That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Something magical just hit the comments section. It comes from thousands and thousands of miles away. It comes from a woman who embodies everything we have been talking about for the past year. It comes from a woman who had every reason to keep her head low and live a life of bitter resentment.  I know that for a fact because I personally abused that woman verbally in a most cruel manner on several occassions back in the day when I wasn’t me.  We love you Lana, and I mean unconditionally. And if you quick shoot me a nice JPG portrait I’d love to put it up with this. Without further ado,

Thank you for the lovely LRH quote on force Marty.

It got me reflecting on why I come back to this blog over and over…

I only post on your blog occasionally, not because I do not agree and not because I do not wish to add my voice to the conversation, but because I only speak out when I feel that my contribution will somehow enhance the thread, or provide some more insight, or somehow give others some relief.

Since 2005 I have slowly started to gather back friends from past times. Persons, in the same postition as myself (declared SP for leaving the Int base or for no reason whatsoever). Persons who I worked with at Int. Persons, who I love the company of and who I have affinity for.

When I first made contact with them, I was full of bypassed-charge. I also had tons of questions. What happened when I left? How did it happen that way? Was there information that I had not been privy to (of course there always is) and I had wanted to somehow get to a point where I could end-cycle on the mess at Int. I wanted to stop the nightmares. I wanted to stop wondering about friends I had lost.

The conversations I have had over the last few years have been the best — and I thank each of you (including Marty) who listened as I wrote dissertations and lengthy emails about what had occurred and how things had been so wrong and off-policy.

This is where COMMUNITY comes in.

I did not always get the answers I was looking for, and sometimes responses were a long time coming — but each one let me rest a little easier and allow me to put my attention on to now and the future, rather than caught up in the past mis-emotion, problems and in-justices.

I feel very much part of this community.

I have felt that way for many, many months.

I have posted under the name of Solace, NOT because I am scared of the force or underhanded techniques of The Church, and NOT because I have connections that would be impinged upon by speaking out (I lost all those connections back in 2005), but because here, where I live, I have been rediscovering my OT abilities and I have been having unprecedented success in life. I simply had the idea that by communicating my collaboration with the community here, it might endanger my happiness on the homefront.

In reviewing this, particularly against the quote from LRH that Marty has posted, I can see that through communicating and affirming my affiliation with the Independent Scn Community, it will simply bolster my own ARC and my own power — and there really is no danger.

It seems the longer I stay disconnected from The Church of Scientology, the better life becomes and the more I rediscover the real me. By the time I had left I had been pounded down the tone scale and invalidated to the point where my own faith in myself, was at an all-time low.

I have been reversing that process over the last number of years and have been rediscovering how I can make my postulates stick, how I can use ARC to improve situations and how the only limiting factor is my own considerations (which I have been identifying and removing).

As a result, I would like to announce my independence.

My name is Lana Mitchell. I am an ex-Int base staff member of 10 years and a former Sea Org member of 15 years. I worked in CMO Int and then in RTC. I also worked for several years as a cook for DM, and his entourage and celebrity guests until 2003. Some of this journey was good. A lot of it was shockingly terrible.

I will not at this time include a long account of how I came to be declared. I am actually over it at this point and feel no need to rewrite it. It would also just enturbulate and upset those who read it — so what it the point?

What is important is the fact that I have confirmed for myself, in the last 5 years, the workability of LRH technology, I have confirmed for myself the power of my own postulates, and I have rediscovered that life is theta, exciting and a game.

I am currently living at home, in Australia, in a beautiful house my husband and I just built, with 2 lovely baby boys (one 4 years old and one 8 months old) who fill my daily life with theta and enthusiasm.

I am very happy here. and I am very happy to state that I am an Independent Scientologist and support this community.

If you wish to email me, you can do so at

OSA — Hi Kirsten (and Vicki)– I am sure you already had me in your little black book, but if not, you can now add me in. It might be a little difficult however to have my phone tapped and have me followed around, as I am live on a large rural block with a driveway of over 1 km and the closest house is almost as far away. Also — we have several large dogs, so you might want to call first befor anyone comes visiting (hee hee!)

167 responses to “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

  1. Welcome Lana, thank you for being here and communicating! Love Mosey

  2. Felicitas Foster

    Thanks Lana for supporting this community with your theta. I am glad that you rediscovered the workability of the Tech for yourself and finally found peace within yourself.
    Nice meeting you.

  3. Aussi Aussi Aussi! Oi Oi Oi !

    Welcome to our remarkable community in the independent field.


  4. Hi Lana welcome aboard! If you need any assistance feel free to ask. ML Ignazio.

  5. Watching Eyes

    What a great write-up. LRH would weep if he knew that people have to leave the “church” in order to finally have a life…..on all dynamics. But you know he’d agree. Heck, he’d be holding the door open.
    Good going Lana. Congratulations on your baby boys!

  6. Hi Lana

    Thank you so much for your nice post. You exactly described what I’m experiencing. I have the same wins.
    The biggest blowdown we had as a 2D was the post about LRH’s Family.
    Never I’ve experienced such a BD on myself and my wife. The BD occured in a Millisecond, very easy and calm. “So that’s the truth, My GoD !”
    No other reaction but just becoming fully analytical, full of ARC, be in PT and care about life with lots of Joy !!!!!
    Incredible how the truth sets you free.
    Thanks again to all of you.

  7. Thank you for being here and communicating.

  8. Well done Lana. I love Solace’s posts too 🙂

  9. Thank you Lana. Your statement and hearing how well you are doing are absolutely wonderful to hear!


  10. Lana,
    Thank you for your post. Don’t know you, but now feel we are friends. Last night, a good friend phoned and said she had written her independence declaration (watch for it – coming soon).
    Afterwards, I got that wonderful feeling (you all know the one) of increased havingness. Everytime a post such as yours hits the blog (and the universe), there is a resultant increase in havingness – because our group just got larger and stronger. You just improved a lot of lives and gave us more hope, ARC and force. So thank you and welcome.

  11. Congratulations Lana, and Welcome! Really nice to meet you here.

    Love, Kirsi

  12. Hey Lana! Its GREAT to hear from you — and Mitch — and that you are together and have a family! Totally theta! Your post gave me goose bumps. I am beaming! Will e-mail separately.
    Love, Shannon

  13. Thank you! Another one moves up to Cause!

    This is for the lurkers:

  14. Lana and Marty, what great people you are!!
    very moving!
    Best, Fidelio

  15. Wonderful news! Congratulations, Lana. (I’d say Vicki has her hands full at the moment. )

  16. Dear Lana
    I completely duplicate your journey to freedom and regained abilities, mine has been very similar.
    Welcome to the joy of being able to communicate and live fully on your own terms.
    Now that’s OT.
    Thank you for adding your power and theta to the ‘community’ and may the ‘force’ be with you 😉

  17. Marty,

    I want to acknowledge your integrity in admitting that you verbally abused Lana when you worked for the Church of Scientology.

    While I understand the desire of some not to dwell on, or get bogged in, the past, and to “move up to present time,” one cannot deal with the past unless and until one confronts the past. Marty, your admission demonstrates this.

    I also want to acknowledge Lana’s obvious strength in communicating to you despite such prior abuse.

    — Kha Khan

  18. Hi Lana,

    Its really great to see you out and about – wondered who Solace was and it’s a pleasant surprise!

  19. Hello, Lana. What a beautiful statement – so authentic and heartfelt. I extend a warm welcome and am pleased to be here with you.

  20. Hey Lana,

    So nice to hear from you! I figured you were Solas based on the information you imparted.

    You are a very welcome public addition to this community. I will email you separately.




  22. Lana, great to see you posting here – I sent you an e-mail.

  23. Thank you Lana for posting your announcement and being here with all of us! 🙂

  24. Concerned Citizen

    Dear Lana,

    You just made my day, I remeber you so fondly as CO CMO PAC. I also enjoyed working with Phillip briefly.

    I had a lot of attention on the 2 of you, since I knew just how very able and theta you both were and I knew how upste you had been towards the end.

    I can really see that so many of the people I treasured when I was in are here. You might not remember me, I’m one of those people that sometimes blends with the wall. But I remember the admiration I felt and feel for you both.

    For the time being and out of necesity under the radar.

    Congratulations on your new family

  25. Lana congratulations 🙂

  26. Lana

    Congratulations on the happy life, love, babies, lots of space, big dogs and expanding beingness you are creating out here in the world!

    Though we are now all on our own paths, we do have a wonderful community of supportive, caring, feisty and intelligent people, here and on other blogs, as well. You are so welcomed!



  27. Wonderful!

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Your life now sounds like a reward one might get for honest work delivered.

    Flourishing and prospering!

    Theta, love and life are within reach for all of us.

    I appreciate the sacrifices you made.


  28. Cheers and Welcome.

  29. Lana,

    We don’t know each other IRL — just here. Your comm as “Solace” has been lovely, and it’s nice to meet you now as yourself.

    Just Me

  30. Great to have you here Lana. All the best to you and your family!

  31. pandorawake

    Welcome, welcome Lana. I too have enjoyed your posts as solace.

    You MUST be incredibly OT. Eight month and four year old boys and you can still find time to indulge a blog or two? Haha.

    Such a lovely write up, you are very beautiful:)

    I for one am curious for details in you ever do feel like doing a write up.


  32. You know, the Church could almost get away with a disconnection policy if it only declared SPs. (I say almost, but I don’t really agree with disconnection at all). The widespread declares, along with disconnection from so many family members makes it so that just about every Church member likely knows someone who is either declared or disconnected from someone who has been. What I’ve seen here on this site is a lot of good hearted people, like Lana Mitchell, who have created good lives for themselves and others, in spite of the unjust ethics applied to them. So far I haven’t seen any SPs here at all. Even the lurkers who comment now and then are just those who haven’t woken up yet.


  33. Something magical is happening. The affinities that have been suppressed for so many years are opening up. LRH said so long ago that a lie derives its power from an underlying truth.
    When I think back to the first time I met Scientologists in 1971 I remember the incredible affintiy and wilingness to grant beingness of those earlier days.
    That was what I wanted.
    Now we are putting it back and putting our attention back on the first postulate which quite possibly blows the charge without the need for extensive costly sec checks.
    Watch out DM! Read the Chart of Human Evaluation. What will happen as people become free again is that they wil simply cease to interact with you. They will move up the tone scale and simply loose interest in your perverted games. Then you will be condemned to the worst eternal hell of living alone in your spiritual abyss.
    But, a word of solace, we have all commited abysmal crimes in our time otherwise we wouldn’t be so pts to yours.
    So give us a little while to recover and when you are in Lower Slobovia hiding in a cave just remember that LRH always said leave the door open a liitle. We’ll leave it open a little too and one day again accept you as a friend.
    I’m sure you read Marty’s blog while supping your Scotch.
    Recommended reading is “What is Greatness”
    The greatest overt in this universe is making another wrong for their overts. Hard as it may grate we have to apply that LRH datum to DM aswell.
    LRH said love your enemies despite all they have done.
    When we can do that we will truly have attained greatness.

  34. Hi Lana and welcome! It’s fabulous to hear how well you are doing and that you have a family.

    I don’t think we have met, but I love hearing how successful and theta people’s lives become when they disconnect from the C of M.

  35. Theo Sismanides

    Hi Lana,

    This is so incredible! I looked at your picture and you looked familiar. Well, you were the CO CMO PAC, right! I was a recruiter at ASHO DAY. Now we are here again on another level of the game. I am very happy for your wins and successes. I am happy for your family and your boys!
    Marty this is too good to be true. So many good people here. Re-crescere indeed, growing again!

  36. Tony DePhillips

    Hi Lana!

    Congratulations on getting your life back together and for helping to build the new community.


  37. Lana;

    Heartfelt thanks reading your Independence statement. Perfect timing I might add. Following all the evil 2D crap Marty posted. Not to confuse the community but this level of THETA following what I had to confront with Marty’s 2D post I now feel like I just took a THETA SHOWER.

    I want Marty to continue to deliver the TRUTH, but I must admit it is awsome to take a THETA break once in a while and read some good news.

    I’m keyed out knowing Lana has joined this growing community of Independents. As Tom said…”One more moves up to cause!”

    The very best to you and your family. I hope to read more about your past at INT & RTC and your present wins.

  38. Hi Theo, Yes — I was the CO CMO PAC in 1990 and 1991. Really enjoyed that post and then I was removed from it as I had not been a Messenger that personally worked with LRH — that was the arbitrary rule that was enforced at that time. I do remember you! Great to hear from you and thank you for the well wishes!
    Cheers- Lana

  39. Thought Provoking

    Hello Lana!

    You may not have posted much but when you did it really communicated! I took a liking to you from your first post.

    Happy to see that you are free to be, do and have a wonderful life!

  40. Lana,

    I’m reading your post and nodding: ah, here’s someone who gets it. Your post made me think of postulates, so I’ll throw out something from my session notes today:

    “In the physical universe, when you apply the laws of physics, you get a predictable result or outcome. In the theta universe, when you apply the laws of theta physics, you get a predictable outcome.

    And one of those laws has to do with postulates. It’s a law that implanters observed and used against thetans. Because the ability to postulate was a formidable weapon of theta, attacking that ability became critical in winning the war against thetans. When you make a thetan dependent on the postulates of another or others, he will deteriorate in ability and power. The more dependent on the postulates of others you make him, the weaker and less formidable he becomes.”

    What does DM do with the postulates?

    What does a social being do with postulates?

    I notice that as we become “Independent” our postulates seem to pick up power. We become source of our own postulates rather than depending on a senior or anyone else.

    I wonder if the being who mocked up LRH created so much cognitive dissonance about the man to force us to become source of our own ARC, KRC, intentions and postulates. Worshiping another is hell on your personal postulates. And just as with any personality or beingness, LRH was a mocked up terminal through which information was funneled and formulated into a subject for our use.


    ps. Lana, aren’t kids great? I have two and just love them to pieces. One’s going to college next year, the other is a high school sophomore. It just goes so fast. I keep wishing I had spent more family time with them rather than bringing home the bread. And butter. And cake. And…

  41. Hi Mosey, Thank you. I also want to thank YOU for being there. I worked in Internal Afffairs in RTC for some years and I am very familiar with the tricks and illegal goings-on of OSA when it comes to “enemies of the Church” (as they call them). I am sure it is trying and also challenging for you and Marty, as well as JB and Mike. Keep on smiling!
    Cheers- Lana

  42. Big hug, Lana and very, very welcome here!
    This is really an excellent place to be and you are so true in what you said:
    “I did not always get the answers I was looking for, and sometimes responses were a long time coming — but each one let me rest a little easier and allow me to put my attention on to now and the future, rather than caught up in the past mis-emotion, problems and in-justices.”

    Your communication is so light and easy to grasp and the same time it can be seen how hard the time has been for you and what you went through.

    Great to have you here now!!!


  43. Welcome Lana! So inspiring to read your story and I am so happy you are doing very well – babies too!!! 🙂 That is the best!

    Now it will only get better and better – you will find lots more sunshine and more friends and love in this community – you so deserve it!

    Hugs to you –
    Mary Jo

  44. Hi Watching Eyes — Thank you very much.

    The straw that broke the camels back for me, that led me to route out of the PAC RPF, was my mother travelled around the world to come and visit me and I was forbidden to see her. She only wanted to see me for a few hours, or at best a day. She had not seen me in years. She had given us 8 months notice that she was coming (and it was costing her a sizable sum to travel there) but as the date got closer, the RPF I/C refused to approve any CSW for me to see her.

    She was already enroute and I had no way to tell her what was occurring. I was told then when she rocked up at Reception I could speak to her on the phone and say I was unavailable. This, for me, was the end of the end. I had put up with a bunch of gross injustices, I had done heavy MEST work for months on end, I had toed the line and done my best just to keep my marriage (after being forcefully separated for months on end) — but then to be told I could not spend even a few hours with my mother, who I had not seen in years, was unbelievable.

    What happened to The Way To Happiness “Honour and Love your Parents”? What happened to LRH’s many policies on communication, on ARC and so on? And this was on top of the fact that my mother had been “offlines” for over 20 years and this was going to push her over the edge as far as I was concerned.

    The RPF I/C clearly had different views and different priorities, and destroying any last resemblance of family I had was up there on the list.

    Anyway — interestingly enough, since returning home and spending hundreds of hours with my family, my mother told me that she has never met or seen anyone live and apply LRH technology so effortlessly before. She has been inspired to apply it herself and is now doing so, more and more. I hope to get her auditing some day to clean up the mess that AOSH ANZO left her (and my step-father) in, back in the early 80’s.

    She loves having grandchildren and has communicated over and over again that me coming home was the best dream coming true for her — ever.

    Cheers- Lana

  45. Thanks Linda. We are certainly friends. Cheers- Lana

  46. Hi Shannon,
    Lovely to hear from you. Got your email too! Will reply later this morning (we are 17 hours ahead of you).
    Cheers- Lana

  47. Welcome to our community, Lana
    We live in a somewhat remote area up in the Alps.
    Our dog can quite easily lick the top of my head when I am standing up but he loves most people.
    Some years ago I posted an invite for OSA and the PIs to come round for tea and cakes but they never accepted.

  48. Thank you Sam.

  49. Hi Kha Khan,
    Interestingly enough, Marty was my direct senior for quite some time. And before that, he was two times put onto posts after I had been removed from them.

    We are both very different people since that time. He is no longer using force to belittle people and I am no longer on a victim succumb in life. Both of us were simply responding, in different ways, to the pressures of working in RTC under DM.

    I found working in RTC to be one of the most entheta things I have ever done. I was continually put on the meter to find my ethics why or my item, and virtually every time my “item” was “entheta” and accompanied by an LFBD on the meter. I did not know where the entheta was coming from, and despite the best efforts, I failed to pinpoint it as coming directly from the top until I actually left the place and destimulated a little.

    Yes, Marty was cruel — but he also was trying to impinge on someone who had seemingly become dead inside. I was going through the motions, trying to escape the place somehow, and being at a loss on what to do to resolve the problem. I was a difficult junior at best.

    That is all in the past at this point. What is happening on this blog and with this growing community, is we are rediscovering the joys of Scn, the wonders of applying LRH tech — without the Blakc Dianetics and suppression coming from the top of the Church. And for me — I soared back up the tone scale to my rightful place and am very much enjoying spirit of play again.

    Speaking of which — I have decided I will keep my dogs hungry — so OSA, if you dare come to visit, I would not suggest getting out of the car

    , and whilst it took me some time to decide to write to him, his first email was sufficiently

  50. Oh dear Marty — sorry about the typos!

  51. Thank you Sinar. You are a wonderful being. You taught me much in the bowels of the Gold Galley — and I use those tools and recipes still to this day, cooking for my family and friends. Maybe, if you come over here some time, I can cook for you!
    Cheers- Lana

  52. Thanks Mike! Look forward to your email!

  53. Love you love you love you Colwell!!! Want to give you a BIG HUG!!!!! Miss you!
    Cheers- Lana

  54. Hi Concerned Citizen,
    I have been watching your posts and figured we may know each other. Mitch is well and also flying high in life. I am really impressed with what he has accomplished in such a short time home!
    Feel free to email any time.
    Cheers- Lana

  55. Hello Lana! beautiful, true, amazing!

    It’s so nonintuitive at first, isn’t it? When things start going better after we draw the line and say “No” to our supposed “Church”?! But it is what it is. And what is is simply what it is. 🙂

    And the truth blooms (including how wonderful you are).

  56. I feel a bond with you and of course it make perfect sense.
    We all share a very common R in that we discovered Scientology, found it worked,decided to contribute our energy to forward the Aims of Scientology then through suppression and seeing the Church go to hell we wound up here.
    Now we are Communicating about it and I find my Affinity for others who post here rising daily.
    So of course my Understanding of the situation and the independant community is soaring proportionately.

    And for the KRC triangle: Marty and others are providing a great deal of Knowledge as to the true reasons why things went to hell.Thus we are all I, believe, moving to take Responsibilty for things and put in Control.
    That is where community will really begin to have an effect.As a group we can gain more knowledge, take more and more responsibility until we are in Control of the scene and rise to power.
    All the while maintaining a high degree of ARC. (something DM is completely clueless about!)

  57. Hi Once Upon A Time,

    You are so right about postulates.

    When I came into Scientology I already knew that I had some abilities that others did not seem to have. At an early age of 19 I was running a commercial restaurant kitchen that fed 120 people daily. My postulates seem to stick with a relative ease.

    I joined the Sea Org at the age of 22 and within weeks I was promoted from ANZO, and then promoted to CO CMO PAC, and then promoted to CMOI and from there to RTC. It was a rocket ride over a course of several years.

    But as soon as I got under the thumb of DM my downward journey began. From 1994 my life became miserable. I got busted over and over. I was kicked out of RTC . I was later busted from Gold and removed forcefully from the Int base. By the time I left that place I thought the last thing I could do was anything “right” and I certainly felt I could not get any postulates to work at all.

    Since returning home I am really enjoying again putting out a postulate and having it stick.

    I won a scholarship worth $12,000 in 2007 for innovation in floriculture. I won an award for “Young Achiever of the Year” in floriculture in Australia in 2008. I won an award at the beginning of this year worth $10,000 for a trip overseas and extensive media and on my business. I have a business that is thriving and I am the editor of two magazines, which I love.

    All of this is based on postulates I made on returning home. I have been steadily making them happen ever since.

    I also made postulates about my family and my home that have all become actuality and have amazed others.

    I think having children is a truely amazing experience and one that I am so lucky to have. Many of those I worked with escaped too late to have children, but I was luckily pre-40 and able to get pregnant within a month of stepping back onto Australian soil.

    My boys are inspiration on a daily basis. The first time your baby cuddles you back is amazing! Watching as your baby learns to walk, learns to feed himself and learns to talk and read and write — it is an experience that has really enriched my life.

    There are times my 4 year old gently strokes my head and kisses me with words of love. There are also times when he grinds crayons into the carpet (argh!!!), or tries to cuddle his baby brother so hard that I am worried he will crush him. But it is all good!

    We are heading off to swimming lessons this morning. My oldest has recently conquered his fear of putting his head under the water and I am so proud of him!

    Cheers – Lana

  58. Thanks Anna!

  59. Thought Provoking


    Great Post.

    My space just got much bigger.

  60. Freedom Fighter

    Wahoo! Welcome, Lana! I love stories like this of people flourishing and prospering after disconnecting from the SP environment that now engulfs the Church. Yet another shining example of the Tech. Definitely what this is all about! Thank you for speaking out. BTW, I loved your insouciant message at the end!

  61. one of those who see

    Marty & Lana. This makes me so happy!!! I am so happy to see these past relationships mended. Please continue everyone!
    It is so well done Lana that with all you went through, you have -like so many here, been able to differeniate that treatment from Real Scientology.
    Sounds like you have a wonderful life! Great to have you communicating here.

  62. one of those who see


  63. Hi Lana, Welcome and thank you for your story.It is so nice to meet you on this blog. You are truly a lovely person.

  64. Lana!
    It’s great to hear from you!

    I had asked about you a couple of years ago and was just told you were somewhere in Australia.

    I bet you and Mitch have two very good lookin young chaps!

  65. Pingback: Top Posts —

  66. Hi Lana,

    I remember when you came out to the Int RPF, I think in 1997ish, maybe 1996, like December 96 or Jan 97, you were in RTC, and the Int RPF had gotten somehow “too cushy” and you were hot under the collar.

    Boy that caused some sparts, Bruce Bromley who was the Bosun of the Int RPF (Happy Valley, Bruce was Bosun all of 1996, Pablo was MAA, Janadair was something or other, and this was when John Wiley was the RPF I/C and he cut us RPFers a huge amount of slack, to his credit), anyways you were the RTC person to come out and get things MORE slavish, sheesh.

    I remember you had us sleep outdoor, pull our matresses outside of our “air conditioned” red trailers that we had been coolly sleeping nightly, getting our 7 hours and 20 minutes of RPFer sleep time; you had us sleep outdoors that night after you came out and raised hell about our garden paradise RPF (Janadair’s doings, she was the gardenerness supreme, we had nice rock walls, a great “theta” esprit de corps on the Int RPF at that time, this was PRE the 1997 more draconian RPF Flag Orders, and the Int RPF at that time was sort of just flying by the seat of its pants.

    I liked that version of the IntRPF, pre your coming, and pre the 1997 RPF FOs that made it all more draconian again.

    Anyways, I know you were a good person at heart, and I took you as just “doing your duty” as RTC, namely being bad ass like DM’s expected RTC badass valanced staff were to be.

    It makes me think reams of things.

    You write WELL Lana!

    Please share your views even more.

    This is historical that so MANY top ex people can be themeselves, normal citizens, share history, and share their humanness.

    I guess you are still married to Paul, he’s the Aussie, and you’re the American, correct!

    Well I don’t have a bad thing at all to say about you for kicking us Int RPFers outside to sleep outdoors, that one night.

    I knew you to be the same good person at heart, and I’m glad you found yourself again.

    Thanks so much for going public.

    Truly we have to thank the internet, and THANK all of us who are free and good enough to speak up.

    I’ve loved your postings also.

    Thankyou Lana.

    Say hi to Paul, he’s a very good man!

    Chuck Beatty

  67. martyrathbun09

    Lana, I didn’t see any typos, but looks like your long comment just cut out mid thought.

  68. Mockingbird6

    It seems like exes are “coming out of the woodwork” (means there are sure a lot of them.) And how wonderful to find that the “woodwork” is full of butterflies like you! M6

  69. Wow amazing what you all did to eachoter for the greater good.

  70. “We frail humans are at one time capable of the greatest good and, at the same time, capable of the greatest evil. Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change too.”

    – Mairead Maguire

  71. Kathy Braceland

    Absolutely beautiful Lana! Nice to meet you. Welcome to the wonderful community of free spirits.

  72. Curious.Were you at Flag with RTC for the GAOT evolution?

  73. Solace,

    For what little it is worth (and it is deservedly very little given that you don’t know me and I post under a pseudonym), I am very impressed with your response. You have truly confronted, as-ised, moved on and overcome. I’m very happy for you.

    — Kha Khan

  74. Tony DePhillips

    Hi Lana,

    Wow, that is one of the sickest stories I have ever heard. If I was in that position I think I would have gone “postal” ( as they say here in the US).

    Good for you getting out of that nut house!!!

  75. Lana,

    A big hello and glad to hear from you. I had been in touch with Mitch some last year on Facebook and have wanted to get back in touch with you too. I’m so happy for you, Mitch and you’re being able to have kids and your new wonderful life back in Australia. Congrats on coming through it from one whose been through it too.

    We last saw each other at the Ranch before you all were moved down to the Pac Ranch. I was on a different path of routing out and why I didn’t end up out there with everyone else kicked off the Base.

    It is great to see your smiling face and I too will email you. Take care and all my love, Jackie

  76. Solace,

    Again, I’m very impressed and very happy for you and your family. Indeed, I find your story of recovery and triumph to be inspiring. (I’ve shared it with others.)

    Your story also made me hopeful for the first time in a long time about at least some of the Tech. I never thought I would think or feel that way again, much less say it “out loud.” 🙂 In other words, your story had a major effect.

    — Kha Khan

  77. Ne Obliviscaris

    Good on ya’ Lana!

    Thank you for being part of our community. It’s people like you who’ve been through the wringer, but just keep getting back up that are the real heroes in this life.

    I’m very happy that you now have a great family and are getting back in comm with your true group again.

    You sound like a Fair dinkum Independent to me — and that’s the only kind we need.



  78. Chris Black

    “I have been rediscovering my OT abilities and I have been having unprecedented success in life.”

    “I have been reversing that process over the last number of years and have been rediscovering how I can make my postulates stick, how I can use ARC to improve situations and how the only limiting factor is my own considerations.”

    Amazing what occurs with the simplest of motions: moving out from under a source of suppression.

    I’ve also accomplished so much – a house, a wife, three children, a job, two degrees (one an MSc.), back playing piano after almost 40 years, reading anything I want, oh, done a couple of Ls in the field as well, and I audit or C/S daily!

    So I’m so very happy to see you doing so bloody well, Lana. Welcome back to COMMUNITY!

    The universe is a wonderful place to be. A very few have tried to make it not be so, but you know, they can go fly a kite! 🙂

    Chris Black
    Class VIII C/S

  79. Tony DePhillips

    Thanks for that Ralph, I always enjoy your comments.


  80. Mike Hobson


    Thanks for uncloaking, as it were.

    I seem to recall your face from PAC Base. Didn’t Nettie Alcock take over as CO CMO PAC from you?

    If you were still in PAC as Nettie’s D/CO through 1993, you may remember me as the SHSBC Course Admin & Tech Films I/C for ASHO Foundation and very last person in PAC Base to accept the so-called Amnesty after the 1993 “IRS Victory” event. I believe I spoke with you about why I had not done the O/W writeup and accepted the Amnesty.

    I had my best FO 38 in and I asked for permission to speak freely which you granted, so I told you that as a Commodore’s Messenger, you were only empowered to order things that Ron himself would have ordered, that an Amnesty is a *gift* and that Ron would never have *ordered* anyone to accept it.

    Your response to me to ask me whether I would do so if I were *asked*. I was sure that there would be great trouble, if I did not complete the required O/W write-up and accept the Amnesty ( for you all, not just for me) because it seemed clear this *order* came from “uplines” (McSavage), so I agreed to do it and finally did.

    Do you remember me ?

    Michael A. Hobson

  81. Hi Lana!

    I am very happy to see you are out and doing well 🙂 Are you still with Philip? If so, please tell him hi for me as well.

    Sounds like you are doing great in life! You were always one of the nicest people to work with and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you are out.

    Laura Dieckman/DeCrescenzo

  82. Lana, I don’t know you. But your success and your kindness made me feel that there is hope out there for people like us out here…

    To all of us!!!



  83. VWD Chris!
    I know you are a great Dad and it is fantastic to hear you are doing so well these days.
    Next time I’m “out east” I’ll look you up and if you ever make it back “home” give me a shout!

  84. UnluckyPatron

    I appreciate your publicity with your viewpoint and feelings. I really take a win every time someone can publicly announce their newfound logical status. It really does cut the Church’s influence down exponentially in a geometric progression. Well done.

    I also want to validate you, Marty, for you candor and truthfulness. You admit your past shortcomings which is something no current church staff member is capable of. I applaud you for that.

  85. Lana,

    What an absolute (in a universe of no absolutes) joy and theta breath of fresh air your post has created! I am so glad that you’ve “come out”, girl (I’m working on my “Independence”).

    Every thing you’ve mentioned has brought to light more of what’s right with being a Scientologist.


    Every story (good or bad) adds to our very beingness and survival.

    You are so much appreciated for being YOU.

    Thank you again for your inspiring post and theta!

    OTater (just another friendly “me” Θ ) 🙂

  86. Chuck, I have to apologise to those that were on the RPF at that time. I am truly sorry for what occurred. Yes, it was my job — and yes I was doing what was expected of me (and not very well). I had actually sent most of the people there to the RPF as DM had me constantly on witch hunts of CMOI to find the SPs and RPF them. I have mentioned this in earlier posts but I was sent to Int over and over to shadow and investigate those there.

    I RPFed Bruce Bromley, who I adore and miss terribly. Since I have left that place I have tried to find him and not been able to. Maybe, hopefully, he can contact me and we can resolve what occurred and I can apologise to him for all that happened.

    Yes — I am not a serious and low toned individual natively and I found the “Code Of Conduct of RTC” oppressive and very hard to follow. We were all to be “almost cold” to all staff outside RTC and there was certainly to be no laughing or smiling or ARC. I found that one of the hardest things I have been ordered to do, as the effect it had on those around me was awful.

    You may or may not remember, but I was also repspnsible for getting you through your lower conditions at one point — and I was removed and replaced by Marty a short while later.

    I am married to Philip, and we are both Australian.

  87. Thank you for such a lovely compliment!

  88. Good on you Chris! That is fabulous!!!

    I wholeheartedly agree with you!

  89. I remember you Mike!

    Wasn’t that Amnesty a weird cycle!!

    It is great to hear from you!

    Cheers- Lana

  90. Lana, Thank You for your theta comm. You are definitely glowing and prospering in life and I am very happy for you and you family. Keep it up.

    Marty, Thank You for shedding lights on the truth and adding theta to our daily life.


  91. Watching Eyes

    What a story about your mom’s visit. Now that she’s seeing real tech you’ll probably find her interested in getting her auditing cleaned up. Bravo!

    The dwarf’s worst nightmare is the internet. It’s so cool that you in Australia can instantly communicate with people anywhere in the world, from the US to the Alps. It’s the vechicle we’re all using to put the ARC back in in the field and of course, it’s working. It’s pretty cool when you think about it; comunication totally out of the dwarf’s evil reach & control.

  92. Tony DePhillips

    One thing that I have noticed is the quantity and quality of ex Sea Org people that are around this blog.

    To me it is an out point of magnitude that DM and friends have blown off so many good people. I would be proud to have any of these guys helping to Clear the planet if they were left alone and able to operate in thier own theta way.

    The truly detestable thing is that DM was able to create such an entheta space for these people (who had very high theta levels) that they allowed themselves to be driven down the tone scale and became other that what they truly are.

    I am really enjoying watching all these great people de-PTS themselves and on top of that recreate the TRUE theta group as we all put ethics in for real on the main SP who has been the main cause of this truly dangerous situation.

    It is also ironic that some of the people that helped to blow off other Sea Org and public are now surfacing here after they themselves having been blown off by others. It makes me think that the true enemy of the group is the bank and it’s subsequent out-ethics gone unhandled. And that is why it is important to have a leader who can demonstrate that he is capable of showing theta and able to handle his people when they start to dramatize destructive behavior.


  93. Gee, I haven’t been able to itsa this for years!
    But here goes, back in the early 80’s when people who didn’t have a load of money could sleep ten to a dorm for $40.00 a week, work a full time job and give almost every dime to the church, and actually make it up the bridge, I was living at the manor.

    But I always had problems with my mom… she didn’t think I had any business out in California living with a cult, haha. What an SP, lol.
    I was constantly being put on short term disconnects by the MAA. My mother was just always coming up.

    Being the strong matriarch (we are cherokee) she rounded up my big sister and brother-in-law to drive all the way from Missouri to California to check on me in person.

    We were sabotaged by the front desk clerk at the Manor, who said I was not there and refused to ring the phone in the hall of the dorm. So my family tried for the whole of the evening and most of the next day and gave up!

    Not as insidious as your story by a long shot, but just as you say…what happened to ARC? Applying your TR’s and why did we even do the levels?

    I am so pleased to meet you and hear your story, it’s encouraging. I admire you for drawing that line in the sand . And it is incredibly exciting that you are lining up auditing for your mum!

    My mum was never a scientologist, and she never was the most perfect person on earth either, but she’s a warrior.

    Now she lives with me… and everyday I think she gets some benefit from the tech.

    I mulled it over that I should give her some self analysis, that it would be beneficial after this last stroke. I’m really getting excited about the prospect of it.

    Anyway, I could go on and on…

    I love your sweater in the picture, it is so artistic, you aussies have the best sweaters, EVER!

  94. Hi Lana.

    Happy to see you well.

    Thanks for reminding us that a public declaration can be done.
    That the fear can be challenged.
    That the ones who prosecute us can be faced.
    That forgiveness is a gift and can be given.

    You and your story are impossible to ignore or let go.

    It´s good all the cautions you are taking against OSA with dogs and more…

    They will try to play games on you; that´s for sure.

    The latest game CofS in LATAM is playing with me is they give all my pc folders to a “on line upstat and OL scientologist” and he´s now briefing to all the scientologist who still respects me about all my overts in the folder.


    If they can´t unmock me with my SP declare; well, then a hefty dose of hot transgressions taken directly from my confessionals, mariage counseling and general bridge auditing will do the rest of it.

    But is good to see how they give themselves a flow zero foot bullet and have a strong seconday also. This dude was informed from one “briefed” scientologist that he better don´t dare again to speak bad about me and that is not standard to use pc data to speak against someone.
    Another “briefed” person told this “upstat and OL scientologist” that he is never again welcome in his house for having used data on my pc folder to black PRed me and don´t dare to visit again.

    I tell you this because this is the true.
    This is the day to day living of a public Independent.

    At least of some of us.

    This will serve as a supreme justification for a bunch of cowards to remain in the jail while they claim to be “free”.

    So the break is over. The session continues and I will keep my tr3 in even if this represents that the beast unleash a lot of HE&R.

    Again Lana.

    Thanks for this courage gift. For this Public announcement and for making yourself know having no necessity of it.

    You are very appreciated.

    Roberto Sánchez Núñez

  95. Wow, you’re amazing.

    I was impressed that you had time to read a blog, you got it alll going on.

    I feel like I finally have shiny friends again.

    It’s hard to believe I feel happy, with all that is going on around us.

    But it’s called real hope, not the political propaganda kind.

  96. It is making me sad to read about you not being able to see your mother. I believe you left a sick place and I am so glad you are out.

  97. Concerned Citizen

    Dear Lana,

    The horror stories from the RPF abound, and I knew you were very upset and I understood why well. I also did not understand Alex’s logic (RPF I/C) I specially didn’t because I knew him well. Alex Meyer was once a true Scientologist, very able and very well intentioned who really wanted to help people and did, using the tech and any means at his disposal. At the start of his tenure, he was handed a mess of over run, over restimulated cases. He was periodically ganged up on for his “criminal reasonability”, lack of “confront of evil” and “other fish to fry” till he relented and began doing this kinds of things.

    He was actually a guy who truly wanted to help RPFers and had tons of ARC at the start and changed after countless ethics handlings etc. He was in RTC last I knew and there was little left of the guy I once knew. He is one of those people I hope will wake up.

  98. Concerned Citizen


    Great news, I knew you both would do great.
    I will e mail as soon as I figure out how to do it securely.

  99. Concerned Citizen

    Ralph, great great post.

    I agree, though in the case of DM I’m finding it dificult to “be greatness” I have reflected on this a few times and come to the same conclusion.

    I have learned to admire his craftiness- it is a start…

  100. Dear Lana,

    I am so happy to hear your story! It has taken a bunch of years to destimulate for me too. I never was in the craziness of int but SO
    life in the lower range had enough outpoints and injustice for me to leave. Ntheta rejects Theta.

  101. An Aussie!!!!……Wow!!….Hello and welcome Lana…..Lise from Brisbane

  102. I just have to add this. Lana inspired me to communicate what my dream is and dreams became reality if you do something about it.

    My dream is for many many more aussies to come forward and be counted all of the grass roots level people. There was an LRH reference somewhere that went kind of like this

    “You australians may think I’m being flowery and all but you hold the power in the palm of your hands and you don’t even know it…..”

    I never understood that at all when I was in the church but out here and through the Independents I really get it!……We do have the power in our hands. We have an inquiry happening, we have the ombudsman for fair work investigating the church staff pay. We have Senator Xenaphon who will not be stopped. We have Indies connecting all over the world. What happens in Australia may very well be the turning point in the Government that we need. Politicians all over the world will take note of what happens here and we also have a powerful australian team on the exscn message board, they are mostly responsible along with anonymous who generated that power to begin with. We might not always agree on the tech but bringing the church down is our common goal.

    Thank you to Tatiana from Russia who kindly offered to put up a site for me. Its on its way and its called “Australian Independents”.

    And now we have Lana 🙂

  103. Hi Lana, I was still half asleep when I opened the blog this morning, and seeing your picture there, I started crying with emotion and relief. This was so unexpected I thought “Where the hell does this come from!?”. Instantly, I got the picture of me sweating and crying under my Sea Org cap, with shaking knees, as I watched you and this Honor Guard incident. I hadn’t thought about all this for years and now, with a de-PTSed viewpoint, I saw the whole thing in a new light: How we had to “have our stats up” before leaving for Flag on a Tuesday night and therefore most of us did not sleep before leaving, how we again were made to not sleep arriving at Flag setting up an exhibit all night, and how again we could not sleep after that because DM wanted a video under his door when he would wake up in the morning! Yet we had already done the show on the Base and were were now 3 to 4 nights without sleep having to stay at attention for hours in dress whites!! He made himself look like a hero by blaming the Chief Engineer for the AC system not being strong enough and by telling all he was personally making sure you got the best medical attention. But really his usual “let’s over-do everything and micro manage everything, and over-use every ressource to death” was the cause of the accident.
    Also we were not allowed to even come and see you afterwards and all of us were so upset about it. Then later, because of all “no fraternizing” BS I could never even ask “are you ok Lana?” Anyway, I had no idea I had this hidden pocket of charge and I was so relieved to see your happy ending! I too, I am very very happy I could go early enough to have kids, and could relate to everything you said about children here. Anyway, I am so happy for you and so happy to see you bright and winning. You are right, you were one of the brightest (literally) person around.
    Love, Naomi (use to be Alden at the time)

  104. War and Peace

    Solace ~~

    Brilliantly articulated, how super to have you with us in this group.

    “We Come Back” Motto takes on a special meaning in this group.

    We met a few times when Sue Price was CO CMO PAC in early 1990.

    I will write to your Email address and tell you more…

    You mentioned you didn’t want to tell stories that would enturbulate and upset us, but as a matter of fact INT BASE horror stories blow a lot of charge to those who has rough SO experiences.

    The reason it blows charge is previous to reading these Sea Org historical anecdotes, one always believed that SELF was the bad guy.
    It is only when you learn that these things were endemic, deeply rooted in the Culture of the SO by DM’s Base orders, Verbal orders, and Sheer Whimsical Sadism ~~ only when reading other’s tales, can one get a wider view of the whole scene. It causes release of introverted wrong WHYs and WHOs one gave one’s self.

    I encourage you to tell your stories. You have a captive audience.

    War and Peace

  105. Martin Gibson

    Welcome home Lana, very nice to meet you.
    Thankyou so much for standing tall.

    Sometimes I feel inspired and don’t quite get the exact why on it. But the inspiration occurs, I feel alive, and my day opens up. That happened today.

    Marty I want to communicate that concept to you and hopefully you enjoy the way its couched.

    Here is a poet that inspires… physiologically causing one to breath in. But at the same time to recoil, rethink and reason.
    I know you have an interest in hip-hop, and I hope this is new and interesting. Even if its not my communication would still have achieved its point of acknowledgement.
    Some people may not get whats going on, but they can thank you one day, mostly because you are imparting understanding, and thereby providing the where-with-all for that to occur.

    the poet:

    the lyrics:,Coded-Language.html

    a mix:

  106. I just loved that statement!

  107. martyrathbun09

    I think I was in on that RPF operation too Lana.

  108. martyrathbun09

    Roberto, thank you. For staying strong, and persevering with encouraging others to get strong.

  109. Roberto — Thank you for setting an example for all to see of not being effect of the attempted suppression aimed at you. It is reprehensible. But if you have a clean heart and maintain your personal integrity, there is nothing anyone can do to shake you. I dont believe you need anyone to tell you this — you are living it. But it deserves being said publicly. Usted es fuerte!

  110. Lana — I don’t believe we ever met as I had left the SO in ’80 and was public but at Flag until ’93. However, you seem very familiar … perhaps its the shining warm person that is obvious from your story and comments – and the great picture.

    How wonderful that you are now living a life of your dreams and your making, with family and children around.

    And now this wonderful community created by the honesty and integrity of Marty — and the others.


  111. Many on this thread have commented on the renaissance that is occurring among able theta beings, Michael, Ralph, Roberto, many. Jack Airey pointed up the THETA in this thread.

    Well, as I was reading through the postings and Lana’s responses to them last night before I went to bed, especially the ones on postulates, I had a cognition. OTs DO, they really do, better among OTs. So much better, it spreads and seems to rehab native abilities in any person, no matter what case they may be under. LRH had that effect on others.

    It’s really ‘cooincidental’ that following Marty’s post of the excerpt from the PDC tape, ARC/Force/Be Do Have, and now with Lana’s amazing posts, that I personally got a definite boost up above the force band, into the postulate band.

    I read that tape lecture decades ago, it was one of those lectures that spoke directly to me at that time, immediately following being declared and in turmoil over what to do about it.

    Since then I’ve done up through and past OT III. I have confronted and have gone through a lot of force, give and take, in all that time. And last night, reading these posts, being aware of this level of theta and the incredible life represented here, among all these wonderful OT beings (no matter what the ‘case level’) I sort of eased on up to where I’ve gotten to; I have arrived at postulates. Maybe just arrived, and a baby at this level, but, there nonetheless.

    I find myself among giants, and they make me bigger. Wow. This is cool as sh#!.

  112. Hey Lana, I always thought you were a very good person and I was good friends with Phillip your husband. We played basketball all of the time.

    I remember why you were removed from the Galley and the whole flap connected to it. This was around the time I left. I remember thinking how could that possibly be and if she was really that bad and “bent on the destruction of Scn” why would she be trying to do so from a cooks position. Anyways like most things it was just a bunch of crap and you were the easiest target.

    I was with Phillip for a bit at the ranch before he went to the RPF in PAC. Again he is really a good guy and I hope he is teaching his sons to play basketball!!

    Good Luck.


  113. Lana,

    Ah, another plant lover. I grossly overspend every year on plants. Because we cut down five large shade trees last summer, I’ve been spending most of my spare moments moving shade-loving plants to the shade and replacing them with the sun worshipers. I bought and planted several hundred annuals and perennials so far this year.

    My favorites right now are cultivars of heuchera: large colorful leaves with a wide range of hues. I love the color flowers bring to the garden, but dead heading the spent blooms is sooooooo time consuming. Especially if you’re looking at hundreds of plants. I just came in from three hours of dead heading salvia.

    We’ve got a large koi pond with waterfalls so I also get to mess with water plants.

    You strike me as a being with lots and lots of free theta. Free theta natively understands. And free theta can originate postulates.

    Every thetan’s postulates stick. It’s just that a lot of thetans are stuck in their postulates or someone else’s postulates as effect. And not understanding postulates any more, stuck in the misunderstanding about postulates, the thetan tries to get the brain, or the valence or the mind or his “soul” to make a postulate, then wonders why they don’t stick. But these things can’t make a postulate. Only a thetan can.

    And because your postulates are working as knowing cause….


  114. Hi Solace,
    Thank You for standing up and sharing your story. It is very appreciated. I would like to acknowledge all the work you did and tried to do, but were kept from doing in furthering LRH. I am also thankful that you are still doing so now, in continuing to use LRH. It is certainly an unfinished task for all of us.
    There was one thing that caught my eye on this post that I was hoping you, or for that matter, anyone who would know, just what is the “Code Of Conduct of RTC”. What is the source of this, is it an LRH issue, and when was it issued, any background. Your feelings you relate about it would lead me to suspect it was not.
    Thank You and good work.

  115. Mockingbird6

    I remember that amnesty cycle as a public. I was told by different terminals that I should “write up my O/W’s” and accept the amnesty. My answer was that I didn’t have anything to write up and the LOOKS I got in response were enough to make me look in and wonder if I really had done s/g?

    Now I wonder if DM was just trying to get dirt on people that he could use as blackmail later (particularly from a few people who at that time were purported to have been members of a tax protest group–and DM had just made this deal with the tax people to have the church be “tax auditors.”) Hmmm!!

  116. Lana,

    That story just cut me to the heart. Having adult daughters myself (and a mother, of course!), I wept when reading this. In the past, I have had the opinion that dm had an utter disregard for the 2nd dynamic, but that’s not the case. I believe he has contempt for it because he is terrified by it. It is, in his mind, a threat to his survival on a huge scale.

    This only validates, in my view, that the second dynamic is not only the source of continuing life, but a significant source of love, strength, hope and pure theta in our lives.

    Being the source of renewal of these life-sustaining elements, I guess that would make it dm’s version of “evil”and a target for destruction. Your win against the suppression of that dynamic was clearly “the greatest good.”

    I hope you realize your own rightness and your own wisdom the next time you hold those beautiful children of yours!

  117. CD,
    Actually, if you re-read the PDC quote on the thread just before this one, it was more like that. We as Sea Org members faced up to and in large measure got through the ‘force band’. We’re getting our bearings again, in a new state of being.

    We have lived the scene as described by LRH in that tape. Regained a confront and ability with force, the strength to be soft. The power of source. The might of light.

    There is a way out, it is through, and that’s where we’ve been.

    Read the excerpt again…the way out is through.

  118. Mcgwire,

    I’ve talked to Lana and others who are out about that whole incident you mention involved in the flap and it definitely was a wrong why – as usual just as “The blind leading the blind” is the wrong why for GAT; being a situation in itself.

  119. Keep up the good work, Amigo!

  120. John Peeler


    So good to see you’re out of the nightmare, and living your life to the fullest. Tell Mitch I said hello! We were roommates when I blew in 2000, and so, I hope that my actions didn’t cause the two of you any trouble. If it did, I’m so sorry for that. But I’m sure you understand at this point that I had to do what I had to do.

    A friend of mine shared a quote with me that I found truly inspiring and I wanted to share it with you. I hope it continues to inspire…

    Love, John

    “The greatest achievement is selflessness. The greatest worth is self-mastery. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. The greatest precept is continual awareness. The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything. The greatest action is not conforming with the world’s ways. The greatest magic is transmuting the passions. The greatest generosity is non-attachment. The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind. The greatest patience is humility. The greatest effort is not concerned with results. The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.”

    Atisha (11th century Tibetan Buddhist master)

  121. Beautiful qoute. Something for when I am done living. I am being cheeky.

    “There is only one way, really, to get into a state of living, and that’s live! There is no substitute for an all-out, over-the-ramparts, howling charge against life. That’s living. Living does not consist of sitting in a temple in the shadows and getting rheumatism from the cold stones. Living is hot, it’s fast, it’s often brutal! It has a terrific gamut of emotional reactions.
    If you are really willing to live, you first have to be willing to do anything that consists of living. Weird. But it’s one of those awfully true things that you wonder why one has to say it. And yet it has to be said.”

    L. Ron Hubbard

  122. Roberto glad you stuck around. I see fields of help develop around every person that declared independance.

  123. Hi Mr B — The RTC Code of Conduct was written by Shelly Miscavige on the order of her husband DM. It was implemented in 1994 if I remember rightly. It was not based on LRH polcy — it was based on the view that RTC is supposed to be Internal Affairs for Scientology and therefore the staff within that unit must not be open to corruption or undue influence from others. It included, in addition to the “almost cold” policy to others, rules on RTC staff not catching rides home with other org staff (if you had missed the org transport and had no other way of getting home), fraternising or talking to others from other orgs about anything socially, etc.

  124. No, I only went to Flag once, with the Int Honour guard at Sea Org Day in 1993. I became famous that day as after months of verbal torment from DM (I had become the source of practical jokes) I fainted face-forward onto a carpeted cement floor and broke both jaws, etc. Anyone at Flag would remember me — as I had been ordered to stand, with others, at the front of teh stage, facing outwards to the crew, at ease for 2 hours. Almost 2 hours through, the fact that I had virtually no sleep the night before (DM put us on all hands), the fact that the AC was broken and the fact that I had gone PTS, had me collapse and require ambulance removal – right in the middle of the Sea Org Day ceremony.

  125. Lana,

    My pleasure, will take you up on your invite one of these days. One thing about DM is that he is the best recruiter for the galley and quite a few good people who were busted ended up there.

    With a bit of KRC, all were gotten to produce thereby raising their morale and winning again. No better task master than hungry people demanding your product.

    Your comment …”the “Code Of Conduct of RTC” oppressive and very hard to follow. We were all to be “almost cold” to all staff outside RTC and there was certainly to be no laughing or smiling or ARC. …” reminds me of an incident which bothered me and hadn’t really analyzed.

    After being personal Chef for DM and Shelly for a while, Shelly invited me to the RTC Xmas party to receive an RTC Xmas gift and bonus. This must have been a while ago in the ’90s when there were Xmas parties for the whole base. The RTC party was in a separate room (Officer’s lounge in MCI dining hall) with better food and drinks than the rest of the base.

    It was a total culture shock for me. All these guys and gals who always gave me the cold shoulder were smiling, friendly and completely in-ARC treating me like one of their own. It threw me for a loop as it was quite surreal and I hadn’t realized that there were different shocking beingness or roles played. It really threw me a loop and I was not comfortable at all as was overwhelmed by too much theta. My impression was that these good people had to withhold theta and was happy not to.

    I believe that this so called beingness which is supposed to be a SO Missionaire “unlimited ethics powers and ethics presence,” type stems from DM as when he and Shelly were at ASI in the 80’s, I perceived a similar type of aloofness of that Org’s staff.

    Looking forward to shrimp on the barbie or whatever is on the menu! 😉

  126. Hi Laura,
    Great to hear from you. Been a long time!
    Cheers- Lana

  127. Thank you Roberto — Yes — the use of pc folders to try and silence people is one of their most popular tricks and they haev used it on every person that speaks out, and also every person who may be thinking of doing so.
    Keep up the great work you are doing!

  128. Naomi!!! Great to hear from you!!
    There was actually another story that was hiding behind this one too. Just a few months before this 1993 incident I had my first personal encounters with DM. I had only been on the base for about 6 months, and he had been away a fair bit. On his return, Bitty was CO CMOI after Mark Yager had been removed, and DM was doing one of his daily walk-throughs of Del Sol.
    I was standing at the photocopier as he came up the stairs (I remember it as clear as day!) adn he stopped on the landing, turned to me, and asked me what my name was. We had never met until that point. I said my name was Lana. He responded by turning to Bitty and with a grin said ” We will call her Layna!” and walked off. I saw him virtually each day for a week after that, and every time he saw me he would grin and say “Hello Layna!” and Bitty adn his entourage would laugh.

    I got quite upset about the fact that he was intentionally mispronouncing my name and was using it as a way to poke fun at me. Each time he did it I would blush, or seemingly respond in some way which he found very amusing.

    I did not understand, as a relatively new int base staff member, what it was all about. I knew COB was virtually God to all staff there — so it really troubled me that this was occurring.

    I spoke to Melita Guider about it, who was a good friend at the time, and she said he had done a similar thing to her when she first arrived. She told me it was a test and I had to get my TRs and simply tell him how to pronounce my name the right way. So… I literally drilled and drilled myself to do it, and I anxiously waited for a moment when he was close by and I could approach adn communicate without it being really off the rails.

    The opoportunity came on the night of Sea Org Day at the Int base. We were all down at teh lake having the after-event party (that used to occur before SO Day was nixed) and I approached him and excused myself for speaking and told him that my name was Lana, not Layna. He just smiled and said OK — and walked off.

    I was overjoyed. Literally over the moon. I considered I had “passed the test”. I had gotten my TRs in, and the joke was over (or so I thought).

    Later that week, after we had been up for days (as you correctly remember) and we landed in CW and were ordered up all night to help on exhibit set-ups, I was crossing the Great Ballroom floor and DM and Bitty and the entourage was standign on the mezzanine above me adn looking down. He boomed out in the loudest possible voice “Hello Layna!!!”.

    I crumpled. the test was not over. The practical jokes were not over. There was more.

    A few hours later I was back-stage before the Flag SO Day event started and was getting ready for the event to start. I ran into COB coming out of the green room and he again gave a grin and said “Hello Lana! (this time saying it right)”.

    It might sound very innocent on the surface but the whole game was really twisted. It was introverting and I found it upsetting. When I had later fainted and was hospitalised the first card I received was from DM and it said “I hope the name calling did not upset yo” — so he knew the whole time what effect the game was having.

    He then told me that he would get me the best plastic surgeons in America to fix my face (luckily this was not needed in the end) and three months later he had promoted me to RTC. Go figure.


  129. Mcgwire — thank you very much.

    Yes, when I was offloaded from the base I was told many things that made no sense at all. I had affluence stats — two commendations from Shelly just months before, etc. They needed a fall-guy. They needed a clay pigeon — and as a former RTC staff member I fit the bill.

    Mitch is well. He has been playing basketball (though I have not, as I have instead had two pregnancies to contend with). He lovs to ride bicycles and he is teaching my oldest how to ride a bike with training wheels at the moment — which is fantastic!

    Please do email me. Would love to talk.
    Cheers- Lana

  130. Thanks for that John — and I apologise for any mishandlings of you personally. I know you have posted stories about me in the past, recounting being yelled at and mishandled.

    I truly apologise.

    I hope you are well and loving life on the outside.


  131. Lucy — I want to say that working with you in 1989 was THE BEST. I considered you a role model to emulate. I was so sad when you were taken away.

    And I was horrified when I read your story on what occurred in the later years. Truly HORRIFIED!

    Please do email me. I would love to catch up and send you some pictures of my boys.

    Cheers- Lana

  132. Lana,
    Last I heard, and this data a number of years old, was that Bruce was in Iowa somewhere.

  133. Hi Lana! I’m sorry for what you went through ~ but congratulations on your new-found happiness with your husband and kids!!! 🙂

  134. Hi Solace,
    Thank You for your reply, I very much appreciate your information. There would be number of glaring out points to this code, that could be highlighted. I will leave it to others to share their experience, and views. I will point up one that came to mind, out of many, to get the ball rolling. I would like to see it in its entirety, to go through it point by point however. With that said it looks like that it is a code in cross orders at least if not in full blown opposition to the actual codes, PL, and Tech developed by the founder and source of Scientology, and the SO- LRH. That DM and Shelly would develop such a code that attacks the very core of the codes developed by LRH is very telling, as if we here need any more proof, but none the less here it is.

  135. Theo Sismanides

    Hi Lana, yes arbitraries! No surprise. I am honored you are with us, same for Lisa Hamilton. Integrity is what will count now.

  136. Theo Sismanides

    This is great on the postulates! One day we will be collecting all those important posts and categorizing them and writing on each subject for further understandings.

    Michael and Lana, you opened up a rather fundamental issue.

  137. Mike Hobson

    In the Roman Catholic Church, any priest who were to violate the sanctity of the Confessional in such a way, would be punished by being shipped off to a monastery and sworn to a vow of silence, if not immediately defrocked and possibly even ex-communicated, if the harm caused by the revelation were serious enough.

    DM has habitually committed possibly the highest crime possible in Scientology – making it unsafe for anyone to confess, thereby precluding any case gain for them thereafter.

    Michael A. Hobson

  138. Another Layer


    Congratulations on all that you have accomplished! And thanks so much for telling your story. This is just a stellar community!

    It’s an amazing privilege to experience all of this theta, and to learn the truth behind the current CoS “culture” (or lack thereof …).

  139. Hi Roberto,
    Hang in there! Good on you for not going the effect of their goofy shenanigans…And I just have to tell you that this story makes me grateful that they lost my folders and my husband’s folders! LOL…

  140. Wow! Thanks for this!

  141. John Peeler

    Thanks for that Lana!

    I had go back through my earlier postings to find out what I had ever said about you. It’s okay! I know you were just doing your job, the way DM and others expected you to. Believe me, the base briefing about Tal, Winston and I from DM, and the aftermath of hell, was MUCH worse than anything you ever did.

    One of the reasons I started speaking out years ago was because I felt bad for a lot of the things I was personally involved in as an MAA and De-PTSer – the enforced disconnections, the monitoring of personal mail and phone calls, over-boardings, my contribution to the Int Data Base, and the general attitude and handling of good people who were deemed to be “in bad” with the group – the “threats,” “Hill 10 makers,” non-producers and “deadwood.” From my MAA position, I contributed to that scene at the Base that DM instilled there, from RTC down. Use of intimidation and fear tactics to enforce production.

    One of the main FO’s that kept being pushed on MAA’s from RTC to enforce was the one titled “Forcing in the Ideal Scene.” From your experience in RTC, was this one of Dave’s favorite or “pet” FO’s or something? We were expected to apply that one with almost ruthless force.

    I know that this thread is full of great comments, and I hope this isn’t muddying up the vibe here, but rarely do we hear about what it was like internally in RTC and how that atmosphere spread. Even from my POV as a Base staff member, I thought RTC staff were pretty much Dave’s favorites and assumed you guys were treated much differently. Your comments are very enlightening.

    Thank you for coming out Lana, and I hope and encourage you to tell your story. Someone here said you have a captive audience. You sure do, and from the position you held at the Base, I’m sure you have a lot to say that will shed even more light about life there under the little dictator.


  142. Thought Provoking


  143. Thought Provoking

    Give ’em hell, Roberto! 😉

  144. Wow, Lana! Thank you so much for this, and for being here! 🙂

  145. Lana,thank you for sharing your story, what a ride.OK your here now and very much alive, have fun with those boys!

  146. Thanks to you Mr. Rinder.

    Without the courage of people like all of you Ex-Int SO members we would be unable to see how far south this has become.

    My heart is crystal clear. One of the clearest of the planet.

    My life not quite so. I´m not a role model. But I have helped fellow man for real and nothing can change that and nobody will shut me up.

    They don´t shake me because popularity and agreement is not a interest item for me. I do not care how much they black PR my name.

    I know who I am.
    The good, the bad and the ugly.

    Thanks Mike and lets cary on our basic purpose.

    That purpose that we all have since much, much before Scientology.

    You know what I mean.


    Roberto Sánchez Núñez

  147. You open my eyes this time dude and you know it.


  148. Yes.

    It must be good for the ones who are not yet public independents to count on this fields of help.

  149. Solace:

    They can use them. Yes, yes they can serve themselves all the way long…

    As far as I´m concened they can post in the internet each pinche page of each session of each folder of my case.

    I have no attention on it.
    No attention on my past to be precise.
    No attention on what I have done or has been done to me.


    They can post my life but they will not make me do the same never. I will never post ANY of all the details I know about high LATAM SO members, nothing about what I know about Lisa Mc Person´s case, nothing on any pc I have audited…



  150. You have nothing to fear even if they have you folders or the folders of all your ancestors for that matter…

    Which sane and kind human being will give impotance to what they say anyway?


  151. Lana,

    I remember when you were put on as CO CMO PAC.

    I was staff at AOLA.

    I had an occasion to have a conversation with you, and I really *really* liked you.

    A *lot*.

    I remember thinking, “Here’s a sensible down to earth girl who is running this place. Thank god.”

    When you got removed, I was very upset.

    I saw you a few years later when you were down from RTC on a mission, and it was like you were a different person. Solid and dark.

    But lots of people who I knew in PAC who went up were like that when I saw them again, so it didn’t surprise me. Just made me sad.

    I’m so glad how things turned out for you.

    I’m Irish, not Australian. And I really don’t know why I’m saying this to you. But it just seems appropriate, some how.

    An Irish blessing.

    “May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind always be at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face,
    and rains fall soft upon your fields.
    And until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

  152. War and Peace

    Dear Lana,

    Thank you for setting a good example. This is Sea Org History in the making.

    Many good wishes, high fives and a champagne toast.

    War and Peace

  153. TheEmperorIsNaked

    Welcome back Roberto. Good to hear from you.

    You are right that this is the church shooting themself in the foot. With this activity they announce that “in session” is a thing of the past. All the careful work LRH did to get the Bridge in place and auditors trained and PCs willing to talk to their auditor because it was finally SAFE, undone by DM. And trust violated is VERY hard to regain.

    And I am afraid the fact that you have overts, only makes you in-R with the rest of us. Even if someone outwardly acts as if there is something wrong with you – inside, they are thinking “I’ve done crap like that too”. 🙂

  154. Oh Sinar! I remember that Christmas party well — in the MCI Officer’s Lounge. I had been busted (one of several busts) and I had been in the galley scrubbing out grease bins or something really gross. It was Christmas and the whole of RTC were celebrating in the Officer’s Lounge when the HAS (Darnelle) came running into the Galley and told me to quickly go and get changed and go to the Lounge. I ran to my temporary berthing near the swamp, cleaned up as best I could, put on the best clothes I had (which was not much as I was restricted to the base and had been on heavy MEST work) and then ran back to the Officer’s Lounge. Once there, all sweaty and still greasy, COB came up to me and patronisingly said to me “Merry Christmas” and handed me the org gift for that year. Considering the last time he had spoken to me had been a belittling and introverting tear down, and then a post removal and order to heavy MEST work, I stood there, confused.

    I remember you being there, and I felt completely awkward and out of place. I was in bad graces but had been ordered to come and celebrate with the rest of the crew, who did not want to have anything to do with me as I was in bad graces — and I was to smile and act grateful for it all. Yuck — it was the pits!
    I would have been happier back in the Galley, continuing to scrub.

    Shrimp on the barbie it is — or maybe lamb — as I am a far way from the sea.

  155. Hi John,
    From my perspective life in RTC was wonderful up until 1993. I don’t know what changed at that time. Maybe it was the whole INCOMM flap that had half of RTC off post for 6 months — or maybe it was some other trigger (such as the IAS win), but in early 1994 the org board for RTC was put into review and was in flux for years afterwards. People were on posts that were not reflected on the new org board, or on new posts that were not reflected on the old one. It was a strange time. The Code of Conduct was implemented at that time as well as other things. From that point life in RTC was far from enjoyable. DM was away for long periods of time, we had Bitty at the helm for a long period and it all got pretty psycho.

    From what I understand, it has just continued from that point.

    In 1996 or 1997 the whole of RTC was assigned Liability as a tax evader had drawn up and issued a golden rod SP declare on DM and he went totally loopy about this. The whole org was punished for not having jumped on this guy and handled the hell out of it.

    Since that time, per the information I have, RTC has never been upgraded from lower conditions as an org. So that gives you a bit of an idea…

    RTC had over 50 staff when I arrived in 1993. It now has around 10. Alot of staff have been busted, kicked out, etc. etc. And these were supposidly the best of the best.

    Go figure.

    Cheers- Lana

  156. lulu belle,
    please do email me at
    Would love to chat.
    Cheers- Lana

  157. Actually — it’s


  158. Hi Lana,
    Thanks for that side of the story. I did not know that part. Amazing how this behavior and what you describe as the “RTC code of conduct” are completely contrary to anyting LRH ever wrote about Messenger beingness.
    (And I’m thinking “another huge catergory of outpoints I did not ack. No wonder no one can use Data Series in that place.)
    Love, Naomi

  159. Doc "Smith"

    Lana, it’s so great to see your smiling face. Though we’ve all had growing pains on this road to theta, and some been through more hell than others, I feel we’re in a really fabulous place now.
    I’ve always gotten a calm vibe from your posts. Thanks for being here.

  160. martyrathbun09

    Solace said: “DM was away for long periods of time, we had Bitty at the helm for a long period and it all got pretty psycho.” Please don’t anyone infer anythying about Bitty with regard to this. I know, I was at the helm too when he was away; and in many ways it was worse than if he were there. You received dozens of abusive, denigrating, profanity laced calls a day from him per day when he is away and you are at the helm. He then has office staff come down the hill with a transcript of the call and demand you do EXACTLY what he said, all fifty self crossing orders, at once. Then you get dozens more calls demanding compliance of his psychotic orders. Then you get fifty more cross orders. Bitty will someday confirm that I am not exaggerating in the slightest here.

  161. MissBridgett

    I am inspired by your story and your photo just radiates the beautiful being that you are. Keep shining!


  162. Thanks Marty.

    Totally agreed — and apologies to Bitty for any inference.

  163. Concerned Citizen


    Just thought I mention that “Forcing in the ideal scene is not an FO but a CBO, and it is an INT Level only CBO to boot.

    I think it is one top exces were definitly mis applying, but the reference in itself is pretty OT.

    It really says you mnake things go right regardless of what comes your way. Since it was a bit more strongly worded than normal, I can see COB using it to justify his wierd brand of command.

  164. John Peeler

    Thanks Lana for the background info! I had a feeling that there was a “Code of Conduct” in RTC because the day after Melanie was promoted, she changed from day to night. Literally. She went from being a very sweet and loving wife, to being very cold towards me, especially in public. She even refused to hold my hand or give me a little kiss. I asked her why she suddenly changed and her response was that it would go against the “ethics presence” an RTC staff member was supposed to uphold. Would love to hear more about what the Code consisted of. Sounds like it was later revised to include no RTC staff member getting married or having a 2D with anyone in a lower org, as well as enforced divorces by DM.

    And Marty, I can imagine that things were still insane without DM being at the base for periods of time. Definitely not all Bitty’s fault. I was there. I remember being in PDO or other areas when he would call in, always over speaker phone, and dish out orders, or yell and scream at people to get certain things done. Or just to call and give a serious face ripping. Always recorded. Always transcribed. Always word cleared. With that memorable DO NOT COPY in red letters across the top. It was a mad house, and we were all brainwashed to comply to DM’s orders “over dead bodies.” Thanks for your input on this Marty.

    Concerned Citizen, thanks for the correction. Yes, CBO! Sorry for the mix up on that. I knew it was an Int only policy. And a used as a tool to mow over those “howling SP’s” to get production targets done. DM lived it to the letter. Even amped it up to eleven. As far as it being OT, I don’t know. I imagined that being OT had little to do with force and more to do with ARC and ease of making postulates stick. Being in tune with the energy that binds the universe together so to speak. IMO, something as powerful as Scientology (the universal answer and truth) should have it’s own power to prevail over a mere SP. Maybe this was LRH’s way to make “OT’s” out of Homo Sap with a command?

    The more and more truth that comes out, and is coming out, the more the insanity of Co$ will as-is.

  165. Pingback: Scientology Celebrity "Snitch" Culture Is A Sight To Behold; Leah Remini Confirms Tom Cruise Is An Asshole... What Really Happened At His Wedding - Scientology Bollocks

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