Three generations in St Louis, gone with the wind


Meshell Little (Powers) – Jim Little – Heather Powers – Edie Fields

Are Publicly Leaving the Church of Scientology

This is the story of Jim Little, Meshell Little (Powers), Heather Powers and grandmother, Edie Fields of St. Louis, Missouri. This is the real story of how we went from being 22-year veteran scientologists to quietly resigning from the structure known as the Church of Scientology on June 29, 2010. This action quickly culminated with the St. Louis Org declaring us SP’s on October 21, 2010. This declare, as I will go over, consisted of generalities, complete lies, assumptions stated as facts, situations twisted up neatly to appear as one, dropped out time (fully handled 13 years ago) all mixed with one percent truth – and completely written with the intention of discrediting to make us look evil. This is the thanks we got for all our years of supporting this organization. That’s not all though. They got my son!

On October 24, 2010 my 19-year-old son, Jeremy Powers, told me, his little sister, Heather and step-dad Jim that he could no longer have any association with us until we “came to our senses and recanted our misdeeds”. He originated that he knew we weren’t really suppressive and he knew it wasn’t right that he was being forced to disconnect. He said he had no choice because he had argued all he could to get someone to see that “forced (ultimatum) disconnection” was wrong, especially when it came to family. He said he tried to get them to see that if he ever felt we were suppressing him, he would decide on his own to disconnect, per PTS/SP tech. It is our opinion that only the most evil and arrogant of groups would practice this type of family destruction, especially against people who only want to walk away.

Since he and I have always been close, this act of cruelty, on his part, is beyond my ability to comprehend. I’ve been the one always there for him, loving him with open arms, granting him huge beingness, and protecting him from invalidation & harm. All of us fully supported his right to decide to stay with the church when he knew we were all leaving it. Make NO MISTAKE ABOUT THIS, I easily could have turned him to our side – I just wasn’t sure it was the best decision. So we supported him and ensured he had funds on his account to move forward as he wished. (Major error on our part!)

He was totally manipulated with THREAT OF LOSS. He said if he didn’t disconnect he would lose his girlfriend, his place to live, his car, his job and he wouldn’t get his bridge. He was told by the St. Louis Ethics officer that it was his choice, but if he chose to stay connected he would be declared. He cried when he left our house that day, but nothing like I cried, I’m sure. I don’t even know if he realizes the pain of a mother losing her child. He’s likely being indoctrinated to believe that we are all JUST THETANS and it is a “fake” mother/son relationship anyway. I say this because on occasions when Sea Org folks were trying to recruit my children, they told me, “they are thetans, not YOUR children”!

My mother, Edie Fields, was pressured to disconnect as well – even before we were declared – and she let them know that she would never ever disconnect from her daughter & granddaughter. She told them that she was disconnecting from THEIR suppressive actions.

Jim, Heather, Edie and I are coming to terms with the fact that we are now the victims of what we had defended and protected for years. My child, being manipulated with a threat of loss, has immediately and obediently started blocking me from his life, as if I don’t exist anymore. He’s changed his phone number and blocked us from his Facebook – eliminating us as his family. Eliminated. Gone. Sadly, he calls it his “personal integrity”.

Well, Church of Scientology, the gloves have come off. THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE IS BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER CHILD, and you have so arrogantly placed yourself right there.

Until you issued the SP Declare, full of slander and lies about me, then manipulated my son to disown us – I was willing to silently go about my way. I was willing to never talk about Scientology to Jeremy and I was willing to let him choose the religion of his choice and make his own decisions. He has that basic human right, you know! I knew that my compromise would be that I would be silent about my opinions going forward, in order to not provoke the church – but NO – that was not good enough. Do you really think I will walk away with my tail between my legs, whimpering and sad? Do you really think I will just give up my son and not say anything about it? Are you all completely void of humanity? Read below of the mayhem *cough* we caused to bring this wrath of a “church” upon us.

Jim and I had been in Scientology for 22 years. I served on staff for 5 of those years, first holding the post of HAS then being promoted to the senior executive post of Flag Banking Officer (right before it became a SO post). Pretty much my auditing level consists of Grade 0, FPRD basic and 1D list, and lots security checking! On top of that, I’ve had a lot of admin training, including a few mini hats, OEC Vol 0, FP Member Full Hat and M9 word clearing the entire finance series. As an FBO, during the big IRS tax exemption, I implemented the entire Treasury/INCOMM program after the IRS awarded the tax exemption. Jim has been mainly public, finishing his STCC, Student Hat, TR’s/Objectives, volunteer activities with CCHR & other 4thD campaigns. He had a few brief times on staff in the 90’s and recently in 2008. My mom Edie (now 70 years old) had been on staff for 10 years, and buying her auditing at staff rates. She is a trained auditor, word clearer and a beautiful being. Our daughter, Heather, started volunteering 20 hours a week at age 13 and had been on staff since, finally working over 50 hrs a week while trying to get through schooling, toward the end.

Over the past few years we’ve had points of disagreements and things that just didn’t make sense. Including, but not limited to, direct policy violations and circumstances that just didn’t make sense. I personally have written a lot of extensive KR’s outlining such violations over the years. We’ve commonly just dubbed in what we thought “must” be the case and settled with the “thought-stopper” that it must just be our own MUs.

The following things are only a few things that we have tried to make sense of, when actually they literally don’t make any sense at all. Some of them we consider to be just out right suppressive and against the stated purpose of the CoS. These questions are never answered in a way that resolves the question.

1. If it’s absolutely vital that we get 10,000 people auditing on OTVII – then why is the pricing of Scientology out of reach for the majority of the population?

2. In the early 70’s the cost of ALL the OT levels (if purchased in a package) was $2500 – today it’s close to $500,000 when all is said and done. What level of inflation is that?

3. In answer to the “pricing” questions, we’ve been told it’s because Scientology is for “the able” – however, we don’t think one can judge ability by someone’s bank account. Some of the biggest SPs on the planet are very wealthy.

4. In the inner circle, org staff are considered some of the most able on the planet – yet, if they are no longer on staff and don’t make enough to quickly pay for their bridge, does that mean they are no longer the “able” we want up at the top of the bridge??

5. We heard from personal friends that in the 70’s orgs (and missions) were bursting at the seams. LRH went off the lines, odd things started happening and the orgs started shrinking. Reports went to LRH that David Mayo was an SP – he was declared and gotten off the lines. At that point, orgs should have had huge expansion and grown even bigger; however they did not stably grow. Really? Well, have you ever seen an org bursting at the seams since 1982?

6. Just 3-4 years after LRH died, and with David Miscavige fully in control, orgs have continued to shrink over the long term. We are told Scientology is expanding. Are we to honestly believe that St. Louis org is the only one that has NOT grown in 20 years? I mean stably grown. I’m not talking about the staff count hitting 50, because you turn around and it’s down again. The overall stats at STL are NOT on an uptrend over the past 20 years AT ALL. In fact, stats have been emergency since the 70’s, with some stats, like GI actually in danger and non e. This is denied. However, there is nobody who can prove that the stats are expanding. But let’s don’t forget, we have eyes and we have observation AND we have been around for 22 years!

7. We find it most disturbing that “Scientology has the ONLY workable admin tech on the planet” yet it isn’t working to expand Scientology at the org level. Want more proof? Why is everyone donating every penny, nickel and dime to Ideal Orgs? Why can’t the expanding org, that is delivering more and more auditing and training over that last 22 years afford to just expand up to a larger and nicer location? Why does the org have to resort to “fundraising” all the while the staff is paid far below the poverty level?

8. It’s completely suppressive that staff, considered by most to be the hardest working people on the planet and doing the most important thing for mankind – are paid next to nothing. Pay in class V orgs is so low that it’s impossible to recruit a large staff of competent people (and keep them) because you’re asking them to come on board below the poverty level. A new recruit who doesn’t have someone else who supports them, won’t even be able to afford to buy groceries, and this hasn’t changed in 20 years. If this is the most important activity on the planet – does this make sense to you? It seems to us that LRH never intended it to be this way. He says flourish and prosper, survive in abundance!

9. Very young adults (teenagers) seem to fit the bill well. These children are expected to be “instant adults” and are called “thetans” when in fact, it’s not likely they remember the wisdom of their very last life, and most lack the true wisdom of adults. These young adults have a hard time controlling their own determinism, lacking KRC with life. However, they are easy to indoctrinate into a way of thinking they should do what they do “for the cause” for free, and even if it costs them money to be there. Having a education is secondary to the org’s purpose, and they end up raised as a staff member with little outside world experience. We find this to be an oddly weird. These children are “playing office” while they are getting “trained up” and robotically wielding lightning bolts over all pubic. Dangerous combination!

10. The Sea Org cherry picks local org staff! When they recruit from staff, they claim to “replace” them with new recruits. However, a lot of times the replacements are not viable replacements. If this game is so important and the orgs are so vital, why is it okay for them to cherry pick staff from lower orgs, leaving orgs struggling to always to get hatted up again. We find this suppressive.

11. It’s also completely suppressive to recruit teenagers (heck anyone for that matter) into the SO and then deem them no longer qualified to be on staff, anywhere – if they end up leaving, even if they wanted to join staff at a class V org! Completely suppressive and we are horribly reasonable to not see it.

12. In the Sea Org if you get pregnant, you are off loaded and given your freeloader bill, or you always have the abortion option! Back in the days LRH was around, if an SO member got pregnant they would be sent out to work at a Class V org until their children turned six. Now, they are simply off loaded, given a free loaders bill and told they are not allowed to ever work in any orgs. More resources, to clear the planet, down the drain. Suppressive!

13. Flag coming to class V orgs and regging org public to go to Flag to get their grades, training and do basics in addition to the flag only things…..they say they have perfect auditors and perfectly applied tech….making it feel like we are getting seconds and probably a lot of errors at an org. Even with the GAT.

14. We were told “LRH didn’t write the “Disconnection Canceled” policy, but that probably “some suppressive did it and just put Ron’s name on it”. Well isn’t that comforting? How do we know which PLs were indeed truly authored by LRH? Isn’t it only hearsay at this stage of the game? That PL was written back in 1968. How can anyone be so arrogantly certain that the “reinstatement of the disconnection policy” 15 years later, was really authored by LRH? Think about this statement! When LRH cancelled it in the 60’s he said we had no need for disconnection “because we now have the technology to handle every case”. Ask yourself, does that mean that 15 years later the tech didn’t work anymore, so we needed disconnection again?

15. We were told in the briefing by David Miscavige that LRH decided to drop his body so he could continue his research on upper levels without the hindrance of his body. We were told he was of sound mind and the body was in good health and he was causatively doing this. Yet, after all these years, and after all the lectures, he causatively decided to drop his body without so much as a single personal word to his “following”! That one baffles us. Think about this.

We have experienced pretty horrible situations personally and outpoints so big that they just couldn’t be reconciled. Heather’s experience when she joined the Sea Org and came back to staff was nothing short of sickening! The amount of accumulated bypassed charge I had was incredible. The number of blatant policy violations that adversely affected our family directly through the years are gross and too numerous to go into at this time. Maybe we should write a book as well!

The door to our exit was opened when we watched the CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s show, called “Scientology: A History of Violence”. As unbelievable as this accusation sounded, we actually watched it because our own church spokesperson and others from our church were also on the show. We wanted to see what in the world “we” were being accused of this time, and see how the church defended it.

On the show, we saw fairly recent, very high ranking veteran Ex-International Management members, like ex-CO OSA INT on staff for 25 yrs, Inspector General for Ethics (at the highest level of management for decades), and others of equal magnitude who were accusing David Miscavige of unthinkable crimes! It outlined how the church is ripping families to pieces – unjustly – using our disconnection policy to silence true criticisms. Truthfully, we were leaning toward this being preposterous until we heard our own church’s attorney and our current church spokesperson, Tommy Davis; completely & utterly lie about our church policy regarding disconnection. He and the attorney very believably lied, saying the church has no policy of enforcing disconnection. To say the least, we were stunned to hear this lie and felt additionally that we had just witnessed too much credibility to completely ignore it.

Paul Haggis, a very prominent 35-yr Scientologist (film producer) sent a letter to CNN saying “If they lie about this, what else are they lying about?” That is exactly how we felt. Especially having experience years of many things that just didn’t make sense and ourselves making excuses for too many outnesses.

This started my husband and I on an exhaustive research of the people who were on the show telling their stories. To our surprise, we discovered that these people were whistleblowers! We were not hearing natter, 3rd party or crazy criticism – we were discovering very well written KRs, video interviews, open letters and each discovery opened another “ah ha” moment for us. Now things were making sense! My bypassed charge was decreasing.

Interestingly enough, each and every one of these whistleblowers were subsequently declared. Some were declared for wanting to leave, but most were declared for speaking out against blatant and destructive violations of LHR tech and policy that was NOT BEING HANDLED in decades within the church.

The question we had to ask is why. Why would literally SO MANY dedicated high-level Scientologists of 20, 30 & 40+ years just decide to leave and start speaking out against the church? Are we to really believe that after all these decades of training and processing – or being trusted in the most elite management positions in our church – that they suddenly turned into “suppressive persons” and now want to destroy Scientology? We needed to know WHY they left and what they are whistle-blowing about.

So, for months we researched and with each new thing, turned up something else. Piece by piece our bypassed charge started clearing out. The mass was moving away as things started to make sense now. And to think so many times we thought these mistakes, outpoints and sometimes outright evil dramatizations were mostly because of young inexperienced and often unhatted staff that were running the show these days! Guess what, not only were we wrong in this assumption, we were being reasonable! Out KSW1.

It very soon became very clear WHY the church considers you out-ethics for reading or watching anything dubbed as “anti” Scientology on the internet. Funny, all of us are told that there is danger in running into upper-level confidential OT data that could be dangerous and possibly even fatal to us if we read it – while we’re sure that it’s out there, we never ran into ANY of it in our research. We ran into worse. Much worse! To our horror and without a doubt, we found out that the current church’s own crimes are being exposed by high profile, highly respected veteran international management people, as well as an extraordinary amount of OTs. Many very upstat Scientologists who have donated 100’s of thousands of dollars to Ideal Orgs and the IAS. They’ve walked away and are blowing the whistle. These are people who dedicated their entire LIVES to Scientology and have ended up being labeled as “raving SPs” that the church has to vehemently destroy, with horrible lies and character assassinations.

Further, we have found that people who are discovering this information and talking about it or having doubts about continuing to support and condone the church, are being declared as suppressive persons almost immediately – if the church can’t get them “handled”. We found that the SP Declare was not really being issued as a final ethics gradient, but was being immediately issued as a way to silence the person and to ensure that other Scientologists were forbidden to communicate with them.

Then to just be sure, the SP Declares were written in such a way as to ensure that other scientologist’s viewpoint of them would be slanted and the person’s credibility would be completely discredited. We found proof that in some instances the church utilized confidential confessional information, dropping out time and date of the happenings, to destroy their image. Let me ask you this. Thinking back over every single sec check you’ve ever done, include all your O/W write-ups (leaving out ALL justifiers or so called reasons you committed the OW), and ask yourself, how would it sound if it were taken completely out of context, time and place dropped out and no mention of any ethics handlings having been completed and then put in an issue for all to read? Do you think it would make you look bad?

In our search, we read the stories of hundreds of people. We watched their videos, read what they AND the church had to say in the expose “The Truth Rundown” (published by the St. Petersburg Times) which contained very interesting historical information and facts, as well as fair coverage of what the church’s side is to the whole thing. There were a lot of video interviews of ex-CMOI and WDC upper-management-type people. These interviews stunned us and we had no doubt these people were NOT lying. We read doubt formulas of Veteran New OTVIIIs and highly detailed KRs written by extremely upstat and high level Scientologists. We had the opportunity to evaluate the data against things we’d already experienced and knew to be true.

We discovered there is a huge movement of prominent Scientologists around the world who are demanding that “we” wake up! Most of these people have been walking away since 2004 and they are NOT trying to harm Scientology, these folks are applying KSW1. These Scientologists have come to sadly realize that there is no longer a way for this situation to be handled from within the church and withdrawing one’s support is the answer, per LRH as he describes in The Way To Happiness. He tells you how to handle a suppressive government, he says just simply withdraw your support.

After literally months of exhaustive research, we concluded that it is our reality that the Church is condoning the lying, abuse of policy and tech and covering it up. Ultimately, we could not, in good conscience, ignore the voices of our fellow Scientologists, including, but limited to, Marty Rathbun, Geir Isene, Jenny Miscavige, Ronnie Miscavige, Jason Beghe, Mike Rinder, Amy Scobee, Jeff Hawkins, Mary-Jo Leavitt, Lisa Hamilton, Larry Anderson (the narrator of the Orientation Film), Tom De Vocht, Sherry Katz, Christie Colbran, Paul Haggis, Mark Hamilton, Karen De La Carriere (who by the way, is the ex-wife of the President of the Church of Scientology), and numerous others –

We made our decision – we could no longer condone or support the Church of Scientology as it’s currently managed. Courageously, we, as a family, issued a 14-page letter of resignation to the ethics department of our local org, privately announcing our intention to withdraw our support. You can read our Letter of Resignation here –

This blog site was put together composing much of the stuff we researched – just in case one true friend of 22 years respected us enough to realize we had not dropped off the deep end. Just in case they wanted to look. Guess what, not one single person approached us. Yes, sorry – one did. However, we were unwilling to tell this person because he was the son of our very best friends and we felt he was not stable enough to have this information. Compassion, I call it.

We realized we likely would be quickly labeled as SP’s like all others who stood up before us, however, we are not going to be controlled by “fear” of our own Church either. Labels don’t make one “suppressive”, it only stops others from communicating.

We stood up because it was the only thing that could be done. LRH describes the price of freedom. We know that once a few have the courage to stand up, then more will have the courage to stand up. Staff and management will not be able to ignore us for long, because it’s going to become too obvious that we are not ALL suppressives.

For us, so much by-passed charge is gone! Years of things that have never made sense to us, now make sense! Being labeled as an SP by the current management is meaningless – as we have already lost LRH’s Scientology to criminal and corrupt activities.

Then the day came that the church played GOD. The almighty SP DECLARE was issued on our family. I have it below, and I’m making comments on it, however, I need to say something here.

Here are points you need to know:

1. Jim, Heather and I went to the org and privately gave our resignation to the correct terminals in the org. This was not done “publicly”.

2. The HES was mad, said he was going to be the one to declare us.

3. We all walked away that day and the ONLY one to say or do anything else in the light of “public” was Jim. He was mad and when we got home he decided to post on Facebook what we had done, what Matt said and offered if anyone wanted to read our write up. I disagreed with this. He did it, not Heather and not me. Jim was very upset a few times and blurted things out publicly, Heather I and stayed politely private about our feelings and thoughts.

4. Heather silently came home, deleted all Scientology friends and moved on to her next chapter in life, never talking about it again – she didn’t read any sites EVER and she just moved on. She, in fact, had not committed a single suppressive act.

5. We did not get a comm ev. We did not get a Non Enturb Order. We did not get a hearing. We were not asked clarifying questions as to activities, time place form or event. In fact, we were not even spoken to again after that day, except by the DSA who was showing me LRH policy to refute my stance. I knew she cared deeply and hated our decision to do this. However, what she was showing couldn’t answer our concerns or handle the tons of atrocities that our family had experienced over the years that KRs never resolved. With all this mentioned, please see our goldenrod, almighty God, declaration of independence!


STL Ethics Order #2955 2 1 October 20 10







Jim Little, Meshell Little and Heather Powers of Saint Louis, Missouri, are hereby declared Suppressive Persons per HCO PL 7 March 1965RB I, SUPPRESSIVE ACTS, SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS.

It was recently found that Jim and Meshell had been using ex-Scientologists and Suppressive Persons as their sources for a study of their religion.

—– First of all, wait, huh? Was this a typo? “study of their religion”? You know, we are not even sure what they are accusing us of here. It almost seems as if they are accusing us of getting field auditing or training from SPs. Well, I think someone should cough up some evidence of this because it never happened. If they mean we have been using these people as a source of RESEACH and INVESTIGATION, then it would be true!

They then forwarded black propaganda statements, enemy lines and falsehoods about Scientology organizations, parishioners and Church principals to other Scientologists, thus propagating them, in an attempt to pull those people off The Bridge.

—– Ok, well first of all would it be too much to ask for a less broad generality here? This would be true if you consider that I talked to my immediate family. With what we have discovered of course I told my mother, my son and daughter! I wanted only to allow them to know where I stood on the matter and to find out where they stood. Come on! Duh! This is the real world and we are a real family. However, Jim did offer to any of his Facebook Scientology “friends” to read our resignation letter to see what our side was. That was Jim and not “Jim and Meshell”.

Through investigation it was discovered that Heather had covertly continued to work as a staff member of the Church while knowingly betraying her fellow staff and making secret plans to resign from the Church.

—– This section on Heather is the sickest and most unjust of all. Let me take this up point by point.

—– The truth of this is that our discoveries were discussed with Heather only days previously; however she did not have the months of research and all the data that we had. She decided she would just finish her contract. I thought this would be okay. However, and get this, Heather is a 15 year old who had been on staff since she was 13. She was not supposed to be working over a certain amount of hours, per the law, because of schooling. She ended up being expected to work at least 40 hours a week and when I said she would have to do a straight day schedule so I could more effectively get her schooling done, her senior, the Cope Off, adamantly refused to allow her to do this unless she also came in on Thursday nights at 9:30pm for weekly staff meetings. This was completely unworkable and yet her senior wouldn’t hear of anything else and wouldn’t approve the schedule stating, “I don’t care about your schooling, I care about policy”. After me discussing this in detail with her senior and getting nowhere, that is when we decided Heather was not going to work there anymore. That is when we decided we had to pull her off staff, compose a resignation letter that would explain our decisions and just walk away. She didn’t even go back to the org once this decision was made.

While appearing to be a Scientologist in good standing, she treacherously began allying herself with known SPs and disclosing confidential parishioner information which was then forwarded to websites run by known squirrels, in an attempt to harm the Church and the parishioner.

—– First thought here is what?? This is 100% lies and complete ASSUMPTION of facts. Heather has never been allied with a known SP, and with the exception of us, she has never communicated in any fashion with declared SPs and still hasn’t. The only thing that comes to mind here is when Heather divulged information about a parishioner who had been offered sleeping pills from the ED/CS and then was subsequently locked away in a mental hospital. Heather had no idea that Jim and I had been researching or our decision, at that time she was confidentially mentioning this to me out of her concern/upset for the parishioner and total shock of the situation. Later, it was Jim who posted this information on the Ex Scientology Message Board because he was blown away by this!

While a staff member of the Church, Heather had a record of continual dishonesty and repeatedly not showing up which dumped work on other staff.

—– This statement is a broad generality. There were times Heather was sick and was not allowed to come to post because she had fever. As for dishonesty, I assume Heather’s fear of speaking her mind is what caused her to seem dishonest. As far as dumping workloads, let’s get this straight. Heather started volunteering at the church when she was 13 years old for NO PAY for 6 months before she turned 14. When she started working for pay at 14 years old she made on average $20 PER WEEK even when she was working up to 40 hours. There were numerous times she came in on her days off to help her senior cover a post, and numerous times she babysit another staff member’s children, on her only day off, for free, so they could be on post.

After investigation revealed the actions they were carefully hiding, Jim, Meshell and Heather presented their resignation from the Church rather than seek an on-policy, honest handling.

—– This statement is a gross and blatant lie. What “investigation” are they talking about? Oh, I get it. Jim posted that confidential information on the ESMB just 2 days previous to our decision to submit a letter of resignation and pull Heather off staff. So on the day that we were bringing in our letter we were confronted with this demand to get on the meter. We finally figured out that they were trying to find out how this information had gotten on the internet. It’s very real to me that they would think magically just because they almost got us on the meter that we created a 14 page resignation letter in the hour before they demanded we come to the org for a metered interview and take all the credit for having cracked the case. OMG. They found the right “why” again!

When confronted and given an opportunity to avail themselves of standard Scientology technology to resolve this matter they refused the help offered by Church staff members and then spread lies regarding them.

—– Yes, the HES did offer the day of resignation to show us the “truth” disputing what we believed. The HES, HAS, and COPE OFF sat down with us, after quickly scan reading over our letter and proceeded to tell us how wrong we were. How we had been tricked by SPs. We asked if they had ever looked at what we researched or had they only read what the church is saying about the people saying it. The HES said he had read the church’s dead agent material and need not read more. We asked him if he knew who Pat Broker or Annie Broker were and he had no clue. That sealed it for us. We remember people used to bad mouth Dianetics and when you asked if they had ever read the book themselves or read anything by LRH, they would say some similar thing…..realize, you can’t have an intelligent conversation under these circumstances. We decided there was no way we could be “handled” if they were unwilling to read or listen to what is actually being said out there. This conversation was over.

After this, in exchange for financial gain, Jim then offered his pre-paid legal “services” to help others get refunds and leave the Church.

—– Well what do you know a piece of truth. However, this is only partially true. Jim offered it because he had seen where other people who had left got their unused donations for services back using Pre-Paid Legal services. While others were have trouble getting them because they had no legal representation or advice. He has not made a single dime off this. I’d like to also point out, Heather and Meshell had nothing to do with this either.

A review of Meshell’s ethics file reveals an unchanging pattern of out-ethics towards her fellow Scientologists. These include using Scientology communication lines for profit, heavy promotion of dishonest investments which cost her fellow Scientologists tens of thousands of dollars, driving some of them to hardship or bankruptcy, that she continued to promote against clear direction from the Church that it was unethical. Deeper investigation shows a continuing pattern of pretending to be a knowledgeable and ethical Scientologist while, in fact, squirreling Scientology materials to stop action and enturbulate others.

—– Well, this is an interesting attack on me for sure. Especially when all I did was submit the resignation letter and carefully went silently about my way. They reviewed my ethics file and found information from over 12 years ago and twisted it to use for their own ends in this SP declare. It’s quite gross in my opinion.

Let me address these points. First of all I’m confused by the first point that there is an “unchanging pattern of out-ethics toward her fellow Scientologists”. This is a broad generalization that truly makes me sound horrible. Quite interesting that the things they are mentioning came from a decade ago and since that time I served on staff again, took courses and even had auditing! Do you think this would have happened if I were as described?

The second line was something referring to heavy promotion of dishonest investments. This is twisted up with adjectives added to ensure insidiousness is portrayed. However, let me say it was, sadly & embarrassingly PARTIALLY true. First, there was no heavy promotion and I was not doing this to harm anyone, nor do I believe it was dishonest – however we were ALL tricked and we ALL lost money. Some lost more than others and I took a lot of responsibility and felt more than horrible about it! I did my ethics conditions over 12 years ago and it was completely resolved back then. I have letters from some of these people letting me know that they did not hold me responsible for their losses, because we all knew (in fact signed papers to the fact) that there was risk involved.

The sentence stating “using scientology communication lines for profit” – well, I’m not really sure what all this is about, however, the church, not understanding MLM or Network Marketing, is making it sound very weird and evil.

Line up 50 staff members from Sea Org to orgs and take a survey. Many have NO IDEA what or how network marketing works, and prominent others encourage Scientologists to take advantage of this type of business ownership to make a living! My business partner, Sharon Lyman, and I started a business that was done via network marketing and SOME of the people who were involved were our friends, who were scientologists! It was introduced to us by Scientologists and we had all hoped to make a lot of bridge money.

So these statements just clearly show these young adults wielding lightning bolts again. No worldly wisdom, just uneducated opinions.

The church started dictating to me and Sharon, that the product we were selling and promoting was unethical. It was educational materials teaching people about their rights as tax payers are and taught them how to create legal tax shelters. The church came down on us and said we could not promote the material because it was not true blah blah blah. Even though we heavily disagreed with this evaluation, it ruined our business as we had to stop promoting it. Then, to bring this up over a decade later and act like it’s somewhat current and continuing (or even that it was unethical in the first place) is obviously done to harm my reputation.

Additionally, during this time, my business partner, Sharon Lyman, decided to get drastic with the whole tax concept and personally decided to opt out of the income tax system – she literally stopped paying taxes! I didn’t do this, and expressed to her that she shouldn’t do it either. Later, when she wanted to do scientology services again, she was told she would have to pay back all the taxes if she wanted to come back on services. Even though she fully believed she was within her legal rights (even to this day), she complied. It was THIS that caused them to have to file bankruptcy.

If this is the best they could do to show how evil I am, pulling things from 13 years ago from my ethics file, leaving out important information, twisting it into all one weird event then being so vague that I don’t even know what I’m accused of is highly evil, unethical and low toned! It was done ONLY to make me look bad.

It then said that I pretend to be a knowledgeable and ethical Scientologist while in fact squirreling the materials to stop and enturbulate others. Well, all I can say here is what are you talking about? First of all, I am quite knowledgeable and pretty ethical by most standards. Oh, I think they mean I didn’t donate enough money to the IAS and the Ideal Orgs. Well, I guess I’m guilty.

They are not Scientologists, they are squirrels. This is evaluation and I have not seen any proof of this accusation. Sadly, they (the church) are liars.


“Suppressive acts are defined as actions or omissions- undertaken to knowingly suppress, reduce or impede Scientology or Scientologists.”

Jim and Meshell Little and Heather Powers are guilty of the following Suppressive Acts:






Additionally, Heather is guilty of the following Suppressive Act:


All certificates and awards issued to Jim Little, Meshell Little, and Heather Powers are hereby cancelled. Any licenses or agreements that they may have acquired to use any of the trademarks or service marks of Dianetics or Scientology are likewise cancelled and any membership agreements that they may have signed with any Church of Scientology are also cancelled.

Should they come to their senses and recant, they may apply steps A-E as covered in HCO PL 7 March 1965RB I, SUPPRESSIVE ACTS, SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS.

Their only terminal is the International Justice Chief via the Continental Justice Chief.

220 responses to “Three generations in St Louis, gone with the wind

  1. One by one the flock leaves. The floodgates are about to open and people will start leaving in droves.

    The time has come to FINALLY let the world KNOW what a scam the C of S really is.

    DM is an evil and manipulative dude and all of his parishioners are sold a bill of goods.

    He is a bad dude!

  2. Kathy Braceland

    Wow. Nicely said! Welcome to the band of Merry Men.

  3. Jim, Meshell, Heather, Edie,
    If it’s any consolation, amongst the myriad generalities, falsehoods and drubbings of the truth that these issues represent, they really should cut to the chase and avoid the sonorous, spurious, specious phrasings of pretend adults, and say what they mean – you are poo-heads.

    I’m a poo-head too and I’ve my very own Golden Rod to prove it.

    These issues should replace newpapers for Data Series drills on spotting illogics.

  4. Jim, Meshell, Heather and Edie: Welcome to the world of REAL Scentology. Excellent write up. Very real. It will ring true with a LOT of people who have similar experiences. But in the midst of the horror story, there is quite a lot to laugh about — the actions of Golden Scientology have truly become laughable! Not the least of which is the absolute gem of a first sentence of your GoldenAgeRod(r) Declare. I was laughing out loud. OMFG you actually had the temerity to engage in “a study your religion.” This from the religion that promotes itself as where you learn to “think for yourself” and loudly announces that a fundamental principle of Scientology is that nothing is true unless it is true for you, and holds itself up as a champion protecting freedom of speech and religion. What a hoot they have become. Whoever wrote that should be hired by Saturday Night Live.

  5. Welcome to the Independents Jim, Meshell, Heather and Edie! I do hope that Jeremy wakes up, and you all are re-united again. It is truly sick the way the staff-bots in the CoS just act as if all this is normal.

    A very disgusting excuse for a “church”.

    But I know you are enjoying your freedom and can now finally move up the Bridge with Independent auditors. I’ve been doing so myself (getting the Grades), and not only is it affordable, but the wins and gains are tremendous.

    I wish all the best to your family and Thank You for speaking up!

    (p.s. Any advice on using Pre-Paid Legal Services to get a repayment would be much appreciated.)

  6. Meshell, Jim, Heather & Edie, what a beautiful family. This is such a win for the Independents! You are all to be commended for your time on staff, your time as public and for speaking out. I do believe your Son will reach his tipping point, those still in will also. I wish you all of you a beautiful life full of truth, happiness, many friends and prosperity. I am delighted to meet you all. Love Carol

  7. My Gosh ! I don’t know what to say .But welcome to the Indepedence

  8. Welcome Jim and Meshell (and Heather),

    He’s likely being indoctrinated to believe that we are all JUST THETANS and it is a “fake” mother/son relationship anyway. I say this because on occasions when Sea Org folks were trying to recruit my children, they told me, “they are thetans, not YOUR children”!

    They used this line in reverse on my daughter Hailey and told her “they are thetans, not YOUR parents!”

    After you decompress, you will find life enjoyable again and enjoy real freedom. I feel your pain for your son as I am experiencing the same thing with my daughter. The sad thing is, it is being reinforced by her mother Angela Lemay, who also disconnected from me.

    Your write-up is SPOT ON on so many places and if I could i would one thing: If a Scientologist is one of the able people to CONFRONT the evil occurring on the planet, how come so many of us have a hard time looking in our own back yard.

    It’s hard to speak about the crimes occurring in COS with kinfolk and friends who have little confront. IT TAKES A LOT OF CONFRONT TO LOOK AT THE CURRENT SCENE. Especially if you are financially involved.

    Scientologists who work for and have income from other Scientologists will have the least CONFRONT of all because it affects their livelihood.

    To this day I have not seen my declare and I really don’t care as I know it is full of a bunch of false data and it’s only purpose is to discredit me. In fact, OSA has gone so far as to start publishing more slander on the Internet about me, (and I’m watching them dig their own grave and will happily be the one POUNDING THE NAILS IN THE COFFIN when the time comes).

    OSA is the part of the Church that runs wild and creates a lot of the animosity that exists in the public today. And their covert means of getting guinea pigs like Souxie and Grant Boshoff to do the dirty work will only come back to bite them in the ass, as has been proven by so many OSA terminals who have left in disgust because of the lies OSA creates and perpetuates.

    The problem is, the people doing the “dirty work” are good Scientologists who tricked into believing they are doing GOOD by discrediting their fellow Scientologist, and then these people “get involved” by their crimes.

    And every TRUE SCIENTOLOGIST who is willing to keep the code of honor “in” by CONFRONTING these injustices, and knowingly does so in spite of attacks by OSA, is a true friend of LRH, Scientology and truth.

    OSA does not deal in truth: Outrageous lies, manipulation and slander are its bread and butter. And OSA terminals will have their own hell to deal with.

    In the meantime, flourish and prosper and and keep moving forward!

  9. It’s obvious that using “SP Declares” and “disconnection” in an effort to shut people up is like pouring gasoline on a fire to put it out. It’s amazing to watch the flow of the gasoline get increased as the fire gets bigger. The unthinking, robotic operating basis of this “religion” will be its guaranteed demise.
    Like your family, Amy and I would have never spoken out if not for the “SP Declares” and “disconnection”. We would have been just happy to get on with life ….. but no. We were forced to take action if we ever hoped for the basic freedom of talking to our family and friends.

    While it has been a financial and social distraction, we have self published a book (Scientology – Abuse At The Top) and have done interviews with newspapers, magazines, radio stations, TV stations and government agencies throughout the U.S., Canada, several European countries, Africa, Australia and New Zealand.

    We are just one example of the reverse affect caused when “SP Declares” and “disconnection” are used in an effort to silence people. Despite this, I guarantee this mindless, insane “church” will use its last dying breath to spit gasoline on the fire.

  10. It’s a wonderful write-up. Congratulations to all four of you for your courage. I’m praying too that Jeremy won’t let the disconnection stand for long. ❤

  11. Hi Margaret,

    I am an independent associate with Pre-Paid Legal which means I am licensed or authorized to sell services to others. If you would like to know more about about their services here is a good video that explains their services.

    Jim Little

  12. Jim, Meshell, Heather, Edie,

    Well that pretty much sums it it: The COM is dead. Anyone have any doubt?

    And how apropos that this is posted on Halloween. A horror story to scare little children and adults alike. The “church” has become some macabre version of “Night of the Living Dead”.

    Good folks, enjoy your lives with the freedom to actually practice Scientology. Who needs to be mired down with countless outpoints.

    ML, Tom

  13. That you are declared is an improvement, make no mistake. Life is far sweeter without the Cof$ in it. I go way way back with Scientology, did my time in it before LRH was gone, saw the crazyness as DM was still ascending to power. I am in St. Louis and am here for you, email me at


  14. Edie, Heather, Meshell, Jim, Great you flipped DM the bird 😉

  15. Jim, Meshell, Heather and Edie, congratulations on your new found freedom. You must have done some serious research that scared the living daylights out of the devil himself him to actually receive a written declare as most people only get a verbal declare like provisional SP, borderline SP, partial SP, future SP, Kingpin SP, etc. For you it must be a comforting and freeing experience to finally fight back and regain cause over your own destiny. You’re yet another proof that Marty and crew is extremely effective in getting people to find out for themselves, something Davey has wanted for decades. Even though he’s been ranting about it, he can’t get any of his postulates without help. Well done for helping him out on this one, for hammering yet another nail in his coffin and for adding to the spiraling path of back lashing declares.

  16. ExIntStaffMember

    Cof$ sucks but you all rock! Corporate Scientology is clearly guilty of libelling you to your former friends and associates and most importantly, to your son. As a result of their written libel and verbal slander of you, your son will no longer associate with you. I hope someday that your courageous action of exposing Corporate Scientology’s use of libel and slander against you will contribute to LEGAL action being brought to bear against these crooks for their institutional defamation of people who have the temerity to question their “authority.”

  17. Good for you.
    I am sure you will get much more out of scientology as independents. That seems to be happening all over the place.
    And Edie, your response was just perfect. Disconnect from your daughter and grand-daughter or the church. They must be soft in the head. That was a no-brainer for you. You have a wonderful family.
    And remember, the church of scientology left you. You can do a thousand things for the organization, but the first time you say no or question its authority, your no good. I think most folks consider the unfairness of that as reason enough to recenter their universe. Best wishes.

  18. “These issues should replace newpapers for Data Series drills on spotting illogics.” No kidding! Great idea!

  19. The EP of the Golden Age of Tech is a Goldenrod.

    Congratulations, all of you, and welcome to the wonderful, free world of Special People. 🙂

  20. Hello, you 4 Heroes!

    There seems to exist a “precise technology” (well enforced) in writing these generalized, unspecific and outright false (T)issues.

    Don’t think my declare differs from yours! It doesn’t. I would almost bet that most of these Declares speak of “long term patterns”, “hidden intents”, and that a “careful/thorough/deep investigation … r-e-v-e-a-l-e-d” …. oh well, what? Something that always existed in broad daylight but was found suitable to be twisted out of context and given the opposite meaning.

    You even take the pain to explain the points in your declare, even add what you felt bad about – I mean, come on, isn’t that one of the SP characteristics? It’s all quite ridiculous, really!!

    Wishing you to get your son out of there fast.

  21. Welcome Jim, Meshell, Heather and Edie! Your timetrack of events clearly shows a full and thorough investigation of both sides, an excellent doubt formula for sure.

    Disconnection is still being practiced for anyone who thinks it has stopped, it hasn’t. One of the greatest things about thetans is the ability to change one’s mind, including Jeremy.

    Though you lost some old “friends” you have gained many many more. We are here to listen, communicate and share ideas and we welcome yours as well.

    One thing that comes to mind is the WTH precept “Try To Treat Others As You Would Want To Be Treated” and the church does not even come close to applying this…talk about being glib. This is a very powerful precept and it is one of the reasons that I continue to blog about the Scientology abuses.
    I want others to treat me in an honest and fair manner. I used to think the church did this, now I know better…I had been hoodwinked. Hopefully I can end this trachery for someone else. I’m glad you watched CNN and now stand free!

  22. Well done Meshell, Jim, Heather and Edie.These departure stories are so familiar now, so consistent in their context that they are in danger of becoming staid and “old news”. It’s true, as I have experienced, that those rank-and-file public at the bottom of the food chain mostly have NO CLUE of the extent of the abuses and the seriousness of the situation. Bridging that reality gap is hard, but somehow must be done. Even though the outpoints are all around them, public largely have their heads firmly in the sand. I actually had an OT VIII recently tell me she thought everything was going just fine in the Church.

    I saw the Jonestown documentary in a new unit of time today and some of the parallels to the current scene at the Int base are uncanny – especially the atmosphere and mindset in the weeks building up to the tragedy, and very scary. May I suggest respectfully that those who haven’t seen this do so at some point soon…

  23. Wow, oh wow! Stunning write up, thanks for sharing, I’m sure & hopeful it will impinge on anyone that reads it.
    It is always a wonder to me that many haven’t realised there is a war going on, the war for sanity. The hardest concept & statistic to grasp is the casualty rate. I too have lost a couple of family members whom I haven’t commed with for years. But hey, distasteful as it is and remarkable how low the lows can go, the ones such as yourselves and many others are puttting up a good fight – the truth will set you free, but it’s a costly battle at times. Best of luck to you.

  24. Watching Eyes

    Congratulations on seeing the truth and not compromising. I especially liked the way Heather deleted her Facebook friends; nothing like a preemptive strike!
    Here’s a video I watched the other day. I found it on Jeff Hawkin’s site. It’s about 40 minutes long and well worth watching. It’ll come in handy for your son.

  25. Jim, Meshell, Heather, and Edie – I want to commend you on your courage. Jeremy will come around. As a good friend of mine told me at around that age, “Don’t worry, I was once young and stupid, too!”

    Can we all agree on one thing? Can we all agree to let our kids GROW UP? To be on staff at 13, 14, 15, and then be berated for wanting to get to school, working 50 hours per week – I’m sorry, but let us be clear:

    We are not going to clear the planet in five years. It is NOT NOT NOT urgent. It is NOT so urgent that we have to screw up this lifetime, disavow our children, make our children slave away at an org that will CONSUME them. There is a reason we have these ignorant kids (no offense, Heather – I was on staff at 16, and I was ignorant then, as well, as I should have been because I WAS 16 YEARS OLD) running things, and it is because WE LET THEM.

    David Miscavige was a kid in charge. Look what happened. Marc Yager was a kid in charge – look at what we have. The church is run buy a child who never grew up and was given the keys to the kingdom at an age where usually they are starting their careers as gofers for people who know what is happening.

    Can we agree to let our kids grow up? And education – a full education – is so important to living life that we are stealing a child’s life when we let them go off and join staff, join the SO, join any group that does not value education and development.

    Meshell – you have been a Scientologist for 22 years, on staff for 5, and you are Grade 0? Excellent for being Grade 0, but my God! It is okay to go up the bridge. I am NOT chiding any of you – please don’t take it this way. What I am saying is that the Church let you and your family down. This is NOT how it should be, but sadly is. I have friends from my old home town, people who have been in for thirty-five to forty years who are in the same boat – no Bridge progress. I have another friend who has been in since 1979 – still not trained, very little grade chart progress. But, this person spent/donated HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS to the church.

    The number one cause of ARC Breaks is NO AUDITING. (Another thing the Church of David M seems to overlook in the reality of the Tech).

    Okay – So I can “get sudden” too!

    Jim, Meshell, Heather, and Edie – I am very, very happy for you. Live!

  26. Oh, and by the way – yes, they are Thetans, but they are OUR CHILDREN.


    THAT is the “enemy line.” Talk about screwing with the future. How do you mess up the future generations of Scientologists? You either prevent them from being born (abortion), or screw up their lives (enslave them and keep them as stupid and uneducated as Dear Leader is).

    In other words, that “Thetan” is MINE until he or she is eighteen, and from then on, he or she is STILL mine (but, they get to make a few more life choices on their own). 😉

  27. one of those who see

    What a beautiful family! Thank you for taking the time to post your very thorough write up. You are shining a light on the out points. Communication lines between Scientologists and Non Scientologists is wide open out here and we are growing. I am so happy that you have added your voice.
    The Int Base has gone from being a secret place in the shadows to a place with helecopters hovering above shining spot lights on the abuses and squirrel tech and admin.
    I am so sorry you have to endure the pain of disconnection from your son. Unfortunately, you are part of a very large group of people suffering from the Church policy of enforced Disconnection. It is barbaric and it’s end is near.

  28. Meshell Little

    Rory, I only hope the people who “know”, the ones who truly feel deep down that something is wrong – all start looking!! Soon! LRH says “withdraw support”. We need to do it.

    HOLY COW – I always said if Jesus walked in right now and told us he was Jesus, we’d all say he was nuts. Well, that is a weird analogy to the KSW1, but you know, the org scene is so completely out KSW1 right now, that anyone who points it out is called nuts!
    Thanks for your support 🙂

  29. Dear Meshell and Jim,

    welcome into freedom land ! I feel for you regarding all you have been through. But “life is in you today, and you make your tomorrow”.

    I respect the intelligence, integrity and confront that you have put into your extensive writeup here. Be assured that you are not the only ones that have been subject to libelling and slandering declares. Just to give you an example :

    A person I know got his declare. It stated “he had sex with his preclear”. Seems to be disgusting, right ? Wrong ! The actual situation was that HE HAD AUDITED HIS GIRLFRIEND ! Talk about omitting data …

    You have asked : “Are we to honestly believe that St. Louis org is the only one that has NOT grown in 20 years? “. Here is a bit of an answer :

    During the 1970ies Scientology was established in Germany and expanded into a number of orgs and missions. Its culmination point was probably near 1990. Since then the membership has been shrinking slowly. Today there are about 80 % of the 1990 membership.

    This constitutes a long term trend of emergency. But I seem to remember a reference stating that a very long term emergency will become danger – I’m not sure of this though.

    According to my knowledge, the “unprecedented expansion” is more or less similar in countries nearby, like Netherlands, Belgium, France, Austria, Switzerland, Denmark.

    Wishing you all the best,
    Han Solo

  30. Meshell Little

    Thank you, Kathy! And I would say I’m happy to be here, and I am, in a way – however wouldn’t it have been so much nicer to have never had to go this way?
    I appreciate the warm welcome! Feel strange too. I don’t know the rules anymore 😦

  31. Alex Braverman

    Today is October 31, 2010. Halloween, how befitting that you announce your goldenrods to the world today.

    About these Goldenrods~
    This is akin to the “Church” admitting you are driving a stake through the evil lies of the ‘Church’ of David Miscavige – and they hate you for it.

    Happy Halloween!

  32. Meshell Little

    LOL, Jim! Exactly! *still thumbing through my dictionary looking up the word, spurious…….* Be back shortly 😉


  33. Meshell Little

    I know Mike, right? I am still not sure if they meant study of the religion or research of it…..blah. I know young whipper snappers wrote it, but who the heck approved it?

    Another point to ponder is – do you realize how many SP declares have just came out last week? I know of 3. I think some double hatted CJC or IJC just came back from being gone and started stamping.

    There are at least 2 type of declares. The one where you get it after several earlier ethics gradients have not “done the trick”. Then these type of “I’ll shut you up now and nobody will believe you!” God, I’m up to my eyeballs sick of misapplication of LRH ethics and admin tech!

    Course, I was the only lucky one to get a copy of it. And, since it contains extreme libel in it …. need I say more? Do I remind you of someone who slumps off with a tail between the leg? Speaking of this, Jim sent you an email asking a couple really important questions regarding this point. Did you get the email? If not, please let me know what email address you use. Oh wait, he sent via a Facebook message.

    High Five and thanks for standing up first!!!!

  34. I laughed (happily) at the same parts of your writeup that Marie-Joe did over on Jeff’s blog — the parts where each of you responded in your own special way. Jim got mad, Heather moved on, and Meshell documented it all, and Edie said, “No, I’m disconnecting from the church!” Each of you behaved as you should have done — as you chose to do!

    I’m so happy to see you connecting up online and finding new friends and support. Interestingly, there are a lot more of ‘us’ out here than there are ‘them’ in there. It’s like a play where the players don’t know they’re on a stage or reading from a script, and the audience watching them is much bigger than the cast.

    So welcome to the improv group called “Life After the Cult.” And keep writing your own lines. I know you will enjoy the performance!

    Just Me

  35. Yes there are so many outpoints in the Church of Squirrelotology that it’s hard to know where to start.

    But we can begin with false stats (out admin) that lead us overt products (out tech) and the injustices (out ethics) covered in your write up and similar reports by others to locate the actual why.

    (not some stupid or unusable “why” like “the blind leading the blind” and “lack of drilling”.
    I mean what moron thought those up?)

    Instead creating the Golden Age of Stupidity or GAS which is what this screed masquerading as an “ethics order” represents.

    Altered or dropped time, altered importance or outright falsehoods regarding events, omitted places like what Galaxy?

    And finally “form” that doesn’t take into account similarities, differences,and identities making the person who wrote it seem like a complete raving psychotic to me.

    This they call an “ethics order”?

    ‘scuse me…..


    Like Jeff wrote in his article ‘Types of SPs’. It makes the word “suppressive” totally meaningless and in many cases a badge of honor.

    Worse though it knocks out any valid tech related to the subject of SPs and PTSes. For without it Ron would have never been able to develop the level known as ‘Power’ or the PTSRD or the Suppressed Person Rundown which has the EP of putting the person back into communication with the “suppressive”.

    Not to mention leaving the Org open to actual suppressives (yes Virginia there actual suppressives who seek the destruction and/or enslavement of humanity) like Miscavige for example who aside from being a complete moron is a raving psychotic SP (let’s not mince words here since any tertiary investigation of his activities since assuming the pretentious post of “COB” would reveal a litany of High Crimes committed against the subject and Scientologist that would pale in comparison to what we could flippantly call a “SP Declare” ) and his team of Degraded Beings (the ones who work for suppressives only and out number us 18 to 1 ref: HCOPL Degraded Beings and Alter-is).

    The only problem is that the powers that be seem to want Miscavige where he is.

    This is obvious to me.

    Because if this wasn’t the case then the little cretin would have been frog marched out of our misery a long time ago along with his accomplices who commit illegal acts on an almost daily basis.

    So contrary to what seems to be a popular belief.

    I don’t think a Government “investigation” will do any good.

    Which leaves only us and the truth.

  36. Meshell Little

    Thank you for your kind words Margaret. I am either in denial and “all knowing”, because I feel there will come a day that Jeremy comes back too. He must be in hell right now. I’m thinking, just let a couple bull sh….* things happen to him now, and see how he reacts.

    My oldest son, Travis Harmon, has also been affected by this. He lives a ways from here, but he always considered himself a Scientologist too. He feels very angry that Jeremy could do this. Travis says he’s getting a refund and done with them.

    I’m interested in getting field auditing, but it is really a mishmash that I find confusing to get through now. Who is doing what, where and how. I’m feeling so betrayed by the whole subject, I think it will be a minute before I can correctly sort out the field auditing.

    Like I said in an earlier post, I’m sort of lost without knowing the “rules” of the new group. Heck, there are a lot of splinter groups….. 😦 Guess I need a locational.

    Meshell 🙂

  37. Meshell Little

    Thank you so much for your beautiful words of encouragement.

    I’m hoping Edie gets out here and starts reading this. There is so much flow of power here!

    Thanks so much!

  38. Meshell Little

    Thank you Hadley!!!! I’ll put the coffee on! 😉 On second thought, I’ll bring the Starbucks!!

  39. Meshell Little

    Well said, Brett!

    You said, “And every TRUE SCIENTOLOGIST who is willing to keep the code of honor “in” by CONFRONTING these injustices, and knowingly does so in spite of attacks by OSA, is a true friend of LRH, Scientology and truth.” BINGO BABY!!!!

    I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. These things enrage me! No agency less than God has the right.

    Thank you and I’m glad to be part of the independents. Even if I am in confusion and don’t know which way is up yet.. 😉


  40. Hey RJ,
    I found a cool definition of “IAS Briefing”.

    “IAS Briefing” means the public comes in nicely dressed, listens to the phony “wins” of the IAS, then hears about the “catastrophe requiring immediate handling” for which “we need your donations to pull it off”. When it’s all over, public go home wearing nothing but their Briefs, because the IAS reges have made them cough up everything else they owned, right down to their shoes. The reges quote the Standard IAS Senior Policy: “Strip, or go to Ethics!”

    Thankfully, they don’t go as far as “de-briefing” the public – yet.

  41. Actually Jim, there’s poo head, but then there’s borderline poo head, provisional poo head and kingpin poo head.

  42. WOW! Powerful stuff. It’s so great to see so many standing up for what they believe in. Every day, more and more are coming forward. Imagine how many are just waiting for the day they will do the same!
    Are you reading this blog Davey? Everyone is tired of your bullshit and lies and they’re not gonna take it anymore! (that’s including the slapping, punching and your “unhealthy relationship with Mr. Cruise) and the list goes on……. but you get the picture right Davey?
    Good luck to your whole family and I hope your son follows in your footsteps soon.

  43. Hello Littles and Welcome Out To Freedom.. Contrary to the last name, I think the Littles are pretty big people, to step out decisively as you have and with such a united front! Well done.

    I believe the Bridge as it is meant to be is available out in here in full. As you get oriented out here and make some connections I’m sure you will find what you need/want.

    It’s a real shame the Co$ does not take care of it’s staff’s auditing and training any better than it does, but from what I’ve heard, a person is better off not getting the kind of “auditing” the Co$ is offering these days.

  44. Meshell,
    I have heard good things about about Midwest Tech Center located in Indiana, which might be a good place to start looking. They are in the top 10 results in Google.

  45. one of those who see

    “5. We heard from personal friends that in the 70’s orgs (and missions) were bursting at the seams. LRH went off the lines, odd things started happening and the orgs started shrinking. Reports went to LRH that David Mayo was an SP – he was declared and gotten off the lines. At that point, orgs should have had huge expansion and grown even bigger; however they did not stably grow. Really? Well, have you ever seen an org bursting at the seams since 1982? ”

    Exactly! Very important point! If the correct Why is found, then improvement, expansion should be seen. Was just speaking about this with a friend the other night. We were on staff in a city where 2 missions closed. One Mission Holder was declared. I’m not sure if the other one was. This was in the early 80’s. It’s been 27 years and, yep – no missions still in that city! I was new then, and have been reading a bit here and there about how harshly the mission holders were treated back then. For accuracy’s sake, I believe there is an org or mission that did open all the way uptown and a mission did open in a state next door that wasn’t there in the early 80’s. But, still it’s been 27 years! That’s not even mediocre expansion.
    Then, I read about how the upstat Trey Lotz was treated and noticed that I know of very few Field Auditors too.
    Looks to me that DM and Management violated HCOPL 10 Dec. 1969
    Superior Service Image Page 585 OEC Vol 6
    It is no real concern of ours to try to hold the field versions standard. They mess up pcs and students. They always will. A militant org attitude to keep the field straight is silly. Let them flub as you are trying to control something you cannot. You can only do the best you can by teaching the best you can in the org.
    The real org action is to put it out that IN AN ORG WE USE AND TEACH HIGH-GRADE STANDARD TECH IN DIANETICS and SCIENTOLOGY…”

  46. Gloutan Thetan

    DM, as a psychotic SP, is only “interested” on destroying because of his terror of others. How could we possibly treat him (OT Operation) as a thetan for ceasing his dramatisation ?

  47. Scott Campbell

    Good job you guys. Thanks for coming out.


    Something you said in your write-up was very interesting to me. Regarding young people on staff you said:

    “Having a education is secondary to the org’s purpose, and they end up raised as a staff member with little outside world experience. We find this to be an oddly weird. These children are “playing office” while they are getting “trained up” and robotically wielding lightning bolts over all pubic. Dangerous combination!”

    It reminded me of this quote from Theodore Roosevelt: “To educate a man in mind, and not in morals, is to educate a menace to society.”

    It’s true. By isolating young scientologists from the world at large, the C of S is creating it’s own “Miscavige Youth” who are fully indoctrinated into the unreal and unworkable mindset of David Miscavige.

    “Scientogenics” doesn’t work because there is no such thing as a completely objective common reality. Postulated absolutes trap beings into fixed ideas. Over-zealous pursuit of black and white values, Green on White policy or Miscavige’s mis-application of Red on White tech for that matter are nothing more than attempts to create an objective common reality, thus creating universal fixed ideas.

    In your case, I’m glad you guys don’t agree with the C of S and took the bold step of coming out publicly.

    I recommend the following video as a primer to delving into the subject of cult methodologies and dynamics. Karen Pressley, Paul Grosswald and Steve Hassan talk from Steven A Hassan on Vimeo.

    L, Scott

  48. Hey guys,

    Great post and wonderful pictures! I see you are able to see the humor in all of this. I am proud of you and what you all did. Glad I could be part of it.

    Keep flourishing and prospering!

    You know how to reach me if you need me for anything.


  49. Jim, Meshell, Heather, and Edie,

    You are so warmly welcomed into this world outside of DM’s cult.
    It appears there is a NEW EXIT STRATEGY falling into place which you all have been shining examples of~~

    1) KR the out points and put it all in writing for appropriate terminals within the Church (resulting in adverse backlash from within.)

    2) Write a letter of resignation clearly stating point after point of what is deemed unacceptable conduct in a *CHURCH* (Shortly after a vitriolic declare full of spin, hatred and LIES is issued)

    3) Go on the Internet and post on Marty’s blog and other boards like Jeff’s. ESMB the full story.

    4) COMBAT the extremes LIES and fabrication in the declare by putting the facts out on these blogs.

    +++++Whoa ! 20,000 to 30,000 will read these BLOGS, twitter, YouTube and so on in 24 hours !!!!!!!!
    +++++How many read the fraudulent SP declare ? It is HIDDEN in an MAA drawer in select locations for *DISCREET* viewing by those concerned.

    +++++ The Latest “SP” gets their message out to the public more than 100X in volume and faster than their Golden Rod.

    Lately more categories of SPs have been discussed.

    Borderline SP
    Future SP
    Provisional SP
    Verbal SP
    Tame SP
    BAD SP
    Flip Flop SP
    Negotiable SP.

    Jeff Hawkins did a BRILLIANT prediction of the next generation of SPs~~
    You can see where this is heading, can’t you? Having stripped the term SP of any real meaning it may have had and turned it into a political term, the next step will be the complete commercialization of the word. Thus, we’ll have:
    The Negotiable SP: SP will become a marketable commodity. Except in reverse. Instead of getting people to want it, you get people to want to get rid of it. And you offer to cancel the declare if they do exactly what you want. “If you do us this favor, we’ll cancel your SP declare.”
    “If you speak out publicly and disavow against the bad SPs, we’ll cancel your SP declare.” Maybe they’ll even start accepting a cash payment, just like the Medieval indulgences!
    Actually, it’s a pretty good reverse marketing gimmick. Invent a derogatory term, label people with it, then offer to “remove the label” if they do something for you.

    END of QUOTE

    Now why is it that I am certain the Little family will not be NEGOTIABLE or FLIP FLOP SPS ?????

  50. Just as a side note if anyone is interested in Pre-Paid Legal go to their website at for more information regarding their services. While I could probably sell you a membership and make a commission that was never my intention so please find someone in your local area to assist you or I could help find someone for you.

    Again, thank you all for your kind words and overwhelming support of friendship.

    Jim Little

  51. very true so by their works, doingnesses, you would know them.

  52. Meshell Little

    Matt thank you for commenting to us. I want you and Amy to know that her book was the seal on the deal for my certainty that I was leaving.

    Having been on staff for five years and family on staff outside of that time, I was absolutely sure she wasn’t lying in her book! I watched her interviews too and she was just completely on the money.

    The ending of the book such a love story. My first thought was that it should be a movie! She gave me so much strength by coming out with that book.

    I am still laughing because you are so right about the SP Declares and Forced Disconnections are pouring gasoline on fire! Just blows me away the MU on the word “public”. HES said he was going to declare us for public disavowal of scientology! Oh please!!!

    Hey Church of Scientolgoy……consider our story here a demo of the word PUBLIC. Now, go clear the word. THIS was a public disavowal of the CHURCH.

    I personally have not walked away from Scientology. Sort of hard to do that when I used it in my life every day. But I will admit I have a lot of confusion to work through and see what is what out here.

    I think Joanne Cook said it well when she said trying to find her identity now.

    Hugs to you both!

  53. Meshell Little

    Thanks Heather. I know I’m wordy though! Could have used KTL – My sweet Jeremy. He needs so much guidance. I won’t say more, but I feel sad he is so on his own now.

  54. Huh???? You’ve always lived by policy and not squirreled. Always have cleared your words and have helped others try to achieve what you have done. Just BE and your doingnesses are great and I’m sure you will shortly have. I’m funny, huh?

  55. Meshell Little

    Awesome Pete! Awesome! I’m really happy to have comm lines here locally. I will write to you. Are you on Facebook?

    I agree with you so much on being on the outside. Freedom without feeling wrong.

  56. Hi Margaret, I sent a “Despatch” type letter first with my SRV # and asked my money be returned. Haven’t heard anything and that’s been a couple of months ago. I sent another “Despatch” type and reminded the treasurer that I want my money and hope I can get it without an attorney. So, we shall see.

  57. one of those who see

    Look at the beautiful theta faces in the pictures. These people are examples of Suppressive Persons! I just start laughing. The Church has lost it’s mind.

  58. Thank you and it has been a trip. I’m glad we are no longer on “The Road to Nowhere”

  59. Your obnosis is incredible refreshing and of course spot on.
    Be vigilant about making sure everyone you know reads it.
    As the apple does not fall far from the tree, your son will soon be joining you (with his girlfriend) in the quest to get real scientology the way Ron indented it to, and the way we all want it.
    I am never wrong – trust me this will happen.
    Outside the church scientology IS flourishing and prospering – but more importantly the people availing themselves are happy, flourishing and prospering.
    Welcome to the real SCN, and be prepared to have a continues search of happiness and power – the very power you experienced when STARTING in SCN, and before the first suppressions form management /stupid staff started happening.
    You ALREADY got the tech – all you lost (drew away) is the chains which prevented the tech from working. (for my wife’s and my write up & current activities)
    There IS no shortage of real tech delivered in the independent zone s you can see on this site and as you will soon see on your own!

  60. Great write-up!!
    Thank you so very much!

    There are many people from Class V Orgs who will definitely identify with what you are saying.
    Your story will help people.
    I have seen many friends “get butchered” at the local Org by the weirdnesses. A lot of these folks have been involved with Scientology for decades.

    David Miscavige’s insanity is contagious and has spread throughout the Churches.

  61. Meshell Little

    Bad me…..we didn’t know we should not have been honest in our resignation letter. We truly believe that DM is an SP and we believe he should step down, and we told them exactly that in our resignation letter.

    You don’t think this had anything to do with it do you?

    Funny. Our HES actually told us we should have been covert about the whole thing. He said you could have just disappeared in the night like a lot of folks do…..(did you catch that? We did! “a lot of folks do”). Yes, we could have, but we would not have had our personal integrity either.


  62. I got my TR’s and Objectives after the Purif then went on to do my Grades 0-4, thanks to my daughter and then when my intensives ran out, I bought my own auditing at half price. I feel that I have a handle on life and can create the effects I want. AND I know that I’m responsible for some of the effects I getthat I don’t want. LRH is great with the “how to’s” in life.

  63. Heeee Heeeeee

  64. Yep, look out when Meshell has had enough and nothing to lose (with the Co$)

  65. SALUTE

  66. Right you are. I thought they were crazy when they said “disconnect” and you know, they are. Who in their right minds would be in an organization that took your children. Must be a throwback to “cannibalism”.

  67. ΘTater/GaryLerner

    “The EP of the Golden Age of Tech is a Goldenrod.”
    That’s what DeviledMiscommer has tattooed on his tanning-bed-toasted ass!

    Gary 🙂
    (a villager still carrying a torch for DM.)(flick, flick, flicking my Bic…)

  68. As for myself: I am Olden age of tech from 0-4 and GAT as well. I learned how to be a good robot as well. I am a very good wordclearer as I love others and want them to win. I was not a robot wordclearer though and got crammed accordingly because I was real. I am through Grade 4. I totally love all the cause I can be now. I was at Reception for over a year and heard a lot come through my lines. Being the Ext. Crs Supe was for me too. I had 34 active students on the Basics. I was doing a great job and getting my auditing. I paid well over ten thousand a year for my auditing at staff rates. I thought everything was peachy until what happened to Heather and the SO. And then when she got back. She is a smart cookie. She worked many hours being the Dir of Comm and not getting her schooling and was not being treated well by her seniors and that was when Meshell said “enough is enough”. This may have already been said, but hey, the more times over??

  69. Hip hip hooray (loud applause)

  70. Beautiful

  71. martyrathbun09

    Hi Edie. Thanks for gracing this place with your words.

  72. ΘTater/GaryLerner

    Welcome Jim, Meshell, Heather, Edie to your “Turning Away”!

    Your courage to spot what are lies and then act upon them is the test of Honor and Integrity. Don’t worry about the confusion. Don’t worry about all the new things swirling around your very theta universes. Chaos arrives like clockwork when stable datums go by the wayside, huh? 😉 Just know that it’s transitory and brief.

    This Very Merry Band of Thetans here on Marty’s blog have your back! You’ve spotted the Truth and I believe you are all much happier and saner for it.

    Love and ARC,
    – An Independent Scientologist flicking my Bic to light the torch to DM’s House of Spiritual Horrors – Happy Halloween!

  73. Your humble servant

    Thank you for this wonderful, thorough write-up. I’m sure it will prove helpful to many people. And yes, you will get your son back one day. LRH cancelled disconnection many years ago. As originally implemented, it was almost certainly a huge mistake in the first place. And, it was never implemented then as it is implemented now. In those days, it was simply done on an individual, case-by-case basis when “necessary.” That David Miscavige reinstituted it as a broad, shotgun policy, lying to say that the LRH issue was a forgery, again validates that he is a psychotic, suppressive, dramatizer of evil acts.

    Sorry, I didn’t care to read your “Declare.” I have seen such things before, and I know whatever it says is just a self-serving package of lies and slander. There is no need to parse it and to laugh at its ridiculous content. When you think about it, an “ethics” order written by the “ethics” department should, of all things, be “ethical.” That means, it should never state lies, it should never put things in a false slant, it should only say what is truly necessary, and it should validate the good and well as state the bad.
    Why is it that an “ethics order” never refers to a person’s many years of commendable service?

    This business of culling people’s folders to look for discreditable things to publish has really got to stop. It is simply a major betrayal of people’s confidences. Is this not an actionable tort, in civil law, to do that? Invasion of privacy? Intentional infliction of emotional distress? Intentional breach of a contract? What would people think of a Catholic priest who published people’s sins revealed in a confessional just to prove that they were really bad? I have never heard of it being done ever. This topic deserves some further research, but I suspect the church is exposing itself to great civil liability by doing that, as well as engendering enormous ill-will. The knowledge that the church does this is now spreading like wildfire. It is a major, major betrayal of trust.

    Soon, everyone in the country will know that the so-called “church” of Scientology is a place where your most intimate confessions and secrets are wrung from you, and, if you ever leave they will be published to villify you. If they think it is hard to get new members now, just wait until that becomes common knowledge!

  74. People need to wake up and not disconnect just because a “church” tells you that you need to. Family is more important than religion, and a real religion brings family together and doesn’t rip it apart. Only a cult needs to exercise this type of control over people.

  75. Meshell, Jim, Heather and Edie….
    OOOOOOOOOOH! Just the biggest hug, squeeze and welcoming smoochy kiss!
    So happy to have you ‘back’ 😀

  76. Pity – they seem like nice people.

    Regarding their “declare” – no surprise that it was filled with lies and distortions, and written in that peculiar smug ethics jargon.

    These “declares” and “non-enturb orders” are virtually all the same, unchanged really for all my decades in Scientology. What 99.99% of them LACK of course, is any trace of rationality and due consideration for truth. And yet – isn’t “ethics” supposed to be ALL about rationality?

    The reason for the fast, steady shrink of orgs? Steadfast and continuing refusal to apply the tech and admin of Scientology…punishing upstats…rewarding downstats.

    Surprise-surprise! Do that for a few consecutive decades, and you get shrunken, hollowed-out orgs, shunned by the public, staffed by ignorant youths with little understanding of Scientological principles. This family in St. Louis tried to quit openly – and were of course SAVAGED for it.

    These folks are far outnumbered by those who have simply walked away. Those who just quit, quit showing up for events, changed their phone numbers or even ADDRESSES to foil the dreaded “calls from the org”.

    No org I have ever known has used the CF system per policy – it has always instead used the PHONE in a totally off-policy manner. Then? Along came (firstly) the phone answering machines, and then voice mail. The answer to this was for staff to get in cars and physically DRIVE to the homes of people they wanted to reg, regardless of the hour of the night, pounding on the doors and windows, yelling your name.

    Should you protest this bizarre treatment? Then, you were an “SP”, an enemy, “CI”.

    I’m one of the ones who simply dropped out, and cut off all contact with official Scientology orgs. I am NEVER going back, who would? There is no org on earth today that is in a higher condition than Liability to its public – and I am being generous with that assessment.

  77. Meshell

    You’ve shown by your actions that you have integrity, and that you value it over what is expedient, convenient or easy. You certainly DO know the rules. What’s more, you are already a wonderful example for those who will surely follow you out of the “church” of how it’s done with great grace.

    The beauty of life without suppression is that there are no penalties for being oneself and being happy. Life can be simple and good again.


  78. … and soon there will be “Negotiable Poo Head.”

  79. I would like to point out that the Little family are, with no doubt, SP’s – survival persons that is 🙂
    ( a term created by our staff and students )

  80. Meshell Little

    LOL, Karen you are so smart! They couldn’t pay ME enough to come off it. OMG, I was just reminded of one of these complete OFF POLICY negotiations offered to a staff member who routed off and had a freeloader debt. She was told the this HUGE debt would be forgiven if she bought all her basic courses and books. What a deal!

    Over to you!

  81. Meshell — Sorry, I responded to Jim on FB now and gave him my email address.

  82. Meshell Little


  83. Meshell Little

    Very true, Volkov. I’m quite interested in them over at Midwest Tech Center, but I guess I’m still decompressing here.

  84. Tony DePhillips


    Glad you posted this over here too!! We need maximum exposure.

  85. Hello Meshell, Edie, Jim, and Heather! Welcome!

    Wow! What a heck of a write-up. You brought up so many great points.

    I have too many comments to leave here, but I would like to get in touch with you personally. My email is

    Also, I’d like to get in touch with Heather. Maybe we can be friends even though we live in different states. 🙂

    Gratefully, any friends that are lost are quickly replaced with really good friends, but it’s still a bleeping difficult time for a while, especially with the situation with Jeremy. (My lioness claws came out on that one, rrrrh!)

    We stand by you all. At least Jeremy had the sense to know disconnection was wrong; hopefully his “last straw” is not too far off and you’ll be reunited soon.


  86. Bawahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

    Thanks Val babe I needed some levity 🙂

  87. Hey can anyone here get my SP declare. I only got a golden hand written note. It would be neat to see the real thing.

    Pretty please. Marty has my email addy and he can get m name and someone get it. Pretty please I want to see my declare.


  88. Edie,
    I’m going on month ten with CC Int, and still no repayment. It took seven months for them to give me an “approval” (from CVB) — but only 2/3 of what I had on account was approved. But here it is three months after the supposed “approval” and still not a penny from them. I’ve sent a complaint letter to the Charity Commission of California’s Attorney General’s Office. We’ll see if that goes anywhere. But I suspect that my only option at this point is to hire an attorney and sue.

  89. First off-congratulations at getting out and getting free!
    I just find it so sad that people fall into this trap where their own intelligence and free will is stripped of them, so that the wool is pulled over their eyes.

    What is really sad is that, despite all of the auditing, training, etc. that is supposed to make people smarter, they continue to be fooled.

    Frankly, I smelled a rat as soon as my Scn friends started telling me BS lines like, “LRH only ever spoke truth”, or “The CoS produces more CDs than all other publishing houses combined”, or that “LRH researched all of the tech by himself, yet was able to be a prolific writer and speaker.” There is only so much one can swallow; and only good, decent, (and sadly gullible) people fall for it.

  90. Meshell, Jim, Heather and Edie VERY WELL DONE to have the COURAGE to walk away.
    My best wishes for Jeremy to join all of you very soon. Awesome write up!!!!

  91. Thanks Jim. I’ll check out the links.

  92. Oh, no doubt. I’m not with them, and I’m not pushing you. They occurred to me only because I thought they may be an active community geographically nearest to where you are.

    Decompress away,for sure!

  93. Nice to meet y’all.
    I’m really sorry to hear the dirty rotten low down crap they resorted to.
    Hugs to you all and I hope your son will come around…he will and he’ll feel horrible for not being wiser. Keep the pressure on him so that your love and family pressure is greater than theirs. You have a right to communicate.

  94. WOW!!!… This is awesome. Thank you for standing up loudly and saying NO MORE….Love it

  95. Welcome to the new majority. I left the church of Miscavige a year ago. My wife and son also left. Since that time I have found out that dozens of my friends and associates have all left the church of Miscavige and all of them are doing better than they have ever done before. Your family will do well now without the suppression from the C of $. Very Well Done to all of your family. Continue to flourish and prosper.

  96. To the Little family,
    I understand what you went through and there is nothing worse than someone messing with your family, especially your kid! They are so arrogant and blind that its incomprehensible. Every point you made was spot on. How sad that the point you wrote are true. It does take integrity and confront to walk away from that which you have dedicated your life to helping, and withdrawing support is a process in itself. I never would have believed that I would be disgusted by the church and not want to promote it, but here I am saying exactly that.
    Your name does absolutely defy you 🙂 You folks will get through this leaving process and will flourish because you have your integrity in place. You know the tech works, and now you can freely use it -without stops -outside of the Draconian walls!

  97. Welcome out! #15 in particular is a very good point.

  98. Marty, any chance you could make the OP font larger? My old eyes are having trouble reading it because of the tiny font.

  99. Just to add some numbers. Out of memory.
    In 1981/82 munich org had way above 100 fulltime staff and 2000 regular attending (not div 6 course) publics. Week for week almost 1000 auditing hours and it had been planned to open a 2nd HGC. Then from 82 to 84 more than half of the 2000 blew. Some silent and much openly. Stating they do not support any longer that new management. Between 85 to 88 I have no infos. Then from 88 on (some rekindeling of purpose due to OT8 maybe) stats started to rise. But with lots of public and staff from ex east germany. Then since 91 stats fell again.
    The crash of 83 I would assign danger and the after 90 crash had been a bit slower but also danger.
    And consider also that some did deliver false stats. Like Hamburg Org.
    If we have had 82 to 84 the Internet then you would see same things on the internet as you see now on the net.

  100. Meshell:

    It is good that you came forward yourself here and commented.

    Years ago I remember when I left Scientology I would think to myself “Well, eventually I get ahold of the money and pay for the rest of my bridge, it is inevitable”.

    Yet, yours and your family’s stories are consistent with the thing a lot of other people leaving the church are saying. And yes, you are right, some of the wealthiest people on the planet are true SP’s, take Bill Gates for example, owner of Microsoft. I guess he looks happy to some.

    Now I no longer worry about getting back and paying for the rest. I am happy out here.

  101. I agree very much to the expressed statement made by Glouten
    and I will add.DM is a destroyer beyond expression, Sorry if eitehr Marthy / or Mark don’t agree to the harsh expression expressed.on this blog.

  102. Meshell,
    That analogy is spot on. The E.D. St. Louis was a personal Friend of mine for years… and I am 100% sure he and I would not even recognize one another now… so much has changed. KSW1 is right where you need to be! Tell your story. Tell the truth. Be true to yourself, and you’ll be doing yourself and countless others a world of good.

    I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, but I’m grateful for your honesty.

  103. Almost there, Mike:

    “GoldenRod Age of Scientology”

    Has I nice ring to it. Makes me all the more mad I never got MY comm ev or got my declare on goldenrod to frame up and hang on the wall for all to see! It’s going to become a fashion statement! Mark my word! Women will be walking the runway in Paris this spring with miniture “declares” as earrings and goldenrod colored clothing and accessories! Trend Setters are we!

  104. Grasshopper that is one of the things I could not understand with the implementation of avortion in the Sea Org. DM created his own form of population control within the CoS. By limiting the natural ability of church members to procreate he essentially curtailed the simplest form of growth…having families.
    The Catholic doctrine of the middle ages of no form of birth control whatsoever allowed the RC Church to grow extensively through no real effort than having large families. It is natural for children to take on the faith of their parents.
    Now I’m not advocating that the Indies go out there and start procreating madly ( although I am sure some of you would find the effort rewarding in itself ,LOL) but Dimwit made it so growth had to come from outside public.
    P.S. To the Little Family welcome to world outside of the snowglobe!
    First there was 1 SP, then 2 SPs, that became 4 SPs, then 8, and so on and so on….

  105. Valkov,
    There’s likely a magnifier for the screen with your computer. I use Windows and it’s got one in the bottom right hand corner. It will allow you to increase the font by percentages or some such. It’s a ‘zoom’ feature.

  106. Yes!! Yeah!! Thank you DM, we take them!! We want them…
    we love some more great people as part of our group!!
    Welcome! WELCOME!!

    Silvia Kusada

  107. Karen, I’ll just add:

    Threatened SP
    Imaginary SP

    Would someone even venture to make a scale? (ha)

  108. Meshell,
    You’ve mentioned you are somewhat confused in the present circumstances. You know the Confusion Formula. This helps one find where they are. If you notice in the Factors, #5, it says: “the purpose of a dimension point is space and a point of view.” How does this relate to the formula?

    One puts out points to view and this defines ‘where’ they are. Space is defined by a viewpoint extending points to view. If one is looking at the points in a facsimile, then they are ‘there’. With the loss of dimension points/anchor points, one can feel ‘lost’.

    Do a locational, extend your attention (which are simply dimension points as well) out to spot the dimension points in the present space you are creating by being a viewpoint of that dimension. Follow the steps of the formula and you’ll distinguish ‘where’ you were (the other viewpoint and those dimension points) from ‘where’ you are (the present viewpoint of dimension). Present Time is ‘being there’ in the ‘now’. All that is is being in the space you are now creating by assuming the present viewpoint that is viewing that present dimension. (Ref: 1st ACC tape 49, The Logics -Their Relation to Aberration and Space, 3 Nov 53).

  109. Meshell,
    On the ‘enforced disconnection’. What the little man David Miscavige is attempting to do with his squirrel bulletin/policy (see my article on Scn Cult – 3D Engram) on disconnection is intentionally sever ARC lines. These disconnections are nothing more than created ARC Breaks.

    He’s trying to invalidate which is in essence knock out your space. Your son’s body is a bunch of dimension points that he’s occupying. From your viewpoint you have a terminal to extend the component parts of theta (affinity, reality, comm) to. This gives you space. Your son does the same from his viewpoint and extends/communicates the energy of affinity to you and by both of you exchanging these you establish the reality of your love for each other. You create a mutual space. Affinity also includes the ability, at the highest level of A, to ‘be’ the other person. You can view dimension from their viewpoint.

    The fallacy DM thinks he’s capable of is he can define your space/viewpoint of dimension, and cut your ability to have ARC. He can’t. Your son is still extending out to view, your physical presence (you’re his Mom) and that is a fact DM can’t regulate or control.

    One can ‘disconnect’ ONLY by one’s own self-determinism. DM’s bullshit enforced disconnection simply puts a resistance there which for the most part acts to INCREASE the energy flow between terminals.

    In present time, extend out your space and include your son and flow him affinity. The reality of your love will occur to him and by your comm you’ll dissolve any ridge.

    Sorry Dave, you ain’t capable of changing the Factors or Axioms. Putz.

  110. joe, my email was sabatogged and i lost everything. write me at beebopaloopa at the same provider.

  111. David from England

    I was very impressed with the way you took the Declare apart and forensically rebutted it, leaving in no doubt which party was dealing in generalities, and which party was speaking the truth. You sound like a lovely (and lively) bunch of people, and I hope you get your son back soon.

  112. “Back in the days LRH was around, if an SO member got pregnant they would be sent out to work at a Class V org until their children turned six. ”

    Actually, not true. This policy wasn’t around “in the days LRH was around”.
    It is an illegal policy that violates LRH FO’s.

  113. Meshell Little

    Hi Girl!

    We love you here in St. Louis!! Your write up was so well received in our family.

    I am at work right now and have little time to do much else, but I did give Heather your email and she is going to email you her phone number. She is at the age where she likes to text! 😉

    Heather is 16 years old, very mature, very responsible and has graduated High School. Having been mostly home-schooled and in the church most her life, she has lost all her friends. The ones “outside” don’t generally have her same ethics level or reality. She does have one best friend who was on the outside, thank god! She welcomes ALL comm lines from independents who are her age or otherwise.

    My email, for anyone who wants it, is

    I would so much like to help establish new contacts for Heather and I’m so glad you offered. Any state is awesome. We have dreams of moving back to Oregon in the near future!! Dreams, we all have dreams!

    I will email you personally when I get home today.

  114. George .
    I may or may not know you but its nice to hear some story about Munich Org EU. And yes I can confirm your statement about Munich Org. Myself working in there along side and Ronny De Arman \We ran Tours Org I was Cheif Tours Europe then along side some very loyal Tours registrars ( which stuck together and supported each other < Our base was Denmark otherwise.
    Jen's who was Commanding Officer For Munich Org at that time . then came S. Steiner.Jen's Bovard had been married to a very fine Upstat lady known as Simone, then he fell for a fiasty Women known as Felina a Tough old Registrar. Munich Org was Top on the leader board in those days at least in Europe. Striving and Growing at a very Fast Space. You may recall some of those days Yes ! Plus Guillaume Leserve just entered into Denmark Copenhagen and worked in the Flag Liason Officer known then as Folo EU ! and got his position as Commanding Officer Folo Europe, before then heading to the US to take up ED INT.

    Europe Class Iv Orgs and franchises were all striving and so were and what a mistake for DM and his Hentch men , because when the take over took place after LRH 's death and the wipe out of Franchises took place , Lucky for some heard through the grape vine indicated what was happening and took cover. Others not so Lucky ! and those that could not escape it was disaster beyong magnitude. I wonder where they are . Incredibale people they were. Neitehr AOSHDK Or Flag for that matter could have done without them, I was on most Flag World Tours to help them for Flag , and around Europe , but when the Missions got attached
    it was the end of the condition of Power .He DM destroyed it .

  115. And Meshell, another important point. Your mention of inflationary pricing. You may find this incredible you may not, but I will state it.

    When I was first C/S’d for my Life Repair in New York it was $1,200.00.
    $1,200.00 for 75 HOURS of Life Repair. {6 intensives}.

    3 Years later at the same org I was ordered to a Security Check priced at $2,800.00 PER intensive.

    That is quite a bit of inflation if you ask me.

  116. That is a 1,400% price increase or 14x the orginal rate 3 years before.

  117. Meshell Little

    You all are absolutley awesome. I read every single comment and when I get off work, I will respond to all of them!

    Joanna Cook reminded me of a point that has been on my mind.

    I’ve been hoping that my Heather (a very mature 16 year old) could start establishing some new comm lines among independents who are her age.

    She welcomes comm from all, obviously, but anyone in her age group would really help with her transitioning, as she has literally lost every single “real” friend she had (except one she had on the outside).

    She is finding she has quite a bit different ethics and morals level than a lot of people her age. I don’t know if any others are out there in a similar boat – but if so please let her know.

    I know Heather needs it. She may as well have been a Sea Org member as she was raised in scn (her dad and I were on staff) and mostly home schooled or schooled within an APS school atmosphere. She has now graduated high school (home schooled with Applied Scholastics Online Academy), and is trying to orient herself to the outside mentality, so to speak.

    She has a cell phone and likes to text, emails are welcome too:

    She was also hoping to get in touch with Daniel Montsalvo – she though she might “know him” from when she was on staff at the org.

    She is an awesome being, a good girl, very theta and responsible. We are very proud of her and her ability to think!

  118. Meshell, Jim, Heather, Edie

    Now we know why the so-called Church no longer publishes SP declares, when you get to read them they show how truly ludicrous things have become and how condemned they are by their own words. And all to protect Hitler’s mini-me.

    Great appreciation and applause to all of you for taking such a stand and voicing what many must see but lack the courage to recognize or speak out.

  119. Jim is right, get Pre-Paid Legal and have that attorney write your letter. Jim can help you word it so that an attorney will understand the set-up. Just TR 3 isn’t it? More and more comm.

  120. Meshell, Edie, Jim and Heather. Thanks so much for sharing your story. My husband and I agree with EVERY point you brought up. Thanks for taking the time to put words to these outnesses, and sharing that ridiculous “declare.” Humble Servant is absolutely right…the news of Miscavage’s regime using data from old ethics files and folders to try to silence critics IS spreading. That one action is such a game-changer as far as dissemination is concerned. Not to mention curbing the enthusiasm of long term Scientologists from wanting more auditing. Good luck expanding (or even sustaining) a “church” which uses such tactics.
    I loved your point #9 about the young kids wielding lightening bolts over the public. That was actually the tipping point for us. We were written up and attempted to be “handled” by three Hitler …er..I mean Miscavige Youth (thanks Scott Campbell for that great term) for the heinous crime of not wanting to come in for yet another IAS regfest. These kids (none over the age of 25) were threatening our future in the church if we didn’t step in line and sit there for regging like good little sheep. The fact that we would protest dropping everything and coming in as soon as we were called is apparently a new high crime. Forget that we were already big IAS donors and supporters of our local Idle Org (yeah, I know… hey, some of us are slower at waking up).
    Anyway, well done on your great decisions and for sharing. I’m CERTAIN Jeremy will come back to the family. He just needs to make up his mind for himself. I have no doubt that he will see the outnesses too. You guys are speaking the truth and truth will always win in the end.
    –Magnolia, Borderline SP (working on my upgrade so I can join you guys openly)

  121. Oh Marty and all, how wonderful you all are here. It is really something to not get a KR on what I wrote. You brought tears to my eyes when you thanked me for my words here. This is truly ARC as LRH intended. Not looking for wrongnesses.

  122. Hi Meshell, Jim, Edie, Heather.

    It just goes to show that great things can come from the state of Missouri–if only you can get through Missouri’s friggin’ Qual: SHOW ME!

    This whole nonsense just leaves me a little ticked, a little frustrated, a little neck sore from shaking my head back and forth. The idea that because family members are thetans, the bonds are diminished is just pure foolishness.

    It’s like using the datum, the greatest good, to excuse unethical behavior that destroys your personal integrity. What is good about losing your integrity? What kind of world would we have when none of us has integrity?

    And what kind of world would we have when none of our relationships matter because “they are just thetans.” Those bonds reflect who we are as a thetan. Those bonds are such an intimate part of who and what we are that you can’t break them without bringing harm.

    To make such a claim that “she is not your real mother because you are a thetan not a body” just shrieks of inability to evaluate importances. Certainly, we are not bodies, but we establish friendships, we establish important connections to other beings. We take responsibility for one another and care for one another.

    What would life be like if we were all disposable friends? If we were merely friends of convenience, destined for the dump when something better comes along?

    That type of reasoning familial relations is so low-toned that it can only come from a person who no longer sees the importance of other beings. Other beings are not important merely because we consider them important–that is mathematical reasoning applied to significance, the logic of sums and subtractions, where an abstract substitutes for reality. Such individuals could never save the planet because other beings have lost importance. Only the idea of people is important. Only the “mathematics of people” has become important.

    Others are important because the ARE important. It has nothing to do with considerations and opinions.

    These guys using the Greatest-Good datum and the thetans-are-important-relations-with-bodies-aren’t reasoning really need to get out of confusion if they want to help others. They’re confusing ideas about people and thetans with actual people and thetans.?”


    ps. Go Chiefs! (Hey, it’s been a bad couple of years.)

  123. Hi;

    I wish I had thought of this earlier; going door to door dressed up as a Scino with an IAS card on my candy bag, and that’d scare the crap out of everybody! I’ll do it next year.

  124. Tony DePhillips

    Your SP Declare said:

    “It was recently found that Jim and Meshell had been using ex-Scientologists and Suppressive Persons as their sources for a study of their religion. ”

    This is one of the most idiotic statements I have ever heard! Even if these people were “SPs” they actually were and are a part of the history of the church of Scientology. An honest person could not DO A STUDY of the church WITHOUT TALKING to these people. There is this thing that the church of mismanage promotes which is the idea that they are never wrong and that they are infallible. Well…so sorry Charlie… I don’t buy it.

  125. Class action lawsuit.

    I wonder if a class-action lawsuit is possible for defamation of character, libel, slander, alienation of affection. All of these disconnections and declares are based on lies. You can’t lie about someone, spoken or written, in such a way that it causes them harm. The loss of status, income, job, family member’s income all become actionable when resulting from another’s libel or slander.

    And the depth of pockets often determines the size of settlement.

    Surely, there are enough plaintiffs to carry forward with a class-action suit.

    Bring all this before a jury of our peers and you’ll see a horrified jury willing to impose severe damage and punitive awards. How much value can you put on the love of a child? What would you pay to save your child? To save your mother or father? And the church has taken away the love of hundreds or thousands family members. The jury would want this practice stopped. Immediately. We’re talking tens of millions to hundreds of millions. DM would not be able to hide from this.

    Facebook records could be used as evidence.

    DM, of course, in response to subpoenaed records, would destroy all the ethics files. Or “lose” them. Or hide them. Maybe a large raid would be in order. Wouldn’t that get media attention?

  126. Go to View on the Toolbar and click on zoom a couple of times.

  127. You can summarize the current C of S in ONE WORD!


  128. I thought this was missing something. Yes the International language of mankind: Music

    “The best way to know any future is to cause one. And that’s why, you see, when you start consulting the oracle at Delphi, you’ve taken a step downhill. You have assigned cause for the future elsewhere…
    So one predicts the future as much as one is cause. The future isn’t a pattern laid out to abuse and bully you. The future is a beautiful playground that nobody happen to be combining.
    You talk about virgin territory – the most virgin territory there is, is the future. You can do anything you want with it.”

    -L. Ron Hubbard

  129. Tony DePhillips

    This cat has a similar reaction to the horror of this injustice.

  130. Meshell Little

    What was the policy then? Do tell more please.

  131. Michael, good points you made. Our families are an integral part of the process by which we live and grow. Our bodily needs and desires are also there as a means to grow, overcome,etc. Knowing there is a difference between you as a spiritual being(thetan) and your body, does not make you OT. Its just a first step. Being able to handle and balance the challenges of your body,family, group,etc, makes you OT.
    Dismissing family because your a “thetan” is just a sorry excuse to make the end justify the means and someone getting their stats up. Its sick. It also will leave you less able in the long run. Ones value to others and to ones own growth is not increased by living in a cave meditating or floating around. The church cares about families as much as they care about human rights. Its all PR positioning and is backed by nothing real.

  132. Edie, Jim, Meshell, Heather,
    Nicely said, nicely done.
    Being from St. Louis, it’s irresistible for me to not chime in. We didn’t cross paths while I was there (71 to mid-76). In the 70s, St. Louis was a big, booming, fun, productive org. (If you haven’t – look at the Friends of LRH site). We even got a telex from LRH saying we were the world’s star Class org. We had 5 FEBCs that were trained aboard the Apollo in 1971. They returned and man, did the place take off. And the beauty of it was that ‘management’ didn’t know exactly how we were doing it. They had to send an observation mission to see what it was we were doing that created such a remarkable scene. Compare that to the BS, squirrel micromanagement that occurs today. But I wrote and posted my declaration last April, so if you want, we could compare notes. No point in regurgitating it again.
    Suffice it to say, our field just got a lot stronger with your family taking a stand and making a decision that redirects your theta power to people that want to embrace pure Scientology.
    Bless your family. There will be a straw that will penetrate Jeremy’s think, and it will all work out.
    Let me know if any of you need anything. You have my email address.
    Love, Linda McCarthy

  133. Onece Upon a Time
    I wouldn’t put it past Dm to use anything to hide his crimes , He is eveil Insane and NUTS and is worse than eveil there is no words to describe what character he is because , He does not care who he hurts what he does , only that he survives ‘s and will take down any one thats steps in his way.I say what LRH said about some one I witenssed in his presence and that is “May he die in Hell” . Any one might think I am Nuts , or evil but I express my evil because of what DM has done to the church and destroyed the church and all those who stood by LRH .One of them was me, and I remain loyal to LRH tech aswell / NOT DM.

  134. DM the SP NOT THE TECH but those within cannot be any thing other than PTS to him/ unless they disconnect .God help them and if they are Sane enough to get out escape Please do , Or get help to get out . Obviously the recent familythat came out had each other, to support to get out and their story is heart warming and Brave . Thank you for sharing.

  135. Congrats to all of you for finding you way out of the trap.

  136. Meshell,

    What Jim says here is so simple and it worked for me:

    “In present time, extend out your space and include your son and flow him affinity. The reality of your love will occur to him and by your comm you’ll dissolve any ridge.”

    I had a situation in which I had lost contact with my daughter which resulted in quite an ARCX for us both. Not knowing how to reach each other, I did exactly as Jim suggested and we were able to re-established that comm line about nine months later!

    Trust yourself and the theta universe!

  137. You had kids and you stayed at the SO org you were staff at. The S.O. provided childcare, food, school, etc.

  138. Edie and Margaret (and anyone else who would like it)
    I got my repayment from Flag a few weeks ago after having been given the run around for months. Finally I gave the ‘Flag Justice Chief’ 24 hours to mail my repayment check ‘or else’.
    Get a lawyer and let the org know you’re going legal. Until then you won’t be taken seriously. Within hours of informing Flag of my intention to go legal I had a FEDEX tracking number for the envelope which had been sent with the check.
    It is a sad fact that threats are the only language understood if you want to get your money back.

  139. When you get to “imaginary SPs” you talking about Type III which is what the Organization seems to be manifesting.

    Consider the fact that they have probably declared more people than whoever currently exists on lines and you’ll probably come up with a percentage of “SPs” exceeding 100%.

  140. Thanks, Edie – “Olden age of Tech” – I love it!

    Imagine getting crammed for being real. Auditing and word clearing are not rote activities, unless you are doing very specific actions – and even then! Whatever happened to styles of auditing?

    One of my parents once spoke of an errant, over zealous B of a senior who was in the LRH Comm network way be when: “She’d eat her young!” That is about as bad a thing as you can say about anyone. Isn’t that what the Church is doing now?

    Good for Meshell for taking care of business! And good for all of you.

    This is like coming home, isn’t it?

  141. Well, abortion is such an incredibly suppressive way to deal with the problem of SO having children. SO kids doing drugs are very out-PR, you know, so, what the hell, let’s nip the problem in the bud!

    Institutional abortion is a perfect non-survival, destructive solution. Is there any other action that Mr. David Miscavige has done that does more to prove his intention to ultimately destroy the subject and the Church?

  142. Thanks guys, I found a zoom function I can use. I am such a computer retard! Never took “Intro to your Computer 101”. As a result, I don’t know 95% of what I can do with it. Back in the day, I barely learned how to program a VCR, either. Then they became obsolete anyway!

    I want a StarTrek computer- vocally tell it what Iwant, it does it. That’s about my speed!

  143. Really, not a bad idea! Each time someone leaves, we send DM a “Thank-you” note for driving them away. We should start now, we have a lot of catching up to do, sending notes for the people that have left just in the past year or two.

  144. Hi hadley,
    you do not know me. I had been a little light and still be. I had been on the backlines. You know, like the helpers without the heroes never could be a hero. In the movies they are not needed, but in real life they are. In case someone out there in the dark and thinking of himself he is not very important I can tell you, you are. And all those you knew and you cannot see right now are still there.
    We are gaining strenght right now and our lines are powering up more and more. DM and his followers did cut our main commline. But to put it into computer slang: we are back online.

  145. Just a Reader

    This is hysterical. ROFLMAO – thanks 🙂

  146. Just a Reader

    I am sorry you folks are having to go through this. Bravo for speaking out.

  147. I think we can safely say that the Church of Scientology is FAIR GAME!

    Jim Little

  148. Yes, DM and his henchmen who abuse and bully people around all for the sake of what?


    I just don’t get it why people in the fold CONTINUE to close their eyes to the abuse and keep supporting this CULT.

    I just don’t get it

  149. Welcome Jim, Meshell, Heather and Edie –
    I salute you all for having the guts to ask questions, research, investigate, find the truth and stand up for what you know is right. Thank you for sharing the details of your story. Here is to a very bright, free and happy future as Independent Scientologists!

  150. hadley, Justly put IMHO, but I think COB is already in his own hell. I would just like to see it as a deliverable address.

  151. Terrific write up. And welcome to the independent field. It took me a bit to decompress after leaving and I suspect it will y’all too. There are many great people out here living and delivering STD Tech. I find the people in the independent filed are like the Scientologist’s I knew in the 70’s. Very uptone and willing to help. And no IAS reges attempting to bleed you of funds and guilt you if you don’t give ever more.

    Independents are happy to see you and want to help.

    A very refreshing environment. Glad to have y’all in it.

  152. The FO ordering Sea Org members out to Class V orgs if they fell pregnant was issued by ED Int around the end of 1989. The FO stated something along the lines that children were not part of the current purpose line of the Sea Organization or some such garbage.

  153. Freedom Fighter

    Wow! Excellent write-up! One of the best I’ve read. Welcome!

  154. POWER

    Very biblical and Cast-Iron truths



    The Malicious, Vindictive and Utterly destroy mentality have savagely attacked long term veterans who served DECADES and put their lifetime into contributing to the Church. Their FREAKDOM magazine is bizarre, freakish and weird~~ disavowing Marty, Mike, Jeff Hawkins, Steve Hall, Amy Scobee and so on.

    Worse than that !

    DM’s CULT calls in to Law Enforcement manufactured heinous LIES LIES LIES re Marty and his brother. Mine to my CPA re smuggling underage children, Mike Rinder re a property /Real estate manufactured lie and on and on and on.
    No one can be as vicious, malicious and destructive as DM and his merry gang.



    Tory/Magoo after 30years in, had her home telephone number published on a Porn Website as revenge…..

    This is the “Church” of Scientology. The underhanded DIRTY TRICKS defy belief.

    Did the Church really claim that the Guardian Office DIRTY TRICKS were over and done with ?

    Don’t be silly.
    Dirty Tricks are alive and well in DM’s CULT.

  156. What the Powers’ has shown is that tere is nothing more important than family. A family member is not “a thetan” who has made some “Incarnation of Convenience” meant to serve CoS. Out here we say, “Blood is thicker than mud.” That is it: Protect your family. Never betray a family member for any damn church. The right way to die is as follows:

    1. Old
    2. Have lived a good life.
    3. Surrounded by your family who loves you.

    Does being a Scientologist actually mean that you have to “Disconnect” from a family member because of what some Miscavige Youth says? Out here we would say, “F*ck that Sh*t!”


  157. You are right Karen. You know, back in 1982, when they started declaring the Mission Holders and old time staff, I coined my own term: “Organizational SPs” in that they were considered to be SPs as it applied to the organization only but not to real life. It has been going on forever. I could never take the term seriously after that. And now you have peoplel dramatizing SPs and being virtual SPs such as those in the hole. They are, however, mostly suppressive to themselves!

  158. It is very sad and true that the definition of SP by LRH has been twisted, invalidated and pretended to mean something else by the church in the process of attaining its corrupted goals.

  159. @Sam: Issued over ED Int’s name and title, but actually ordered written and issued by McSavage. Pretty slimey setting up Gilluame Leserve to take the heat from everyone in the S.O. for that, eh?

    Michael A. Hobson

  160. The Church of Scientology is FAIR GAME these days.

    Would you like to hear something I don’t tell very many people?

    When I was in Scientology I worked for the Guardian’s Office in New York. I kept hearing the name Paulette all the time there and girls saying hello to each other and addressing each other that worked there as Paulette. I assumed it meant there were a lot of GO girls by the name of Paulette there, that’s it, and I went about my job. That was around 1980.

    In 2002 I read Paulette Cooper’s {the New York City authoress nearly institutionalized from being Fair Gamed} story. 22 Years later it occurred to me for the first time ever WHY all those girls names were Paulette. I even met the body double the GO used to impersonate Paulette Cooper and didn’t know it until after I read her story. I suddenly realized for the first time WHO these GO people really were and WHAT they were really doing and WHY, in spite of their fantastice public relations story.

    A bit of nostalgia from archive of Lawrence.

  161. The body double resembled almost exactly inch for inch Paulette Cooper physically.



  163. The “Goldenrod Age Of Scientology” is something that has been prevalent in the church since I was first involved. It has only become more pronounced not more brought under control as the years have gone by. But it has always there, under the surface, waiting for the right fuel to come along and ignite the fire.

  164. I apologize to come back to many times to the same subject, but it is almost laughable. Staff in the church running around like madmen yelling “Declare em'” at what appears to be to them some out ethics or uncontrollable overt sequence.

    Somebody is new on staff and was late for muster? Declare em’!
    An auditor was short 1 piece of paper for a session to write on? Declare em’!

    And they sad thing is, they really do get declared!

  165. Amy is so proud of that book. I would be to. Since Amy was the young girl of Scientology many years ago that when I first saw her picture to see her face, it was such a trustworthy honest face to confront and feel at ease to communicate with, in or out of Scientology. I just felt like she was a friend somehow.

    I enjoy listening to Amy, because I know she speaks not from the experience of an insane person as the church tries to say, but from the experience of a veteran, top of the line, upper level Scientology management executive. Something very few Scientologists have the ability to excel as or the viewpoint from which to assume things.

  166. Jim Logan wrote, …”In present time, extend out your space and include your son and flow him affinity. The reality of your love will occur to him and by your comm you’ll dissolve any ridge.
    “Sorry Dave, you ain’t capable of changing the Factors or Axioms.”

    As always, Jim, you offer a post that is wise, on source, and demonstrably TRUE!!

    May I recommend, too, to the Littles…. when things calm down a bit, find a way to flow a little energy in your son’s direction – a small birthday gift – a little cash (he’ll need), a goodies box. Just affirm, “In this life, I’m still your Mom, and I will ALWAYS love you.”

    Good luck.


  167. This is truly frightening.

    I was imagining David Miscavige having “Halloween Day” at INT and calling all the staff into the lawn area to pick up their “Trick or Treat” goodies. And when a staff member walks up, they get a declare from DM with a smile on his face.

    It is like a movie from the horror genre.

  168. LRH predicted this one. Every new philosophy for freeing man has the tendency to get twisted into a clever trap, and Scientology certainly has this potential. So, the Church of Scientology is in the clever trap phase now. It is a cult, and people stay in cults because of the natural human need for belonging. This combines with the need to be right, which is proportional to the amount of time and money sunk in.

  169. I have a question about Blog posting. What is the defintion of this comment you put in your information: “Bawahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!”

    What does this word mean?

  170. They are still nice people. I can hardly feel pity for anyone that leaves the church and speaks out honestly and truthfully about what went on with them in there.

    I have already decided I will retire from my criticism of the Church of Scientology on the day I am offered conclusive evidence that DM has or already did throw a person through any plate glass window anywhere in Scientology. I am not encouraging anyone to do this to speed matters up mind you in any way.

    I am stating that in light of the experience, on the day this news surfaces the Church of Scientology will become history not history makers.

  171. Larry,

    You’re such a card 🙂

  172. Karen:

    I do not know Tory Christman that very well, only casually, and I make no boasts to fame I do not have. But I know this much about Tory Christman. She is a very, very, very self determined person right on the front lines of ANYTHING that will bring down and bring to light any of the church’s activities she is opposed to. This is a given. I believe I have her respect more than her comradery in the affair.

    The O/W’s of the Church of Scientology that you mention are too numerous for the church to get off properly in time to prevent their own destruction. They are occurring right now as I write this. I am sure you know.

    I never actually had true mass on what a Missed W/H + ARC Break was until I went to Flag in 1986. When I was there I “accidentally” “by chance” for lack of a better way to put it bumped in to THE FSC NY that was supposed to have regged me 8 years before so my arrival to Flag would have smooth, moral and ethical. Instead the woman without my even knowing yet I would encounter this person at Flag {so thoroughly omitted was the O/W done to me by her} she nearly jumped out of her chair and literally “started swinging”.

    ONLY a corrupt organization, led by a corrupt leader such as DM would be unaware of this kind of thing aborning until it actually did.

    I have tremendous respect for you and all your years as one of Flag’s top auditors and this woman may have very well have been one your PC’s or Pre-OT at one time but…as another Class XII auditor stated to me in a supportive manner when I was at Flag that year “there are some O/W’s some people CAN’T get off”.

  173. “He said he tried to get them to see that if he ever felt we were suppressing him, he would decide on his own to disconnect, per PTS/SP tech.”


    That appears to me (as a non-/never been Scientologist) to have been the original intent of PTS/SP tech… the ability to remove ourselves from the influence of toxic people in our lives. NOT our loving mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers… and certainly not because an organization told us to, and THREATENED our salvation with it!

    Congrats on getting out, you have a beautiful family! So many brilliant points made, and that SP Declare…

    From an outside perspective, it reads really ridiculous.. that a “Church” would even stoop to this… It sort of invalidates itself by even speaking, if that makes sense. As a commenter above basically said, there’s no need to parse or even defend it… Because it’s ridiculous slander right out of the gate. Nobody even needs to be familiar with your situation to see that.

    But you’ve made so many brilliant points that others will no doubt read, identify with, and see themselves in.

    $2500 back in the 70’s, I wonder how that would compare today? Like somewhere in the 12-15K range? Spread out over time that’s still way more affordable than the hundreds of thousands it costs today.

    Hundreds of thousands.. that they’re spending for instance on TV commercials, like the one I saw on Fox last night in between Simpsons re-runs… an ad claiming to have answers for families having problems… Yeah, sure, disconnect and break up the family, and they won’t give you any problems, LOL…

    Best wishes to you guys!

  174. It’s RJ laughing, Lawrence. With lots of gusto! 🙂

  175. Thanks to you grasshopper. This is like coming home and “What do I do now?” kind of thing.

    I told my daughter that I felt like I was on top of things with what I’ve had in Scn (Purif, TR’s & Obj, 0-4 Grades and the training I’ve had). I don’t like NED – oops, not supposed to say that! I must be at the end of the 14th list because I sure don’t want more. Hope this is okay to say here but hey, if it isn’t, then I’m sorry.

    One of the reasons I feel on top of life now is that 4 years ago I arranged for my mom to be moved from Oklahoma to live with me, because she was getting too old to care for herself ( is 88 now). I never did get along with her and never really liked her. It was very enturbulating for a long time. I did new Science of Survival book course and it was clear to see what was happening, every time I came home. What a trip, I felt like doing her in! I think that because of my auditing and training I got through it though with her intact and myself. Anyway, we are going on four years together now and the road is a lot easier.

    I think what really helped me the most was a book Meshell recently loaned me “Law of Attraction”….. by Esther Hicks. That put everything in a nutshell of what I had learned with LRH.

    When I was approached that I would have to disconnect from Meshell, Heather and Jim, I thought “NO” I can disconnect from here and be at home with my mom and have my life back again. Always felt guilty for wanting to stay at home. No more.

    We all have some stories. I have quite a few with me trying to stay on staff as the greatest good and let my family down. Some sad memories, oh, but I got locationals on losing my dad.

    I am free to make my own decisions as to what is the greatest good for MY DYNAMICS not the organizations.

  176. Yes Lawrence, I know the feeling.
    I had a couple weird thoughts happening the day we resigned. First was that I truly honestly hoped one of them would validate my intelligence and LOOK at what we looked at, not what they think is out there…..I say investigate. Drop the fear factor people.
    You can write to me at This is open to anyone who wishes to communicate to me.

  177. Bozz, I’m so curious. Were you peronal friends while he was on staff or earlier? I’ve been in the org as long as the ED, that is why I ask.

    Thank you for the kind words. I wish I would have opened my eyes so long ago. Reflecting, it’s amazing what I’ve lost. OK…..enough of that! I will put my attention on what I HAVE.

    I’m so happy to be making friends now. :-))

  178. Yes, Lawrence I know why this is though……. a lot of money is needed to fight off all the enemies they CREATE! I guess from the 70’s to the 90’s a boatload of enemies were made because the cost jumped 1000% (made that up!).

  179. Oh god!!! This is sinister!

  180. Well, in all my years in St. Louis I think my family is only the 3rd declare. We’re famous here!!! Course the other two declares got other ethics gradients. We didn’t.

  181. Fantastic! Good for you! Easy instructions too 😉

  182. Exactly! It was full of libel. In fact, because it was lies they couldn’t prove it. Sick. Saddens me.

    You know, the day they delivered it, the HAS and the COPE OFF was so nice and I let them know I didn’t consider them “my enemy”. Man, I stewed in this all night long until I realized that the lies were written ON PURPOSE by THEM. I woke up feeling much different.

  183. No doubt. They have NO humanity, really. Robotism.

  184. Samuel, thank you for caring enough to comment. Yeah, I guess the biggest reason I wrote comments on all those lies (and admitted to the pieces that were true) is because of my integrity. I am hoping my friends read it and I know that truth as-isses. I was truly amazed to see how little real truth was in it.

  185. Oh yes, this was an awesome video. LOL, yes, it felt good to delete them rather than feel hurt when they did.

    Can you spell – CONDITIONAL friends!!!

  186. LOL, yes and then the day after we received our notice of freedom (SP declare) we received an invitation to a costume party at a scn’st house. Seemed it was also a fundraiser. OMG, Jim said we would show up with anon masks on!!! I thought I would die laughing.

  187. Scott, I appreciate what you’re saying. Jim and I watched that video. Things that make you go…hmmm. It’s complete weird to see how many children are weilding the lightning bolts these days.

    I had one (course he was a bit older, MAA in LA) tell me that I was completely out-ethics using the child support money to help pay rent and groceries etc. I think, honestly, he thought it was a check that I should turn over to Heather each month!! He actually screamed this at me! Freaked me out. Let me tell you, things seem much harsher in the LA and Clearwater area than around STL. Here they pretend to like you.

  188. Yes we do, Lisa and thank you again for all the help you were to us when we had hard decisions to make. 🙂

  189. Helmut – I love that you’re never wrong.

    I truly hope the reach comes back for me. My case is a snarled mess (staff for 5 years – lord I could tell you the story!!).

    In fact, my case is such a snarled mess, I had finally decided I needed to go to the Freewinds for the OT Debug as my last and final straw to sort me out. Something happened to distract me from that though… 🙂

    Someday MAYBE I’ll reach again. I will tell you I have had life changing wins too though. TRs completely changed my life! Objectives, even though I didn’t have hours and hours of them. And believe me, FPRD handled some serious drama for me 😉

  190. Thank you. I know the confusion will go away soon….. my pendulem swings wide.

  191. Margaret:

    Don’t hold your breath waiting for it. Since when does the Church of Scientology keep its word to anyone?

    When I was at Flag I asked for my money back in person. But I ran into one smalle glitch per LRH policy. I asked for the refund 15 days beyond the end of the grace period to get one. I would have had to have hired an attorney to get it back, and I just did not want my life be filled with these insane cultists running around in it, so I told them to keep it, not in those words, but to that effect.

    The registrar there did not seem to upset about it, she made a comment to me that I didn’t have “enough” money to give her that she was looking for anyway. So you see, no matter what anybody says it was personal as well as professional the problems I had with the church.

    It means very little to them anything a Scientologist does that doesn’t increase INT managements bank accounts.

  192. Exactly. And I have come to learn that ALL cults do this and no real churches do. Think about that one.

  193. ooooooooooooooooooooh! Sam!!! Biggggg huggies to you too!!

    Back?? :-))

  194. You are spot on with that evaluation of the condition. You know, however, they are dictated to big time. And I mean big time. It’s like a circus act of “we were ordered to”.

    Yep, I was getting literally 15-20 calls a day for books sales and fundraising for idle orgs. I was upset and asked the org to stop calling me…..holy hell, the ED got on the phone and gentle told me I would be better to not ask to go on the no call list…….so I obeyed.

  195. Good thing you didn’t go then. You don’t know for sure what might be in the food they are serving, or the people that are there, where they’ve been or what kind of diseases they could have.

  196. You’re welcome. 🙂 We have done it so others can easier take the stand too and know they are doing the right thing!

    It will take a lot of us withdrawing support. Like a few a week! And the thins is, they are out there…..silent. Some for very good reason – the hitlertarians will take their children away!!

    But you others, come on stand up…..Marty’s song…..”I’m Not Afraid…To Take a Stand…Everybody, come take my hand!!”

  197. Is that what that means? OK. Because I usually respond {LOL} instead. But that is fine. I am not critical. I wasn’t sure if RJ was meaning to say the word BEWARE instead and just spelling it out like that. Thanks.

  198. Dean – No doubt!! I have honest to god done way way better since leaving. It is amazing. I guess I thought I might self destruct as I was taught folks do when they leave. Not here. We are flourishing! It’s going to bite real bad when we win that 68 million dollar lottery and don’t share any of it with them! Dang I’m evil sometime….. 😉

  199. <> Thank you Jewel. Yes, it was a lot to confront and it took a lot of soul searching. Lost my best friend from elementary school in the ordeal too. Christmas was will quiet and loney without all the guys…..but I bet I don’t let that get me down!

  200. He had to make the font so small because I haven’t had KTL and take 30 words to say something 5 could have….LOL. Wordy, I am. Guess I just need to ensure I convey exactly what I think.

    However, if you want to read it easier, we now have it on our information blog page.

  201. Jim says LOL, they are definetly serving koolaid

  202. Loudly? I guess I figure I will push him away more if I try to comm with him.

  203. OMG, you are so spot on! He is attempting to enforce…

  204. Thank you David. Yeah, I’m the wordy one!! That’s me. I just want people to know. Heck, we expected decency. How the heck could we have expected it if we were walking away because of corruption!!?? Duh! The declare was sickening. Sadly, our friends will believe it and be amazed that we fell into the SP soup.

  205. Magnolia, I can relate! Yeah, it took me way too long to wake up too! Please stay in touch with me.

  206. Yes, it’s just gross isn’t it?

  207. This video cracked me up! Thank you for the laugh.

  208. Hey Linda!
    Yes, STL was bursting at the seams. Course, then Steve B was declared?? Did he get declared or just walk?
    By the way, do you have any idea how that email hit my email box 2 years ago directing me to read your KR?

  209. Wow! Thanks for the compliment! My hope is that it helps someone.

  210. Blackdove, I appreciate your comments from an outsider viewpoint.

    You know, you may have noticed that I’m divorced. My daughter’s dad and I moved to STL to be on staff when Jeremy was 8 months old. My mom was Jeremy’s nanny so we both could save the planet. We spent 5 years on staff then completed our contracts and became public. Do you know I spent the next 10 years trying to get MY own marriage fixed? Do you know I was borderline “out” for a long time because it truly seemed that Scn could fix everybody else, but it sure couldn’t fix my marriage. Lots of details left out, but I will tell you – we paid for auditing, marriage counceling, Ethics Specialist course, on and on and on…… in the end, divorced.

  211. Meshell:

    Noone can afford these things. If some kid ever told his father he wanted to get some auditing and the father understood and asked “How much is it?” and got for a response “It’s only $187,000.00!” It is for certain that kid WOULD NOT be getting checked out by an auditor, more by like a Psychologist.


  212. An SP Declare is an SP Declare.

    In the courts of America these documents mean nothing.

  213. Meshell, I had this in progress last night and stormy weather whacked my internet…luckily I copied it! 🙂
    Meshell~I haven’t been in your exact position, but I can look at this from the viewpoint of Parental Alienation Syndrome, something that happened to me as a child and something my husband’s ex ran on their son. PAS occurs when one parent is doing and saying everything possible to alienate the other parent. This is what the CofM is doing to y’all.
    One of the important things to do is persist in trying to communicate in every possible way you can, despite real or pretended threats and always within the law. Even if he insists that you stop…don’t. CofM can make it very hard to do, just like a vicious ex-spouse can. Y’all are his parents and you love him. No matter what he says, continue to communicate with love to him.Invite him to lunch just to spend time together and because you miss him…anything to show that y’all are consistently and constantly thinking about him. Persist through his HE&R (realizing someone is trying to alienate him from you the whole time, obviously). There is no set in stone tech to it except NOT to bad mouth the other parent in the case of PAS. You can see it would create more of a ridge, so maybe don’t try to show him the truth about CofM either. Your continued ARC/love will seep into the cracks and at some point, he will come off the SerFac and see the rightnesses and wrongnesses himself.
    It worked with my stepson. Hugs and good luck to you all.

  214. Tara, thank you so much!! Your advise makes complete sense!

    I would love it if you’d email me. 🙂

  215. Meshell~I emailed you from gmail Wed @ 11:46p Central… That would be from Tara MB’s gmail 🙂

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