Anat on the tundra
I’ve been following Marty’s site for over a year now. Thank you dear Marty for having a blog where we can get the latest and be allowed to communicate and share our views freely! I admire and respect so many of you I met on this site!!! Thanks to you, I have so much more understanding and realizations. Thanks to you I feel I am not alone!
This is my story:
In 1990 my sister came to visit me from Israel. Within those 2 weeks, my sister, my 7 year old son, and I joined the Sea Org. We were all very new to Scn, especially my sister who knew nothing of it till her visit. My sister shot up to CMO within weeks, and weeks later she left to Israel and didn’t come back as was expected. I left the SO a few months after.
About 2 years later she got declared a suppressive person for blowing. I was not allowed to talk to her.
Four years ago when I moved to CW to go up the Bridge, I was told by Ethics I had to disconnect from my whole family because through them I am somehow connected to my sister and that by itself is considered a suppressive act. I was not allowed to go back to my training till I informed my family that I am disconnecting from them. At first I tried fighting it but later I gave in. I moved up the Bridge, being assured that on OT 7, I would be able to handle anything in life. I was excited and couldn’t wait to get on 7! All the while, my family would always come up as one unresolved BIG upset. Last year, when I realized I was about to complete the level, I had to take an honest look and decided there was no way I was going to attest to a level where I have not reached the product; being cause over life. I’ve committed on my family and myself such a big overt. Here is an incomplete cycle of action that my attention would not come off of! There was only one thing to do and that was to handle; complete the cycle of action so I could truly attest to the level. The toughest thing was having a comm cycle with my husband and my son. Despite knowing the risks, I was still going to stick to my decision. My husband and my son, to my greatest relief, were so very supportive. I’m the luckiest girl to have such an amazing family!!!!!!
Next it was time to get in touch with the rest of my family. Wow! All I can say is that my family not only was so thrilled to hear from me, it was the warmest welcoming, which brings tears to my eyes even now.
This is what my beef is:
- Disconnection. What’s up with that? Are we not going for full self-determinism? If I am told who I can talk to, what to do, think etc. isn’t this called “other determinism” or even “robotism”?
- The cost of doing Bridge. If the church truly believes that they have the only tech that would handle/improve conditions, then shouldn’t it be made available and affordable to everyone, instead of creating a small country club? Really, if you had the only medicine that could cure people who are dying around you, would you not give it because you don’t have the ideal facility or enough nurses and doctors and would you, to be able to afford the bridge, have to sell your mother…?
- Rules and the suppressive use of policies that create stops rather than expansion, such as becoming a class Auditor before being able to deliver a paid Assist. The different licensing and their costs, etc. I met a guy once who told me he would not deliver seminars because he would have to pay much more to Wise than just consult one on one. It seems to me like it’s creating a Must Have/Can’t Have.
- How come some of the highest execs in the Church are now known as the biggest SPs? Why are we attacking within? Attacking each other weakens us as a group! How come COB is standing mostly solo in events? Where are the rest of the Execs?
- Why are there so many illnesses among Scientologists, especially on the upper levels? Some of us volunteers must see this as an outpoint. How come no one is asking?
- Since when did asking and querying became an enemy line? Are we supposed to hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil and everything will be just fine. Isn’t it delving into superstition?
When did we start “buying” ourselves out of Ethics? I don’t want my ethics officer, my supe, or the receptionist to reg me!
It used to be fun and exciting times for me to go to the org. It has not been so for a long time.
Therefore we decided to no longer be a part of what is known today as the church of Scientology.
Because we asked the church for re-payment of advance payments and for money taken out from our account at Flag for books packages we did not authorize or receive, my husband’s daughter (she is in the Sea Org) has disconnected from us. I understand her. I was at the same place not too long ago. She is smart! When she is ready, we’ll be here with open arms!!!!
With lots of Love,
Anat Krier
Moving On Up a Little Higher 