by Mike Rinder

Here is the latest twist on sucking blood out of stones.

Once you have turned over any available money and have borrowed to your credit card limit and taken out your second or third mortgage, cashed in your life insurance policy and sold your future rights to an inheritance, there is something more EVERYONE can give in order to raise their status.

Here is the newest email from Orange County Pawn Shop Fundraisers:

From: Orange County [mailto:orangecounty@scientology.net]
Sent: Monday, January 17, 2011 10:36 PM
To: theresoneborneveryminute@yahoo.com
Subject: Would You Like To Participate In The Ebay Game?

 Dear Victim,  



 The eBay game is a way for as many people as possible to help with fundraising to complete the Ideal Org building in Orange County, in a way that requires very little effort. Almost everyone has something around their house or apartment which could be sold on eBay for some value. Jewelry, collectibles, antiques, novelty items, old baseball cards, old comic books, musical equipment… you get the idea.

Turn that useless Matter into productive Energy to help us all reach the goal! It’s simple – just bring any items you wish to donate to any of the Fundraiser I/C’s at the Org. We will then arrange to have them placed for sale on eBay (or Craig’s List). You will then be credited for the amount sold, toward your Ideal Org donation status.

 What could be easier?

 Larger items can also be donated, such as boats, furniture, appliances, and the like. For items that are too large to be brought in to the org, let us know and we will make arrangements for larger size donations.

If you are interested in helping get the smaller flows going so the bigger ones can happen, just answer this email letting us know and you answer will be forwarded to the right terminal who will contact you directly !

 Thank You!!

Yvonne, Marty and Marie

Next up on the Vulture Culture agenda, once all personal possessions, teeth fillings and hair are sold off:


You know the old saying, we achieve our goals with blood, sweat and tears. Well, have we got news for you. Your sweat and tears may be spilled in great volume, but they’re not going to get you to that next all-important status. BUT, your blood can. We have made a special arrangement with Plasma Corp of America.  Just go to any of their locations and tell them you are humanitarian contributor to the Church of Scientology, and they will credit 75%of your blood donation to your status account.  Join us in the greatest blood drive ever. Now your blood has real meaning to the greatest game on earth.


We know you can’t give blood every day.  Your body needs a little time to replenish itself. But don’t worry, we have you covered. We are in negotiation with a medical group in India.  They will pay good money towards YOUR STATUS for your kidneys.  You don’t need both kidneys and you can donate one to a REAL valuable cause – our building. And if you only have one kidney, you can donate skin, eyes, teeth and many other sorts of tissue you may never have thought of.  You can demonstrate your dedication to the most important game on earth with the ultimate sacrifice for the ultimate STATUS – humanitarian sacrificial lamb. Remember, you are NOT a body – but it sure can help you achieve your next status. And don’t forget, that status will carry you into eternity in better shape than you have ever been.

And finally, not ready to be named an official status booster program yet, but on the line-up for 2011, once we sort out some legal points:  Mothers, wives and daughters, a special game just for you.  It’s a time proven method of making money. One of the oldest known to man…

Stay tuned – we are out of ideas right now, but we never stop thinking of way for YOU to achieve your status.

Far-fetched?  Yes.

Unreal? No.

10 years ago who would have believed orgs would be engaged in raffles, Top Gun nights, bingo and begging for money?

You are watching the Church of Scientology destroy itself.

36 responses to “WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

  1. Freaking hilarious.
    Millimeter by millimeter DM has turned L. Ron Hubbard’s life’s work into something out of Kafka. Compare today’s “Church of Scientology” to, say, the 1970s or 80s, when people came for services, exchanged for them and did them and then did more services. Nowadays it is Farmer Dave and his Organ Harvesting Crew at your cervix with a Desolation Row soundtrack.

  2. Did LRH actually create a post called “fundraiser I/C”??

    This information is embarassing. It is also further validation that getting out of the church version of Scientology was the best move I have made in a decade. It is also interesting that I have seen an improvement in finances and also in ability.

    They need to put DM for sale on e-bay.


  3. martyrathbun09

    No, in fact he prohibited such a notion in the most unequivocal terms.

  4. As Yogi Berra once said: “It’s Deja Vu all over again.”

    In the wake of the 1982 Mission Holder’s conference, a Mission in my area was holding “yard sales” most every weekend. The Mission Holder and one of her staff would drive around on local trash pickup nights, looking for items to “salvage”, and that would make up the majority of the “yard sale” material. Needless to say, that Mission was not long for this world, and the space is now occupied by a Dunkin Donuts franchise.

    Another Yogi’ism was “You can observe a lot, just by watching.”
    Me thinks they are beyond the point of no return….

  5. martyrathbun09

    The future ain’t what it used to be.

  6. Maybe they could put on a show in the barn!

  7. This is pathetic! OMG I couldn’t stop laughing; donating skin, hair and teeth. What happened to good old fashion delivering 100% standard tech services to boom and expand the org! The pitiful point is that the people contributing to this don’t see the out point when it is a glaring them in the face!

  8. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

  9. This is almost scientific in proposal.

    If the Church of DM can bankrupt its members these members so bankrupted can then be more easily persuaded to join the Sea Org, where more surprises await them. I have seen Sea Org members before and I don’t mean to mock them but some of them look like their hair had been cut by a blind person with hedge clippers in his or her hands.

    Good game to play huh? Oh, and did I mention no medical benefits for SO members UNLESS the Sea Org member is beat up by an executive who then orders the person to a hospital to avoid criminal prosecution.

  10. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/21/nyregion/21mob.html?emc=eta1

    This is a link of the massive raid the FBI made on over 100 organized crime family members. If the Int Base, IAS, etc are not other examples of organized crime, then maybe the FBI should check it out.

  11. Tony Dephillips

    Hillarius Mike.
    How about selling children into the black market adoption program to reach your next status? Most likely that child is just so much grass anyways…

  12. Impartial English Girl

    Good GRIEF!! I always suspected DM might have more than a passing interest in ‘pawn’ography…

    IEG x

  13. Mike said;
    “You are watching the Church of Scientology destroy itself.”

    Very accurate summation. With little hope of reverseing course, the church as we know it will be a footnote in history. The future of scientology and any promise it holds for positively impacting society lies in those independent training centers and field practices. And even they will have hurdles to overcome because the publics dimal perception of scientology. There is not a person in the world who won’t get grief from family and friends when they announce they are looking into scientology, unless they live in some remote region of the world without access to the internet. Its going to be a long, slow road back. But thats better than no road. The superhighway is blown up, its back to country roads and back trails. But its a path.

  14. “Help us out of a JAM!”….he exclaimed, a large glass jar of the purple condiment held high in one hand for all to see, a microphone in the other. The guarded crowd at tonight’s “event” chortled and moaned at the attempted humor, a few faint claps in the distance. Our New OT Vlll Foundation E/D was auctioning off a jar of jam, and then a bag of potato chips, in order to buy his way into having an “Ideal Org”. “CHIP in!” He shouts. He proceeds to begin reading off the ingredients on the back of the bag, coercing the slightly disbelieving audience to mumble “Mmmmmm” in unison. And no…there is no dubbing anything in here. There are roughly 70 witnesses to this hideous display of personal-integrity gone bad. And then it was on to his neck tie. Around Twelve-hundred dollars, it seems, was the final price. His own wife was kind enough to bail him out of that one.

    In all the green vol’s one can read, you will find nothing by our founder to even remotely support the above.

    “Whooo’s NEXT!?!” The speaker system distorted under the strain. In the first several rows, random sets of shoulders jolted upward, then dropped, as if to say, “Ouch!”. But nobody had quite the audacity to actually cover their ears while sitting in full view of their peers. It was our Day E/D and his all-too-familiar tactic of scaring the bejeezus out of an entire room full of good people by throttling the mic and utterly screaming into it. And all the while, the fund-raising In-Charge was at the ready, stage left, with whiteboard and marker, anxiously scanning the audience for the next hand to go up, as well as the scrutinizing scowls coming from the uniforms in the back of the room. Pressure! Lots of pressure! A big haul was needed that night. And after 6 straight years of fund-raising, these guys had itdown. The Day E/D continued…”What you’re actually doing is taking energy from your 1st and 2nd Dynamic and transferring it over to your 3rd and 4th!!! So……who’s next!!!” Yep. He actually said this. Shouted it, in fact. One could offer an interpretation of the actual meaning: “We’ve utterly failed to stick to LRH and have thus taken up DM’s unusual solutions as our new operating basis. So, you turkeys had better go along with it and reward us with your upstat, personal production!” And the event grinds on…

    In these scenarios it is best to have an escape plan. You socialize and mingle around the food line early in the evening. You say all the right things to your local opinion leaders and you schmooze with the current SO missionaires. You prove that you can toe that line as well as the next guy. You tuck your integrity into your back pocket and you wonder if things will ever get any better. Unfortunately you doubt it, that is, if you have any ability whatsoever to predict 3rd Dynamic trends. You sit through the main portion of the event, the Chaos Merchant tactics. You learn all about the dangerous environment and how the new buildings will bring about world peace, save the economy and attract the CEOs of Starbucks, Microsoft and Boeing!

    It must be true! The slightly menacing lady from Int Management took the stage and said so.

    You know what comes next. Fund-raising! You wonder if you’re the only one in the room who feels like they just had their last firing-squad incident fully restimulated. But, before too long, you realize that you are actually just picking up on the way the entire room feels. As the fund-raising team takes the stage, you pull out your cell phone and feign an important call. You head for the restroom, Tone 40 all the way. Head down, never to make eye contact with the various staffers you pass by. But, you turn off at the last second and head for the back hallway. It’s long, it’s dark. There’s a side door nobody is guarding. You’re out! You spot a few staffers outside having cigarettes at 30 yards. You hear your name called from the distance and you turn so that the small group can see you’re “on the phone”. A minute later, you slink your way off the grounds, across the street and into your carefully-placed automobile. Never park in the main lot. You’ll never get out alive! You give a sigh of relief. You did it! You were seen by all the important people. You are on-record for having been there. You won’t have to offer any guilt-ridden explanations for why you didn’t attend. You got out before you had to watch the slaughter of your friends’ bank accounts and dignity for the umpteenth time. You head to the nearest bar and order a cold one, wondering how the poor folks at the event are making out and just how late it will go. You quickly shy away from that thought and suddenly get real interested in the football game on the flatscreen. You wonder when you’ll summon up the courage to make your break for real. When you’ll peacefully walk away from the whole scene altogether. You know the true tech works. You know you are on the verge of the Great Middle Path that Marty so eloquently wrote about. You don’t even recognize what your religion has become any more. You want to tell everyone the truth. You can’t. Or…can you? Your non-Scientology friends act interested in your plight out of basic courtesy but they couldn’t possibly have enough reality to even begin to separate LRH from DM. And so, you back-off on that line altogether. You realize that you are alone.

    For twenty years you were there. You donated money to the IAS to save the world even though you didn’t have any. You gave years of service. You helped. You defended. You stood up for LRH. You really did. And now, you are sneaking away. Have you become a coward? A victim? Is it a case of “poor little me”? You feel blatantly covert, abandoning your friends….. your group, your personal integrity.

    Your personal integrity? Really? Are you actually abandoning your personal integrity? Well, let’s take a look at that. According to LRH, in the Tech Dictionary, he states that Personal Integrity, “…is knowing what you know. What you know is what you know, and to have the courage to know and say what you have observed. And that is integrity and there is no other integrity”.

    Well…. that about sums things up. What you now know is that your “friends” and your “group” (all very good people), have perhaps given up their personal integrity. And even though it’s uncomfortable as hell, you walk away. And after a few months of feeling like you’ve lost your mind, you read and learn from those on the Middle Path. It helps tremendously. And then, you begin to write, you begin to share, you begin to help and you know you’re gonna be okay…

    Written by Idle Org

  15. Priscilla Smith

    At my local idle org, they were kicking around the idea of using all the young and attractive women in the org for a bikini car wash. Don’t know if it ever happened, but it just shows what the mentality is – anything to make money as long as it’s not illegal. They’ve already done a “Monte Carlo night” wherein you buy chips and gamble like in a casino, but you don’t actually take home anything since you can’t cash out your winnings. They also did a “Bowling for Dollars” event wherein you sponsor a bowler to get the highest score. What does all these fundraising activities have to do with getting up the Bridge? Absolutely nothing, but for some reason they are very heavily encourgaged by the current “church”.

  16. Sickening. What ain’t Scientology? THIS!

  17. Boy, talk about unusual solutions!

    The C of S seems intent on running can’t have on all dynamics.

    Now we have staff selling MEST on EBay…what ever happened to selling Scientology?

  18. School Of St Trinians

    Your taking the pith

  19. This Saturday at the FH is the “Florida’s Got Talent” fund raiser!

    Get this, it’s not even for a specific Org! It’s for the Florida Ideal Orgs.

  20. Centurian, the “church version of Scientology” is not Scientology. That train has left the station years ago.

    I listened to the three-lecture series “Scientology It’s General Background” the other day – this is the tape that became part of the opening chapters to The Phoenix Lectures book. Scientology is knowledge, it is in a long chain of Wisdom starting from the Vedas and moving through Taoism, Dharma, and the middle-eastern revealed religions. A kind religion, granting beingness; a kind and loving God, references to the New Testament as being a break from the Angry God of the Old Testament because, perhaps, Christ did some of his study in India. (here is a link to the idea – I have not read this, but to prove that Ron was not talking out of his ass when he suggested Christ was in India http://reluctant-messenger.com/issa.htm)

    Kindness and civilization. What do we see now when we look at the fruits of Mr. David Miscavige? It is not what Ron was postulating back in the ’50s, that is for sure. It is NOT Scientology. Personally, I don’t even like the term “Radical Scientology” although I understand its use.

    To me, the message to those who are in is: “You. You who claim to be a Scientologist. This crap that Mr. David Miscavige and team are doing is NOT Scientology (and show the reasons – Garcia’s letter, this blog, this post, etc.). Ergo, Scientologist-claimant, you are not involved in Scientology. I assume you want to be. Scientology is currently in the field. Start!”

    And if they worry about their lost donations, well, it is a sunk cost, friend. Get over it, and go forward. The good news is that you will never have to dip into whatever credit you have left or your grand-mother’s fine silverware again!

    You know, I can be just as indignant to those who are in the “church” as they are to me for being “out” of the church. More so, because while Ron never wanted the group to splinter, he wanted the tech to stay pure more.

    I will say that again:

    Ron did not want the group to splinter. But he wanted the tech to stay pure more.

    And so do I.

  21. Yes, or selling them into Nigerian slavery. You would probably get more $, and anyway, they are not really your kids, they just sprung from your body.

  22. Can you say Desperate…..threats don’t work anymore, anyone I have spoken with is in total boredom with the existing scene.

    Good post Mike. Plasma Corp of America, that’s a good one!

  23. Excellent summary, IO – excellent. And, for those who think the “Coward” is crazy, remember that the whole reason he was there in the first place was the true, clean, spark of Truth – the incredible regain of an ability thought lost forever. The total elimination of a throbbing headache that was so constant you didn’t know you had it until it went away. The incredible knowledge that you can be and are independent of the body. The feeling of love and kinship for other fellows.

    And, so we put up with it for so long because this badness surely will go away.

    But, after all these years, I can safely say that that wish is futile – within the Church, anyway. The GOOD news is that the badness can be abandoned, because a lot of good people have cut bait, and are now just being Scientologists sans-baggage.

  24. I’m surprised there are not BINGO parlors in every ideal org.

  25. Something for nothing:
    5 or 6 years ago the Stuttgart (Germany) HCO issued an ORDER to attend a “special meeting” to all the OT’s in this region. It turned out that, after a lot of hype on stage about “The Ideal Org” for Stuttgart, every OT present was required to cough up 10,000 Euros for every OT level attained BEFORE leaving the meeting.
    Sounds crazy? It was done.
    So this article does not really surprise me in the least.

  26. Pingback: WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? (via Moving On Up a Little Higher) | Grasshopper's Blog

  27. Man o’ Man …

    I had to laugh but in reality it is soooo sad.

    Speaking of Blood – they already have started:


    Get a load of this … not only is the blood flowing but they’ve got stats for it!!

    “Scientology Volunteers (http://www.scientology-fso.org) donated 239 pints of blood in 2010 to Florida Blood Services collected in four blood drives sponsored by the Church of Scientology and FBS. Each pint of blood can save up to three lives meaning more than 700 lives can potentially be saved.”

  28. Next thing ya know, they’ll be cutting that blood with Kool-aid to blow the lid off those stats

  29. Sad but so very true.

  30. It’s unbelievable enough that people would eBay/pawn their stuff for this, but for it to be officially sanctioned and _encouraged_?? Wow.
    Don’t forget that in some areas, especially near me in West Hollywood, CA, men and boys may be able to participate as well in that “upcoming project” … ugh
    And lastly, remove the ban on having children in the SO! They can fetch a pretty penny among certain circles… “especially those little white ones!” (From Strangers With Candy).

    To see such strong passion and commitment of public Scns so horribly abused and misdirected by the higher-ups is just appalling.

  31. I am not a doomsayer nor do I focus on conspiracies. One does not have to be either of these things to see the writing on the wall regarding the tough economic challenges this country (and the world) face in the upcoming years. We are headed for probable hyper inflation, food shortages, skyrocketing unemployment and a host of other scary scenarios that could turn America into something the likes of which no living American has ever seen.

    There are some rough times ahead and we all need to help each other.

    It is during these times that a church should be a sanctuary. It should provide succor and solutions to the ravages of the world. It should be providing, to its parishioners, sound economic advice. It should be recommending savings and emergency rations and supplies, for the survival of those who have always supported the organization.

    Instead it fervently seeks to compromise its members, making them weak and vulnerable should even a slight emergency ensue. This is criminal. They are really setting themselves up to be attacked later. It could be an absolutely horrible mess. People are not so willing to look the other way when they and their children are hungry.

    Here is a link to just a random article about a Christian church advising its members to focus their attention on survival priorities:


    An excerpt:

    “Ballance shares practical financial tips in his book called, The Trinity Plan.

    For example:

    -Live within your means.

    -Pay all of your bills on time.

    -Improve your credit score. Don’t waste money on credit repair companies promising to fix your history for a fee.

    -Don’t apply for credit on a whim. Pay down credit card balances.

    -Learn to save money.

    Church members are listening and acting.”

    You will NEVER see that kind of advice from the Church of Scientology.

    For those lurking or sitting on the fence:

    No one, NO ONE, is going to help you and your family the way that you would. Do not expect, when the sh-t hits the fan, that the church will help you. They are ruthlessly bent on one product and one product only and it ISN’T your well being.

    In the end, you will have to answer up. Pay attention and act on what you KNOW is right.

  32. Carol, You’re right. They have to come up with something new — hence my suggestions!

  33. All I have to say is LOL there is one born every minute. I am glad it is no longer me.

  34. Martin. — I really like this comment! It makes me laugh. Thanks for posting. H

  35. Mothers, wives and daughters, a special game just for you. It’s a time proven method of making money. One of the oldest known to man…


    I have a ’71 GE Toaster and an Okie-dokie 68 Chevy Piston Rod I would like to contribute.

    Do they come?

  36. Loki ( ref Mike said )
    You couldn’t not have put it in better words if I dare say this. It makes me sick to think I would have to comment of such a disaster . Its utterly sick .DM is InSane and whilst at the same time
    announcing this, He is signing his own death as Totaly failure of his Own Makings. Bringing the reputation of Scientology down to this level which is forbidden to do this within Scientology by LRH. Its destroying it and LRH. Utterly horrible and disgusting beyond words. Here I have to say it makes me wonder who ever is still in there if they were to get to known this What on earth is thought by this and those ones Reactions. I have to include even LRH’s daugther Diana and Heber . After all they are humans regardless who thinks otherwise and what they think .God help them .

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