Jamie’s adventure

by Jamie Sorrentini

My name is Jamie Sorrentini Lugli. My parents were on staff at the NY org in the early seventies and were disaffected for about 30 years. I got them back on the bridge when I discovered Scientology on my own in 2006. I also got my sister in around the same time.

I was always extremely close with both my parents. We had a very open communication line and they supported me in everything I did. And my father and I had a very special relationship – closer than most fathers and daughters I know. It was like we were telepathically and emotionally connected. Whenever my parents would fight I was there to listen to him. Whenever my Mom wasn’t around to make dinner, I would make dinner for him. And every night before bed we used to eat chocolate chip cookies together.

Jamie with her father


I got out of the church in January with my husband Tiziano. I was on OT Elig for a year and was not being accepted for unusual and invalid reasons. It all started when I refused to buy more Basic books after having already donated 25 libraries, and doing Patron with Honors. It then spiraled out of control when I got in Ethics trouble for buying a motorcycle (with money I “should have donated instead”) Also, as an actress, I played a stripper on a popular network TV show and I was told I was promoting myself as a “porn star” and I was not allowed to play characters below 2.0 on the tone scale. The list of insanity goes on and on but these are just a few highlights. In the end they gave me a program which was to train to Class 4 internship, do the complete Basics book and lectures line-up, redo the PTS/SP course ( because the entertainment industry is a “1.1. industry”) and  to increase my “contributions”.

I was going to request a Board of Review but then I saw the St. Pete Times video interviews with Marty Rathbun and others who had left the church. Suddenly it all made sense and I knew there was no point in trying to fight this any longer. I could not support David Miscavige and his criminal activities anymore.

My mother left the church immediately as soon as she found out the truth about what was happening at the top. My father and sister still remain in the church and of course have disconnected from us. My mother is now seeking a divorce from my father for obvious reasons.

                                                            * *

 On July 2nd  Tiziano and I went to Clearwater for  the Independents’ weekend and had a blast.

Jackson with Jamie and Tiziano

After the inaugural Independent’s Deep Sea Fishing Tournament, Tiziano, Gary Jackson Moorehead and myself decided to swing by the Oak Cove and try to see Flavio, Tiziano’s brother who is an auditor. We knew we wouldn’t be able to “trespass” and go inside the parking lot to get to the actual building, but we thought maybe if we stood on the curb, we would be able to see him getting on the bus to go to dinner.

So we stood outside yelling “FLAVIO FLAVIO!” Security guards were watching us and anyone who recognized us and attempted to communicate were told, “Don’t talk to them. They are declared Suppressives.” We knew there was no way they were going to let Flavio out of that building. As it was, SO members had to run out of the side door and jump onto the bus one at a time, to keep them sheltered from the EVIL SPs that were outside on the street “attacking the church.”

Tiziano and Flavio when they were younger

After about an hour of trying to get Flavio’s attention, we decide to leave and go back to Mike and Christie’s. Since my father lives at 500 Osceola (the apartment building just next door to the Sandcastle) I say to Tiziano, “Let’s drive by there and just see if my father’s scooter is there.” (He drives around on a red scooter because he gave all his money to the church and cannot afford to buy himself a car.) We pull up in our convertible and in that moment I see my father on his red scooter about to exit the parking lot. I tell Tiziano, “Stop the car!” and I jump out and run towards him. I had not planned to even try to talk to him on this trip but when I saw him, it was like something overcame me and I just knew I had to get to him.

Funny thing is, I had been wearing my flip flops every day that we had been in Clearwater, but that morning I had put my running shoes on. I hadn’t felt like wearing them, but something had told me to put them on. I had no idea that I would be sprinting through a parking lot in them, in a desperate attempt to reconnect with my father.

So, I am running towards him, shouting “DAD, DAD!!!” And he turns the scooter around and heads to the opposite side of the parking lot. He’s trying to get away from me! OMG! I can’t believe it. So I break into a full sprint running as fast as I can, yelling for him. I see him park the scooter and take off running around the back of the building. I am in shock, with adrenaline pumping through me. I run through the building and see him come up the back stairs, heading towards a glass door that leads to the lobby. I yell at him, “Dad, don’t you run from me. Don’t do this. I’m your fucking daughter!” As I run down the hallway, I see him open the door and yell at the security guard in a panicked voice, “Lock the door, don’t let her in!” I try to run past the guard but she grabs my arm and stops me. I lose him. I was seconds away.

 In my mind, I just wanted to jump on him and hug him, thinking that once he felt my arms around him he would give up and just hug me back. But I was horrified at his reaction, to have my own father who I was so close with my whole life, who once looked at me with love and affection now looking at me and running from me like I was a murderer chasing him with a gun.

The guard locks the door and won’t let me in. I break into sobs and beg her to let me in to talk to him. I explain that he is my father and that he won’t talk to me because he was told by the church that he is not allowed to have any communication with me. She says she will go talk to him.

In the meantime, Tiziano and Jackon show up and I fill them in. The guard comes back down and says that my father is very upset and that he said he does not want to talk to me and that I need to leave because I am on private property. Jackson explains about disconnection and how all I want to do is see my father and within a few minutes she is crying herself. I keep begging her to let me go up to his apartment door, but she says she can’t allow me to do that. At this point, I think all four of us have tears coming down our cheeks.

Tiziano’s brother disconnected from him, Jackson was torn apart from his wife; we had all felt the pain of the COS-enforced-disconnection. And now this naïve security guard, who could not believe what she had witnessed, knew this pain. It reinforced our individual losses in the shared experience, and it was pretty intense.

                                                                 * *

Isn’t it ironic how Scientology is supposed to teach people how to communicate and help them to be able to confront things yet these “dedicated Scientologists” can do nothing but run ?

It took me a bit to get over the  shock of what transpired. But I know that as bad as I feel about it, he feels worse. I knew that I was upholding my integrity and doing what was right. He can’t say the same. Deep down he knows it’s wrong to abandon his flesh and blood.  And he’s missing out on sharing my milestones, my wins.

soul mates

I am living my life now. The one I want to live, not the one the church thinks I should live. My life is fantastic. I am married to my soul mate. We just bought a house and are creating on our life together. My career is moving forward and I am living my dream.

My father has lost everything he has worked for his whole life- his wife, his daughter, his future. He has given every cent he has to the church. He has 80,000 dollars of debt, he drives a scooter because he can’t afford to buy a car and even worse, he is living alone after 34 years of marriage. It makes me wonder, how far will one go to keep making themselves right?


Dad, if you are listening, I love you and I am here for you as always. You will always be a part of my life and whenever you choose to come back to me I will have your glass of milk and some chocolate chip cookies ready to share with you like the good old days.

226 responses to “Jamie’s adventure

  1. OMG, that is such a tear-jerker!

    Welcome to the freezone.

    The disconnection is such a crazy game. I played it once in 1967 when the COS declaired my Mother. Ran and hid when she came to visit.

    All so non-optimum.

    May your father come to his senses.

    Love, Pat

  2. Jamie I’m so sorry you had to experience that. The C of M has destroyed marriages, created orphans, and destroyed lives before they could even begin.

    I know what it is like to have your father turn his back on you. My father chose drugs over my sister and I when we were kids, your father is choosing a cult, at least for the time being.

    Big hugs to you. I’m glad you have your mother and I hope your father will come to his senses also. I hope he feels the shame he should for turning his back on a daughter who loves him, and a wife of over 30 years.

  3. That has happened to me. It is horrible and I was just thinking very similar thoughts. I feel for you and I wish you the very best. I only wish I could fully join your ranks. It is a terrible thing to be under the radar…

  4. You were not allowed to play roles below 2.0, Jamie? What about John Travolta? He played many lowtoned characters…

  5. Jamie, You were very brave and did exactly what a daughter should do in this circumstance.

    Wait patiently now, just a little while, and keep a good supply of chocolate-chip cookies to hand. 🙂

  6. Jaime: At some point in time, your father will realize what he gave up and will kick himself in the ass for it. I applaud your decision to still want to give him cookies and milk. I do think it’s hysterical that you can’t perform as a stripper, but it’s OK that we have that idiot Bart Simpson still going strong on the Simpsons, disgusting South Park was garnering ratings with Issac and Greta is reporting inane commentaries on her asinine show. WoW!! Those programs are SO uptone and here I keep forgetting to set my dvd player to record them…silly moi! :}

  7. *uglyswearword*

    Jamie, I hardly know what to say. I guess I can only pray hard that your Dad will wake up, and soon. And Flavio too.

    So. Much. Unnecessary. Pain.

  8. Jamie,

    Your father pulled this in more than you did, in my view, because he needs help.

    That thetan knows something is terribly wrong. Even more so, now.

    Let’s all postulate a new photograph. One with Jamie and her dad, totally free!!!

    Start! 🙂


  9. Jaime,

    One more item:

    You now have a comm line with that security guard.

    Perhaps you can hat her up and utilize this in an ethical and appropriate manner.

    Why don’t you bring her some milk and cookies to keep giving to your dad?


  10. P.S. And Tom Cruise played a Nazi.

    A Nazi, the lowest of the low…

  11. Redneck Thetan

    Okay, now I’m crying. How can they even justify that kind of heartbreak in the name of religion? How could love like that actually harm either of them? It’s impossible. I’m so glad you and Tiziano have each other and such a great support group.

    And the nerve of them trying to make you give up the chance to be on an incredible show (saw the ep myself) because they don’t approve of the character! As the other commenters have already pointed out, they’re tripping over a huge double standard there. Good on you for standing up for yourself and then walking out the door.

  12. David Shelden

    I am sorry.

    Please forgive me.

    Thank you.

    I love you.


    I am so sorry. I read this and my blood boils… What kind of friggin’ insanity do we (all of us) follow at times? Miscavige you silly little prick, how about sending the orks my direction? And I know there are those doing his bidding reading this… Will you PLEASE declare my ass too?!!! Pardon me, I am pissed and ashamed of what my church has done. I left in the early 80’s because of this kind of entheta, but never left in my heart and soul. I love L Ron, I love the tech, and I love all involved. Leaving was a great loss. But when it came apparent that the church (I will capitalize this word when the church has instituted it’s own ethics tech) that preached self determination was setting itself up to demand lemming behavior, it was time.

    Jamie, I am truely sorry. While present time may appear in a particular way, your father is in great turmoil. His days holding on to a particular reality are numbered. Look forward to the day in the not too distant future when the phone rings and you have the opportunity for repair. It has already happened, the physical universe now just needs to catch up. Pardon me, the tears are blurring my vision..

    Always, in all ways,


  13. I have a daughter of my own, and I know what that love is like between father and daughter. I really cannot imagine what your father must be going through. Maybe he was worried that he would have to pay more money if he talked to you (a very real situation), and he just didn’t have more money. Just keep doing well in life and keep in comm. Maybe you can leave letters on his scooter.

  14. Jamie,

    As you know I was there with the rest of the Independents that day and saw how shook up you were over this incident. It is such a tragedy what this disconnection policy has done to families like yours.

    There are brighter days ahead. The church owes you your refund request (which they are delaying unnecessarily) and the days of disconnection for all families will soon be at an end.

    Thank you for your strength and courage in what you did that day, and for then writing this up. Wishing you and Tiziano all the best. Stay strong.

  15. Tears.

    Momentarily overwhelming poignancy.

    Then….resolve. For the future.

    Thanks for telling of your adventure.

  16. Jamie, my dear, you have a very strong postulate. Yes, you do!
    Everything is going your way as you always wanted. You will soon enjoy a late night home made chocolate chip cookie & milk with him in your new house. It is happening. Trust your theta self.
    Love you! 🙂

  17. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…….You
    know, having been out for 10 years, and I began speaking out due to families who had lost loved ones, I still cannot believe how utterly painful this is. Your courage, your strength, your love, and his utter non-confront.

    As you say, C of $ sells “Communication” “OT” yet here is your DAD running from you, scared shitless. He couldn’t be farther from what he’s paid for.

    Sir, if you’re reading this (Which I doubt, but someone else may)—Did you *honestly* get into Scientology to end up as F***d up as you are, now? Be honest. LOOK at your gorgeous daughter and her husband. LOOK at your life.
    Not your pretend life—your *real* life. It’s not too late: Read, look, connect UP. Take back ~~your~~life.
    Meantime, Jamie, thank you for being such a strong soul. Keep spreading love. It’s what’s missing within that group.
    My best to you both,

  18. GOD! Jamie. This tears my heart.

  19. DFB aka Dfb99


    Freedom Magazine has gone psychotic.
    The online version atleast, should be a major sign to anyone still in that something is wrong.

    I’m picturing COB screeaming at Dan Sherman, Dan is taking notes and then goes to his office and tries to write something that sounds like it makes sense, or something,…yeah, that makes sense, yeah….. thats the ticket.

    Something is happening. COB is starting to self destruct. The Freedom Magazine doesnt make sense. It’s completely off the rails PR-wise.

  20. Oh my goodness. I was fine until the cookie bit, then I started to tear up!!!

    I look forward to the story of the reunion of your whole family. I can get it started: “As you may remember, just a few…” I’ll have my tissues ready.

    Here’s long-distance hugs for your father and sister and T’s brother.

    By the way, I love your blue nail polish!

  21. You reached. You were the one reaching. He withdrew. He is the one withdrawing. According to L.R.H. people “blow” or “withdraw” because of overts, right? RIGHT? Just read everything Hubbard said about these things and you will see how right you were. I did not meet my father until I was 39. It took me that long to override the third party and counter intention from other people in my family. When I saw him, it was love at first sight. He was all the bad things people said he was, and I loved every part of it. I was able to spend six months with him before he passed away from cancer. I understand your meaning and affection. You reached. You reached. Good for you! I have never disconnected from someone declared in all the time I was involved in Scientology. Because selection is a personal thing. Once you surrender that, you’ve lost it all. Once you can be ordered who to love you have really gone bankrupt. You are being pimped. The Church has this cultural tradition happening and it goes this way: If YOU blow you have overts. If they order you to blow , and you follow that command, you are loyal. Blow orders are called disconnect orders. If it is any consolation, this culture is about 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.1 % of the current population. And the communism is not an easy thing to shake once people get lose. You reached. Good for you! You did not permit your reach to get cut, explained by Hubbard as a person at cause! Hey, that’s about all you can do and you did it.

  22. I’m so sorry for your loss, beautiful girl! What a foolish earthling your dad is. I feel for both of you, sweetie. ML, Songbird

  23. A sadder story could not be told. I truly hope this story is picked up and spread widely. As it tells all that needs to be said about the current state of C of S. I hope your Dad comes to his senses enough to override whatever fear factor has been instilled.
    My daughter left the SO under hostile conditions, but no declare. After we had both come to Marty’s website, I remember her asking me if I would have disconnected from her if declared and it was such an alien thought, almost like asking me if I would quit breathing if told to do so.

  24. Jamie,
    Yr story moved me to tears…I pray that yr father will see the light before its to late, at least you know in yr heart that you did the right thing…Its so wrong that this “church” can destroy so many families and people’s lives, and then profit on it no less!!!! I think if anyone can bring them down, It’s Marty and and this group of people right here on this website…I’m behind you all 100% kick ass!!!!!!!

  25. Ok so sometimes I stutter

  26. Jamie ,you are a brillant, talented ,beautiful being and you also Tiziano. What I see here is pure fear from your family members to do what comes naturally and that being loving their daughter and brother. This will pass in time.

    Love to you both

  27. Jamie;

    This may be evaluative, but I believe your father is suffering much more than you are. I can’t conceive of how much his heart is breaking at this moment. Given the relationship you described between you and your dad I have no doubts that he has doubts, and suffers because he cannot apply the formulae standardly. Just flowing him ARC may help key him out.

    I’m looking forward to the post from you and him on how the two of you got back in comm and he is here with you and his son-in-law.

  28. Eileen Clark

    This was very hard for me to read, my heart was breaking for you. Confronting the level of evil in such a place as a “church’ that would result in such a horrible thing happening, is beyond itsa.
    Together, we are all confronting that evil, it will be erased. Meanwhile, know that what you are doing will make it possible to recover all those lost to us because of this madness.
    Big hug and kiss. You are a trooper! And, I love your style!

    Love, Eileen

  29. They are whistling past the graveyard..LRH


    Whistling past=Hoping the spirits won’t grab ’em and pull them down under


  30. I’m glad you and your husband and mother are out.

    You should try to get your IAS $ back. There are several people on ESMB who have done so.

    I’m frankly astonished about that role thing, especially after some of the roles Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Dohring, and Tom Cruise have taken. What nonsense!

  31. (“because the entertainment industry is a “1.1. industry”)

    Look who’s talking Showmaster and casino-owner David Miscaviger

  32. May all the love and theta you put out come back to you ten times over…..

    ARC desolves the hardest entheta… it may take time.. but that is an illusion afterall…..it will desolve through it all in the end….!

  33. Thank you for telling the story and very well done for trying to get to your dad! I had tears in my eyes from reading about it. What a disaster this current CoS is.

  34. I just got calmed down from reading the last thread and now this.

    The tradgedy of families being torn apart with reverse scientology is extremely hard to read about.

    Jamie, I have never met you or your husband, but I know if I do, I will be better because of it.

    I hope your father comes back to you and back to LRH’s group – the independent field.

    Viva Romana!

  35. My God! This was really touching. I could see the whole scenario as I was reading the post. Your dad must be feeling horrible to say the least.

  36. theystolemychurch

    I love John T, but he has played the biggest SP (on film) and a heroin addict in Pulp Fiction (wht tone level was that?) and oh, come on what tone level was he in Battlefield Earth? Geeeezzz ~ the double standards are just so totally out the top I can’t stand it!!!!

  37. Brad Hagemo

    Dear Jamie,
    You are a woman of courage and integrity and I salute you. You and Tiziano make a wonderful couple and I know with certainty that your lives will be filled with the joy that success brings. It is important that you remember that your father is PTS and is out of valence. It is my postulate that when the Suppressive in Chief is removed, your father will regain his integrity and once again be the loving father which you deserve.

  38. My friends father disconnected from her too. He was groundskeeper at the sandcastle.
    She was eventuallyallowed to see him on his deathbed at the very same place. He finally came to his senses, a tad too late.

    This makes me ill to even think about. Hopefully YOUR father will realise his foolishness sooner than hers did.

    I’m afraid I still cannot understand how humans can be so occluded. What the hell are they putting in their water? This is sheer insanity.

  39. Starting with Pulp Fiction, the movie that put him back on the map.

    And how about Tom Cruise in “Collateral?” He plays a hit man as well.

    Moral of the story; it’s ok to play low toned characters, just as long as you’re “upstat” in your contributions to the Church.

    Jamie, your story is heartbreaking. I’m glad that your mother is standing by you and hope you can reconnect with your father one day.

  40. Doug Parent

    Jamie, your courage confront and tenacity shows you to be a fine daughter that anyone would be proud of….and the C of S has become something utterly despicable by it’s own actions, pressuring it’s members into abandoning the very essence and best qualities of what a caring compassionate rational parent should be. Strong love and affinity between you and your dad probably means his heart can be turned to stone forever. Continue to love and flow him that, even from a distance. The cult will lose big time…..eventually.

  41. What an evil thing to do to a man, convince him that he has to run away and hide from his own daughter. He is getting the most self inflicted harm from disconnection. Your pain is the love you would like to give him and you can’t, and the love you know he still have for you, that he can’t express. A being IS all 8 dynamics. By disconnection Co$ is making beings smaller and smaller. He is closing himself in a prison, sad as it is. Keep sending him love, and keep doing what you do to help free scientologists from the lies of Miscavige.

  42. Jamie said

    My father has lost everything he has worked for his whole life- his wife, his daughter, his future. He has given every cent he has to the church. He has 80,000 dollars of debt, he drives a scooter because he can’t afford to buy a car and even worse, he is living alone after 34 years of marriage.

    @ @ @ @

    Absolute Text book result of someone drinking the Kool Aid in DM’s Church.

    Jamie, thanks for writing this up.

  43. Torn between tears and anger. The tears won out.
    Jamie you are such a beautiful being. The pain your father is feeling must easily be as great as yours to deprive himself of your love and theta. Whatever self-sacrifice incident he is stuck in and dramatizing, I hope that your love for him will pull him out sooner rather than later and you can start making up for lost time. So glad you have Tiziano, the combined power of the two of you, way up in the aesthetic band is a joy to behold. May Flavio and your father be lucky enough to share it with you some day.
    All my love

  44. Impartial English Girl

    What a heartbreaking post. Poor Jamie and Tiziano; I hope that, one day soon, this madness will end and you will get your loved ones back.

    Who knows? Perhaps the tragic events when you tried to reconnect with your family members have sown a seed, which will grow and blossom into realisation – perhaps for the security guard as well…

    You make a lovely couple and I really wish you a long and fantastic future together. x

  45. “It is a terrible thing to be under the radar…”
    Revenimus, it is. It’s soul destroying. I’m not condemning it, it did it too for a couple of months (until my big mouth outed me) but it’s… soul destroying.
    Can’t tell you what to do of course, that’s only a decision you can make but do realize that you are granting beingness to those who would have you be afraid to openly declare who YOU are and what YOU stand for. Each person that agrees to be oppressed sends a message to the C of M that they can and will continue with the very same tactics that Jamie and Tiz are suffering from.
    Perhaps if all of those who are hiding truly stand together, not only will they win back their rights to their own personal integrity but they will also be able to help Jamie and Tiz (and many others) get their loved ones back.
    Sometimes it becomes more than just a personal decision, others have sacrificed so much and lost their loved ones in order to flow power to the combined power of theta that is this group and work together to right the wrongs and heal the wounds.
    Just saying, and just saying it out of love for you because I hate to see anyone sitting getting all soul destroyed. Especially when getting through the fear band brings so much joy and case-resurgence and freedom. Try it 😉

  46. Truly a sad and heart-touching moment you had when your father “escaped” the “threat” you seemed to be to him.

    But the eternity is full of moments.

    And we live in a time of fast and sweeping changes. So you never know when your dad will recognize the game he is a pawn of right now.

    Just consider all the changes within the last 12 months, the people who got free of Co$, the media reports etc. Hard to predict all the good things that will happen within the next 12 month 🙂

  47. I am pretty sure the characters “allowed” are based on donation level and general public popularity…all depends on what you bring to the table 🙂

  48. I deeply sorry for your pain.I hope your father comes to his senses soon.

  49. crashingupwards


    He will come around.

    He will reflect on it and realize some things. As a father I cannot imagine any of my children running after me and calling my name and my not going to them. There has to be a total disconnect between his heart and his head at that moment.

    But it will not stay that way because we are not made that way. Dont be afraid to do it again. It make take a few times to resolder his system. But stay real to him and it will help him. Out of sight, out of mind. So stay visible. Dont allow him that mental rest and leave him at the hands of only one side. Keep him conflicted until the light goes on. Thats my opinion. You dont have to run scream and shout. Just let him see you.

    Wishing you the best.

  50. Jamie, I am very sorry that you could not have one single word with your dad face to face; but very well done on making the attempt. I know he feels the pain too. He knows deep down that this is all wrong.

    In the years I spent at FSO I never remember the lock downs that they have on a daily basis; the downtown area is a dead zone for Clearwater. There were never a mass of security guards at all points of the doors and parking lots; I was amazed; I saw staff at the bar outside pool area at the Sand Castle scarfing down food just so they did not have to go out in the real world and have a chance encounter with any of us.

    You made an excellent attempt to try to speak to your dad and I am sure he is glad to have seen you only from a distance. You impinged more than you realize. Love, Jan



  52. MissBridgett

    Beautiful girl,… inside and out…speaking from a parent’s perspective I want to reach out and comfort you when I was reading your story, esp. when you took off running to get to your Dad…and he turned away. I am writing this to you through my own tears.

    But you are strong, and you are a wise young lady. Your very spirit shines…and will continue to shine! And surely you must know in your heart that your Dad loves you so very dearly and no-one in the CofM can EVER come between your two spirits, your bond cannot be broken, even if your heart is right now. Because of the CofM’s evil influence and interference and oppressive rules…you may not have your Dad, your sister or your husband’s brother close by to reach out and hug or communicate with in person right now…but I believe you will soon…

    And for now…all you have to do is close your eyes…think of your Dad and send him all your love, wrap your arms around him in your thoughts…he WILL get the message and he will know!

    A parent’s love and bond is eternal…the affinity you share cannot be broken…no matter where you are or where you go…your Dad KNOWS you…your precious spirit and soul…he knows you are his loving sweet daughter…and always will be!

    Inspite of anything the CofM can say or do to him…I bet he often thinks of those chocolate chip cookie pleasure moments with YOU too.

    Love & hugs,

  53. Jamie,
    Your experiences with your dad, brother-in-law, and CoS are so sad, unjust and imho, so out-tech and non-survival (out ethics). It surely is not what LRH intended to have flourish and prosper with-in his group. And why there are so many “in good standing” not contributing to the the new CoM, and unwilling to experience similar painful moments. Have you sent him an e-mail clip of Tommy saying the church does not enforce/endorse disconnection? Perhaps your presence and willingness to communicate will make him LOOK, evaluate, and not just obey. Well done with creating your life, create, create, create and splurge on the joy around you now and in your future.

  54. Oh, Jamie.

    You are truly a courageous spirit. Thank you for sharing this deeply moving account; my prayers are with you.

  55. martyrathbun09

    Yo B! Thanks for participating.

  56. martyrathbun09

    Sam, thanks for your sage advice.

  57. Watching Eyes

    It dawned on me that this enforced disconnection is actually worse than a death. It’s beyond cruel because until your dad leaves (if he leaves) there’s no end to the stress of it; it just goes on & on & on. To think this is coming from a so-called church is mind blowing.

    Would love to see you take this story to the Larry King show or better yet, Oprah. It’d be a killer show. Get Karen to go too and whoever else would do well in front of the cameras. What’s the dwarf gonna do about it? Threaten CNN some more? Ha!

  58. martyrathbun09

    Marc, you are right. Think about how twisted that is. First, none of it is the church’s business. But, even if it were – up and coming actors have much less say in what roles they can get. Further, they influence far fewer people when they get them. It is all about kissing ass to celebrity and money. Sadly, those who have their asses kissed day in and day out aren’t getting any real case gain.

  59. martyrathbun09

    DFB, have a seat; you should be sitting for this one. The only Int managers allowed out of the Hole as of 22 April were 12 – ALL of whom (including Yager, Guillaume, Jenny Devocht, Starkey, et al) were doing nothing but putting this sick piece together. They worked on it for 4 months. That is what their fees buy.

  60. Eye-opener! I was trying to get a grip on the quality of person that would write these pieces for the Freedom mag, and this explains it. These are not the same people who went in the Hole- they are truly broken. You couldn’t do a better character assassination of Scn than these pieces and the writers are probably in glee on what a great job they have done…

  61. rory medford


    Be Patient: Your dad will WAKE UP & come back to you.

    Be Patient: The house of cards for SCN is about to come crumbling down.

    Be Patient: Truth will come shining through and there will be a MASS exodus of both staff and parishioners because of the insanity and of what is about to be exposed.

    Be Patient: Time is on your side.

    So sorry you had to experience that but BE PATIENT your DAD will be back.

    Be Patient: People are waking up each and every day and seeing and hearing about the craziness that is happening within the church.

    Patience is a virture… Wish u the best

  62. This is for your dad.

    It is my prayer that he wake up soon and realize that the love of a daughter is a sacred thing, to be honored and cherished, not to be run away from. ARC IS Sacred.

  63. You don’t understand tsmc, all women all sluts and DM can’t let the world know that goes double for female public on lines and triple for SO!

    IF he ever does get any auditng, (eventually maybe, from a rock) I hope that ugly situation with his mother gets resolved!

  64. rory Medford

    C of M is just messing with the wrong people who are courageous and who will do something about the current state of affairs. Jamie you should take this story to Oprah it would be very therapeutic for you and very helpful for others who are experiencing exactly what you have just been put through. Wish you the best. Be patient, time is on your side.

  65. Jamie and Tiziano:

    There is no greater conquering force on this planet that is stronger than love. Keep the flames of your love for your family still in the CoM burning bright. One day, it will be the beacon that brings them home to you.



  66. Your father must be under some real threat of punishment if he talks to you, for any one still possessing their own self determinism would have stood their ground, perhaps given you a hug and then just said something like, “you know I love you but we can’t communicate right now.” And then left.

    To sprint away from a family member and get behind a door and have security “keep you out” tells me he’s been told something like, “if you say one word to your daughter xyz punishment for you!”

    I hope he thought long and hard afterward about what he had just done. I can’t see how what he did would be following policy anyway. I mean, if you were in his position I think my scenario above would have been proper and more aligned with LRH than sprinting away. Running away just reinforces the whole “cult” and disconnection thing. Sad.

  67. Jamie;

    I keep thinking to myself this scene with your dad was meant to be. “Sorta of written by the big screen writer in the sky”. You decided to wear running shoes, you decided to drop by his living quarters to see if the red scooter is there. Hard to believe this is a coincidence…no,no IMHO this event was meant to be. I suspect you and your dad were postulating meeting each other somehow, somewhere…VWD to the both of you.

    We have act one…can’t wait to read the rest of this story…

    Being a father & grandfather of 3 I can tell you, your father is crying inside and I suspect he will soon be having cookies and milk with you and the rest of your family by act 3.

    Yes, I believe in happy endings.

  68. rory Medford

    The War of Words…. The LAUGHABLE piece the Freedom Magazine has done is a last ditch effort before the castle comes crumbling down. The piece is really for the existing parishioners, no one else. They are trying to salvage the soon to happen exodus of people. Its laughable at best and it will draw MORE traffic to Martys blog not LESS

  69. Brilliant – if her Dad doesn’t eat them at least they are a treat for the security guard. Don’t forget the love notes. This could end up being very effective.

  70. LRH says: A thetan communicates by telepathy. You CAN reach out to your Dad with your MIND.

  71. Jamie, there’s great encouragement in Brad’s words. Breathe them in. ❤

  72. I was deeply saddened when I read the movie critics of Battlefield Earth. How could DM approve such a bad movie!? It harmed LRH’s reputation! It shamed him! DM is such an incompetent leader.

    Jamie, I hope too that you and your family will reunite!

  73. I know. What a nice generalization.

  74. It’s just completely ridiculous. This was told to me by Theresa, my Ethics officer at the time at AOLA. It shows what a thorough understanding she has of the tech,huh?

  75. I’m down with that too…. 🙂

  76. That’s a great idea! Next time I am in Florida I will try that 😉

  77. Fellow Traveller

    I am having one of those moments. Not sudden, but the quiet and careful contemplation of significant and immediate application of force that follow on the realization of the extent of the betrayal.

    Bruce Pratt

  78. Aww shit – I got tears….

    Realize that he will come back to you.

    The lies cannot hold forever.

    I promise to work at this until the nightmare is over.

    I’ve not come out yet, but am working on it and will join all of you shortly.

    This is a process we are running on the third dynamic and you of course know that a process will run as long as it needs to run.

    We are getting TA and we will release all the people from the lies.


  79. rory medford

    another point to make reagrding the Freedm Magazine piece

    There is something naturally against the Co f S and they is called “The Believability Factor” and most people just don’t believe the PR press releases and they don’t trust SCN in general. Scn has lost that factor and its a HUGE factor to consider when the masses at large believe SCN is dangerous and something to stay away from.. Is that real to most of you?

  80. Jamie, Like theoracle I reconnected with my
    father before he died. Unconditional love is a very powerful thing. Your father believes he
    is doing the right thing and thinks you’ve gone astray. He will wake up. Your reach is very
    important. Keep doing it. My father cried like a baby as he confessed all his sins to me. He had
    lots. I told him he didn’t have to but he did. All
    I wanted to do is see my dad. When he was dying, I was the only one of 6 kids that he would allow to see him. Trust me your dad loves you very much and you will be together soon. Love

  81. martyrathbun09

    You and I gotta talk about all this; I have a very similar story.

  82. What a telling story. Telling of the depth of betrayal the C of M has become. If this is the effect on the public and your father, then how depraved must Miscavige be?

    I hope your father comes to his senses.

  83. Let’s see….Tom Cruise walks through an orgy and his then wife Nicole Kidman gets naked and has an affair with another man in a dream sequence in “Eyes Wide Shut”.

    Travolta plays Terl and his wife plays an alien prostitute in the God Aweful movie version of “Battlefield Earth”.

    Nancy Cartwright plays the utterly, morally corrupt bad example for kids known as Bart Simpson.

    Isaac Hayes played the sex-infatuated, horny Chef on South Park.

    Many of the characters in LRH’s books were sex perverts, drug users and cold blooded killers….

    What am I missing here?

    It’s ART!

    Sounds like the church is now into suppressing creativity.

    That oughtta go over well at CC Int.

    And wasn’t it DM who sold soft core porn a couple decades ago???


  84. Jamie, your story was heartbreaking to read but your courage and love for your father is exhilarating at the same time.
    He doesn’t quite get how very very lucky he is…yet. He will though.

    Your’s is a story about courage and a refusal to let a little weasel EXTORT your integrity.
    DM’s stock and trade is spiritual and emotional EXTORTION to keep his power and the funds rolling in.
    Thank You for not allowing yourself and your life to be extorted and bought off.
    You will see justice and you will see your father embrace you soon.
    Lurkers and fence-sitters…please make note of this woman’s integrity!

  85. Dear Jamie,

    I will give you some advice given to me on this blog — Keep Communicating! It worked for me and my son. Truth exists before the lies, and the truth is that your Dad, and other family members, temporarily disconnected, love you very much. When you keep communicating, the confusion around the disorder blows off, and what is left is the truth.

    What had to be a big factor in the situation is your Dad’s proximity to the Sand Castle. He probably had the idea that a reach toward you would be witnessed and watched and reported, getting him into “trouble”. And if you were yelling, of course it would attract attention. So, whatever fears were put into his head about the penalties of communicating, would have to have been in full screaming restimulation.

    A quiet communication that he can receive behind closed doors could make all the difference in the world. A letter, e-mail, phone call, message through the security guard; any avenue of communication will do. And as someone mentioned earlier, you were being CAUSE on the comm formula of Cause-Distance-Effect, so just continue to be Cause and you will break down the barriers. Just remember TR-3, a training drill having to do with repeating the auditing question or command. LRH developed that for a reason.

    Thank you so much for telling your story and for your courage in speaking up. Having been through this repeatedly for many years as a parent, you have my complete understanding of the sorrow and heartbreak this situation causes. Just know that you are not alone in dealing with this; you have many friends here who will support you in your return to full communicaton with your loved ones.

    My thanks for all you have done,
    Lady Minn

  86. Sarge, You are quite a being. I see why LRH took such a liking to you.
    That was quite a message to Jamie. I will ditto that if you don’t mind.

  87. Great points here.


  88. Watching Eyes said,
    “Would love to see you take this story to the Larry King show or better yet, Oprah. It’d be a killer show.”
    Very smart.
    This is “a story”. All the elements are there for national tv. Exposure of this story would have a definite impact on the accelerating decline of the C of M and show the church’s true stand on disconnection.
    This is something you can do to help de-pts your dad:
    Get your husband to film you (in his commando style that he’s so good at) trying to connect with your dad. Also film the security guard at his condo. Shop this tape around, get it on YouTube, let’s make it viral.
    The only reason I can see Oprah not going for this is her friendship with TC and JT but don’t let that stop you – she would be the best and a good story is a good story. Shop it to others.
    Possibly anyone on this blog has some connections that could get this out.
    Just my 2 cents…

  89. Rory:

    Yes! In fact, I was hanging out with a newer friend of mine at my house and he stumbled across the BC lectures (how can you miss em when you see em?) and was immediately suspicious and curious. At first he was very ridgy and a little j/d about Scn … but I assured him that I am in no way condoning to or connected to current Church leadership as I felt it was f’ing up a perfectly valid technology. After I handled his consideration on corporate Scientology – David Miscavige and Tommy Davis and sadly Tom Cruise, I found he was genuinely curious about the subject.

    The Independents new Dissem Drill is: 1) contact, 2) handle considerations on the church’s extremely bad PR by disassociating yourself with current Church management, 3) handle any actual misunderstanding about Scn as covered in the HCOPL… etc. so forth.

    I found the ridges to the subject, for the most part, go away when you go into agreement with how asinine the church looks in the media and WHY that is happening. LRH would be appalled and I am glad he is likely off at Target 2 getting it started as Target 1 may not be making it any day soon.

  90. beenthere, ditto away. Thank you for the wonderful ack.

  91. Marty, Sir. You are going to have a hard time shutting me up! Hope you have your TR’s IN.
    Much Love, Sargio

  92. The sorrow runs deep, and for that I am very sorry for your family and hope this does not continue much longer. The security guard saw the truth and felt the pain, hopefully that will wake her up.
    The more that wake up the more families will be reunited.

  93. Bandoneon Tango ” Adios Nonino” Astor Piazzolla: perfomed by Carel Kraayenhof for the wedding of the dutch crownprince and princess.

  94. Unbelievable, Marty. I thought sure it (The Freedom Rag) was put together by the new illiterate kids I met right before I left. Then it would make ~some~ sense.
    That the people you mentioned did this is frightening. It truly shows how utterly broken they are.

    I’ve said forever, we need to drive a bus by
    Gold (With a TALL sign) saying: “Come now, take back your life—hop on the bus” or some such thing. I know they’re seriously in it, but do you think possibly some *may* come?
    “We come back… to get our friends OUT”. Best! Tory

  95. Great suggestion, Lady Minn. Here’s one more that worked for a Dad I know.
    His daughter was in the Sea Org—and he just brought her flowers, once a week, at Celebrity Center where she was.

    He knew his stuff re laws, and religion, and he had/has great courage, too.
    Ok, so he’d go EVERY week- asking to give his daughter flowers. At first they threw him off CC.

    He then said he had legal rights, and he knew them. Soon after they brought the PR to try to “Handle” him. Soon after that, they kicked his daughter out of the Sea Org, and soon after she left C of $ 🙂 It may have been a 6 mo-1 year process, but it worked!

    Just thought I’d mention that as it worked so well. Jamie, I know your Dad isn’t in the Sea Org—but I also know the 500 building very well, where he lives. It’s almost all OT’s and they don’t want you “evil people” (argh!) anywhere around them. So the flowers just may be an excellent back up.

    You both, and your Dad, are in my good wishes, daily 🙂

  96. “Just remember TR-3, a training drill having to do with repeating the auditing question or command. LRH developed that for a reason.”

    A question coming from the Heart beats any training.

  97. DFB aka Dfb99

    I wonder what the next level of insanity will be.
    Probably a collapse and retreat is coming soon.

  98. Terril Park

    ” Do what I say not what I do.”

    An incomplete list of outpoints raised by Jamies Adventure.


    ” It then spiraled out of control when I got in Ethics trouble for buying a motorcycle [with money I “should have donated instead.”]

    From Marty’s declaration re DM.

    “Very few staff members at the Int base could afford
    a vehicle. Miscavige had a battery of expensive motorcycles and another battery of
    expensive cars.”…..”to watch movies and listen to music on
    his expensive stereo system.”


    “…..and I was not allowed to play characters below 2.0 on the tone scale. ”

    That rules out Medea, Salome and lady Macbeth just for starters. I’m afraid

    you’ll have to stick to ” wifes and Girlfriends”. 😦

    [ WAGs in the UK referring to companions of football players]


    “….redo the PTS/SP course ( because the entertainment industry is a “1.1. industry”) and to increase my “contributions”.”

    So why celebrity centres? !* Why use celebrities for PR? What about LRH,

    and equally important, my thoughts, that artists forward and create the culture.

    However DM hangs out with entertainment types.

  99. Is this my old buddy, Ian Waxler that was once the Commodore’s cook?

  100. Marty – thanks for that tidbit.

    Now that makes a lot of sense – wondered about where the concept about “worker’s paradise” with no workers in it came from as it’s quite bizarre.

    It’s a “can’t have” the ex-holees like Jenny every-inch Linson have which they’re running on the viewer, if that makes any sense.

    I’m surprised DM didn’t catch the stupidities. That video puts out an enemy line – would CNN or any sane organization spend 70 million on their office buildings, wasting corporate funds or parishioners donations?

    It’s a complete 180 degree turn if the holees were modeling the video to be similar to the Google “worker’s paradise” PR concept which is full of the human touch. http://www.inquisitr.com/54052/working-conditions-in-google-land-pretty-sweet/

    Then again, I suppose though that showing Dear Leader in his luxury (which isn’t shown) worker’s paradise drinking his well aged scotch wouldn’t do the trick either.

    Freedom has transformed itself to Freedumb as it pushes the fabrications submitted to AC 360 of DM wasn’t there and Disconnection does not exist. How many Kool aid drinkers dried out as a result of the Freedom mag against the SP times?

  101. Cured Robot

    The ethics level of this CofM is out to frickin lunch. It’s horrendous and unspeakable that the CofM should be breaking up your family like that. This needs to be exposed loud and widely. This needs to stop. Meanwhile, look at the treatment the criminal Zwan was given:

    “For example, Miscavige once ordered me to keep his sister’s involvement in a stock market fraud out of the press. Miscavige’s sister, Denise, had partnered with a Scientologist named Brian Zwan in a company called
    Digital Lightwave in Clearwater Florida. A whistleblower from the company disclosed
    to the media and SEC that Denise Miscavige and Brian Zwan conspired to defraud the public by falsely reporting Digital’s production on Wall Street. Zwan made hundreds of millions of dollars by manipulating the stock in that wise. When I investigated and briefed Miscavige on these facts, he ordered that I keep his sister out of the way of SEC subpoenas. I complied. A year later, having successfully evaded SEC prosecution because of his own perjury and because of my work on behalf of David Miscavige, Brian Zwan applied for admittance to the highest level services in Scientology at
    Clearwater Florida. As Inspector General of RTC, being intimately familiar that Zwan
    had obtained his wealth through fraudulent conduct, and had survived scrutiny by
    obstructing justice, I denied Zwan admittance to the course because of insufficient evidence of a high level of Ethics. At one of Miscavige’s events in Clearwater, Zwan walked up to Miscavige and bragged how he had just contributed $5 million to one of Miscavige’s pet slush funds. Miscavige shook Zwan’s hand and commended him. As
    Zwan walked away Miscavige turned to my subordinate and then-wife and told her to
    authorize Zwan to take the highest level Scientology course. In front of me, Miscavige
    proceeded to tell my wife that I was “a suppressive person”, that I “was dedicated to
    stopping Miscavige”, and that Zwan was to be treated as VIP by the church. That is the
    Ethics of David Miscavige and Religious Technology Center.” Marty Rathbun

  102. Natalie, thanks for your understanding. I am sorry to hear that about your father.

    Big hug to you too!

  103. Cured Robot

    It’s funny how you can play an SP but can’t show a little tit, hahaha. Note the French Riviera beaches (and other europeon countries) all allow topless bathing, my God I guess Scientology is out for the French and some of the other Europeon countries!

  104. Thank you Brad. You are totally right.

    Jamie – as we all know, what is happening today is not what the original intentions were nor would they have been tolerated by LRH.

    Here is a quote from LRH to Sea Org members on the ship which was written to help prevent
    a situation like yours.

    “If your parents or friends are the kind who worry about you, BE SURE AND WRITE THEM AN AIRMAIL LETTER regularly.

    Othewise they give us DEV T by asking the government to check up on you to see if you’r all right.

    If uncertain about it, write them anyway.

    Also, if you haven’t written your family recently do so anyway. Otherwise they’ll think Scn put you OUT of communication.

    You can mail the letter straight from here.

    LRH, Commodore 5.2.69”

    OSA – the brian washing of the staff against their friends and family will not achieve the purchase of Scn. Go back to the writings of “Source” in this matter as it regards to friends and family. To not do so, will create further Out PR problems which is a treasonous offence. OSA, you know damb well what is going on behind the walls/fences is not Scn.

  106. Giovanni Ribisi plays a mass murdering executive in Avatar.

    Beck sings “MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack.” If you want to hear a downtone song, listen to “Cold Brains.” That one’s right at zero on the tone scale.

    Cold brains,
    Alone at last
    No thoughts,
    No mind
    To rot
    A trail of disasters.

    Jason Dohring plays an amoral vampire on Moonlight and recently played a sociopath on a recent episode of Lie to Me and/or CSI.

    And let’s not forget Cruise’s role in Tropic Thunder. It may have been a comedy, but the role was apparently anything but. (See my prior questions to Marty about that.)

    So it’s interesting to me that a woman doesn’t get a pass, but these guys do. Is it simply because of the endemic sexism in many parts of the CofS?

    I didn’t experience that while I was in, but it’s been a common enough thread in the stories of other women (especially when considering issues of marriage and children in the SO) that I think I was just fortunate.

    Without being able to play roles below 2.0, she won’t be able to portray a grieving family member, either, yet another common role for up-and-coming female actors.

  107. You’d probably have better results if you left MIND out of it, and just engaged in direct Being to Being communication.

  108. Jamie & Tiziano,

    Thanks for your courageous actions and story. It shows the real truth of the matter no matter what Tommy and Monique say on AC 360 that disconnection does not exist.

    There is an oldie and moldie which still seems good to me today:

  109. Martin Padfield

    The disconnection circus shows no sign of abating in the UK either I’m afraid. My daughter’s best friend was apparently forbidden from seing her just last week for her 8th birthday party. All she wanted was to see her friend. Lisa Kavanagh, I am naming and shaming you for allowing this insanity – I gave you at least 3 chances to do the decent thing and let the girls get together; I even told you you could arrange it with Maria so I wasn’t involved, but you have taken the spineless route of not answering your messages or even having the courtesy of letting Maria know you won’t let your girl see mine. And this, after you told me you had no problem with my stand on the Church – even tacitly supported it.

    Aside from all that, you obviously need cramming on PTS issues, as nowhere does LRH say that 8-year old girls must disconnect from each other because their parents have expressed a view.

    OSA UK, instead of telling the field I am “not in good standing” why not put the SP declare together and let me have the Comm Ev I’m entitled to. Come on Grame, let’s get together apply some standard Justice policy, eh?

  110. Would a vampire movie be “below death” tone level, let alone Stanley Kubricks last film – eyes wide shut?

    Arbitraries = Current Ethics and Justice = Mestology.

  111. Unbelievable. It may be the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life; at its best, in incomprehenisible, whenever it starts to make sense, the vitriol is cringe-inducing.

    It boggles the mind that these people spent four months on it, it reads like it was written in about forty minutes.

    What kills me is that many inside the Church probably would have never watched the series in the first place. Why then force it to their attention?

  112. The following is public record: Robert Vaughn Young was a member of the Church of Scientology for a period of 20 years (1969-1989), he had worked in many areas within the organization including the highest management echelons.

    ‘IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLORADO – Civil Action No. 95-K-2143: Declaration of Robert Vaughn Young in Support of Defendant’s Opposition to the Motion of Bridge Publications, Inc. for Summary Judgment Against all Defendants for Copyright Infringement. Subscribed and sworn to before me this day of February, 1997, Robert Vaughn Young.’

    Section 29 of this affidavit reads:

    “I have personal knowledge that material was written and issued under the name of L. Ron Hubbard that he did not author. While working at ASI, I personally wrote material to be issued under his name for several years. This ranged from simple messages to be sent to various organizational staff on events such as his birthday or a holiday, to my composing an entire large directive that was issued under his name. In these instances, they were done without his knowledge or consent. The directive that I wrote concerned the Scientology policy of ‘Disconnection’. The order to do this came from David Miscavige. Miscavige said that we had to reinstitute the Policy of Disconnection and that I was to write the policy for this. I wrote it and it went through several revisions. It was not sent to Hubbard for his approval, but was issued into the Church of Scientology. I might note that at the time I was not working for the Church of Scientology, but was working for a for-profit corporation.”

  113. Where is the cowboy poet? Sorry to change the subject but I am looking for a good auditor in the Tempe area.

    My e-mail is 80Victoria08@hushmail.com

    Can someone help please?

  114. Martin Padfeild
    I saw your message in the Marthy Rathburn Blog
    If your scanning this site ,there are two Uk people that would like to talk to you
    Please email frog2hopper@yahoo.co.uk

  115. CD, TR’s don’t take the heart out of comm.

  116. A Very sad story you shared here.and I feel for you the way you wrote it and how much you wanted that hug .My Goodness its makes you want to cry.

    Take Care Jamie I hope things some day will turn to be better and Dad comes and hugs you again.
    My respect Froghopper

  117. Dear Cat Daddy,

    Just to clarify, Training Routine 3, a communication drill, refers to repeating the question or auditing command in the event one does not get an answer. In the example above, if Jamie asked a question “from the Heart”, and did not get an answer, then that question, repeated, might get an answer the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. The idea was to not give up asking the question just because there was no answer. I only threw that in because I believe Jamie has had some training, and it was just another way of saying “don’t give up if you don’t get a reply”. This worked very well handling my son.

    Yes, you are right, any communication from the heart is going to communicate better than something said robotically or insincerely.

    Also, I want to thank you again for that great reference in Creation of Human Ability that was changed in later editions. I told my son about that and he had the same cognition I did, that the Church and the body of knowledge that is Scientology are two different things. A few days ago, I was helping an old friend move, and he was going to give an older edition to Goodwill. I asked if i could have it, and lo, and behhold, it was an earlier edition with the original words of LRH before the change! I made the decision to obtain that copy when you told me about it on this blog, and there it was. I also obtained an early edition of green slim book “Introduction To Scientology Ethics” which had a quote in it that seems to have been deleted from later editions. Because I know you love these quotes, I will share it with you now: ” Ethics IS reason and the comtemplation of OPTIMUM survival.” –LRH It is my favorite definition of Ethics, and the first one I learned in Scientology. It is on an Intro page to this book.

    Note: In the original text, the words in CAPS above are italicized, so to emphasize them on this blog, I capitalized them.

    Keep those wonderful quotes and references coming — they are a delight!

  118. Virgil Samms

    Right on Janis, this is the BIG point. OSA knows what is going on is NOT SOURCE, but they still perpetuate it and still propogate black Dianetics.

    They really don’t think we are a bunch of nutcakes out here with nothing better to do than throw stones at the Church’s glass walls. They know we are on target. The disagree with our method, but they are not going to do anything about it either. They are waiting for Marty and crew to get an indictment on the man and then the are going to snap into action. Chicken-shit bastards.

    ML Tom

  119. Dear John,

    Thank you for bringing this up. That reference was one of the things that I used to handle my son. I told him about it over the phone and he found it on the internet. It seemed to make a great difference to him.

    I think it would be a good idea for any Scientologist from whom others have disconnected, to make copies of this and send it to the person doing the disconnection. It certainly will get them to think, and usually leads to them looking into other data. This is what happened to me many years ago when I started researching the subject of disconnection on the internet. The same thing happened with my son. Also, the actual policy letter in which LRH cancels disconnection is a good one to show such persons. It is in the earlier editions of the OEC Volumes. What is very interesting is that this is referred to in the NEW “Introduction To Scientology Ethics” issued by the Church as a Basics book. It is on page 207 under the heading of “HISTORY’:

    “Earlier, disconnection as a condition was cancelled. It had been abused by a few individuals who’d failed to handle situations which could have been handled and who lazily or irresponsibly disconnected, thereby creating situations even worse than the original because it was the wrong action.” — LRH

    Yes, this is in the latest Ethics Basics Book issued by the Church! If this isn’t proof that LRH cancelled disconnection, then I don’t know what would be! In an earlier post, I commented that DM must have forgotten to edit that one out! You can show that to any current member of the Church to support the fact that LRH did cancel disconnection. It lends credibility to Robert Vaughn Young’s affidavit that cancellation as a condition was re-instated without LRH’s knowledge.

    Just food for thought from a mad Mom,
    Lady Minn


  120. Martin Gibson

    Jamie I cant imagine your anguish, but if you have that theta link send your wins to him. At least let him know you love him, no matter what, and send him pictures of your happiness. ‘the embers of love shall duly flame again’ thats a rough quote from the movie ‘the notebook’. Messing with families… I always like seeing pictures of LRH with his kids, thats part of the secret, caring about people around one. Whats wrong with DM, firing blanks? Haha. I guess without experience its hard to comprehend, but messing with families is dumbass. The majority of the world disagrees so heavily with it that only an uber fool would expect to win on that operating basis.

  121. Dear Tory,

    What a great story! Thanks for sharing this with us. It goes to show what a repeated communication over a period of time can do!
    Yes, excellent suggestion, and very creative thinking, by that Dad. He definitely got his point across, didn’t he?

    We’ll have to create an Essay “101 Ways to Handle Disconnection”. If any others of you have stories of creative ways to get back into communication, let me know — they are successful actions! It will give hope to those who don’t know where to start.

    Much Love,
    Lady Minn

  122. Lady Minn your answer speaks of sincerety and depth to me.

    It did enter my mind the way you see things, the TR’s being a helpfull tool. Although I do not think the founder “developed” TR3 as such but sort of incorporated it into the TR’s. I will admit I do believe the founder developed the way they are trained in. It will become clear what I mean.

    To get a grasp of it I will spell them out in full TRAINING ROUTINES.

    What does this do? Training something is I think doing something over and over again untill it becomes”natural”. Pathways in the brain are formed that can become highways whith rigorous training.

    There is a part of the brain that “stores”routines. It is where the brain will search first if it is required to do a task. Why ? because the brain is lazy. It has to do with survival. Energy preservance. Thinking with the frontal lobes to come up with a solution for a task that has to be preformed requires more effort than doing it on Routine.

    An Example. Learning to drive a car. One could call it TR-car. Some make it their own quickly others need to train more. It is known that people drive on routine and even that people drive to work but can’t remember the drive. The brain likes that.

    Back to the Training Routines. What does this do ? It programms your brain . This isn’t shocking because we do it all the time as human beings.

    However when it is used to change emotional reactions to exposure to various situation or data critics get resstles and concerned.

    On a lighter note I could say my parents were very good at TR3.

    “don’t give up if you don’t get a reply”.

    I love the way you are never tired of explaining how you see things, why you see things and can make a clear-cut divide of what IS Scientology for you and what is just added on bagage for what purpose it might have been.

    ” Ethics IS reason and the comtemplation of OPTIMUM survival.” –LRH

    “Let me give you the definition of ethics: it is good to maintain life and to further life. It is bad to damage and destroy life. And this ethic, profound and universal, has the significance of a religion. It is religion.”

    – Albert Schweitzer

    Gratefull for your words I reside., Cat Daddy

  123. Boyd H. In this particulaircase I am totaly on board.


  124. peace love and happiness

    Wow Jamie….

    I am at a lost for words as tears flow from my eyes.

    I am experiencing the same thing with my father and unfourtunately the rest of my family.

    One day your dad will come back, stay strong and have fun!

    All my love

  125. *comforting hugs* to you, Jamie! Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story for others to see how this stupid, family-breaking, policy of disconnection is enforced within the Co$, thank you! 😥 My heart aches for what you father said and did, I hope that one day he WILL contact you and at the very least HUG HIS DAUGHTER AGAIN!! 😥
    I’m also experiencing this painful policy. As a dear, close friend of mine also recently disconnected with me and my heart hurts every day missing our chats, our friendship!! 😦 Michelle

  126. Dave Shelden

    Bravo Jack! Jamie, not only Jack is spot on, but it goes much deeper and the story gets better. There are no coincidences, there are no mistakes, all is as it should be. You know your father. This is not “him”! Please entertain the idea that this may be the situation, no matter how uncomfortable for both of you, that is needed for your father to break the chains that bind. Again, you know your father, Would he choose DM’s dictatorial out tech over you? I think not. I feel not. I know not. As do you. So the change in your father has already happened. Without this it may have been too hard to break free. But because you were willing to show up in running shoes and chase him down he now has a strength welling up inside that will enable him to make that break. It has already happened in the “spiritual” universe, it just takes a bit of “time” for the physical universe to catch up. Your father is leaving the church such as it is under the ass cheeks of Miss Savage, he just may not be aware of it yet. Maintain your position (power), and he will come. And what a lucky, lucky guy. I am sure that there are many who do not have such loving support waiting for them on the outside. Get the balloons, banner, and noisemakers ready, he is headed in like a camel to a watering hole; dying of thirst, comfort at last… Thank you for being there, he needs it.

    Always, in all ways,


  127. martyrathbun09

    I tend to agree with Dave S’s assessment.

  128. This is so sad, such loving perseverance on one side, and so very unnatural a response on the part of this father. It is hard to imagine the type of fear that must have been instilled to override all normal instinct. I am sure your dad will reflect on this, and that it will help to break the evil spell… Your story made me think of this line from the Bible, “Many waters cannot quench love.” I hope you will not be offended if I pray for the restoration of your family.

  129. Theo Sismanides

    Jamie, you are standing at the correct side now. Thank you for keeping your integrity as a Scientologist, a thetan, a human being.

    We are not small beings here. OSA knows that. They cannot stop us now. We have every right on this planet and the universe to do what we do. And we grow stronger everyday. Your father will once understand what you did for Scientology by changing sides. I congradulate you for your perceptions (which by the way is Dept 3 on the Org Board, and is the Department of Ethics).

    We will keep on putting Ethics in.

  130. one of those who see

    Hi Sweetheart, I have tears in my eyes just like everyone else. The amount of Theta, up the tone scale beings that are postulating the end of this enforced disconnection has to tip the scales. Relationships will be repaired and the damage to Scientology’s reputation will be restored. Hang in there and continue to Flourish and Prosper just like you are doing.

    From “What is Greatness”

    “…Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe.”

    Well done for applying the above. Hugs to you and your wonderful hubby.

  131. Dear Janis,

    This is a fantastic quote! I had never seen or heard of that one before. Wonderful reference to show those who would disconnect from their families.

    I myself had the experience of having to threaten a receptionist at Delphi in Oregon with calling the police to find out if my son was still there. He had disconnected from me by e-mail and I had missed the notice. I couldn’t get anyone to respond until I made the threat. I was going to do it, too, just to find out if my son was O.K. His Dad finally called me, screaming at the top of lungs, to let me know my son was O.K. and that he had disconnected. Wow! It was bad news, for sure, but at least I found out he was O.K. They then proceeded to send me a very formal Disconnect letter by FEDEX! Years later, (recently), my son let me know that he was coerced into doing this.

    When researching disconnection, the first story I found was of a Vicki Ford, who had a son in the Sea Org and had not heard from him for years, and she was concerned as he had a medical condition and she was worried he was being put on work details that would cause him further injury. I saw a video of her and her mother, the son’s grandmother, pleading for word of him, just to know that he was O.K. She had written numerous letters to public officials and to Congressmen. I read a copy of a letter she sent to the Attorney General of the United States. I couldn’t believe it! She herself was an attorney. What I couldn’t believe is that the Church would let the situation get so out of hand, with no handling, that she had to resort to actions such as this. Whatever perceived danger someone mocked up about her communication to her son, nothing could compare to the damage done by letters to Congressmen and Attorney Generals. Many years later, not too long ago, I found a website that had been put up by her son, saying he was O,K. and happy in the S.O. and married. I was relieved to hear it, and it wasn’t even my son!

    What really puzzles me is that OSA would let these situations go so far and let these vocal people cause so much damage, when a simple phone call, or letter, even if supervised, would resolve the whole thing. It makes no sense whatsoever! Someone, or many someones, just can’t think! Many of us on this blog have commented on the insanity of this disconnection thing, but you would think at some point, someone would wake up and LEARN! Even if your only concern was the protection of the Church, it would seem that these situations would get handled. Apparently, it IS going to take some Oprah shows to get some reality on the severity of the emotions and how far people will go when faced with disconnection.

    It appears from your reference that LRH saw all these problems long ago, and made it a POLICY for staff to stay in comm with their friends and family, knowing what would happen if they didn’t. Smart man, that LRH.

    Well, here I am, sudden again, but had to say it. Thanks for listening.

    Much love,
    Lady Minn

  132. one of those who see

    I wrote “Relationships will be repaired and the damage to Scientology’s reputation will be restored.”

    Should have written “Relationships will be repaired and Scientology’s good reputation restored.”

  133. Rory,

    Yes it is very real to me. It is so real that I can see only one action that has any hope at all of salvaging this PR mess:

    When the walls around the church fall, someone will have to step up and wear the ED hat and he/she will have to issue a BPI goldenrod that says something like:

    “As of before this date, all ethics orders of any kind ever issued for any reason are hereby cancelled without reservation.”

    A second issue can lay out more detail, giving examples and so on. Lets face it, there are likely something like 100,000 ethics orders out there and maybe 100 are valid for serious things. Who has the time to find the 100 in the middle of a raging flap?

    Clean the slate, admit the error with specifics, move on. That will go a long way towards regaining public trust. Look at the Catholic Church with the abuse cover-up stories – once officialdom and the law start to move in to put in ethics, the small window of opportunity to salvage reputation is gone.


  134. Thought Provoking

    What happened between your father and you is so sad. I actually needed to take a moment to let the pouring rain outside wash away the pain and entheta that is the current byproduct of the church.

    As many have stated, your love is the armour that will cut through the barriers presented by disconnection. Your certainty on the strength of your theta connection will eventually result in one with the physical universe. This I know from personal experience.

    It is up to us to push through all obstacles and lies within the church and to let the truth be known. As more and more truth is known, more and more suppression comes off and those that have been trapped will once again see and be able to experience theta. The future will be brighter for you and for many others who are experiencing disconnection. It really is time to pull out all the stops and to do whatever is necessary to get DM out of the church.

  135. Thanks Lady Minn,

    You mentioned it would be a good idea to show the actual policy by LRH cancelling disconnection. Here it is:

    Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex


    Since we can now handle all types of cases disconnection as a condition is cancelled.


    Incidentally, in digging that up I saw another policy worth mentioning. It shows how I think LRH would handle the current scene.

    Here it is:



    As there is enough misery in the world without contributing to it, and as the sole purpose of Ethics is to get in technology:

    To celebrate the fantastic gains following the discovery that almost all persons earlier audited had attained a State of First Stage Release and had then been run beyond it, and the wide success of rehabilitation of the state:

    A GENERAL AMNESTY is declared herewith, effective this date.

    1. All Ethics Orders and findings of Committees of Evidence prior to August 20, AD 15, are cancelled;

    2. All Ethics Reports are cancelled;

    3. Any person labelled suppressive or dead filed or whose certificates have been suspended or cancelled is restored to full status providing only yhat they have, without charge, a check out for Former Release;

    4. All overt or criminal or defiant acts before this date are forgiven fully and freely.

    By my hand and seal this 20th day of August AD15.


  136. Actually, you don’t have to wait until next time you are in Florida.
    You could simply write a simple note in your handwriting, saying “With fond memories. from your loving daughter.” (Or something similar).
    I’m sure you can find someone in Clearwater who is willing to do a delivery run to the security guard at his home for you.
    I’m sure that the security guard would agree to deliver a glass of milk and some cookies along with your note to your dad when he comes home at night.

  137. Deidre,

    Simplest explanation is probably the closest to the truth: Follow the money.

    As in:

    Some exec turns the C/S office into a profit centre. C/Ses and regges are hammered for quotas and their thinkingness descends to

    “How can I get more $$ out of this chick?”

    and they just make up any old shit as they go along. The usual shit they make up is shit that was seen to work elsewhere in the past.

    It’s depraved. You mentioned Giovanni – recall “The Boiler Room” and what his character got others to do.


  138. Remember Pulp Fiction?

    Talk about hypocrisy.

  139. Jamie,

    Hang in there girl. This will all come out right in the end – just keep using the PTS tech and don’t stop communicating.

    The results might not be instantaneous, but they do come.

    And a huge thumbs up for the way you handled that scene with your Dad. You tried to comm and he knows that. Let’s all hope the comm lag is a very short one!


  140. What a shocking story – father once filled with so much love literally running away from his own daughter.

    I would begin a letter writing campaign. As long as he is not in the sea org, there is no way anyone can interfer with his mail. You can also send certified letters if you are afraid they are not reaching him. Don’t give up – it may take a long time to crack the facade, but at some point, he will not be able to bear it. Send photos of yourself living life as postcards (if he is to afraid to open letters, he will have to see photos). Be creative with the postcards and envelopes. Put your phone number and email address on them. Little “I love you” and “remember when” messages. He would have to have a heart of stone to resist and it is hard to believe that the father of someone like you is really heartless.

    By thoughts are with you….

  141. Send him a bouquet of chocolate chip cookies.

  142. Jamie,
    this situation will be in your dad´s mind and for sure bring him back to you and your cockies and milk.
    And your E/O was/is – what I experienced often with Scientologists who are only connected to other Scientologists – not knwowing at all what is going on in the world , what daily life´s business is. Your profession is actress – so what you do is a PLAY , nothing else… LRH writes a lot about playing and also about the serious citizen. But here is something nice from LRH:



    Carry on exercising your rights


  143. Agreed Tom, can’t wait til down the road a bit one of these “Chicken-shit bastards” try to use the “I was just following orders” defense…also known as the “Nuremberg defense” to explain their complicity in the crimes “ordered” by DM.
    OSA Trolls, you are guilty and we hold you accountable for your actions!

  144. As many used to tell me when I first left, and OSA was ragging on me:
    “You KNOW you’re doing ~something~ right, when C of $ is so very upset about it-to the point of writing trash about you”.

    I never forgot that, and it’s helped me through
    many trying times. TLC

  145. Redneck Janette From Detriot

    We didn’t get a chance to formally meet at the 4th party, but know you have friends here in FL that would be happy to delivery cookies and milk and love notes for you all for the cause. I cried when I read your posting! Your dad will come around, it’s only a matter of time!

  146. Jamie, There isn’t one person here that can’t duplicate how that scenario with your Dad made you feel. The pain of being disconnected from by friends and family is so huge, I can’t find words for it. I am so thankful and grateful that there are now friends and a “new family” waiting for those that are out.
    From your description of how your Dad reacted to you, it makes me believe that he loves you so much that he can’t trust himself to hold his own space and/or his own truth if he engages with you. (for now, at least and however misguided) And, as we all agree, the threats and pressure existing today in the COS must be beyond scary .
    When I was kicked out, the pain was so tremendous whenever I thought about all the friends and family that had disconnected from me and I didn’t know what to do with all the love I still felt for them. A good and wise friend told me that “love is never wasted.” I still believe that.
    Marsha Pearlman Sorensen

  147. Joe Pendleton

    This is almost a surreal story. Hard to believe a father who was so close to his daughter would agree to this. But we have to remember: HE HAS IN FACT AGREED TO IT. Miscavige and Co can order anything they want. But HE is still the being who gave up all his money and abandoned his loved daughter. What I continually have trouble wrapping my head around is how he (and others) rationalize this behavior with being on “The Bridge” to “total freedom.” Total freedom? Sounds like slavery/mind control, and yet he (and others) feel they are being enlightened about life? That they are becoming happier and more aware?????????? It is very difficult for me to really understand why so many Scientologists are not aware of being aware. On the other hand, there are many of us who ARE aware of being aware, so that’s the flip side.

    Marty, keep exposing all this. Keep getting this group’s ethics in.

    And let’s not forget, the REAL handling is personal responsibility. This father can ALWAYS say “no.”

  148. War and Peace

    The reptilian predator Miscavige knows only one way to handle people:

    Domination, threat, force, sentencing to the RPF for YEARS, sentencing to SP HOLE, punching people in the gut, beating SO members, spitting on SO members, engaging in assault and battery, shipping them to Freewinds and Australia out of US jurisdiction ~~enforcing mad SEANCES where those in SP Hole abuse each other.

    Marc Yager and Mike Rinder had to live in tents out in the field in isolation with a garden hose to shower with for a very long time.
    Both were beaten repetitively and extensively by Miscavige.

    The problem with Yager lying about this with affidavits that it never happened is that lying with affidavits and lying under deposition are 2 different things…..

    Enforcing DISCONNECTION between family members has its own fallout.
    DM has made Tommy Davis the laughing stock of the Scientology community “no disconnection” ………Ha !
    DM has turned the Church of Scientology in a CULT following of himself.

    The despicable new FREEDOM magazine and attacks on Marty make me commit myself deeper and further than ever before….

    Jamie, your story is important, thanks for sharing.

  149. Wow!!!!

    A friend of mine, still in, handed me that reference to show me that Disconnection was re-instituted BY LRH and that the former policy canceling disconnection was no longer in force. I was a bit stunned since so many Freezoners walk around the orgs with huge blowups of the Cancellation of Disconnection PL.

    Thank you so much for showing this to us, John. Now, I realize the seriousness of the alterations. Which, now include WHOLESALE creations of Policy Letters that LRH never wrote. I never knew this.

    I can see why Marty described himself as “radio active” when he listened to the Black Dianetics lecture and at once realized COB’s (Camera Operating Boy) implementation of such.

    The more I read and find out, the more I am starting to melt down. The anger is getting more intense and the level of betrayal is compounding. I was actually being destroyed. And at the same time, I was making myself LOVE IT.

    I just attained an “OT level” in independentness today.



    P.S. Marty, Can you please post that lecture on Black Dianetics, or direct me to it if it is already posted on the blog? Thanks.

  150. Splog, you’re undoubtedly right, but that is inherently sexist, especially in the entertainment industry. Men still consistently outearn women.

    None of the top 20 earning actors are female.


  151. Freedom Fighter


  152. Jamie,

    I think Stella’s got a wonderful idea here: “Send photos of yourself living life as postcards (if he is to afraid to open letters, he will have to see photos). Be creative with the postcards and envelopes. Put your phone number and email address on them. Little ‘I love you’ and ‘remember when’ messages. He would have to have a heart of stone to resist and it is hard to believe that the father of someone like you is really heartless.”

    Sweet, beautiful Jamie — you are a daughter any father would be proud of. I know your dad is proud of you. Like others above have said, I too think your dad will come around. Just give him all the chances he needs to do so.

    Our parents are people, too. They screw up, sometimes big-time. And as someone else said above, “Love is never wasted,” especially unconditional love. Just keep loving him and telling him you love him.

    Just Me

  153. Freedom Fighter

    In reading this I had a cog: it’s not the “evil SP” they can’t confront and that causes them to run and hide in many cases. It’s the consequences that will rain down upon them from the church if they even remotely seem like they’re cohorting with the “enemy”. When friends and family are involved, the reach/can’t reach this creates in them is quite an amazing phenomenon to observe. It’s the ne plus ultra problem.

  154. Mareka James


    oh my gosh this brought tears to my eyes and by the time I saw the cookie my eyes were flooding so much I needed a mop. Disconection is such a horrible, horrible thing. I feel your pain and wish for a speedy reunion between you and your father. X

  155. Virgil Samms

    Damn W&P – you are perpetually SUDDEN! I get excited when you talk like this and I cannot wait until the day I can shake your hand.

    Lots of Love, Tom

  156. Martin,

    I’m always greatly troubled by disconnection stories (especially Jamie’s, whom I’ll address below), but there is something about forcing 8-year old girlfriends to disconnect that is particularly appalling. I’m glad you are “naming and shaming.” By doing so, you will prevent this from happening to someone else’s daughter. Evil unconfronted is evil perpetuated.

    Because your comment is both factual (time, place, form and event), relevant and compelling, I cross-posted your story to the Ex-Scientologist Message Board (ESMB) and Why We Protest (WWP), the home of Anonymous on the web.



    I did so in order to spread the word. I also did so on the theory that the more people who know about, and are appalled by, the disconnection policy, the sooner the “official” Church of Scientology will be forced to end the policy.

    Thank you for speaking out. The more people who do, the sooner this disgusting policy will be ended.

    — Kha Khan

  157. Speaking of splitting up families, my home city is experiencing some DM heavy handed action right now against prominent indies.

    It’s real and it sucks.

    Steve Hall has written an awesome solution:


  158. This is so beyond me. I can hardly grasp the insanity of this and I have been in the SO for almost 2 decades. This is cracy beyond believe.

    Well done Jamie! I think you impinged on your dad. I hope he musters up some courage and starts looking for real answers.

  159. martyrathbun09

    IO, can you tell me who the prominent Indies you are referring to?

  160. Hi Nancy! In the midst of this – I just want to say hello to an old friend from CCLA, one of my former seniors! I hope you and Chris are well!!

  161. Jamie,
    I applaud your courage and bravery, and commitment to the truth you know, your personal integrity. I have never been in your position exactly, my family was not in Scientology, but I barely made it out of the SO in time to spend my dad’s last 6 months with him before he moved on. Just from reading your story and seeing your intention shine through, I know you and your dad will be reunited.

  162. ΘTater/GaryLerner


    “Chicken-shit bastards.” !!!

    You just about AS-IS’d them with that truth!!

    It’s amazing that just one DiMwit can make so many supposedly intelligent and dedicated S.O. members, be totally suppressive to your fellow beings. (You guys do remember that you ARE thetans, right? If not … BE THREE FEET BEHIND YOUR HEADS!)

    WOW! are you folks F_ _ K_D UP!! Sorry for being blunt but it seems that the only way to communicate with you is to poke you with a stick. What do you think is going to happen if you (hey, just a few of you) got up and walked out? You gonna die? You gonna fall down and vaporize? If you can wipe your own ass then get up off of it and tell DimWit to stick it and just fucking LEAVE!!!


    Jamie and Tiziano,

    I am a “pissed-off” OT. Know this. I truly empathize and postulate that your happiness will soon be realized.

    Nothing but “Cookies and Milk” for your family!

    Love and ARC,

    ΘTater/Gary (aka SuddenTaters)

    (sarge is rubbing off on me) 🙂

  163. Hi Jamie ,
    Your story moved this tough-ass northern redneck to tears.
    As a father I know that what you did has started your Dad on his journey back to you and thus to himself as well.
    I look forward to reading about the reunion which will come as sure as the sun will rise again.

  164. Jamie,

    I’m very sorry about the situation with your father. I find the situation very troubling.

    As I said to Martin Padfield above, I am very glad you are speaking out. It is only by speaking out that you can prevent this from happening to another daughter. It is only by speaking out that you can get your own father back.

    I’ll note that, for once beating me to the punch, somebody else cross-posted your story to Why We Protest (WWP), the home of Anonymous on the web:

    WWP: Jamie Sorrentini’s story – incredible!!

    I cross-posted your story to the Ex Scientologist Message Board (ESMB):

    ESMB: Jamie Sorrentini’s story

    We do so to help inform others and to put pressure on the “official” Church of Scientology to end the practice of disconnection and allow you to see your father.

    Finally, please forgive me if I end with a cliche. I feel compelled to add that as long as there is life, there is hope. As someone said earlier, the only thing you can do, other than speaking out and urging others to do so, is to communicate to your father. Do not give up.

    — Kha Khan

  165. Dear Jamie,

    My heart goes out to you given that you are subjected to the depraved actions and policies of this so called church. If I can lend my two cents: Just keep doing the right things (like communicating) and your relationship with your father will come out all right. Just maintain your position in space.

    Allow me to add that when I read your story this morning I became drenched in sadness. It has continued all day. You see, all of this crap (better yet shit sandwich) that that we have been forced to chew and swallow during the now decades long tenure of this depraved, broken being has diverted all of the goodness from such able players to the handling his dramatizations.

    I see our world now on a course toward something akin to chaos or worse. I’ve always understood quite intimately that that was what Ron worked to hard to avert.

    David’s done his job. He’s taken the best and the brightest and tied them in a knot, so to speak. The real jobs end up not being attended to- the dynamics including 4,5 and 6 not exclusive.

    Dynamics end up in less than power, often much worse.

    I see history, our collective consciousness, as having been subverted by dm and those who are behind him. Going back to that period before dm came to his fraudulent position, I believe mankind truly supported the efforts of LRH. It showed in the actual stats.

    The church today is composed of beings hiding bodies.

    How sad.

    Never-the-less we carry on. It’s the right thing to do.

    My best wishes to you and yours- onward and upward.

    Sincerely yours,

    Tom Gallagher

  166. Tory, You’re openly against the tech and LRH, on your own website and all over the internet. It’s clear to me you’re either an SP or in need of some major case work. You’re trying to steer people away from going up the Bridge, and there’s no subtle differentiation about it, your writings are very straightforward. When you’re here I get the feeling we might fail because we’re moving towards esmb-land, and that’s the wrong direction. This post today about Jamie’s Dad should be a wake up call to everyone here. The enemy is extremely LOW DIFFERENTIATION and unwillingness to confront data which LRH allows you to view, and insists on you viewing.

    But you don’t offer up any differentiation, or if you do it’s so hidden in the volume of your entheta postings that in effect you don’t, and that’s intentional. What do you think the effect of people coming onto this website for the first time and seeing your name all over the place is?
    We can’t afford to present a picture which is so finely tuned even I can’t grasp it, and I’ve been reading everything everywhere.

    So can you understand that and not post here? There’s no real reason for you to chime in, it’s zero steps forward and 50 steps backwards. I know what your intentions are and if you’d given yourself an ice-water dip and turned things around, then minimally you wouldn’t be posting your name with links to your websites.

  167. Jamie,

    I just discovered that the prior, longer ESMB thread on your story is:

    Another win for the “church”

    I wanted to give you the best data.

    — Kha Khan

  168. ΘTater/GaryLerner

    Ahhh, there’s nothing like a little War and Peace to fire up the lights of truth!

    Always admired your style. 🙂

    ΘTater/Gary (exRW)

  169. It is way to often that a story like this is told.
    I’m so sorry that your father can not share his love with you.

    I know what it is like to have a father turn his back on his child. It is not okay.

    I was declared SP over 20 years ago for telling Shelly M that if LRH was here none of this would be happening.

    The violation of LRH policy has been on going for a long time. RTC at that time was stopping comm between 2d’s and telling people that they were responsible for other conditions. As a messenger I knew that the actions of the COB office were off policy, I just did not know that applying LRH policy would land me on the RPF’s RPF in happy valley. I asked for months to be put on a LSRF and was denied. So I took matters into my own hands and left.

    Sorry to go on like this I just really want you to know that I feel your pain.

    My family disconnected from me. I wrote letters, via the IJC, and have never gotten a responce. It has been 20 years and I have had no comm with my family. stupidly I still hold out a little hope that we will be able to reconcile. It never gets easy.

    I hope that one day he will wake up and see how far off the rails he has gone. If he really looked at the source policy he would find his way to true happiness.

    the most important thing that has made this cycle bareable is good and true friends, which you have plenty. I feel I can speak for everyone when I say. Feel free to lean on all of us as much as you want and need.

    cheers D

  170. martyrathbun09

    Boyd, are you condemning her for what she has posted elsewhere or here? If it is here, I must have missed it. Can you refer me to it. If you don’t like her stuff elsewhere, then why not write her directly or on the forum where the material you object to is? Anyone can comment here if he/she can keep civil, not propagandize, nor offend the majority of regular visitors whose general views are pretty easily understood.

  171. Boyd, she’s showing support for re-connection. She left the church, in part, because people weren’t able to search my name on the internet 🙂 and because Scientologists’ communications were being covertly censored.

    I also am not one to evaluate other people’s case states publicly, no matter what I may think. I don’t think it’s constructive.

    Had I experienced Tory’s epilepsy adventures while in, I’d probably be less interested in the tech as well.

  172. Wow, you know I was trying to picture my Mom & Dad who have passed away long ago. Running from me. It would be unimaginable- However- here is what is not being said and what is really happening. These beings are not being keyed in by some little SP. It is what has been done to the tech. I believe what must be remembered and how “unimaginable” it all is, is what Marty Cognited on before he left. This is reverse Scientology and reverse Dianetics. These poor beings the more auditing there getting the worse they are getting. Believe me the tech is awful at Flag and the closer you get to the “very best” auditors the worse the auditing is. It has made a man who once would do anything for his daughter become a complete Psycho. It cannot be lessoned how horrible the auditing is these days. Overruns, underruns, sec checks etc. etc. The e-meter is used as a weapon of the worst sort. The SP Miscavige has no power he uses the tech to destroy people. With every I cant believe people are doing this – behind that it must be realized that they are not getting Scientology-they are getting reverse Scientology. The old adage “any auditing is better than no auditing” does not hold true anymore. These beings are literally being destroyed by “the Golden Age of Tech.” The good news Jamie is a few hours of Standard tech by someone like Marty or Trey Lotz or Glenn Samuels and your Dad could be made whole again.

  173. D-

    Let me indicate my utter admiration.

  174. Marty her link is here, she hasn’t written anything bad here. Also Tory is well known. I think airing it out here is better and would blow charge. I understand you’re trying to be fair, but I gotta be me.

  175. For Jamie:

    “If you repent,” the auditor said
    “your sins might be forgiven.
    Even on your dying bed
    You’re not too late for heaven.”

    That’s just my cup of tea, DM thought,
    Though for my sins I sorrow
    Since salvation is easy bought
    I will repent … to-morrow.

    To-morrow and to-morrow went,
    But though his youth was flying,
    He was reluctant to repent
    Having no fear of frying.

    Tis plain, he mused, “I need to sin”
    (To Satan’s jubilation)
    “Their all against me, I must win”
    “It will be their humiliation”

    So he did sin, and did torment
    Aye, never hearing the death bell
    His timings good, and we are spent
    Me thinks he’s on the train to hell

  176. martyrathbun09

    Ok I’ll check out the link next mod cycle – I usually check them.

  177. rory Medford


    Keep outflowing your father will flow back in due time. no greater bond then father daughter, he has NOT forgotten the good times with you. Its just buried under the crap from the C of S and DM”s nonsesne

  178. Jamie this awful situation has been repeating itself since long before you were born. you are one of thousands and thousands, it saddens me to see it continue

  179. Marty,
    Ever the optomist I have another take on it. The 12 have their own reasons for not escaping. Possibly hoping they will have an opportunity for a Palace Coup at some point and conspired in some way to write what they knew
    DM in his psychosis would approve, knowing that it would create exactly the effect it has of alerting those with eyes to see that something grave is wrong. It takes a 5th column along with the regular opposing army to win a war, no?

  180. Jamie,
    Just keep applying PTS Type A handling! Good roads good weather. Send him candy, flowers. Send a return requested letter with nothin in it but I love you.

  181. Wow. Man, all I can say is “I relate.” You put it so succinctly talking about how your “father has lost everything he has worked for his whole life- his wife, his daughter, his future. He has given every cent he has to the church. He has 80,000 dollars of debt, he drives a scooter because he can’t afford to buy a car and even worse, he is living alone after 34 years of marriage. It makes me wonder, how far will one go to keep making themselves right?”

    I have seen that time and time again. People who are deep in debt, have no car (or a very old one) are “OT” (so they’re supposed to be super-powerful) yet they have nothing.

    I am sorry you lost your father. I sincerely hope he comes to his senses.

    All I know is after 10 years of “waiting” for Scientology to show me how to do well in life, I’m doing better than ever now that I left.

    For the first time in ten years, I actually have money in my bank account, a successful 2D relationship and a successful business.

    Indeed, how far will people go to keep making themselves and DM right?

  182. I want to thank everyone for your love and support. I wanted to get my story out there to expose some of the insanity that is taking place in the church. I didn’t mean to make you all cry. However reading all these comments made ME cry. It is sad how many people have experienced or are still experiencing the pain of disconnection. But on a brighter note, it makes me feel good to know that I am not alone. It was surprisingly therapeutic to read all these loving comments.

    I have faith that all this will come to an end one day and that we will get our loved ones back. I am not giving up.

  183. Thank you is what I meant to say!




  184. Back in 1984 my best friend had to disconnect from his dad. He told me about it one night while we were drinking and I was someone who would listen. The next morning he had his mother who was was at the top of the bridge at the time explain to me what was going on with Scientology and I also remember her showing me “Story of a Squirrel”. It made sense in a warped kind of way as I grew up LDS (mormon). I always knew that some day I may have to disconnect from a family member when I became a Scientologist.

    I have a question for you independents out there, What is done about all the disconnection policies that are written by LRH?

    The story is heartbreaking but I can’t help but think that that how the game was set up.

  185. Tory is a member of Independent Scientologists (http://independentscientologists.ning.com/) which is the site I run and I must say she has been a stellar contributor with no negativity about the tech or LRH whatsoever.

    I am glad she is a member.

    After all, who am I to define what an Independent Scientologist is? If somebody is still applying the ARC triangle, the dynamics, or some other Scientology principle, wouldn’t that indicate some level of being a Scientologist?

    Some may understandably not call themselves such, having had such a bad experience in the “church.” As long as such people can keep their communication at a level similar to what Marty expects on this blog, they are more than welcome to join.


  186. Lady Minn,

    You said, ” ‘ Ethics IS reason and the comtemplation of OPTIMUM survival.’ –LRH It is my favorite definition of Ethics, and the first one I learned in Scientology. It is on an Intro page to this book.”

    This is one of my all time favorite LRH quotes as well. This definition is actually my stable datum for what Ethics is.

    The Intro to Ethics books seem to have gotten fatter and fatter over time. That has seemed strange to me because a lot of the power of the original work was its simplicity and brevity, at least for me.

    I missed the Creation of Human Ability alterations that were cited – would love to know if someone could direct me again.

  187. Beautiful. Thanks for posting this poignant performance. I have a private love for Piazzola.

  188. xsctstaff,

    Please accept my admiration, too. I am happy to hear of your “good and true friends.” You are rich beyond measure to have them.

    Just Me

  189. Sono estremamente sconcertata per quello che è successo a voi,ma sono ancora più convinta che le famiglie distrutte da queste forme di controllo possono creare molti problemi alla chiesa.
    Una domanda che mi pongo è come mai anche gli OT si odiano tra loro? Come mai anche prima di questi eventi molti fratelli e sorelle ed anche nipoti hanno disconnesso dal loro stesso sangue senza un intervento forzato????
    Ma solo perchè affermavano di aver ricevuto dei torti e non guardavano tutta la verità?
    Qual’è il tipo di pensiero che è stato accettato invece di chiarire le cose in maniera profonda e sincera?
    Forse anche quello che è successo a voi è il risultato finale di cose che voi stessi avete perpetrato verso altri familiari ????
    L’amore non può essere gestito o controllato da niente e nessuno ,esiste al di là di qualsiasi disconnessione voluta o forzata.
    E l’amore fluisce e penetra in ogni angolo di questo ed altri universi…..sempre!
    Ed io vi amo al di là di tutto.

  190. Jaimie,

    As others have said here, love is eternal. It does not change with change. It does not give up. It does not surrender to difficult circumstances. It perseveres.

    Courage only manifests in the face of danger. The greater the danger, the greater the opportunity for courage to prevail.

    Same with love. The greatest love I’ve felt for others has come in trying times: when the need to rise above the fray gave emphasis to those profound feelings.

    Living is a drama that unfolds. We do not remember the games that were easy. We remember the moments when we prevailed when it seemed we would not. The games that fans remember are those won despite overwhelming odds, when the winning team is down and somehow comes back to win at the last moment. The last second shot. The buzzer beater.

    I have often mused that if there is a God, he invented the devil to make things interesting. What kind of game would there be if we knew the outcome every time, if we had not opposition, if everything were too easy? Does any of us enjoy a game against someone so overmatched as to be an embarrassment?

    Jack and Dave talked about this greater game that exist beyond the human level, that goes on life after life, that is scripted beyond human comprehension. All the negative emotions, problems and setbacks that try our souls as humans simply make life more interesting to us as thetans.

    I would suspect that the most powerful sense of love that you’ve felt for your father has been in trying times. That’s when the energy and forces of those feelings come most into play.

    So rather than despair over your father’s actions, you can look to the future where you can thank him for his sacrifice. It isn’t easy for him to give you this opportunity to have such profound and intense feelings.

    But, this lifetime is temporary. And the circumstances of this lifetime are merely chances to learn and experience. So, embrace the passion, and give life its due. Chase the red scooters, cry till you can cry no more, and love with such intensity that the turbulence falls away.


    A bit from Shakespeare. Though not an easy read, well worth the effort, A quick scan will not let the meanings emerge:

    Let me not to the marriage of true minds
    Admit impediments. Love is not love
    Which alters when it alteration finds,
    Or bends with the remover to remove:
    O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
    It is the star to every wandering bark,
    Whose Worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
    Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
    Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
    Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
    But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
    If this be error and upon me proved,
    I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

  191. Hey, does anybody know what’s happened to Tom Whittle? After getting over the shock that Freedom Magazine has fallen lower than the worst supermarket tabloid, my second thought was that Tom can’t possibly have gone along with this willingly. Any data on this?

  192. This is funny, a post about the evils of disconnection and Boyd is trying to get someone removed.

    Thanks Marty and others for standing up for Tory.

  193. Thank you for writing this Michael.

    There really are some amazing readers on this blog. The contributions of wisdom are awesome. More than that, they cause reflection and change. Change for the better.

    No wonder this site keeps getting more and more popular.

  194. “It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

    – William Shakespeare

    Jamie I wish you and your loved ones much strenghth.


  195. OnceUponaTime, Bravo your post makes for a beautiful read.


  196. “Forse anche quello che è successo a voi è il risultato finale di cose che voi stessi avete perpetrato verso altri familiari ????”

    (Google translation)

    “Perhaps what has happened to you is the result of things that you have committed yourself to other family members??”

    Is this a clever way to ask her:”What are your crimes”

    Enough of this “you must have pulled it in” mumbo jumo

    The onley ones who need their arses kicked by karma are DM and his discipels of deception.

  197. omg..I seriously feel for you. My heart is with you.

  198. Marty, I hope that you are judicious enough that you will not ban Tory from your board at Boyd’s request.

    I believe that he is taking an extremely narrow (and inaccurate) view in describing Tory’s position as “anti-tech.” If you read what she has posted on her site and elsewhere, she is nothing of the sort; she doesn’t subscribe to the tech herself, but has no issue with anyone else doing so. She in fact supports those seeking the tech outside of COS.

    Seeing how DM has hopelessly squirreled the subject from the basics to the highest levels, it would seem this is the only way for people to obtain proper tech.

    Tory’s main focus has been to protest the abuses of the Church. I would point out that there are plenty of individuals who are not Scientologists that support your efforts in this area, as well as your right to practice Scientology outside the narrow confines of the Church.

  199. Jamie,

    Go out and play any G..d D..mn role you want! You’re free!

    Get your name and your face out there in such a big capacity that your dad will be reminded of you constantly.

    Flourish and prosper.


  200. Thank you for posting these great references.

    I personally LOVE the ending of HCOPL 20 August AD65 :

    « By my hand and seal this 20th day of August AD15.

    Founder »

    « By my hand and seal ….. L. RON HUBBARD
    Founder »

  201. martyrathbun09

    I’d like to know too. I suppose Tom has been relegated to filing or some such. He was a problem for DM, because Tom Whittle could investigate, and did investigate what he wrote about.

  202. Sadley this is true

  203. Mary McConnell

    This is such a sad yet familiar story. So sorry for your loss here, Jamie. Don’t ever give up hope.
    Can people send your father heartfelt postcards asking him to contact you? If so, what is his first name? I want to make sure he receives mine.

    Best wishes,

  204. John Nunez Do you have a link to that please ?

  205. Jamie & Tiziano,
    Thank you for the story. WOW! I truely empathize with you and your sadness. You have my support in your endeavors.

    On a positive note, you definitely touched a button with your father, not to mention the security guardess, and obtained good TA. VWD!

    Remember that you can Θ BE THERE Θ, and communicate, anywhere Θ, including apartments in apartment buildings …ΘΘ

    My postulates are that you soon physically reconnect with all your loved ones.

  206. The link for Robert Vaughn Young’s declaration is here:


    The policy letters are in the earlier edition of the OEC Volumes, Volume 1. You can find those online (sorry don’t have a link handy.)

  207. Kookaburra on ESMB (reacting to some posted snippets and links on the subject)

    “These are the references. His last one, HCOB 10 September 1983 PTSness AND DISCONNECTION © 1991 L. Ron Hubbard Library., is only quoted in very small part. It is quite a long PL and is the one written by Robert Vaughn Young on David Miscavige’s order.

    Between 1968 and 1983, disconnection was not to be used to handle a PTS situation. All upsets and antagonism were handled by getting in comm, finding out what the person’s concerns were, reassuring them that the Scientologist was fine, or DAing the entheta, whatever was appropriate, but all with a view of maintaining a good relationship with family and friends.

    The Suppressive Acts PL was still in existence, and you were not supposed to talk to declared SPs, but as someone mentioned above, an SP was so inherently evil that no-one in their right mind would go within a mile of one. And declares were few and far between. So it never really seemed to effect anything.

    After ’83, that policy existed but I think it took a few years for it to start to be used. After a full turnover of staff and public, I think, about 10 years, so you had a new crop of Scientologists who didn’t know the “old” way of handling using Scientology basics and common sense. Then they just went crazy on the disconnections and it is getting worse and worse. Ripping apart families is now standard practice.

    I recently was told by the ex fiance of someone who got into Scn that the woman who got in was told to disconnect from everyone she knew including her fiance. This was Sydney org, by the way, so the comments by Virginia Stewart to the senate committee, that she had never heard of disconnection show that OSA personnel are extremely sheltered from Scientology policy and practice. Or maybe she was telling a porkie.”

  208. My aim was to find something about a Dad in Italian but “O mio babbino caro” Had a text that was just too dramatic but than again its beautiful.

  209. Chris Black

    Hey Jamie,

    I don’t know you – you don’t know me, but you know, from what I read, I really got it, so I think I know you some now. You know, good ol’ A, R, C & U. So thanks. 🙂

    But what I also want to say is you did real good. Youu kept YOUR code of honor in, and THAT is the most important thing one can do in life. As you said, you kept your integrity. I’m sorry for the insanity you had/have to confront; the confront of evil is sometimes pretty hard to bear. But you did real good.

    You got real friends here who support you like real scientologists should and would. I’m so glad you are creating such a wonderful life with Jamie.

    You two just rock!


    P.S. Kewl on the motorcycle – what kind? I just bought an HD Ultra a couple of years ago. Oh, and for the 20 years I was on staff, I NEVER gave up my bike! No way. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  210. Cat Daddy,

    Your intention was clear. The emotions expressed in this performance do totally jibe with the kind of distress and loss an incident like Jamie’s story would evoke. (In time, though, I do think her Dad will be resurrected to her; he can’t help but be mulling things over night after night as he tries to sleep).

    Adios Nonino – Spanish, I believe – was written by Piazzolla (Argentinian) on his own father’s passing.

    Great choice. Thanks.

  211. Mike Hobson

    We don’t do “you pulled it in!” here, Queeny.

    Michael A. Hobson

  212. Marc Abian your briar patch comment from a few months ago wasn’t missed on me. So I have no doubt why you rush to defend Tory staying here. So just play dumb but I know your MO and everything, and you’re not going to win this.

  213. thecountesskrak

    No to mention that he played a pimp as well

  214. Such a sad story to hear:(
    Be sure to tell us when he reconnects!!!

  215. Wow. Just wow…

    While I’m overjoyed to read about how well things are generally going in your life, I’m very sorry to read your story about you & your dad.

    I hope he cognites on how suppressed he actually is and has the courage to disconnect from it all.

    And of course, I wish you and your family the best.

  216. The Smoking Man

    I sent you some data, just tried to log into my hushmail account and for some odd reason my password doesn’t seem to be working.

    hmmmm, I wonder if I missed a withhold on Miscavige. If you got the info, you can just acknowledge me on your board.

  217. red and hot

    There is a picture of her on a red hot Ducati and a link to her local Duck Shop, so I guess she went back to her Italian roots. Go girl!

    Fabulous post. Very moving. We have got to keep exposing the insanity of all this.

    How do people keep being sucked in!?!

  218. HEY! WHO’S “Mr. Annonymous” inquirer out there?? ….Yup…. it is I, alive n well… cheers! Ian

  219. Pingback: Ex-Scientologist story #371, “Buy more basics,” or else! « Androvillans's Blog

  220. Pingback: Scientology Disconnect & Facebook Nazis | Moving On Up a Little Higher

  221. I am sad reading this. I am a mother.
    Something will happen to make Dad come to his senses.

  222. Pingback: Proč se církev bojí internetu | independent beings

  223. Gloria Caldas

    Jaime. My name is Gloria Caldas. I grew up in Puerto Rico on the same block as your dad. He, my husband Manolo Blanco and I called ourselves the “Mod Squad.” We were always together doing the things normal people did in their late teens and early 20’s. We took Karate lessons, hung out and ate mac and cheese and toatones which was all I knew how to cook, then chocolate chip cookies and milk for dessert. I’m saddened to hear what’s happened. I’ve lost touch with your dad too. Those were great times. Wish I could tell you some of our stories. Hugs dear girl. Had we been closer geographically I would have probably been your Titi Gloria.

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