Another OT VIII Has Seen The Truth Revealed

This is the story of how Halina Cirillo fell in and out of love with the Church of Scientology.

A bit of background about myself.  I was in Scientology for 40 years, on staff in Toronto through most of the 70s.   My original post was Director of Processing which I held for 3 years and was then recruited into the Guardian’s Office and held the post of  DG PR CAN.  As D of P I had 18 auditors in the HGC and our well done auditing hours at that time have never been matched since.  I left the GO in disgust in the late 70s after being shown confidential session data about my brother.  Then I became a public Scientologist, very active in the Church.  I am OT VIII, mid St Hill Special Briefing Course and am IAS “Patron with Honours.”  I have been successful enough in my business career to have been able to donate in excess of half a million dollars between the Bridge and other Scientology campaigns.

I resigned from the Church of Scientology on June 1, 2011 while I was still in good standing.

My adventure in Scientology began in the winter of 1971 when I witnessed a startling change in my brother within two months of his becoming a Scientologist.  He literally turned his life around.  This prompted me to visit the Toronto Org.   I threw myself into Scientology wholeheartedly.  I observed and experienced Scientology working fantastically well in the 70s but I started to notice things changing in regards to the application of the technology in the late 80s.  The biggest change I saw then was that the freedom of how to apply the tech, including personal ethics conditions, was no longer my choice – instead, the Church began to more and more dictate what tech to apply and when and how to apply it.

The following major incidents helped open my eyes as to the real state of affairs in today’s Church of Scientology:

1.    In 1989 I was told that three Toronto public Scientology opinion leaders wrote 300 reports about me which, based on what I was told, I considered to be mainly false and misleadingThe then CO WISE CAN (Mary Ann Frith) got involved and, based on these false reports, CSWed the International Justice Chief in an attempt to have me declared without a Committee of Evidence.  A non enturbulation order was issued on me. When I learned of these reports (none of which were shown to me) I immediately flew to AOSHUK in England to get any necessary handling.  I was security checked and plant checked and nothing of significance came up.  I did an ethics program and returned to Toronto hoping and expecting this would remedy the situation. Unfortunately, it did not.

In a last ditch effort to handle this insanity I compiled a comprehensive rebuttal document which I forwarded to ED Int requesting a Committee of Evidence at Flag.  This was granted.  The Committee of Evidence was held in Toronto several years later.

I was ordered to more security checking at Flag and had to do a major, punitive ethics cycle.  My Flag auditor doing the security checking was dumbfounded that I had been ordered to do this again.  Nevertheless, I completed all the recommendations of the Committee of Evidence.  Even after doing all this it took me well over a year to get the non enturbulation order lifted.

The then CO OSA CAN (Janet Laveau) told me years later that these three people intentionally planned a campaign to get me declared.  To my knowledge none of these individuals were corrected.

The lesson I learned from this was that my Church, supposedly operating on truth, does not always practice what it preaches

2.  When I first began auditing on OTVII in 1994, the required 6 months checks were very short (3-4 days).  After the Golden Age of Tech for OTs came out (1996) things changed.  I couldn’t understand why security checking became more pronounced the higher I went up the Bridge.  I previously never had any objection or resistance to doing appropriate ethics cycles which resulted in release of charge.  After 1996 the 6 months checks consisted mainly of security checks laced with a presumption that one was really out ethics.  Despite having no real difficulty with my Solo auditing, the continuous security checking brought about a tremendous degree of introversion.  I couldn’t count the number of times I red tagged as a result of the security checking.

Part of the introversion was that for some time I thought this was just me, however, I later gradually found out from others on OT VII that they were encountering similar difficulties.

To complete OT VII is a humongous cycle.  I finally did so in 2005.  Before being allowed on the Freewinds to do OT VIII the Freewinds insisted I had to be security checked at Flag again.  This introduction for the first time to the Freewinds didn’t leave me with a warm, fuzzy feeling.  It didn’t get warmer and fuzzier.  I arrived on the Freewinds expecting that the summit of Scientology service delivery would epitomize the greatest amount of ARC anywhere.  Instead, I couldn’t believe the bad control I experienced.

Everything was micro managed to the hilt.  For example, I had some difficulty sleeping on the ship and needed to exercise in the evening to be fully sessionable the next day.  In the middle of my workout, all sweaty, I was ordered to the HGC and questioned by the Tech Sec why I wasn’t in session at 8 pm.  I never felt less free in my whole life and couldn’t wait to finish the service.  When I did finish OT VIII the examiner missed my FN and didn’t call it.  I was devastated.  Later on, she called me back and told me she missed it.  I was never so glad to leave.

The lesson learned here was that there is a tremendous dichotomy existing in corporate Scientology today.  For example, LRH says communication is the universal solvent but, in my opinion and experience, the Church prohibits free communication in many ways.  Corporate Scientology exerts stifling control over its parishioners – by the time one gets on OT VII one’s power of choice has been almost wiped out by the introversion they have brought about.

3.  In early 2000 while on OT VII I wrote to RTC requesting help with a cycle inToronto.  I was not satisfied with the way RTC handled the matter so I wrote to Executive Director International (Guillaume Lesevre) about it and I was subsequently dead filed by RTC.  I learned of this on my next 6 months check from an irate Flag MAA who assigned me a lower condition for questioning RTC and I had to do a major ethics cycle.

The lesson learned here was RTC won’t allow you to question them – if you do, you get dead filed.

4.      I was involved in an ongoing business dispute with my now ex partner (an OT VIII).   I decided to end the partnership and in late 2006 I proposed a 50/50 split which would have been a win/win arrangement.  He refused outright.  I tried for the next 18 months to resolve this directly between us.  This whole incident should have been a simple and easily resolved business partnership dispute.  It is the practice in Scientology that Scientologists are expected to use the services of WISE to get business disputes resolved rather than using the courts of law.  The involvement of WISE starting in 2008, and subsequently that of the Church, turned it into an incredibly arduous, punitive and costly cycle for me in particular.   In the Summer of 2008 my ex partner was on the Freewinds and, soon after returning, he advised me that the Freewinds MAA Samantha told him “to take control of the company and be at cause”.

Because of a legal gag order I am unable to go into all the details of what took place.  I can say that a WISE mediation was held in Fall 2008.   The WISE mediator ordered me to continue operating in partnership with my ex partner.  Believe it or not I reluctantly accepted this ruling but, within six months, things predictably fell apart.   WISE were unable to get anything resolved.  The Church now stepped up their participation considerably.  The WISE mediator arranged a meeting between himself, myself and the CO OSA CAN in her office and CO OSA interrogated me in a very unfriendly fashion about this whole situation.  She also asked me to lend money to my ex partner for a full WISE Dispute Resolution assuring me that he would pay me back.  The whole cycle had  become insane and it was now perfectly clear to me that justice would not be forthcoming from the WISE mediation, so I informed CO OSA that I would be suing my ex partner.

I then filed suit.  Two days after he was served (March 2009) we again agreed to attempt WISE mediation.  The mediation resulted in us splitting the files on a 50/50 basis (what I originally proposed in 2006) and each of us operated our business separately.  The WISE INT Enforcement Officer agreed that if I withdrew the suit there would be no further action or repercussions against me by WISE or the Church.

That turned out to be false – within two weeks Samantha, Freewinds MAA, ordered me to report immediately to the Freewinds for security checking under threat of a non enturbulation order and a declare.  I had little choice but to do so.  Once the security check took place I was flabbergasted to discover that a good part of it concerned disagreements with management rather than the business dispute.  I was told by the MAA and the D of P how they salvaged my life and how grateful I should be to give donations to the IAS and the Book campaigns for all they had done for me.  This cycle cost me about $90,000.  My ex partner was never forced to undergo such punitive measures to my knowledge.

Problems arose with the mediated settlement in the spring of 2011 and the WISE mediator failed to take steps necessary to remedy it.  I resigned from the Church on June 1, 2011 and again sued my ex partner on June 3, 2011.  The legal matter was finally settled in January 2012.

Lessons learned from this were that the Church, in my opinion and based on experience, lies about not getting involved in business matters of its parishioners, and that neither WISE nor the Church properly follow their own Justice policies.


I have experienced many great wins and life changing cognitions in Scientology.  But I have also realized that I have been the recipient of numerous and continuing subtle but destructive forms of indoctrination which combined into a highly effective form of mind control.  The net effect of this is a being with reduced self determinism with less control over his/her own life, and who blindly follows any and all direction coming from the Church.

It is well known that the only way to truly control people is to lie to them.  I have observed that the Church of Scientology is engaging in the use of lies on a wholesale basis for the purposes of controlling their parishioners.  I can’t believe now that I bought the Church line that it is unethical to read anything except LRH or to engage in activities other than those directly supporting Scientology (as stated by the Freewinds C/S).  I was truly shocked to recognize the diabolical mixture of good and evil that today’s Church of Scientology consists of.

I now understand why a self determined being such as myself would be so receptive to mind control practices as to blindly follow non survival and unjustifiable Church orders and mistreatment.  It is incredible to me now how long it took me to really wake up from my super-indoctrinated and somnambulistic state.

I can no longer be part of the Church of Scientology.  I now consider myself to be an Independent Scientologist.  My life has never been happier nor more stress free than since I left the Church.

If you wish to communicate with me directly my secure email address is:

I want to thank Marty for his courage and for all he does to provide such a helpful and enlightening forum. I also wish to say how much I appreciate the contributions of Mike and all the other incredible beings active on this blog.

Halina Cirillo

181 responses to “Another OT VIII Has Seen The Truth Revealed

  1. ThetaPotata

    Halina, thank you for sharing your story on this Blog. Wow.. that fact that you got through OT 8 under those conditions is a real testament to your perseverance. It still amazes me to hear these stories of how self serving the treatment of parishioners is by the Corporate COS and I hadn’t read much about how WISE can interject in detrimental ways to screw with your business relationships or your ability to negotiate a fair settlement in legal matters. You must be feeling a great deal of relief to be free from ever dealing with such things again. Best of luck to you and your future endeavors .

  2. HannibalTheFirst

    Great story, specifically on WISE. I have similar experiences with them. After several encounters with WISE in the early 1990’s I had the good fortune to recognize how corrupt and incompetent they are and banned them from my lines. WISE tried to cash in on my business without any exchange or reason. It felt like the Mafia was trying to get protection money. So in 1993 I told WISE they have no business in contacting or being in communication with me.
    Early 2000 I had a business dispute with a fellow Scientologist. Being a good Scientologist I contacted JCI and got referred to WISE. In speaking with WISE I found out there is nothing they can really do to resolve the conflict and so I took it to court and resolved it there. That was that for the WISE involvement. Next thing I get daily calls from a WISE representative who tries to collect money (forcing a WISE membership on my LRH unrelated business) from me with no exchange and no reason. After 30 days of threats and harassments they finally realized I was not to be intimidated and they gave up.
    WISE is the worst of the worst I just admire your patience dealing with these crooks for so long.
    Welcome to real freedom.

  3. Gawd. Church/WISE Management activities have become the ne plus ultra of corrupt incompetent meddling while ripping you off while for the “privilege” of being victimized by their crap. A few years ago I was working as an independent contractor for a WISE member company (not providing LRH-based services) and was told (by WISE, not the company) that I had to get my own WISE membership because I was not an employee, but self-employed. I completely ignored this blatant rip off attempt.

  4. Felicitas Foster

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It always helps others as everyone of us has experienced the same or similar. It isn’t decent and ist is inhumane.
    Enjoy your life and your freedom and be happy.

  5. Hannibal, you just got referred to WISE? I was threatened with loss of my Bridge when I wrote to IJC because I was trying to avoid WISE.

  6. Halina, thank you so much for your courage and your story. You will be a formidable ally for LRH and the indy field.

    Wow, Mary Ann Frith. Now there is a name from the past. I had some experience with her years ago. She eventually crashed and burned as an exec, left the Sea Org and moved to Sacramento with her husband. Don’t know what happened to her after that. From the brief conversation I had with her after she left, it sounds as if she was really on a downward spiral before she left the SO. She was a real gung-ho exec at one time. But, I am sure DM’s zombie admin policies got the best of her.

  7. Hi Halina,

    Wow, your story got my blood pumping…the level of injustice is stupefying.

    When I first read the article “Ethics, Justics and the Dynamics” by LRH, I was “Wow, this is the coolest, most spot on thing ever…we can really improve the world with this…”

    But inside the current “church” the subjects of “ethics” and “justice” have been replaced with introversion, threats and extortion. Nothing could be worse.

    Anyway, nice to make your acquaintance and I am sure you will flourish and prosper!


  8. Welcome aboard if you wish, sorry to here that it was like that for you, you just another of many that will stand forward and be seen. Very we done for getting so far in the church an truly sorry for the pain it has brought you. But I a lighter note the tech is here are easy for you to receive and as a being like yourself with great persistence you get the whole cake and candles if you wish to have, don’t stop now you have come so far already. Thank you for story.
    Arc darren may

  9. yvonneschick

    Hello, Halina,

    Thank you for a beautifully written announcement. I know you are one smart cookie and will help many others if they are working thru a personal doubt about the real intentions of the cofs. We managed to dodge the WISE “bullet” for the most part with our business. Yes, we paid some big membership fees but they mostly kept their noses out of our actual business. I’ve known too many people who suffered similar injustice with WISE and/or the church getting involved in business matters. But all of that is behind us now.

    Welcome to the independents. I know you have been “with us” for some time and it is good to see your face and story in public display. You have a lot of influence and it will be felt. May the joy of freedom you are experiencing continue to expand.

  10. Fascinating writeup, Halina. So good to see this!

  11. Bitter Defrocked Apostate

    Amen to that! WISE is a major ripoff and anyone who entrusts their business dealings to them is to be pitied.



    Wow!!! What an incredible contrast between the exquisite humanity displayed by Hy Levy and all the Independent Scientologists involved in the Hy Levy post, as compared to the despicable behaviour to which Halina Cirillo was subjected by the corporate Church of Scientology and W.I.S.E.

    I had a front row seat to many of the happenings that Halina described and what I observed about the shocking performance of the corporate Church and W.I.S.E. played a significant part in helping me to realize “something was rotten in the State of Denmark”. That realization prompted me to investigate further and I will shortly have much more to announce about the outcome in my own case.

    But this post is to say Very Well Done Halina on regaining your Independence and on shining a bright light on the mind control practices of this very destructive cult.

  13. Welcome,Halina. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad you are now out and enjoying the sunshine 🙂

  14. AKA KRoyce.

  15. oldauditor


    Congratulations on breaking away from the mind control operation!

    Life in the Independent field is much like 1970s Scientology. Miracles are happening every day and we are helping people go free while they live their normal lives.

    Come and join the fun. Your help will be appreciated as never before.

    David St Lawrence

  16. Halina,
    Welcome to the Indies, coming out from the C of Injustice and Arbitrariness Inc. Thanks very much for your account of changes within from the 70s to current which makes it very obvious with the changes in management and amount of theta left in Scn Inc and it’s leadership.

  17. Halina, Great write-up! I had one bad experience with WISE trying to handle a dispute- I told the mediator that the person I was dealing with is 1.1-not only did the mediator ignore that ,but favored him !!-I realized this within a couple of hours and I just cut the mediation short as the hourly rate was exorbitant and I could predict where it was going. I-Help and WISE were used to rip people off-no exchange and forget any protection.
    I know of some victims of Samantha, the Freewinds MAA-she is a real DMBOT-She very enthusiastically goes along with the program-she would have done well in runnibg the concentration camps.
    But, here you are on safe grounds-WELCOME!!!!!

  18. Tony Dephillips

    Great write-up Halina!!
    I remember taking to you at the last Indie party. You are an impressive lady.
    It’s funny how the cult tries to make you feel guilty for not “freely donating” to them for the wins you got. They won’t allow a person to apply sound financial policies in their lives. It makes me think of the Science of Survival chapter: Subjects method of handling others. They are definitely in the lower band of domination and nullification. The EP of Solo nots is Cause over life. The only part of life I felt the effect of was the BS coming from the “church”. After resigning, I finally became Cause over them. No lower gradients worked for me either.
    Hope to see you at the next party!!

  19. HannibalTheFirst

    In my case I was no WISE member and the other party was, Per policy you can only sue a Scientologist once you have written to JCI and received a response. That is all. Threatening your bridge or other nonsense is pure arbitrary. So in my case I wrote to JCI and the response said I should try solving it with WISE. So I called the local Charter committee and described the issue at hand. The response I got was I could buy expensive arbitration but that would not solve the issue. So I had written to JCI, gotten a response and per policy was free to act with a law suite which I did and collected.
    Now since this made it visible to some people that I had a business and was not a WISE member the greed awoke to rip me off. So the harassment started. The problem with me is I am rather hardnosed and really understand the “Price of Freedom”. Some people are more mild mannered, but when somebody tries to enforce their will on me or steam roll me into something they usually find that is a losing proposition.
    I generally found the vultures were always pushing the limits and would do what they could get away with. WISE specifically. They take the liberty to do and say and threaten anything that gets them to what they want. They have no moral, no scruple and no ethics at all. It is all covered by the big service fac, that they are the most ethical organization on the planet and ripping people of for the benefit of the church is a good deed. I did curb that attitude with anybody early in the process and as a result they often did not dare to screw with me in a way they did with others.
    In the end they have no power at all. All they can is re-stimulate to get compliance. Once you spot this you took their powers away. It is all in the PTS/SP tech.

  20. Li'll bit of stuff

    Halina, time for celebrations indeed. Freedom to once again
    enjoy the fruits of what LRH provided us with his unique genius.
    Full self determinism and cause over our own lives.

    Congratulations, also for somehow making it through that
    unending series of jumping through hoops in the Circus of
    “the greatest scam on earth” MISCAVOLOGY.

    Marty’s blog, in my own experience of some 8 months now,
    will again allow you to just feel relaxed and fully in charge of
    and “own” Scientology for yourself, instead of feeling “owned”
    by the CO$ and the money obsessed Vulture Culture of DM.

    To be sure, there are great friends to be found & made, right
    here on this blog. You’ll meet the whole spectrum of Scn’gists
    who just flat out make things happen! And usually with ‘sparks’
    of one hue or another and just because we are fully alive.
    No Idle Morgue or it’s robotic minions can ply their trade here.

    In my humble opinion, there is no finer person, to be leading the
    recovery, in the Standard “no frills, no glamour,no bankruptcy ”
    Delivery of LRH Scientology, than Marty Rathbun, right here in
    this cyber home of INDEPENDENT Scientology. Of course, I’m
    biased, Halina —– enthusiastically so !!

    Enjoy your new journey among the young & old, but FREE!

    Calvin B. Duffield Durban, South Africa
    Indie 500 listing no # 301

  21. Richard Royce

    Hi Halina,
    Welcome to Free Scientology! Life is in us to day and we make our tomorrows! We all took whatever it took to wake up and the feeling for freedom and relief was so great when I was sprung that I have no regrets!

  22. TheWidowDenk

    Welcome Halina! We embrace you.

    I signed up for a WISE individual membership after Dr Denk’s departure just in case disputes came up on the resolution of business stuff. At the time I signed up, I requested my name (Denk) not be published on the roster because I wasn’t going to promote in that way.

    No business disputes came up through WISE. Anything that might have been a dispute flapped at Flag, ASI, and perhaps even OSA, and then eventually got back to me, in whole or in part. A very circuitous, ineffective, route.

    Part of the WISE membership was receiving these booklets about a topic which seemed to me to be a revamp of the original LRH policy on the topic. That didn’t sit well with me so, when no actual disputes arose in which WISE could/would participate, I dropped the membership. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.

    Again, so glad you are here Halina. L, Rachel

  23. What a classy write-up from an obviously classy lady. (And thanks for a new word, “somnambulistic” – to do with sleep walking. Great word!)

    Anyway, whew! It’s so good to see good people wake up and step into the sunlight. Isn’t it just like “geting the knowledge that others now have”? (sic).

    Apart from the obvious injustices that are now endemic in the cult (let’s call it what it is), what really strikes me is that those left on staff, especially SO, are absolutely NOT ALLOWED to have any self-determinism, nor apply any good old fashioned co0mmon sense to ANY situation! This now extends right on down to every level, and WISE is possibly the worst offender in that of all. I had a hilarious chat with another UK OT who is effectively out the other day about this. It is all but forbidden to apply any LRH data in the real world. (Could this be because the top man doesn’t actually believe it works?). I mean you literally get hammered for applying LRH tech in the world. Quite hilarious.

  24. “I was truly shocked to recognize the diabolical mixture of good and evil that today’s Church of Scientology consists of.”
    You are absolutely right ! That is the true trap: the diabolical mixture of good and evil ! Because that, the result (for every scientologist still inside the church) is: a condition of Confusion. The remedy ? Just follow the formula: FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE !

    Now, when we understand that, we suddenly are free and self determined again ! 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your story, Halina.

    All the best for you !

  25. Your humble servant


    Thank you for this terrific, detailed account. It is quite a portrait of how things how things have progressively gone more and more wrong in the Church of Scientology.

    “I was truly shocked to recognize the diabolical mixture of good and evil that today’s Church of Scientology consists of.” This resonates with me.

    Scientology, as a philosophy, body of knowledge, and ordered group of practices (it’s auditing technology) is good, wonderful, stupendous, life-changing, sometimes life-saving, and amazing. The Church of Scientology today is despicable, dishonest, deceptive, suppressive, blood-sucking and cruel. Go figure!

  26. David Miscavige and ilk,
    There, you see, despite anything you’ve attempted, any of your alterations of intent of policy, any meddling and corruption of the justice lines, there are those who of us who tenaciously work to see that others get similar gains to ours and have spotted you clearly as the source of suppression across these Dynamics.

    Here is another powerhouse being stepping out and up and we all got just that much richeer.

    There’s lots more coming Dave. They are here already, at every hand.

    Halina Cirillo!

  27. Peter Klein

    Very well done!
    I really got to know you through your non-inturb cycle here in Toronto. My wife and I knew that an injustice had occurred at the time purely based on your character. Whenever the question came up what a Scientologist should be like your name came up. And you have proven it again with your declaration of independence. Excellent write-up.

  28. Hi Halina;

    I started up in Ottawa in June 1972. My connections to the CofS predate that by quite a bit, but there was no Cofs in Ottawa at the time. Many of my friends from Ottawa went to Toronto for training and sessions, so some wise individual decided to start up a Mission of Ottawa, Fred Harris and another whose name escapes me.

    My anniversary is coming up and I’m going to celebrate it!

    I used to do a lot of volunteer work for the GO from ’72 – ’75, mostly under Bryon. My CofS name at the time was Joe Williams, since I was involved in searching and locating hidden sources of enemy lines all across Canada my real name could not be known inside the CofS.

    We most likely crossed paths a lot back then.

    Very happy to see you out in the sunshine.


  29. … oops … close …

  30. I could only say the following regarding WISE:
    1. They violate the Code of Honor
    2. They violate The Code of a Scientologist.
    3. They violate The Code of a WISE Member.
    4. The blatantly practice favoritism.
    5. They do not understand business.
    6. They do not understand the law.
    7. They do not care an iota about justice, nor do they provide affordable justice.

  31. Path of Buddha

    Congratulations on your independence.
    You endured the stress of Scientology and
    You are now really free.

    I completed the original OVIII in 1989.

    May all beings be well and happy!

    George M. White

  32. Halina,
    I wish you well “on the other, the LIGHT side”, away from Co$ and WISE crap! May you doubly enjoy your life!

  33. WOW, Helina!

    Though the church tried their damnedest…YOU… just can’t be suppressed!

    Good on you! Welcome to the Independents!

  34. Can anyone explain to me what Scientology processing is really doing to people that they accept all this manipulation, invalidation and suppression and losing all their money in the process? What are we afraid of actually?

  35. The Oracle

    Helina! Your accomplishments are incredible! You certainly are NOT a downstat! The Church’s main policy has been for some time, “the customer is always wrong”. That is David Miscavige’s ser fac bleeding down the lines.
    Who really gets to be right in Scientology these days? Celebrities and David Miscavige. The celebrities are wrong too according to the staff. They just suppress it. The public are always wrong. Forcing someone who has made it all the way up the bridge to get a sec check every six months is just as wrong as you can make someone. The WISE folk have never run or worked in an outside business for the most part. The LAST people to be telling anyone how to run a business. Yeah yeah it’s all a little bit hokey pokey but anyway, you made it through ! You made it out! Honest people have rights too! You don’t need someone who has been parked off the bridge for over 20 years with PR flaps going from California to Paris leading the way for you!

  36. The Oracle

    That was a good one. “All they can is re-stimulate to get compliance.”
    I was just talking with someone that last night. The last time I visited Flag as a PUBLIC I finished my auditing and was routing out. At the reg, I was told, “The C/S has ordered you to do the pro tr’s course before you can leave the base”. Boy did I go SPLAT! I got going with my twin and after a week someone new comes in mid way through my cycle and I get twinned up with her to get her through too. Now I have two twins to get through! By the time I’m done I circled back to the same reg on my routing out form and he confesses to me the C/S never ordered me to do it. It was a stat push to meet a target for people for pro tr’s. I found out later people in the non interference zone are not even supposed to be doing hard tr’s! He did not bother to reg me or sell me. He just re stimulated me to get compliance. The entire GAOT cycle was the same. David basically invalidated everyone planet wide with their training and they were not sold, they were ordered under threat of loosing certs, to retrain. A planet wide justice action! Ordering auditors to retrain and cancelling certs is a justice action! That sure re stimulated a lot of people! What a mess!
    I think those of us that are standing away from this madness have the ability to do so because, well, we got to a point where we are not re stimulated!

  37. TheWidowDenk

    Great comment Peter! Kudos to Halina!!

  38. Mike Reppen


    Wow this has to rank up there with one of the most bizarre stories I’ve heard of on this blog, and there has been some wild ones. It’s unbelievable how corrupt WISE and the Freewinds have become over the years. It’s also incredible you put up with so many injustice’s all this time. I think you will find this major step you are taking to be a very calming influence for you. It sure did for me. Welcome to the world of sanity.

  39. Dave Stokes (aka Toronto Public)

    Hello, Mike Behan!
    So now we have three ex-Toronto Publics all posting on Marty’s blog.
    You, Halina and me.

    Halina, I second what Mike said so well above.
    Well done.
    Well said.
    You are truly a strong woman.

    I speak now to the several Toronto Org lurkers:
    It is time for the next Toronto Public (or staff) to stand up and speak out.
    Who will it be?

  40. Welcome Halina! With every person who leaves, DM’s cult shrinks. The day will come when there’s nobody left but him.

  41. I want to thank you all for your wonderful comments and well wishes. Each and every one helps to broaden my horizon and that means a lot ot me. I am still a working gal so please forgive me if I don’t reply to each comment individually.

  42. Hi Halina,

    I’d like to ask you some history questions about Toronto’s successful actions, if you would email me,

    In the early 1970s, there were handful of some prosperous stable booming Class 4 orgs, and there’s not been anything like them since.

    I’d love to ask you about the GO Toronto and Canada in those years, and your hindsight views of what went right and wrong, basically, and the internal and external changes that have caused the overall long term decline in Canada (as in all conts). (I think society’s caught up with events internally inside Scientology, and other factors, and I’m sure a couple of new religions scholars would like to interview you also, if you are game.)

    Chuck Beatty
    ex Sea Org, 1975-2003
    412-260-1170 Pittsburgh
    866-XSEAORG toll free

  43. Customer satisfaction survey:
    How did you first learn of the Indies?
    How would you rate your reception by Indies?
    Would you recommend Indies to your friends?
    Do you estimate you will think of the Indies favorably next time you plan an excursion?
    Thank you for taking time to participate!

  44. Oops – means a lot to me

  45. George – Excuse me, but I have never heard of an “original OT VIII”. To my knowledge OT VII was the highest level ever released by LRH. Did you mean OT Seven, and just typed “I” one too many times?

  46. John Michael Finley

    “……irate Flag MAA who assigned me a lower condition for questioning RTC….”
    That has a familiar ring to it. Deadfiled for writing ED INT? That’s a new one for accessing the SO#1 line. I remember spending weeks writing up a thorough RTC Board of Review complete with tabs and index just like a compliance submission(I had it checked by an ex-CMO Int Missionaire and the RTC Off sent it back to my MAA, Lili Braun, with the message, “Will you handle this guy please?” Lili said to me, “I should declare you just for submitting this.”
    Justice……gotta love it!

  47. The same old LDW

    Hi Halina,
    What a great detailed account of time, place, form and event.
    Truth = asisness = freedom.

    Publishing the truth with such detail is so vital.


  48. Tory Christman

    W.I.S.E. ripped off myself, via Survival Strategies, and did a *totally* Non-Standard “ethics handling”. When I wrote it up to WISE, they could have cared less. Same for my now X-husband…thanks to “TRT”who owes him $50,000 per an Arbitration. But hey! You are OUT and FREE, Halina, and I congratulate you on this wonderful action as well as sharing your story, here. Blessings to you, and may the sun shine more and more each day in your life, as well as all here 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  49. TheWidowDenk

    Carcha — Great comment! This totally cracks me up! Rachel

  50. “In my case I was no WISE member and the other party was, Per policy you can only sue a Scientologist once you have written to JCI and received a response. That is all. Threatening your bridge or other nonsense is pure arbitrary. ” ~ HannibalTheFirst

    I agree. It doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t have used it on me though. BTW I wasn’t a member either.

  51. Galactic Commander Lord Odin

    Hello Halina and welcome to the Indie Movement. You are as lovely and full of life as when I first met you in 1974. You and Bob Dobson Smith chained me up to the City Hall steps in Saint John, New Brunswick ( long story folks LOL). I’ve sent you a private message. If others wish to say Hello, write me, Gary Halonen at

  52. “The biggest change I saw then was that the freedom of how to apply the tech, including personal ethics conditions, was no longer my choice – instead, the Church began to more and more dictate what tech to apply and when and how to apply it.”

    The most Basic “Tech” is your feeling.

  53. Ronnie Bell

    Halina, that was a powerful and moving account of your personal journey through the last four decades of Scientology history. Like many others that have been posted here, it recounts the high flying days of the 70’s, when real group ARC and miracles were the order of the day, through the slow and solidifying decline of the 80’s and 90’s, to the unbelievable descent into the lower bands of the Tone Scale today.

    If I hadn’t been there to witness it myself, I would hardly believe that such a thing could have occurred to a movement that was once mankind’s greatest hope for salvation.

    Thankfully, both you and Ron’s work survived that awful death. Here’s to all of us who have stayed loyal to the truth, and have chosen to step away from that fallen, corrupted organization. Onward and upward!

  54. Good write up Halina.

  55. Dear Halina,
    I have known you for a long long time and know what a powerhouse you are. I was there when you went through quite some of your trials and tribulation, or should I say enturbulations, with the church.
    I certainly have my own observations, which I have been composing for some time now. It is a lot to write up and not so easy becasue I do not want to duplicate all the other stuff already posted. I used to post under Walkuere and for some reason the blog does not accept my email anymore….. So I am trying a different e-mail.
    If this works, i will have soemthing else to say…. soon
    This is just a test.

  56. Path of Buddha

    Well. I spent a ton of money for OTVIII and completed it on the Freewinds.
    I have the cancelled checks to prove it.
    You might have heard that Miscavige did some surgery on the OT levels, and that includes OTVII and OTVIII.
    We had a much longer version of OTVIII which included some narratives.
    It was a lot of fun for some of us, and created some problems for others.

    May all beings be well and happy!

    George M. White

  57. This is starting to sound like a WISE bash, so I’ll jump on board!

    Sometime in 2001 when working toward getting onto the next OT level, it was virtually extortion to get me to become a WISE member. After a KR from a WISE CO and more verbal arm twisting I acquiesced just to get rid of him. While a general membership is a small price from my business (yet it adds up over the years) but a huge rip off for what I got – NOTHING!

    Finally after learning the Indy truth over the last several months, I terminated the WISE extortion along with everything else.

  58. Tom Gallagher


    Thanks for your testimonial.

    This gives me both pause and of course hope for a better day, a better world and a better tomorrow.

    Yes! We shall overcome.

  59. Welcome Halina, nice to see you here. Beautiful picture! Love Carol

  60. Captain Bob

    Too funny, but not really—–in this comment above in Halina’s write-up

    Halina states this “When I did finish OT VIII the examiner missed my FN and didn’t call it. I was devastated. Later on, she called me back and told me she missed it. I was never so glad to leave.” This is 2005.
    OK, the examiner missed the F/N. Explain to me how you can miss a 3 swing F/N? Per the COS new rules on F/N’s. Now mind you Halina does not know about this new definition of F/N’s started back in 1996. How can you miss a 3 swings? You can’t, Halina never had 3 swings, but she probably had an F/N.

    So what happens, the examiner or whoever in on the cycle and call her back and say the examiner missed the F/N. WHAT? So what happened is they, whoever was in on the cycle behind the scenes, decided to falsify their own NEW TECH of 3 swing F/N’s. Oh my god.

    But what about all the years on OT7, solo auditing. Are you Halina doing so with the viewpoint of 3 swing F/N to end your solo sessions? And you do not know about the new definition of a F/N?

  61. Hey Halina,

    Good to see you here! Nice write-up.

    I remember the KRs written up on you & Elana Grossi (AOSHUk Tours Reg) very well. I saw them – there were reams of KRs written up and piles of copies being sent to every Tom, Dick & Harry up-lines.

    At the time, I wrote this up to CO OSA and the DSA and also went to England and again wrote it up. Unfortunately, instead of the situation getting corrected, I was told by the DSA Toronto to stop writing up KRs on ‘upstats’. The only reason they were considered upstat was that they regged large amounts thru numerous illegal schemes and the Toronto Org was consistently short of money.

    The people that ran this campaign on you committed some of the most flagrant financial crimes and were the main force behind the bankruptcies and some major lawsuits (refund cycles) in Toronto.

    Hilarious that you should mention Mary Ann Firth … the Toronto CLO did not like her at all and were on a bit of a witch hunt ( searching thru her office while away, etc). One of the little ops run on me was that a rumour was started that I had an out 2D with Mary Ann – unfortunately, I don’t know if I enjoyed myself as I was never there :-). I started investigating and it led to CO CLO – had a nice call from the CO one evening when she found out I knew and was told that I better F-ing back off or she would see to it that I would never get my Bridge. How pleasant 🙂

    Ahh well, lots of great old ‘war stories’ … Toronto was an exciting place – some very good people there. I hope they do as you have done and start to think and act on their own determinism.

    Well done!

    Email anytime.

    Dennis Prunkl

  62. Captain Bob

    I wouldn’t let this stop you from communicating, you said ” It is a lot to write up and not so easy becasue I do not want to duplicate all the other stuff already posted.”

    Duplication is understanding. You don’t have to be original, but just yourself. Afterall, we were all caught up in the SAME trap with the SAME rules.

  63. Thank you for clarifying.

  64. Captain Bob

    “virtually extortion “=====hard sell.

    That’s all they were doing. OK. What does WISE have to do with clearing the planet, or making auditors, or getting people in session to as-is bad things in their lives so as to be more caustive?

  65. The Oracle


  66. The Oracle

    Too funny! What about SMI? I had a friend who bought a Mission Starter Package for 40,000. He went home, bought a building, recruited staff including a class 8 auditor. Six months later he calls me to tell me they have all been sitting around for six months producing nothing because his mission starter package has not arrived! After some queries (I was in the S.O.) I finally managed to get it to him through personal complaints as a S.O. member. He calls me, furious, two months later when his mission starter package arrives. The Mission starter package turned out to be a few boxes of div 6 books. He could have bought them himself eight months earlier! 40,000.00 for a few boxes of div 6 books and the right to have SMI down on your ass barking orders and demanding taxes! This guy was a successful businessman from another country. He was livid! What kind of exchange is that? It has gone from exchange in abundance to beggar tribes ambivalence.

  67. The Oracle

    You would think at least the person who sold it to him would have followed up. You would think for 40,000 a Sea Org Member would have gone down for a ribbon cutting ceremony. Some kind of commendation? Some kind of help and support? Once the 40,000.00 was banked nobody wanted to hear from this guy again. I was in an Org as far from SMI as one could get and I had to go up lines myself to get someone to deliver a few boxes of books they made close to a 40,000.00 profit on! It was like pulling teeth. There was probably no stat for delivering the goods! I think the stat is only G.I. now in every Org up there. You know those “got milk” ads? Someone should photo shop David with a wad of cash around his mouth and underneath “got cash”?

  68. Captain Bob

    ” The Church’s main policy has been for some time, “the customer is always wrong”

    And I might add you as a customer must pay for being wrong. Thus the system always brings in money for The Bridge to Freedom, or DM nowadays.

    What company on earth gets to charge it’s customers for money for correction, and lot’s too. Oh, I forget it’s for a cause. To free mankind. So why not release OT9/10, why not release Super Power since it was intended to be released in 1978?

  69. The Oracle

    The Gross Income stat is supposed to be a reflection of other Org inner workings. When you straight up beg for the money, the Gross Income stat is just a reflection of successful begging. I have a friend who was at Int that told me when the manuscripts came down from Hubbard for the Mission Earth Books they were no where near what was finally published in volume. Did anybody else notice how Mary Sue Hubbard was utterly degraded in those books? Did anybody else notice this idea of running everything on donations put forward in those books? I would some day like to know if David Miscavige had anything to do with the ideas translated in those books.

  70. Halina,
    I love the way you do things! love, your friend, Laura

  71. Halina.

    Hard hitting expose covering salient and important points ~~ fabulous job.
    I read it 2x straight through. Very Very well done.
    Hope to see you at the July 4th re-union.
    Comrade !
    Dict Definition of COMRADE.
    One who has suffered the same Ordeal (s)

    Halina said
    I now understand why a self determined being such as myself would be so receptive to mind control practices as to blindly follow non survival and unjustifiable Church orders and mistreatment. It is incredible to me now how long it took me to really wake up from my super-indoctrinated and somnambulistic state.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS

  72. HannibalTheFirst

    …“The C/S has ordered you to do the pro tr’s course before you can leave the base”.
    That is exactly where the trouble started with me. Something like this prompted a response from me like: “Show me the LRH reference that a C/S can order anybody on such a subject.” or “Please prove to me we time traveled and we are back to feudalism and serfdom.” Off course they could not do either, so I told them to order themselves and let me stay out of it.
    This awful behavior made me rather unpopular with some sea org terminals and got me plenty of knowledge reports, basically complaining about me being unruly and disobedient. But “Oh boy!” did that save me heartache and money in the long run.
    And really, Ron says it right there on page one of Scientology: (The Way to Happiness)
    “…Many want you to believe things just to suit their own ends. What is true is what is true for you. No one has any right to force data on you and command you to believe it or else. If it is not true for you, it isn’t true. Think your own way through things, accept what is true for you, discard the rest. There is nothing unhappier than one who tries to live in a chaos of lies.”
    And that is exactly where the Kool-Aid drinkers and sheeples live: in a chaos of lies.

  73. Captain Bob

    well Halina, you are a free being, in a body, able to be cause and source of your own life. There are rules to follow of course, but you are free for the most part, and you don’t need to be controlled via ethics or rules. And of course you can create any dynamic you wish to create, as none are more important than the other. And you have freed others by your write-up. That’s cool. We all have to as-is Scientology too. Truth is truth from no matter where or how. And you got gains and saw it others as well. And you saw the reverse of it, and you backed out. That’s cool.

  74. Welcome Halina! Yes, we always noticed what a mess WISE was just on their admin blunders! And there was the time they told us we couldn’t have a Scientology staff member working for us. I just said, “You’re asking us to commit religious discrimination which is against the law. If you don’t want her working here, you talk with HER, not us!” Then, since it was somebody’s bright idea arbitrary, they dropped it completely. DUMBasses!
    And the rest of your story confirms what we’ve suspected does happen to the OT VIIs and VIIIs–the introversion and taking over of the person’s power of choice. Thanks for the data.

  75. The WISE terminal who told us to fire our employee was Dan Brown, son of Neil Brown who went to Federal Prison after ripping off lots of Scientologists and a few too many non-Scientologists (people who could complain to the authorities)…

  76. If there was a reward button… I’d press it! GAWD are we getting that Facebooked? lol Anyway, agree with your comments Ronnie and wholeheartedly agree with your stepping away from that draconian scene Helina! Good onya. I know it’s a bitch to think along how long it took, but you can know many of us are (were) in the same boat. Rat bastards.

    YOU are right and have every right to be.

  77. noting my spelling (sorry)… Halina ! Again, good onya girl !!

  78. Welcome, Halina! You’ve done the right thing to stay on Ron’s side and leave the church madhouse.

  79. “When you straight up beg for the money, the Gross Income stat is just a reflection of successful begging.” Oracle

    Straight up and verticle…

  80. As anyone noticed that all the real ass-kicking real OTs of Scientology are on the outside? Welcome Halina!

  81. Halina,

    I love strong women and I have known since I first met you that you are definitely in that camp… I love you for being you.

    You make a huge difference where ever you are.

    Thrilled you are completely out and free.

    Look forward to seeing and being with you again.


  82. Phil de Fontenay

    Hey Halina,

    Loved your write-up! Thank you 🙂


  83. yvonneschick


  84. To Path of Bouddha. You said you did an extendend version of OTVIII in 89. I did OTVIII in 89 and I don’t see what you mean by extended version. Actually any OTVIII I could speak to did the same version than me, which was short, yet we cannot describe details on this blog. But aside the fact that there is 2 other versions of OTVIII on the net (one from 1969 which is looking genuine as original OTVIII and makes very much sens, another from 1980, more fancy, that the church claim to be a forgery), there is this story of new OTVIII being cut in half or maybe another different version of new OTVIIII. God, all this should be once clarified!
    Truth should once be revealed!

  85. My understanding is that there are OT 5,6,7 that are now called “old.” This is a technical degrade. I understood that NOTS was developed to prep the case for the above level. The original 8 was a hefty level, now much cut.

    Is that correct? Anybody?

  86. As far as I am concerned, the six month “refresher” violates two LRH references. “Ethics and the CS” and “Handling with Auditing”. Basically, if the pre OT is in session, he stays in session, and that’s that.

  87. Oddly enough, I have more than once written a cram order to RTC personnel, and asked for a compliance report, which I never did. However, I never got hit for this.

  88. I wonder now how anybody can have a floating needle in the current church or get up the bridge. Once I had to do a confessional correction list on a Sea Org member. Back in 1982. PC sitting in front of me and the needle was stuck. PC not willing to talk to me. Reading the whole list to the PC and no little tick. Then I tried it with basic Scientology. I put away my list and meter and asked the PC „what is going on?“. She then told me that the auditor in session after revealing an overt told her something like she being the worst person on earth full of heavy overts and she is should not be in the Sea Org.
    Some days later I had a student that needed some word clearing. Needle stuck and student not willing to talk. I again asked him about whats going on. He told me that he had been indicated in session an overt. Auditor told him what his overt is. I did a quick two way comm correction.
    While writing this I remembered the following definition out of the technical dictionary:
    „2 . An F/N with bad indicators is an ARC break needle. These include propitiation. It is quite usual that a pc has just mentioned grief when the ARC break needle turns on, or some gloomy idea. A real F/N means the pc is out the top; an ARC break needle means he’s out the bottom. He ceases to mock up, through grief. (HCOB 5 Oct 68)“
    Another quote from the technical dictionary:
    „THETA TRAPS, how can you trap a thetan? By curiosity, by giving him awards and prizes (of an implant), by retractor screens, by mock-ups, by ornate buildings which he will enter unsuspectingly to be electroniced down: by many such means the thetan is reduced from knowing to a colonist, a slave, a MEST body.“

  89. Did anybody else notice how Mary Sue Hubbard was utterly degraded in those books?
    No. Never. What do you mean?

    Did anybody else notice this idea of running everything on donations put forward in those books?
    You must have read another decalogy than me. 🙂

    The one thing similar to DM and money was Madison on Voltar, when he managed to have nearly unlimited amount of money on his bank account.
    But I don’t think that this was written or arranged by DM. I think he wasn’t able to distinguish humor from Scientology. He is living in a Comic-World with Harry Potters, Pirates and … you name it.

    I don’t know how much ghostwriting was nessecery to complete the volumes, but I don’t think that he (DM) took a big part in it. He lacks the virtue.
    I also don’t think that a big part of the volumes had to be ghostwrited. It just was not written in digital form and they needed to compile the data from paper.
    But I wasn’t there.
    I also hope that someone puts additional data to this whole cycle.

    However, it’s true for me, that the only “tech” DM posseses stem from this “red” Volumes.

  90. Hello Halina,
    thank you very much for making a voice.

    WISE ain’t wise anymore.
    I don’t know if this was a good idea in the first place.
    Secularisation of Scientology Materials won’t work without the correct knowledge of some attitudes covered by the spiritual philosophy Scientology.
    Look at DM. He can’t manage to attain any kind of Ethics Presence, because he lacks the understanding of the basic concept of ARC.

    All best to you, Halina!

  91. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    HUGE hug and big smoochy kisses xxxxxxxxxxx

  92. The Oracle

    This may sound weird but after I shared this I was mortified. It felt like I was getting off some huge with hold. There is some guilt by association I picked up for stuff like this. And this huge feeling that I should not be telling people stuff like this. And this is nothing. I am starting to realize the charge that gets built up on a person just for noticing this stuff and then hoping nobody else finds out about it because it’s such a drag. I actually justified it in so many ways. “It was a mistake. People are overloaded. People are desperate.” blah blah I actually made excuses. And it just spilled out like some huge with hold I should not be telling people. It causes a real shift in reclaiming your anchor points. It takes some effort to suppress this stuff. It is a drag and you don’t want to pass it along. You say it doesn’t matter much compared to all the good. You learn to be forgiving and tolerant. Then one day you wake up and ask, “Tolerant for who? The guy who has people imprisoned in a trailer, the guy who beat staff, the guy who dreamed up the I.A.S. , the guy who has generated the worse P.R. for the Church in history, blah blah.” Worse, it makes me realize how many with holds I am supposed to have in being a “good Scientologist”. And there is something very murky about that. It creates a situation of Scientologists having with holds from other Scientologists. And if you do speak up and tell the truth, the Scientologists “In good standing” will actually get mad at you! In the end, “what we expect of Scientologist” includes tons of with holds in the Church of David Miscavige. And if he can’t get it through threats and intimidation, he will get it through lawyers and pay offs. And it is stupid. Because the truth is, not many outside of the Church really cares what is going on there. And how can you feel good about contributing to a lie when you are on the road to truth? That’s a GPM.

  93. Great 2 entries above, Hannibal. I loved reading them so much.

  94. Hi Halina,
    Every success… the future is far greater successful with LRH.

  95. The Code of a WISE member 2012:

    “I promise to hand over money when demanded for no exchange and for spurious or non-existent benefits, except a dandy pin.

    I promise not to actually apply LRH tech in the real world

    I promise to Listen Not Look and especially promise not to ask awkward questions such as why do so many WISE companies fail or end up in serious financial difficulties.

    I promise to acknowledge David Miscavige as the source of everything good in WISE and ignore the fact that neither he nor anyone in RTC has ever run a successful company in their lives.

    I promise to screw my employees as much as I can get away with so I can support the IAS mafia.

    I promise not to secretly wonder what became of Don Drader, Greg Hughes or any other previous WISE Exec who have disappeared. “

  96. TheWidowDenk

    SKM – I have a tiny bit of information which it would be helpful if others would verify.

    Dr Denk read Battlefield Earth upon its release, which I think was 1982. He read Mission Earth while he was with LRH 1984-1986 and I’m pretty sure he said it was in 12 manuscripts. No mention of a ghost writer.

    He read one of the ASI leatherbound releases of early LRH fiction during chemo. Oh, never mind …

  97. TheWidowDenk

    Very nice TO!

  98. Thank you for the warm welcome. An added bonus for me is experiencing and appreciating the unique and intuitive viewpoints of the fine people that post here.

  99. Hi all;

    Something very important has come up and I need to know if there ae any active Indies in the Denver Colorado area. If anyone here knows, or knows someone who may know, please contact me. It is important, and could be quite wonderful.


  100. Hi Halina,
    It’s great to see your picture and post here.
    Great job of documenting the insanity of cofs and not-at-all-Wise.
    Glad you’re standing tall and I look forward to seeing you again at the next get-together!

    Vic K.

  101. Bruce Pratt

    Not weird at all. In fact, I am close to grokking it, if from a different point of view and approach. Welcome to the wake up call that is the rest of your life. To me, it’s like the smell of good, fresh coffee in the morning. I do like coffee.


  102. I never got to do OTVIII in DM’s organization although I had if fully paid for in the “Ship Project” days (late 80s). Aside from the data you mention, several OTVIIIs have revealed the procedures and they are on the net. Oddly enough, there are at least 2 different procedures, each supposedly the official OTVIII. Karen #1 has related that she got a group of OTVIIIs together and – after communicating about what they had actually done on the level – discovered that there were at least 3 different versions.

  103. Ah, the Mission Starter package scam, how I fondly remember…
    When I was in Russia (’95 to ’99) working with SMI I was in Moscow and wanted to find something to give the staff as prizes. I asked the Commanding Office SMI Russia for ideas and he said “Why don’t you give them LRH books?” So, I said great, where will we get the books? and he took me to a room at the OTL (Sea Org Base) and it was filled with books. (all in English!). He said I could take as many as I wanted. I asked where the hell did you get all these books and he explained that they were all Mission Starter Packages. There were about 27 starter packages. Man, that’s a whole lot of books! The room was roughly 15′ x 15′ and it was packed. What had been happening was that back at Flag the “Planetary Dissemination” regges had been getting donations for starter packages, telling people that their hard won cash would help expand Russia. What happened was that the starter packages were created out of English books (in many cases OLDER versions of English Books) and shipped there. These books and materials had ABSOLUTELY NO VALUE to the people in Russia. Earlier, when I was at Flag I helped tag on a reg cycle, at the SMI Office, to sell someone a starter package and heard what the guy was told, how his donation would open Russia, that the people there would be so grateful, that the materials would BE IN RUSSIAN and the like…”the people in Russia are so dedicated to Scientology, they WANT to open Missions, but they can’t open them because they need a sponsor, (and the implication was: and you, you lazy out-ethics scum, you are too chicken to open a mission here in the USA, on your own, but over there, the Russians brave, not scared and PTS like you, so you need to pony up the cash and pay for the package to support someone tougher than you are) and the person at Flag, threatened with having to open up his OWN mission would part with the cash, feeling lucky that he got off the hook so easy.
    You know reminiscing like this, I almost miss it, lying and cheating and extorting…using all of the hard learned tools as registrar…maybe I need to see if I can get a job at Goldman Sachs…
    Anyway, I used the books as prizes for Moscow Mission staff and it was great. Even though they were in English the staff were happy to get any prize…
    But that’s not the end! A few months later I was sent to Japan on a project by SMI. Originally I was being sent there to work on the Shinto Project. I will write more on that later. But I was asked to see if I could discover WHY there were no Missions opened in Japan. At that time there was ONE Class V Org, Tokyo and that was basically it. I started asking and found out that there were more than 50 Mission Starter packages sold in Japan. Most were sold right there, to Japanese people. and ALL of the packages were composed of materials in English (they had their own huge store room with English materials gathering dust). As I dug into this whole thing I discovered that even though there were 50 starter packages bought and paid for already. If a person said he wanted to open a to open a mission he would STILL be required to buy the starter package. . I mean, there were 50 packages paid for, why not use one of those? but no, there was no way that SMI would allow that, because it would be “out exchange” to let the guy have the already paid for starter package with out paying for it…
    Oh, and one more thing, in Russia there were LOTS of people wanting to open a Mission. And so what was done, (in Russia) was that someone, a practical Russian person, created a real starter package for Russia. It consisted of TRAINING! The person wanting to open a Mission would go to Moscow and get TRAINED. Then, they would get maybe 100 Dianetics Books ( in Russian!) and go back home and open the mission. But this was sort of hush hush, because the package cost maybe $1,000. And even though the Planetary Dissem Reggges at Flag KNEW this was happening, they continued to sell the $40,000 versions of the “Russian Starter package (in English).

  104. Tony Dephillips

    I’ll do a thousand if 10 other people in the audience does a thousand in the next 60 seconds!! Lol… That is the sort of stuff we used to do at IAS events and Idle Org events. Boy were we lame!!

  105. yvonneschick

    I have!

  106. TO, you hit the nail dead on. Very well said.

  107. Welcome Halina. I have noticed some of the corruption you experienced with WISE. There is little if any justice to be found there and that will cost you a lot of money and grief.

  108. Rory Medford

    WISE, CCHR, ABLE, IAS and the front group list of names goes on and on and YES they will ALL rip you off and tell you lies just to drain your back account. The biggest offender is the mother church they take ripping off and deception to a whole new level they are on super steroids when it comes to extracting money from people as well as extracting peoples heart and souls. The church is a soulless organization with a bunch of cowards running the show. Their time will come and they will go down like every other bully went down. They are just bad news on every front.

  109. Ms. Cirillo, so nice to meet you. I’ve heard some horror stories about WISE arbitration and ultimately it keeps going back to the almighty dollar – for the Corporate CofS and nobody else. The organization has thrown out LRH and replaced it with he said, she said, hey you, do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that confusion and chaos.
    Very well done on getting up the Bridge and being successful despite this!
    Awesome to see you free from the suppression! Our theta juggernaut just got exponentially bigger!

  110. Welcome, Halina, and thank you for your story. I was stunned by it, and by how I can relate to so many parts of your story, with the atrocities of WISE and the cult, and I barely even started my lower levels.

    The admin tech of LRH is quite workable, and “WISE membership” is nothing more than an embarrassment. Membership is not necessary in order to apply the admin tech. It is, in fact, useless, except to those who are comfortable drinking Kool Aid and fooling themselves. The status seekers, tattling and KRs, backstabbing.. it always reminded me of the Hitler Youth.

    Welcome back to peace of mind.

  111. Path of Buddha

    This is correct.
    The original OT8, which I completed on the Freewinds, was much longer than the current version. In the original OT8, we were treated as qualified auditors. It actually was a lot of fun and I was given freedom by the C/S in order to look for certain manifestations which applied only to me.
    The original OT8 narrative spelled out a broad outline of causation and
    required a lot of word clearing. I think Miscavige got rid of it because he did not understand it.
    I spent a lot of time this winter reviewing the level with friends who were
    in contact with Ron Hubbard in his middle years. I think Miscavige was the wrong person to take possession of the original research into the level.
    In my view, this is the primary reason why no further OT levels have been released. Miscavige cannot understand the purpose of the level so he falls into complex trivia.

    May all beings be well and happy!

  112. one of those who see

    Hi SKM! I’ve posted this song a couple of times before on the blog. But it was a while ago. It’s the perfect Indie song!!! Glad you agree. One of my favorites!!!!!! Never saw this performance with Coldplay. Cool!!!!

  113. TheWidowDenk

    Incredible write-up. Label it “vital data.”

  114. Ziba Feulner

    Bob Grant, I a live in Co. Email me:

  115. TheWidowDenk

    Jim Logan? Are you around?

  116. Ziba Feulner

    Very well done, Halina!!! Looking forward to meet in person one day and chat – having gone up and through OT8 I am sure we have much common reality to share: The good the bad and the ugly :)))

  117. Ronnie Bell

    quote from the technical dictionary:
    THETA TRAPS, how can you trap a thetan? By curiosity, by giving him awards and prizes (of an implant), by retractor screens, by mock-ups, by ornate buildings which he will enter unsuspectingly to be electroniced down: by many such means the thetan is reduced from knowing to a colonist, a slave, a MEST body.“

    Gosh, where have we seen that being dramatized recently?

  118. one of those who see

    Hi Halina,
    Thank you for your story! Many of us did not make it all the way to OTVIII in the Church. My last time at one of the higher orgs, I never even got in session. So, your information is important and it backs up what I thought is probably going on. Miscavige has created the perfect theta trap. Welcome to freedom of thought and communication! And where your wins from Scientology can come into full bloom.

  119. George, what you say makes a lot of sense. Thank you for this data.

  120. Damn! Halina that’s an amazing timeline and story. Congrats on stepping away from the church and regaining your happiness.

  121. Li'll bit of stuff

    Thank you for telling me / us T.O

  122. Ronnie Bell

    Yes, ST, the so-called ‘six month checks’ on OTVII do violate LRH advices. See Greg and Debra Barnes’ video expose about this very subject:

  123. Luis Garcia


    Welcome into the light!

    Thank you for your write-up. You reminded me of my own experiences at the Freewinds and with WISE. I am really glad to have you with us out in the open now.

  124. Li'll bit of stuff

    Thanks for sharing this Rachel. I do understand.

  125. I have. And those that remain under the radar such as myself continue to communicate the truth to those hanging out at the cool aid stand.

    It reminds me of what it was like back in the day when first exposed to LRH and the tech. Then it was using what you learned to spread the word into society. Today it has to be reversed in order to confront the ‘reverse scientology’ being practiced by the kool aid cult.

    So I approach anyone ‘connected’ and apply the A to E steps to the scene only it is run in reverse. (We discussed this a couple of months ago on the phone Steve)

    A) Are you operating on any orders given you by church terminals?
    There are many of these of course:
    -you must attend the event
    -you must donate
    -you must get onto your next level
    -you must do the Pro Trs course before you can leave the base!

    Give them the command:
    “Stop committing present time overts on yourself by willingly acting on someone elses determinism. Do what is true for you and get some case gain.”
    Obviously this is a key step and requires that you have a communication line to put it on in the first place. This may be the only valid point to remain under the radar but it also creates a destabilizing effect on current staff and kool aid public because there is a not-know going on. The current on board public is simply waiting to receive an order as to whether they should communicate to you or not. In other words ….. they are not wanting to look for themselves. Sometimes all you need to say is …… BOOH!!!!! The spirit of play can be a wonderful tool!

    B) Watch for the gradient scale progression on the person making a public announcement. Self first and perhaps alluding to you, then to a friend, then to a group then to the public at large. Ultimately this step must be done as a calculated effort to “expose any conspiracy to suppress Scientology or the preclear …”
    (LRH – refer to page 224 of the blue book Intro to Scn Ethics)

    This info will start with a trickle and turn into a flood as we have generally all experienced!

    B-1) This step requires that all donations made to the church via the out-ethics crush regging tactics ……be ‘paid back’ … this case to the parishoner. (good luck with that as that as it may require some perseverance!)

    The rest of the steps unfold similarly.

  126. My wife and I recently compared notes, we did different processes altogether. Me, early last decade, and her 8 yrs later. That’s two different versions just there.

  127. OMG Ronnie …… got to go clean the coffee off my trousers now. Thanks for the great belly laugh!!!!!!!!! I love your sense of humor!!!!

  128. I know what “hard sell” is – this was EXTORTION. Either become a WISE member or else! Of course in hindsight I should have asked to see green on white!

  129. Great post!! You are making some inroads!! +1

  130. Looks like I got an answer to my earlier stated question. Scientology Inc with DM as headmaster is one big theta trap. But the mere presence of DM does not explain all of it, I’m afraid.

  131. Welcome Halina.

    What a great write up. Aaaahhh, WISE “justice” cycles. They make wog justice look good.

    Glad to have your here.

  132. Your humble servant


    Sounds like you are an AUDITOR. Today, I would expect that if the GAT trained “auditor” couldn’t get any response on a confessional list that the “auditor” or Case Supervisor would route the poor PC to “ethics” to be put in “lower conditions.”

    So, except for your observant handling, those PCs would have simply had their cases further messed up and have been put into apathy or propitiation.

    I agree with you that it seems highly unlikely that ANYONE can make it up the grade chart honestly under conditions of suppression and out tech. I think the only saving grace for the GAT auditors that makes it SEEM like some people are making it is that an ARC Break needle can look like an F/N and be accepted as one, plus it is possible for PCs who are not in session (not interested in own case and willing to talk to the auditor) can fake an “f/n” by “thinking of something else.”

  133. Ronnie Bell


  134. Nice!!!!

  135. another story that I heard recently, i didn’t ask for the exact facts but the story went like this and it’s about only 3-4 years old:

    A succesful bookseller, who had audited himself 100ds of hours with selfanalysis with huge wins, heard from the PES of Org A that he could buy some 1000ds of old SA books they can’t sell anymore for 2000 $. He thought that’s a good deal as SA is SA. He got the ok from Org B to store them in their basement.
    When the truck arrived with the books it wasn’t only the SA’s but all kind of other Items too, booklets(clear mind clear body) etc…about 20 000 items !
    He had to work long time to put them into the basement of Org B.
    Very soon afterwards Org B needed the space and asked him to store the books somewhere else and so he got a problem. Nobody wanted those books and so he had again to work lots of hours to get them out of the basement into containers he had to rent and paid a lot for and then get them to a place with a truck to be destroyed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    He paid about 2000 $ for the books, did a lot of mest work and then paid nearly the same amount again to get them destroyed !

  136. Welcome out here!! The summer is coming!

  137. Yes, I sure am. In a “Fabian” sort of way 🙂

  138. Path of Buddha

    My wife just reminded me I met her on the Freewinds in 1989 and
    that was almost a year after completing OTVIII. Actually, I was on
    the cruise right after the Maiden Voyage in 1988. There were only a few of
    us on the ship at that time. This is the correct time, form, place and event.
    We did a much longer version of OTVIII. I met Miscavige on the
    ship. He recalled all OTVIII’s a few months later. I left Scientology at
    that time.

    George M. White

  139. The Oracle

    Holy F#*&^%G Scam artist! Geeze Christ ANDY! THAT IS MONUMENTAL!

    You just jiggled my memory about something else that happened! At Flag I bumped into a woman who looked wholly enturbulated. When I made an enquiry as to how she was doing she told me a story that was awful! She was an attractive, very feminine and mild mannered woman who seem very dignified but soft spoken. Perhaps between 40 and 50 years old. Someone here may know about this from the west coast. She owned quite a bit of rich farm land in Northern California and she and her sister (who lived in Clearwater) and their spouses had gotten involved in Scientology and were quite wealthy through this farm estate which had passed from the women’s father. The woman’s husband got entangled in a northern California Org and fell into an out 2D with the E.D. of the Org and had funneled quite some part of her estate into the Org. When this became known to the woman she caved in on the treason. She could get no help in Northern California at the Org as the E.D. covered the husband’s crimes and blew her off. She came to Flag to get auditing and for some help in resolving the matter and was treated like
    a pain in the ass as she was not staff, lower on the bridge, and was considered to be getting in the way of all of HER income going into the Org and the E.D. having more power. On top of that, they had made her wrong for becoming a problem and had , through guilt, gotten her to buy four mission starter packages in two weeks.

  140. Path of Buddha

    This might also clarify the situation. When I was on the Freewinds in 1988,there were several individuals who could not complete the level.
    They were totally stuck. I remember that these people were routed onto
    a special review cycle. Later, I learned that the level was basically split into two parts.

    George M. White

  141. Path of Buddha

    I did the OTVIII version that the Church claims to be a forgery.
    If it is a forgery, I could probably by-pass the Statute of Limitations, and
    buy myself a lot of extra luxury in retirement.
    George M. White

  142. tessa, human frailty explains it to me. A person like DM knows how to exploit that, and is 100% dedicated to doing just that.

  143. The Oracle


  144. The Oracle

    That was a GPM moment because I knew if I said anything or complained,
    the woman would probably get hit with a non enturbulation order and probably ordered to buy her way out of it another 250,000 in various donations.

  145. Its funny in the church, when you report some out ethics like this…well, okay, its not really FUNNY, awkward is more apt. Note: Nothing is EVER funny any more in the church.
    Anyway, I recall going back to Flag on my once yearly trip at New Years from Russia. I would stop by the little SMI office out there near the pool and hang out with Linda or Anne-Claire…they were always regging people for the starter packages, not because THEY wanted to, but to comply with some SMI INT order…so I explained to them (I must have been in an evil mood) exactly where the Mission Starter Packages ended up: not being used and in storage somewhere, gathering dust.
    I could see that:
    1. The believed me and knew it was true
    2. The knowledge made them uncomfortable
    3. They knew that it didn’t matter, that they still had to extort the money from the people trying desperately to complete their routing forms and leave the base.
    Like-wise when I returned from Japan, went to SMI and reported that there was more than $2,000,000.00 in unused Mission Starter packages over in some garage in Tokyo. It made everyone uncomfortable, BUT NO ONE WAS GOING TO DO A THING ABOUT IT.
    I was like a “turd in the punchbowl” for bringing it up…if someone reported these out-nnesses today they would probably be sec checked for reporting it!!!

  146. George,
    Thanks for this bit of information. I always suspected it was real – it had that distinct LRH flavor.

  147. Well, Halina, you know what they say “Working is the root of all evil”. 🙂 I am always impressed when a person of your magnitude in life steps out of the church for a breather and to share a good look at the mess today that calls itself the Church of Scientology. I was not surprised to hear from you that the staff in Toronto tried to have you deliberately declared, it is like the norm these days in any org you go to. 🙂 I have not been to Los Angeles to ASHO or the AO since 1980, but guess who called me on the phone today 3 times insisting they need to speak to, none other than the Church of Scientology in Los Angeles, California. My mother and I sat down and talked about it and we concluded that because it is Wednesday there must be some kind of stat push going on in L.A. right now and they just call anybody. Very rude! 🙂 I suggested that the girl that called me please refrain from doing so again. I kind of like my life and the church is no place to end it. 🙂

  148. The Oracle

    Slap my face!

    Miscavige MUST know. How many Mission Starter Packages have been sold over the last 20 years against how many new mission have actually been opened? The difference is scammed income. When I was at Flag it seemed at least two a week were getting sold. That was 20 years ago.

    Slap my face!

  149. TheWidowDenk

    I THOUGHT so! But, it now looks as though Path of Buddha has adequately answered simplethetan’s question. Thanks for being here albeit in a “Fabian” sort of way. L, Rachel

  150. Captain Bob

    agreed. Like me and you and others, THEY got the green on white or dollars. And for what????? For membership in a club. I would rather spend the money in a golf club membership now that I think about it.

  151. Captain Bob

    thank you. truth revealed as I had suspected. What a racket. What a waste of hard earned money by people helping a cause which is BS. ONE big STAT PUSH.

  152. Captain Bob

    DM intent to clear the planet is one big stat push based on lies.

  153. Captain Bob

    it becomes CLEAR that the purpose of the Sec Checks under DM RTC control is to get data, get the goods on you and not for case gain, but to make you wrong and thus declare you or get you to toe the line, once one really looks at those write-ups. And of course the Barnes at the time did not know about the Freezone or Indie movement. They were given no choice- resistance is futile as the Borg say in Star Trek.

  154. TO, the straight up and verticle (vertical) was a 1.1 comment at Miscavige, not you. Just so you know. But I enjoyed your reflection very much.

  155. Thank you Halima for sharing your story. The mind control and squirreling within the CofM never ceases to amaze me. Glad you are out of it and free!

  156. The Bridge was issued following the Class VIII Course standardization of technology, which occurred, I believe, ca. 1968. It was subsequently tweaked a couple of times and the last (LRH) Bridge was issued in the latter half of the 1970’s. It included R6EW and the Clearing Course, NOTs following OT III, and went up to OT VII (fully exterior at will with perceptics; rehabiliation of intention).

    Following LRH’s withdrawal from active management, all kinds of changes were made, R6EW and the Clearing Course were dropped out for those declaring themselves Clear, various OT levels were renumbered.

    An OT VII has real abilitites to be quick, make real the exact consideration for the moment, hold a viewpoint, control a space, extrovert intention with physical effect, create energy (grant beingness), and be naturally causative (gentle, but irresistably persuasive). A really cool being, too. Fun. Exciting. Attractive. It is a natural state for a being. Very smart. Being in a body is a ‘voluntarily abberated’ state to play a game, a mock-up. That’s a quickie description of OT VII abilities, but the viewpoint, the star, the incredibly beautiful gem is the personality of the being; care, and love, morals and ethics, those being the real “OT”. Those who say these abilities do not exist lie.

  157. George – Totally. HCOB’s under the topic “Communication” are very interesting. There’s one very profound statement LRH makes about communication being the clue. One could argue that many auditors use a session and meter as vias, when the real action is the communication. Accomplishment is gettng the comm down so smoothly that the meter ans session are transparent to the PC, and the comm is carefully directed. – Carcha.

  158. Re: above – probably should be “get the exact consideration for the moment” (not “make real” – I meant able to communicate with exact considerations).

  159. The Oracle

    Oh, I got it! 🙂 Thanks!

  160. Hello Halina, I’m so very happy for you that you have seen the real truth revealed. What a fortunate win! Blessings Always.

  161. The Oracle

    Amazing how much TA we got with Halina shifting into the Independent movement. Every person really does count!

  162. Did cross paths with you at the time, and under your real name. Good to see you’ve made it safely out of the false church. Bruce Clark

  163. Just a quick not to Dave: I tried to reply to your email a while back but your hushmail said it was full and rejected the email I sent to you. You have my real email address. Please feel free to write any time. Bruce

  164. Hi Halina, remember you well, but mostly as a pre-staff public. Forgot your maiden name, but remember that you (were the foxy girl who) married Sam. I was an HGC auditor at the time you came in and transitioned on the post of D of P from Helen, nee? Joot. So glad you made it to OT VIII and have since escaped the Miscarriage cult. Bruce Clark

  165. I’m wondering how you complete OT VIII without having a floating tone-arm? And how do you miss that!? Also wondering how it is that all this mind control is perpetrated on beings that are supposed to be so capable and free? OT VII – Cause over Life… what gives?

  166. Carcha,
    communication is the one important thing in auditing. Sample: Student in the academy cannot grasp a paragraph. Hours of wordclearing. I took over and asked the student about any word in this part of the text he did not understand. Method 4. He says word soandso. We clear this one and no full conceptual understanding possible. I ask about a earlier word he did not understand. Bingo. Straight into an implant. Core charge released and go. Without e-meter just communication.
    I miss those times you could help people that easy.

  167. Path of Buddha

    Thanks for the clarification. I now remember doing a cycle in LA called
    OTVII EP which was at one time done after one of the earlier levels.
    It was like a ‘teaser’ or a taste of the upper level.

    George M. White

  168. How could dm ever understand OT 8. He has not even completed ARC SW. He does not have recall.

  169. Thank Carcha, my gut always told me exactly what you just wrote. You have no idea how validating your words are.

  170. It is my distinct honor that you found my words useful. Nice to hear your confirm, too, about what your gut told you.

  171. Nice auditing & C/Sing.

  172. George – LOL! Very nice! Real gutsy. But what do you mean you miss those times you could help people that easy?????? E.g. You just encouraged me to get more courses. – Carcha.

  173. feeling not good ?

  174. Just read Halina’s story. I don’t know what shocked me more…. her story, or fact that CoS runs online advertising to specifically discredit former members. I am kinda embarrassed I didn’t notice this before…. I just saw the AdServer ad for an anti-Headley site (see attached image). Really?… the ‘church’ wastes its money on hate promotion? Anyway, glad Halina is free now.

  175. Hi Mike , its Sonya .I was the basic course sup in Toronto foundatio. 1998-2003 I worked for you at one time. I was asked to choose between Scientology and my mother. the org has lost it . She was declared supressive person with no comm even, no krs. I querried it and and the ethics officer said she sent out a email email from a squirrel group and she is off the rails. I told them regardless I’m not disconnecting from my mom. She is not a sp. I got home that night and told my husband that I had to choose between the church and my mom. He laughed so hard and said hooray ! No more reg cycles .we are free. Now that I’m out I look back and can’t believe how introverted I was.I couldn’t think for my self I always had to think with the tech .when I was on staff it was before the basics came out. I knew the church was retarded after being told to buy the basics again. I didn’t believe it and I didn’t buy them or donate any money because I didn’t feel it was right.

  176. Pingback: Proč se církev bojí internetu | independent beings

  177. Early on in life around 4-5 years I had sufficiently detailed perception – to use the vocabulary any scn would – of a forward-looking time-like where I would be involved with another who last time I talked was OT-4

    At one moment I had what for me was dismissed as Stupid Implant.

    Today I now find why the OT-4 did not respond telepath to my dismissal – it is described on OT-8 like some kind of oh, that is too much. Which it is not, though can go off the rails rather easily. Such is only stuff that should not be so heavily confidential. I am not going to sit here and bad-mouth those who hold IP Rights yet what I read in the posting is all-too-familiar.

    I no-longer accept «suppression and out tech» as any explanation for anything taking it rather that those who wish to do the activity will align for whatever major-purpose may be relevant to the duties and nature of the person – though futures can be changed to some extent there are «what is going to happen» which differs from audit it out ▬ Stupid Implant far-below what I consider normal-operations does not seem to me to be the basis for concern when before ages 13-14 I had already seen those dates that trail over a paragraph.

    This was seen well-before any such HCOB or writings ever were penned by Mr. Hubbard – I dunno who the individual is over whole-track timescales yet recent scientific discoveries show MEST is extensive beyond current popular science ▬ at least 1,000-x as minimum lower bound to start guessing with no known upper-limit.

    IOW – infinite.

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