Keepin’ it real on Fathers Day

A Happy Fathers Day to all you dads. While finding the celebratory nature of today’s post takes some application of intelligence, I think it is very fitting for this day.  A mother and father to-be whose family is being split asunder, at the direction of a missionaire being run directly by Miscavige, on the eve of the birth of their first child. The strength of a couple in dire circumstances deciding that to keep it  pent up inside is not the pro-survival choice. I hope you will read this post and express some support and postulates for them, since those of their family are being suppressed out of existence.  Ultimately, I believe the process is completely appropriate for this day; affording us the opportunity to  help one another make our family dynamics whole. Valeska and Chris, you humble me; in a good way. – Marty

This is the first in a series of postings from Valeska and Chris Guider. They left the Sea Org on 23 August 2009.  Valeska is a Grad VA auditor and was a Staff Staff Auditor on the Freewinds. Chris is a Class IX auditor who was formerly Inspector General MAA and Gold MAA. Some of their insights were covered in the earlier article “Ship of Fools.”  There is more to come, specifically concerning gross out ethics in the IAS and other information exposing the off-policy criminality of Dear Leader and his Church of MEST.  They are welcomed to the Independent Scientology community! Mike Rinder


Enough is enough. I simply cannot take the lies and the constant denials from church officials concerning disconnection.

My name is Valeska Guider (nee Paris).  My sister Melissa recently posted a declaration on Scientology-cult website that recounted her experiences with disconnection in our family. I share much of that, but also have other experiences and information that should be made known.

When I was 6 years old my parents divorced. I had been living in Switzerland with my younger sister, (Melissa) and baby brother, Raphael.  My father ended up with full custody and decided to join the Sea Org in England at Saint Hill. We travelled to England in September 1984, my mother came with us to drop us off. We got onto a blue broken down mini bus to travel to berthing.  My mom told us she was going to the canteen to get a coffee. She left and never came back.

We arrived at Stonelands Sea Org berthing. None of us kids spoke English and my father’s was broken at best. We found our way to the dining room that had holes in the ceiling and I got food poisoning and threw up that whole night. My father, brother, sister and I were all put in the same single bed. We missed our mom and were totally homesick. The next day my dad started on the EPF and we were put in the Cadet Org and put on MEST work with the other kids. (This chapter is focused on disconnection, so I am not getting into the sordid details of the Cadet Org here, Melissa’s write up contains some details of this time.)

For the first couple of years we had family time, and would see my dad for 2 hours a day (combined dinner and family time). However in 1986 family time was cancelled and no adults then came to Stonelands for dinner so we barely ever saw our dad after that. He would come home very late at night when we were sleeping and we would get up to go to school when he was sleeping.

After about a year my mother came to Stonelands to visit. She saw how gross the living conditions were and was horrified. She tried to get us back to move with her to the States near Flag. She was told we were future Sea Org members and she was out ethics for trying to get us and that she would be declared an SP if she persisted. She tried several times and was sent to ethics, threatened again with declare and eventually gave up. We visited my mother for the summer holidays and we loved this.  It was a different world: proper food and a room with heating and no leaks. We dreaded going back to England but we loved our Dad.

In 1992 when I was 14, we all went to the US to see my Mom for the summer holidays and I decided to join the Sea Org at Flag. It was great. Flag was much better than Stonelands and I would spend every other Saturday with her.  My mother is an OT VIII Class XII auditor.

But then, on Dec 11th 1995 everything changed.

That was the day my step father, Albert, committed suicide following a series of gross mishandlings from the Church. He was found dead on his bed by my brother who was 6 years old at the time, (son of Albert and my mother). Albert had asked my mom to make his story known so that it would not happen to anyone else. Albert gave her his diary which included details of what he had been through and what he wanted done following his death. My mother was devastated. She went to the local Org in Switzerland and following Albert’s wishes she demanded money back on his behalf and that the Scientologists he had loaned money to pay it back. This is perfectly normal and covered by LRH in the Chaplains Court policy. Instead, the Church sued my mother for black mail and tried to have her put in jail.  This went nowhere as she had done nothing wrong. The Church went all the way to the Swiss Supreme Court and of course they lost. She then went on TV and provided evidence on what had happened. She was now considered an SP and the Scientologists still have not paid the money back. I was at Flag when this happened and OSA Flag used me to try and “handle” my mother. Of course they did not tell me the truth about what had happened and told me my mom was an SP attacking the Church for no reason. I was ordered to disconnect from my mom.  I was 17 at the time and this was pretty hard as I really love her but I did it as this was “the ethical thing to”. OSA Flag also made my mom out to be a villain which is something that the Church does with anyone who steps out of line:  that individual is suddenly “all bad” and always has been.  Just look at what they do now with anyone who speaks out.

When my mom came back from Switzerland in September 1996, I was ordered to the Ship by David Miscavige to get me away from my mom.  I had no forewarning. I was woken 1 hour before my plane was leaving and not able to take any of my personal belongings with me other than a small bag. I was told that I would be at the ship for 2 weeks: I ended up being there for 12 years. I hated it and wanted to go back to Flag. I got in trouble for this and was put in the engine room until I “had a cognition” . I had to report to the Captains office, where Mike Napier yelled at me that I had no choice but to stay on the Ship. I was miserable. For the first 6 months I was not allowed to step off the Ship in case my mom was on one of the Islands to get me! I was also not allowed to take holidays off the Ship. I missed my family terribly and was informed by the Security Chf International that my only choice was to get my family in good standing to come and visit me on the Ship.

In 1997 my sister came to the Ship for her honeymoon. The day before she left I was 1/2 hour late back on post — I was pulled up to Mike Napier’s office, yelled at, removed from post and put on the decks for 6 months and restricted to the Ship.

For the first 8 years I was not allowed off the Ship without an escort in case my mom was on one of the islands. I finally got this changed in 2004 by talking to the Security Chief.

In 2002 my sister was declared for connecting with my mom. I was pulled into HCO and shown her SP declare and ordered to disconnect from her. I foolishly did as not disconnecting was not an option and was “suppressive”.

In 2007 a man whose marriage had been on the rocks for at least 7 years had an interest in me and was working on getting me interested in him. 8 months later I did and we had comm cycles about being together in the future. He was in progress of getting a divorce. Our actions were incorrect and resulted in me being assigned to the Engine Room. I saw the guy a few times and we talked when we were not supposed to, though we never touched or did anything physical. I was accused by Sue Price ( CO CMO) and Lurie Belotti (RTC Rep) of “breaking up the marriage” even though he had trouble for 7 years before he even met me and I was the 2nd woman he had created something with. 

At this point the Basics had been released and we were getting no sleep until we made our booksales quota. I was a Staff Staff Auditor, and me and every other crew member was on booksales, often through the entire nite!

One night Lurie Belotti asked me if I was the reason that this guy had moved out of his room into a dorm. I had no idea what she was going on about and just said “yes” as I was not interested in talking to her. She sent me to the Engine Room for 48 hours straight! This is after weeks of an average of 3 hours sleep a night trying to meet insane booksales quotas. At about 4am I just blacked out against a machine and was found 4 1/2 hours later by an engineer who shook me till I came to. I was then put back to work for another day and night without sleep and then back on post the day after that. And I was expected to audit.

This guy and I spoke again and I got taken off post and put in the Engine Room full time. I was put in this small room by myself with a camera monitoring my movements. A security guard escorted me anywhere I went, I had to eat in the engine room and was not allowed to eat in the control room because it was air conditioned. I was not allowed to work with anyone so I was alone at all times. All as ordered by Sue Price and Lurie Belotti, those soulless husks of humanity. I was miserable and wanted out. I started going in session on a Sec check with an auditor who was getting no sleep and would dope off in the session. I was in the engine room for almost 3 months full time.  I hated it and just wanted to get off the Ship, I was of course not allowed to call my family at all or talk to anyone. Towards the end I started making up overts to just get out of there. One day in early December I wore a ring on my finger and left it there to try and simulate a rockslam as I thought that would get me out of there faster.

In December 2007 I called my brother using another staff members’ cruise card which you need to call off the Ship.  Mine had been deactivated. I spoke to him for 1/2 an hour. I told him to call me back and it was discovered I had called him. I was yelled at by the Security Chief and the then Dir I&R and told I was suppressive and 1.1, this went on and on. I then had to write down everything I had told my brother. I was assigned to the RPF and informed if I did not go I would be declared.

I was supposed to be sent to Europe to do the RPF but refused. I was told I had no choice and they were going to declare me an SP. I didn’t care, I had enough. I wanted out right away and it was not happening so when I went in session I lied and said that I was suicidal, because I had seen enough people being kicked out for this. The same night Sue Price pulled me into the dining room and told me I looked terrible, she then said she knew I was lying about the suicide and proceeded to try and introvert me. Eventually she said she would send me to Australia if she could and I was happy about that. I was told the next day that I would be going to Australia and was just relieved to get off the Ship. I decided I would NEVER go back.

I left on Dec 25th which was one of the greatest reliefs I have ever experienced. I arrived to Australia and believe it or not I loved the RPF.  Despite all the restrictions, no pay from the Ship for 6 months and no PC folder till after I was done with all the auditing — it was heaven compared to what I had experienced the last months on the Ship. I completed the RPF in Nov 2008. I was posted in Australia and Sue Price and Lurie Belotti did not like this.  After booting me off the Freewinds and not paying me, now they demanded a replacement! They said they were going to send me to England, then to LA, and then threatened to have me escorted back to the Ship and be put in the Engine Room until there was a “replacement”.  CLO ANZO gave the Freewinds 3 staff but then that was not good enough. “Auditor’s don’t grow on trees” they said and demanded a Clear Grad V Auditor.

By this time I had a relationship with my current husband (Chris Guider who I had met on the RPF — he too had been sent to the ANZO RPF when he was considered a “security risk” ).  There was NO way I was going to go back to the Ship or be trafficked to where they wanted. A lot happened in this period which I won’t cover here. I married Chris — but apparently was supposed to have “OK” from Sue Price first!  Like she has any say in who I marry and when. This was a big flap and I was now in trouble yet again and was supposed to be sent back to the RPF.  We had had had enough and said we were leaving.  We finally routed out in late Aug 2009. We were in good standing and were given money “because I was going to have a baby” (I attribute this treatment to what has been happening on the internet and the fact that I know a lot of information about the Freewinds and the IAS, and Chris knows a lot about DM, Int and Gold).

I had not yet really fully seen the light, and I wanted to handle my sister and mom’s declare. So I got in communication with them.  We were then called by Marion Pouw who informed me I was violating Church policy by being in comm with my family.  My brother also got in comm with my mom and sister and OSA ordered him to disconnect. I refused to disconnect from my sister and mother so now my father and brother have both disconnected from me, my husband and my baby boy who will be born in the next 3 -4 weeks, though my dad expresses extreme upset about having to do this.

I have written comms from my dad. 

I also have written comms from Marion Pouw, who works directly for David Miscavige trying to clean up the messes he has created with lies.  In spite of whatever Tommy Davis says, or how the church tries to spin it, she clearly states that disconnection is the on policy thing to do.

I am writing this as I am sick of the blatant lies that the Church is telling the media with no shame or remorse.

Valeska Guider

164 responses to “Keepin’ it real on Fathers Day

  1. What a story! I am so glad you are away from all that.

    Best of luck to you both. In the end, theta wins.

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  4. Quicksilver

    Thanks for your story Valeska, and well done for making it out. I think you were at St Hill when my son was there … anyway, another time for that.

    I have no doubts your family will be reunited some day soon.

    I hope that hubby of yours has a great Father’s Day.

    Congrats on the baby … great news!

  5. Virgil Samms

    Thankyou for your story Valeska. This is human trafficing at its best. It is a wonder you are sane Valeska – after all of that. Your story makes Oliver Twist look like a breeze.

    The ogre has to be stopped. Sue Price has to be handled. She is the worst of the worst. I don’t know how people can live their lives like Sue and Lurie do. It has to be just miserable.

    Good grief.


  6. Valeska, thank you for this and welcome! It is only a matter of time before all the remaining social beings remove themselves from this insanity, leaving behind the real SPs, that tiny band of them, exposed and shattered. Your brother and your father will be with you soon; I can see it. The wheels are in motion and it is too late for DM and his cronies to stop it. Best wishes to you, to Chris, and the rest of your family, and of course to the wee one on its way! 🙂

  7. My God! It sounds worse than escape from Alcatraz. I am glad you made it out alive. It’s a pity nobody has done the crime that would get them such a sentence (murder).
    Welcome to Australia, you are not without supporters here.

  8. Holy Shit!!! Gotta say something here. The amount of suppression here is enormous. Marty keep up the great work as this is absolutely vile and evil. Happy fathers day to you and yours everyone.
    Good luck and get your family OUT!!!
    The walls will be a crashing down soon it seems, I really hope so. This has to end and DM has to pay for this.


  9. Sue Price seems to have forgotten her roots. Initially married to a man named Gus — she dumped him and married Bill Price. FBO CCLA — a nice man (then) could not have been found.

    She became the step mother to Seth (still imprisoned at Int – apparently in the RPF for ever more).

    Sue Price had a meteor like rise to the top.

    What I could NEVER understand is how Bill stayed married to the heir to the Wicked Witch of the West.

    She doesn’t have a kind bone in her body. But she did have big boobs.


  10. Watching Eyes

    Have you considered going to the authorities in whichever country you’re in and filing charges against the “church” for kidnapping, false imprisonment, forced labor, back wages owed and last but not least, human trafficking? Seriously. No statute of limitations has passed; this happened to you only last year!

    Are others being held captive on that ship?

    Thank God you and your husband are out.

  11. Thanks Valeska for your joining of our ranks. I know very well what you are talking about. Sue Price and Lurie are the very worst DM dogs on board, after them comes Mike Napier. Do well and count on me for whatever technical support.

  12. Something dm has NO clue about — most scientologists have an unbreakable bond with each other. No matter if they were fast friends or just acquaintances.

    And thanks to this blog and others … we are reconnecting.

    I heard from someone who knew me only a bit at CCLA for example.

    ANYWAY — I digress.

    And to Valeska:I knew your mother sometime around 1994 I believe — before Albert’s suicide. She was working as the receptionist for Ruth Valko’s consulting group. I was recovering from a serious spin and was doing call-in for her group.

    I don’t remember her name but she was definitely French, very thin and attractive and was an OT VIII. I didn’t know about the Class XII part.

    I later heard about Jacques death and the subsequent nightmare of one of his sons suing his step mother or something. (Albert’s wife at the time of his death). It was truly a sad mess. I knew him just a bit as public before this all feel apart and he was one of those wonderful larger than life figures.

    I’m so happy for you that you are able to reconnect with most of your family — and mostly that you are about to become a mommy — and Chris, a daddy.

    There is no greater joy!


  13. Happy Father’s Day to you Chris and to you Valeska, a Happy (belated) Mother’s Day.
    And a Happy Happy Future to all 3 of you.

  14. My best wishes to all the dads on planet Earth.

    And a big thank you to Valeska and Chris for their courage and bravery.

    Once again, we see true Scientologists coming into the Independent Field, where LRH would have wanted them to be, given the situations we now face.


  15. Valeska, I don’t even know where to begin. This entire experience is criminal. This is not a church period. This is a slave camp cloaking itself as a church.

    To those of you still in, look don’t listen. Anyone that supports this type of thing truly needs help themselves. There is no way to justify any of this…no way.

    Valeska the best to you, your husband and child.

    Love Carol

  16. Thought Provoking


    Thank you for sharing your story. As more and more people come forward the denials will be impossible to utter. You have already seen the result of the truth coming out as you completed your routing out, conditions are changing for the better and will continue to do so.

    Marty has created a safe space from which anyone who cares can communicate the truth of the SO, DM and his arbitrary policies. As more and more people come out there will be more documentation which will hold DM accountable for the resultant demise of Scientology and Scientologists.

    Thank you very much for helping to bring the truth to light. It brings everyone much closer to a time when disconnection will no longer exists and families can be together, when fathers can once again get to know and love their daughters and sons.

    May the future bring you much happiness and joy in life.

  17. wow, HAVE a great baby!

    I have only good wishes for you and Chris.

    Chris, in my opinion, was a damn good auditor, on the Int RPF, when he was the Int RPF In Charge.

    I forgot that Chris was a Class 9.

    Chris did my final final routing off the Int RPF (Happy Valley, November 2000) Security Check (I transferred from the Int to PAC RPF at that time, and the demotion to the PAC RPF required a Sec Check to leave the Int RPF, sheesh, first by an RTC approved Int Base Sec Checker, and then a final final sec check by Chris who was the Int RPF I/C), and surprisingly, that sec check was probably not like ANY of the crap shit harsh sec checking gang bang stuff done by people in earlier and later years. Chris was very decent, very smooth, not even the tiniest spect of the invalidative “swinish suspicion” misapplication FAD that had creeped into so much of people’s sec checking repertoire. Chris, thankyou for that final sec check, I appreciated your auditor beingness, and I forgot you were a Class 9, a good one in my opinion from the auditing I got from you.

    Have a great new life you guys!

    Best to you and Chris!

    Good for you guys!

    Chuck Beatty

  18. Watching Eyes

    I check this blog daily to see what’s new. To date we’ve heard every conceivable horror story short of outright murder & burying the bodies.

    After reading today’s post I find myself still thinking about what happened to Valeska. It’s actually slavery.

    I want others to come out and post their stories because I think it helps them and it helps get others out. That said, I’m to the point where I really want to know if anything is being done to stop these human rights violations.

    It seems to me that what’s needed is for Interpol to make a coordinated world-wide effort and raid every single CofM establishment. Any kids under 18 need to be yanked out. Parents do NOT have the right to sign away their kids into slavery even in the name of religion.

    Is anyone checking up on their slave camps in Australia? Is anyone getting with federal officials (national & international) to put an end to this madness?

    There comes a point where the law and justice have to come into play.

  19. Valeska/Chris,

    What an ordeal to have to go through as a child! I know your husband Chris; what a great guy! Unfortunately, my children went through something very similiar to yours, it haunts me to this day!

    I am so happy that Chris and you are expecting a child within the next few weeks. I wish the very, very best and wonderful news! Love, Jan

    PS Happy Fathers Day to the Dads out there!

  20. Thank you, Valeska, for your story and welcome to the free world! It will all settle down and your father will find his integrity and the family will be together! Chris, great to see you out, looking good and married to such a wonderful girl and about to be a father! As MAA you were truly a pain the ass. If you do even half as well at your current occupation, you’ll be filthy rich and do great!

  21. Marty — Paragraph 7 I put JACQUES instead of Albert – could you correct it for me please.


  22. Sounds like Sue Price and Lurie Belotti were groomed by Jenny Devoght.

    I reckon those are some gnarley critters from what I’ve been reading! Dudes with lipstick.

  23. Doc "Smith"

    Chris and Valeska, Thanks for posting this. I hope getting it out blew tons of charge for you. You have lots of friends out here to back you up. Anything you need just say the word.
    Your family will soon be back together. The evil will not prevail


  24. I don’t know you, I just feel great love and compassion. Thank you

  25. Thanks for speaking out. And congrats on the upcoming birth of your child.


  26. Veleska — I spent a few minutes rereading your sister’s story on Steve Hall’s website. I had to diagram the family ties 🙂 in order to kinda figure it out.

    But I think it must have been your step-mother Angela that I knew (sort of) …

    I’m not completely clear but the story of Albert, his suicide is just so tragic. Your lives as youngsters in the Sea Org in the UK is criminal. The forced disconnection is horrible.

    And still — you shine. You married a wonderful man and are about to have a baby (boy) …

    There are some beings who just cannot be held down, much to the utter surprise and dismay of people like dm.

    And those strong thetans, without doing ANYTHING TO
    the suppressor act as constant reminders of their impotence.

    And thus, the suppressor ultimately does himself in.

    It’s just a matter of time.



  27. Valeska,
    Your account of what occurred and what you had to endure is shocking. Thank you for communicating about it. Good on you for perservering throughout the emotional and physical torture. My heart is with you.

    I was so curious about your name, and then to see that you were married to Chris and are both out, and in Australia — I was thrilled.

    Please do email me. It is

  28. There is also something eerie about the way DM grooms the ladies into Dudes and and the men into acting like his ladies. This is sadism . Then he bitch slaps the men around. It’s like the Int Base has become a tranny factory.

  29. Mockingbird6

    I have seen other indications that the church is “cleaning up its act” because of the protests, even though the cleanup is only what they have to do to “appear” like the items protested don’t really exist.

    But every protester who has stood up publicly and every one behind every mask and every screen name and every act of “silent insurrection” should take a pat on the back.

  30. Theo Sismanides

    Valeska and Chris, welcome aboard and may from now on you find the sanity you were looking for as beings for you and your coming baby!

    Valeska you are a hero! No need to say much, you said everything there and it’s so suppressive to have treated you like that.

    It is human trafficking, I agree with Tom.

    Despite all the attrocities and sufferings you underwent, a brighter day dawns for all of us now with both of you coming out and getting together on this blog. I am sure both of you have a lot to say as you destim through living a good and pleasant life.

    We are not slaves, thank you Valeska and Chris.

  31. Virgil Samms

    “In every stage of these oppressions We Have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.”
    Thomas Jefferson – Declation of Independence.

    On the brighter side – Happy fathers day to all you dads!!

    “None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a Father who has not his equal in this world – so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don’t be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal.” — Queen Victoria of England

    ML Tom

  32. It seems that with every sunrise, new horns arise and add their trumpeting to the call for justice.

    And it seems that with every sunrise, Int is becoming more and more like Jerico.

  33. martyrathbun09


  34. This is a horrific story. I am so happy that you are out and creating a family and life outside of the pit of suppression that the SO has become. My postulates are that the rest of your family comes to their senses and reconnects.

    It dawned on me that once someone joins the SO, they are no longer an individual, they are considered less than human and controlled and abused. So sad.


  35. martyrathbun09

    What a validation. Thank you Chuck.

  36. Cowboy Poet

    “A tranny factory”…that is rich!

  37. martyrathbun09

    yeah, that is pretty clever.

  38. Way to go Valeska – what a toughie you are in endurance and persistence and helping your family as much as possible. Congratulations on your coming son – he may be the magnet that draws in the rest of your family.

    Belated comm to Lana Mitchell – well done for engineering the soaring improvements in your life and your family. DM is probably furious with you!

    Another belated comm to Lisa Hamilton – so well done on holding the HCO line and producing those good products as much as you could in spite of suppression. DM is probably furious with you too because if you were that effective inside, having you outside is definitely a scary deal!

    And a belated comm to JR – loved your escape story, harrowing though it was, and good for you for helping so many by example. And then those internal e-mails – DM might just be now dead of a stroke and they are busy hunting for a doppleganger.

  39. What a story! How do any of the OSA staff read this blog and not leave themselves???

  40. Valeska and Chris-

    Thank you for your story and congratulations for making it go right. There are times when reading these posts I am left shaking my head to the point of getting whiplash. Torture in the name of religion delivered by the insane. DM you need to GIT! And take your flying monkeys with you!

    As for today, here’s a little quote from a favorite TV character-

    “I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.”
    Fathers Day Quote by: M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

    My best wishes to you and yours. Happy Father’s Day to all.


    p.s. Thank you Marty and everyone else for making this forum available and possible!

  41. Felicitas Foster

    Valeska, thank you for sharing your story.
    On one hand it is hard to believe that expierences like this are possible in the name of curch and religion, on the other hand I meanwhile do not wonder about your story as it is – unfortunately – the logical outcome of all what we learned so far.
    I am glad that you and your husband made it out and are creatung your future lives.
    Congratulations and all the best for your reunited family – which I am sure will soon be the case.

  42. Valeska and Chris,
    Words fail me. I honor your perseverance, your integrity and strength. Thank you for adding your voice to those of us who are dedicated to bringing down the travesty (A debased or grotesque likeness) created by dm and his dmons.

    I am so sorry you and your family have suffered such vile treatments. The truth, in the end, will blow apart all the evil lies. Adding your truths to the pot has taken us that much closer to that day when it all blows apart.

    Enjoy your new life and congratulations for the wonderous creation of your soon to be born son.
    That is flourishing and prospering!


  43. MostlyLurker

    That was human trafficking.

    I’m very happy you are now free, with a family, with a baby coming and with a lot of old and new true friends.

  44. Dear Valeska,

    Thank you so much for telling your story. I know that it must take courage, especially if you left in good standing. The cruelty, oppression, and suppression you faced are almost unbelievable. Thank you for hanging in there and surviving, and it looks like now, you and Chris are getting the freedom and happiness that you deserve. There is nothing more joyous than being a mother and bringing a child into the world. It is a wondrous experience and puts one’s dynamics in a whole new realm. Congratulations on finding such a wonderful life partner on the RPF. At least something good happened as a result of all your hardship!

    The pain of disconnection from those you love is the opposite side of the coin from the joy of having a family. I was disconnected from my son for many years, while he was a minor child. The beautiful thetans on this blog gave me a lot of encouragement, and a wonderful lady named Natalie Hagemo urged me to keep trying. I got back in comm with my son and the pain and the loss is starting to go away. I am glad that you are refusing to disconnect from those you love. Disconnection is the tool used as coercion that, I believe, is the glue that holds this vicious scene together. The fear of disconnection keeps so many from speaking out and openly disagreeing with the things that they see that they know are wrong and abusive. I still have the fear of my son disconnecting from me again. I am hoping that we will soon be in good enough comm that he will understand what I am doing. He knows, unequivocably, that I love LRH and the technology.

    The evil deeds, such as what happened to you, done in the name of the Church take a lot of confronting. It is my opinion that a lot of people are so incredulous, because it is almost too unbelievable that these things could actually happen in a Church, especially Scientology. After all, we are supposed to be freeing people, not doing them in! The first few you read, you think to yourself, oh, this must just be an isolated incident. As you read more stories, especially in different parts of the world by people who don’t know each other, you start realizing these incidents are not so isolated. after hundreds of these stories you go, OH MY GOD, this stuff really is happening to people, and lots of them!!!! I found these stories trying to find out on the Internet if I had any legal rights as a parent when my son disconnected from me at 14. I was aghast at what I found!!! Hundreds of shocking stores of human imprisonment, traffiking, torture, food and sleep deprivation, physical, mental and spiritual abuse, enforced disconnection, all in the name of the Church.

    It sounds like you endured all these things on many levels and for many years, even as a child. You are a credit to the goodness and the spirituality of man (and woman) that you still have your integrity and the resolve to create a wonderful life for yourself and others. My hat is off to you for your persistence, and I wish both you and Chris a very wonderful Father’s Day!

    All my love,
    Lady Minn

    Your mother and sister are very lucky to have a family member such as you who refuses to disconnect, no matter what the cost! I wish them the very best also, as they have also suffered greatly.

  45. Absolutely horrific! I’m glad that you survided and got out. I also read your sister Melissa’s write-up of the cadet org in the UK, and that was also a horrific detailing of the physical and sexual abuse. The way out is the way out. This write-up has detailed evidence that the current “Church” of Scientology is engaging in human trafficing, false imprisonment and disconnection, not to mention the physical and mental abuses involved such as sleep deprivation. And to think this “Church” gets tax exemption is just disgusting; it’s nothing more than an evil cult, and it all must end.

    BTW, you should save that letter from Marion Pouw as evidence that the church practices disconnection. Send Anderson Cooper a copy.

  46. Valeska and Chris:

    Welcome to both of you and your son on the way. Your experiences on the Freewinds and with the CoM is terrible. I am so glad you are free and able to raise your child away from all that entheta. I am happy your are in comm with your family again, as I am sure they are happy and glad you are. I think it’s terrible that you and your husband suffered so much under the control of the CoM. Speaking out about DM’s policies is a good thing and I’m glad you came forward.

    The destruction of families at the hands of the CoM is not going unnoticed. Many are seeing it and the more people speak out, the more obvious the lies become. I am very happy that you are brave enough to step forward and speak out. I am also happy that both you and your husband are free from the CoM.

    Bright and happy days to both of you.



  47. Valeska and Chris,

    What a fine looking couple you are!

    Congratulations on surviving the hand that was dealt you and for persisting in your efforts to leave that big fat mess called the Church of Scientology.

    You two relax now and enjoy the coming months — they will be wonderful. And all will be fine. You just wait and see.

    Just Me

    P.S. Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful, strong husband who takes such good care of us and loves us so much. I love you right back, sweetheart.

  48. Valeska and Chris,

    Thanks for standing up for Scientology and for speaking out against its abuse. Thank you for not condoning the abuse of human beings under the pretense of Scientology.

    That is exactly the operation being run by the prententious “Church” of DM — Scientology has been hijacked and is used only as bait.

    You got through that …. wow. I’m still trying to wrap my comprehension around it! from the time you were a child to years of imprisonment on the Freewinds

    Valeska, as I read about it all, about the all-nighters for sales, imprisonment, surveillance and time the engine room — it begets the question: Is this the way to treat one of the most valuable beings on the planet?!

    And that’s what auditors are. That’s what you are.

    It’s an egregious abuse of people’s devotion to help.

    There is a line between “tough” and “abuse.”

    It is an outrage to see the blatant lies put out to the world about disconnection and so many other things. That’s the tip of the an iceberg that is slowly freezing out the life of Delivery.

    The only thing Scientology was/is about is delivery. Period.

    Geez, I’m still just in awe over your experience…shock (from horror) and awe (from your handling, devotion and getting training nonetheless!) VWD

    I wish you Godspeed in the best way to Carry On across all dynamics and beyond.

    Congratulations on your family!

    Happy Father’s Day!

    And I love the photo above. You both have a wonderful presence …. on duty to ✩ Theta ✩!!!

  49. Remember Enron? A bunch of greedy, misguided bastards created a company with revenues, at its peak, of $100 billion!

    But because it was all built on lies and deceit, the entire thing collapsed–more quickly than anyone could have ever predicted.

    From the first public admission of “accounting trouble” to Bankruptcy took just over 3 WEEKS!

    I predict that when the end comes for DM and his cadre of the “Dumbest Guys in the Room” it will come equally quickly!



  50. Congratulations to Valeska (Great name!) and Chris::: Happy Father’s day to ALL 🙂 Breaking up families is one of the *key* reasons I have ever spoken out, and C of S’s Human Rights abuses, lead by “Dave” –keeps me doing so. I thank each person who helps expose these insidious abuses.

    Last night, with some others, we picketed the “Flag World Tour” in Glendale.
    Their sign never mentioned “Scientology” as we pointed out. The 8-10 “guards” outside looked like “mafia” to quote a few locals who walked by. I explained that to one, whom I knew when “in”–that what they are doing (out of communication, acting like bullies, looking angry and creepy) is not the Scientology I thought I joined and I doubted it’s the same group he joined either. It certainly doesn’t improve their “PR”.

    He tried to brush it off as “that happened years ago”. I said, “Tim: LOOK. There they are, right now–they look like robo-cops/martians”.
    He laughed and I think honestly saw what I was talking about. Who in the world got these people to act that way? Ok, I know the policies. I used to “volunteer” for OSA, as he was. The only difference is I refused to act like an idiot. Often the critics would leave. I’d go back and would be asked, “What did you do?” I’d say, I just talked to them—they’re just people!”

    Anyways, thank each of you who posts and helps educate people about the pros and cons of
    Scientology. Inch by inch–mile by mile …freedom and truth shall prevail. 🙂

    Here’s my tribute to *my* Dad, for anyone interested.

    Enjoy the day!

  51. ExIntStaffMember

    Valeska, yours is a story of human trafficking and slavery. That’s the stark simplicity of it and I am utterly sickened by what happened. On a more positive note, I am happy you have found Chris and are about to bring new life into the world. You are both exacting the best “revenge” possible for the unbridled suppression from these spiritual pygmies – flourishing and prospering in the teeth of it. Thank you for sharing your story.

  52. Chris and Valeska, Your resilience is testimony to the the human spirit and its basic goodness. Thank you for persevering in following your basic purposes you had when you first joined the group, and for exposing those who violate that set of purposes. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, another story takes you around the next curve on the sad road that has become Scn.
    Marty, thanks for creating a safe harbor for good people to seek haven.

  53. thankyou Marty for doing all you’re doing!

    Chris took over after two prior Int RPF I/C’s “failed” (John Wiley and Mark Treasurer, both whom I also liked as people also.)

    Chris did the impossible job, chaperoning a group of people who had all been touched negatively by David Miscavige, and yet they were all expected to turn 180 degrees with the use of LRH’s “Truth Rundown” processes and shift any negative anti Miscavige and anti top management viewpoints into positive viewpoints.

    The “Truth Rundown” just had no damn chance of success, when people were made to change their reality about Miscavige.

    The sad way around it, was the reality of what was true for you.

    I would SO love to hear how people, say like Mariette Lindstein, who knew Miscavige’s dark Stalin side, how Mariette got through the Truth Rundown?

    Chris somehow chaperoned people who were abused directly by Miscavige through that impossible keyhole.

    Chris has SO MUCH history of how he managed to get people to somehow mentally make it out of that impossible Truth Rundown predicament.

    Marty, I am SO GLAD of what you are doing.

    This is complete core good stuff your blog is allowing.


    Happy Father’s Day to ALL your dads, and
    Happy Father’s Day to almost new dad Chris Guider!

    Thankyou so much and have a healthy baby Valeska!


  54. Valeska & Chris,

    It’s truly great to have you here in Florida.

    The evidence you provided on corruption right at the top (DM, Ship & IAS Execs) has already made a huge difference and I know there is a great deal more where that came from.

    My prediction is that everything you two have had to endure and what your relatives have had to undergo will come back to haunt Miscavige in a very big way.

    And with the baby coming the future is indeed bright!


  55. Evey once in a while a gem pops out…”tranny factory” is one of these. lol
    Tank you Theorcle

  56. martyrathbun09

    Chuck, I hear you on the truth rundown implant. I’ve been throught it. I made reference to it in a post once, where the church sent the SP Times my TRD “apology” to DM that begins with words to this effect, “Although nothing came up on my spreading black PR on you…” Then I proceeded to kow tow for two pages to appease the beast. Many intensives were spent, with NO BLACK PR, to the point where I finally resolved to invent a way I had indrectly BPR’d little Capone to get my sec checker the fuck out of my face. An implant, pure and simple.

  57. Is this a church – or is this hell ?

    Thank God you seem to be a true survivor type … now enjoying the better part of your life :-))

    And this ‘church’ has the nerve to criticize psychiatry !?

    EstO tape 5 of Mach 3 1972 predicts the way such a group will go :

    “The group which one ran Europe, the aristocracy, is no more. They are gone because they were so 3rd dynamic and so stuck on it that nobody else was alive.

    That’s how the French Revolution got started. The citizens got tired of being run down by them coach wheels because there was ‘nobody’ in the road.

    You got it ? Total stuckedness. 3rd dynamic. ‘We are the nobility, we can do no wrong, there is nobody else alive’.

    They had a bad habit. They kept going to war about things that any decent being would have been able to resolve within a 5 minute conversation.

    The arrogance of this group was what destroyed them, and it’s the arrogance of the psychiatrist that will destroy him.”

    And of the current C of S aristocracy … :-)))

  58. Tony DePhillips

    Dear Valeska & Chris,

    Thanks for putting another nail in Dm’s coffin. What you had to endure is so sick and I still can’t believe that it came from within the “church” I was part of.

    The pendulum swings….


  59. I felt moved by this song, I hope you are as well. It is from “West Side Story”

  60. PS: Oh! This is rich, too. I was talking with one of the “Security Guards”/Sea Org–about how JB has now left. His response? “Well, we’ve gotten rid of ALL the bad people now”.

    I burst out laughing, and reminded him that was OSA’s line way back when I was “in”, about Scientologists who had left and were speaking out, and when I left, in 2000—-and more and more people are flooding out, now, the we “bad people” are out. He had to walk away, of course. I invited each of them to dinner when they decided to leave.

  61. martyrathbun09

    Hans, Mike Rinder spontaneously gave a very eloquent and articulate description to the SP Times several months ago demonstrating how DM personally interjected into a philosophy that held no concept of hell, the concept of hell. Thus, destroying a very workable spiritual technology. DM spent hundreds of thousands, if not millions, preventing that from ever going to press, apparently successfully. I hope that Mike will find the time to recreate, perhaps in writing, that incredible truth he spoke that day. It’ll be posted front and center here if he can.

  62. And to Valeska and Chris, I’m sorry if I’ve posted this in the wrong thread. You both look fantastic and I love that you have a baby on the way!
    May music and love surround you both. T

  63. martyrathbun09

    The moment you catch the JB-is-a-scoundrel line on tape or in writing, please forward it. I’ve got evidence from INSIDE the church (POST JB departure) that blow DM to smithereens on that score. Saving it till he over extends himself along this line.

  64. See if this works

  65. Interesting to see the “party lie” being mouthed by those who don’t see.

    Gotten rid of? Right. DM flew an ambush team of no less than …20? ….assorted pawns & “celebs” to try to “recapture” that “scoundrel”.

  66. Marty, thanks for creating a safe harbor for good people to seek haven.

    Ditto. Amen. And Hey Marty, Happy Father’s Day! You da BIG THETA DADDY!!!!!!!!! 😀

  67. Blessings to you, Valeska & Chris. You are among so many friends out here where the air and the intentions are clean.


  68. This story is so awful I almost can’t bear to read it. No one, but particularly a child, should never be subjected to such cruelty and deprivation. I read these stories about young people being “recruited” into the SO (like if both parents are in the “church” where the hell are they going to go if they say no?) and never having a chance to come up for air and clear (no pun intended) their minds. It is a wonder that any of them ever find the mental and emotional where-with-all to even think of getting out. Valeska – if you haven’t read her story already, you might google Maureen Bolstad (aka Twin A). Your story reminds me a lot of what she reports in terms of getting into the Sea Org as a kid and what she had to go through to get finally away from the Int. Base.

  69. Ok, will do—I’ve got an idea now– thanks, Marty.

    And to Davey boy—-remember this, as I’ve told
    you on-line, for 10 years now:
    You can RUN but you CANNOT HIDE. 🙂

  70. Congratulations to the two of you for taking charge of your own destiny by leaving. As others have pointed out, what you’ve experienced is truly slavery, and it is amazing that it has continued this long. I am personally so thankful for each one who leaves, speaks out, and especially for those who provide a forum like this one. Daily, I read the relevant sites looking for word of my loved one still on the Freewinds after many years. What I see frightens me, but at the same time gives hope that the whole thing will collapse under the weight of evil and corruption, and that we will all see those we love emerge from under the rubble. Thank God, they have more and more supporters on the outside these days.
    Bringing your first baby into the world is like having all your birthdays and holidays rolled into one-really. All the best to the three of you.

  71. martyrathbun09

    Tory – he’s not too good at listenin’.

  72. Valeska and Chris
    Very well done on making it out. I read your story with much sadness and anger. The noble heart of the Sea Org Member thus betrayed thus makes me want to spit venom. Not necessarily a ‘theta’ response but an honest one 🙂
    Thank you so much for telling your tale. Each personal story told gives me a renewed purpose and deeper understanding of why it isn’t good enough for me to simply walk away from the church. This is why I continue to fight for every being still trapped by the evil that has turned LRH’s dream of paradise into the nightmare of a perfect theta trap.
    We will get our families out. We will get our friends out. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
    We live in eternity and we come back, a minor detail that DM overlooked when he began this game.
    Going to stop rambling now before Marty accuses me of sounding like a beer commercial again 😀

  73. Marty—that’s well documented, way back from when I was on OT 7, and he never listened to any of us. However, I *love* to remind him (and the OSA floormats) of 2 facts:

    1) Tick tock, Tick Tock, Time is on *our* side
    2) “You can run, but you cannot hide”
    (I started saying this, years ago, when there were only a few Scientologists speaking out. Their claim was we’re crazy, and continuing
    “Fair Game” actions. Now? HA! It’s all good, as you well know. 🙂

  74. Valeska & Chris, congratulations on the forthcoming birth of your child!!

    As the father of 3, it is my belief that it is the most important thing I have done in my life. And the most rewarding. (Not that it is easy!!)

    I am excited for you, for the adventure that awaits you!

    Flourish and prosper in the face of whatever seems to get in the way…


    (and thanks for standing up and telling your stories)

  75. Dear Valeska and Chris,

    Really happy to have you hear in Florida. Thank you for keeping your integrity in and your dedication to LRH!

    Can’t wait to see the new member of your family!

  76. Dear Valeska & Chris,
    Congratulations for getting out! Both of you. All my best wishes to your new family.
    From my own experience I can only say, I know that everything you wrote is exactly true.

  77. John,

    I absolutely agree. As a student of Political Economy I can relay that it is called a “waterfall effect”. It also applies to other fields. Once it starts there’s no stopping it. My understanding and viewpoint is that it is already well underway. These good people here are demonstrating everything you’ve indicated because it is based on broadening awareness.

    That’s why this is happening very rapidly and continues to pick up velocity.

    I only found this site two months ago.

    Oh hell, let’s get it over with and carry on.

    Thank you very much for pointing this out.


  78. Valeska and Chris,

    Ah, today is Father’s Day and I read your story, so full of hurt and abuse. I sit next to my daughter, shoulder to shoulder; feeling her near fills me with joy. She will soon leave for college and my heart aches. My son comes in, fifteen years old, already three inches taller than me. He leans over and hugs me. His arms are growing strong–wiry and long. He smiles and I smile back, knowing how full life can be.

    When I was young, my parents were poor and didnt’ have much time for us. I don’t remember every being told, “I love you,” by either one. My childhood was filled with emptiness. But, now I understand.

    I had kids, and knew what love was. All the infatuations became meaningless. I was suddenly part of something much grander than myself.

    Being a parent is an honor. And that you should choose to bring children into this world will fill your life in ways unexpected. You never know how much you can love another human being until you have children.

    Romance may give your heart wings, but the love of your child allows you to soar into the future.

    A father cannot exist without a mother to bear the child. So, on this Father’s Day, I tell you that the past is only as relevant as you both use it to make the present and future better. The sadness of your story will only make the joy of your future that much sweeter. The bonds that were frayed in your childhood will only give reason to strengthen the bonds in adulthood.

    I raise my glass and offer a toast, “To those who would nurture and protect your children, I give my praise. Salute.”

    Much love,


  79. martyrathbun09

    You are one hell of a trooper.

  80. Pingback: Top Posts —

  81. War and Peace

    Another Horror Story.

    You know, the United States needs a Senator Xenophon in the US Congress.

    America needs a Senator or Congressman with the zeal of Australia’s Xenophon.

    What ended the Cult at Jonestown (horrifically) was when Congressman Leo Ryan visiting their “Int base” in Guyana and invited those who wanted to leave, to leave with him (this was to prove there was freedom to leave)

    I think we need to find one single Senator or Congressman to deluge with the horror stories and ask him to visit INT BASE and talk to the inmates and invite who ever wants to walk, walk out with him. Not everyone at INT base is still drinking the Kool-aid. They just do not have a ways to escape.

    Would DM permit a Senator/Congressman tour INT base and meet all the prisoners?
    Would he be permitted to invite those that wanted to leave, LEAVE.

    That is the question.

  82. martyrathbun09

    Flunk for self coaching. You had my eyes watering up till that point.

  83. Dudes-with-lipstick!! I can just hear madam miss-scavange snapping his garters over and over and over….

    Muuuwaaahhhaaaaaaa!! 😉


  84. Valeska and Chris,

    Hell is behind you now. Before you lies a future and a hope. Congratulations on choosing to leave the suppression and to choose LIFE in all its dimensions. I pray that the birth of your child will give you joy beyond expectation, and the strength to persevere when times aren’t easy.

    I’ll be honest. I’ve been reading every day for 2 and a half years the stories of abuse by the Scientology organisations. Sometimes, in the last year or so, I’ve searched my heart asking whether I’ve become so used to the horror that it no longer touches me. But every now and again, I’m still shocked and saddened and angered.

    Valeska, your story made me madder than I’ve felt for a long time. I’ve been asking God what Miscavige is. Is he still human? Was he ever? Did he ever have a spirit? Was he made in the image of God like everyone else, or did he emanate from some evil place?

    I’m left with the sense that David Miscavige has made so many choices for evil that his spirit is irrevocably tainted, scarred, aberrant, sick, no longer a human spirit.

    I just hope you know that YOU did NOT deserve to be treated the way you were treated – at Stonelands, at FLAG, on the Freewinds or in the RPF. You were not the problem, Valeska.

    I hope the birth of your child, and speaking out as you have, marks another major turning point in your life, where the path gets lighter and happier, more hopeful and beautiful.

    If you haven’t already spoken with Nick Xenophon and wish to, email him at You’ll find him and his senior adviser very understanding and supportive of you as a person.

    I wish you, Valeska, Chris and your baby every good thing.

  85. Valeska and Chris,

    I am so glad you are out of that environment. Let the healing begin! Too bad you still have some disconnection on your family lines. This will change. It seems that we are having management from the outside! DM changes when the noise gets too loud outside. So this big lie shown over and over will be changed. Just to protect his butt but nothing more!

  86. I hope you are reconnected with your dad soon. I am really grateful to be a dad, it really is the greatest thing ever although it is not easy. Invalidating family ties that usually go back the track will be about as successful as Miss Cabbage rejecting the idea of “past life Clear”. So, time is certainly on your side.

    May I add that this painful experience may help you help others in your future auditing efforts since this engram will have to be audited out of the Church by those who have experience with it.

  87. That’s a sweet rendition Mr. B but this is the lady with the pipes to pull this off.

  88. Valeska and Chris,

    Big hugs to you both! What happened to you was criminal and sadistic. These types of abuses need to be exposed. Thank you so much for sharing and continuing to share the truth.

    I’m so happy to hear your family is being put back together, piece by piece.


  89. Fellow Traveller

    Marty —

    I share what I find a bit ironic about your TRD.

    I saw excerpts of your “apology” used by the church to DA you to the SP Times. It was one of those things that did not quite add up. I guess it would be another splinter on that square peg.
    I was thinking to myself something like “Marty, don’t be so damned obsequious.” Then another couple of splinters appeared, a notable one being “Why is this all about Miscaviage?” This referring to the content of the “communications” and such. It rattled me sufficiently to jar a few ser facs loose long enough for me to glimpse some truth.

    I’d say the church has a truth rundown now, unfortunately, it is the truth, not some stipulated apparency nor some predetermined objective.

    Bruce Pratt

  90. martyrathbun09

    good eye Bruce

  91. It takes one to know one 🙂

  92. Such a beautiful family the two of you, soon to be even more so. How exciting.

    Uumm, fresh baby, there isn’t anything more wonderful. Please do post pictures!

  93. becomingAware

    Valeska and Chris – Welcome to the outside world and happy Father’s and Mother’s day.
    Chris – you and I know each other from when you were in RTC. I am very pleased you are out and looking forward to some stories when the time is right for you.
    My best to the three of you.

  94. euwghhhh!
    Thanks for restimulating my 3 flunked RTC Pro TRs videos! LOL.

  95. Veleska and Chris! Welcome to our family of Independents. Thank you for your courage to speak out and take a stand against this total insanity. In a certain way, each one of us went through our own hell but are back on our feet standing tall and able to speak out about it. Hiro and I congratulate you on your new family member and hope that we can all meet up sometime soon. With great affinity to you both!
    Hiro and Shannon

  96. Valeska and Chris;

    Had a father’s day dinner and celebrated my granddaughters 15th birthday today in a Clearwater restaurant.

    There was much laughter and free flowing theta around the table where my son, daughter and their three kids participated in a family gathering that very few SO members get to attend…so, so sad.

    You two are out of the nightmare…go raise your family your way…be free…laugh and flow theta
    flourish and prosper…

    Know this for sure…there will be a day DM & his slave masters will never forget….it’s coming sooner than later.

    The INDEPENDENT movement is growing both overtly and covertly. You can feel the charge blowing all over the world and if you really take a look you will see Dear Leader getting smaller and more solid with each new INDEPENDENT announcement.

    Welcome to a sane and noble group Valeska and Chris.

  97. Valeska,

    What a story! The depth of cruelty this “church” (a group that is supposed to be representing LRH) has sunk to is mind boggling.

    This reads like one of those fairy tales with an evil stepmother (Snow White?), except that “evil stepmother” is the normal and expected valence of all high-level SO members in DM’s regime.

    In this regime you don’t even own your own body, and you certainly don’t own your own life. You are truly a fully-owned slave.

    Congratulations, Valeska and Chris, on de-PTS’ing yourselves and getting out of that hell-hole. True Scientology is out here, as I’m sure you know now. True Scientology is always theta, it always helps a being expand across his or her dynamics, and it never makes you feel bad or cuts your theta comm lines.

    So welcome to this wonderful group where you have lots of friends. You have my postulates for a wonderful, healthy family and for reconnection with your father and brother. I bet they will see the light, because in the end theta always wins.

  98. Valeska,

    This sounds like a pretty good idea to me! It could potentially deliver a searing blow to an SP who is still dramatizing upon others all of the cruelty he ordered done to you.

  99. That is so beautiful Michael, and so true.

    I know a truly good writer when I read their words and say, “Yeah, whew… that person feels the same way as me, and it has saved me grappling with words to describe it…and oh the comfort of knowing your feelings are shared.

    Being a parent is the most intense thing I have ever experienced, and it is that way for a reason of course.

    I don’t have to type it, you said it perfectly;

    “Romance may give your heart wings, but the love of your child allows you to soar into the future.”

  100. I have no words for the sadness and anger I’m feeling after reading your story.
    I feel so much love for the two of you right now. May you know nothing but happiness in your new life as an independent Scientologist.

  101. Kathy Braceland

    You regained your freedom despite all odds…and those were some big odds. Your story is heart-wrenching but you pulled through it in a blaze of glory. Huge, HUGE kudo’s and lots of love to you!

  102. Tory,

    It sounds like you’re doing a lot of good — thanks for your courage. You mentioned a key point, that the protest signs didn’t mention Scientology, only the evil C of M.

    You mentioned that what you saw is not the Scientology you thought you joined. Of course, the same is true for all of us.

    But the Scientology we all thought we joined, which helps people, which frees people, which frees theta — I hope you know that it does exist. Here it is, out here. We’re the stewards of it and can use it to improve life across the dynamics. 🙂

  103. Wow. Please do recreate that, Mike! It’s really too bad that the SP Times went PTS to DM on that story. But hell, this is better than any newspaper anyway! Can’t wait to read that one and have it make its way around the world. 🙂

  104. Your story is very compelling but is hampered by the dates. For instance you state you were sent to the ship by DM in 2006 and stayed there for 12 years. (para 10) You completed the RPR in Nov 2009 yet you routed out in Aug 2009. (para 20 and 21)

    It makes your story less plausible due to the time out points, but that is easily correctable! Just review and correct the dates.

    Thank you

  105. Michael, this is very beautiful and very theta. Thanks. 🙂

  106. That was so touching and heartfelt and TRUE! Beautiful.

  107. Lisa Hamilton

    Valeska, I do not know you, but I know Chris. I am saddened to hear your story. It is so theta that you are having a baby! If I can do anything to help, just let me know. I know that Chris is a strong terminal and you guys will handle this situation. Lisa

  108. Lisa Hamilton

    Hello Chris and Valeska, Chris, we do know each other and I know you will stay strong and take care of this, have a healthy baby (congratulations) and flourish and prosper. Let me know if you need anything from me. Lisa

  109. Valeska and Chris,
    A very very huge big ole theta hug to you both and congratulations on your coming baby! What a fantastic and wonderful way to out-create all the BS you’ve dealt with!
    I think you’ll both redefine JOY in the very near future. I’m just sooooo happy for you both!

  110. Valeska,

    Thanks for your detailed description of the inside of the Mascavage created trap.

    To have survived that insanity since the age of six is a tribute to you as theta.

    I wish you a new game full of love and free theta for you your husband and child.

  111. Virgil Samms

    Only 3 flunks? Lordy that’s nothing! I had about 80 flunks.

    ML Tom

  112. Hi Mitsu Too,
    I doubt if Barbra Streisand herself coming to this very board would make such a comment about this performer as a, dismissive, “seeet”. However I can imagine someone from INT base trying to pit artist against artist, cheapening both in the process, to bring the high tone down from a theta esthetics band, since this would be way to much theta for them to deal with or tolerate. Both performers are power performers, they both “pulled it off” in their own individual and unique way, such is the way of an artist. They are not clones of each other, they are creating their own art in a new unit of time with their own theta expressions. If you think she is too sweet, just close your eyes so you do not have to look at a live high energy performance and just listen to the power performance. I thought that this high tone theta performance might be too much for some. Unfortunate.

  113. I felt moved by this song, I hope you are as well.

  114. Not much else I can add that hasn’t been said already other than to wish you both the best in your new life!

  115. Well said, Victoria, I was going to comment the same on Michael’s perceptions and sentiments, and aesthetic skill in expressing them! Michael DITTO all of the above about your comments!

  116. Concerned Citizen

    Jenny, Sue and Laurie are not themselves.

    There are 2 ways to deal with pressure/suppression.

    You either buckle under it, or you rise to the occasion/ find a way out of there.

    Almost all of us under the pervasive influence of this SP have acted in contravention to our own nature, but on some level we all knew it was so and made it go right to leave the rat’s nest.

    People like Jenny, Sue and Laurie may still under this rubble be there, that awareness may yet still lurk in their hearts.

    But there is the possibility that they have abandoned their beingness. That is the only way to survive that many years in those positions. One has to lose any personal view point and try to adopt the insane and illogical view point of the SP. That is how they become Dudes with lipstick.

  117. Concerned Citizen

    Valeska, first of all congratulations on your baby’s impending arrival. May all the joys of motherhood be yours in plenitude.

    Then congratulations on staying in one piece. Believe it or not I know something of what you speak, it takes tremendous fortitude to survive that kind of isolation and abuse. I admire you for surviving that madness and still knowing what is what and who you are, not everyone can do that, many who have gone through less grueling experiences have thrown in the towel and abandon any spiritual path. And I know, believe me I know exactly what you went through.

    But I prefer to look at things in terms of what I gained and not what I lost, or in terms of what I learned.

    I think you probably do that too and so I’m sure you are one very strong Thetan. That boy you are getting is so lucky to have that kind of strength to learn from.

    Happy Father’s day to Chris and thanks for speaking out.

  118. Concerned Citizen

    By the way, I can’t help but notice how many people resort to pretending suicidal ideation to break free. When that is your last resort, it is a very desperate situation.

  119. Concerned Citizen

    Dear Mike,

    Yes please do, Anxiously awaiting it…

  120. Concerned Citizen


    You said:

    “I’ll be honest. I’ve been reading every day for 2 and a half years the stories of abuse by the Scientology organizations. Sometimes, in the last year or so, I’ve searched my heart asking whether I’ve become so used to the horror that it no longer touches me. But every now and again, I’m still shocked and saddened and angered”

    I understand this conclusion. I have no sympathy for this man, but I have a deep hope that redemption is always possible even for him and if he were to change, it would only benefit everyone. In the Bible, repentance is the key to that salvation.

    I agree with that, I have done evil in my time- never close to the scope of Dave, but I did.
    I have however always known that I hoped for the chance to change and I did change, to me both the hope at first and then the fact that I did change ( I have ways to go mind you) are a confirmation that basic goodness is in fact the truth, goodness always wins in the end.
    To me that is one of the things that makes life worth living.

  121. Valeska and Chris

    Glad to see you are out of hell and living in the real world again. What you’ve both been through just shouldn’t happen in “civilized” countries.

    Chris – happy Dad’s day. You’re looking much better than that photo of you in the Sydeny Morning Herald when you first hit Oz on your way to the ANZO RPF. I still remember your first nights in my Acad in Sydney. If you’re ever back here, look me up, mate.

  122. Gulag: Definition from:

    gu·lag also Gu·lag (gläg)
    1. A network of forced labor camps in the former Soviet Union.
    2. A forced labor camp or prison, especially for political dissidents.
    3. A place or situation of great suffering and hardship, likened to the atmosphere in a prison system or a forced labor camp.

    Every time I read a story like this, I think of the Gulags. Except in this case there are no guns enforcing confinement, only mental guns. But all else is the same.

    I salute you so much on your courage, your strength to escape The Co$ gulag, and emerge as a decent human being. There will only be love, happiness and true beauty in your life from now on. A happy marriage, and a new baby – enjoy!! And love to you and your family. 🙂

  123. martyrathbun09

    Dude, check your email – sent you one from Hushmail yesterday.

  124. martyrathbun09

    Mr B, apparently you are quite the artist – check your email.

  125. Mike Lemeron

    Wow, this story makes my nightmares look like a Sunday trip to Wal-Mart. Hello to you and Chris. Chris knows who I am from when he was in RTC. Congrats on your new and flourishing lives. You certainly deserve the best the world has to offer. I am totally incredulous at how DM focused on you, one staff member, to suppress you so completely. It’s like he has his thumb on everyone’s lives in the SO just so he can do so. I know your statements are fact. It truly escapes me how Interpol and the FBI and other law enforcement agencies allow this obvious breach of law to go unfettered. Certainly there is a huge amount of evidence to allow warrants and other affirmative action. Too many foolish people are still aiding DM. When the “Old Man” was around, if people wanted to leave, they left. DM is truly nuts/evil.

  126. Mr. B : I’ve never heard Josh Groban without a tear welling up.

    And this youtube rendition is so very poignant to what we are all facing in the microcosm that is dm and his prison which so clearly mimics the macrocosm of life now on planet earth.

    Buddhist say that we are clearly “in a dark age” — but thanks to artists, a growing group of determined spiritual leaders of all faiths and those who support them … I remain confident and

    Will not give up.


  127. Hi Valeska & Chris,
    Thanks for posting your story. You filled in a few gaps for those of us who’ve been wondering what happened to you and Chris.

    Many of the ANZO Exes remember Chris fondly and I, for one, am VERY happy to hear that you’re both free of them at last.

    Enjoy that freedom and the wonderful future stretching out before you.


  128. Dear Valeska,
    It is so hard to read your story – I was on the Ship in 06 listening to events (during MV) about the Human Rights PSAs while you were below me in the engine room trapped and being tortured! That was the MV I gave that cult 150K for the IAS campaigns that were supposed to help mankind! Ugh…
    On the very bright side, you are out, you are free and loved …and expecting the greatest gift of all– your child!
    I send you and your Chris my love and support – please let me know if there is anything I can do for you!
    Mary Jo

  129. Harry Potter

    Wow, Chris Guider. He was pretty much one of the first COB enforcers as IG MAA before it was a violent activity. Tons of ethics presence and a pretty sane person. Former professional rugby player who is pretty much as tough as nails. I remember at the base him getting stitches with no anesthesia.

    Gary Conley I believe was the very first IG MAA but I guess that made him Aznaran’s enforcer.

    Anyways, I am glad Chris made it out. I know he had a big thing on kids and he put up with a lot of shit and remained dedicated and tough.

    Good for you guys and I wish you well.


  130. The church has no and had never any authority over you all.

    You gave a huge part or all of your selfdeterminism away all of you.


  131. Hi Marty,
    I just rechecked my email, including filters, no trace.
    Checked listed email here, it is correct.
    Try a resend.

  132. martyrathbun09

    Sorry, I got you mixed up with someone else. No email sent.

  133. There are two and so many more ways to deal with suppression. The superstitions about uniforms and gold colored paper are from another century. In fact this is the first culture I’ve explored that is terrorized and dominated by golden rod paper.

  134. Suggested cram to Mike Napier, Sue Price, and Lurie Belotti.

    An open letter to all clears.

    Especially word clear this section:

    “As a Clear, you are welcomed and honoured. Don’t do anything that will wear out your welcome
    or bring dishonour on yourself or upon other Clears.”

  135. I won’t bother sending the cram to DM as that would violate DMOB order #1. Entitled David Miscavige is not here on the same terms as anyone else.

  136. CC, I understand what you’re saying. I guess I’m struggling to know whether DM has so seared his conscience that he’s committed the unforgivable sin. I take a very strong view of grace – that’s why this is a struggle for me.

  137. Anything you depend upon you become the effect of. That happens in every arena in this universe. It is not only in Scientology. Blame about it only frustrates people who confuse dependency with trust.

  138. Tom,
    Only had 3 flunks because after the 3rd one I walked! Just couldn’t hack the Robotic TRs course.

  139. Hi Marty
    Thank you for clearing up the mystery.

  140. True, but you have various layers of trust and or dependency.

    One thing Scientologists and Anons have in common they rarely trust goverments although the Anon stance is more of a cynical one. Like the world is as it is and their is no point dressing it up to look nice. The optimism is to be found in the act of the Individual wich occasionally can be suprising and rising above the average.

    Always be vigilant

  141. becomingAware


    How insane can it get and people who are trying to do good get caught up in it and keep trying.
    Thank you for trying and it is good you got out. The Freewinds of all places. How can can anyone get case gain on that ship from Hell?
    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

  142. Vicky Mackey

    Congratulations on getting out of the TRAP.

    Congratulations on the imminent birth of your child . This is a truly wonderful thing.

    I gave birth to Jack a few months after I comped OTVII and just before my husband and I LEFT the Church ( in 2008 – after 23 yrs in).

    Our son’s joy at experiencing the world anew has given my husband and I so much to value about life – stuff that is taken away from you as a Scientologist – his arrival really helped the whole “leaving” experience – so I am hoping that all goes well with the birth and that you both enjoy this wonderful journey into parenthood – as you truly deserve it.

    The stories of human rights abuses in the SO were what made me finally decide to leave. Your story is so horrendous – I am so sorry for all that you have been through.

    Since you were “shipped off” to Australia and as Chris is an Aussie I am hoping that you will take Heather G’s advice and send this very important story to Senator Xenophon – it would really make a huge difference – and right now is the perfect time to do it.

    Good luck to you both – you have plenty of supporters in OZ if you decide to return here.

  143. one of those who see

    Hi Valeska And Chris, I am so happy that you have each other and are expecting a child. LRH speaks of making it go right. And you really have! – in spite of everything.

    You can now have a family the way it should be.

    Thank you for telling your heart wrenching story. Hugs, hugs, hugs to you and your little one on the way.

    Why do I post anonymously?…Fear of disconnection. I have family on staff. Enforced disconnection of a parent and a child is just short of murder, in my opinion.

  144. Vicki,
    *So* great you left and had your new baby without the insanity C of S has become. Great job.
    Valeska: Your story is SO amazing, each part of it.
    This one line seems so very true for many of us, in one form or another, who spent years within that group:
    ” I was told that I would be at the ship for 2 weeks: I ended up being there for 12 years.”

    Amazing! Thank goodness you are free, and sharing your story with all. You are helping far more people than you can imagine by doing so.
    My best to you and all, Tory/Magoo

  145. Dear Valeska,

    A very moving post. I was horrified in reading the suppression and human rights violations you personally experienced. I am disgusted and repulsed by the behavior of the so-called “elite” SO members you detailed. Your treatment as a child was particularly heartbreaking. Very hard to face head on, just reading. My compassion is yours but mostly, my admiration for your strength and fortitude and the lovely creation of your new life with a loving husband and child on the way! Beautiful.

    Thank you for taking the time to expose the criminals that are not only breaking the law, but doing so while pretending to be such honorable souls dedicated to helping others and saving the planet.

  146. Concerned Citizen

    You said:
    “I take a very strong view of grace – that’s why this is a struggle for me”

    Thank you Heather, from the bottom of my heart for that, I have the utmost respect for this rare quality.


  148. theoracle.21-June 2010.Well said ! re DM’s terms here They aren’t Scientology Terms thats for sure

  149. Freetothink

    Wow, what a story. I totally believe you & believed all along the stories I’ve heard. Even if only 1/10th of what you guys are all saying was true I would find it outrageous! That’s what lead me to resigned. Sadly I’m sure that nearly 100% is true. I’m so glad you guys are now free. Welcome to the Independent field. Looking forward to meet you 🙂

  150. John Peeler

    Valeska, Thank you so much for telling your story, and congratulations to both you and Chris with your newfound freedom and to your new baby!

    Chris, it’s so good to see that you left all of that insanity behind. Welcome to life outside of the Int Base prison camp and the RPF! You and I had the chance to work together on Dept 3 and Qual lines for a long time. I’ve written about a lot of the things we were involved in on those lines, and some time when you get the chance, it would be great to hear your story and get your input along those lines at Int. I’ve wondered many times how you were doing and if you were still in the SO. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll have your hands full as a new father! Conrats my man!

  151. Pingback: Valeska Paris Guider – More on Human Trafficking | Moving On Up a Little Higher

  152. Thank you for taking your heartbreaking & important story to the media. This deal with being forced to sign away one’s reality in order to be set free is common and has gone on for years. I am so glad you are at the forefront in exposing this, adding to the many proofs that the Church of Scientology is a criminal organization, using extortion to try and silence it’s disaffected departing staff members. Keeping people’s passports is another common extortive tactic the church employs. Lets hope Senator Xenophon investigates this madness to the fullest. Best wishes to you and your family.

  153. Good stuff I agree.

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