Category Archives: acknowledgments

The Gospel According to Jesus

That is the title of another book by Stephen Mitchell, whose translation of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching I have many times recommended on this blog and in my books.  The subtitle is: A New Translation and Guide to his Essential Teachings for Believers and Unbelievers.

Mitchell undertakes an effort begun by such noted Americans as Thomas Jefferson and Ralph Waldo Emerson, both of whom assayed to differentiate the life and words of Jesus from the hype, falsehood, misdirection and fear they perceived had been added to the Scriptures by others.

I am going to share one passage from the introduction of Mitchell’s book that I believe might resonate on several levels with people who have invested in the Scientology experience.

Excerpt from The Gospel According to Jesus:

He enjoys eating and drinking, he likes to be around women and children; he laughs easily, and his wit can cut like a surgeon’s scalpel.  His trust in God is as natural as breathing, and in God’s presence he is himself fully present.  In his bearing, in his very language, he reflects God’s deep love for everything that is earthly: for the sick and the despised, the morally admirable and the morally repugnant, for weeds as well as flowers, lions as well as lambs.  He teaches that just as the sun gives light to both wicked and good, and the rain brings nourishment to both righteous and unrighteous, God’s compassion embraces all people.  There are no pre-conditions for it, nothing we need to do first, nothing we have to believe.  When we are ready to receive it, it is there.  And the more we live in its presence, the more effortlessly it flows through us, until we find that we no longer need external rules or Bibles or Messiahs.

“For this teaching which I give you today is not hidden from you, and is not far away.  It is not in heaven, for you to say, ‘Who will go up to heaven and bring it down for us, so that we can hear it and do it?’ Nor is it beyond the sea, for you to say, ‘Who will cross the sea and bring it back for us, so that we can hear it and do it?’  But the teaching is very near to you: it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.”

Monique Rathbun

News about Monique

My comment:

What We Do, Part One

For some orientation to what I would like to over in this essay I begin with a passage from Chapter 25 Epilogue from Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior (Amazon Books, 2013):

     As has been ably reported by Janet Reitman in her book Inside Scientology (Houghton Mifflin, 2011) and by Lawrence Wright in his book Going Clear (Alfred A. Knopf, 2013), L. Ron Hubbard was a very capable marketing man. What they did not acknowledge as much, but did not totally discount, was Ron’s ability to solve problems – including those of the mind and spirit. Ron had a knack for finding out what was bothering people, putting together methods to address those things, and then selling those methods as services – the end-all that people just had to get their hands on.

     The Reitman and Wright books detailed how Ron was continually creating new rundowns, new levels and new packaging to keep the Scientology public enthused over the latest in the mind and spirit.  It was the formula that created continuing expansion of the Scientology empire during L. Ron Hubbard’s life.  A strong customer base was established and continually kept interested and buying as new, essential route-to-total-freedom items were rolled out.

     Because Ron so unequivocally mandated that only Ron could discover, create and memorialize mental and spiritual technology (the only stock-in-trade of the church of Scientology) upon Ron’s death the church’s expansion pattern also died.

     Consequently, David Miscavige took on an unenviable task when he was handed the reins of Scientology Inc.  And those reins were handed to him, whether begrudgingly or not, by Annie Tidman Broeker (Loyal Officer 2) when she sided with Miscavige against her then-husband (Loyal Officer 1) Pat Broeker. Miscavige had no choice but to radically change Scientology’s forty-year expansion pattern.

     The movement had been built and held together primarily through the promise and continual roll-out of new technology. Now Miscavige had to keep that movement going, but with no possibility of introducing new technology. For a while he seemed to have somewhat of a grasp of marketing, but all the marketing in the world could not keep an organization thriving when it had nothing new to sell. At least not an organization whose viability depended on continual emanation of new technology to sell. And by firm religious belief and church doctrine, he was powerless to create any new technology.

These facts – recognized by credible, outside observers and by insiders like myself – are at the heart of why Scientology (the whole package) is as dead as a door nail.  The promises are infinite while the delivery of them is impossible.

The first thing that probably distinguishes us from all others we are aware of who utilize some of the discoveries of Ron Hubbard is that we do not play – in any way, shape, fashion, or form – the baiting evaluation game that comes part and parcel with Scientology.  That is the incessant, overt and covert, game of continuous evaluations along the line of ‘the next roll out will really get you there’, ‘the next level will handle your problem’, ‘you need to act in this fashion so that you see the wisdom of taking your next step’, ‘you’ll understand that when you get to ______’, or any other of the pitches that were memorialized in unalterable, firm Scientology policy and mental technology throughout the years.

That most decidedly includes the insidious safety valve, bait-and-switch line ‘the reason it didn’t work for you was that it was corrupted by someone else, and now we’re going to give you the real thing’ as is so regularly chanted by the church and the shadow it casts, Scientology practitioners outside of the church.  The real thing is precisely what is described in the book passage above: the never-ending promises to the stairway to Heaven that demonstrably does not lead to Heaven.  It more often leads instead to the perfect cognitive storm: holding these two conflicting ideas counterpoised,  a) I have done everything Ron prescribed, so I know everything there is to know, and can never improve because I am already perfect – b) all the while colliding with the deep-down, suppressed self-recognition that the individual has become intolerant, arrogant, callous and miserable.

This find-the-ruin, bait-and-switch mentality is woven into the woof and warp of Scientology.  It gets played from initial marketing to the highest reaches of the bridge. It has always been, both inside the church and without, that those who play it best are sainted with being the most ‘On Source’ (with L. Ron Hubbard) Scientologists.

It also happens to be Ron’s first,  greatest  – and ultimately most fatal – departure from the technology he primarily borrowed from in creating Dianetics and Scientology: Rogerian client-centered psychotherapy.  The second the client is played – in any way, shape, fashion or form – by definition the process is no longer client centered.  Instead, it by definition becomes practitioner – or organization – centered. The road to restoration of self-determinism becomes paved with enforcement of obedient following.

Do I mean to say that Ron was a con?   Do I mean to say that everything he discovered or purported to discover was fraudulent?   No; as you shall see in further installments.  But, I am defining what it is we do and the first thing we do is stay true to the client-centered philosophy that is at the heart of – in fact, is the sine qua non of – all that is workable in Scientology.

Ishmael

 

Some folks have found my repeated reference to the Tao Te Ching to be puzzling.  Some Scientologists have simply used it to write me off as being lost. The Tao is such a radical departure from the ‘philosophy’ Scientologists learn and abide by – even while denying to themselves such adherence exists – that some dismiss it as philosophical gobbledygook.  I have commented on the polar nature of those philosophies (Scientology and the Tao) and noted it as an important reason to become acquainted with the Tao, e.g. The Tao of Scientology.

The fact of the matter is that a consistent construct in Scientology requires the adherent to mock up and act out the identity of conquerer.  For example, a Scientologist is taught to view the universe as an epic struggle of the spirit’s sole mission as the conquest of the physical universe.  Such a view can and often does, if not mitigated by deeper understandings, result in destruction of that which one programs oneself to conquest; not to mention the weakening or destruction of the ‘conquerer’ himself.

Many have recognized this on some level and have departed the church because of the dangerous environment such a philosophy ultimately creates.  Many of them spend years then applying an harmonic of this same warlike philosophy toward the church, ‘it is the church or current management that needs to be conquered.’  Others facilely write off the ‘conquest’ attitude as an attribute of church management and go off to apply what they call ‘real Scientology’ independently.   Inevitably, to the degree they avow to remain loyal to Scientology ‘philosophy’, those independents wind up playing the conquest game against one another.  It happened with the first independent movement in the eighties and the second one more recently.

To the extent one recognizes this mentality in himself he objectivizes it and can thus let it go.  An increase in equanimity and personal peace can ensue.  That which was useful and survival for someone in his or her Scientology experience can more easily and naturally be recognized and reinforced.  That which was of negative worth and non-survival can be recognized and let go of.

The continuing recommendation of the Tao as integral reading and understanding was meant to set this salutary evolution in progress.

But, I understand how ‘left field’ this recommendation can seem to those living the Scientology construct of ‘conquest of matter, energy, space and time’, ‘conquering the reactive mind’, ‘putting ethics in on the planet’, ‘gaining territory for Scientology’, etc.

I just read a book that may help to bridge the gap between the necessity-of-conquest think and learning to let go or living and letting live.  It communicates the essence of the Tao (without ever making any reference to it) in more modern terms.  It does so in an entertaining and currently-relevant fashion.   That book is Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn.  It is a novel that tells a story in a creative, unique and interesting setting  – a story that is captivating in and of itself.  It explores some scientific, philosophic and religious constructs that Scientologists are taught early-on to discard in their entirety – the Bible and Evolution of Species.  In that regard, those who have bought into and scrupulously adhered to Hubbard’s wholesale rejection of such fields will learn a little something about perhaps the two most common poles of thought on this planet.  You don’t have to buy into either of those poles, but I bet you will never look at them (or those who believe in them) the same way.  You might recognize the parallels of both with Scientology philosophy and thus be more able to put Scientology and your experience with it in a sane and nurturing context. Maybe more importantly, you might begin to take a more realistic, informed view of the planet, humanity, and civilization and your participation in it.

The Rest of the Story

From the outset we have represented that at Casablanca we are about the practice of repair, remediation, reconciliation, sane and integrated Scientology progress, graduation and transcendence of and beyond the Scientology experience.

We don’t solicit ‘success stories’ at Casablanca.  My view is that they have been used in the past as a cult positive reinforcement mechanism.   When you audit and coach toward ability – rather than simply release – folks attain abilities through applying what they gain in auditing toward life.   To pin someone down to a statement of result after only subjective, contemplative practice in some ways can act to constrain and limit the potential gains.  In some cases it can set them up for losses since their immediate seemingly miraculous releases don’t seem translatable into abilities in life (in a stat push environment that is often enforced).

We have, however,  maintained a book in our guest apartment where visiting former church members – and those new to Scientology –  stay when they visit.  The book serves the purpose of giving folks a completely voluntary feedback communication line.  I have never published words from the book because for the past several years the church of Scientology has run a propaganda operation against anyone who has expressed success or equanimity restored at Casablanca.  Since we moved into our new quarters near San Antonio that is not of concern because the church has no means for determining who visits us.

I have decided to publish some entries from our guest book now for a couple of reasons. One, we have been at it for so long and so consistently that we have dozens of notes that can’t possibly be traced as to identity (provided I leave out dates). Two, the church has expended so many millions in attempting to destroy our reputation and credibility (and been echo’d by their agents in the field), I want to share what is that we do in the words of those we do it with for balancing the record purposes.

From the Casablanca guest book:

As I write this note, a deep and profound love flows through my body and condenses into my ink and onto the page.  And here it remains in the physical universe as a gift for you both to revisit time and again.  Thank you both for your warm hospitality and abundant theta and for helping to mend the last remnant of a heart that was broken and is now fully healed…there is magic in the world and in this special place, where special beings come and go, the magic is nurtured and cared for and it grows – as it shall continue to grow and fill the whole world and every being in it.

Words cannot describe how I feel towards Marty and Mosey.  But, I can only say that they are devoting and dedicating every moment of their life to help others, like me, to do better as a thetan.  Thank you, Marty my brother and friend for applying standard LRH and helping me to regain my abilities and my self worth.  Mosey, you are one of the most beautiful kind souls I have met in my lifetimes.  Thank you for everything you do.  We are so lucky to have you as our true friend. 

I had (many) years of auditing at the C of S, but nothing like what I had in the last 5 days with Marty.  Marty’s C/Sing is spot on and his auditing is AMAZING!!!!!  

Sometimes less is more.  Sometimes small is big. Sometimes enough is abundance.  Sometimes simple is profound.  These are those times. With heartfelt gratitude and love.

As the week here in Casablanca with you is coming to an end, a new era begins for me.  An era of ‘I’ve got my life back and now the world has to deal with me directly; and no longer vias around me’   I came with a shy hope to sort matters out and now, as I’m parting, I’m at total peace.  What an amazing week it was!! 

—                               

I have spent 2 weeks in Heaven.  I am not a ‘religious’ person in the conventional sense of the word, but I have to say Marty and Mosey are like 2 angels in human form who were sent to guide my way on this journey.  Every wish I had has been granted with such love,tolerance and understanding that nothing could ever top this.  They have taken the ‘granting of beingness’ to a new level.  They epitomize what ‘family’ should be but even more than that.  All I can say is that I hope others can experience what I have.  I love you both (also Chiquita and even Cat !) and wish that  you achieve all your own dreams – you deserve them!

—-

Thank you for taking care of me with such obvious intention to help me find the answers I needed.  Thank you for restoring my Bridge, for restoring my willingness to believe my own thoughts, for teaching me.    Thank you for the most penetrating auditing I have ever received.   Thank you for the expansion I feel, for the huge new understanding I have of myself and of life itself, and thank you for putting together pieces of myself that I thought were lost for this life and maybe forever.

—-

In the past decade I have been to the Freewinds and Flag and I must say my experience here in this simple Casablanca far surpasses all the glitz and glamour of Freewinds and Flag in service, convenience and of course ARC.  I arrived here feeling like this was my last stop before the graveyard. I’m going home feeling a renewed zest for life.

Thank you so much for your hospitality and caring. Session after session the wins kept getting bigger.  I am not afraid to live any more or face the future thanks to your superior auditing. You and Mosey will always have a place in my heart and home.

This has been an experience of a lifetime – I’ve gotten more case gain in four days of auditing – than the entire time in Scientology (decades).  To say I am thankful is such an understatement.  This has been a life saver – an awakening – which opens up a whole new game.

My rediscovery here of the real Scientology has been nothing short of wondrous…Your purpose of bringing LRH’s tech and its workability to the personal level where I believe it was always meant to be has made a huge difference in my life.

An Open Letter to Eddie King

I tried to walk in your shoes on Saturday.

The honor of acting as the father of Christie at her wedding was bestowed upon me.

Christie may have chosen me for this privilege because I remind her so much of you.  She has told me as much on many occasions over the past four years that I have known her.  Just about every time I flip a song, she says with her inimitable smile, ‘my dad and I used to listen to that.’   From Bob Marley to Van Morrison, it seems you and I ride to a similar rhythm.

christie.me

Several times Christie has come to me for life counsel that one would normally reach out to a father for.  And when it is done she often reminisces with a glimmer in her eye that that is exactly how you would have handled it.  Ironically, when such nostalgic moments turn into tears it seems I even console her in a similar way that you used to.

I want to thank you for giving me fulfilling learning and growing opportunities. My only potential child was aborted in compliance with the firm policy of the priesthood of your church that I served most of my adult life in.  But because of your chosen absence I have been graced with the chance to come in touch with a bit of perhaps humankind’s greatest developmental growth experience: parenting.    I have not had to shed the blood, sweat and tears you have in bringing children through birth, childhood, adolescence and into adulthood.   Instead, I have been given the opportunity to temporarily substitute for you for one graduate of yours of that evolution.

rinders

I gave Christie away on Saturday with no doubts or reservations whatsoever.   As noted, apparently I have walked through life with a similar perspective to yours.   Based on the accumulation of whatever wisdom I’ve  been able to retain during that journey, I can assure you there is no finer man to be found than her husband Michael John Rinder.   He is a man of conscience molded in a crucible of adversity that few are adventurous enough to ever experience.  Few have lived a life of such selfless devotion and weathered as many vicissitudes as Mike.  And of those few, I am unaware of any who came out the back end with so much love, hope and tolerance as Mike.  You could not find a better father for your grandchildren.

jackandshane

Your grandchildren are the living proof of what I am trying to convey to you.  At fourteen months of age, Jack is a veritable lighthouse.   I think anyone who has been in his presence will agree.  He lights up every space he enters.  Shane, all of six years old, is as intelligent, mature, and at the same time insouciant, as any child I have known.

And at the center of this family, the sun that nourishes it with life-giving light, of course, is the Queen of the Slipstream – your daughter Christie King Rinder.

Thank you for letting me know and be part of this incredible family.

I want you to know that I still abide by our shared team sports ethos.  I recognize and accept that I am merely a lowly substitute.  I am doing my best to simply not let the comfortable lead you – the star – created slip away while you starters catch your breath.

There is an old proverb that says, your home is where your heart is.  When you find it in your heart to come home I will gladly step aside and be the first (of thousands) to celebrate you.

You Will Know

Don’t bother reading Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior.   All I was trying to say was said much more succinctly and melodiously by others long before I bothered messing with it.

Lyrics:

Songwriters: ARCHER, MICHAEL D’ANGELO / ARCHER, LUTHER
Mmm…hmm…hmm…mmm…hmm… Yeah, yeah
When I was a young boy I had visions of fame They were wild and they were free They were blessed with my name
And then I grew older And I saw what’s to see That the world is full of pain And my dreams they left me
And then I got stronger Inside of the pain That’s when I picked up the pieces And I regained my name
And I fought hard, y’all To call by my place And right now you could ask me And it all seems in vain
[Your dreams ain’t easy] Your dreams ain’t easy [You just stick by your plan] You just stick by your plan [Go from boys to men] Go from boys to men [You must act like a man] You gotta act like a man [When it gets hard, y’all] When it gets hard, y’all [You just grab what you know] Got what you know [Stand up tall and don’t you fall] And my background sing
You will know [You will know], yeah…eah… [You will know] [You will know] You will know, you will know [You will know]
And I know you’re cryin’ ‘Cause it’s all in his vein And the things you want you can’t have It just all went away
But life ain’t over Hoo…hoo… Just grab the winds and make demands And the vibe will take you far
[Your dreams ain’t easy] Your dreams ain’t easy [You just stick by your plan] Stick by your plan, boy [Go from boys to men] Go from boys to men [You must act like a man] I know it ain’t easy [When it gets hard, y’all] it gets hard sometime [You just grab what you know] Yes, it does [Stand up tall and don’t you fall] Stand up tall, don’t you fall, and you will know, yeah
[You will know] [You will know] Ah…ah…ah… (You will know) [You will know] Hey, there’s no doubt about it [You will know] Hey, you will know
[You will know] You will know [You will know] Hey…ey…hey… [You will know] You will know, yeah [Oh, you will know] Hey…
[Your dreams ain’t easy] Your dreams ain’t easy [You just stick by your plan] Stick by your plans [Go from boys to men] Boys to men [You must act like a man] You must act like a man [When it gets hard, y’all] It ain’t hard, yeah [You just grab what you know] Grab what you know [Stand up tall and don’t you fall] Oh…oh…oh…
[Your dreams ain’t easy] [You just stick by your plan] Hey…hey…yeah [Go from boys to men] Boys to men [You must act like a man] I know it ain’t easy [When it gets hard, y’all] [You just grab what you know] Yeah… [Stand up tall and don’t you fall] Come on D and sing this song
[You will know] Yeah… [You will know] You will know [You will know] [You will know] Hey…
[You will know] [You will know] [You will know] [Oh, you will know]

Cults, Enemies and Shadows

In the early eighties with the figurative barbarians at the gates of his Scientology kingdom  L. Ron Hubbard wrote a dispatch to his personal services organization, Author Services Inc. (ASI), that stated in sum and substance: a man’s worth can be judged by the stature of his enemies.  At the time he was referring to the fact that virtually all major news media, the U.S. Department of Justice (including the FBI), the IRS, and a number of other state, provincial and federal agencies in several countries were in hot pursuit of Ron.

In its context the advice from Ron seemed intended to steady the resolve and nerve of those he had appointed with defending against his formidable enemies.  There is some truth to his little axiom.  Whether it is honorable to have so many law enforcement agencies after you is another question entirely.  Under Ron’s standard, Osama Bin Laden would be more worthy than anyone in recent memory – including Ron himself.

Something I find interesting is the number of people who twenty-seven years after Ron’s death seem to derive their own sense of worth by virtue of obsessively continuing to go after L. Ron Hubbard.  More than a quarter century after Ron’s death it seems that an active cult thrives on the central religious practice of spitting on his grave.

Ironically, the members of the cult regularly, blatantly and shameless exhibit many of the behaviors they so indignantly protest in the cult Ron left behind. They engage in thought-stopping, censorship by censure, judgmentalism, stereotyping, ‘ends justify the mean’s,’ etc.  You name the cult characteristic they accuse Ron of and they have it down in spades themselves. If someone gives Ron the slightest credit for ever having displayed any human tendency that individual is castigated, condemned and shunned violently.  If a member of the anti Ron cult steadfastly pledges allegiance to, and demonstrates it consistently,  condemning everything about Ron or the cult he left behind – or even anyone who credits Ron with any act that cannot be characterized as demonic -, why, that member is honored and can be seen to do no wrong.  Hell, he could figuratively get away with murder.

The central, most unifying unwritten tenet of the anti Ron cult is that solely by virtue of condemning Ron they are somehow victims and have thus demonstrated honorable behavior.  Notwithstanding that while the church of Scientology is renowned for over-aggressive dealings with critics, the most prominent members of the anti-Ron cult have never had a glove laid upon them by Scientology.  Most cult members attempt to position themselves with those who have in fact been dogged by Scientology. However, they have also conveniently  omitted from the hagiographies they have constructed for their heroes that most of the folks they emulate have sold out to Scientology for hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars.  So, you can add hyporcrisy to the list of cult-like qualities of those obsessing with Ron.

One theme I believe that may have been apparent in Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior is that Ron Hubbard became the effect of factors he could have conquered by application of the very principles he codified.  In particular, Ron’s decision to engage with and destroy his enemies resulted in his unhappy demise.  It stemmed from his violation of the following fundamental Dianetics and Scientology principle which violation mars the cult of his creation to this day: that which one obsessively resists one becomes.  It seems to me that by so aggressively demonizing Hubbard, his enemies have followed suit on that score too.

It makes me think that Ron (and the cult that arose to demonize him and yet wound up mimicking him) should have taken the advice of Lao Tzu to heart when he wrote in the Tao Te Ching that one ought to consider one’s enemy as the shadow he himself casts.

related reading: The Great Middle Path Redux

Don’t Read This Book

Memoirs_Scn_Warrior_front_for_web

Those who ought to steer clear of the book Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior, available next week on Amazon Books:

Folks who consider Scientology their faith and who are unsettled by or uncomfortable with anything that might rattle their beliefs.

Those who wish to live in the comfort of having established who’s and why’s for all of Scientology’s travails.

Folks who wish to remain comfortably numb about the many sacred, yet apparently invisible, elephants in the Scientology room.

Those who might feel threatened by losing their adopted bogeymen that explain everything.  

Angry Scientologists who find comfort in clinging to fixed ideas about the subject.

Angry ex-Scientologists who find comfort in clinging to fixed ideas about the subject.

Folks who just have to have an enemy in order to be happy.

Those who bristle at the notion that Scientologists ought to integrate, evolve and transcend.

If you fit into one or more of the above categories, Memoirs probably ain’t your cup of tea.

 

Can I Get A Witness?

At its core Scientology revolves around the auditing process.  The word auditing comes from the Latin root audire which means to listen, or to listen and compute.  The entire purpose of a Scientology auditor is to provide a construct through which an individual may look at his or her life in such an honest fashion that that which is viewed no longer has a hold on that person.  Scientology postulates that ‘charge’ (mental energy) ‘erases’ through that process.  One could just as easily postulate that one’s witnessed experience objectifies.  That is, one’s experience moves from the subjective (part of, and thus affecting, oneself) to the objective.  In that construct, matters of the mind that tend to drive one on an automatic basis are no longer hidden and automatic.  Objectivized matter of the mind is no more capable of driving you than any other person or idea that you can clearly see as apart from yourself. Your own choice in the matter of what to do, what to choose, what to pursue and what to react to is restored to you.  Each time one witnesses in this wise one recognizes that much more the true nature of self, apart from, and thus less subject to, matter, energy, space and time.  Witnessing led the Buddha toward recognizing the impermanent nature of matter, energy, space and time.

It is my view that any time devoted to honestly viewing the content of your mind, your experience, is progress in moving the external world back out of one’s head where it no longer drives you.  There used to be a saying in Scientology, ‘any auditing is better than no auditing.’  No matter what processes, what grades, what levels attained or not, every hour spent objectivizing the subjective is net gain.  There is so much emphasis included in Scientology about the attainment of grades and levels, and purported permanent states of consciousness that the failure to attain very high on the Scientology Bridge (the chart of progressive grades and levels of spiritual attainment) tends to serve to invalidate the work a person did execute in witnessing his or her own mind.

Scientology contains so much dogma asserting superiority to and difference from all other forms of witnessing that people tend to lose site that they spent a tremendous amount of time and effort doing just that, witnessing.  I use the term ‘witnessing’ because it is a generic term that captures what is at the heart of all effective psychotherapeutic and spiritual practices.  Most forms of meditation (Buddhist, Hindu, Taoist, et al), most forms of psychotherapy, and Scientology too, create a desirable effect to the extent the individual applying it fully, honestly views the mind.

Any meditator who discounts effective psychotherapy that accomplishes the same result as meditation, or any psychotherapist who discounts effective meditation that accomplishes the same result as psychotherapy, is as narrow minded and prejudiced as any Scientologist who discounts meditation and psychotherapy wholesale.   Corollary, any former Scientologist who discounts his own blood, sweat and tears exerted in confronting his own demons with Scientology is selling himself short.  Witnessing is witnessing.  Meditation, effective psychotherapy, and Scientology are all different methods of helping – and are workable to the degree they allow –  an individual to witness his own mind and its experiences.

Do yourself a favor.  Try to consider that someone who has spent time in other similar practices has spent time witnessing just as you did in Scientology.  See if that doesn’t open up an interesting world of increased affinity, reality and communication.  Just as importantly, validate the time and effort you put in likewise.  You might find you are in better shape than you have previously permitted yourself to believe.