Ziba Feulner – Independent OT VIII

I am a Scientologist, and I know that LRH’s technology works 100%
if applied correctly. I started my journey in Scientology in
1988 in Germany, and over the years I have learned a great deal: I
am a trained auditor – Class 5 Graduate, FPRD, HRD. As a trained
Auditor I have delivered several thousands of hours of auditing to
others. I am also a trained supervisor. Additionally, I have done
many courses to learn about Scientology Ethics and Administrative
Technology. Furthermore, I have gone up the bridge to OT8 (I have
attested to OT8 in 2007).

In recent times I have come to understand that many parts of
Scientology technology is no longer being applied in a standard
manner. I have also observed that worldwide Scientology statistics
are downtrending with Scientology organizations not expanding.
Furthermore, I have observed that prices for auditing and training
in Scientology are exorbitantly high so that only a small
percentage of people are able to go up the bridge and experience
the wins LRH had intended for them. Being that I am trained in
LRH’s PTS/SP technology, I know that these circumstances are not
mere chance but purposely made to be so by a suppressive person; I
firmly believe that this suppressive person is the self-appointed
dictator of the Church of Scientology: David Miscavige.
In the last three years I have conducted extensive research.

Although you may have been driven to silence, by means of
suppressive intimidation by the Cof$, I highly recommend that you
conduct your own personal research to come to the truth, without
leaving SCIENTOLOGY. Below you will find some websites that you can
visit to learn more. My research made clear to me that David
Miscavige is a Suppressive Person. By methods of intimidation,
false propaganda, and general suppression Miscavige uses his
position to eliminate the application of standard LRH technology
and stops Scientologists from going up the Bridge to total Freedom.
Following are some factors to think about:

Over the years I have visited many organizations and as per my
observations these orgs were struggling and not expanding at all,
although the many Miscavige propaganda events falsely try to
convince you otherwise. Scientology organizations are not expanding
because people are purposely held back to go up the bridge:
Scientologists are harassed into donating for all kinds of things
BUT the bridge: the IAS, Super Power projects, Planetary
Dissemination, or for ever-changing LRH books (They are now being
“corrected” for the fifth time to FORCE public to buy them again).
Miscavige’s newest invention to extract money from Scientologists:
“Ideal Orgs”. As a trained EstO, I understand that LRH advises
against “Having to have before one can do”; however, Miscavige
convinced Scientologists that we need posh palace-like org
buildings in order to be able to expand Scientology organizations.
Miscavige’s largest money making machine – the IAS – has gathered
hundreds of millions of dollars from Scientologists over the past
decades; so, if posh buildings are the answer to org expansion why
are those millions of dollars not being used to purchase these
buildings? Why are Scientologists being forced into further large
donations for “their ideal orgs”? However, what are those millions
of $$ used for? Here some interesting links:
https://markrathbun.wordpress.com/31-factors/ (Factor Nr.3),

Another example of stopping Scientologists going up the Bridge and
to deprive them of even more money is the inventions of Bridge
steps that have to be “re-done because we found another LRH
reference.” Furthermore, the invention of “the Golden Age of Tech”
which is a method to learn LRH’s tech verbatim is a means to force
auditors to re-do their prior training “because the old training
was no good.” They of course have to pay for their entire training
again. Golden Age of Tech is a direct violation of LRH’s study
technology and against the way LRH trained auditors: LRH never
wanted you to learn the tech verbatim but instead to achieve conceptual
understanding by applying standard study technology. And by the
way, “the new idea”: “Golden Age of Tech” has not produced any
expansion of Scientology as it was promised by Miscavige.

– For the general public Scientology has become a controversial
subject at best – however, it holds truer to say that Scientology
is being viewed rather as a cult, avoided and detested. LRH writes
in KSW Series 1, “Trouble spots occur only where there are “no
results”. Attacks from governments or monopolies occur only where
there are “no results” or “bad results”.

– Miscavige uses LRH’s Ethics and Justice Technology in a
suppressive manner to silence critics. Scientologists who question
rather unquestionable matters within the church are “handled” with
harsh ethics or even justice. Scientologists such as highly trained
OTs and Church executives who are trying to uncover Miscavige
crimes are being falsely declared suppressive persons in order to
force their families and friends to disconnect from them (see below
websites). The Gestapo-like ethics and justice machinery of
Miscavige cull these people’s PC folders for overts revealed in
confidential sessions and publish them on SP Declares; examples
are Mark Rathbun or Mike Rinder. What other church does this? Would
LRH do something like that? NO, he would NOT! In this context
whatever happened to these highly ranked Sea Org members who had
dedicated their lives to fulfill LRH’s mission and worked for
decades within the CofS: Mr. Mark Rathbun (former RTC executive),
Mr. Mike Rinder (former Office of Special affairs executive), Ms.
Amy Scobee (WDC executive); these executives after having
recognized D. Miscavige as an SP have left the church (NOT
Scientology). And most of all: Where is Mr. Heber Jentzsch, one of
our most favorite leaders in Scientology? What has Miscavige done
to him?? Read here:

– An increasing number of credible victims and witnesses report
physical beatings and mental abuse of Sea Org members and
executives conducted by David Miscavige. He even has a prison
called “the hole” where he imprisons staff for weeks, months, or
even years at a time. Mr. Mark Rathbun reports, “Miscavige’s abuse
of Scientology executives and staff became so extreme and
continuous, he resorted to locking all of CMO INT and Exec Strata
into a building and called the prison “the Hole.” RTC, CMO/WDC,
Gold, IAS, CST, OSA Int and ASI executives and staff have regularly
been deposited in the Hole and subjected to Reverse Dianetics,
including physical beatings and severe mental abuse for months or
even years at a time, (Mark Rathbun, 2009).”

– Suppression of OTs: Here I will quote Mr. Mark Rathbun,
“Miscavige has turned the top end of the Bridge into a dead end:
First, he has programmed the Advanced Organizations, including the
FSO, to regularly security check pre-O.T.s, and then use their
confessions to coerce them into paying more money for atonement, a
practice not unlike the Medieval Catholic Church selling
indulgences. Second, he has imposed an unwritten code of behavior
amongst O.T.s. They are regularly made to conform to correct dress,
language, political thought, and even ideas as to how to use their
personal time. Said practice is anathema to the very purpose of
Scientology, which is to make a person more his- or herself, more
insouciant and independent thinking. Third, Miscavige has entered
arbitrary “contribution as a Scientologist” requirements mid-levels
which can be satisfied by making cash “donations.” Fourth,
Miscavige requires pre-OTs to attend his regular propaganda events
(see Factors 22 and 23) and are treated as ethics bait until they
enthusiastically embrace his projected public image. This enforced
acceptance of falsehood makes attainment of OT technically
impossible. Thus, Scientology, as practiced in Miscavige’s orgs, is
auditing one toward conformity, solidity, lies; in other words,
down the tone scale, or, the precise opposite direction to the
intended aim of auditing, (Mark Rathbun, 2009).”
There are many other indicators – bad indicators within the Church
of Miscavige; if you are interested to know the website to visit
is: https://markrathbun.wordpress.com/31-factors/.
Other interesting and revealing resources are:

With the above being declared, I would like you to know, my dear
friend that I no longer can agree with the practices of the current
Church of Scientology and that I hereby resign from this church. On
a positive note: I will remain a Scientologist and apply Ron’s
technology independently from the current Church of Scientology.
Let me also advise you to do your own research and to disconnect
from this suppression as soon as possible. You will experience a
resurgence of power, happiness, and expansion. Additionally, let me
tell you that there are many decent Scientologists in the field
continuing to apply the technology independently of the CofS; among
these people are OTs, highly trained auditors, and ex-sea org
executives. If you are worried for your bridge progress once you
have left the current Church of Scientology: Do NOT worry in any
way. There is help – better help and standard technology outside of
the suppressive Church of Scientology. Knowing the suppressive
methods of this church they will publish an SP Declare for me
sooner or later; at that time you may be forced and intimidated
into disconnecting from me; if you do so I will respect your
decision. However, if you decide to do your own research and free
yourself from this hidden source of suppression I will be very
happy for you, my friend.

“It (Scientology) is not in itself an arbitrary, Fascistic police
force to make sure that we all think right thoughts. It’s a servant
of the mind, a servo-mechanism of the mind. It is not a master of
the mind. Scientology will decline and become useless to man on the
day when it becomes the master of thinking. Don’t think it won’t do
that. It has every capability in it of doing that. Contained in the
knowable, workable portions before your eyes, there are methods of
controlling human beings and thetans which have never before been
dreamed of in this universe. Control mechanisms of such awesome and
solid proportions, that if the remedies were not so much easier to
apply, one would be appalled at the dangerousness to beingness that
exists in Scientology.”
Here only a few of the many People who left the Church of Miscavige
and their stories:
This is true,
Ziba Feulner

207 responses to “Ziba Feulner – Independent OT VIII

  1. Wow Ziba! You are amazing! So nice to meet you.
    Your post says it all…

  2. It is a GREAT thing to see someone “take back their own power” and declare their independence. Congratulations! Those on the sidelines who feel timid (LRH said Mankind was very timid sort) can realize they will only increase their personal power by declaring independence. Every person counts and affects their own sphere of influence. But, Ziba, in answer to your rhetorical question “What sort of Church does that?” The Catholic Church used to force false confessions in order to justify burning a heretic and then acquiring or stealing their property. The only reason they do not do it anymore is because they can’t get away with it. A local Catholic Church on Long Island in fairly recent times had a midnight mass for special people only where they drank the urine of adolescents. It was a black mass in an otherwise respectable church. I mention this and the LDS post I made earlier today because it is important to recognize problems of comparable magnitude in dealing with the history of churches. DM’s actions are very much in keeping with the traditions of churches on this planet albeit not what the public accepts as acceptable behavior. Religions are jammed at the top of the org board. The whole planet is jammed at the top. To the degree those at the top are like DM, they will protect him unless it becomes expedient to do otherwise. Your defection is a vector in that direction. Once again, congratulations!

  3. Luis Garcia

    Dear Ziba,

    Welcome to the true world of free beings practicing standard Scientology!

    I remember you from the ship, I think you completed VIII one week before me. I have some pictures of that time I could send you. Contact me at luis.garcia.otviii@gmail.com

    It’s very nice to see you again, and congratulations on having applied the Tech correctly and having observed the true scene.

  4. Beautifully said, Ziba!

  5. Expelled 4 Life

    All I can say is “Wow” and “Congratulations”.

  6. Another wonderful, intelligent, kind person who has found their way out of Miscavige’s CULT and into the comfort zone of the Independents! Congratulations, I know you will be happy and most of all, able to help all those who have been mistreated, used and abused by this CULT. Thank you for your story of doubt and disappointment which turns full circle into the arms of some of the most wonderful people around…the Independent Scientologists. (I hope one day I have the honor of meeting some of you). I have learned a lot about faith, love,friendship, respect and good ole fashion honesty from all of you. Keep on rocking in the free world!

  7. George White

    A very powerful narrative – thanks for sharing.
    Much loving-kindness,

  8. Wow Ziba, you knocked that one straight out of the park! VWD and Welcome!

  9. Wow, Thank You Very Much Ziba! An awesome write-up and declaration of truth!

  10. Ziba,
    Congratulations on your announcement of independence.
    Welcome to the freedom of Independent Scientology.
    You will experience unimaginable case gain by separating yourself from the degradation that exists within the church of Miscavige.
    Enjoy yourself!
    David St Lawrence

  11. Doc "Smith"

    Great announcement Zeba, It’s great to have another highly trained uptone auditor out here in the freezone. Welcome.
    Mark Elliott

  12. dm’ is cornered now his only solution is to negotiate with the indies..or step aside…!the field in australia are calling the people who leave the orgs “indies”….not “squirrels”…..!they feel that the indies have a right and can understand their motives….even the wog media have sided with the indies…!dm;s biggest threat isnt the indies its cellphones with social media.
    dm you are such a twit…..!

  13. Michael Fairman

    Dear Ziba
    Congratulations and welcome. Miscavige is becoming more suppressive by the day as his insanity grows. The clarity and power of your write-up will most certainly reach others and help them look. Enjoy your freedom — the air is fresh and the sunlight golden.

  14. Ziba, welcome to the land of the Free! Very nicely written. Thank you for standing up for the truth.

  15. SaveTheTech

    Wow Ziba! You said it better than, well, anyone.

    My journey in Scientology began 35+ years ago. I completed New OT V in the same time frame that you completed OT VIII.

    And, I just want you to know, I am going to send the link to your post on Marty’s weblog to all my Scientology friends that are on the “edge”. This will change their world. This is a wake up call.

    Thanks so much Ziba.

  16. Hi Ziba-I have already had the pleasure recently of meeting you (over the phone)-Your coming out letter is as beautiful as you are!

  17. Absolutely wonderful announcement, Ms. Ziba Feulner. I look forward to meeting you one day.
    Very best,
    Just Me

  18. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks! I have sent out this letter to many of my Scientology friends. I found out that three of them were out already and 6 followed me…
    Looking forward to meet you too.

  19. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Tara,
    Hope to meet you one day. It feels great to be free again…

  20. Robert Earle

    I’m with Tom, he said just what I thought. Wow! Welcome!

  21. Ziba Feulner

    Yeah…I have still not figured out though how people including myself could get trapped for so long…

  22. Ziba Feulner

    Yeah, would love to…Will email ya…

  23. Ziba Feulner


  24. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks 😉

  25. Martin Padfield

    Hey Ziba, nice work! Your excellent summary reminded me of the comical futility of DM trying to keep the entire Internet secret from onlines scns. How ironic is it that all the truth they need to free themselves is available yet the cult they are in tells them that to avail themselves of it will kill their one shot at freedom! You gotta laugh really. Well, not actually laugh as such.

  26. Ziba Feulner

    Man!!! It was not easy…Looking back, how ridiculous to having been worried as I was…It feels good to enjoy the freedom…

  27. Martin Padfield

    Woo hoo! Rock and roll! Love it.

  28. Dear Ziba,
    Thank you for writing up precise and accurate scene.
    As a fairly recent OT VIII I know you went through the 6 month security checks while on OT VII over and over again and I will not ask you how much your paid $$$$$ for the Bridge up to OT VIII and specifically how much you paid for those “sec checks.”

    Of great interest is that the Flag Service Org and Freewinds domination does not and cannot hide the truth even with very tight control on OT VIIs and OT VIIIs.

    Lots of good wishes and blue skies,

  29. Sapere Aude

    Thank you for what you wrote and welcome to the world where you are allowed to be you. I also thank you for all you have contributed (if even some of the contribution was used for other purposes). I look forward to the day when we are all more free.

    Another trained auditor and OT VIII, able to see the truth revealed and able to operate pan determined! That concept and ability is something to be feared only by those who profit from the ability to control the thoughts and actions of others. The future you have determined and the way you communicated it will be a beacon for others to follow.

  30. To everyone – Have a great 4th of July and celebrating Independence!

  31. Cured Robot

    Wow, this is going to get forwarded like crazy. Spot on analysis and VWD to you and your courage to standing up to the SP….

  32. Hello Ziba!

    Well done and spot on! I could feel your intention and strength. Wow!

  33. Tony DePhillips

    Most impressive Ziba!!
    I love to see a woman of your stature free herself from the suppression of the mud cabbage. Now you are free to use everything you have learned and gained! Splurge!!
    Welcome to our group. 🙂

  34. Floating Needle

    Girl… I just flat out love your style!

    Thank you for setting the record straight once again!

    You are truly and amazing being and a great auditor!

    And no one can ever take that away from you!

    With love,

    P.S. Congrats to your whole family!

  35. Dear Ziba (means beautiful)

    You name suits you very much. Thank you for speaking out.
    BTW, was Thomas Goldneze your brother in-law? I think he mentioned your name to me back in 2007.
    Good to see you among great people here.

  36. Regarding how people could get trapped for so long (36 years, for me)–My husband still asks that question. It was good intentions, trying to help, thinking it was only a local glitch, believing it must be one’s own errors, all the things the church played on to veer attention away from its own actions. Most of us are just good people, believing our church leaders would not be bad people. We learned….

  37. Wonderful and inspiring. Wishing you the best of luck in your future.

  38. True stats!

  39. one of those who see

    Hi Ziba!
    Just read your entire write up over the phone to a friend without computer access. That will change in the fall and i’m sure he will be writing here too.
    What a strong, free, beautiful woman you are! Love that important LRH quote at the end too!

  40. Welcome Ziba – Excellent announcement. I look forward to meeting you before too long!

  41. WindWalker


    Well done on finding your way through the twisted maze that David Miscavige has constructed out of a highly workable technology. I do not envy anyone still caught in that trap.

    Thank you for speaking up on this blog. It is good to have you as an independent.


    Eric S

  42. Rory Medford

    Hey Ziba,

    Congrats!!!! Its nice to be free from the clutch of corporate SCN, it is a great feeling and welcome to the free world, splurge on it and now u can really express yourself.

  43. SCN_Ethics

    Hi Marty,
    Thanks for another great post! Several of the links, the ones that show on two lines, are broken. It appears that the part of the link that runs onto the second line is missing from the URL.
    Let’s get that corrected, eh? :))

  44. Barney Rubble


    Excellent well put together announcement, ranks up there with Luis Garcia’s. Good Luck to your freedom from the Miscavige madness. I’m sure he is hitting the scotch bottle for losing another OT bullshit ambassador. Hope you have some good indy connections in Germany.

  45. Yvonne Schick

    Ziba, Beautifully written announcement from an obviously beautiful thetan. You are helping more people than you will probably ever realize. Your statement is direct and hard-hitting and reveals the truth. Congratulations. Enjoy your new freedom. You will find it continues to unfold into the future.
    ML, Yvonne

  46. Hello Ziba – a strong statement beautifully delivered. Nice to meet you.

  47. Mark Fisher

    Welcome, welcome, welcome Ziba!!! We are happy you are here!

  48. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks, George.

  49. Tony DePhillips

    Way to go Ziba!!

  50. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Tom. Looking forward to meet you some day…

  51. Ziba Feulner

    More in the pipeline…

  52. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks…In order for the coming Independence Day…

  53. Scott Campbell

    Wow Ziba,

    You’ve just delivered another effective blow to the enemies of freedom. You did what every Scientologist should do. You looked, you differentiated and you acted. Well Done!


  54. Ziba Feulner

    Dave, You know, you are so right…I am feeling very much de-PTSed…

  55. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Mark. Always love to audit and will continue to do so – only without arbitraries…

  56. Scott Campbell

    “Well, not actually laugh as such.”

    Sneer, perhaps?

  57. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Michael! Still can’ t believe they have to re-do all the tech films…Good job, man 😉

  58. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Carol! It is always easier afterwards…

  59. Ziba Feulner

    Oh wow – Go for it and send the letter to as many of your friends as possible. I did the same; one of my PCs left me but six followed into Independence and Freedom…

  60. Scott Campbell

    Did you guys know that there is a song about Ziba?

  61. Ziba Feulner

    Hi Ingrid, can’t wait to see you next time I am in CA…

  62. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks! Looking forward to meet you too some day…

  63. Ziba Feulner

    It is pretty laughable…You are right about it…

  64. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Karen,
    You don’t need to ask, but I did spend lots of $$$ ;). And YES, lots of control. At times one believes to be a mere robot controlled by an outer source…

  65. The music is beautiful like Ziba!

  66. Ziba Feulner

    Sapere, I am glad for Marty’s blog and many other eye-opening websites and all of their valuable insight…Without them I still would be lost…

  67. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks CR – lots of help out there, only had to reach out…

  68. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Mat.

  69. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Tony! What took me so long??? Not sure, but better late than never 😉

  70. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks FN! My family is having a ball. My husband is out too of course and our six month young baby boy…

  71. Ziba Feulner

    Amy, your work was inspiring…Glad I have spent time to follow your interviews! Thanks!

  72. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks OOTWS! Can’t wait to meet you and your friend one day 😉

  73. Theo Sismanides

    Ziba you are HOT OFF THE PRESS NEWS!!! Yes, woman! Thank You, thank You SO SO SO MUCH for STANDING OUT!!!

    You are soooo good! I love you really because you just nailed it in your write up, an OT VIII, Class V graduate trained, who just observes what is there to observe and says it AS it IS !!!

    Thank you so much lady!!

  74. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Truth! Wished I knew who you are. Yes, Thomas Goldenitz is my X brother-in law. I bet you he is not happy that I am out. Hope he will see the truth some day…He is a great guy…

  75. Ziba Feulner

    You too, GH

  76. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Eric. So glad to be here…

  77. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Rory. Looking forward to do so – finally…

  78. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Barney. I live in Denver, Co now. But I still have many friends in Germany, some of whom followed out of the implant recently…

  79. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Yvonne. I am looking forward to help other find the way out of the DM trap…

  80. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks duty free

  81. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks you Mark – happy to have found new friends…

  82. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Scott! I am sure there are many others just on their way out…

  83. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Lynne. Can’t wait to meet you one day…

  84. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Theo, Thanks! All those great people who marked the way made it easier for me to get out…I am sure many more will follow…

  85. Ziba Feulner

    We did believe in the good…Still do. Got fooled for too long though…

  86. Ziba Feulner

    Are you from Australia? I met some great people there when I was in Sydney last. Lost touch. Would love to send them my announcement.

  87. Congrats, Ziba. VVWD!
    enjoy your new freedom, and your beautiful baby. 🙂

  88. question with boldness


    Thank you for having such courage! You are at the top of the Bridge, trained and an FSM and coming out in the light. I am sure that you will guide many others to the light with your very strong letter. Enjoy your freedom in beautiful Colorado. I look forward to hearing more from you! !!!

  89. Ziba,
    Wow! THAT was potent – and so full of ARC!
    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have never seen a more on point reference for the current situation than the PDC 20 citation. You have made waves.

  90. Hi Ziba…

    Whising you the best of the best in this new stage of the game.

    Your write up IS a breaking point for the current CofS.

    Now is overwhelming for all OSA and RTC staff.

    So many OT VIII´s wrong, out-ethics and enemies?
    Is that bad the job we are donig? (Might they ask to themselves)

    What would the public think as they see so many people running the entire bridge and then leaving for good?

    No matter what OSA trolls want us to believe. People are going out in droves. Openly and silently.
    This happens when you don´t deliver what you promise in the firt place!
    Superior Policy.

  91. redneck Janette from Detriot

    Ziba…. You are a wonderful person and your write up is so thorough!! Welcome to freedom outside the church!

  92. Sapere Aude

    A song I believe that fits how you feel.

  93. This is great and domino effect is spreading…

  94. Ziba, welcome to the zone where people are reaching their potentials for real.- simple becouse of no suppression, but all the LRC under the belt – as you so well described
    Hellen says Hi too – where to you currently live?

  95. Floating Needle


    It totally depicts Ziba’s smooth style and effervescence towards life.

  96. Ziba,
    As a fellow European (Danish, having lived in the US for the last 24 years) I want to point out to everyone following this blog: there is no us versus them, no European versus American, no Australian versus American, no our culture is better than your culture. There is only right versus wrong. We, who are on the side of human rights, using the benefits within the technology of Scientology to better conditions for people and mankind, are up against the ones who want to dominate and suppress other people for the simple reason that they’re evil. And how unbelievably sad that a lot of very good, well-intentioned people are caught in the spin of those evil-doers = David Mascavige and his followers and their ilk. Welcome here, Ziba. Looking forward to your future posts furthermore giving your perspectives.

  97. That’s so wonderful; 6 additional Indies at first go! looks like they love your auditing more than Davey’s Hell. For sure if you TR3 the letter you’ll get another 6. You’re a powerhouse, Ziba!

  98. I am so impressed with your announcement I don’t know what to do first! 🙂

    Beautifully written with such power and certainty. I love it! Welcome to the Indes!


  99. You didn’t take long at all; I think you’re a trend setter. There’s 1000’s of VII and VIII controlled robots that won’t be able to shake loose for quite some time. The trap for you guys is so much more difficult to escape than on lower levels. But take hearth; the group that’s breaking the spell is growing faster and becomming more effective than ever thanks to people like you.

  100. Reading this, one of the first thing I do this morning, is extra good. Thank you Ziba!

  101. Ziba

    Well done on an excellently written letter:

    No HE&R

    That is the sort of comm that has a chance of reaching those who are still supporting DM..

    The opposite, calling those who are still supporting DM “names,” does not get them to cognite. Per the Service Fac Tech, it only makes them hold on stronger.

    Actually, invalidating those who are still in, running them down, belittling them, etc. is DM Tech (!).

    Giving them the DATA, in an acceptable manner, as you did and as Luis Garcia did, has the greatest chance of getting a product: the erosion of DM’s support.

    That support is the ONLY reason he has power, as, legally, no one can own a non-profit, and he only has one vote, on one board, of one of three corporations (CST, RTC, and CSI),

    The target is therefor to win over those supporting DM. Since an SP has no real power, without support, they fall. Ziba’s letter is a great contribution in that direction.


  102. Brian Culkin

    That was amazing. Everything about it. So much integrity.

    Also- the light in your eyes speaks volumes without any words.

    That was was a pleasure to read.

  103. Have you actually tried clicking on those links?
    All those links are working fine for me, and have been from the start.

    That they are not “live blue” all the way through doesn’t seem to matter….

  104. Defender of Theta


    Great to read your letter!

    It is great to have a real Scientologist step forward. I don’t know what your plans are, but trained auditors are needed. More Theta=more success.


  105. Defender of Theta


    You did it right. You got the comm to them first, before you allowed DM to try to shut down your comm lines, I assume.


  106. Impartial English Girl

    Ziba – such a brilliant post from an intelligent and vibrant woman! Welcome to the non-DM-sphere! I wish you every success for a long and VERY happy future.
    IEG xx

  107. Thanks, it is always a action to be free…

  108. gern gaschoen

    Was it really *so* long, though? After all, we have spent an eternity trying to get to this point, and are we not, still, here and now, alive? In present time.

    We all have a road to take towards the freedoms available.. I’m personally, extremely grateful to LRH for being there and warning us against the likes of DM, and giving us the tools we needed to survive on that road. I totally get that LRH was there for us and expected these troubles.

    You can sit down, right now, read some LRH, and sort this out. I can’t do anything like that with anything DM has produced.

  109. scilonschools

    Great Write Up Ziba!!

    The open freeflow of knowledge always contains kernals that others never even considered.
    Funny what may be obvious to one is earthshaking to another and vice versa.
    Sharing seems to make the knowledge base grow exponetially, and helps clear out all that false data!!
    Thyank you again and i look forward to seeing your future comments on this blog.

  110. Rita Wagner

    A very warm welcome, dear Ziba! Thank you so much for your great write up!!

  111. Antonio Amodeo alias Orlando Furioso

    Ciao Ziba.
    Im a young italian indipendent from just last week
    Ziba may you can remember of me in Dusseldorf,i was there for a work with a big company of Donato Paradiso and Jeff Putney two “big” scientologist.
    I will there with you with Maurizio Serafini,remember??
    I think is not a mistake for me but you can confirm plaese??
    Many many congratulations for your decision that can make the difference also for the italians.

  112. Personally, I think one cannot underestimate the importance of these personal letters.

    A (Co$) Scientologists’ state of mind is like a rock. A negative news article or Anon protest is akin to try and hammer the rock. Sometimes it will shatter, but oftentimes, it will remain firmly intact.

    These letters, by contrast, is the water which seeps into the rock. Give it a few more sub-zero nights, Miscavige style, and sure enough, someday your letter will cause the rock to crack.

    Well done!

  113. Ziba,

    Thank you sooooo much for having the courage to stand up and speak out! As an OT8 and a very trained auditor you have altitude with many still in. I feel that regardless if we like it or not, we owe it to our friends still in to speak the truth. It is a matter of caring for others, what they are going through and what they might go through in the future.
    You have stated your position very well. You have covered many major points. I’m sure your write up will help many people sort out the truth for themselves. We are forever grateful for your paticipation here! ml, Laura and Mike Wilson

  114. simonbolivar

    HGi Ziba, very well done, at the moment I am translating Amy Scobee’s bokk into Italian, just before I did the same with “Blown for good”, I hope many more italians will follow your path of freedom. Glad you are out of the Cult.

    To everybody from US, have a wonderful 4th of July.

  115. Giovanna Ongaro

    Very well done, I m very glad because you are now free from this hide SP.
    ARC Giovanna from Italy Independet

  116. Hi Zeba;
    The first sentence in your, “I’m mad as hell and I ain’t going to take this suppression any more” statement was a home run!!!

    “I am a Scientologist, and I know that LRH’s technology works 100%
    if applied correctly.”

    This is the cognition the present time Kool-Aid drinker needs to have or he will continue his downward spiral and end up in a squirrel cage.

    Webester’s New World Dictionary Definition for squirrel cage: “a cage for a squirrel, hamster, etc. containing a drum that revolves when the animal runs inside it. Often used figuratively of an existence, repetitive task, etc that seems endless and without purpose.”

    I don’t know where the Independent Scientologist game is in terms of innings. Don’t know the current score. But I do know this. A few more home run statements by OT8’s with your training level and we will win this game for all thetans who want to apply Scientology technology correctly.

    Welcome Slugger!!!

  117. martyrathbun09

    Ciao Anotonio. Welcome.

  118. Beautiful letter, thank you Ziba! Very inspiring.

  119. Fabulous write up.

    I’m so delighted to see a RECENT OT VIII untangle herself from the treacherous web of corporate scientology.

    Whenever I might mention that I too am OT VIII to someone still trapped inside – the first question is WHEN did I do OT VIII (shortly after the first maiden voyage) and then, they nod saying — oh — you never did the basics? You never did golden age?

    And with that – everything I might say is LOST to their totally addled brain.

    But – what can they possibly say to you? Trained as well. And obviously someone who somehow endured those tortures of golden age etc and STILL was able to SEE the truth. Corporate scientology is a death trap.

    Happy to see you out. What a wonderful momma your little one has!

    He’s a lucky guy.


  120. Sorry, I stand corrected. I moused over them and saw only the partial link in my toolbar, so jumped to that conclusion.

  121. Thanks Marty
    greetings from Italy

  122. I am sure Thomas knows the truth. He certainly received a lot of eye-opening e-mails from me.
    If you give me your e-mail address or get mine from Marty, I can be in comm with you.

  123. Welcome Ziba!!! 😀

  124. Summer Wind

    Congratulations – and what I like best was the quote from the PDC’s. That is exactly what is going on in the church at this time and it’s what I said earlier… it’s become a danger to those who can’t leave because they are slaves now to “the tech” or to some imagined leader. We are the lucky ones!

  125. Doug Parent

    Thank you Ziba for your announcement, contribution and by your stellar example. Your mentioning the subject of PTSness is so appropriate!
    For whats it’s worth, over the past few years since leaving (the Fundamentalist Radical Regime formerly known as The Church of Scientology) I have only been able to make sense out of what has happened by raising my own confront of evil. I can see no other other reason why the way out of the trap would be intentionally blocked for so many others. LRH designed a system that would make spiritual gain and freedom from MEST possible. Only a suppressive insane being would seek to undo or impede that. All of Miscaviges other crimes pale in comparison.

    Training and auditing are widely available for those who wish to go free. The Independent Scientology movement is thriving and there are NO STOPS and there is no scarcity. All you have to do is ask for help, the good people here will practically fall over themselves to assist you.

    Miscavige and the Golden Age of Stop has been bypassed.


  126. George White

    Sister windhorse,
    Excellent point. I entered in 1973. Out in 1989. Thirty eight years of old/new, revised/expanded etc. finally coming to an end . After all, there is just truth;
    the labels don’t matter.

  127. freespirit

    Welcome Ziba!!! You are beautiful and smart! Your story has GREAT impact and will help other OTs who are going through the DM “Wall of CRAP” to come out the other end as you have with a big “That’s it!” Wishing you happier, brighter and freer days!

  128. Welcome to freedom Ziba! You are setting a great example and full set of links/references to make it easier for others to follow the road out!

  129. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Erwin – more in the works… 😉

  130. Ziba Feulner

    Yupp, nice and sneaky…. 😉

  131. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Martin

  132. Ziba Feulner

    Dave, it is happening – very cool analogy…

  133. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Chris…Looking forward to meet you some day…

  134. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Bozz! My baby is sooo keyed out since I am out…He feels mom’s de-PTSing ;))

  135. Ziba Feulner

    In retrospect, I am not sure why I felt I needed the courage…It is so much easier now. Was only trapped within shadows, nothing else…

  136. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Leonore. ARC and subsequently Understanding IS the universal solvent. Indies understand and by that they will solve DMs suppression sooner or later…

  137. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Rob,
    I am feeling great empathy with staff and sea org members who believe they are working for spiritual freedom; however, they are blinded…

  138. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Janette. I am meeting many wonderful people among independents…Should have done this way earlier…

  139. Ziba Feulner

    I am telling you, Enccas…

  140. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Helmut. Your explanations of the “Ideal Org” BS was a great eye opener. I have incorporated it within my letter. This letter went to a great deal of Scientologists. Hope many of them had the courage to read it…Please say hi back to Hellen. Can’t wait to meet some day…

  141. Ziba Feulner

    Bodil, I agree! Your name is very familiar…I may have met you in AOSH Eu??

  142. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Gandiguy,
    It was time – Hope to be able to wake up some more poor souls trapped within the MATRIX…

  143. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Tunedal 😉

  144. THIS

    Applying the Viewpoint PL: Think back to before we were denouncing DM. What comm would have had some chance of reaching us?

    In most cases, calling us names would have had almost no effect, except to drive us to justify our behavior. We know that justification LOCKS IN behavior. So, name calling produces the opposite product of what we are looking for!

    The time, place, form, and event, with the “full set of links/references” that Sinar references, might have at least started the ball rolling, if only a tiny bit.

    Martin Luther King, Jr. was jailed. Members of his group were attacked by dogs, beaten, and some were murdered. He did not name call.

    He followed the principles in What is Greatness, and

    strived to remain in PAN DETERMINISM.

    And won.


  145. Luis Garcia

    Hi Antonio. I read your declaration. OUTSTANDING!


  146. WindWalker

    Antonio Amodeo

    Ciao Antonio.
    Well done on declaring your Independence.
    I hope things work out well with your family. Our hearts are with you.
    Stay strong my friend.

    Eric S/ Camminatore del Vento

  147. What a delight to see all these NEW names on our blog! I’ll bet we have more new names to our blog than all the CO$ has to their CF. Talk about expansion!

  148. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks James,

    I do believe that good people react better when dealt with understanding. A Suppressive on the other hand will not… 😉

  149. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Brian…

  150. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks DofTh.! Looking forward to audit others without sideline BS…

  151. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks IEG ;); love your name…

  152. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks, Sherb. Great to be here…

  153. Ziba Feulner

    Hey thanks, Scilonschools. My letter is summarizing what others have said and written before. I am glad for other free thinkers as Marty, Mrs. Amy S. and many others…

  154. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Rita!

  155. Ziba Feulner

    Ciao Bello!!! And Welcome, yourself!!! YES that’s me! OMG, so good to see you here. Can’t believe it…Here is my email if you would like to write and we’ll catch up: zibafeulner@hotmail.com or zf@hushmail.com. I am also on FB. Talk to you later…

  156. Ziba Feulner

    Hi Laura and Mike, thank you guys so much. Was great reading about you on this blog and thanks for paving the road for others…

  157. Ziba Feulner

    Wow – this is great. I love Italy; I lived there for a while…Viva bella Italia Indies!

  158. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Giovanna – you are absolutely right!

  159. Ziba Feulner

    Hell yeah!!! :). Let me tell ya…I was drinking that Kool-Aid for a while and it was not good…kind a’ rotten ;))

  160. Ziba Feulner

    Thank YOU Lurr

  161. Ziba Feulner

    Thank you so much for your awesome Ack! The problem is that one turns blinder the longer one sits…you know what I mean??

  162. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Sam! Nice have great new friends like you all!!!

  163. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks SW. That quote is a good a one, for sure – makes a lot of sense.

  164. Ziba Feulner

    Right on, Dough! This aspect of DM stopping my dear ones from going up the bridge was one of the major factors for me to stop and think: WTF???

  165. Ziba Feulner

    Hey thank you so much FS. Gosh, “Wall of CRAP” describes it very well 😉

  166. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Sinar! Hope to see them come out in doves!!!

  167. Ziba Feulner

    Very true Gern Geschoen! Bist Du Oesterreicher, Schweizer oder Deutsch? 😉

  168. Hi Ziba,
    Beautiful write-up. Thanks for adding more truth to the ever growing documentation of “what’s really going on and why.”

    Les Warren

  169. Michael Fairman

    Great Jack!
    You just sent another one outta the park.

  170. Dear Ziba,
    We were at the same time doing otIII at st hill in the year 2000, and I remember you well. I think you completed just before me. I always wondered how you did it so easily as I had such a hard time doing it.
    Anyway, this was one of the best time of my life as well as when I went back to do OTV in 2002. I had the chance having an old timer auditor who got trained long before the golden age of tech and I was flying on OTV.
    Things went bad when I went to Flag in 2004. As you said, harsh ethics and being said “not clear”.
    After spending two intensives with their new golden age of tech auditors and going nowhere on a C/S 53 they finally gave me a veteran auditor and the matter was resolved in one session. So this is really about auditor presence and communication.
    However I did not return to Flag since then and never started OTVII. I wondered why..
    Reading this blog gave me answers.
    My wife who is a CCRD/FPRD/GradV auditor pre GAT and who audited thousand of hours was told by the MAA, if you do not contribute, your not going OT. That is the way you are rewarded in this church.
    Anyway at that time you were already an outstanding woman. Glad you freed yourself out of this trap.

  171. Hi Ziba,
    Its great that you are out 🙂
    I left and resigned from the CofS in 1982 when I saw the shades of night descending.
    After 1982 Scientology became very different. When LRH was on the lines it was much saner. But he had so many difficulties with attacks.
    I remember the first Scientologists I met back in 1971 – open friendly people.
    I started delivering Scientology back in 1984 near London in England and moved to Austria in 1998 as I found it a better, safer environment.
    I love to recreate the environment I experienced back then when I first became involved in Scientology and I think that we can do it for all the tortured souls who suffered the abuse of DM and his minions.
    Marty is doing a great job here. We could do with more good people here in Europe if you ever choose to wander back. The Independent Field in EU is unfortunately predominantly full of weird squirels at this time.

  172. Ziba, great write up! There are more VIIIs out here–in various stages of disentangling themselves from the web of the Radical CofM… Shoring up their businesses so that OSA can’t wreck them financially, waking up their loved ones so as not to have to disconnect, but instead, bring them along, and pointing out the obvious to any who will listen. Though this is probably not the most popular strategy on this blog…it is what it is. Each person gets to make his own choices. I admire your decision to stand and be counted. Your action makes it easier for the next ones.

  173. Exactly! Thank you James.

  174. Ziba Glad to see you out

    And if you want to get your money back from the IAS

    “In 2006, on 9 October, Bank van de Nederlandse Antillen (gambling bank where IAS has money) tries to distance itself from “terrorist” money flap and revokes First Curacao International Bank’s banking license. This was important because it shows the rules that would apply to the IAS trust as well, which are:

  175. What a wonderful thing to read as I am out of the USA and catching up. That is two OTVIII’s in the last few weeks now.

    The man in the bunker must be feeling the rumble of theta outside. You know, that certain sound as another OT 8 leaves the area because they started using Scientology in the direction of FREEING THEMSEVES??

    Many thanks to DM for making the expansion of REAL Scientology possible.

    I am so eager to see who is next… In the meantime, I predict an increase in peddle-boat camera men in the canal in back of Marty’s house. LOL.


  176. Robert Earle

    It’s possible I may know some of your friends who trained with me at ITO in 88-89.. I’ve lost contact with them. You can reach me at robertearle at rushmore dot comm.

  177. These sec checks seem to be about “checks”, but they are actually about “cheques” 😮

  178. Billy Jack

    “An increasing number of credible victims and witnesses report
    physical beatings” (quoted from above) To DM: Meet me in any boxing gym anywhere and anytime and bring plenty of cameras to get it on youtube. Leave your putrid goons in your self-created hell.
    I am old enough to be your father and will show you 100X what you have done to others, you coward. You have no excuse. Try to find some self-respect and some dignity and step down from your tyranny. Shame on you. Were you Hitler in your most immediated past life?

  179. Hello Ziba,

    I remember you from that ever-shrinking German org. I recall that you used to have your own way. When being on staff became unbearable you became a field auditor, auditing people even in exotic far-away places !

    You have achieved a lot on the bridge – despite all those arbitraries and dramatisations in that cult. That requires some kind of power for sure.

    I am very happy that you have escaped the lies and suppression and have recovered your truth, integrity and freedom. I am convinced that you are going to bring these precious gifts – truth, integrity and freedom – to as many beings as you can get to.

    And that’s a win for you, for me and for everyone 🙂

    All the best

  180. SaveTheTech

    I agree 100% with everything you said, but especially with this rather poetic statement about Ziba’s post on Marty’s weblog:

    “Each person gets to make his own choices. I admire your decision to stand and be counted. Your action makes it easier for the next ones.”

    Very nice and very true.

  181. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Les! Please say hi to Anita.

  182. Ziba Feulner

    Wow – you are so right. I believe, I just the concept on who you are ;). My email is zf@hushmail.com if you would like to contact me. All the best to you and your wife. I think I met her briefly…

  183. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Ralph. Good to hear from you. YES Marty is a beacon of light for many…Here is my email if you want to write to me: zf@hushmail.com. I am looking for good auditors in EU to send some of my friends to…

  184. Ziba Feulner

    Hey Magnolia. I am so glad to hear this. The more the merrier ;). My teenage son disconnected from me. It broke my heart but no battles are won without losses. Without people willing to take a loss we still would be in the middle ages or under a fascist dictatorship in our society… I waited three years to prepare so that my son won’t do what he did but he still did. I am just hoping that he will wake up one day and return to me…

  185. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks CD. I still have to get over the brainwash that you NEVER EVER ask your money back form the CofS (Cof$)…One step at the time… ;). I mean I will be SP declared in the near future – then as an SP I may feel better asking for my money back 😉 😉 ;)…

  186. Ziba Feulner

    Apollo, how ridiculous are those peddle-boats anyway…I mean common, don’t they have anything BETTER to do??

  187. Ziba Feulner

    Hey BJ,
    You are absolutely right, someone needs some smacking over the knee…

  188. Ziba, I lost years in a cloud of PTS’ness to this thing, unable to really live or be myself. I always hated that word “cult”, but now that I’m out and not hiding I can see that it is a cult. Scientology is not a cult and I don’t believe LRH ever set up a cult, but the Church has become a totalitarian, ideologically extremist cult. After observing the behavior of long time friends and members of this “Church” acting against me after I came out I am of the opinion that The Church has become dangerous. The way peoples minds are warped and controlled is a bit scary.

  189. Francesco & Luana Minelli

    Ciao Ziba, congrats for your beautiful declaration of indipendence from the Cof$. The King of Squirrel Dave NANOTRON Minchiavige have lost a VIP like you ….. See you soon in Italy !
    Francesco & Luana Minelli .
    P.S. : Gavino Idda , salutame assorrata !

  190. Yes Ziba you are spot on. Wish you good luck.

  191. Good and valid points. Time is relative. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. What you get back, however, is eternity. It is everyone’s choice what they do with it.

  192. Ralph – I have met people from the EU “Freezone” who got into Scn via that route. I have no idea about what technical malfeasance that might or might not be either guilty of or suffering from. I did not get into that with them as our discussions were not about Scn. They were basically nice people who were not prone to “being weird.” It might not be as bad as it seems. Still a residue of Captain Bill and his Space Commander stuff. Opening the lines of communication can be tricky but it might accomplish something. Not everyone in the EU Freezone was a Capt Billite either. Before Marty’s independent movement, any independent was categorized into the Freezone. I referred someone to your website because they were having trouble getting cans to register on an emeter. Turns out they are coated with some substance that needs to be cleaned off. Tin cans are not what they used to be in America.

  193. gern gaschoen

    Nirgends! Gern Geschoen ist ein anagram .. 🙂

  194. Very Well Done Ziba,
    I knew you a few years ago in Rimini when you were with Maurizio,my old friend. I remember you as a wonderful person, sweet and with so much arc. I am very happy to find you here, between Indy and I hope to meet you again. Again congratulations for your choice. I wish you success for your future.
    Greetings Marty and all USA Indipendents


  195. Thanks very much my friend:-)
    I just reply to you on indipendologo.

  196. Hi Metaqual,
    Back in 1983 we were calling ourselves Independent Scientologists. Until the late 1990 the term “Freezone” was used purely for Bill’s following.
    In the early days of the net confusions arose and the term “Freezone” became over generalized. Most Independents went along with it.
    After the UK TV program about Bill’s Freezone I started to differentiate the terminology again and moved back to the term Indepent Scientology.

  197. Ziba Feulner

    Thanks Spartacus! Lets get in touch with Maurizio. He was declared in 05. Do you have his contact info?

  198. Hi Ziba,
    Great way to come out to the independent field. Thank you for standing up!
    That is what it takes.
    Can you tell me a bit more about the recent German Indies? Having worked as an SO member in Munich org for 10 years I am of course curious to know who is ‘with us now’.
    You can email me at alexanderthegreata@yahoo.com.
    Best, Greta

  199. Ziba Feulner

    I have to agree with you Erwin. The higher one is on the Bridge the more robotic one becomes – unless one steps back for a while and just looks at the obvious…I have sent my letter to many OT8 in hopes to reach them; I got some nasty responses for the most part ;). Interestingly enough – not so much from people on the lower Bridge…How contradicting and sad: We pursued this way to become FREE…

  200. Ziba Feulner

    I agree with you Chris! I hated the word Cult as well; but the CofS is nothing BUT a cult currently…

  201. Hallo Ziba,
    I’ve found Maurizio in FB and request his friendship. Not yet his reply about this. When notice I inform you.
    In reply to your question about we’d known. That’s happened one evening by the Mission of Rimini. You came there with Maurizio and we spoke for a few minutes about ourselves and so on. I was the supervisor and I’d must go into the classroom.
    I have always remembered you.
    Much Love

  202. Hitler was overt. DM seems more to match the character of Göbbels:

  203. Very sad but true. However, it could be expected as lower levels still receive something faintly resembling Scientology (that’s why the fight is at higher levels). The engineered trap starts at street/mission level and uses actual Scientology; give them some wins so that the Church (and Davey boy) becomes OL to the prospect robot. This makes him long for more Church services and he’ll reject opinions, facts and red herrings indicating otherwise as he has been indoctrinated he’ll pay heavily if he even thinks about it.

    Of course the implant is done with heavy ethics, splitting headaches, intense labour, (self)degrading, forced propitiation to the group, (self)invalidation, constant worry, forced criminal behaviour, family break ups, forced treason on friends, enforced W/H’s of nothing, black mail, financial bleeding, sleep and sex deprivation, fear tactics and all other means of overwhelm to lay in the Davey doctrine.

    The higher up (you think) you go, the heavier the implant and thought control. You can’t even think you’re not making progress or that something is wrong as that’ll cost you dearly or gets you declared and all would be lost forever. Someone on the brink of collapse can’t admit having been wrong as that means the end. Thus he’ll ser fac on the Church being right (= the nasty responses you got) and thus we have overwhelmed III’s, V’s that can’t go exterior, VII’s that commit suicide and VIII’s that die of cancer.

    Talking to them is hard and should be done on a gradient that’s real to them, not unlike finding their ruin.

  204. This post is enough to convince me to actually decide to leave the COS. I am in “good” standing with the Church and have tried to keep moving up the bridge. Somehow though I am finding I am stopped from doing so. I have arrived at Flag several times for services and simply end up in ethics doing lower conditions for things that have been handled many times over. The last auditing I had (which was a case cracking auditing) I was told to leave by one MAA for making an origination at the D of P that was supposedly alarming to them.
    I was told to redo my objectives a couple of years ago at a lower org, which I faithfully did. Upon my wanting to return to Flag I was then told that the redo was to be redone! I would have to spend $5000 to purchase the ACC’s and listen to over 100 hours of tapes where LRH covered the objectives to fully gain the wins on them. I was also told that once I knew what the EP’s were (from the tapes) then my cognitions would come faster!!!

    So I decided to route on, I paid again for my TR’s at Flag (this is the third time) but decided that there was no way I was going to buy the lectures.

    To route on I had to go again through the routing into the org routing form and ended up again doing an A – J check. In the interview the MAA went over my entire ethics folder (by the way I was pre approved for service, whatever that meant). In my interview it came up that I had watched the Jason Berghe interview. I knew Jason from CC Int so it was shocking to me.

    Anyhow now I was assigned lowers. As I started to work through my conditions I was regged again and again. Out of a 12 hour day trying to actually get on course I was regged for 11 of them. While doing the conditions I cognited that this was going to be a PR exercise on my part. I didn’t agree with the assignment and it started to go against my integrity. I was thinking, why am I doing lowers to the church who have given me the wrong course 3 times! I started to look at all the lowers I had be arbitrarily assigned over the years. None on my free will. I felt sick to my stomach. I knew that I couldn’t do a condition that I didn’t agree with, besides they were the ones calling me to get me back on course.
    I have suffered much abuse in the 17 years I have been around the Church. I was in the SO and degraded beyond anything that I have ever experienced. Thats reverse Dianetics. To me now its an engram to do services or be in an Org. I have not disconnected from any org, no one knows my intentions to leave. However I read this blog and see people I know and respect popping up and I cannot deny the truths that they tell. I experienced them for myself.
    Thanks Marty for the blog. I have a lot I could share and would love to chat with you via email. I think I met you briefly while I was in the SO. You won’t remember me but you have my respect and admiration for what you are doing.

  205. Pingback: Proč se církev bojí internetu | independent beings

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