Alain had technically completed his own C/S’ed RPF program (but not yet taken another RPF member to completion) he petitioned to get reprieved and this was granted and during the last several months of his life he was technically not an actual RPFer but stayed at the Hacienda and graded Basics checksheets, more like a staff member, while being able to spend time with his wife as well as getting more medical attention than he could get as an RPFer.

    Alain certainly had a proper funeral service, attended by many FSO staff members, as well as his close family and there was an issue, at least distributed internally, which spoke very elquently about Alain.

    I got to work with Alain very closely throughout those 3 years and I both liked and appreciated him as a being. As he was on the RPF for “out tech” he, per FOs, could not be involved in the tech delivery on the RPF, but behind the scenes he was always there and helped debug cases and he helped me and my C/S many times to get my situation straightened out as he had very high personal reality on being “audited” based on what someone else wanted to hear instead of what the person itself had charge on.

    Though he never said it out straight, as he couldn’t if he were to have any chance of ever finishing or getting reprieved, we had many personal conversations about his story with the LMP case and it is my own opinion and view from seeing his eyes and getting his intention that he had, by the end, come to realize his own exact causation, what he did and didn’t do and the causation of others involved, including that of DM. Alain had no blame in his demeanor but he knew full well, though he had his own out-tech and integrity issues with the case, that he was set up as a scape goat to protect DMs involvement.

    When Alain left, there was no unresolved conflict in his mind and he had seen the truth for at least himself and he was content with this.

    He left in peace and he was loved by everyone in the RPF, the old-time FSO tech terminals and his family and he will only be remembered in very favorable terms by all those who dealt with him personally.

    I just wanted to provide a more detailed account of his last days to discredit any rumors that I have seen sprinkled across these comments.

    Love, Ulf

  221. I seem to recall him being quoted by the media as saying in regard to Lisa (paraphrased): “She died. People die all the time.”

    I’ll see if I can track down that quote.

  222. Phil de Fontenay

    Ronnie I love it!

    You’re not part Australian are ya? 🙂

  223. Phil de Fontenay

    Thanks Jim! 🙂

    I would love to have a good comm with you about the tech. I need that charge handled because I am doubting the validity of OT levels. Grades and NED well I know that works.

    One amazing thing happened though. When I heard I was declared from a pc of mine(I HELP Dumb Asses!) I felt a tremendous release of stress. My abilities are returning, my body felt better, my communication was more free and I just felt a big burden was lifted. I didn’t even realize that was there that’s how insidious it was. Because of that I am on a quest to translate the Truth into Chinese so the Taiwanese people can make the right decision.

    And NO OSA, I have no intention on “destroying” Scientology. You guys are doing a grand job of that yourselves. What I see happening is that the church will have it’s ethics put in BIG time and Scientology will one day be prospering again. Face it, the church is in Treason on the planet… or lower

    Sorry couldn’t stop! ~he he And I won’t.

    PS OSA send me my Golden Rod instead of slandering me to my friends. It’s Phil de Fontenay. Small “d” Capital “F” ~Thanks so much.

  224. Richard Royce

    What the F? The punishment was a a trumped up charge:
    “I was funnelling Class XIIs out of the FSO” was the reason I was RPFd.

    Where on gods earth were you supposed to be funnelling them? This of course was Misgaviges insanity at work? Holy computing psychoticcism!

  225. Richard Royce

    Thanks Ronnie

  226. E.J. Croughs

    Phil, say hello for me to Lisa Lai when you find her. In 1999 she was afraid to stay in comm with me because she tought the SO would declare me for it. She’s is a great OL and would love to read this blog and get in the game again. You know Johnny and Lucy from Cellfood?

  227. In a just outcome of any legal action, it would only be defamation if the claim were not true.

    There’s another aspect to defamation (in the US). Public figures have much less protection. That’s why people can claim horrible things about US presidents — and the claims do not have to be true, because public figures are pretty much subject to what people want to say.

    There are limits, of course. But no one has incited violence against DM. If anything, Marty’s closing comment hit the nail on the head in my view — DM is quite likely stuck with an overt and withhold re Lisa’s death, and because that has not been handled, he is stuck in having to be right, which unfortunately means more and more squirreling of the tech and pain and suffering. Needless pain and suffering.

    I thank Marty and Mike (whom I do not know at all other than through their public words and postings) very much for their observations and insights on Lisa. How hard it must have been for her to be told she was clear, still knowing that something was amiss. She is then in a severe Catch-22 — no matter what she does she is damned (reveal she’s not feeling clear at all? She’s damned. Continuing to behave as if she is clear? She’s damned.)

    A severe breakdown of some sort was predictable in Lisa’s case — with the wisdom of hindsight, at least, or had someone been able to proceed standardly at the time.

    It’s not just Scientology tech that would predict that Lisa was at severe risk — psychology and psychiatry have long recognized that a severe enough Catch-22 can trigger a meltdown in anyone.

    Back to the defamation question.

    Heres’ a relevant quote: “The First Amendment requires that a defamation plaintiff prove actual malice or reckless disregard of the truth when the plaintiff is a public official or public figure.” (The source and other information on how a public figure has a much greater burden to claim defamation can be found at:


    I would argue that the COB of what the COB claims is the world’s fastest growing religion (or one of the fastest) is presumably a public figure — and behaves as a public figure in giving speeches, awarding medals to actors like Tom Cruise, courting celebrities, and christening (pun intended) new Ideal Orgs and such.

    Here is a litte more on defamation and public figures:


    In short, re the Lisa story — WOW! Thank you.

  228. Jethro Bodine

    Not only has Miscavige never once publicly apologized or showed any remorse for the death of Lisa McPherson, he even announced the winning of the McPherson criminal trial as an “IAS victory”. This is truly disturbing, all with applauding brainwashed and implanted clubbed seals and high rollers like the Feshbachs and Jensens on board the annual “Freewinds” convention, the floating asbestos-ridden prison ship. He never once even mentions Lisa’s name. Like I said, Miscavige belongs in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiary. Also notice how he tries to spin this as some kind of “SP conspiracy” against the “church”. He even tries to make himself look good. Disgusting when you now know the real facts behind the case thanks to the revelations from Mike and Marty.

    part 1:

    part 2:

  229. Richard Royce

    Another what the F? Running someone on OWs while they are in the middle of auditing actions is mixing rundowns. Am I correct this is gross out tech!

  230. Li'll bit of stuff

    HTF, exceptional piece of journo! Succinct
    and eloquent analogy to the Nazi regime
    terror methodologies. This is another
    high impact delivery! V W D!

  231. Grasshopper. I enjoyed your story here. It reminds me what Scientology is all about.

  232. I have limited my study of the McPherson case to firsthand reports, namely from Interviews and Hearings conducted by the FloridaState Attorneys, subpoenaed records and “daily watch reports” that arepublicly available. I have read them in their entirety.

    I spent quite a few hours of my time as a personal project to do a disappassionate analysis on the Lisa Mcpherson case history. I think I was I was intrigued to see a smiling happy face proudly displaying her L-11 cert only 3 weeks before her untimely death.

    On line One can find on public record Interviews and Hearings done by Florida State attorneys, the daily watch (“baby”watch records) and though Flag Land Base staff involved with Lisa were quickly sent out of the country away from Prosecutors, nuerous subpoened records are still avilable, and countless other reports on line.

    1) David Miscavige was tuning in and watching Lisa Mcpherson ‘s session as some kind of grotesque maniacal Tech Expert. He could “tell” from watching a session that she was a CLEAR.

    2) She attested to Clear. She behaved somewhat frantic and hyper after this declare. She was employed by Bennetta Slaughter owner of AMC Publishing and DM “Pet” and enabler

    3) For some unknown reason, Miscavige decided to personally “Senior CS” Lisa Mcpherson and was under the direct supervision of David Miscavige, which ultimately resulted in her psychotic break and death. Brenda Spencer was a close 20 year friend of Lisa and has related the electrifying details of the final hours of she spent in an Orlando hotel room with Lisa, who after weeks of sleeplessness and relentless intimidation by Slaughter, finally reached her breaking point. Every word of what she said about her auditing, and the ranting hysteria and psychotic fits leading up to being taking off her clothes and walking naked on Fort Harrison Avenue in Clearwater.

    4) Brenda was coerced through a six-month series of ‘security checks’ and ‘ethics handlings’ – (at her personal expense) into silence and submission regarding the details of the McPherson murder case by the Office of Special Affairs, and the Public MAA at the Advanced Organization Los Angeles (AOLA) in 2002

    5) To give some idea of how this went down, one had to read the tortured “O/W write-up Lisa was forced to write on and on wracking the very depths of her soul for “CRIMES”.


    Marty’s headline on this blog is 100% accurate. I would testify in a court of law in a heart’s beat as to how Lisa Mcpherson died and how it went down and and how Miscavige is diectly embroiled and accountable.

  233. WHY 3 swings of the needle to call an FN ?

    Lisa Mcpherson’s death !
    I sincerely believe that Miscavige got shaken up somewhat at the Lisa McPherson firestorm and felt he was bamboozled at misreading the FN.
    It is only a short time spell after Lisa’s death when the new rule of an FN having to swing with equal momentum 3x was enforced on the world.

  234. I believe the best thing for David Miscavige is for him to spend the remainder of his days on the RPF. Prison is too good for him.

  235. Holy smokes Kay !! Your viewpoint carries a lot of significance about this whole story.

    It seems Lisa was a good pal and a good person and that you knew her quite well. That is valuable and appreciated to you for speaking out! It’s often perceived, and perpetuated in some circles that Lisa was wacho-psycho to begin with. I appreciate your humanizing her, very very theta.

    Please do not be afraid to say more Kay, I for one love details, and enjoyed your comments immensely so far.

  236. David Miscavige punching his pc.
    I have already reported this numerous times on this blog, but for all the newer visitors I will report it again.
    Before I left for the Apollo, I was an intern at St. Hill.
    The Miscavige family was there~ early 70s.
    Miscavige was a little celebrity being photographed for the quarterly magazine of St. Hill as he was auditing at 12 years old.
    One day, we well all told that Miscavige had been taken off the interneship for slugging his pc. We were told to bury the story and get on with production. It was blamed on his “asthma medication.”
    The Miscaviges never returned to St. Hill, they left for Philadelphia in 48 hours.
    It was quite an earthquake. St. Hill was top of the line. There was no Flag Land base or Freewinds.
    The Miscavige bio tried to to trump up the glory of Miscagive as this ” brilliant young interned auditor” when he never completed the interneship and was kicked off base. (They have since tweeked DM’s internet bio and removed all the tissue of lies)
    What no one on this blog knows is that a first hand account from an intimate insider reporting all this and more is now on video. It was filmed for a journalist in my home a few short weeks ago.
    There is more to the story but I will let the nearest eyewitness tell the tale head to toe. I will let all know when the video is on line.

  237. Phil de Fontenay

    Ouch! I had it so easy compared to you Tony! 😦

  238. mike, if you have time, take a look at South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Committee, but essentially was a process for people living under the Apartheid regime to tell their story and go some way in getting to the truth of what happened.

  239. Thanks Marty, you’ve done a great service by outing the truth about Lisa McPherson. Two key LRH references:

    “Earlier discovery and development of the PTS theory is extensively covered. The recent wrap-up came about through my OT research in November 1971. The principal breakthrough was realizing one should NOT invalidate having known certain people before.

    “This is similar to the past life discovery in 1950. Some people thinking this was ‘unpopular’ frowned on it. Some others were only famous characters so flagrantly that past lives were easily invalidated. But people who don’t go past track in Dianetics don’t recover. Even running them as ‘imaginary’ as in Science of Survival advices suddenly breaks through for a stalled Dianetic Case. In this same way with young men and girls using ‘I knew you when you were’ for 2D [romantic] advantage tended to invalidate having known certain individuals before this life.

    “But now it turns out that the ONLY PTS situation that is serious and lasting and can cause a rollercoaster comes from having known the person before this life.” — L. RON HUBBARD, HCO Bulletin of 9 December 1971, PTS RUNDOWN

    “To the degree that a being cannot confront, he enters substitutes which, accumulating, bring about a complexity… Out of this, with further study in other fields, I found that any complexity stemmed from an initial point of nonconfront. This is why looking at or recognizing the source of an aberration in processing ‘blows’ it, makes it vanish. Mental mass accumulates in a vast complexity solely because one would not confront something. To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront. The basic thing man can’t or won’t confront is evil.” — LRH

  240. Li'll bit of stuff

    hadley, thank you so much for vividly sharing this painful
    experience! I for one, duplicated and understand, as I’m
    sure do many others reading your post, especially those
    who were in a similar position. Hopefully, you are well on
    your way to full healing, and if not, real help is at hand,
    with so many genuine top class auditors available through
    Marty’s blog. Hey, I believe this blog includes a massive
    proportion of caring, extremely switched on persons, who
    are aware of just how important a simple ack can be, in response to a traumatic origination.

    BTW, I really just DON’T see ENOUGH acks, (on this blog)
    which really just help an originator end a comm cycle and
    therefore free their attention, to “move on up a little higher”

    Who else agrees with this (auditor) “flunk” ? Can we get
    enough into P.T. to just use our TR-O ( be there for each
    other) as a GOOD example of what REAL Scn is all about?

    So, how about it, gang? Can you spare any of those precious, miserly little acks? ( TR-2 ) A Li’ll goes a long, long way, ya know ?

    Just my 2c. worth. ( on behalf of “good manners”)

    Li’ll bit of stuff

  241. LOL. 🙂

  242. Impartial English Girl

    It takes real courage and integrity to “man up” and speak the truth about these atrocities. THANK YOU Mr. Rinder and Mr. Rathbun for having the decency to be open about the atrocity visited upon this innocent and clearly DESPERATELY unwell young lady – who was duped unto death by the very people with whom she sought trust and sanctuary.

    If the endeavours of such as Mr. Rathbun succeed, then Miss McPherson’s death will not have been in vain. If just ONE person is prompted to act against DM because of the ghastly fate that befell her, then her name shall sound throughout the ages. Like the tragedy of the RMS Titanic (which sailed (and was mostly crewed) from a city SO close to where I live and thus has a resounding impact even now, 100 years later…), the appalling loss led to many lives saved. As a DIRECT result of the RMS Titanic tragedy, ALL ships now carry sufficient lifeboats for all on board; ALL ships now maintain 24-hour radio/wireless operation (the nearest ship to the Titanic, the Californian, turned off their Marconi Wireless just 10 minutes or so before the Titanic collided with the fatal iceberg – had Her wireless room still been operational it is likely that almost all aboard the Titanic could have been saved) – and the North Atlantic Ice Patrol was formed. A permanently-roving vessel, whose crew exists for the sole purpose of warning shipping when hazardous ice is nearby. Countless numbers saved – as a direct result of the appalling loss of the lives Titanic took with Her.

    Mr. Rathbun – YOU are the North Atlantic Ice Patrol of “Scientology”. And Miss MacPherson’s tragic loss has not been in vain and she will not be forgotten. Her name will echo throughout history as the catalyst for a dictator’s downfall.

    Peace and love. Keep smiling…

    IEG xxxx

  243. I am a long time sufferer of insomnia and have studied the phenomena. To me lack of sleep on a continual basis is permanent restimulation. I was on the St. Hill Briefing Course from Sept 1963 until Nov 1964. On 22/11/1963 President John Kennedy was assassinated. Ron posted a handwritten letter on the bulletin Board that he had written to president Kennedy that his (Kennedy’s) life was in danger. Obviously that is something which can only be validated by history. But events at St Hill changed dramatically. Ron changed his entire daily schedual. Up until that time he would invite senior scientologists to dinner on a Sat evening. Those were cancelled, permanently. Ron changed his dailly schedual so that he slept from around 5am to 10am. We would often see him walking the grounds of St Hill getting his daily exercise around the grounds. He also researched the process Routine 6 from that time.

    I believe that the schedule Ron set up for his sleeping schedule was wrong (if not for him then certainly for cases less advaced than his own)

    I have read many accounts of scientologists believing they could do with just three hours sleep a night. Sleep is not a thetan ability, natively, it is a routine that physical bodies have genetically developed over millions of years and will not change untill we dispense with bodies in some other era.

    I believe Ron began to decline from this point. We all know we shouldn’t audit a pc who has had insufficient sleep. Yet no one I know has ever chastised their pc for not getting enough sleep. I invite readers of this blog to comment.

    In my opinion Ron’s own case declined from the point where he crashed his motorcycle and broke some bones. Then I have seen some photos of Ron, thin and bearded, looking like christ in a white gown. Very un-Ron-like.
    And it has become apparent that Ron suffered some sort of stroke (unable to sign his name to documents only his fingerprints were proof that he was still alive in early 1985/6).

    I believe scientologists (Sea Org) from the late 1960’s were deprived of sleep to such a degree that their behaviour, inevitably, declined into a copy- cat presumtion of LRH’s personality. They became machines and from the time Flag was based in Clearwater the decline of Scientology was inevitable. Many things were achieved then but at the same time it becomes apparent that the SO believed it must interfere with the Class V orgs so they were to become Flag-Like in their training. Well, as a scientologist of the early 1960s I can catergorically state that the results achieved at that time were miraculous; certainly my own gains were. We didn’t require Flag-Like training. But Flag (whether LRH-inspired or not) believed the training level of 60s/ 70s class V orgs was inferior. Of course it was, and not unexpected. Flag was there to supervise the ability of class V auditors. But Flag got a bee in its bonnet that the “field” (now the Independants) auditors were not competent and destroyed them (and guess who the person who delivered the coup de gras–David Miscavige). Miscavige, get some sleep- if you can, you’ll need it.

  244. markthehungarian

    Wow. These last two posts have been pretty intense. I’m not sure whether David Miscavige will take the bait you’ve set out and come after you with a lawsuit, but my feeling is that he has to do something.

    Surely he can’t just sit back and let you, Marty, who was once a very senior figure in the Church of Scientology, defame him. Or can he?

    Does he have the balls to try and sue you in court? Does he have the minerals to take you on with his pack of legal hounds to destroy you for defamation? Of course not. He’s a coward. And he knows if he dares raise a finger against you in court, he risks being deposed himself.

    I am relying on his pride to fuck things up for himself. As Marcellus Wallace says in Pulp Fiction, “That’s pride fuckin’ with you. Fuck pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps.”

    However, besides being an evil coward, David Miscavige is ignorant. And stupid. But that’s what you get from dropping out of high school. And maybe, just maybe, he believes a little too much of his own posturing.

    If he takes the bait, I think we’ll see something happen in the next month or so.

    As a non-Scientologist, I find everything I have read about the treatment of Lisa McPherson medically negligent to a criminal degree, and unjustifiable no matter what philosophy one adheres to. Unfortunately, I think her case is already too old and too convoluted to cause David Miscavige any problems. Another buffer for Miscavige is the incredible secrecy that exists inside the Church of Scientology, and the distance that individual Scientologist members have to keep from each other. This means that few people there (if any) know anything about McPherson.

    After all, if Mike Rinder was held out of the loop and only discovered more of the truth after being out for years, what hope is there that Miscavige is brought to book for his crimes?

    As I see it, and if what you say is true, then Miscavige has gotten away with murder.

  245. Thank you, Marty, for filling in the blanks on this event. I only read of it in the media and wondered from far away how this went down.

    Speaking of Ray Mithoff, do you, Marty, or anyone know where he is now? Has he been released from the hole and Sea Org? It’s been many years, but I swear I saw him or his doppelganger in a small town grocery store recently. The individual looked so much like Ray (plus the years). He had the same quiet demeanor. He also appeared quite beaten down as I imagine Ray would look after years of crushing inval. However, the guy still looked me in the eye as I would expect – maybe a flicker or recognition or maybe something else. The individual looked very much “under the gun” (figuratively speaking) so I didn’t want to open a conversation and stir up a bunch of stuff without knowing.

    Part 2 of this question is, does anyone know what area his family are from, and if he is/was married – where the wife’s family is from?

    If there is a next time, I will ask. If it were he, I would reach out.

  246. Such a typical American response. You had been suppressed to the point where you barely had the ability to fight back. Forgive me from pointing out that you were (or felt you were ) able to fight back from your suppressor. Unlike yourself I was supressed by a family member from the time I was six years old until I was twenty. You will argue ” why didn’t I just leave home?” Well I almost committed suicide (and indeed almost murdered the suppressor). Sorry mate you dont come even close to what true suppression is really like. In fact if you give close inspection of the meaning of suppression you will note that the key ingredieant of suppression is ” the feeling that you cannot fight back” at that point you feel that your spirit has been broken and life holds no future.

    I mean no disrespect to Americans as a race, but I have noted that most movies and books promote the concept of Americans as heroes (ie people who cannot be so suppressed as to believe that ones “spirit has been broken” and yet that is the key point of the earliest definition, by Ron, as the definition of suppression. Sure, you are now fighting back against Miscavige but only after you recognised that there were others who would back you up in your fight.

  247. I almost forgot 🙂 I Rodney John Fordham withdraw my support of the Church of Scientology and wish to join the group known as The Independants.

  248. Thanks Mike — I only saw the “R” advices.

    Forbid FOREVER? — ie — even once no longer Type III?

    In which case, I agree with Mike Laws comment above — quite a finite judgement.


  249. Li'll bit of stuff

    Richard, superb example of the ” right thing to do ”
    As Ronnie says, in his reply above, ..”.That’s a pass
    my friend….” And just as sure as night follows day
    (and I tried to reassure Ronnie, replying to a recent
    disconnection by a close family member,) the old
    wheel will surely turn, when the proverbial “shit hits
    the fan” for these blinkered next of kin, as the
    runaway Miscavige Express train of Destruction
    unexpectedly slams into their stable data and
    finally shatters their delusions.

    Patience, good folk, you will be rewarded for it, by
    the return to normality of your brethren.


  250. Thank you Kay.

    Confirms the opinion I formed when I first met Bennetta — The Queen of Self-Absorbtion from the Land of the Ice Queens.


  251. Li'll bit of stuff

    Only just, Ronnie and the prick had the “wire”
    electrified, just a short while later. The next
    batch of hopefuls had their brains zapped
    with IO,OOO volts of “mind control” just to
    keep them compliant and obedient to the
    will of the “Supreme Rulah.” (….of Scn!…)

  252. windhorse,
    A clarification in regard to meeting miscavige on the ship.
    He was not on the Freewinds during my OTVIII voyage, as I recall.
    Since I lived in Miami at the time, I was constantly asked to go
    to the Freewinds to keep the stats up. A few weeks after
    OTVIII, I returned to the Freewinds for a ‘conference’. He was on the ship at that time. My guess is that his mind created the idea of recalling everyone and he then performed his ‘surgery’ on the OT levels.

    George M. White

  253. Often we humans have the weakness to look at a too small time frame. The present time seems to be so important or even overwhelming, and the future looks so far away.

    But sticking to the RIGHT decisions in present time is what gives form and life to the future – for yourself as well as for others. Because strong postulates will create effects beyond your first dynamic.

  254. Carol. Lets leave judgement alone. The point is no one walks away the first or second time something doesnt seem right. It takes time and usually something personal. And the more committed the person, that too often added years to their personal runway. Fortunately, its getting harder for the cult to keep its members insulated.
    People are waking up every day and walking away. Thats all thats important. In the end everyone has to face what happened within themselves and deal with it. No one escapes that judgement. Our job is to keep the communication lines open and information flowing.

  255. Li'll bit of stuff

    FF, Whew!! At last! And now free to move on up.VWD!

  256. Kay,
    You are still a kick ass kind of gal. 🙂
    I saw Lisa and Bennetta at Flag a couple months before Lisa passed away. It was at the Sandcastle in the lobby area. Bennetta was bragging on Lisa (loudly) that she had attested to Clear. Lisa was loud too and IMO seemed a little manic or maybe electrified describes it better. Lisa came over to tell me she had always had a crush on my then husband and then they were off like little tornados. I remember thinking something seemed really wrong. Since it was just a gut feeling, I didn’t really feel I could say anything.
    We got the call in December that she had passed away. My ex-husband took the call. He told me she died in the ambulance and that it was a result of an earlier accident where a car hit her leg.

  257. martyrathbun09

    Thanks a lot for this. I really appreciate it.

  258. martyrathbun09

    But I think her recollect is pretty accurate. It was a mention like she noted, to the effect of, if some guy comes marching in off the street talking about martians he doesn’t check in. It was not: should a Flag public have a psychotic break bar the door.

  259. Firebreathing Frog

    I wanted to ask the question: “Who Killed Alain K?”
    But you answered my question.

    Alain was a very god man, and a very competent auditor and C/S.
    He was a friend from many years, I help him move to FSO in July 1978, he was going to Flag to be one of the top auditor on the planet.
    I locked up to him like if he was half god.

    He came back to France several time on mission from FSO.
    Every time his handling was fantastic, and his duplication and application of the tech and LRH was so good, he will make people happy wherever he went.
    I can not believe he was forced into such out tech by the little devil called David Miscavige
    (Crimes Only Backfire – Remember That Coward.)

    When Alain passed away couple of years ago, nothing was ever mention to the staff and public here. Today, we are being told:

    “He fucked up on the handling of Lisa McPherson, and that’s why he pulled in this cancer stuff.
    But don’t worry, he is fine now.
    I gave big donation in million of dollars before he passed away.”
    (From his father heritage I suppose.)

    I am still crying writing this.

    RIP Alain.

    Miscavige, you gonna pay for all your crimes. For thousand years to come.

    And for thousand years to come, people will read on this blog, as all your crimes will finally be exposed.

  260. Firebreathing Frog

    I wonder why about 96% of the original Saint Hill Staff has been SP declared.
    (Difficult to think that LRH run all these SP’s and made Saint Hill a model for all other orgs to reach for his birthday.)
    Now it make sense: they were all witness Miscavige slugging his pc.
    Sure that make them SP.

  261. Mariella,

  262. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Ain’t that the truth! I know many who have chosen that method – and it’s not just Flag.

  263. VBMax,
    Congrats on Independence!!

  264. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Myself included and I thank you sincerely for the 5 minute session that put 20 years of invalidation and confusion to rest.

  265. Phil de Fontenay

    Hey EJ,

    Yes I will. She is one person I would like to talk to here.

    I found out more about why she was hunted by OSA and finally declared. Apparently she had a little fling with the CO OSA ANZO’s husband Mark Hannah. He’s no longer in the SO and no longer married. 😉 From what I remember, Mark Hannah was the President of the COS Sydney some time ago. (Please take this data off if not appropriate Marty)

    It was the only reason she was declared. She married a Clear she met at Flag and he was declared. Consequently, she was declared.

    Last time I saw Johnny Lin he was recovering from stroke that he had at Flag while getting on OT?. Not long after he did the L Rundowns. He couldn’t control his body at all and had to stay in the hospital and get all kinds of therapies. From what I remember he had 2 strokes. 1 happened after L Rundowns. I heard he is doing better now and able to walk.

  266. Firebreathing Frog

    Thank you so much for this write up.
    Sorry I didn’t see your post before posting above, but I understand now how responsible Alain was.
    Too sad to see good people go, while the real SP is still kicking.
    This entire Church is set up that no-one can apply LRH policies, as soon as Miscavige send a squirrel order.

    In Paris, we are told “he was OK when he left, cause he gave million dollars donation to the church.”
    (after more than 30 years as SO member).

    I am disgusted by this mentality.

    Thank again for taking the time to write.

  267. miscavigeisscaredofsam


  268. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Ditto on that gem of a squirrel headfuck. Looking forward to payback.

  269. Tony DePhillips

    Hey Phil,
    Just remember some of the life changing wins you had. Those are real.
    With heavy injustice it can act to throw your lists out and have a very negative impact on the case. On the other hand knowing who is the SP on the case is very helpful.
    I waited awhile to decompress and then I got some auditing from Marty which was very helpful. I wasn’t sure if auditing would work outside the “church”. ( I was still in bot mode) Well it worked even better. ( Of course) No suppression, no feeling that I had to be the way “they” wanted me to be, no heavy regging, it’s a totally different world.

  270. Tony DePhillips

    Awesome Rodney!! I need more of the story though…come on , it’s not nice to create a mystery 🙂 I want to hear your story.

  271. Tony DePhillips


  272. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Our most deep and humble and sincere apologies for having such horrendously bad TRs, inappropriate comm cycles. I’m certain many posters are suffering quite horribly due to our inability to acknowledge one another.
    Thank you so much for reminding us – don’t know where we’d be without you.
    By the way… the public announcement you announced was imminent revealing your true identity some weeks ago? …
    The one you were so beautifully (and prematurely) acknowledged for by the Indies? …
    Still working on it huh?

  273. “I am sorry that I am the one telling you, but a new storm is upon us. Its waves are already in the media and the world around us.”
    Debbie Cook on Jan. 1st 2012

    It’s April now and the storm has turned into a Force 10 hurricane with waves coming in at 40 and 50 feet high every few seconds. Nothing can stand that kind of pressure for long.

    Mike and Marty thank you for this pulling back the curtain on this tragedy.

  274. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    😀 xxx

  275. The same old LDW

    I know what you mean about the acks. However, there could be as many as a thousand folks reading this blog on a daily basis (maybe even more). A thousand acks per comm might be just a bit much.

    How about this instead. Each poster realize that minimally 200-300 folks read your comm and did get it, even if no acks were posted. Just KNOW that this occurred. Okay? Okay!

  276. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Sounds about right.

  277. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Only person I see ‘squabbling’ here is you Noah. You have a right to your opinion but don’t mistakenly assume that attempting to foist it on the rest of us will make it stick.

  278. Ulf,
    If Mr Webb was a man, it was Art Webb. What an incredible auditor! He used to tell me stories about his time on the Apollo. He was my auditor for years pre GAT. I have much respect for him.

  279. Tony DePhillips

    You and your wife are people of honor.

    I know you are doing the right thing.

    Your kids may or may not recognize your courage and integrity now, but they will. I recall my Mom telling me that Miscavige had “little mans syndrome” she was trying to get me to see the outpoints in the “church”. I blew her off. I thought that she didn’t know what she was talking about.
    Well, now I know she was right. My Mom died a few years ago while I was still in. She was a righteous lady. Your kids will get it eventually and they will see you for who you truly are.

  280. Tony DePhillips

    I like how you roll Kay.

  281. The same old LDW

    I got your point on this. However, I would like to point out something that you may not be aware of. We were in comm with Marty at the beginning of this blog and it’s my understanding from that comm that Marty had no idea whether or not anyone “had his back.” He started this entire comm cycle with sheer guts and a determination to do the right thing. A classic, and in my book, very brave application of the code of honor…”Your self determinism and your honor are more important than your immediate life.”

  282. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    I’m extremely busy and pressed for time today. I was trying to get my swirling thoughts into order and onto the page…
    You saved me a lot of time. Thanks 🙂

  283. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    If you organize it I will come and bring my friends
    So many hats so little time 😉

  284. Captain Bob


    Regards the Titanic loss and safety measures put in as a result, that you write above. Very true. But guess what, DM has attempted to do that as Karen #1 points out in her post way above in this tread. Karen posted at Apr6, 7:31AM. Your post here is at 9:31AM. Here it is:
    Karen#1 | April 6, 2012 at 7:31 am | Reply
    WHY 3 swings of the needle to call an FN ?

    Lisa Mcpherson’s death !
    I sincerely believe that Miscavige got shaken up somewhat at the Lisa McPherson firestorm and felt he was bamboozled at misreading the FN.
    It is only a short time spell after Lisa’s death when the new rule of an FN having to swing with equal momentum 3x was enforced on the world.

    And thus we also get Clears being recalled, people being recalled on TR’s & Objectives auditing or co-auditing, cases everywhere being invalidated and made to re-do actions. People retraining, old timers being declared, etc etc. That’s how I see it.

    The 3 swing F/N is a complete alter-is.

  285. Captain Bob

    and if there ever was a point to KSW and technical degrades, this is it. The F/N is the most important, in my eyes, regardless of all the other crap the Boss has done. Committing a solution which becomes a problem which is creating lots and lots of problems financially and case wise and growth wise.

  286. Pingback: David Miscavige tötete Lisa McPherson | Der Treffpunkt

  287. Li'll bit of stuff

    dassie, thanks for the post and here’s my response.

    Firstly, are you a fellow S’Efrican ? ( South African? )
    Since your “handle” choice does suggests so! If so,what
    town? If not, no matter, just my passing curiosity!
    Now, back to your above topic, something I’m really
    passionate and feel “strongly” about!

    As a former fitness, strength and bodybuilding coach &
    professional gym owner, here are some simple pointers
    to aid anyone in understanding how to be more “cause”
    to get most result for your effort, whether in strenuous
    sport, play, or even the work situation, whatever that
    may entail, for you personally.

    Today, serious athletes and sports people are pretty
    well educated and already practice the following
    disciplines in their chosen fields. But for the couch
    potatoes and effort shy amongst us, please pay

    Question: Do you smoke? If so… do me a favour..If
    you feel serv. faccy about your “right to smoke if you
    choose,” then skip the rest, it WON’T help you!!!

    Listen up!!!.(each cigarette you smoke,destroys all
    the vitamin C contained in a single orange ( minimum
    of 25 mg. in each) So many dying of cancer, or
    contracting the deadly disease, the causal proof is now well and truly established. Who in their RIGHT
    mind would want to play Russian roulette with such
    an amazing, complex organism, capable of great
    achievement and accomplishment over a productive
    and extended lifespan, when treated with proper care and respect. (Stuff properly covered in a health
    forum! Please forgive my rant!)

    Back to the topic at hand, just as the ARC / KRC
    triangles have interdependent parts, you have the
    following, as any qualified personal trainer will tell

    TRAINING (composite of all physical / mental effort)
    NUTRITION ( total dietary, supplemental intake)
    RECUPERATION ( sleep & FULL recovery cycles)

    .ps….your respective difficulty, insomnia, is readily
    alleviated by a capsule of Tryptophan 250 mg.
    a naturally occurring amino acid in dairy milk, so
    take a cap. with a glass of WARM milk, and see
    what happens. ( check with your health pro. first)

    The obvious parallel to the above in our everyday
    life, equates as:

    WORK ( physical/mental effort directed to an effect)
    MEALS ( healthy / Mexican / junk food ?beer??? )
    SLEEP ( 2 / 3 / 4 / 8, whatever managed! ?)

    the above sarcastic daily regimen, is practised
    daily by Billions of people, who wonder how to
    better cope with their daily demands and stress.
    add to that, the insanity of sleeping pills,tran-
    quillizers, uppers, downers etc,etc and it’s no
    wonder people act like the confused,neurotic,
    anxious HEALTH DEPRIVED people they are.

    So, if any of this pathetic activity applies to
    you….give yourself a break….apply the above:

    Get some physical Training (of your choice)
    Focus on high quality Nutrition (as opposed
    to just “tasty food “)
    Ensure you get RESTORATIVE sleep/rest

    See if you don’t feel the difference!

    This stuff works! Cheers!
    ARC, Li’ll bit

  288. IMHO there mere act of ceasing to support the church of scientology and refusing to do as they tell you makes you independent and free. If you also decide to practise scientology your way then you’re an Independent Scientologist or a Free Scientologist if you like.

    It’s a little like Anonymous in so much as you don’t join Anonymous you either are or you aren’t but at all times you do what you please, are responsible for what you do and are judged by your actions by others. It’s anarchic in the truest sense.

  289. Li'll bit of stuff

    So helpful Sam. thanks! The last word reserved for you!

  290. Gordon Freeman

    I’d imagine Miscavige is slugging his PC right now if he’s reading this ‘blog on it.

  291. E.J. Croughs

    Thanks, I had a bit different perception. She was using translations of basic courses and the SO didn’t like it as many people reached for it and that gave her power. So they made her come to Sydney and get her in trouble. It’s the oldest trick; sell a mission pack, have the mission holder build it, include some legal script that make him loose the mission if something happens, then ensure it happens, rip off the mission and declare the misson holder, same MO since early eighties.

    Too bad to hear they got to Johnny as well. Send him my regards if you see him.

  292. Yes you’re right, fairly shortly before Alain passed away, his mother in France died and Alain inherited a very sizable sum of money. This was when Alain was still an RPFer and before he was reprieved.

    He was visited by many regges from the FSO and IAS and they were “approved” by the highest terminals over the RPF to see him because it was “for the IAS”, so yes, regging for the IAS has now elevated above L. Ron Hubbard policy.

    Alain was much disturbed by the incessant regging and finally donated a very large sum. We were never told how much, but we know it was very large.

  293. Yes, Art was the name – Art Webb was the senior tech terminal over our RPF and he was not only very likeable but he was sincerely trying to C/S of for our own cases regardless of the pressure he got from the RTC Reps and I really respected that.

  294. Li'll bit of stuff

    Les, thanks for duplicating! Highly trained Auditors like you, practice the Auditors Code automatically, in your regular counselling, as it’s just routine to keeping your PC’s in session and preventing ARC breaks (standard sessioning)
    My point above included ” traumatic origination”
    and thus, a SINGLE acknowledgement, obviously
    helps THAT originator, know, (at least in cyberspace)
    that their comm has been duplicated & understood.

    I presume (duh!) that we are all capable of seeing
    whether such an important ACK. has, in fact been
    given to such an origination?

    No overkill necessary , again just my 2c. worth!

    BTW, great to actually have a reply from you!
    Thanks for doing such splendid work in the

    All the best, Li’ll bit

  295. martyrathbun09

    Thanks for these comments on Alain and Art. I think people lose sight of what you are pointing out sometimes. There is a tremendous amount of integrity displayed by people under the radar within. That phenomena is evident in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning; irrespective of how inhumane and controlling an environment can be, there are those who manage somehow to continue to act out of compassion for his/her fellows.

  296. David Miscavige is a fanatic.

    “A fanatic is a man who consciously over-compensates a secret doubt.”
    -Aldous Huxley

  297. Ulf — truly the “Vulture Culture” in all its splendor…

  298. Tony Dephillips

    Good post Sam.
    I trust in your bullshit detector.
    I noticed that “Lil’bit” used the same “last word” quote from the previous thread you had with him/her where someone else took a shot at you. I must say Lil’bit that a person who says they will come out and then doesn’t, does raise a red flag. Maybe you are cool, maybe not. I can already hear the potential replys. To me it’s just blah blah, blah.
    Don’t plant seeds of discontent or give advice until you show you have the courage to come out. Sam has proven she has the right stuff. You are untried as yet.

  299. Ronnie Bell

    You’re not part Australian are ya?

    No, but I am part Scottish….same difference 😉

  300. Li'll bit of stuff

    Dassie, thanks for sharing this. ….when someone is
    able to put themselves in your shoes…….then, they just MIGHT understand! You’re not alone in this, believe me. Others here have been there, too!

    As LRH advised : ” Understanding is the universal
    solvent. It washes away every thing. ”

    Regular comm with caring terminals on this blog,
    will help ease the pain of the past for you and if
    you need to have an Independent Auditor help
    you through this, just reach by saying so.
    An Auditor in your area, may be sourced and get
    you through.

  301. Ronnie Bell

    I’ll give you an ack, and I’ll do it with my real name, too.

    I’m Ronnie Bell. Thank you for your comments, Li’l Bit.

    How’s that?

  302. Ronnie Bell

    Hey Dassie, I don’t much care for your blanket eval of Americans, but this struck a chord in me:

    …if you give close inspection of the meaning of suppression you will note that the key ingredieant of suppression is ” the feeling that you cannot fight back” at that point you feel that your spirit has been broken and life holds no future.

    That is the exact thing that most Scientologists run into when they begin to accumulate losses on technical delivery in Scientology orgs. The contemplation of that conundrum is what led me (and many others) to simply withdraw ourselves from active participation in the church for so long.

    In my own case, it was difficult to even get me in for an ARC break session, because I well understood that the underlying injustice would not be handled. Only my upset with it, would. Maybe. Frankly, the fact that no one in the church was ever going to take responsibility for the technical screw ups and overts that had been committed against me, just stuck like mad, and would not come unglued.

    In the wild, I could take someone to court and obtain a legal judgment against them for injuring me, but with the church? Good luck. You forked over tens of thousands of dollars in exchange for getting help, but instead, were spun into a seething ball of solid mass and black enturbulation? Oh my….so sorry. I’m sure we can handle that if you’d like to sign up for another six intensives at your expense. After all – it is your fault, don’tchaknow. Right this way….

    You see? You can’t fight back against that sort of injustice, when you believe that those who have hurt you, are also the gatekeepers to, and the very deliverers of your immortal salvation.


  303. Ronnie Bell

    When Miscavige ordered me back to Flag for the Solo Nots Certainty course, I told him to go to hell.

    Love it. You’re speaking my language.

  304. Philip,
    By all means get in comm with me. momrath65@yahoo.com.

  305. I agree with Marty. I’d have to see these BFOs and in a new unit of time. A mention and for the person who is on the “martian” watch, that’s one thing, but the Introspection RD exists as a powerful piece of tech and it makes NO sense that it wouldn’t be used for someone who experiences a break while on lines. It’s sort of like the Suppressed Person RD material, IF “disconnection” was to enforced then how the heck can you get the full EP of that RD when the person is supposed to have a positive comm from the terminal? You can’t, so it makes no sense to enforce disconnection.

  306. I second that Marty, brave Sir, good show. David Miscavige is a psychopath, a murderer and a coward.

    Please sue me Davey boy

    It’s not a defemation of anything David Miscavige chairman of the board because you are nothing. You can’t handle me or any Independant Scientologist for that matter David Miscavige. You have no content, you are a hollow man. A black hole. I hope in your next life you will amount to something. You are kind of cute though in a naughty schoolboy kind of way David Miscavige, I understand what your Tom Cruise the actor sees in you.

    Cornelius Anthonius Martens

  307. Li'll bit of stuff

    Hey Tony, I won’t react to your impatient baiting!
    So you doing another biopsy on me too? Quit the
    fucking mind games, please! I’ll make the due
    declaration when it’s completed! Capiche?

  308. Li'll bit of stuff

    Your ack IS one, Ronnie, not an ack-ack-ack version!
    Hey man,.it’s sometimes tricky to get some simple ol’
    duplication, when all ya get is good ol’ Q & A. huh?

  309. It was the Internship from which he was booted for striking a PC in session. Therefore, he never completed the Internship and his Class IV (Provisional) cert would have expired after one year.

    According to the Wikipedia article on him (which does not mention the above), he joined the Sea Org in 1976 immediately after his sixteenth birthday. That puts his failed Class IV Internship sometime around 1972.

    One thing I want to know is who the hell let him into the CMO after he abused a PC *in session*. I do not believe there is any way in Hell, Ron Hubbard would have allowed him, had he known of that.

    Michael A. Hobson

  310. Well, not all these interweb thingies are set up for real time communication. Those that are, enable one to have something approaching a real comm cycle. I only see acks to my comm when I refresh a thread and scroll back through the comments. Sometimes, a whole day has gone by, before I see a reply to something I’ve said.

    I don’t let it bother me. It’s one of the cool things about the net, in a way. You can have twenty comm cycles going in twenty different places, and come back to each of them to continue at your leisure. Now, trying to do that in real time would make me a bit nuts .. LOL

  311. This is heartbreaking. Her overts were she didn’t spend every moment of her soon to be short life raising funds?
    Just my opinion, this is the standard product coming out of that Dallas Mission. I am not sure exactly how it was in her timeframe, but when I was there, I was locked in a room and put on OW write ups. Being young, as Lisa was, and just not that guilty, writes ups turn out to look like this.

  312. Mr. Grant,

    At the time of the civil case, David Miscavige’s involvement with Lisa McPherson’s C/Sing was not even known to anyone not directly on that line, so what do you mean “it became known” ? When? and who reported it?

    Michael A. Hobson
    Independent Scientologist

  313. Excuse me, how could you, Mr. Grant possibly “recall that was the case” if you were not directly involved with either her auditing, her C/Sing or her O/W write-ups ?

    Michael A. Hobson
    Independent Scientologist

  314. Ronnie Bell

    I might just have to mosey on down from Dallas to see you about my BDCI rundown, Marty. Sumpin’ ain’t quite right.

    I think I may have hung up somewhere around the point the auditor said, “I’d like to indicate that you haven’t achieved the state of Clear”.

  315. Truly bizarre. You seem to have some information, perhaps even some facts. But it is all so far out there that I would need considerable substantiation in order to swallow it all.

  316. Phil de Fontenay

    Hello EJ,

    Yeah it was nothing more than a witch hunt. The SO certainly know how to get rid of the powerful people. What do you expect from people constantly in fear ~lol

    If I see Johnny I will pass on your regards. 🙂

  317. Phil de Fontenay

    Sorry EJ, on my last, last comment I meant to say “it wasn’t the only reason…”

  318. Phil de Fontenay

    Yes definitely! Willing to fight injustices no matter what ~lol

  319. You bring up a key point in history. There may be many varied reasons for lack of acknowledgement, but based on some behavioral social studies, what we *think* others think, is usually incorrect (e.g. some guys in Ireland surveyed “Who is your neighbor voting for?” – results showed something like 75% wrong assumptions). Not to invalidate looking and thinking, just to say there may be many reasons not disclosed, that apply to “everyone”

  320. Captain Bob

    yep, it’s like O/W’s are going to make you OT. What about end ruds checks on those in house in a company O’W write-ups. Who enfrorced that action and who pays for them, or do we endlessly write O/W’s?

  321. Yes, this was very evident at the FSO where there were many fantastic staff who were simply trying to do what was right an LRH policy and generally act out of their goodness and compassion, no matter the outside pressure. However, many of these got sick, or later were assigned to the RPF or got busted to some low post. This category of people is definitely a dying breed on the inside, at least on any significant posts. But there are a few still standing – Art Webb and heather Crook being some of the greatest tech terminals I have come to work with. Almost all of the guys on the ground in Renos were also a bunch of very cool dudes.

  322. It was very sad to behold, especially when the RPF I/C (Snr Qual Sec HFA – Janis Scott) talking excitingly about backing up Alain to the rest of the RPF (so he would agree) and of course getting her own commission. The prior RPF I/C (Paul Kempff) was busted after I wrote numerous KRs on him condoning regging of rich RPF members. So Janis was smarter, she was involved in the regging herself to “comply” to the RPF FOs by being physically there as then the regges weren’t talking to the RPFer without going through the RPF I/C…

  323. Phil,
    There never was a listing question neither on a STANDARD DCSI nor on the CCRD. Someone invented “new Tech” there and we know that usually comes about from not understanding LRH’s tech.

  324. Phil,
    God knows what you got because there is no listing question on a STANDARD DCSI or CCRD!

  325. Haydn,
    The ‘Clear scene’ in the US was already messed up in ’84.
    I reported it and got put on the RPF.

  326. Oops, should be Zephyr…

  327. Ditto!
    He saved my butt when I was in ‘hot water’.
    What a great guy!

  328. Thank you Love! xoxox

  329. Welcome Dassie!
    Yeah, let’s have the full story, please….

  330. 2nd that!

  331. Right on Marty!
    Greta 🙂

  332. martyrathbun09

    You are welcome any time.

  333. Good point made Jim!

  334. Tony Dephillips

    Just calling it the way I see it. 🙂

  335. Tony Dephillips

    My bet is that you won’t come out into the open. Capiche?

  336. Impartial English Girl

    I’m sure Biggi Reichert will be most relieved to learn of these stringent new measures. Or, at least, she would have done were she alive today.


  337. Phil de Fontenay

    Hello Greta,

    From what I got from the auditor there were certain steps they followed for this particular “run DOWN” We know who invented that one don’t we? Name begins with David and ends with Miscavige ~lol

  338. Phil de Fontenay

    Certainly didn’t feel standard Greta 🙂 I look forward to finding out where the standard tech actually is. It can no longer be found IN the church so it must be outside it.


  339. The violinist is Joshua Bell, who just two evenings prior sold out a concert at an average $100 a seat in Boston. He played six Bach pieces, over 45 minutes (on a $3,5 million dollar Stradivarius, btw, lucky dog). Passers-by dropped $32 bucks as tips. One woman recognized him and stopped to listen. The thing I like out of the article is that kids were the most interested – like a three year old who had to be practically torn away.



  340. It doesn’t take much to make this observation. LRH himself even says it, over and again: Training is the key to stability on the Bridge.

    KSW #1. The first time I read it, I walked around the Org and realized that every single weirdo giving Scientology a bad name just wasn’t trained. The Auditors who were training and auditing were the most stable, brilliant people I have ever known – the admin terminals sitting in the reg office trying to get someone to sell their house so they could pay for something that reg had no f’in clue about – these guys were the ones causing all the trouble.

    Its really true: the training side of the Bridge is where you get certainty, stability, and know that you can Handle Life.

  341. Li'll bit of stuff

    Tony, I get that you just “have to” have some games. That’s fine with me, if it
    satisfies a compulsion that doesn’t
    become an irritating game for me and
    any others ( dassie’s presentation of his
    real name, didn’t satisfy (you!) You then
    immediately started hounding the guy for
    his personal story, hoping for WHAT,
    exactly??) I get the picture of a dog who’s
    master gets regular visits from a new friend, who, makes an effort to befriend
    this dog, as he basically loves dogs and
    whose SOLE purpose, is just to visit his
    friend!! The dog initially accepts, him!

    The following visit results in a frenzied
    yap yap yap, at the new friend, no matter
    that the visitor sincerely tries to again
    befriend.the dog, who this time does
    NOT stop yapping. This pattern erupts
    on a regular basis especially whenever
    the visitor is having a conversation with
    other guests

    Decidedly irritating, to say the LEAST!

    Hey man, get real!! The correct targets
    worth yapping at are located in the laser
    sights of the host of this blog. Go and
    have a good looksee for yourself

    Alternately, if you haven’t already; then
    I suggest you learn to audit, (properly!)
    where you learn the actual reason for
    TR’s and granting of beingness, is key
    to delivering the purpose of auditing,
    which happens to be a fundamental activity of our host, Marty!!! Added to this, his uncanny ability to sniff out the
    presence of a plant / troll and his “b/s”
    detection skills are unparalleled here.
    If I wasn’t sincere and well intentioned,
    MARTY would have given me the heave-ho long ago!

    BTW, Marty makes a pretty safe bet
    as a role model of KSW 1, and there-
    fore a safe haven for the likes of you
    AND, me, yes? That said,do you see him yapping at visitors?

    If you do, then try making a couple a’ visits to a some neighbourhood trees.
    that should calm the perceptions!

    Woof, from Li’ll bit

    ps.Tony, try not to let suspicion RULE
    your life, like it does to others, man!
    Lighten up a little! Laugh a lot! it does
    wonders for the sanity, bro, and yes,
    my declaration IS a work in progress!

  342. Li'll bit of stuff

    Hello Carcha, nice to read your posts and replies,
    as always and both clips captured the true essence (you) intended, very effectively, too!

    The entire point I was trying to draw attention to,
    was seemingly missed and mistaken by several.

    This is, in reality, not JUST a forum, but in effect
    by design or not, happens to act as a “crisis
    centre” for some visitors, who recognize the
    “Auditor presence ” (or perhaps group auditing
    presence ) that such a receptive gathering
    engenders in a troubled (traumatized) visitor.

    It astounds me completely, to see that there are
    persons, on this blog, who, despite their so
    called “Auditor” training, fail to make use of a
    SINGLE valuable effective ack. (TR-2) of a
    comrade originating trauma, trouble or need!

    I care enough to offer that much needed “ack”
    as I surely know you do too!
    Throwing rotten tomatoes at this messenger
    is just demeaning to the compassion inherent
    in the sanctity of the Auditors Code, which is
    invaluable in shepherding relief where needed.

  343. Li'll bit of stuff

    Gotcha Ron! Comm lags only matter, really, when one
    NOTICES a comrade in trouble and THEN fails to ack or
    act, if at all possible, as the situation may require!

  344. Hello Lil’bit.
    I understand your post and your desire of being acknowledged.
    But don’t you think that the person originating a communication on this blog can imagine, that at least one person really understood his communication?
    Just the simple action of outflow and the certainty that it will be understood is “therapeutic” (if any charge was still attatched to the picture at all).
    This is a 3rd Dynamic session here, as far as I can see it.
    Originations are contributions to time, place, form, event and thus making the whole picture more complete.
    Give acknowledgements if you like, but don’t consider this blog being a “model-session” for individuals. I don’t think that the originator is dependend on acknowledgement – it’s a matter of knowingness that the communication will arrive.

  345. Yes, Alain was a very intelligent, caring and on source tech terminal. He worked briefly in a mission in the 70’s and I admired him greatly. True too, he was definitely a “gentle soul”. That he is now gone from the PT
    game is our loss but there is a bright tomorrow, Alain!

    Thank you Karen for being there and researching, informing us, and
    being such a caring person. You do not know me, but I kind of feel I
    know you. Guess it was in the late 80’s I was standing in CMO Int
    HCO looking out the window and you were toiling away in the garden
    right outside while I was thinking “get me out of here and I can also
    work out there – actually it look kind of freeing”. Well I got my wish the
    next day, but by that time you were gone. Maybe “Happy Valley”?
    You are very appreciated. Keep up your nice work.

  346. Surely I am preaching to the choir here but if there are any outsider looking in, Ron’s tech on handling a person in a psychotic break
    does work. I had to do it personally once, and several times helped
    out in other instances and every time it worked. So that made it 100%
    for me. Why did it not work with Lisa then? It’s outlined in this blog
    and thread but the bottom line was that David M. was not trained and
    he put “undue influence” (dictatorial) on the entire line up of staff who
    handled Lisa. If you have a gun to you head you tend to make mistakes
    or follow the masters orders even if you know they are not 100% correct.

  347. Tony Dephillips

    I’m doing fine. Going to Europe for some fun.I think you are the one with a mental problem. I don’t care if you come out or stay in really. The other guy I wasn’t hounding him for his story, I was interested in hearing it. You seem like an OSA bot to me the way you seem to study others posts. Even if your not you are not someone I am intersted in as a friend. So you can piss off chump.

  348. Li'll bit of stuff

    SKM, nice duplication. Your point well taken too!

  349. Pingback: L. Ron Hubbard und wie es so ist … | Wilfried Handl

  350. Captain Bob

    this post is from August 1, 2010: (Peter White, International Auditor of the Year)


  351. It’s hilarious the number of Co$ critics who STILL BELIEVE against all effing REASON that their idiotic “tech” and risible Xenu stories have any validity or facility whatsoever.

  352. What part you’d play in that Marty?

  353. Pingback: David Miscavige’s Attacks on Dallas – Reversed Scientology, or Gross Incompetence? « Watchful Navigator

  354. Pingback: David Miscavige – Investigator’s Guide to the Criminal History « Watchful Navigator

  355. How fascinating – and sad …the consequences of man thinking he is God

  356. Pingback: Evgeny Zharkin death still shrouded in mystery

  357. Camrin penland

    Poor, misguided, too smart for your own good scientologist. Ever wonder why someone who claims to know the secrets of the universe insists on being compensated to share? If you had the “tech” to solve the worlds problems, why not offer it for free? It is Scientology’s fundamental flaw. That woman died because of greed.

  358. ExploreGod.org

    Watched the three seasons of Leah Remini’s Aftermath of Scientology on Hulu. Prior to watching the series I didn’t know anything about Scientology. Thank you for all of your continued efforts to expose this dangerous cult. Train up others to carry on the fight for when you no longer able to. http://www.gotquestions.org

  359. Bostan Alexandru

    You know your projects stand out of the herd. There is something special about them.


  360. Bostan Alexandru

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  361. Bostan Alexandru

    Extraordinary, this is what I can say, great article this is, with a lot of information and helpful advises.


  362. Bostan Alexandru

    Prior to watching the series I didn’t know anything about Scientology. https://zacjohnson.com

  363. Bostan Alexandru

    És habitual, en els teus relats precisos i ben fets, que ens hi recreem llegint i analitzant tot el que els teus protagonistes ens expliquin. https://phoenixseogeek.com/

  364. Bostan Alexandru

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  365. Bostan Alexandru

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  366. Bostan Alexandru

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  367. Bostan Alexandru

    Noto una por al món i a tot el que hi ha entorn del fet tan i tan delicat que no sabria com descriure-ho, https://blogging.org

  368. Bostan Alexandru

    L’enamorament del final tranquil.litza una mica al descobrir el llaç aquell que duu més a la serenitat i a la comprensió, per difícil que pugui resultar.

  369. Bostan Alexandru

    Feia temps que no llegia res teu (o de cap relataire) i en llegir aquest relat he retrobat aquesta veu teva tan poètica i que sap com arribar endins dels lectors. https://www.kensingtonmorocco.com/

  370. Bostan Alexandru

    Hi ha sensacions que són per sempre.
    M’encanta quan dius: “és poc temps per entendre https://celebrityinsider.org/

  371. Bostan Alexandru

    Aquesta primera persona que fusiona el singular i el plural és un gran encert!
    Una forta abraçada, https://happygamer.com/

  372. Bostan Alexandru

    Merci pel teu comentari al meu relat magre per dolç. Suposo que necessitava una crítica d’algú que fos especialment d’elecció meva i vaig pensar en tu. http://coffeenu.com

  373. Bostan Alexandru

    M’ha agradat moltíssim i t’estic molt agraït doncs penso que no és un relat precisament gaire fàcil d’entendre, per curt que sigui. https://ballstepded.com/

  374. Bostan Alexandru

    El que em passava en el comentari que et https://fixoserror.com/ vaig fer i al qual t’hi refereixes és que volia ser molt sincer, i sovint em costa, ja sigui per bé, per mal, o per contradiccions, com molt bé anotes tu.

  375. Bostan Alexandru

    Uff, de vegades el relat esborrona pels termes que empres. Realment, des que comença ja tendeixes un mant de https://premiereretail.com mots que amaren el relat de sentiments profunds

  376. Bostan Alexandru

    En aquest cas, d’una relació materno-familial encara sense materialitzar. https://tecsprint.com

  377. Bostan Alexandru

    Em recorda un relat que vaig escriure cap a un amor que encara no havia arribat a la meua vida abans que descobrira l’amor propi. https://howtolose10poundsinaweek.com

  378. Bostan Alexandru

    Has descrit tan bé l’estimació! Mare i fill crec que són l’estimació més sublim. Un desig per a tots aquells que no tenim fills i ho voldríem. https://bargainistafashionista.com

  379. Bostan Alexandru

    Aquest meravellós relat em transllada a temps ja superats però igualment importants: la por, els dubtes, el neguit de no saber si s’estarà a l’alçada de les circumstàncies https://bankncard.com

  380. Bostan Alexandru

    El diàleg interior amb el fillet és ja una manera de ser conscient de la responsabilitat que comporta donar vida a un altre ésser, que estarà https://vhan.net lligat a nosaltres ja per sempre.

  381. Bostan Alexandru

    És una tasca gegantina, dia a dia, any rere any, i no és https://millikenconstructioninc.com/ d’estranyar que, de vegades, tinguem dubtes de si tindrem prou forces per a dur-la a terme.

  382. Bostan Alexandru

    Però aquestes reflexions venen compensades per la gran il·lusió i joia que comporta sentir bategar un cor al https://www.westernjanitorial.com/ mateix ritme que el nostre

  383. Bostan Alexandru

    És una https://vvhen.to/ meravella, una mena de miracle de la natura que no deixa mai de sorprendre.

  384. Hi Marty

    What happened to your story of Angie Blankenship’s role in overseeing the Lisa McPherson handling on the ground, and the differences you had with her about using Chloral Hydrate vs. Valium?

    I don’t see it here any longer.

    Has this article been revised?

  385. I’m sorry. I had transposed my memory of your interview here onto my recollection of the article here. I found everything I had remembered and needed in this Tampa Bay Times interview which covered it all:

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