You may have noticed I haven’t been too active on the blog for the past week. I’ve been busy and will fill you in here on some of it.
If there is a single policy that can be identified as causing the most widespread harm to independent thought in Scientology it is “Disconnect.” Its remedy is simple. Don’t agree with it. Instead of continuing to be shackled by other-determined disconnection, simply and effortlessly reconnect. As much weakening and uncertainty that other-determined disconnection brings, self-determined Reconnection brings comparable strength and certainty. I have had a week of it and found it beyond invigorating and productive.
We had a most inspiring week along the Underground Railroad of the Great Lakes region.
First, Monique and I spent a couple days with the irrepressible Sarge.
Old compadres at Lake Michigan
Sarge doing street performance; as entertaining as ever.
Sarge and I got to do some exploring along the original, historic Underground Railroad of Southern Michigan. We viewed the caves where escaped slaves were hidden from bounty hunters on their way along the railroad to Canada. This outing was inspiring and gave perspective for our Underground Railroad planning for the region. Around the Great Lakes our railroad now has active stop-overs in Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Minnesota, and Ontario.
Checking out underground railroad cave along the St Joseph river
I was able to spend some quality time with my old comrade Jesse Prince. Jesse was the last man to security check David Miscavige at LRH’s direction. Jesse got his withholds and duly reported them to LRH. Unfortunately, the report never made it because it went through Broeker who was implicated in Miscavige’s crimes. So, LRH was kept in the dark and the rest is our own dark history. Because Jesse was unwilling to choose sides in the Broeker/Miscavige power struggle he was targeted for extinction by DM. But, you can’t keep a good man down – and Jesse is a Phoenix if there ever was one.
Distant Relatives
Jesse marked an interesting sort of tipping point. I calculated the number of years of RTC service that terminals available and connected to Miscavige have combined vs the number of years of RTC service that terminals connected with me in present time have. Well, Jesse just tipped the balance in our favor.
Our own modern day Harriet Tubman made this underground railroad pilgramage possible. Those who have done much alternate, common people oriented history study know this is about the highest compliment one could pay any one (for a quick synopsis see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Tubman ). Well, I’m paying it. Harriet, in keeping with the original’s expertise at Fabian tactics, will remain unnamed for the moment.
I learned quite a bit from Sarge and Jesse and other brothers I met with along the way.
If you are in the mood to invest a few minutes, you can listen the song below. It explains why I refer to Jesse and Sarge and Harriet and all of you as distant relatives.
You may have caught wind of some government action recently taken to ban certain Scientology publications in Russia. Max Hauri, who formed the largest independent Scientology service facility in the world to my knowledge, wrote to me of the problem recently. I inquired of Max whether they needed money or other types of support. He said they did not need that. In fact, he said the best thing that Independents in other countries could do was to continue the work to differentiate Scientology the practice from the Church of Scientology the organization. Max, who is intimately familiar with the local situation and its causes, is convinced it is the espionage and Machiavellian activies of Miscavige’s church that has brought about the current state of affairs in Russia. I asked Max to put a little something together to explain the situation from his perspective. His article follows. While Max encourages us to pick up what we are doing stateside, I don’t think it will hurt for anyone with influence or reliable terminals in Russia to drop Max a line, theta@ronsorg.ch.
Max Hauri
The Shades of Night
During 1997 some Russians contacted us and wanted to know about the delivery of Scientology, independent of the church. So we went there and started to deliver from scratch – HQS and on up to the OT levels. I’ll keep it very short on that now, but it was an extremely intensive time and a lot of things happened of course, including visits of the FSB (i.e. KGB).
The subject I am writing about is actually KSW 1, having the correct technology. We were very lucky as the law and government structures were almost not existent so nobody cared about copyright. Or at least nobody did, or could do, anything against translating and disseminating the books, bulletins and tapes in Russian.
It was really great to see how Scientology expands if it is not suppressed.
First there was of course almost no bad reputation about Scientology extant but later on it started and became stronger and stronger.
Divide et Impera, in English Divide and Rule, or also known as Divide and Conquer. Machiavelli advised that a Captain should endeavor with every art to divide the forces of the enemy, either by making him suspicious of his men in whom he trusted, or by giving him cause that he has to separate his forces, and, because of this, become weaker.
Miscavige did just an “awfully good job” in that so that the press and mass media have endless stories about “how bad Scientology is”. Due to that it is factually very easy to convince any official that he or she has to do something about it.
Since I left the church, I know factually that all Scientologists are good and dedicated people, there is rarely an exception. Unfortunately there is one big exception.
Thanks to the aggressive work by Miscavige, in Germany you run into problems with an official every once in a while. A friend of mine wants to have his child in a nursery. He told me yesterday that he would have to sign a document that he is not doing Scientology, nor having any contact with it, nor having ever done etc. It is just discrimination. Those capable of reading German can see an example here, page 14 and 15: http://www.justiz.bayern.de/imperia/md/content/stmj_internet/gerichte/oberlandesgerichte/nuernberg/rref/bewerbung_alle_vordrucke.pdf
So getting rid of the suppression of the church has priority. In other words Miscavige has to be stopped suppressing Scientologists and Scientology.
In Russia we run now into even more severe troubles. Hopefully we can handle it soon, lawyers are already evaluating the scene. A few months ago approximately four tape series had been found to be extremist and will be banned from distribution in Russia, and a few weeks ago almost all of the Scientology books too. Those who can read Cyrillic can see it here, nr. 632-660: http://www.minjust.ru/ru/activity/nko/fedspisok/
The punishment for disseminating those items ranges from a fine of 3,000 Rubles up to imprisonment.
We have clever and dedicated Scientologists in Russia, I hope they can do something about it, it is a serious threat.
I have to advise you strongly to support the activities of Marty and Mike, it is important that we improve the PR of Scientology from inside, it is devastating if Scientologists are leaving the church with all those horrible stories – which are, worst of all, so very true and often impossible to put into words at all.
The other advice I have to give to you, apply Scientology, deliver. You have the liberty, use it. You will realize what liberty is when you lose it – again.
Do not let it happen again.
“The shades of night. Now we’ve got a period here of a very short space of time.”
“But it became terribly important to them to shut all the boundaries on knowledge. And you’ve seen those things, those curtains shutting down. And those were the shades of night falling.” PDC 21.
Mike, Haydn and I visited Sydney for several days, spoke to Bryan Seymour from Channel 7, were followed by private investigators on a regular basis and despite that had quite a nice time there.
On Friday we drove down to Melbourne, approximately a 10 hour trip with the specific intention of visiting Mike’s mother and brother. Mike’s mother is in her 80’s. He has not seen her for about 8 years. She is unable to travel all the way out to America for a visit, so this could have likely been Mike’s last chance to see his aging mother.
Even after Mike left the Sea Org and prior to speaking on the record with the St. Pete Times in the summer of last year he was in regular communication with his Mom. She wrote him letters telling him about her grandchildren, and her activities and chit chatting about nice things. He wrote her the same kind of letters back and they were having a very nice time being in communication. There was no talk about the church between them.
However after Mike spoke on the record to the St. Pete Times he received disconnection letters from his Scientologist family members, his Mom included. These were obviously letters they were told to write, many of them sounding strangely similar to each other ordering him to go contemplate a rock until he decided to change his ways.
It is my belief that his mother was very saddened by this and that she would have much rather remained in communication. Her disconnection letter was far less harsh than the others. Due to her age she had earlier stated herself that she will not be doing any more services this lifetime as she is OT VIII and could neither travel to Flag nor the Freewinds, and it was obvious that she was taking much pleasure in having the comm line with Mike.
This was a total perversion of PTS/SP technology. There was nothing suppressive about her comm line with her son and she was forced to cut the line due to the control designed by David Miscavige. She now lives in a retirement home/assisted living facility in Melbourne near her only other son, Andrew. If she refused to disconnect from Mike she would also lose the support of Andrew and the right to spend time with him and his children, and her great grandchildren as well. These are usually the most important things in the life of an elderly grandmother. So you can understand the tough position she has been put in.
On Saturday morning we headed out to the nursing home where Barbara Rinder has been staying. Having had a lot of PI activity during our trip so far, it was strikingly quiet that morning. I said to Mike that I feared the church had sent his mother away for the weekend, because if she had been in town we would have had a lot more noise already. When we got to the nursing home Mike and I went to the front desk. There was nobody there immediately and we met a very nice elderly woman named Frances who was also a resident of the nursing home. She told us that she knew Barbara, and that Barbara had gone on a trip to Adelaide for nine days.
We did eventually speak to a receptionist and somebody who was in charge of the place who confirmed for us that Barbara was not there. They tried to whisk us away very rapidly as well, and it smelled as if they had been briefed to expect us.
It was clear that they knew we were coming. Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw had been sent to Australia a week before we arrived to try and shore up the local Scientologists from being influenced by the SPs that were about to arrive. No doubt part of their Mission was to ensure that Mike’s mother was not there so that she and her son could not be reunited one last time.
However, after the Receptionist had tried to send us on our way, Frances came out to our car and said “Don’t mind that woman. She likes to boss everybody around. Would you like me to show you where Barbara stays?“ Of course, we would!
We spent quite some time with Frances — she showed us where Barbara’s room was. There was a sign on the door with her name. A cleaning lady had been nearby cleaning and she let us see inside of the room. Mike pointed to a picture of his Dad that was on the desk, Barbara’s deceased husband. Seeing her room, speaking to one of her mates, knowing that she spent much of her time right where we were standing, but that Mike was unable to see her or speak to her brought me to tears and I stepped away for a moment to collect myself.
Mike is one of the most considerate, decent and loyal persons I have met. He deserves the right to see his own mother and she has the right to be in communication with him. David Miscavige has taken pleasure in ensuring that this does not happen. The whole thing was utterly suppressive and sick.
We decided to buy a card and some chocolates for Barbara and Frances. We took some pictures and chatted quite a bit with Frances who was a very sweet lady. I’m sure she will relay to Barbara how lovely her son Mike was, that she was fortunate enough to spend some time with him, and the other girl (myself) that came with him from the USA. She showed us pictures of her children and grandchildren and some of her accomplishments from her life. I took some pictures of her and Mike and Frances insisted that she get her camera and take some for her to keep as well. She was very happy to meet us and walked us to our car, waved goodbye and watched us drive away until she could no longer see us, waving the whole time.
She was very similar to how I imagined Barbara might be. Although we did not get to see Barbara, I know that the message will get through to her. Mike still loves her and always will. Her friend will be sure to let her know.
Francis, Mike & Christie outside the nursing home
After that we also went to Andrew’s house that was very close by, just to be sure. Nobody was there either and we assume that he took Barbara away. Mike left a card for Andrew in the mailbox as well.
This is just an example of thousands of similar instances of families being torn apart by the suppressive and evil works of David Miscavige and his church, and is why they must be brought to justice.
But we didn’t let him spoil our trip.
We left, had a delicious Australian lunch, and then met with the lovely Heather Grace, a regular here on Marty’s blog. We met at the zoo, found some koalas & kangaroos, and had dinner and drinks together. It was a wonderful time.
The following day we went to watch an Australian rules football game – otherwise known as “footy” and thoroughly enjoyed sitting next to two local and very vocal sports fans who were more fun than watching the game due to their constant banter back and forth (rooting for opposite teams) and the hilarious expressions they used.
Richmond Team Supporter: “What do you call a man with a rabbit stuck up his ass?”
North Melbourne Team Supporter: “I don’t know?”
Richmond Team Supporter: “You call him Warren…… here comes Warren!” (Warren being the name of a player on the opposite team whom he was having a go at).
It has come to my attention recently that a couple of people have used good things I’ve said about them in the past to establish trust relationships with others and then severely breached those trusts. One was a formal auditing relationship. Another started relationships under the pretext of using Scientology to help sort people’s lives out. In each of those instances the person trusted took advantage of those who trusted them on the 2D.
A lot of people have asked me to give my blessings for them to start a 2D with someone. For some time now, I have given the same pat advice to whomever asks. That is something like this:
The Second Dynamic is one of eight dynamics; it is no more or less important than any other one. The 2D can be very abberative for a number of reasons. One strong reason is the genetic and hormonal urge to forward the species is connected with the 2D. My advice is that no matter how strong the passion, no matter how strong the “electricity”, you’d best remember that the Second Dynamic is only one of eight dynamics. If you are so hardwired to the body that the second is all that seems to matter, then you ought not be making decisions on the second dynamic. You ought to be using the many tools that can help span your attention and raise your tone so as to become aware of all your dynamics. If you are going to get into a relationship you are in for trouble if you don’t take care to be sure the prospective relationship aligns with the rest of your dynamics. If it does not you are guaranteed trouble. If it does, you’ve got it made.
When it comes to hearing of people using a relationship of trust, whether it is a formal auditing relationship, acting as a Chaplain or an Ethics Officer, or any other Scientology advisor type of relationship, I have zero tolerance. I happen to agree with what LRH says about the matter in Science of Survival:
An auditor who is a wise auditor will steadfastly refuse sexual relations with a preclear. The auditor who yields to temptation at this level finds himself in a bad situation because his preclear is on the way up and will shortly pass this propitiative level and achieve more honorable levels of the Tone Scale. Auditors who, knowing this, permit themselves such actions are themselves at the 1.1 level and have no business auditing. None but a despicable cur would seek to benefit from this phenomenon; none but a chronic or acute psychotic would find enjoyment in it.
Promiscuity is a 1.1 trait, pure and simple. It tears orgs apart. It is tearing the international Scientology org network apart at this moment because it is unchecked at the very top.
I have no authority nor inclination to probe into or control peoples’ personal lives and will make no effort to do so. Far be it for a guy who gets busted on Bourbon Street to be moralizing. At the same time, I have standards when it comes to actions that adversely effect others and particularly when someone uses my name or Scientology to do so. If someone starts abusing Scientology to obtain sexual favors, he or she is no friend of mine.
This is an ethics gradient. No names. However, if in the future I find anyone using an alleged friendship with me to establish a Scientology relation of trust along this line, next time there will be names.
While we are on the subject of the 2D, I have a little something that might blow some charge, or perhaps bypass some depending on your point of view. I saw some fairly extensive notes of LRH that he wrote in his final years. He quite explicitly stated that the entire problem with breach of monogamy (beyond the physical risk of STDs) is the breach of trust and the lies connected with it. He said nary a word about whole track implants and the like (i.e. Pain and Sex). For the robots who want to accuse me of “verbal tech”, what am I to do? DM will never publish the writings to which I refer – he is way too sick on the 2d for them to see the light of day. Am I to just keep what I observed to myself? When pigs fly. You can take it or leave it.
The Second Dynamic can be a beautiful thing that enhances all other dynamics. After all, it encompasses the activity of creation. Why destroy in the name of creation?
I was overwhelmed by all of your comments to my confession post. Individually and cumulatively it was like I received the most appropriate acknowledgement I’d ever received – certainly more powerful and more appropriate than anything anyone could pay big bucks for in the church.
I was reminded of a passage in the State of Man series:
All right. If we’re going to have anything connected whatsoever with a third dynamic, then it must be that the people in Scientology will have to have both the technology and the opportunity to be Clear, and should get there. But there’s evidently now something new about clearing. There is a stage of clearing, of getting Clear, which is getting Clear on the third dynamic before they get Clear on the first.
Now, I’ve told you for a long time that auditing was a third dynamic situation. And sure enough, we have to clear somebody on the third dynamic before we clear him on the first. And all those case failures that we have had to this time have been because we’ve been trying to clear people on the first before we cleared them on the third. Do you see that?
An auditor-preclear situation is a third dynamic situation. That’s a third dynamic situation. And clearing a person starts right there in that auditing session. Now, any HCA can tell you better than I can – I think the number of the Auditor’s Code is 9, though, isn’ it? Isn’t that it? Whichever one it is. It’s “two-way comm must be established.” It’s a breach of the Auditor’s Code actually. We’ve had it with us for years. But what did this mean?
Well, this meant, essentially, that the preclear had to be willing to talk to the auditor. Well now, several things have to be guaranteed before this takes place. And one of the things that has to be guaranteed is that the preclear has some security in talking to the auditor that the information will not be falsely used. Isn’t that right?
audience: Yes.
So this leaves us with an organizational responsibility heavier and bigger than we have ever had in the past. We’ve now got to go all out and make sure that a certificate means, wherever it is to be found, that confidence can be reposed in the person as a confidant. Isn’t that right?
audience: Yes. Uh-huh.
That organizationally, the information passing over organizational channels and so forth is inviolate — we have to be able to guarantee that, right?
audience: Right.
Of course, as we all know by now, the C of M has reversed that concept right around to where institutionally the church is programmed to use information falsely against its own people.
And then came the realization that, notwithstanding lack of structure or seniors and juniors, we have a third dynamic as the Old Man envisaged. We have people connected around the world who understand what it takes to create as-isness, who understand and live the Auditor’s Code (without effort), and who in fact constitute a third dynamic that makes Clearing possible and consequently has infinitely more potential than the MEST-laden, money motivated house of extortion.
Before the St Pete Times ever ran, and I first heard of DM’s absurd “deny everything” defense, I mentioned to Mike Rinder that the only way out for Miscavige was for him to take a measure of responsibility for the felonious conduct we were attempting to have ceased. I also mentioned it to Anderson Cooper in a segment that didn’t make the cut. I told Anderson that the prediction was based on a fundamental Scientology principle, a principle that Kentucky basketball coach Rick Pitino had then-recently very succinctly stated in layman terms. Pitino was accused of having an affair. Rather than deny it, he held a press conference and made a clean breast of it. He said “if you tell the truth, it becomes your past; if you lie, it becomes your future.”
I think we are hurtling into the future , while those behind the wall cling to the past.
All because you cats know your stuff and live by it.
Against the advice of several close friends and in agreement with the advice of several other close friends, and with the blessings of all of them, I have decided to go to public confession.
After Independents’ weekend, a beautiful wedding, another wonderful wedding in New York for family, Mosey and I stole off for some private time at our favorite steam-release venue, the Big Easy.
I tend to work hard, fight hard, and will most likely die hard. Problem is, I tend also to play hard.
For the past several months I’ve created quite a bit of pressure for myself. The past two months have been particularly intense. I have not been able to schedule a day for delivery since the day in April when JB arrived at the shack. The church’s response was well chronicled at the outset. We have been busy since along a justice line of endevour; while batting away DM’s agents like an unending swarm of mosquitoes.
The pressure came to a head in my universe last weekend. I had been working on a declaration in the Headley case. I knew once I signed it and it was filed, the game would take on a whole new dimension. I would be subjected to a new array of harassment techniques, right at the time I need to be settling down and producing a living. I was wrestling with ideas of how to gracefully bow out of entering the legal arena.
Last Friday, the night before I put my name in ink on the declarations, was our last night in New Orleans. I decided to go for broke in releasing steam. I knew it would be my last chance for many months to come.
We found ourselves the perfect r&b venue deep down Bourbon Street. We knocked back Hurricanes till we had the whole place doing the Electric Slide and Cupid’s Shuffle. Then the shots came. I did not know they were 180 proof till the next day when I tracked down the waitress to ask what it was that blindsided me.
At one point I bolted for the door for some air and space; unfortunately without informing the love of my life, who never would have allowed the following to happen. A kid was dribbling a basketball down the crowded street. You may have heard the racist joke about what happens when you roll a basketball down the street in certain neighborhoods. Well, I am the living proof it is not a race thing. I was raised on hoops and instinctively went and checked the kid. We both put on ball handling displays while checking one another, and of course talking a lot of trash.
Some horseback cops showed up and told me it was time to go home. I told them I had to fetch my wife first and headed back for the club. The doorman wouldn’t let me in with no shirt (which I stripped for the hoopless basketball contest). The cops didn’t appreciate my pit stop and pinned me against the wall with their horses. I didn’t tamely submit, though I never laid a hand on anyone.
I spent the next fourteen hours in the Hole at the Orleans Parish Prison. Ultimately, I learned quite a lot in the OPP Hole.
I had approximately 50 cell mates. Most were in for far more serious raps than the drunk and disorderly misdemeanors I was booked on.
I annoyed and entertained for the first few hours while I was still high as a kite. When it sunk in that I didn’t know where Mosey was and she didn’t know where I was I snapped into sobriety and anxiety.
And this lead to the lessons. First, the OPP Hole was a far more humane environment than the DM Hole at Int. In OPP, the First Amendment right to freedom of expression was not suppressed, not by the authorities nor by the prisoners. Even when my speech offended some no one resorted to nor even threatened violence.
When I was quietly lamenting about having no means to find Mosey, a particularly scary looking twenty-something kid with dreds approached me. He was up on his third drug charge (guaranteeing hard time in Angola and guaranteeing disqualification for any meaningful employment for the rest of his life). He gently took me aside and two-way commed me into some rationality. I then took interest in his story and those of others similarly situated. I returned the favor that had been done for me to several others. There wasn’t a single criminal in that cell whom I did not get along with and find something to like about. Every conversation I had was deeper and more meaningful and more caring than any conversation that was ever permitted in DM’s Hole.
Other Hole comparisons:
There were no attempted, let alone coerced, confessions in the OPP.
There was air conditioning in the OPP, something sometimes cut off as punishment in DM’s Hole.
There were some tough guards in the OPP, but never were they cruel or abusive as is required in DM’s Hole. And even one of them took interest in my personal dilemna.
There was no requirement to salute anyone, much less dogs.
There were no humiliating games like “musical chairs.”
There was no talk about people’s mothers – in fact, I got the distinct impression that was the one thing that would permit unbridled violence in OPP. I compared that to DM’s obsession to slander my mother who passed away nearly fifty years ago.
By mid afternoon on Saturday, Mosey and Jason Beghe had arranged my release. As I walked through the ghetto shirtless, and after receiving a couple other small acts of kindness from perfect down-and-out strangers, and then contemplating the OPP vs DM’s Hole, any doubts about what I would do with the Headley declaration dissolved.
Mosey and I returned to Bourbon Street, located some eye witnesses, debriefed them, and hired an inexpensive attorney. When the attorney briefed the City Attorney on what my witnesses had to say they dropped the charges as long as I forfeited my $300 bond which I did.
I have a motion pending to expunge the record in the case. It was done for the SOLE purpose of preventing the church from using it in court in its inimitable, sleazy style to divert attention from more serious matters at hand. Having publicly exposed the matter myself, I might well have wasted several hundred dollars on that motion. But, I felt compelled to speak now for two reasons:
First, because of recent developments, I am about to be disclosing some information about the dictator and his organization that is going to cause an incredible urge on his part to speed the arrival of my demise. I need a clean heart to withstand what I anticipate will be coming.
Second, recently there have been many what I consider to be over-the-top comments on this blog praising my character. If I’ve put forth my good side that much, you are entitled to know about the other side of me too. I have said it before that I am no angel and this movement is not about following some leader. I do not seek to be a leader. I have drawn inspiration from a wide variety of sources. One of them is social activist and rapper Chuck D of Public Enemy. He very effectively used the rap genre to help African-Americans raise their consciousness so as to erase slavery and colonialism mindsets that had been carefully cultivated over generations.
Chuck D said early in his career that he did not seek to be a leader, but instead his aim was to help create 5,000 black leaders. That has been, and remains a goal of mine: to help create 5,000 independent Scientologist leaders.
I went down for a spell, but I am not out by any means.
Thank you all for listening.
Special thanks to my brothers and sisters Ann, Karen, Mike, Christie, Tiziano, Jamie, JB, and Michael to whom this is not news and who pushed me back in the ring after Mosey and Jason pulled my sorry ass off the canvas.
I think of all ya’ll every time I hear this song, which is a lot lately.
Friends Lyrics: Nas & Damian Marley
[Sampled Vocal Intro]
[Chrous 1 ‐ Sample]
[Verse 1 ‐ JR. Gong]
These later days in Babylon
As I watch your children grow
And the years them carry on
And I miss you even more
Still I send them go to school
And tell them
What dem fi know
All of mi friend dem mi salute
Daddi gon and Lenny Screw
Another year has come and past
Man a drop like morning dew
Uncle Warrick sick and gone
When him couldn’t catch a flew
Picka T you a mi don
Respect long and overdue
When nothing never did a gwan
You still have on somethin’ new
Our friendship ever last
All when one minus from few
Yes we surely had a blast
We’re like family Me and you
A nuh every path you cross
Lead to somebody whe true
Of the many that are called
Only chosen is a few
[Chorus 2 – JR. Gong]
Of the real friends that serve you long
Your memories might fade
Your real friends will serve you long
Sunshine or rain
Your real friends will serve you long
Acquaintances will fade
Your real friends wont do you wrong
Real friend don’t change
[Verse 2 – Nas]
Only talking with winners
A loser or two
Got my number
Still they think they real
But they just really awfully bitter
Salty n-ggaz Hate the smarter ones
These are the doubters
Who s our ‘bout my run
I barely made it out the slums
My value high Cause I do more than
Rap about a gun
I made money for n-ggaz
Ya’ll never looking out for none
I helped millionaires get to that very position
Some real millionaires see that’s ill
Cause look at statistics
Real millionaires
And I ain’t talking ghetto riches
Thorough business
You mistreating n-ggaz
Heard your folks bleed in prison
You ain’t a G
And if you was
I don’t recall
Who would roll with ya’ll
Bunch a f-cking know it alls
Who’s dough is small
Look what’s it come to
Our rapport’s good no more
We was good before
Till I saw what type a dude you took me for
We had a chance to take paper down
What I took was more
Because of hatred
Opportunity wasted
[Chorus 3 – JR. Gong]
Your real friends will serve you long
Your car and clothes will fade
Your real friend wont do you wrong
Real friend don’t change Eh
[Verse 3 – JR. Gong]
Your real friend won’t run in war
Nuh care what the cost is
You real friends are in for all the wins and the losses
Fi Real!
No question at all
Them ready fi rise the tallest
Take to the enemies
All for one
And one for all this
Real friend will hear you out
No secret feelings
Real friends won’t sell you out
No bargain pleading
For real!
Always looking out
A meal!
When outside a drought
Your real!
Friend won’t hide you out
No
[Chorus 4 – JR. Gong]
Your real friends will serve you long
When all else fails
Your real friend wont do you wrong
Real friend don’t change
[Verse 4 – Nas]
May laughter
From backstabbers
Turn to tears faster
I wish for you
No snake shall slither past ya
You have to
Keep your vision clear
Cause only a coward lives in fear
My surroundings
Got only real powerful n-ggaz here
Real men we have a code of ethics
No question
No jealousies
No feminine tendencies
We expecting
No gossip
No phony logic
No counting your homey pocket
Spare no expense for legal defense
If your homey locked up
No keeping tabs
On who was the last who looked out
Selfishness
That’s a character flaw
No holding out
Yo what happened to the honor?
You’re dealing with
Sensitive Pre‐Madonna drama
Teflon love
For my dudes who solid
[Chorus 5 – JR. Gong]
Your real friends will serve you long
Your memories might fade
Your real friends will serve you long
Sunshine or rain, eh
Your real friends will serve you long, woe ya woe
When all else fails
Your real friends wont do you wrong
Real friend don’t change
My name is Jamie Sorrentini Lugli. My parents were on staff at the NY org in the early seventies and were disaffected for about 30 years. I got them back on the bridge when I discovered Scientology on my own in 2006. I also got my sister in around the same time.
I was always extremely close with both my parents. We had a very open communication line and they supported me in everything I did. And my father and I had a very special relationship – closer than most fathers and daughters I know. It was like we were telepathically and emotionally connected. Whenever my parents would fight I was there to listen to him. Whenever my Mom wasn’t around to make dinner, I would make dinner for him. And every night before bed we used to eat chocolate chip cookies together.
Jamie with her father
I got out of the church in January with my husband Tiziano. I was on OT Elig for a year and was not being accepted for unusual and invalid reasons. It all started when I refused to buy more Basic books after having already donated 25 libraries, and doing Patron with Honors. It then spiraled out of control when I got in Ethics trouble for buying a motorcycle (with money I “should have donated instead”) Also, as an actress, I played a stripper on a popular network TV show and I was told I was promoting myself as a “porn star” and I was not allowed to play characters below 2.0 on the tone scale. The list of insanity goes on and on but these are just a few highlights. In the end they gave me a program which was to train to Class 4 internship, do the complete Basics book and lectures line-up, redo the PTS/SP course ( because the entertainment industry is a “1.1. industry”) and to increase my “contributions”.
I was going to request a Board of Review but then I saw the St. Pete Times video interviews with Marty Rathbun and others who had left the church. Suddenly it all made sense and I knew there was no point in trying to fight this any longer. I could not support David Miscavige and his criminal activities anymore.
My mother left the church immediately as soon as she found out the truth about what was happening at the top. My father and sister still remain in the church and of course have disconnected from us. My mother is now seeking a divorce from my father for obvious reasons.
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On July 2nd Tiziano and I went to Clearwater for the Independents’ weekend and had a blast.
Jackson with Jamie and Tiziano
After the inaugural Independent’s Deep Sea Fishing Tournament, Tiziano, Gary Jackson Moorehead and myself decided to swing by the Oak Cove and try to see Flavio, Tiziano’s brother who is an auditor. We knew we wouldn’t be able to “trespass” and go inside the parking lot to get to the actual building, but we thought maybe if we stood on the curb, we would be able to see him getting on the bus to go to dinner.
So we stood outside yelling “FLAVIO FLAVIO!” Security guards were watching us and anyone who recognized us and attempted to communicate were told, “Don’t talk to them. They are declared Suppressives.” We knew there was no way they were going to let Flavio out of that building. As it was, SO members had to run out of the side door and jump onto the bus one at a time, to keep them sheltered from the EVIL SPs that were outside on the street “attacking the church.”
Tiziano and Flavio when they were younger
After about an hour of trying to get Flavio’s attention, we decide to leave and go back to Mike and Christie’s. Since my father lives at 500 Osceola (the apartment building just next door to the Sandcastle) I say to Tiziano, “Let’s drive by there and just see if my father’s scooter is there.” (He drives around on a red scooter because he gave all his money to the church and cannot afford to buy himself a car.) We pull up in our convertible and in that moment I see my father on his red scooter about to exit the parking lot. I tell Tiziano, “Stop the car!” and I jump out and run towards him. I had not planned to even try to talk to him on this trip but when I saw him, it was like something overcame me and I just knew I had to get to him.
Funny thing is, I had been wearing my flip flops every day that we had been in Clearwater, but that morning I had put my running shoes on. I hadn’t felt like wearing them, but something had told me to put them on. I had no idea that I would be sprinting through a parking lot in them, in a desperate attempt to reconnect with my father.
So, I am running towards him, shouting “DAD, DAD!!!” And he turns the scooter around and heads to the opposite side of the parking lot. He’s trying to get away from me! OMG! I can’t believe it. So I break into a full sprint running as fast as I can, yelling for him. I see him park the scooter and take off running around the back of the building. I am in shock, with adrenaline pumping through me. I run through the building and see him come up the back stairs, heading towards a glass door that leads to the lobby. I yell at him, “Dad, don’t you run from me. Don’t do this. I’m your fucking daughter!” As I run down the hallway, I see him open the door and yell at the security guard in a panicked voice, “Lock the door, don’t let her in!” I try to run past the guard but she grabs my arm and stops me. I lose him. I was seconds away.
In my mind, I just wanted to jump on him and hug him, thinking that once he felt my arms around him he would give up and just hug me back. But I was horrified at his reaction, to have my own father who I was so close with my whole life, who once looked at me with love and affection now looking at me and running from me like I was a murderer chasing him with a gun.
The guard locks the door and won’t let me in. I break into sobs and beg her to let me in to talk to him. I explain that he is my father and that he won’t talk to me because he was told by the church that he is not allowed to have any communication with me. She says she will go talk to him.
In the meantime, Tiziano and Jackon show up and I fill them in. The guard comes back down and says that my father is very upset and that he said he does not want to talk to me and that I need to leave because I am on private property. Jackson explains about disconnection and how all I want to do is see my father and within a few minutes she is crying herself. I keep begging her to let me go up to his apartment door, but she says she can’t allow me to do that. At this point, I think all four of us have tears coming down our cheeks.
Tiziano’s brother disconnected from him, Jackson was torn apart from his wife; we had all felt the pain of the COS-enforced-disconnection. And now this naïve security guard, who could not believe what she had witnessed, knew this pain. It reinforced our individual losses in the shared experience, and it was pretty intense.
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Isn’t it ironic how Scientology is supposed to teach people how to communicate and help them to be able to confront things yet these “dedicated Scientologists” can do nothing but run ?
It took me a bit to get over the shock of what transpired. But I know that as bad as I feel about it, he feels worse. I knew that I was upholding my integrity and doing what was right. He can’t say the same. Deep down he knows it’s wrong to abandon his flesh and blood. And he’s missing out on sharing my milestones, my wins.
soul mates
I am living my life now. The one I want to live, not the one the church thinks I should live. My life is fantastic. I am married to my soul mate. We just bought a house and are creating on our life together. My career is moving forward and I am living my dream.
My father has lost everything he has worked for his whole life- his wife, his daughter, his future. He has given every cent he has to the church. He has 80,000 dollars of debt, he drives a scooter because he can’t afford to buy a car and even worse, he is living alone after 34 years of marriage. It makes me wonder, how far will one go to keep making themselves right?
jamie@jamiesorrentini.com
Dad, if you are listening, I love you and I am here for you as always. You will always be a part of my life and whenever you choose to come back to me I will have your glass of milk and some chocolate chip cookies ready to share with you like the good old days.
We had an incredible week. Independents’ weekend, the Florida wedding, then another wedding in New York for family. Then off for time alone. Thanks to all who passed on good wishes.
We are on the eve of the mid-July time period that I earlier predicted would mark the beginning of one long, hot – and sometimes ugly – summer.
As a short calm before the storm, Il Maestro – by popular demand – produced a video of the wedding. So, for those who couldn’t attend here you go. Then, fasten your safety belts.
Moving On Up a Little Higher 