Casablanca Redux by Michael Fairman

The day after last year’s Thanksgiving, I sojourned to Ingleside-On-The-Bay and thus crossed my personal “Rubicon”. In an odd twist of history and geography that led to Casablanca. The four days I spent with Marty and Monique began an adventure with the truth. Not only did Scientology work for me as it hadn’t for years in the church, but the time I spent with the “Kingpin” and his beautiful wife gave the lie to the torrent of crap about these two beautiful souls that was pouring from the mouths of those representing Miscavige and his sorry excuse for a religion.

As I say the Rubicon was crossed, because from then on my family and I were subjected to the various forms of garbage thrown at us by those who pride themselves on being spiritually enlightened. It also began a year of attempting to see through layer after filthy layer of what has been going on within corporate Scientology. With each revelation compounding the insanity, I decided to throw everything overboard. I was interested only in having Miscavige’s abuses come to light and acted upon. Screw everything else. Although my wife Joy had been helped by seeing Ingrid Smith, a field auditor, I, despite my earlier wins with Marty, was no longer interested — not in Solo NOTS, or being audited, or taking a course, or even reading a book; and I could no longer swallow the idea that Scientology was the only path and LRH the only and true pathfinder. I found that attitude arrogant and self defeating no matter from where it came.

But life has the continuing and annoying habit of asking us to confront it. So it was for our family of three. There was a barrage of “stuff” coming at us and we were not making great headway against it,  We had only Ingrid close by to turn to, so my daughter and I went back to her. During an amazing communication with us, Ingrid  mentioned how much fun it was for her to be solo auditing. I told her I never wanted to look an e-meter in the face again because of what a drudge it had become. She described the joy and freedom with which she audited, the ease with which things were handled, and the picture she painted was infectious. I also recalled the natural ease with which Marty had audited me. So then and there I decided on one more go-around with “the Tech” and made plans for a trip to Texas.

I left the day after Thanksgiving, exactly one year after my last visit. The symmetry appealed to me, but this time I would spend six days. I had booked my flight late in October, but by the time Thanksgiving week rolled around, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go. But I remembered the sparkling time I’d had with Marty and Mosey, so carrying a wrapped drumstick and wing from the day before, I boarded my plane.

Marty met me at the airport as he did the Friday a year ago, and from that moment I knew things were going to be good. Aside from a couple of adventures we had shared personally during the year, his blog had kept us in continual communication. The friend I had made twelve months ago was now an old friend. I saw again that the drivel  Miscavige, his hired boobies, and the robotic sheeple spouted about Marty’s relationship with those who have left the church was truly absurd. No one kisses his feet, shines his shoes or falls before him on bended knee. He wouldn’t have it. While I was there we watched the film, “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. He loved the leading character of Lizbeth. Why? Because she didn’t take any shit, was true to herself, had integrity, would fight for what she believed in, and was intelligent without shoving it in everyone’s face. That’s how he hopes everyone would be, and that’s what he expects of himself.

As before, we had conversations about a multitude of subjects, always returning to the theme of freedom – spiritual, personal and political, and the paths one can take to get there. He introduced me to Victor Frankl and Frederick Douglass, both of whom I read having major cognitions. The ease with which we had our conversations were continued into the auditing room, where day after day I uncovered the lies which I had constructed long ago to rob me of parts of myself. And I came to a number of realizations. Those who disparage Hubbard’s technology, for whatever reason, no longer have any significance for me. It is what it is for them and it is what it is for me. Those who disparage Marty are also of no significance to me. I know who he is both in and out of the auditing room. And the same is true regarding the works of L. Ron Hubbard. I can accept whatever moves me forward and reject the rest.

There is sunshine at Casablanca. The star that rides the sky from east to west every day;  the sunshine of welcome that Mosey bathes you with when you are in her company; the sunshine of truth that Marty is continually searching for no matter where he finds it. Juxtapose this against the dark insanity that is corporate Scientology and I saw that it was also no longer significant.

I had a wondrous six days. In Monique I once again found a gracious, kind, intelligent and compassionate being. Thanks to Marty, who shares those qualities, I again found solo auditing and more of myself. I also found something even more valuable — what it means to walk the “middle path”. I left Casablanca with a renewed energy and purpose, a heightened love and respect for these two unique people, and the knowledge and confidence that our family of three can take on whatever “stuff” life decides to hurl at us.

– Michael

More On Michael:

Michael’s Declaration of Independence

Michael Fairman – A Resurrection Story

Michael in action


186 responses to “Casablanca Redux by Michael Fairman

  1. Michael — Wonderful message for all to read. You manage to put into words so many of the thoughts that I have. Thanks for being there and communicating. Though we have spent little physical time together, I consider you a close and valued friend. You are my idea of a REAL Scientologist — a man of integrity and compassion who can think for himself — and an artist to boot!.

  2. Thanks Michael,

    Sounds like you are describing the quest toward freedom. Freedom to take or leave whatever data/philosophy you wish. Freedom to have the friends you know are actually worthy of the title. Freedom to be yourself, despite all the crap this earth can dish out.

    Right now I’m no longer interested in the tech but that may change as I continue to put more time between myself and Corporate Cultology.

    And afterall, isn’t that DM’s goal? To make people want to get away from the workable tech? To make them want to distance themselves from the good parts LRH had to offer?

    Flourish and Prosper!

  3. Michael, I’m so happy for you!

  4. Such a poetic expression of perspective! Thank you so much for this Michael.

    “I can accept whatever moves me forward and reject the rest.”

    What a wonderful gift of freedom to bestow on yourself.


  5. Michael, thank you for your write-up. You are a true artist, as seen in your command of penmanship.

    I am glad to know that you walk the path of a Scientologist and I had a cognition when you said that “Those who disparage Hubbard’s technology, for whatever reason, no longer have any significance for me. It is what it is for them and it is what it is for me”. As soon as I read that, my own angst vaporized and I no longer care about that.

    Thanks for being there Michael and I am proud to be a fellow Indie along side you.

    ML Tom

  6. Michael,

    Thank you for being so honest.


  7. John Fennessey

    Michael, after only one year you have managed to leave the forest and are in open fields. Every year it will be better , and you will be stronger, more free, more aware. It gets better.
    An Independent scientologists who is trained , free of the organization and has a support network of practicing scientologists is actually quite a potential force for good in this world.
    Those who oppose you are a sorry, pitiful and manipulated lot. You have the admiration and respect of free and honest men and women, given to you because you deserve it, no strings, no quid pro quo. You have from us and others what can only be given, never forced. Take a win.

  8. Wonderful article Michael.

    It’s inspiring to see the eloquence and happiness that radiates from the 3 most recent articles —

    Honestly, it’s becoming like an advent calendar — a new “window” to open every day up until Christmas.

    Thanks Marty for this advent calendar/blog of yours.


  9. one of those who see

    Michael, what an inspiration you are!
    Thank you to Ingrid and Marty and Mosey who are simply delivering straight LRH in safe environments. And so, people are winning.
    What a novel idea LOL! The future looks bright.

  10. martyrathbun09

    You are so right about Miscavige’s aim. His strongest, best concealed, purpose (clearly apparent if you watch him over time) is to make enemies for Scientology.

  11. Michael-its so funny, I just left you a message wondering how your trip went and lo and behold, in your beautiful eloquent way you told it on this blog. I am so happy that I could contribute in any way. You are such a lovely man.
    BTW, I’m back on line after our storm and outages here!

  12. Thank you Michael.
    I understand your personal journey completely.
    And thank you Marty and Mosey – it’s so good to know you are there – you are an island of sanity in this madness.
    Casablanca… the friendliest place in the world 🙂

  13. And he succeeded. If you read the follow-up comments on the article on Yahhoo about the girl held on the ship, they were incredibly anti-scientology and most pulled their emotions and examples from stories and issues having nothing to do with that particular story about the girl held on the ship. The anti-sacientology sentiment in the public right now is across the boards. Corporate scientology is an island in a hostile sea. An impossible feat to achieve by accident considering the value of the subject matter itself.

  14. “I saw again that the drivel Miscavige, his hired boobies, and the robotic sheepl”

    I am proud of you “Anon” Fairman

    ‘He introduced me to Victor Frankl and Frederick Douglass,”

    Break on through to Erich Fromm and Carl gustav Jung if it intrests you.

    “And the same is true regarding the works of L. Ron Hubbard. I can accept whatever moves me forward and reject the rest.”

    Keep what works and get rid of what golds you back

    Niels martens-Cat daddy

  15. martyrathbun09

    I’d say they are more like Atlantis. Independents are the islands.

  16. Aw! It was like being there! Thank you for painting such a clear picture, Michael! Some day, some day 🙂

  17. Michael, AWESOME!!!!! I am very happy for you. Yes Marty and Mosey are very special people with much love and compassion to share with us all. Ingrid, thanks to you for contributing to move Michael up a little higher! love to you all.

  18. TroubleShooter

    So Michael I am curiouser and curiouser myself about the possibilities to be soloing on OT VII in the freeworld.

    I enjoyed your beautiful communication.

    Hats off to Ingrid.

    Hats off to Marty and hats off to Mosey.

    Hats off to you.

  19. Michael,

    Now that is a WIN!! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful win with us. We need more such wins in the indy field. I am sure we will get more and more as time goes on.

    For those that don’t know, the reference to the Rubicon is Michael’s way of expressing that he crossed over a river with no going back. In Roman history, Julius Caesar closed his 10 year campaign in Gaul and around 53 BC, lead two of his Legions to march on Rome in a coup against his co-counsel, Pompey, and his backers. In doing so, Caesar marched his forces, under arms, across the Rubicon river, which marked the boundary where Romans were not to cross while organized into an army. Doing so was considered a gross act of insubordination and treason. Caesar did so knowing full well that there was no going back.

    Also, it should be noted that Caesar was way outnumbered by the forces of Pompey, which awaited him near Rome. However, Pompey’s forces were mostly new recruits and Caesar’s were tough veterans, totally unphased at being outnumbered. His legions in Gaul were around 70,000, and he bested Gaulic forces numbering some 200,000 plus. In the end, Pompey fled and was eventually defeated by Caesar.

    Michael’s reference to crossing the Rubicon is so very appropriate. It is an act of extreme bravery and total dedication to ones belief, because once crossed, one is committed totally.

    Thanks again, Michael.

  20. Michael, What a wonderful write-up. Loved it.

    Ingrid, What a success story. Fantastic results. Nothing like the tech of enlightenment!

  21. I am so grateful on so many levels, to see this shining, golden man return to himself. I have seen Michael up close and personal for 20 years now and have seen his light eclipsed over these years, by frustration, lies, wrong indications, out tech and treason of the worst kind- spiritual treason. (Michael had been solo-auditing on OT VII for 10 years before he took himself off the level for 6 years)
    For those of you who know our history, you know it has been an unconventional marriage of the heart as there is so much love yet there was conflict. I believe that conflict was largely due to the “eclipse” I referred to above. The face Michael shows to the world was not the face of pain and frustration and dispair that I saw behind closed doors, fairly regularly. But I knew and understood that this golden man was underneath all along. I never stopped knowing that. As our departure from DM’s regime evolved, I noticed more and more gold shining through… More and more of that shining spirit which is Michael started coming to the surface. As we started to confront and understand the truth about the lies we’d been told, the more the conflicts disappeared. Understanding IS a divine solvent!!
    Anyway, when Ingrid helped Michael see that solo-auditing in the indie field would actually be what LRH intended- freeing, distimulating, and exhilarating… that he could take himself into session any time he needed to handle something, apply standard tech, without duress or pressure from Corporate Scn, and actually handle life better- I saw the golden light come flooding back into his eyes. I was in the room and I saw his whole space and beingness change and lighten… He stepped back into his own light at that point because he realized that he COULD have that freedom and that LRH’s gifts were not lies but real possibilities for happiness and fulfillment. He decided then to revisit Marty and get himself back. I knew this was finally the turning point for sweet Michael to find peace again in his own life.
    If Marty had not had the courage to open this door for us all to walk through, I know we personally would not be experiencing this second chance at truly being who we really are and truly living a life of fulfillment that only comes with the freedom to BE, unequivocally.
    We have been given back the freedom to KNOW. That is the greatest gift. Thank you Marty. Thank you Michael for your courage, I love you with all my heart.

  22. And THANK YOU Ingrid!!!! Not only for this PERFECT indication but for being a TRUE artist as an auditor. You are -by LIGHT YEARS- the best auditor I have ever had!!!!

  23. And MOSEY!!! I didn’t mean to leave you out of that acknowledgement! Please forgive me!! Lol!!! You are an amazing warrior princess and I was so happy to know that Michael was safe in your ( and Chiquita’s) care at Casa Blanca!!!
    MUCH love to the three of you!!

  24. So here’s the thing: When I read posts like this one, a general feeling of benevolence and goodwill besets us. It’s very much a theta phenomenon because we share the wins, realizations and cognitions of one of our own, Michael Fairman. We additionally share Michael’s perception of Marty, Mosey, Casablanca, Thanksgiving a year ago compared to today, the state of our religious philosophy, etc. This is quite astounding to me. Thank you, Michael! Might we call you our elder statesman? Rachel

  25. 😉

  26. Joy, that was so beautifully stated and true for so many I know personally. This wil be an inspiration to all!

  27. Michael Fairman

    Thank you Rachel, and yes, but not too elder.

  28. This post reminded me of one of the most wonderful things about being an Independent Scientologist and that is the quality of granting beingness that is part and parcel with this blog. Only in such a space can we feel secure to voice our private thoughts and know that they will be heard and understood. It is here that we can originate and feel duplicated no matter who we are, be that high or low on the org board, public or staff, a celebrity or an unknown.

    Back in the day when Dan Sherman actually told LRH stories (the only part of the event that I did like) he relayed a story about a guy on a motorcycle who was having a bit of relationship trouble and LRH took a few moments to have a comm cycle with him. It was a perfect example of noticing something was not right and caring enough to be there and communicate to the guy. I was so impressed with LRH’s ability to grant beingness, above all that moment together was spent for the betterment of this guy. There was no other motive.

    I see that same quality here, in everyone who was there for you, Michael…and that is truly beautiful! Thank you for sharing this moment with us, for letting us be part of you.

  29. Michael Fairman

    Dearest Joy
    Your acknowledgement is exquisitely beautiful as are you.
    I love you too. I always have and I always will.

  30. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for all you are.

  31. Michael Fairman

    Marty put it all in perspective for me. Turns out it’s not the big deal I thought it was for so many years. Simple, easy and fun, just like LRH says, and you can’t go wrong.

  32. Michael,
    I have been working on a checksheet to lay out the workable, original LRH, materials to audit the NED for OTs Rundown, both Co-audit and Solo. I’ve piloted the drill for the fundamental techniques, and am wrapping some of the additional data. I’m pretty much done actually and will have this final draft available for any who choose. This is a course that applies the original, verified LRH material.

    All of the material is available, this checksheet is just that, a method of assimilating the data in a sequence that includes demoing, drilling and application so one knows for himself what was researched and developed to apply on NOTs.

    While working this checksheet over I found from those who have done NOTs in the church, including the “Six Month Checks”, GROSS violation of the LRH original materials. Reverse Scientology in the extreme. So much so that the exact opposite intention and result of use of the LRH data, is now the practice of David Miscavige’s very own “tech”. Anything from cancellation of one of the LRH termed “best” and “ideal” methods of handling this Advanced Level, to enforcement of aribtraries in direct contradiction to the original data. It includes ignoring the precise handling of charge from OT III up that is supposed to be used on ANY handling of charge.

    In short, there has been a directed ATTACK on the very state of OT by David Miscavige by means of the materials and auditing on the NED for OTs Rundown.

    Marty Rathbun is undoing this, and applying the ORIGINAL LRH MATERIAL, exactly like it’s supposed to be applied. I’m working to make available the same tech so one can continue, un-harassed, to use that same tech as a Solo auditor.

    I suppose this long-winded comment is to communicate to you and others, I UNDERSTAND. It’s no wonder to me, seeing what this SP has done to this body of material, why you and anyone would stay as far away as possible from that Reverse Scientology, suppressive shit.

  33. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement and support. The path lis lit with golden light.

  34. Your added history made this post even better!

  35. I hope I’m not the only one with tears running down my cheeks. I felt your words, Joy! The interchange between the two of you is just beautiful!

  36. I read this this morning (it’s from the FOREWORD, in COHA, following the material on Intensive Procedure, Route 1/2):
    “There are those who would tell you that only a fiend would set you free, and that freedom leads at best into the darkest hells, and there are those to inform you that freedom is for you and not for them, but there are also men of kind heart who know how precious is the cup and drink of wide, unbounded ways. Who is to say whether man will benefit at all from
    this knowledge hardly won? You are the only one who can say.

    “Observation, application, experience and test will tell you if the trek has been made and the answer found. For this is the science of knowing how to know. It is a science which does not include within it cold and musty data, data to be thrust down the throat without examination and acceptance. This is the track of knowing how to know. Travel it and see.”

  37. Li'll bit of stuff

    Michael & Joy,

    This fresh chapter in your lives, which has given you back
    your certainty,while dislodging and shaking out the doubts
    and madness that tried to “undo” you,must be SO-O-O-O
    refreshing & reinvigorating. I’m really moved by your wins!

    As a fellow artist,we are too painfully aware of the propensity
    of SP’s to target and exploit us,with our creativity often the
    biggest casualty! Thankfully,that ol’ trusty steed “TRUTH”
    with it’s magnificent, battalion general, in the saddle,came
    to the rescue. I know,for sure,that overwhelming sense of
    relief, when you’re in the hands of a TRULY brave,certain
    and confident Grandmaster! Marty, PLEASE take a bow !

    Thank you,yet AGAIN Marty& Monique,for BEING there, Confronting and doing the ol’ Man (LRH) –PROUD !!! And to you, Michael for falling back to what we ALL know,
    REALLY WORKS ! LRH’s PURE auditing technology, in the
    capable hands of a genuine,caring Auditor like MARTY !!!

    Enjoy the warmth of people who really CARE! The Indies.

    Luv & ARC Li’ll bit

  38. I just realized, we’ve heard no mention of the Squirrel Busters in a long time. Are they gone? Were people still following you when you were there?


    BTW, I’m sure you’ve all heard of the fundraiser in Clearwater for the Ruth Eckerd Hall with David Pomerantz performing that was cancelled due to significant negative comments. Some PR the “church” has! HA!

  40. one of those who see

    “You have from us and others what can only be given, never forced.”
    Standing ovation!! Loved your whole comment.
    I am so happy to be out of the “enforced everything!” of the Church.

  41. Tom Gallagher


    You truly are Master of Qual. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    And you too Michael for all you do to encourage and prompt sanity.

    So many here represent the best we as mankind represent. Thank you all!

  42. No, of course not! Not too elder. LOL Rachel

  43. Li'll bit of stuff

    Hi JIM,

    Our first time contact, I believe.I MUST say it’s great to have
    a “guru” in “the engine room” to get REAL LRH SCN upper
    levels made available again!! Still a lot of mopping up to do
    after the severe flooding of the field by typhoon MADAMAGE

    “Full Steam Ahead !!!!” ARC Li’ll bit

  44. Michael,

    It was after reading about your first trip to CasaBlanca here on this blog that I made the decision to go see for myself what this was all about, and what ensued for me was also a week of wonderment and theta. I am overjoyed to hear your 2nd time around topped the first, as once I get the decks cleared, I will be making the downhill run to IoB again.

    As for Solo Auditing, well it can be pretty amazing what happens when no one is enforcing anything on you….increasing KRC by leaps and bounds.
    All the best to you and yours.

  45. I agree wholeheartedly.
    I had the money, but somehow could not bring myself to give it to Flag for Solo NOTS. Something deep inside just kept saying, “wait”. Part of that something was I knew there would be a war when I confronted Qual at Flag and expressed my disgust at their alterations of F/N.

    So, I held off. I did the Solo NOTs under the guidance of a competent, independent VIII and had nothing but wins and more wins all the way through. I even let myself “have” those persistent F/Ns for days and weeks. What a joy.

    Thanks so much, Michael, for your eloquent statement of TRUTH.


  46. News break… that is off subject, but important breaking news. Main stream business mag Forbes re: Church and IRS:

    Sorry for the interruption, please carry on with the current discussion.

  47. Michael,

    What a beautiful and eloquently expressed success story. I’m sure that your experience with Marty will inspire many others who have lost interest in the tech to “take another shot” at it. I admire your persistence and passion for life and am sure that you will see the hope of man fulfilled.

    Well done brother – you’re the best.

    L, Scott

  48. Hi Mike;

    I understand exactly where you are ‘coming from’ in regards to pretty much walking away in utter disgust. Sometimes when you throw out the bath water, you have to go find the baby. Very happy you found yours.


  49. Norton,
    Next time I promise ……….4 bean chili!!!
    Thank you for your kind words! We love you man!!

  50. Michael Fairman

    Wonderful. I’ll send you a Priority Mail Label. Let us know when it’s available. And thank you for your continued expertise and insight.

  51. Michael Fairman

    Thank you. It was a profound revelation to read Frankl and Douglass. For them to have experienced the worst of the worst crap that life can dish out, and to come through it free and spiritually whole are examples of marvelous proportions. Using them as models is a powerful thing. To paraphrase a line from one of my and Marty;s favorite flicks: “Nobody never does nothin’ to Fred C. Dobbs”.

  52. What a great reference, Jim.
    I know I have gained my real knowledge of the tech from not only studying it, but from the experiences I have gone thru in applying it, misapplying it, living it, being the receipt point of in-tech…and out-tech…on policy…off policy. It is truly a process of examination and integrity. With all of that, and the ability to differentiate all that comes one’s way…it leads to freedom.
    Miscavige is intent on taking away the ability to look, examine and differentiate, and be true to oneself…the real ability that it takes to be free.

  53. Michael, that brings me to tears of joy. I am so happy that you’re back to auditing. I know that is the way for us all. I know it. It is inspiring to me to see you get back on and ride. I’ve a long way to go yet and this puts another “yes, I can” in my bucket of theta postulates. Congrats and very very well done man!
    And kudos to the auditors of the world! Marty, Ingrid & Monique – Awesomeness abounds!

  54. Michael Fairman

    Thank you. You are one of my main guys. Your friendship along with Karry’s, and your support and guidance this last year was and is a priceless treasure. Brother, you’re the best of the best

    With love, Michael

  55. Thank you Michael. I think you speak from a place where many of us are at or have come from. Hearing of the journey and where it may lead is of importance as I have had similar thoughts to yours. I love this tech…I apply it everyday…I live the knowledge I have learned. But I have been withdrawn from wanting to pursue personal auditing goals with it because of … well, probably the same reasons you did. I feel more hopeful for my future in this regard.

  56. Michael Fairman

    Hey Alice I’m leavin’ Trixie and gettin’ on the next plane. Whoa! 4 bean chile!!! Keep it away from Ralphie or he won’t be able to fit in the chair Yuk, yuk, yuk.

  57. Bryan~Can I just tell you that solo auditing is really fun (I’m just talking ruds type stuff even at this point). It’s super cool to be in control of the session.

  58. Ingrid, you rock sister!

  59. martyrathbun09

    One of these days, Norton! Next time we play golf:

  60. martyrathbun09

    Well, there is one guy that messed with Dobbsy:

  61. I’m having a tear fest over here – what right indications those are. I’m so happy for you both. 😀

  62. Hello Jim, liked this one.

    I also like this one from the SCN 8-8008 Book

    “Auditors who are not theta clear seldom understand it, and a low-toned uncleared auditor who cannot himself leave his body very often acts to pin a preclear inside his body. […]
    The fear of some thetans from various causes of leaving the body causes the auditor — who is the thetan — to make other thetans stay in bodies, and it is actually quite dangerous to be audited by auditors who are not theta clears. The process is not dangerous; uncleared auditors are. – LRH, SCN 8-8008

    Before I found this blog, I didn’t know that DM isn’t moving up the bridge himself.
    This guy is really running a Baal Corporation.

  63. Wonderfull success stroy.
    The picture says it all.
    Just beautifull.

  64. Tony DePhillips

    Thanks Michael for sharing that well written debrief of your stay with M&M and the wins your’e having. Good to hear. Also very real how you look at your spiritual enhancement now.

    I loved the movie you guys watched too. The leading lady was very interesting.

  65. Tony DePhillips

  66. Hope you had some blueberry pancakes!

  67. This blog is turning into a great love fest. I know what Marty has done as an auditor as I know some of his PreOts very well. He is an incredible auditor-Thank you Marty!

  68. Thank you, Michael! Very happy for you, you a great being and an excellent writer. I don’t want to repeat what others have said already very eloquently. I just wanted to point out the tone level of all the comments to your post, the pure and unadulterated theta. It blew some charge. But what charge? Maybe it was clear to everyone on the blog but I didn’t get it at first so I gave it some thought. I think the indication that blew charge for people was your coming back to Scientology for answers and resolutions to your life situations. We all went or going through doubts about Scientology and LRH. Who knows, Shamanism may be an awesome thing, color therapy may clear acne and I was told in Russia they even have a union of licensed sorcerers (kolduni) who do miracles. However, every time we do the over the ramparts charge at life and then find ourselves up to our butts in crocodiles, we don’t go for color therapy, we go back to Scientology for the excellent reason that it works and it is available. That is the bottom line simplicity and the truth that I liked very much in your post.

  69. Michael, here’s to you for appreciating Lisbeth Salander, aka the girl with the dragon tattoo. She could be the icon of the the price of freedom… constant alertness, constant willingness to fight back. Just finished reading the book for the second time. Noomi Rapace was stellar in embodying the role in the Swedish series… unforgettable. There is a lot in those books reflecting the scientology world and the world in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone writes the Philosophy of Lisbeth Salander book. She like so many has a heart that wants to open and love she can’t express. Supposedly Stieg Larsson was inspired by Pippi Longstocking and what she would be grown up with the other principle taking cues from another Astrid Lindgren character Kalle Blomqvist, boy detective. Pippi, model of insouciance, would have to have some heavy duty wounding to come out as Lisbeth. Gotta love her grit, determination, focus and ability to change the game. Inspiring!

    I’m sure you don’t remember but we met at the Lemon Tree at Flag years ago.

  70. Cindy Pinsonnault


    You move me every time you write something here and this is no exception. I could hear some of my own thoughts in your words and you certainly captured and beautifully expressed the Casablanca experience.


    As someone before me wrote, many of these recent blog posts have been very uplifting and they remind me of why I ever was a scientologist. They give me hope for the future and make me want to get a move on!

    Thank you both.

  71. Michael ~~
    You have always been a damned good actor.
    Your get right into the valence of the character.
    But I’ll be damned you are as good a WRITER ! PHEW !
    Sometimes the text of the writing jumps right off the page
    into the mind and moves one up and down the entire tone scale
    in seconds. No monotony there !
    Michael, I tip my hat to you. Beautifully spoken.
    Joy’s was fabulous too !

  72. Michael Fairman

    I agree Noomi was perfect as Lisbeth. And isn’t it amazing that given her circumstances that she rose above the “bank” to be that icon of freedom you describe. I haven’t read the books but have seen the trilogy half a doesn’t times. The actors are wonderful even the deliciously evil bad guys.

    If I saw a face I would probably remember you. Thank you for your post.

  73. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for you generous comment. There is an abundance of hope. Move when the spirit takes you.

  74. Michael Fairman

    This acknowledgement coming from you is a mitzvah (for those who are not too Jewish: a blessling). Thank you. You are so right in what you say. The truth is like a magnet. And Scientology has simple but powerful truth.
    When one needs to charge the ramparts it is good to have a good horse under you.

  75. Jim,
    I was only saying today that we need to get a clear statement up on this blog to describe the travesty that has happened to the upper levels, and here you are communicating my thoughts perfectly. Thanks for this, you are a stable point in a sea of technical instability. Loved our recent discussions, looking forward to more in the near future. My better half also sends her love.


  76. Address the ball??? Ralphie, you look down you can;t even see the ball!

  77. Michael Fairman


  78. Michael Fairman

    I can’t wait to get back again. I didn’t even want to leave. That place is so serene. I’m sure your second trip will be exhilarating.
    And thank you.

  79. Michael,
    To read your wins was so good and I reflected on your realizations and changes. I thoroughly enjoyed the time, even though brief, that we spent enjoying life, the arts, and our postulates for all to come through this journey. I have thought many times of the picture of you winning the body building contest in your 60’s! I expect you to continue charging forward to move the boundaries of life in an ever expanding direction.

    Answers are found in Scientology for many things. Answers are found in the written or spoken experiences of so many others also. Truth is truth. We know it is where we find it – not where we are dictated to look (or even not look) for it.

    I know you will continue to inspire, entertain and communicate to bring about the changes you know are needed. All of us – in playing this game of life – want and need change as a prelude to growth.

    Enjoy this one Michael – smile – enjoy more friends – you are a wonderful and caring being. Thank you for sharing with us and letting others share in the wins! Thank you Marty and Mosey for this joyful product.

    This video could have been made just for what you have experienced. I personally feel it says a lot of what I know about you (no evaluation intended – what you find true here is your truth.)
    Namaste, my friend.

  80. Michael Fairman

    Thank you. Seems every one of us here moves every other one of us up a little higher.

  81. Jim, my friend – that was so very perfect! The quality of communication and knowledge within this group is top notch. I once told Michael Fairman he was a Renaissance Man or Polymath. I must say that most who are part of this group fit that category. Today we have the products of standard auditing from Marty, wins from Michael, input from you, Karen B., Windhorse, Rachel (widowDenk), Centurian and all the others.

    The combined understanding, theta and the intentions to make life better for all shows throughout the months and years of this blog. The following stresses a generalized understanding and knowledge of life. That is what Independents demonstrate. As compared to a specialized “education” form current IAS/CM members where-in ONLY their specific altered knowledge is to be used. Their problem is that this altered material does not lead to a more successful life, toward increased awareness, toward personal enhanced survival or toward a more enlightened society or group.

    As shown by Michael’s success story, wins and comments – life is to be lived as we find it.

    Jim, you are a wonderful Renaissance man and your knowledge of the true LRH tech and your willingness to share this with us is so warmly welcome. Thanks. And with that I can forgive you for not being available up north to fly fish with at this time. Enjoy the sunshine and keep your top knot intact!

    The concept of a Renaissance man/woman from wiki:

    “The common term Renaissance man is used to describe a person who is well educated or who excels in a wide variety of subjects or fields.[3] The concept emerged from the numerous great thinkers of that era who excelled in multiple fields of the arts and science, including Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Galileo Galilei, Copernicus and Francis Bacon; the emergence of these thinkers was likewise attributed to the then rising notion in Renaissance Italy expressed by one of its most accomplished representatives, Leon Battista Alberti (1404–1472): that “a man can do all things if he will.” It embodied the basic tenets of Renaissance humanism, which considered humans empowered, limitless in their capacities for development, and led to the notion that people should embrace all knowledge and develop their capacities as fully as possible. Thus the gifted people of the Renaissance sought to develop skills in all areas of knowledge, in physical development, in social accomplishments, and in the arts. The term has since expanded from original usage and has been applied to other great thinkers before and after the Renaissance such as Aristotle, Johann Goethe, and Isaac Newton.”

    “These expressions derived from the ideal in Renaissance Humanism that it was possible to acquire a universal learning[5] in order to develop one’s potential, (covering both the arts and the sciences[6] and without necessarily restricting this learning to the academic fields). When someone is called a Renaissance man or woman today, it is meant that they do not have only broad interests or a superficial knowledge of several fields, but rather that their knowledge is profound and often that they also have proficiency or accomplishments in at least some of these fields and in some cases even at a level comparable to the proficiency or the accomplishments of an expert.[7] The related term Generalist is used to contrast this general approach to knowledge to that of the specialist. The expression Renaissance person today commonly implies only intellectual or scholastic proficiency and knowledge and not necessarily the more universal sense of “learning” implied by Renaissance humanism.”

  82. Me too! It’s been 15 years.

  83. Ax,
    I want to write up what I’ve found, with as much detail as possible that the web as medium will permit. The first thing I wanted done was a workable solution which the checksheet will provide.

    Frankly, what has been done to squirrel this level of tech by David Miscavige, claiming LRH as source, has gone beyond what I thought that prick was able to get through the lines.

    It is truly – evil.

    I have heard descriptions that made me weep, knowing how far off the rails he’s taken this data, and what the level actually is.

    That beings like Michael Fairman are able to persevere on, with such a dynamic in play, is testament to that tenacity to life they are endowed with. Amazing. You and yours too. I’m just amazed at the calibre of being that participates here.

  84. Love the pure joy and laughter on your faces!!!
    Keep it up.

  85. Every time a statistic worsens slightly, quickly find out why and remedy it.
    Discover what caused the conditon of affluence and strengthen it.

  86. Li'll bit of stuff

    Dear Ingrid,

    I have been meaning to touch bases for a while, after having
    read your indie auditor resume. I really FEEL that pure
    THETA coming through, with every single post you make
    on this blog.Your “field” are sure privileged to have an
    Auditor of YOUR calibre guiding them up a “little higher”

  87. Li'll bit of stuff

    Ingrid, My flunk for the abrupt ending !! Apologies !!
    And just to add, YAY! Don’t you just dig “love fests?”

    Feelin’ the L-O-V-E Li’ll bit

  88. Tory Christman

    I’m very, very happy for you. You have a wonderful ability to tell
    what has happened, and I appreciate you sharing it with each of us.
    Marty, I gotta tell ya this: you are a lucky man to have such a wonderful
    wife as Mosey at your side. I think she truly is outstanding, and I’ve never met her. ALL I have to do is look at you smiling,and that tells all.

    Great job to each of you! Happy December to ALL 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  89. Joy and Michael,
    After seeing so many marriages and families destroyed it is like a little piece of heaven to witness the love you have for each other.
    Thank you for sharing.
    If I have learned anything it is that however the spirit may be smashed and tortured, real love survives and goes from strength to strength.
    Thank you both so very much for putting this into very clear perspective for me.

  90. + 1,000.000

  91. Michael,
    You’ll get it straight away. No worries.

  92. Jim
    You have no idea how much that indicates.
    I walked away from Flag at the pinnacle of being pounded to start OTVI and VII. Even though both were fully paid for and I was ‘ready to go’ I knew instinctively that it was dangerous to move forward and so I walked away. I walked away not knowing if I would ever be able to move further on the Bridge but that was a better option than to deny myself and what I knew. Three years later I have found that which I never dreamed was possible. True independence, true freedom, true friends and a Bridge that is MINE and not subject to the rape and pillage of my soul.
    What you are giving us is not only a reward beyond all dreams for having the personal courage and integrity to walk away from a lie, you are also helping to free those who do not yet have the strength to let go of the false freedom that keeps them tethered to Miscavige’s cult. You are undoing the lie that the Bridge can only be traversed in slavery and that the implanter has the monopoly on freedom.
    I got a refund from the church for OT VI and VII and flowed a chunk of that money in getting my daughter to Marty for repair auditing – a far better use of the money 😉
    Please send me the check sheets when they’re done. I’m ready. Meanwhile I’m listening to the PDC lectures again. I thoroughly recommend this for anyone who wants to continue to have huge spiritual gains while being temporarily ‘parked’ on the Bridge for personal or logistical reasons.
    Thanks Tigger! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  93. Michael,
    I enjoyed your post very much (as well as your first one in January) – and also the comments which emerged thereof. It´s great, that you are doing so well! I also just read Viktor Frankl´s “Man´s Search For Meaning”. It is an excellent book, one of the best I read so far. Some of what Viktor Frankl wrote, gives me a possibility to have a clearer view regarding things that happened in the past, specially in the CoS, and they will assist me in the future, due to the unique viewpoints Frankl conveys.

  94. martyrathbun09

    Actually, I am doing quite a bit more than that. Scientology is a method of leading a person toward knowing how to know. That is the essence of its very literal definition. If one believes it is an end in itself, or that any other ism is an end in itself, I believe they have entered a maze. The harder one asserts that it is the end, the more the maze becomes a trap.

  95. Sandy Richards

    Hello Michael,
    I loved your and Joy’s write-ups.
    Funny, how the doubts you had are so familiar.
    I think it is the certainty of the workability of the tech, (you know, when it was actually the tech being applied) that never goes away.
    You can’t remove what you know, what you have seen for your own self, what you have been witness to….you just can’t get rid of that.
    It’s that total certainty; it’s that vivid recall; it’s literally watching things unfold; it’s those line charging realizations, which I think create that magnet for the tech.
    The original, unaltered tech does work.
    Congratulations on your persistent search and rediscovery.
    I’m right behind you on this.

  96. OOTWS,

  97. “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory..”
    Viktor Frankl

  98. Carol,
    +1 Very well said!!

  99. And THIS is why I follow this blog and adore Marty. He GETS it.

    In my particular ism — Buddhism — a friend recently reminded a group of us: “The Buddha never HEARD of Buddhism”

    One uses an ism to help him piece together his heart which through eons has become fractured. One uses the ism to start to uncover what is encrusted within a solid cocoon (bank) of habitual patterns and delusions.
    One uses the ism to begin to see what IS and then at a point, one steps free from the ism to just BE.

    Then, returning to the ism to bring others through the steps so they too can step free.

    Returning to the ism for community and joy.

    But never confusing the ism for what IS. It just helps to POINT to what is.

    (pointing to the moon, isn’t the moon)


  100. Agreed.
    Radical Scientology is all about self-abnegation – the very process that leads to the worshiping of idols and the adoption of group think.
    Miscavige has set himself up as an idol – the guardian of truth and the gatekeeper to freedom – what a fantastic lie – what a beautiful and clear dramatisation of the very trap Scientology was designed to handle.
    Real truth is the static. When a thetan cognates on that he is already free.

  101. And I only just cognited that myself!
    LOL! Thanks Marty!!! 😀

  102. “Anything from cancellation of one of the LRH termed “best” and “ideal” methods of handling this Advanced Level”

    Jim, I know exactly what piece of tech you’re talking about. Thank goodness, I learned it very early on. I was actually asked by an FSO “cramming officer” sometime in the 90s, “where did you learn that from? It’s not in the materials”. Of course it wasn’t, it had already been deleted in the “revised” solo NOTs course.

  103. Marty: Creating enemies for Scientology has so many uses for POB. One is that he then uses them to attack other staff saying they can never handle these enemies and only he can, so it ends up on his lines to handle, and they (other staff are SPs). He started running that line on a situation I was dealing with, while he never did anything to handle any of it, and in the end it was me and some other staff he would attack that handled it all. In one of his rants about this, he literally sounded exactly like a spoiled child throwing the mother of all tantrums. He should have been spanked and put to bed at that point.
    And these enemies of course allow him to create the dangerous environment that is so useful in getting the faithful to pony up their life savings, equity in their homes, and fruits of their overmaxed credit lines.
    Enemies have lots of uses….

  104. Perfect song, Tory! Thanks … L, Rachel

  105. That one made my heart sink, Maurice. But, then I remembered Jim’s post and all was good again. What you are doing, Jim, is priceless.

    Over the past two years I have gained much mass on “real evil” by learning of what DM has done to the tech. DM is one of the big SPs for sure.

  106. “I walked away not knowing if I would ever be able to move further on the Bridge but that was a better option than to deny myself and what I knew. ”

    That indicates! It was how I felt as well and it wasn’t long after finding Marty’s blog that I sat and cried, realizing that Scientolgy hadn’t been taken away from me, it was just temporarily lost. I actually never felt like I lost it but because of all the cut communication lines surrounding disconnection and declares, the life dynamic had been severed so it felt gone and I had decided to give it another shot next lifetime. Then…there was life! lol.

  107. Maurice,
    The suppression goes beyond cancelling and removing this LRH tech. If you had been trained in and used it, that very fact was used against you to enforce that as one of the reasons why you HAD to redo the level. The gods decided and removed the LRH handling and tech and then accused one who had used it somehow this meant they didn’t do the “real level” and “weren’t complete” because one hadn’t done it the new revised (as in altered, watered down, reverse tech) method.

    Guess they wanted to quickly implant those who had escaped the mad house and get them back behind the gates of hell. I watched my spouse go through that and haven’t really thought much of the goal of doing VI and VII since.

    Just as Sam wrote above. We really already know and are free and we know when someone is selling BS and hiding the real treasures!

  108. Loved the video!

  109. top of the vale

    Jim I can’t tell you how much I admire what you and Marty are doing to keep the tech pure and unaltered.
    I also want to properly ack our previous comm cycle and that I did what you recommended and it still after all this time has not resolved. It has taken a lot of confront to deal with the reverse technology.
    Truly yours,
    Poo Face

  110. martyrathbun09

    Reminds me of the book The Shack when the protagonist accuses Christ of being a Christian.

  111. top of the vale

    I have known you and Joy for some years now and am sorry you were lied to by those who you thought you could trust. Isn’t it a bitch when you wake up finally and realize that it’s all been for naught? I know that one can have difficulty separating out the wheat from the chaff but Being the thetan you are, you came back to yourself in glorious fashion as your beautiful wife and partner so eloquently communicated. WELCOME BACK!

  112. Christ arrived not looking like Christ SO THAT the protagonist could view him truly not THROUGH some preconceived concept of what “Christ” meant.

    Within my buddhist community – getting “stuck” into the fundamentalness or trappings of the tradition is called “spiritual materialism” — one of the best explanations I’ve ever heard of how we get STUCK into the materialism of the spiritual path.

    It’s not just the physical trappings of a particular path but being SOLID about the teachings – materialistic about them. I’m smart. Your dumb etc

    Spiritual materialism is RAMPANT amongst the corporate scientologists and that particular malady takes years to decompress from.

    Many never do decompress but thanks to this blog – many are actually seeing HOW they might have been stuck and why and where.

    dmology is the PINNACLE of spiritual materialism however we all to some degree were caught into that spiritual material web and only really LEAVE it when we are no longer ism oriented

    For me it’s a constant work in progress. Constant.


  113. Actually I misworded the above —

    We only really LEAVE spiritual materialism when we no longer confuse the ISM with what it points to — the truth.

    I’m not against belonging or contributing to an ism — as long as it doesn’t become a solid concrete YOU MUST BELIEVE LIKE THIS system 🙂

  114. Michael,

    Lyrical. My applause.

    What you write presents such dramatic contrast. The ability to have knowledge and understanding and all that is good in Scientology. The ability to have Scientology.

    “Put your hand against mine, follow it, and contribute to its motion.” Such a simple thing to communicate and gain havingness with control over one’s life. Such a simple thing to use that control and communication to make each of our lives better. All these beings contributing. All these beings increasing their havingness. All these beings owning what is here.

    Any endeavor fails to the degree that its participants fail to take ownership. And that includes Scientology.

    Scientology was a gift. To be owned by any who chooses to understand. We’ve seen what happens when a single individual attempts to usurp our ownership of Scientology.

    Thank you for sharing. All great experiences expand in sharing. It’s an urge we all have. Just because we can.

  115. Yes, a very insightful posting.

  116. Exactly! 🙂

  117. Thank you, Michael! Totally agreed. Scientology needs to be reformed or separated from the Church, preserved through these times of transition, disseminated and used. Thanks for all you do on that!

  118. I remember seeing you in promo pieces and movies but have never met you. What really comes across in this write up is the tone. While reading it a sence of calm swept over me. To me this means that the origanator was in a very good place while writting. It is not often that things communicate in this mannor. Fantastic on finding a stable base and a ladder to keep moving on up.

    All the best to you and yours.


  119. Michael Fairman

    Thank you Dylan
    I felt I was writing from a sense of calm, like being in the eye of a storm. All around there is turbulence, and I found a place, not so much to avoid the wind and the rain, but to see what they actually are — just wind and rain. And now knowing I have the power not to get drenched or be swept from my feet. I see that in Frankl, Douglass and many others. And I see that Scientology among other disciplines help to keep me in that eye.

    This sounds a little gushy for a Saturday morning, but what the hell.

  120. WOWIE WOW WOOOW !! This particular thread is SO poignant and true for me that I just had to let you know, Marty, Windhorse and Sam that I am beaming with love for you for articulating such a divine truth. Thank you. Sooooo lovely..

  121. Thank you!!! Find us on FB so we can know who you are!!!

  122. Karry Campbell

    So happy to see that you got through all of that. I too had to blow through my own uncertainty over the years. You took a much shorter time than I did.

    My doubt and thus research was from 1994 to 2010. Way too long. I knew that the tech worked but was not certain what my next step was or even if I wanted to take that next step in the quagmire. Much of the time I felt like I was going against what I’d grown up with.

    I could not trust anyone outside of Scott to be there for me while I hashed all of it through. My own parents, both Scientologists, did not “get it” even when they saw the disastrous results that the Sea Org had wrought. They just chalked it up to “mistakes” that the staff were later corrected on. HA!!! NFW!!! It was intentional.

    Love ya,

  123. Beautiful analogy…cutie!

  124. Awesome information.

  125. Hat’s off to you, Jim.

  126. Completely awesome Jim! Thank you just doesn’t enough express the acknowledgement you deserve from the 3rd and 4th dynamic.

  127. As I read this wonderful letter it stirs my interest in getting audited again. Knowing that it would take my life savings, knowing I would be totally harassed, knowing that what I would need to have done would be stretched out forever with problems just made me not want to go to Flag.

    Now I hear how Marty is creating what we all wanted. A wonderful local group of people reaching for the same goal in a very safe happy space.

    It was that way in the beginning sort of.. money has always been the driving force. If they would have only offered the upper levels at Flag all would have probably been okay.

    It is amazing how many SP’s made all the way up the bridge and to top management.

    Which leads me to this question: “Can a SP even be an Auditor?”

  128. Michael Fairman


    Thank you. Yes his ideas of how to use the past to deal with the present really blew my mind. — a way to handle what comes, and very helpful in creating what is to come.

  129. Michael Fairman

    Absolutely right. What I understand now which I was never able to get in the church, especially during the later years, was the simplicity. It’s made so complex there, I felt I was carrying around a building. Now it’s as light as air.

  130. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your post. It is good to know that you have decided to continue with your auditing, on your own terms.

    I also gave up much chance of ever proceeding up the OT levels, many years back. It has only been recently that I have started to look at the possibilities of actually doing them.

    Somehow I had come to the conclusion that “it really wasn’t worth the effort.” This had a lot to do with the fact that I thought the whole thing was “out exchange”, on the part of the “church”. For me, it simply didn’t seem viable for me to have to become a slave to money in order to achieve spiritual freedom. Perhaps I was just lazy, but the bottom line was that, after a certain point, (after my FPRD in 1981ish) none of the “auditing” that I was getting seemed to be “paralleling” my case, and in fact, was “stirring it up” and leaving it unhandled. The estimate of how long it would take to get the “set-ups and elegibility” in order to even start the OT levels, was SEVEN intensives….(87 1/2 hours!) ( keeping in mind I had already had approximately 8 intensives, (100 hours) of basically WASTED (read “abusive”) “auditing” since I had been acknowledged Clear. I knew right there that this was not my case that the “church” was planning to “audit”, because I am a pretty “A to B” PC.

    But… somehow I decided to get L 12 in the independent field (Pierre Ethier), and I found myself being DUPLICATED.

    Well… long story short… I am now working towards putting things in place so that I can proceed up the OT levels. I am actually starting to look forward to it! I am not particularly looking for “relief from” some kind of suffering, I simply want to go on that particular path of discovery, to augment my discoveries through the study of Scientology and Dianetics, and the living of life.

    Thank you Michael, and all you others who carry the flag for Spiritual Freedom.

    Eric S

  131. joe

    You asked (perhaps rhetorically) ..“Can a SP even be an Auditor?”

    NO. Not in any sense of the word.

    An SP who is feigning at being an auditor is really never anything more than an IMPLANTER. It is the total inversion of Auditing.

    Eric S

  132. Samantha,
    You are very, very welcome for anything I can do. Especially you.

  133. That’s why I posted that excerpt from COHA. Particularly this:

    ““Observation, application, experience and test will tell you if the trek has been made and the answer found. For this is the science of knowing how to know. It is a science which does not include within it cold and musty data, data to be thrust down the throat without examination and acceptance. This is the track of knowing how to know. Travel it and see.”

  134. This should be waaaay up there under Marty’s comment about knowing how to know.

  135. tov,
    Write to me mate. I wanted a follow up anyway, to see if it did resolve.

  136. martyrathbun09

    Unless you’ve had a very invasive lobotomy, their set ups estimate ain’t even in this universe.

  137. Clearly you get it too. And I get you.
    Damn I love Indieism! 😀

  138. (that’s for Windhorse xxx)

  139. I feel it.
    You beam love so well.. Did you choose your own name? 😉

  140. Surviving the Cult of Miscavige and coming out in one piece with sanity and self-respect – pricey.
    Riding on a the crest of a ginormous wave of theta moving on up into the stratosphere – priceless.
    What did that fellow say about communication being the universal solvent?
    Whew!!! Wow!!!

  141. Michael Fairman

    I’ve been back from Marty’s two days and am experiencing the calm I wrote about in answer to Dylan’s post.
    The sense that I can just go in and handle without being burdened by all the garbage you mentioned in and of itself has created a huge space. It then seems to be a simple matter to communicate with ease I never experienced before. Add to that the concept of the meter being an acknowledgement of what one knows is happening, which is so freeing I want to fly. Marty made that possible by helping me remove the layers and layers of significances that had been piled on. And what I have been left with is the simplicity of it. I do see that spiritual freedom is in the offing. Everything else that is swirling around is chaff.

  142. wh,
    I’ve just gone through the Phoenix Lectures again, and now am going through COHA (hence the little bits from them) and it is very true for me that considerations take rank over mechanics. I spotted all sorts of “devices”, hearing aids, heat sensors, touch differentiators, “good vibe” detectors, light variation respondingies, a whole myriad of perception things mocked up in space, with energy and persisting in time.

    “Spiritual material”. Fixed ideas. Automaticities. Substitutes for attention and present observation. Machines.

    It it’s “something” it isn’t “nothing”.

  143. Karen, thank GOD your are here. isn’t Michael thoughtful? He brought with him every vegan’s and vegetarian’s favorite on Thanksgiving, turkey wings and drumsticks! 🙂 Don’t make me BARF! 🙂

  144. martyrathbun09

    And let us not forget that we are rehabilitating the ability to make nothing out of something – ref: Phoenix Lectures.

  145. Terrific. Love this — if it’s something, it isn’t nothing 🙂

  146. Love this Sam … Indieism!!! 🙂

  147. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your most spiritual acknowledgement. It immediately created no distance between us. It, along with the thoughts expressed in this beautiful video is what I aspire to, The possibilities are now wondrous and infinite. I look forward to meeting again very soon.
    With great affection, Michael

  148. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for always being there with a kind word and a beautiful song

  149. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your earlier comments. You are a continual inspiration, a warrior that has few peers, and a beautiful spirit who also happens to be a beautiful woman. I wish you and your family the happiest of holidays

  150. LOL
    Get in line Tigs!

  151. An SP can even be YOU and then you lie to yourself because you are an SP and say you’re not an SP and believe it! 🙂

  152. Marty

    I think that a “very invasive lobotomy” was the purpose of at least three of those intensives that I received.

    Anyway…I DID survive, and I AM stronger, and since they could not make it “stick” it will be certain to rebound back onto them. (the “them” that I am referring to here pretty certainly “rolls back” to David Miscavige.) I am not about to fixate on DM, but I work towards him someday realizing the magnitude of his betrayal to us all. The path that he has chosen is plenty dark enough that everything else will pale by comparison. He was certainly already a tortured being… This lifetime he has outdone himself. It will be a long and gruesome path for him to get back to the lightness of freedom and responsibility.

    I just realized that what he has done is to firmly place himself in opposition to Theta, and that places him squarely within the realms of being MEST. It is not going to work out well for him.

    Eric S

  153. Michael,

    Splurge on your new or rekindled beingness. One deserves everything that they are capable of creating.

    Another God stands tall and calmly surveys his own universe. it is a beautiful thing to see.

    Eric S

  154. FROM ALEX CASTILLO The Million Dollar Question


    39 years ago, after carefully and without misunderstoods studying and duplicating a number of books and other works by LRH, fully conscious of what I was doing and after having fully understood what the Dianetics and Scientology purposes were all about, and having personally experienced the effects of what I have studied, I signed a billion year contract , it’s main purpose being “TO PUT ETHICS IN ON THIS PLANET AND THE UNIVERSE”. My interpretation of such commitment, having understood what Dianetics and Scientology were capable of in terms of freeing Humanity of Aberration by the correct application of the technologies ( Tech and Admin) developed by LRH, was, unmistakably, one that matched Common Sense and Well Meaning for myself and the Human Race. I was happy to dedicate my entire present life and future track to such purpose, a purpose which is still very much part of my universe, even if I don’t audit people
    and even if I am not involved in regular Scientology activities.

    It was because of my years of extensive training and experience with LRH’s work that my early warning sytem kicked in and I left the group when David Miscavige’s influence started to show in 1981, after 10 years of serving as a dedicated Flag staff member.
    Many years later (when the Internet became available to me) I started to learn about how Miscavige was corrupting what took so many years to create, and it upset me to no end, but there was nothing I could do about it, being a regular working man in the “wog” world and tottaly disconnected from the Scn world. When the Internet became available to me I followed the news first from the XSO website, then to my old friend Nancy Many’s book site, then
    Mark Hedley’s expose about his escape from the Cult of Miscavige, then to Marty’s departure from the hell hole, then the creation of this blog, then to Mike Rinder’s escape and up to PT. Every bit of it. So I am not lacking info, including present time. For anyone who would question my words, I am an well informed old time Sea Org member and not talking out of my ass.

    Marty’s blog has been so far a place where I can at any time, expect truthful statements and I cannot feel anything else but admiration and respect for all those who, in spite of how they have been attacked or of their fears of repraisal from David Miscavige and his band of highly paid lawyers and blind followers, they have come out and told the truth about the criminal activities of the Church of Scientology Corporation led personally by David Miscavige. But…..

    Here is my common sense and True Justice sense kicking in, no offense intended, and here is the Million Dollar question:

    How come, in spite of all the witnesses and evidence of David Miscavige’s criminal violations of the US (and other countries) laws there has been no clear attempt by all people the affected to bring up legal criminal charges against him? So far all the world can see is a hot PR battle between “apostates” and the Church of Scientology.

    Tit for Tat. We tell on Miscavige and he figures a way to “tell on us”, thus creating his desired “reasonable doubt” in the public’s mind and creating a stuck flow (nothing really happens). Publicized witness accounts of Miscavige’s crimes exposed to the public vs. Miscavige’s legal machine responses seem to be causing mainly a “split jury”/”hung jury”, hence “mistrial” (stuck flow) and in the meantime, while Joe Public thinks there is not enough evidence to condemn Miscavige and his cult, he is laughing all the way to the bank!

    Is the lack of legal action because it is perceived that a legal battle requires unlimited funds like he has and we don’t have a chance in hell to win? With all the evidence and witnesses available, it shouldn’t take too much to prove a case against him in spite of his wealthy legal machine which can only defend Miscavige by telling lies or twisting the truth, while a case against him would only consist of verifiable TRUTH.

    Is it because of a perception that if one attacks the “church” in such way one could damage the name of Scientology or one’s eternity? The truth is that one’s eternity is one’s responsibility and the name of Scientology is already pure mud in the eyes of Joe Public.

    I know my voice is just a small one amongst so many of you on this blog, but again, my long term observation tells me that this PR battle is not getting very close to what is required: David Miscavige brought to justice for: Kidnapping, Assault and battery, Human Trafficking and most important, Fraud (by selling products he never delivers) plus EVADING TAXES by making his Money Making Organization POSE as a tax exempt religion.

    Why, with so many live witnesses and so much evidence of his breaking the law there has been no attempt to form a class action lawsuit against Miscavige’s organization? Why is it that individuals are not contacting their local authorities and filing criminal charges against David Miscavige?
    Some say Mark and Mike will not follow that path because of
    “mutual out-ruds” with Miscavige. Personally I don’t believe that to be the case because everything I have seen on this blog rings true to me.

    And that is my question to all of you who post here. WHY? Isn’t it time to get the criminal head of Corporate Scientology and his minions to face the criminal charges they must be charged with, based on the law of the United States of America and other countries?

    And to Michael Fairman, I say to you what I have always believed: Scientology works and it is UNKILLABLE. But we must do our best to defend it against those who want to kill it, i.e. David Miscavige and his band of law braking followers.

    Alex C

  155. wh,

  156. One cannot look at that photograph without bursting into a smile. A beautiful theta picture of some powerful people that are having FUN.

    Well done to all.

  157. Alex,

    The short, and somewhat unsatisfactory answer is that in the United States “justice” is difficult to obtain through criminal justice procedures, especially when the crimes are hidden behind a First Amendment shield. ANd when you have a lot of money you can buy a lot of protection (see how many Wall St criminals have been prosecuted). Same in the civil justice system — though even more the case of “he who has the most money wins.”

    But don’t take this answer to mean that nothing can ever be done. It certainly can. And there is an inevitability to the ultimate outcome as sooner or later, whether through legal action or PR (and the ultimate result of that is a continuous erosion of internal support and an emboldening of external forces which at some point see the once formidable enemy and so no longer so formidable).

    The inevitable end is coming. It never seems fast enough. But the walls are crumbling and the tide is inexorably rolling in to swamp the sandcastles of corruption of the RCS.

  158. That Frankl quote is sublime!

  159. For Joy and MIchael Fariman, for Ingrid Smith, for Marty and Mosey, for every one here who counts it as their own personal joy to see others bloom.
    From all I know extensively about L Ron Hubbard, the tools he contributed clearly evidence he would love this too. Cheers and Love!

  160. Sam -I love the ginormous wave of theta!!!

  161. Sam,
    Everytime I try the dang line disappears.

  162. Mike,

    “Treasure of the Sierra Madres” was one of my favorites growing up. It was THE favorite of my brother. This was before the days of the DVR or even the VCR, and he would keep a close eye on TV guide for re-runs. He had all the lines down. Of course, everybody knows “We don’t need no steenking badges!” and that line has been paraphrased again and again, especially in recent times since the so-called “PATRIOT” act, as in “We don’t need no steenking warrant!”

    Mike, you mentioned, in your blog entry, discussions about freedom. To me, the question is how to live free in an unfree world. Along those lines, there is this fellow up in Canada whom I greatly admire, Robert Arthur Menard. To put it in Scientological terms, he has gotten the “as isness” of the mechanics of enslavement as far as modern society goes. Here are links to two of his videos. If you go thru them 10x it is time well spent. The videos are easy to understand but the concepts might be totally new to you, and totally mind blowing.


  163. Li'll bit of stuff

    WH—–Such immense POWER in simplicity!

  164. Li'll bit of stuff


    ( Damn this propensity to F%@*## Alter-is EVERYTHING!)

    OK Then, MICHAEL,let’s try this again, (YOUR WAY!!!}

    OnceUponaTime ? (There! Gotcha! )

    Just want to say; ” WORDSMITHEXTRAORDINARY ” OKAY?

    AnExtraOrdinarilyMinuteAmountOfSubstance ! (DAMN!!!)

  165. Li'll bit of stuff

    Eric —– BULLSEYE ! —– Thanks!

    Li’ll bit

  166. Li'll bit of stuff

    Sam— “.that fellow”….. was right!!

  167. Li'll bit of stuff

    Mike —Thanks for the “Eagle’s Eye View”

    It’s also clear the “crumbling” (and cracks & fissures)
    are being caused INTERNALLY, by the inability of
    David Madamage to restrain his compulsion to DESTROY,everyone and everything within his reach,
    which is now,thankfully shrinking FAST!!!!!!!!

    Just another (yawn!) CON-MAN getting his desserts

  168. Michael,

    Thank you for your courage and honesty. For me, it was the accumulated “enforced everything” especially on the training side making the runway forever longer to getting back to real training that pushed me to a point, I couldn’t force myself to read another word of LRH. I couldn’t do the Basics. I tried and tried but, it pained me so much, I had to stop. Scientology should be self determined and FUN! You have inspired me! I thank you very much for that! 🙂

  169. Tory Christman

    You’re so welcome, Rachel 🙂 I hope someday to meet you.
    I feel like you’re part of my family, due to “Dr. Denk” ..who as I’ve said, saved my life twice, at least, if not for 28 years!
    Blessings to you, this Holidays. I found if you keep your attention on ALL that you and Gene did have together, and celebrate *that*, it will help you hopefully. 🙂 Great love, Tory/Magoo

  170. Tory Christman

    You are MOST welcome! I hope to see you again, soon.
    Meantime: Happy Holidays to you, and ALL here 🙂
    PS: Glad you liked the song. Me too. 🙂

  171. Tory Christman

    I think it’s VERY important for many people that you clarify
    a few things. C of $ declares many, many people (including Marty and Mike) “SP’s”. Are they? That’s merely a label created to STOP people from talking to people C of $ doesn’t want them to talk to: Period.

    Of course there are *some* real SPs, and for sure they cannot be auditors, for reasons you state. I just think it’s important that this distinction is made, as per what you’ve said, None of we who have been declared “SP” can audit, and are only implanters. True? Well, C of $ would LIKE people to believe that.
    Nuttin could be farther from the truth.
    Love to ALL 🙂 TLC

  172. Li'll bit of stuff


    Reading thru’ this abundant Theta Comm, has brought

    Here we ALL are in a ” GLOBAL PLAYGROUND ” free
    and able to laugh again ( sorry,trapped trolls ) just
    BECAUSE we ARE FREE to learn, know,experience,
    explore and come together, lob mud at each other,
    get up to tricks, whatever,just for the ” FUN OF IT!!”

    ME BE A PART OF THIS !! Luv y’all Li’ll bit

  173. Li'll bit of stuff

    Ingrid (hope this isn’t getting “boring?”)

    Another “cog” (an oldie!) A Stranger is just a FRIEND
    You HAVEN’T met YET! —- So ” Hello Stranger”

    Hoppity, hoppity, skip, thru’ THE PLAYGROUND–Li’ll bit

  174. Great post, wh

    “Sore we toss on fortune’s tide;
    Master, bid the waves subside!”
    Prayer of Boethius

  175. Tory

    Yes… Of course you are absolutely right.

    I was assuming Joe was talking about “clinical SPs” , not “political SPs”.
    Perhaps this will help clear things up….

    What I call a “clinical SP” is the person described in Scientology Technical issues as a “Suppressive Person”. In common parlance they would mostly equate to a “sociopath”.

    What I call a “political SP” is simply someone that has been assigned that label, either “officially of unofficially”, by some “church entity”. Normally that entity would be HCO, or the Ethics and Justice portion of Scientology Organizations. The assignment of the label SP, by an ethics entity, (or anybody else) no more makes someone a “true SP” than a similar assignment would make someone a “true OT”.

    In all my 40+ years as a Scientologist I can recall actually personally meeting only one person I would call a “true” or “Clinical SP”. I have not counted David Miscavige here as I have never personally met him, but there is every indication that he is a “true SP”.

    I would have to guess that probably about 98% of those who have been declared “suppressive persons” (SPs) by “the church of David Miscavige’s Scientology”, and even before that, are not even close to being true SPs.

    I consider that it was a very poor idea of L. Ron Hubbard’s to use the same word to describe two hugely different things. It has caused untold confusion, wrong indication, out PR, and misunderstandings.

    I hope this clears up any confusions that anyone may have had regarding my statement above.

    Eric S

  176. Michael,
    I just arrived here in CC and I completely duplicate your thoughts every time I’m here. A matter of fact, I decided to bring my 73 year old mom to experience what we all have. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  177. Michael Fairman

    Yes Mosey told me you were coming. It’s wonderful what your mother is about to experience. I look forward to seeing your smiling faces very soon

  178. Michael,
    Thank you for another look into your life. I love reading your writings, it makes me feel as if I were there with you. What you said, “But life has the continuing and annoying habit of asking us to confront it” is so true. The longer you put off confronting those things the worse you feel. It is so much better to deal with things and I am happy that you can do that again with someone you trust. Marty and Mosey are amazing people.

  179. Pingback: Michael Fairman Sues his Chiropractor — in Part to Legitimize the Independent … | Chiropractic San Diego

  180. Hi Eric,

    You are right I was talking Clinical.

    I don’t believe a SP could be an auditor, they would stick out like a sore thumb, if they could even get involve. If anyone really thought this through it would be impossible for most indies to be SP’s since many were auditors in good standing.

    I, like you, I have met only one person I would consider a clinical SP, I suspected him because of prior bizarre behavior, the final act that put him over the edge, he tripped and spilled the spaghetti his mother made for us for dinner on the floor, then proceeded to call her every name in the book for putting it in that pan… it truly was crazy…

  181. Get drunk on life, there’s nothing else.

    Chapeau Mr. Fairman Chapeau.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s