Category Archives: healing

Jamie’s adventure

Posted on July 15, 2010 by | 226 comments

by Jamie Sorrentini

My name is Jamie Sorrentini Lugli. My parents were on staff at the NY org in the early seventies and were disaffected for about 30 years. I got them back on the bridge when I discovered Scientology on my own in 2006. I also got my sister in around the same time.

I was always extremely close with both my parents. We had a very open communication line and they supported me in everything I did. And my father and I had a very special relationship – closer than most fathers and daughters I know. It was like we were telepathically and emotionally connected. Whenever my parents would fight I was there to listen to him. Whenever my Mom wasn’t around to make dinner, I would make dinner for him. And every night before bed we used to eat chocolate chip cookies together.

Jamie with her father

 

I got out of the church in January with my husband Tiziano. I was on OT Elig for a year and was not being accepted for unusual and invalid reasons. It all started when I refused to buy more Basic books after having already donated 25 libraries, and doing Patron with Honors. It then spiraled out of control when I got in Ethics trouble for buying a motorcycle (with money I “should have donated instead”) Also, as an actress, I played a stripper on a popular network TV show and I was told I was promoting myself as a “porn star” and I was not allowed to play characters below 2.0 on the tone scale. The list of insanity goes on and on but these are just a few highlights. In the end they gave me a program which was to train to Class 4 internship, do the complete Basics book and lectures line-up, redo the PTS/SP course ( because the entertainment industry is a “1.1. industry”) and  to increase my “contributions”.

I was going to request a Board of Review but then I saw the St. Pete Times video interviews with Marty Rathbun and others who had left the church. Suddenly it all made sense and I knew there was no point in trying to fight this any longer. I could not support David Miscavige and his criminal activities anymore.

My mother left the church immediately as soon as she found out the truth about what was happening at the top. My father and sister still remain in the church and of course have disconnected from us. My mother is now seeking a divorce from my father for obvious reasons.

                                                            * *

 On July 2nd  Tiziano and I went to Clearwater for  the Independents’ weekend and had a blast.

Jackson with Jamie and Tiziano

After the inaugural Independent’s Deep Sea Fishing Tournament, Tiziano, Gary Jackson Moorehead and myself decided to swing by the Oak Cove and try to see Flavio, Tiziano’s brother who is an auditor. We knew we wouldn’t be able to “trespass” and go inside the parking lot to get to the actual building, but we thought maybe if we stood on the curb, we would be able to see him getting on the bus to go to dinner.

So we stood outside yelling “FLAVIO FLAVIO!” Security guards were watching us and anyone who recognized us and attempted to communicate were told, “Don’t talk to them. They are declared Suppressives.” We knew there was no way they were going to let Flavio out of that building. As it was, SO members had to run out of the side door and jump onto the bus one at a time, to keep them sheltered from the EVIL SPs that were outside on the street “attacking the church.”

Tiziano and Flavio when they were younger

After about an hour of trying to get Flavio’s attention, we decide to leave and go back to Mike and Christie’s. Since my father lives at 500 Osceola (the apartment building just next door to the Sandcastle) I say to Tiziano, “Let’s drive by there and just see if my father’s scooter is there.” (He drives around on a red scooter because he gave all his money to the church and cannot afford to buy himself a car.) We pull up in our convertible and in that moment I see my father on his red scooter about to exit the parking lot. I tell Tiziano, “Stop the car!” and I jump out and run towards him. I had not planned to even try to talk to him on this trip but when I saw him, it was like something overcame me and I just knew I had to get to him.

Funny thing is, I had been wearing my flip flops every day that we had been in Clearwater, but that morning I had put my running shoes on. I hadn’t felt like wearing them, but something had told me to put them on. I had no idea that I would be sprinting through a parking lot in them, in a desperate attempt to reconnect with my father.

So, I am running towards him, shouting “DAD, DAD!!!” And he turns the scooter around and heads to the opposite side of the parking lot. He’s trying to get away from me! OMG! I can’t believe it. So I break into a full sprint running as fast as I can, yelling for him. I see him park the scooter and take off running around the back of the building. I am in shock, with adrenaline pumping through me. I run through the building and see him come up the back stairs, heading towards a glass door that leads to the lobby. I yell at him, “Dad, don’t you run from me. Don’t do this. I’m your fucking daughter!” As I run down the hallway, I see him open the door and yell at the security guard in a panicked voice, “Lock the door, don’t let her in!” I try to run past the guard but she grabs my arm and stops me. I lose him. I was seconds away.

 In my mind, I just wanted to jump on him and hug him, thinking that once he felt my arms around him he would give up and just hug me back. But I was horrified at his reaction, to have my own father who I was so close with my whole life, who once looked at me with love and affection now looking at me and running from me like I was a murderer chasing him with a gun.

The guard locks the door and won’t let me in. I break into sobs and beg her to let me in to talk to him. I explain that he is my father and that he won’t talk to me because he was told by the church that he is not allowed to have any communication with me. She says she will go talk to him.

In the meantime, Tiziano and Jackon show up and I fill them in. The guard comes back down and says that my father is very upset and that he said he does not want to talk to me and that I need to leave because I am on private property. Jackson explains about disconnection and how all I want to do is see my father and within a few minutes she is crying herself. I keep begging her to let me go up to his apartment door, but she says she can’t allow me to do that. At this point, I think all four of us have tears coming down our cheeks.

Tiziano’s brother disconnected from him, Jackson was torn apart from his wife; we had all felt the pain of the COS-enforced-disconnection. And now this naïve security guard, who could not believe what she had witnessed, knew this pain. It reinforced our individual losses in the shared experience, and it was pretty intense.

                                                                 * *

Isn’t it ironic how Scientology is supposed to teach people how to communicate and help them to be able to confront things yet these “dedicated Scientologists” can do nothing but run ?

It took me a bit to get over the  shock of what transpired. But I know that as bad as I feel about it, he feels worse. I knew that I was upholding my integrity and doing what was right. He can’t say the same. Deep down he knows it’s wrong to abandon his flesh and blood.  And he’s missing out on sharing my milestones, my wins.

soul mates

I am living my life now. The one I want to live, not the one the church thinks I should live. My life is fantastic. I am married to my soul mate. We just bought a house and are creating on our life together. My career is moving forward and I am living my dream.

My father has lost everything he has worked for his whole life- his wife, his daughter, his future. He has given every cent he has to the church. He has 80,000 dollars of debt, he drives a scooter because he can’t afford to buy a car and even worse, he is living alone after 34 years of marriage. It makes me wonder, how far will one go to keep making themselves right?

jamie@jamiesorrentini.com

Dad, if you are listening, I love you and I am here for you as always. You will always be a part of my life and whenever you choose to come back to me I will have your glass of milk and some chocolate chip cookies ready to share with you like the good old days.

226 Comments

Posted in disconnection, ethics, FLAG, healing, independents, regging, the future

Annual Report

Posted on July 3, 2010 by | 268 comments

Created, written and posted by Just Me:

Marty,

As you know, months ago I started keeping blog stats and offering observations about the social media phenomenon I saw your blog becoming. Yesterday, on the first anniversary of your first post, I sat down and recalled some of the events we’ve all shared here. This very special Fourth of July weekend, please take time to look back on this past year to appreciate and enjoy what you’ve accomplished. Here are some highlights of Year One of ‘Moving on Up a Little Higher.’

1 July – Following the publication of the St. Pete Times’ ‘Truth Rundown, Part One,’ Marty created his blog, ‘Moving on Up a Little Higher.’ He posted to it five times in July. A few people noticed and honored the blog with a total of 48 comments.

2 August – Marty got serious in August and put up 25 posts. The St. Pete Times published ‘Truth Rundown, Part Two.’ Comments that month were just shy of 600. It looked like his blog might have some legs.

3 September – In September Tom Cruise’s lawyer wrote a letter, and Marty wrote one back. Familiar names and faces began to arrive here. Total comments to the blog that month neared 1,000. Marty’s post entitled ‘Mike Rinder’ was the first post to earn 100+ comments.

4 October – Marty soldiered on. He posted Paul Haggis’s resignation letter. ‘Nightline’ did its own series on the St. Pete Times’ ‘Truth Rundown’ series. Site traffic spiked. That month four posts earned 100+ comments, and total comments that month doubled to almost 2,000.

5 November – In November ‘Truth Rundown, Part Three’ was published. More Scientologists declared their independence, and a single post on Marty’s blog finally earned 200+ comments.

6 December – Mike, Marty and Mosey went to London. A good time was had by all. Then they came home for Christmas, and just before New Year’s all hell broke loose. The blog was hacked and down for a week. Isn’t life exciting?

7 January – Marty got the blog back up, posting 31 times in January. Total visitor comments that month hit 3,280, an 86% increase from the previous monthly high. Two posts earned 200+ comments, and 14 others earned 100+. And these don’t even count the ones lost when the blog went down. For the first time, average comments/day exceeded 100.

8 February – The short Valentine’s month managed to generate even more comments. Two posts (one by Mike, one by Marty) earned 300+ comments, four earned 200+, and 10 earned 100+. More about life at Int was revealed, harassment was discussed, Independents were honored, and Mosey had a birthday.

9 March – March winds blew in with the Sunday New York Times front-page article about the Church’s crimes against families (with a link to the blog) and Christie’s ‘Today Show’ appearance. We discussed the Second Dynamic, and Marty declared he was no angel (although not in the same post). March blew out like a lion in the middle of the Anderson Cooper 360 week-long series.

10 April – April saw the Church’s escalating over-reactions to Independents’ calls for justice. Marty called for DM to ‘Free Heber.’ Mike and friends tried to visit his son at Flag. Haydn called for an end to DM’s dictatorship. In response, DM sent a gang to assault Mike in a parking lot. By month’s end, JB came home, followed by 20 little friends and assorted PIs. Down at the blog, monthly comments rose 43% to another all-time high of 4,500. Mike’s April post detailing the parking lot encounter is still the all-time high-response post with nearly 800 comments.

11 May – In May the blog declared the church dead, called for IAS’s dissolution, described the Freewinds below-decks gulag, and cheered for a new long life for Scientology. Friends now gone were mourned and honored. Marty posted his first video briefing. JB teased his PIs. We learned that DM ridiculed Tom Cruise’s confidences by reading his session worksheets to cronies while drinking scotch. Again, site traffic soared. Four blog posts earned 300+ comments, ten earned 200+ and twelve earned 100+. Total comments in May totaled 5,900, up 30% over April.

12 June – Last month saw posts about children, family, community and reverse scientology. Tiziano and Jamie played games in the Hollywood Hills. Mosey blew off OSA-bots, and Marty loved his pride and joy. Rap and cowboy music rang in idle and idol orgs, while new independents showed up and said, ‘Boo!’ JB and Marty went a’traveling out West. Then Karen, Heber’s ex, came out and ended Year One with a ‘Hell, no!’ bang. Total comments in June were again highest ever at over 6,500.

Marty, in one year you have shouted out to thousands and heard many of them shout back. You, Mike and your friends have written and published 288 blog posts, elicited over 33,000 comments and invited 1.6 million site visits. You’ve attracted many lurkers—frightened, curious, critics, anons, bashers and probably DM, too. This is no longer a blog—as they say on the Web, with these metrics you’ve created an internet media outlet.

But much more importantly, this blog is a community we all built, we souls who are finding each other again, rekindling younger dreams, listening to each other, learning tolerance and respect, finding our respective paths. No one can predict exactly what will happen next, but I am betting it will be restorative and fascinating and fun. Thank you for this wonderful game!

268 Comments

Posted in acknowledgments, healing, independents, the future

The Eighth Dynamic

Posted on July 2, 2010 by | 100 comments

A casual suggestion.

1) Listen to this song (maybe a couple of times):

Nas, with two of Bob Marley’s sons, Damian and Stephen

[Chorus – Damian and Stephen Marley]
Jah told you in his own words
And I’ll see you through
To guide you through this cold world
And I’ll see you through

Jah told you in his own words
And I’ll see you through
To guide you through this cold world
And I’ll see you through

[Verse 1 – Nas]
Two steps away from death, a vest and a holster
I detest detectives arresting us over
Weapons possession, they was checking the Rover
Inspecting the tattoos on my neck and my shoulder
How many times I’m one of six coffin-holders
Or sitting with goons in a visiting room
Flip it, I could’ve been you
Behind state walls bidding
These are the things that a G pray for, acquit us
A little stash in the safe or a little shorty to wait for
Or a shorty to take the weight for him
What really did I escape from?
Thought I saw God’s face on the design on my vintage Claiborne
Swear I see em every day in the bus or the train
Or the billboards out there that hang tall
I still give thanks for him, have faith for him
No matter what his name’s called

[Chorus – Damian and Stephen Marley]

[Verse 2 – Damian Marley]
Hey can you think of a colour that you’ve never seen?
Can you reminisce on places you’ve never been?
Well is many are called
But them never deemed
Worthy for the cause
Cause them never clean
Help who help themselves
Jah nuh raffle dream
That’s why me chummy with Jah Jah
Like a Cherubim
Keep us strong through the winter like an Evergreen
And all of us are more connected than it ever seems
All things are related and creation is a package
Generate together and we increase the wattage
A how them a go manage?
Tell Babylon them can’t do Rasta damage
Nor stop we through the passage
Jah did make a promise, God is always honest
Always keep his word, don’t care what the plan is
Don’t be astonished
Stumbling blocks vanish
One day the meek gonna live inna di palace, Woah!

[Chorus – Damian and Stephen Marley]

[Verse 3 – Nas]
Some ask me if I feel the zionists are real
And in my songs do I plan to expose and reveal
Word to the curb that’s under these chrome wheels
My homies is only ones I’m taking care of
But severe reality starts to become more clear
And these know-it-all rappers have become more weird
As if they were superior and fans are inferior
How I balance between the streets and the theories of
Collegiate literature, I hold mirrors up
Give combinations of pain, joy, fear, and love
Through my perspective I can see Jah reflection
In the highest definition getting high with my brethren
Could’ve asked us why Africans dying from circumcision
They lack proper surgeons, suffer malnutrition
Underestimate the wealth of their own wisdom
It’s like it’s been exchanged for this penicillin

[Chorus – Damian and Stephen Marley]

2) Take a long walk, looking about for any signs of the eighth dynamic along the way.

Chances are you have just done far more for your eighth dynamic than you were ever permitted to do behind the wall.

100 Comments

Posted in acknowledgments, healing, independents, the future, Uncategorized

An Open Letter to Office of Special Affairs (OSA)

Posted on June 24, 2010 by | 317 comments

 

This letter is directed to OSA executives and staff – at Int, Cont and DSA levels –  for a number of reasons.

You all are most familiar with Il Dulce’s penchant for stage managing himself into stardom on the backs of others’ efforts.

You all are more in tune with the outside world and what is really going on than anyone else in the management structure of the church. With that privilege comes responsibility.

You all have to work for a living while the other members of management do nothing but Reg, stat push, or wither in confinement.  Il Dulce has confined leaders of your network –  Heber and Kurt Weiland  – and would do the same to you in a heartbeat if his future cushy survival did not depend on your network. You know the pattern: when life is hot for the little dictator, he puts on the charm with those upon whom his survival depends. The moment the heat is off, you all go back to being a “pack of ex-GO, Mary Sue infested, criminal scum….”

 You also try to operate on the Data Series and the LRH intelligence orders the Data Series is based on. Of any one in the church you can spot a situation, a why and a who. For this reason there are no more informed staff than you on where this train is headed. You are aware that we have gone past the tipping point.

Because it is beyond doubt who is fighting to save the legacy of LRH (the technology of Scientology) and who is dead set on usurping it, sundering it, and replacing it with his own, any support you give Il Dulce is an overt against LRH and every man, woman and child on this planet.

Do not (as DM loves to accuse others but does incessantly himself) buy your own bullshit.  We know the hype that is bandied about there concerning us. Let us assure you that what you are being told is possible as to our fates, in fact,  is a virtual fait accompli with respect to  Miscavige.    

You know for a fact we are completely capable of keeping anyone of you under the radar should you decide to do the right thing. As we assume you are by now aware, every spotting of JB since he left was deliberately set up. When you lose him for weeks on end, that is by design. If you don’t realize that, then perhaps you all have become far more duped than we even imagined. We – as DM likes to fantasize about his own N.W.s – are virtually everywhere.

Our timing is not arbitrary. We are rapidly approaching the point where continued support of Il Duce takes on far graver implications for you.  That is not because we are going to do anything about it. It is because overts from this point forward will be very difficult to wash your hands of.  And that is because, by this time – setting aside the hard core justifications that keep you running – you know in your heart of hearts who are the friends of L. Ron Hubbard and his legacy.

There have been recent allusions to the fact that things are going to get uglier over the next few months. That is because we know the pressure you are under already, and can predict just how insane they will become knowing what is in store for the future.  That right there is telling; wouldn’t it be nice to be able to predict the future, to be able to exercise a causation role in the way it unfolds?  We are making the future. Miscavige is desperately clinging to the past.

Because of events that will happen over the next few weeks, now is the time to honestly complete your doubt formula. After approximately mid-July it will become increasingly difficult for you to find your way to the just, honest, and right side of history.  After that date, the insane orders you have received to date will look like models of sanity by comparison.  And your complicity will become your liability.

If you consider this message a tad too explicit and in-your-face, realize it is done primarily to let you know that you are not alone. Perhaps this metaphorical work of art will help you follow:

Remember: You’re not alone.

Marty and Mike

317 Comments

Posted in ethics, harassment, healing, independents, miscavige crimes, miscavige lawyers, office of special affairs, propaganda, the future

Hero

Posted on June 21, 2010 by | 82 comments

Hey, some pretty magical stuff is happening here. Cowboy Poet posted a beautiful poem on Saturday – a special one for Father’s Day. DFB, a regular here, took just a couple of hours on Father’s Day, took the Cowboy’s words and put them to music.  Here it is. Damn, you all are good.

Lyrics:

The Hero

I hope you do exceed your expectations
With the power to achieve,
your aims and goals.
That you’ll always reach,
whatever you go for.

Cause I believe in you
I DO believe in YOU.
My faith in you will always last.
I’m the father with a hero,
on my lap.

I know you’ll never leave a comrade,
when he’s down.
That your word will last forever,
honor bound.
That the counsel that you keep,
is yours til you grow old.
That you’ll wish upon a star
And be the hero,
that you are.

I believe you’ll stand alone,
and never shaken
When a trust is lost,
or when you’ve been forsaken.
That you’ll hitch your wagon,
back up to that star.
Cause you’re the hero in my lap,
That’s who you really are.

Cause I believe in you
I DO believe in YOU.
My faith in you,
will always last.
I’m the father with a hero,
on his lap.
Yeah, I’m the father with a hero,
on his lap.

82 Comments

Posted in acknowledgments, disconnection, healing, independents, the future, wins

JB – Going Mobile

Posted on June 18, 2010 by | 198 comments

babes chillin' on the bay

Well, we was simply chillin’ on the bay one day with Sam and other friends, when out of the blue I hear from a long, lost friend. You all have heard a bit about what followed and the fortuitous emergence of JB. To give you an unprecedented look into what escape along the underground railroad entails, and some fresh insight into happenings behind the wall, JB has graciously agreed to the  publication of one of the first emails he sent to me. You can see what it was like, in real time.

JB - 50 years ago

THE EMAIL:

Hey Marty,
 
JB here.  Anyway, I just completed the most successful blow from the Int Base without anyone having a clue that it was going to happen and, aside from my pc and ethics folders, I got out with all my stuff, bank account emptied and phones and blackberry wiped clean and left with the batteries out and SIM cards destroyed and my vehicle full of gas courtesy of motorpool.
 
Let me fill you in a bit more as I feel that some of the marbles have settled a bit in my head now as more time goes by.  Firstly, please realize that I am extremely paranoid right now.  I am out all alone here and freaked that they might magically find me.  I am pretty familiar with all the lines and tricks they use to locate people, hell, I used to do it myself!  But I am pretty confident that I did a good job of leaving no clues or leads or ways of tracking me down electronically or otherwise.  But my paranoia even extends to hoping I am not writing to an OSA bullshit email set up on a clone website that I got to in an effort to get to yours! Or that they are hacked in to your site or even hushmail or your pc and are monitoring every communication that goes in and out from you. I‘m a bit vulnerable right now and haven‘t contacted anyone yet and fear looking up old friends as they are probably  tracking down and calling every name of old buddies from my life history.  I was never anywhere near as high in  terms of power as you or Mike were, but I have been DM’s “personal engineer” as he used to brag to people ( I hated that leash he put on me) 
 
Anyway…  back when I was Internal Security Officer in RTC and you came back from the ship and became my senior, I remember one comm cycle we had where you told me very sincerely to “only listen to LRH and don’t buy what other people might give you as their interpretations or their examples“.  You said to study and understand LRH and I wouldn’t go wrong.  I really took that advice to heart at that moment in that comm cycle. 

I remember, not too long after that, being in the courseroom in Qual, I don’t remember what course I was on, but I was reading An Essay on Management.  It blew me away.  It made so much sense and while reading it and really seeing LRH’s description  of punishment drive I had my first thoughts of how DM operated.  Man what a withheld thought! 

I had a square peg suddenly and it seems that the nature of theta is to reason out how it actually fits the round hole.  But the seed was planted.  I read a bit of entheta crap on my lines here and there over the next year on that post and I ended up expressing my “THOUGHTS” and ended up at HV on the RPF for 3 years.  I was the MAA out there ultimately and I heeded your advice and studied LRH profusely.  After all my RDDs and whatnot I ended up reading all the LRH books and just about the entirety of the tech vols.  I was incredulous.  This was awesome.  I fell in love with the auditors code and the better virtues of man and had phenomenal wins by really caring about people and helping them.  It became simple. The comparison was what I had seen back at the base over the prior years and the horriby failed attempts to “handle” people by putting them in tents and forcing them to admit they were SPs and then retraining them on the Criminon program and George Washington’s rules on good behaviour.  80 percent of them just ended up not getting handled or blowing.  Some standard tech, 100% results, huh? 

Another realization I had out at HV was that all these people that were so “fucked up” were a phenomenal work force.  Much to the contrary of DMs continuous rantings at the time (and still to this day) that RPFer were constant overt product makers without exception, all the work they did was generally far superior to the construction work and sets and props work that the miserable lot of Gold crew were producing in their oppressive environment.  It might have been the RPF but it had a special factor of a lot of people that were actually validated for their creativity (albeit only internally in the group of RPFers and some of the Sets, Props and Estates guys that we were constantly bailing out). 

I remember starting to formulate back then my conviction that man really WAS basically good and it was actually easy to help him get better.  My wins along this line were staggering.  I had a blast and completely ended up differentiating myself from the bullshit way things were done at the base.  “SRA’s”, “ripped his face off”, scrubbing dumpsters and toilets with toothbrushes and all the myriad other forms of RSing ev purp dramatization were so obvious to me as a means of destroying people rather than any sort of therapeutic help or MEST work to get someone out of his head.  I gained more in my three years out at HV in this de-PTSing enlightenment than I had gleaned in my whole SO career since 1977 (I think I joined around the same time as you).  So I came back to the base, supposedly to go back to RTC but no one dared post me for some reason.  I was put on full time “training”  I said fuck that and went to motorpool and started working. 

I realized within a week that nearly everyone on the base was around the Fear band on the tone scale.  This was wierd to me.  I decided that few people could be trusted as when down at that band they will gladly use you as a shield for any imagined bullets they perceive coming their way.  To put it another way, they will „throw you under the bus“. 

I ended up later going in a training pool for RTC and found that the plan was for me to become Estates Manager RTC.  But again, no one would post me.  They were scared to take any initiative cuz “COB might get upset” or something. 

The square peg started to get splinters and stuff for me, but I still managed to rationalize it and figure out how it fit the round hole.  So I just took over gradually as Estates Manager by getting involved in that great empty mausoleum, Building 50.  I got the place pretty perfect and snagged myself a couple juniors, Maggie and Brenden, and strived to be a good senior and help them improve and be more competent.  I think I set a pretty good example for them and probably tainted them (good!) with my slightly different views and observations that it was easy to make things better and help people and that it made no sense that all the people on the base were „all just a bunch of SPs“ and that what actually made sense was that there was something else wrong that was as yet unidentified (although I was building my own secret arsenal of observations that this unidentified factor was good old Dave himself) 

The square peg started to get barbed wire wrapped around it, but I was careful to not cross any line in my voiced “dissension” and get anyone alerted to me.  I still managed to figure out how I was somehow wrong and that this bristling square peg still fit the round hole very smoothly.
 
I started making a name for myself.  I started handling some screwed up MEST type cycles that were on Dave’s lines in all manner or fields.  Stuff for TC was big on the list.  I started noticing how effusive DM was with people who would directly help his MEST and money empire.  These were his best “friends”.  Nobody got the prolonged handshake and piercing howitzer gleam right in the eye “THANK YOU, REALLY” like those who forked over hundred of thousands of dollars.  The square peg started getting slathered with napalm.

Then the thing that really nailed it for me.  The Freewinds.  Those previously in charge made a disgusting OP mess of the mega 30 million dollar full renovation of the ship in preparation for the MV 2008.  50 to 80 people from Int, PAC and Flag piled in to somehow get it “done” and presentable in the last 2 weeks.  I was one of them.  It was a total bandaid sets and props job and the place was such a seething overspend and OP that a large part of it had to be fully ripped apart and redone.  I stayed on board for a whole 14 months “fixing” it.  I became somewhat of a hero.  How and what I did and the final product that was way beyond what was originally envisioned is its own long story.  But I basically took over the whole ship and ran it “my way” (LRH’s way of common sense and actually helping people). 

I spotted Sue Price as the “DM clone” she was and decided to depower her by de-PTSing her whole CMO from her.  I started to realize that the source of this ranting disgusting demoralizing SP op basis was DM himself and that she had “learned” this when she was at Int and brought it with her to the ship, and so had many other staff.  I saw that this was a disease spreading throughout the SO.  I had never experienced first hand anything other than the Int base and all the bullshit that it was somehow a peculiar place full of all the SPs you could imagine.  But I was out on the clear blue seas away from all that crap and I took the opportunity to “try” doing what made sense to me and had huge wins pulling it off and changing the lives of hundreds of staff with my example. 

Marty, they think I’m a god or something.  Its really something.  I can’t imagine DM black PRing me to them with any measure of success after they got to work with me for 14 months.  I imagine he will keep my blow “quiet”.  I came back to Int from the ship last September and noticed that all the photos and products I got on the ship were used by him to “stuff up the ass” of some people in the hole and elsewhere by showing them how effective he was with his „personal engineer“ doing it right.  I could tell by how disgustingly propitiative they were to me in their „congratulations“ they were giving me.  Good news was only useful to him if he could use it to show people how fucked up they were.  Pretty sick.  The square peg with splinters, barbed wire and napalm was now lit afire and I started to see that it really did not fit the round hole at all. 

When I returned to the base from the Freewinds last September,  I got pulled aside by Carol B in COB’s office and “briefed” that I was not to reassume my post as Estates Manager and to stay aloof from my two juniors and any of the other “crap” going on at the base.  I was put onto full time study on “the basics” and told that I had a couple projects coming up.  I rebelled and moved back into my old office and told my juniors that it was not covered in any policy that I was aware of that I could just willy nilly be taken off post.  I was perm posted and fully hatted and not replaced so I just kept my post, though I did let my juniors get on with it as they had stepped up to more responsibility in my absence and I was not going to knock them back.

Over the months I got sicker and sicker of the obvious downtone lackeys in the hole and the dozen or so of  them that were now the “Int” people that got moved into Building 50.  They were so beaten down and useless that I couldn’t fathom it.  I saw them being completely useless and didn’t know how they could live.  Something was very, very wrong.  I decided that I needed to start preparing for something.  I could tell by various comm cycles and indicators that I was being kept with some idea that I end up with COB and possibly a handful of other “trusted and loyal” people somewhere.  This terrified me.   NO way! 
 
And then I got a brand new iPhone for Xmas!  Wow! internet access at my fingertips.  I ventured to “look and not listen”.  I watched the series of AC360 shows and then looked further and saw your Tampabay.com stuff and from there found your blog.  Holy crap!  I am NOT the only one who has seen this crap.  That settled it.  I had to get out.  I couldn’t do anything from inside that I could think of without getting incarcerated and hammered into submission.  I would have ended up taking off if that happened.  So I decided to take off without being “in trouble” while I had hundreds of people who saw me as a pretty sane cool dude who was in high ARC with all people he worked with and helped them.  I thought that would help get them thinking better than if I became just a “disaffected asshole like the rest of them”.  So poof…I blew.  They can‘t find me too easily.  I want to talk to you.  I am leery of getting tracked down until I can get some more firm ground and wherewithall under my feet.  There are some things I know that may be revealing and beneficial to you from my recent observations of his op against you and what has been happening in those circles.
 
A real painful part is the friends I left behind.  I got nobody out here!  I want to help them and see if I can pluck more of them out from this crap.  But mostly, I want to depower DM by getting his minions out from under him.
 
Enough for now. I will send this and await a reply.  I am very sincere about this.  I’m not shitting you.  Maybe DM has planted some false “leak” that I am his next secret infiltration attempt in order to keep you from contacting me or listening to me.  I wouldn’t put it past him. There is a lot of scheming going on.  Its a bit scary and lonely out here.  I want to do something.  I need to.  It is my duty.  Let me know, huh? 

Love you,  JB

JB at the shack. You can't take the kid out of the fisherman.

 Oh, yeah, he was influenced by listening to rebel music, which has now been adopted as the theme song of the underground railroad:

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Posted in acknowledgments, black dianetics, freewinds, healing, independents, int base, l. ron hubbard, tech, the future, Uncategorized, wins

The only way out is through – Community

Posted on June 16, 2010 by | 165 comments

 

Ralph and Jim and others exchanged some ideas about community on this blog recently.  When we came up with the idea of  creating Independence communities and community, I posted some ideas, after long, careful evaluation – knowing the nature of the beast – about how  ultimately creation of community was our greatest strength and most effective means to free the subject of Scientology.  I suggest that while the beast is mustering all the force it can to extinguish our postulates and dreams, community is more important than ever. Believe me, it is going to get more desperate and ugly in the coming months.  I think it is high time we determine to reach out to others,  congregate, strengthen our bonds and protect one another’s backs.   Listening to PDC 23 ARC, FORCE, BE/DO/HAVE prompted this message. Here are some applicable excerpts:

Force begets force, and he who lives by the sword will die by one. I promise you!  But, funny thing is, you have to be able to have enough force to use an unlimited quantity of  force, before you can pass over into a higher band of ethics. One cannot retreat from and cower back from force, under any pretext whatsoever, and still have a beingness above the level of this universe.

When you stop and think right now, perhaps, of being hit in the face, in the MEST body, with a hundred thousand KW lightning bolt, it is possibly not a comfortable thought, But I assure that that is a small amount of juice, compared to what you as a thetan can take. You ought to be able to pick your teeth with a million KW lightning bolt, theta wise.

If you have ever seen the mercy of the very strong, compared to the sympathy and fear of the very weak, if you’ve ever watched these two things, you will see the mockery of bottom scale trying to echo the top of the scale. A person has to be very, very strong before he can be ethical and completely merciful of his own free will. At the bottom of the scale a person has been forced to be, and everything affects him. He has been an effect of this and an effect of that, and so on. He’s still carrying along with some of his capability; there’s still theta there at the bottom of the scale, but not much of it. He has crossed over, you might say, crossed over the span of force on the band, successfully. But bluntly, nobody ever crawled out of this universe through the bottom of the hole. Nobody ever got out that way. That’s a grave. The only way out is through.

You have to be able to conquer the full use and control of any factor of the first dynamic, and having conquered that the full use, control of the factor of the second dynamic, and the third and so forth. You have to be willing and capable, and in full control of those dynamics, before you are free of them. Because always lingering in the back of your  mind, no matter how esoteric you may think your ambitions may be, always lingering in the back of the mind is something you can’t do; which is always a disability.

The capability of a thetan is not simply force. You take every saint on the calendar as represented as having a big bright aura. What do you think that aura was representing?  That was representing something very interesting. Raw energy.

Now whether or not these boys could weild energy or not, I don’t know. But they certainly represented them that way, and have continued to do so ever since. Tell you something interesting: Right there. Force. You want to be able to heal somebody at a distance, you have to have the capability of charring them into charcoal at a distance. And don’t mistake that one either, because the ability to produce force is the ability to make  a strong postulate. And the ability to make a strong postulate alone is capable of controlling the health and beingness of others.

So all force is, is the shabbiest shadow of what can be done. But unless you can make a postulate strong enough to handle force, it is highly unlikely that you can make a postulate strong enough to pervade all through the beingnesses which you would like to help. Tells you a lot about force. This is a force universe. And don’t EVER make a mistake about that. And if it was the only universe there was, God help all of us!  It is a force universe. It’s built on trickery, and it’s built on force…

…The strong man who uses force, fort main, as his sole criteria of existence is nothing but a brute. He is nothing but a brute. Nevertheless, the strong man who is able to make something in this universe must be able to protect it. ‘Cause this universe doesn’t care. He looks around, no matter what he does for anybody, no matter how much he tries to help, or anything else, in this universe with MEST force on the loose, and relatively uncontrolled, it makes no difference whatsoever. It is that remorselessness, that crushing capability, without discernment as to a finer quality, that breaks him at last.

He think in this unverse there ought to be such things as love, and goodness, and he thinks these things ought to repay. And you find somebody working himself to the bone, trying to be a good guy. Trying to be a straight guy and so on. What do you find all around him? You’ll find pitfalls waiting for his tiniest error. And he will go crashing down.

And who will push him?  The people he helped most. It’s a great universe. It is debased and degraded, really, that the better capabilities of  theta, the better capabilities of beingness, almost can’t exist in this universe. They are here in the flimsiest possible form…

…Theta’s greatest potentialities happen to be the ability to agree, which makes for groups. The ability to have affinity, to love and appreciate, and to feel sensation. And that is affinity. And the ability to communicate. And that’s communication. And the communications which are here in this universe are done through MEST. And these three manifestations are in action in this universe, in the form of MEST. But it is theta, handling MEST in a peculiar way, that gives us ARC. And the MEST handles to give us three conditions of energy, which become Affinity, Reality, Communication…

– L Ron Hubbard

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Posted in acknowledgments, ethics, healing, independents, justice, l. ron hubbard, quotations, the future, Uncategorized

Suppression of family starting with L. Ron Hubbard’s family

Posted on June 15, 2010 by | 423 comments

Ok, here is the beginning of my promised series connecting the dots of C of M familicide policy to its author, David Miscavige. You will get the complete story when my book is published. For now, these facts will suffice.

In 1981 Pat Broeker helped get his then-pal David Miscavige assigned to the position of Special Project Ops. As such DM was responsible for attaining an All Clear, meaning deal with the couple dozen civil suits that named LRH as a defendant, so that LRH could come to the Int Base and complete what he considered his most important final task of this lifetime. That task, direct and produce the tech films so that T.R.s and Metering could be mastered – those skills that LRH had always said would guarantee a case gain. (In a later story – or in the book – I’ll fully connect the dots so that all can see the complete Black Dianetics nature of Golden Age of Tech and all other nifty curve balls DM entered into the line up instead)

Miscavige seized on the opportunity to keep LRH off the lines and hijack the church through the power derived as serving as gate keeper for all communications to and from LRH. Broeker was in league, until LRH died and DM decided there could only be one (Kergin from Highlander, anyone?)

“All communications” included from the outset communications from L. Ron Hubbard’s wife and long-time confidante Mary Sue, as well as the rest of LRH’s family.

DM used his ONLY line early on by setting up Mary Sue as the fall woman for the lack of an All Clear. Miscavige would later brag about the “courage” it took to get Mary Sue to step down in his “one on one” encounter with her. See SP Times 1998 article The Man Behind Scientology. What Miscavige did not tell the Times was this:

Mary Sue Hubbard did not relinquish control because of Miscavige’s superior persuasion skills. She demanded that she be able to communicate to her husband. Miscavige said “no.” And there was not a single thing Mary Sue could do about it. She was defeated by the severance of the line to her husband. DM possesses the evidence of this. That is because he had JB bug the hotel room where the meeting took place. JB sat outside in a van (ala French Connection) with headphones monitoring the operation as it was recorded for posterity (without Mary Sue’s consent) onto the reel to reel recording tape.

I know everything that went down. That is because by default I became Mary Sue’s church terminal. She was so ARC broken with Miscavige, and messengers by extension, she refused to communicate with anyone from the Special Project. That was a huge flap, because her assistance as a witness was required in the litigation. Being a relatively green, amiable guy (I once was believe it or not) and non Messenger, I was elected to repair the line. And I remained in comm with Mary Sue till the quiet, sad end of her life.

Shortly thereafter, Diana Hubbard Horwich attempted to stop DM in his massacre of the mission holders. Her associates were all declared, and when she attempted to communicate what was going on to her father, her comm was cut and she was shot.

Fast forward five years.

In January 1986 Suzette Hubbard was engaged to be married to then-Marketing Exec International Guy White. Suzette’s father L. Ron Hubbard died on January 24th that same year. Suzette and Guy put off their wedding date so as to take care of LRH’s final wishes and pay their respects. However, none of LRH’s family – including Suzette – were invited to attend his final days by Pat Broeker and David Miscavige. Nor were any of them invited to his funeral and the spreading of his ashes days later.

Suzette and Guy were married on March 8th 1986. Suzette immediately became pregnant and was ordered to the International base by Miscavige.
Guy White, who was already at the base, was assigned to the RPF in the summer of that same year. At the Happy Valley locale of the Int base RPF, he joined his brother-in-law Arthur Hubbard and the only other male figure in left the family, Jon Horwich (ex-husband of Diana Hubbard and father to their daughter – Roanne).

During Suzette’s pregnancy, DM ordered published an issue stating that no babies can be born to S.O. Members. Did you get that? He put that issue out while LRH’s daughter was pregnant and in the S.O.

Tyson Hubbard White was born 9 months and 1 day after his parents were married, 9 Dec 1986.

LRH’s grand son was given a hearty welcome by DM by assigning his mother, LRH’s daughter, to the post of laundress. Her duties included, among other things, literally handling David Miscavige’s dirty laundry.

Guy White received a Board of Review that ruled his assignment to the RPF was erroneous. However, rather than returning to his post as Marketing Exec in the Office of ED Int – as is required by LRH Flag Order – he was assigned to the post of Clapper in Cine Gold. The post of Marketing Exec International was then filled by David Miscavige’s brother Ronnie. Don’t get me wrong, Ronnie was a tremendous Marketing Exec Int, but so was Guy, and the fashion in which DM cast LRH policy aside in the case of Guy White bears telling.

Guy and Suzette took family time, an S.O. tradition, either one hour before or after dinner. Even though they had been put into some of the lowest posts conceivable on the base, they found it increasingly difficult to take that one hour to be with their young son.

Tyson was being taken care of based on a personal letter earlier written to John Horwich from LRH that laid out a program for his and Diana’s daughter, Roanne. LRH referred to it as “a big program for a little princess.” The LRH Household Unit was being run on a parallel program, The Prince Program, for Tyson.
Then, an issue ordered by DM was put out that canceled Family Time for all S.O. members.

Suzette vehemently protested the issue and challenged its validity. She was told that there was nothing that could be found written by LRH covering family time. Suzette responded stating that she LIVED IT, that her father spent a minimum of an hour a day with them at Saint Hill in addition to dinner time, that the church needs to find it. We did find ample documentation that LRH ordered and enforced family time for SO families. DM ordered the evidence withheld from Suzette.

Conditions did not change. Finally, Suzette left the base with Tyson and showed up at her mother’s house for refuge never to return to the SO.
Guy left the base some months later joining up with Suzette and Tyson.

Suzette and Guy raised two other children, a daughter Alysa Marie and a second son Connor Bryce.

Now, I am not saying any existing personality is of particular significance in all this, nor that even if he or she were it would have any bearing on the route out across the Bridge. However, I cannot help but find the interesting historical parallels with the biblical times Massacre of the Innocents. You can read about it here:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_the_Innocents?wasRedirected=true

The media – even the best and strongest – have been backed off from exposing Miscavige. They took such a bludgeoning over the original Truth Rundown series and Anderson Cooper’s History of Violence, and continue to over at the BBC, that they have been coerced into laying off Miscavige. Not a knock on the fine gentlemen and gentlewomen who have gone through the C of M gauntlet over the past year. Quite the contrary, props to them.  But, we have our own media now.  And it reaches far more of those whom we’d like to reach than the largest and most prestigious of news agencies.

You want the truth?

Can you handle the truth?

You think you are entitled to the truth?

Then stayed tuned to this blog.

L. Ron Hubbard’s legacy shall be resurrected.

And L. Ron Hubbard’s family shall be vindicated.

And remember, 

“Truth, though often fought, always in the end prevails.” – L. Ron Hubbard

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Posted in acknowledgments, black dianetics, healing, independents, int base, l. ron hubbard, miscavige crimes, quotations, the future, Uncategorized

Natalie Hagemo beats the body snatchers

Posted on June 14, 2010 by | 218 comments

http://www.tampabay.com/news/scientology/article1102159.ece

Excerpt: ” Church spokesman Davis said mother and daughter made their own choices, the church didn’t force them to do anything. Now, he said, Hagemo is “rewriting history to justify her decision to leave Scientology.”

Tommy, I got news for you and your boss, she didn’t leave Scientology. She just arrived.

218 Comments

Posted in black dianetics, disconnection, ethics, FLAG, healing, miscavige crimes, propaganda, regging, the future, Uncategorized

Thanks

Posted on June 10, 2010 by | 166 comments

THANKS to the folks who not only made JB’s and my work easier over the past two weeks, but who taught us lessons along the way.

THANKS to Mosey for chasing off DM’s vampire gnats from the home front all on your sweet lonesome and for keeping me centered and introducing me to the original Morpheus.

THANKS  to the Cowboy Poet and the Navajo Code Talker (and their wonderful spouses) for great hospitality and some Wild, Wild West tailshaking services.

Cowboy Poet with a greenhorn

Navajo Code Talker

 

THANKS to Claire and Marc and K1 and K2 for making your home our home, reminding us that it is all about family, friends and the mortar that holds them together, making life fun and indestructible (love/ARC). And THANKS also to Marc for reminding me not to take things too seriously.

THANKS to Jason and Angie and B1 and B2 for the respite on your ranch that teems with life and for reminding us that theta in its many forms and personalities is the universal healer.

THANKS to Tiziano and Jamie  for reminding us of the power of insouciance and the spirit of play.

Thanks to Mary Jo and Kathy B for making it through the Third Wall of Fire despite the C of M’s best efforts to prevent it, and for sharing so that we all might follow your leads.

THANKS to Gregory and Joanna for sharing your irrespressible, shining own selves.

Collectively, you all instilled a great deal of confidence that everything is going to come out all right in the end. That is because you demonstrated how much stronger, faster and higher toned our horizontal lines of affinity, reality and communication are in comparison to the enforced, entheta vertical lines of the monster that seeks to destroy us.  It became very evident that no matter what the force encountered, we cannot be stopped.

This is to all ya’ll:

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Posted in acknowledgments, healing, the future, Uncategorized, wins