Car Wash

358 responses to “Car Wash

  1. Sorry, looks like you’re trying to use the same tactic on them as they are trying to use on you. Suggest you re-read Phoenix Lectures. Yeah, send the hate comments, but that’s what I see.

  2. Brilliant!

  3. Marty, I am getting “this video is private” error when I try to play this.

  4. Well, OMFG! I haven’t laughed like that in a while! Completely insouciance!

  5. I am seriously laughing my ass off right now – this is awesome 🙂

  6. Wow, that’s the shortest column ever! Leaves everything open to interpretation. I presume the text will be added by the time I check back?

  7. Wow, that was quick. I clicked on Post Comment and the rest appeared. I feel like God!

  8. It says this video is private…. and cannot be watched

  9. Bert Schippers

    F’in Priceless!

  10. Says this video is private..

  11. Now I watched it. Thanks for the hilarious laugh! And by the way, where’s the evidence? I guess it evaporated!
    In that Texas heat I hear you’re having, you did them a favor by keeping them from dehydrating! LOL

  12. As if they don’t absolutely fucking deserve it!

  13. Thanks Marty.. extraordinarily enjoyable to see… what a laugh!!

  14. Hahahahahahahah Hilarious stuff!

    Right in the pie hole 🙂

    Man, can’t stop laughing hahahahahaha

  15. Tory Christman

    I agree…it IS funny …thanks for the great laugh. Just make sure you talk to the cops and make sure you know *exactly* what your rights are (and are not) in your State, as You of all people KNOW they’ll use whatever they can against you.

    Speaking as someone who they tried to pin a “Criminal Conviction” on, and failed utterly….here is how it went down: They created an “Injunction” in Clearwater, in 2000, with maps, saying we could not block their dirveways, doors, and had to walk on the other side of the street. I told all to follow it, as knowing OSA, I knew this was no joke. Even still, they TRIED to get that Criminal Conviction for
    1) “Sitting in an Empty Red Santa’s chair …which they claimed was blocking a door (that had huge bushes in front of it) and was laughed out of court,
    2) Blocking a driveway (that a UPS truck drove through–proving I did NOT) and
    3) walking down the wrong side of the street…..the only one the Judge fined me for, making me pay $100–I speak from experience on this. They lost their Criminal Conviction, but created a HUGE critic by those actions, alone.
    Their Security guard (a 21 year old kid) admitted they had “Over 100 cameras on us in a 4 block area”. Disgusting AND true.
    Stay safe and keep up the spraying…..that is FUNNY!

  16. No Pazooter,

    Marty isn’t stalking them in front of their houses for several months straight, filming into their windows and in front of all their neighbors. I’m amazed Marty hasn’t beaten the living shit out of one of them by now. Kudos to him, if anything.

  17. I was caught completely off guard with that…..I damned near wet my pants laughing….

    I have to admit now, these squirrel busters now have the cleanest nuts in town.


  18. Marty, that was hilarious! Almost wet my pants, without the garden hose!

  19. Chad Braunersrither

    Says the video is private!

  20. OMG! this is hilarious and I couldn’t stop LMAO!!!!

  21. Actually, I apologize for that, Bryan. What you said DOES fit the concept of tactic. Strategy would convey a more accurate message.

  22. one of those who see

    High pressure day at work. Thanks for this Hilarious Interlude!! Ready for Saturday Night Live. LOL!!!

  23. Robert Earle

    me too

  24. Watching Eyes

    Pazooter, I think you’re the one who needs to re-read the Phoenix Lectures. Think about it.
    ps. This isn’t a “hate comment”. Consider it educational.


  26. By far the best post ever!

    Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!

    Pazooter, I believe Marty is spot on – consider what he’s been through, and yet he still has the humor – there is a point when it’s OK to poke a little back and I think Marty’s gentle nods that are done in good tatse and humor do nothing but blow more charge on the subject.


  27. Tom Gallagher

    Bravo Marty! Encore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. OMG! LOL! Anybody who doesn’t think this is the right thing to do needs to listen to The Free Being. In situations like this, you need a combination of FORCE (not necessarily violence) AND INTELLIGENCE! Brilliant on both counts!!!!

  29. OMFG marty you old troll! ❤

    i'm stuck for words, that's awsome !!

  30. It’s playing now.

    Class act Marty. You intentional missed their equipment and politely cooled them off on another hot hot South Texas day. Nice music!

    I assume all that waving was them thanking you for the respite.


  31. Ijustwantthebeatingstostop

    Thanks for the laugh Marty. I can see their video now “We were attacked by the SQUIRREL with a water hose!!” I’m surprised that they didn’t melt… the wicked witch.

    I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. Great SPIRIT OF PLAY!!


  32. Pissed Wizard

    This is too good….
    (works on wifes machine)

  33. When those ladies get too close to the carwash, they’re gonna get wet! 🙂

  34. Robert Earle

    ok now

  35. I mean “Producer” and ” Assistant Producer”, got to keep those lies straight.

  36. I don’t care what it is…it’s dang funny and totally spirit of play.

    Maybe the “solid comm line” even brought them up tone a bit (despite themselves)

    Just one question, Marty, were you secretly trying to water their thetans and make them grow???


  37. LMFAO…. assault with a watery weapon!

  38. Chad Braunersrither

    Thanks for fixing the link. That was awesome and was incredibly funny. I hope that doesn’t get you in trouble or set anything back. I’m surprised you haven’t done something like this sooner.

  39. Almost peed my pants this was so funny. Good job Marty.

  40. Oh no, I see it coming: A complaint by the Squirrel Busters that Marty directed a high pressure stream of hydrous oxide at them, causing temporary blindness, difficulty breathing, and uncomfortable skin sensation.
    Call the FBI!!!!

  41. Starting an office pool here on who loses their cool first.

    a. Marty
    b. Ralph Kramden
    c. Nurse Ratched
    d. John Ass-ender
    e. Bart Parr

    My bets on Ralph. He seems to be getting close to the edge, though Nurse Ratched is also looking pretty ragged… No smart money is on Bart as he is Lablow’s personal buttboy and it would cost Lablow his lucrative career if Bart let him down.

    At this stage, there is nobody willing to take Marty in the pool. Even the KoolAid drinkers can see their efforts are a big FAIL as they keep being exposed, outwitted and owned. They seem to be getting more and more frustrated.

  42. A little laughter is good for the soul…That was too funny! 🙂

  43. After almost wetting my pants with this hilarious depiction of your Texan reality I have several different thoughts about this…
    That was probably their first bath in days, so you did them a favor…
    With the weather in Texas it probably was a blessing -lets say a baptism- for them to get wet by you…
    It was a waste of perfectly good clean water for you though…
    Dumpster diving to steal and then getting caught and arrested is still the lowest low, so these guys are still upstat in comparison.
    All nonsense apart, all of these koolaid drinkers are considered heroes in Central Co$, the rest of the herd probably ignore this is happening!

  44. Good song!

  45. Dont worry JD, they have surely hired the 4 most expensive law firms within 100 miles to put pressure on the County Attorney to press charges for “assault.” You can count on it that parisihioner money is being spent on this as we type. Likelihood of success: 0. But dont doubt POB issued the orders to get it done when he saw this video (probably when they called in their report after it happened).

  46. Miscavige: Hurry, get some WD-40, your Tools are gonna rust…

  47. Barney Rubble

    John Assender is my pick, Ralphie is making more $ at this than John Ass.

  48. Well, if you can’t get ’em on the cans, gotta try to clean them up however possible, lol!

  49. Marty, absolutely loved this.This should be on comedy central. All Allender does is flap his lips.

  50. Oh, I agree, MR, just like kindergarteners: “Waaaa, he…he…sprayed us with WATER!”

  51. All I know is it was the perfert relief at the end of a long day. My belly laugh was so infectious, my wife started laughing. Soon, we were in tears of laughter and smiling without reservation. It really was funny!!!

  52. Carol:

    “All Allender does is flap his lips”

    That’s been true since he first raised his ugly head with Lori in a parking lot in San Jose.

    He is a creep of the first order.

    Now he is a wet, lip-flapping creep of the first order.

  53. Great job Marty, you’re an inspiration! You dominated the space and that is OT! Funny as hell! Though hell is not funny so… XD

  54. Funny, but Marty is better than this. I prefer the recent video where he told one of the stalkers to quiet down because there was auditing going on inside, and the stalker caved and said OK. The water hose stuff can easily be edited up by PoB to make Marty look bad.

  55. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone

    Well, that seemed to dampen their enthusiasm!

  56. mikerinder, my bet is on Ass-ender. Ralph and Nurse Ratched have certainly reached their “breaking point”. Looks like Ralph and Ratched just want to go home.

  57. My neighbor has a Motion sensor sprinkler that she uses to keep the javalina at bay, since the car wash tactic worked so well, wouldn’t it be nice to see motion sensor spinklers up and down the street to keep the squirrel busters at bay?

  58. Brian — SUre they can edit it. That isnt dependent on Marty showing his version. They had their camera rolling the whole time. So, they will make what they will with it regardless of whether Marty let everyone else have a good laugh. I certainly appreciated a little lightheartenedness and laugh at the expense of the golf-cart goons. The way they twist and distort and edit the footage they shoot, this will be turned into an attempted drowning… It’s better for the world to see the whole thing than the twisted crap POB will put out about this.

  59. +10000000000000000000

  60. Eileen Clark

    ohhhhh!!! ROTFLMAO….that was the best comic relief, even beats seeing poor Mr Ed get taken off in handcuffs. Hope they thanked you for cooling them off…hahahaha!

  61. I’ll go along with Carol on this one, John has a short fuse and this will set him off big time. He’ll be back with a supersoaker.

  62. And the beat goes on…..
    Day after day, hour after hour, they continue to stalk and harass.
    Continuity of an unsound action tends to get CUMULATIVE in the magnitude of insanity ~~ it can be viewed as.
    The world mocks and scorns the “Church” playing out its vindictiveness
    but they continue inexorably even when they are nothing more than embarrassment.
    I tried so hard in my last years in the CULT to not see the outpoints glaring in my face. I really tried to make sense of it all. I tried and I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. I stayed loyal years and years and years (35 in total) defending the out points, now I feel nothing but embarrassment and shame that I contributed to Miscavology’s stats when I look at these videos and the Marty/Mosey siege.
    Such lack of understanding, such folly, such distasteful conduct as Revenge Gang Stalking would be a Bloods and Crypts (Los Angeles gangs) activity.
    Orchestrated by the head of a “Church” it is deranged activity.

  63. mrinder, “this will be turned into an attempted drowning”. my vote is on water boarding with POB’s head inserted on Ass-ender’s body and shortened a few feet.

  64. As a point of humor I can see it, yes. Not convinced that it was solely that.

  65. Content is King on this blog!

    I especially liked how you targeted their nether regions and got their underpants all wet! That was f**kin funny! And the extended sprays right into their faces, knocking off their hats and glasses as they continued to try to bullbait you like the lame assholes that they *must* know deep down that they are!

    Can you imagine taking money to do such a degrading job as they do, every day, day in and day out? Only Spray-Hose Tech reveals their punk-like nature!



    This is WAY better than Reality TV.

  66. Bhaaaaaaaaaaa..Ha ha ha !
    That is so hilarious!
    Gomez at 3:00 is calling THE boss “hey what do we do now, cause we are in big trouble?” POB THE boss “you fuck an idiots, go get water pistols!
    Marty, you are a big monster SP. Now we have an evidence!

  67. Carol:

    OK, one bet on Ass-ender and one on Ralph Kramden.

    I wonder if Ralph or Nurse R can extricate themselves before they lose it completely? I dont think Ralph can hold out much longer — he’s going to crack or blow.

    Just as a side comment, I think there are a lot of people in this world that would consider sitting in front of someone’s house in a golf cart for months on end wearing silly Tshirts and hats are real signs of having lost it completely already… 🙂

  68. This was exactly the right thing to do.

    Any DA is going to look at this and be laughing too hard to even think about pressing charges. The fact that the Int Base uses sprinklers on protestors makes this EPIC JUSTICE.

    OK-maybe not as “epic” as multiple human trafficking felony convictions, but still funny as Hell!

    “Sprinkler tech” Indie Style! Love It!

  69. Funniest Video I have seen in a long time! Definitely brightened my day. My friend said if he had been Marty’s Neighbor, he would have been out there on the other side washing his truck.

    To all those complaining about this event, listen, it is NOTHING like what DM has been doing. Don’t forget the sprinklers being turned on the protesters outside the Gold Base. The difference is the Gold base has a high speed road rather than a culdesac. DM’s intention was to force the protesters out into the highway where they might get hit by a car. The only danger these bozos were in was getting wet and with the Texas Heat Wave, I would have welcomed it if I were them!

  70. David — Great idea.

    What is SO ironic about this episode is that Gold has used “sprinkler tech” to douse protesters for years. I believe they even installed special sprinklers at POB’s orders that come on and drench the right of way and into the road “accidentally.”

  71. To Infinity and Beyond

    This was funny! Thanks for the great laugh. I watched it over and over. I would have loved to hear what that guy was bitching about as he was getting sprayed. What an idiot.

    Btw: Pazooter = Troll

  72. ROFLMAO!!!!

    You are the man, Marty “El Cojones” Rathbun!

    Marry me, you magnificent bastard!!


  73. Mark — I also just commented on the base “sprinkler tech”! It is really ironic and very funny to watch. You know POB has watched videos of protesters at Gold being sprayed and thought it was REALLY funny, yukked it up with Lou and TC, and now he is bursting veins in his neck that “his” OTAsses are being owned by Marty.

  74. Pazooter — and I am not convinced you are anything other than a troll.

  75. You are right Pazooter, he was also out there with the intention of “washing his car”, so it wasn’t solely humor, there was some actual business he had to do as well.

  76. This IS reality TV!!!

  77. [X] drought in Texas
    [X] idiots harassing Marty & wife
    [X] old-school water treatment
    [X] laughing ass off

  78. 🙂

  79. I smell OSA TROLL! sniff sniff sniff… Yep, no sense of humor. Tell davey I got a torch for him.

  80. By golly it looks like the Squirrel Busters are all wet! Now that is what I call keeping cool in the Texas heat! Hey Marty, you and I should talk sometime, I like your way of doing things! 🙂

  81. Message for Nurse R, Ralph K, John Ass and Bart Simpson:

    Nobody is laughing with you.

    EVERYONE is laughing AT you.

  82. How about a wet t-shirt contest?

  83. Yah well Marty is the only one in Play. The rest are oh so solid. Not good to be wrapped that tight on these hot Texas summer drought days. Talk about a nut cracker. The heat and worthless purpose on one hand and DM demanding overts as products on the other.

    They should thank Marty for the auditing session he gave them.


  84. That’s one reason I was glad Marty didnt soak Nurse Ratched….

  85. And, evidently, nor do you care.

  86. Brian S, Lighten up a little. This is Marty at his best. It’s called The Spirit of Play – we don’t always have to be so damn serious, you know.

  87. PZ — Right you are.

  88. mrinder, lost it they have indeed .

  89. That totally cracked me up! I coulda sworn you were dancing or wanted to real bad. Felt good to see you do something to them! Perfect song too. 😀

  90. TroubleShooter

    I LMAO and it started all over again when I got to here “Gomez at 3:00 is calling THE boss “hey what do we do now, cause we are in big trouble?” POB THE boss “you fuck an idiots, go get water pistols!”

    oh my god – and the music . . . still lmao

  91. I am sorry Marty but you are better than that. Don’t stoop to their level. Remember they are the ones blowing it but if you get charged with assault it won’t help you. With the recent F-up’s they have made, let them hang themselves.

  92. Excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent!

  93. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone

    Too easy: f. David Miscavige

  94. That is too fucking funny!
    Hysterical, Marty…and brilliant:
    it reminds us all that this is just a goddamn game—and it’s supposed to be fun.
    you know, instead of getting so ridged up and solid, they COULD have chosen to laugh—imagine what that would have done……..

  95. OMG Mike-You got me laughing so hard

  96. You mean like leave the suppression?

  97. RP:

    I think they should hang themselves… out to dry.

  98. Pazooter- Stuff it!

    Marty- ROTFLMAO

    Karen #1- Glad to have you with us.

    RP- it was a garden hose for crying out load. I’ll bet the local D/A is laughing too.

    Marty- funniest damn video yet. Better than thugs in a boat.

  99. Mike,
    I’ll have my hose ready if JA tries to Harass me again in my work parking lot or at my home LOL!!! Oh yeah maybey my pressure washer would be a better choice!!
    🙂 Lori

  100. The travesty here seems to be that John Assender, Nurse Rached, Ralphie Kramden, and Bart Simpson are still out there in force harassing in spite of the recent events, exposing them for what they are – religious hate crime mongers and terrorist wannabes (Marty and Mosey aren’t cooperating and shaking in terror). It is the POB sticking the middle finger out at law enforcement & Justice dept. and their inability to protect citizens and assure the human rights of IOB, Texas, US of A!

  101. Well, that topped off a wonderful BeDay for me. I couldn’t have asked for anything that would be better than this.

    If the busters had been able to see the absurdity of their situation, the levity of the scene, and just cracked up and had a good laugh – played – they’d have had more case gain than a billion hours of DMTech ™ at $1200/hour.

    Jou fallass, jou gotsta loooooosen up just like Mickey Estrada juiced to say.

  102. Michael Fairman

    Marty bravo, and pardon my purile humor. I’m an actor and we never grow up. Bravo for taking a metaphorical leak on these guys. It’s what they deserve. “Hosing down” the flotsam and jetsam to clean his walkway is every homeowner’s perogative — and duty. Hey, and you cooled them off on a hot day to the bargain. Bravooooo! The greatest good for the greatest number.

  103. Who else is being stalked and harassed? I would say, “Piss on them!” Pissing on people being illegal, the water was a much better choice. Could you post others being harassed? Maybe a few hundred people in masks surrounding them chanting “The spirit of Christ compels you!” while spraying them with holy water would do the trick. Whoops! Bad idea. They might spin their heads around and projectile vomit pea soup. KEEP THAT HOSE HANDY!!!!!!! Are there any army special forces or homeland security people nearby to handle all the Uzbekistan stalkers?

  104. Michael Fairman

    Spirit of play RP, spirit of play.

  105. Chris Johnson

    Pre-emptively posting this vid to YouTube was simply genius!

    Say what you will, but the fact is that this video only demonstrates that you can playfully urinate into the faces of Squirrel Busters (symbolically speaking, of course) just because you feel like it. Realistically, what are they going to do, call the local cops? Haha, yea right, good luck with all that.

    And hilariously, you know this latest episode this will cause those idiotic zombies to somehow up the ante, which will inveitably lead to the next level of humiliation. Bring it!

  106. Swedish Girl

    Yes this is very funny, but their is far to much name calling and nastiness going on. You would never see this going on in my faith.

  107. =================URGENT TELEX TO COB=====================
    —RE: Urgent request
    From: Gomez SB I/C
    Please have four sets of scuba tanks, wet suits and waterproof cameras sent at once. We are under assault from a super charged, hypersonic water cannon that Marty has installed in front of Casa Blanca.

    Issue in doubt with out immediate scuba gear.


  108. HelluvaHoax!

    I don’t know if what I was watching was good strategy, but…

    That was funny as hell, hell, hell!

    Between Marty’s “You tell Raphael…” comment the other day and CarWash, if this shit goes pay-per-view, count me in as a paying subscriber.

  109. Watching Eyes

    They’d have one tough time trying to use that video against Marty. First off, no DA in his right mind would agree to bring charges. Secondly, can you just picture a jury when they watched this video? They’d be falling out of their chairs with laughter. Then, DM’s bots would risk getting hit with malicious prosecution and abuse of process charges.

  110. SG — whatever your religion is, I doubt they send people to sit outside someone’s house in a golf cart wearing his face on Tshirts for months on end, with specific instructions to “make his life a living hell” either.

  111. It must be very hot down there. In addition to providing misting service some Kool Aid may help keep them hydrated.

  112. No amount of water will cleanse their souls.

  113. Thank you very much, love a good laugh.
    Nice shoot’n by the way.

  114. Michael Fairman

    You call the comments here “far too much name calling and nastiness”???
    Do you understand the history here? Find out what it is and then report if you would “turn the other cheek’, if that indeed applies to your faith.

  115. Marty, I LIKE the way you wash a car! I can’t stop laughing!!!

  116. That is my favorite! 🙂
    Really, while letting them to stay at the level they chosen to be at, you can maintain your level of having fun playing with damn serious idiots.
    It was such a relief to see!

  117. who cares if there was more to it… your missing the whole point by stcking yourself on one point.

    Scientology went wrong when “individual Scientologists” decided it was the panacea for everything… an inconsistency since “there are no absolutes.”

    Learn to laugh dude… you’ll enjoy life so much more. And really, what do you think you are accomplishing by “disagreeing” with the truth?

  118. Hi David;

    Didn’t work at Int to keep the protesters away. Nor did the ‘poop tech’. It just added to the lulz.

  119. I can see OSA’s complaint now, “Attempted Water boarding.”

  120. Helmuth,

    is that you — Helmuth Grimm?

  121. maybe. or at least just break it up a little–snap out of the trance. they allow themselves no sense of humor. it’s all black and white–no budging, no listening and sooooo fucking dogmatic. all force. zero finesse. no creativity or fun.

    they are being robots, parroting out what they have been fed to believe. they are not being themselves. they are being who they think they are supposed to be. the sad irony is that they think this is how they can maintain their integrity (but the exact opposite is true).

    it’s the old pie-in-the-face humor. it’s really funny shit. they should have laughed and sprayed marty back. it could have been a great, fall-down-laughing water fight. i have at least one every summer with my kids. it’s just really, really fun. marty gave them an opportunity and they chose to be hardcore serious instead. maybe he should continue the process ’till he gets the ep…. my guess is that even if marty drops the process right now, at some point they will ‘get it’ and laugh. like i said, that is some funny, funny shit.

  122. Scott Campbell

    Haven’t you ever been outside with friends and family when someone screams “WATER FIGHT!” and starts squirting you with the hose? Usually what happens is that everyone gets into the action and hilarity ensues.

    Guess these cats don’t have much sense of humor.

  123. I never heard any name calling…. just the song “car wash”

    Did I miss something?

  124. Beware Allender showing up with an eye patch and claiming damage.
    Aiming at the crotch does the trick. Very funny though.

  125. Yea… Me, i would push this tactic just a bit further by doing a mixture of ragweed and holy water!
    For sure Marty… causing itching, swelling, and mucus production you wouldn’t see those retards at your place for at least a week or so!

  126. mrinder, boy ain’t that the truth!

  127. wannabeclear

    Tory, I was thinking the same thing. This is hilarious, but the Co$ is so litigious, I wouldn’t be surprised if they filed a lawsuit. Is spraying someone with a hose considered assault in the state of Texas? Is it okay if they were trespassing? or harassing and stalking you?

  128. I had the same feeling Jason. What a burst of theta. He could have put this soundtrack to the video:

  129. +100000000000000000

  130. Friggin priceless. Linda was in the other room and I was laughing out loud. She came in to see what I was laughing at and we both were then laughing aloud at the video. Thanks for the har-hars Marty! I needed that.

    ML Tom

  131. funny, really funny , music was good too, why do they still bring them self to this level of effect, sp at effect. well done to play such a game, but watch they are sp to pts characters. maybe water the garden more often due to they are the weeds that need treating or growing too, Marty and fellows or our dear friends, keep the battle plan alive,
    krc darren

  132. Karry Campbell


    Normally I just read your blog and don’t comment. But this has to be the fuckin funniest thing I’ve seen in years. When Scotty showed it to me I was laughing my ass off the whole time!

    Thanks Marty. Once again I salute you. From one crazy to another!

  133. This is just too funny. Awesome!

  134. Michael,
    Totally great image! Bravo for taking a metaphorical leak on these guys.

  135. wannabeclear

    So, I’m guessing their responses were a little different than this?

  136. I bet on John Ass-ender. He will crack, as the cracker that he is.

  137. +1 Marty, hope you had as many laughs making your little film here as I had watching it! Generally cats don’t like water but this time it was highly desirable. 🙂

  138. I’ve been having a notion pop up over the last few days as I have been connecting some dots with DM . I think it is obvious DM is obsessed with Marty. And has been for a very long time. Maybe it wasn’t Tom Cruise DM was really interested in videoing when he taped the auditing sessions. Maybe it was Marty. He kept Marty close to him for how many years? He wooed him back into the Sea Org once personally and fell on his knees to Marty’s wants and needs. He has 24/7 crews on Marty capturing any fame of film on Marty he can. I think I may have overlooked a few things early on but there is something very unusual about DM’s long time fixation and must have / can’t have on Marty. All of his resources are spent on this one terminal when he has op terms all over the world. It causes a mystery because there is something else to this that is a glue and I just keep trying to figure it out. And I think I’m beginning to understand it. I think it’s very personal for DM. Obviously, he has become a fool over this terminal.
    Maybe all of us have just underestimated his ARC for Marty.

  139. Marty,

    It was hilarious. Made me think of Laurel and Hardy holding a hose and turning suddenly to see something and forgetting he had the hose running with the hose getting all over the very stuffy ladies with their pince nez. Very slapstick! 🙂

  140. Spirit of spray

  141. The “Sprinkler Tech” at Gold puts this in total context. I have to admit, I was thinking “what the cuss are you up to, Marty?” It had to be fun to reverse-vector these guys, and especially Mr. D. Miscavige.

  142. Moron. Read what!? I see brilliance. Not only that, every Judge and Officer in the land wants to nail these goons.

    Their acts are dishonor.
    The most offensive thing in the Universe.

    Hose ’em curd dogs Marty!!

  143. I’m laughing again right before I go to bed!! You are so right Mike!!

    Earlier he tried to use a Pink Noise Generator and loud speakers against the protesters at the Gold Base. The Protesters called it the “single note” attack.

    I recognized the sound immediately as a Pink Noise Generator that John McCormack made for us and our use in Sound back in the mid 80s. If you hear that tone once, it is unforgetable and unmistakable. Some on the Anonymous board at the time thought I was crazy, it wasn’t “pink noise” but I knew I was right.

    More importantly I could see DM’s face coming up with this idea and how funny he probably thought it was to disturb those “scum” with his “bright idea”.

    So no one needs to get too bent out of shape over this funny incident today. People got wet on a hot day. Not the same thing.

  144. To My Good Friend Marty,

    After a little bit of mop-up of my coffee I spit all over the floor, I have to tell you man; this was by far the most amusing video I have seen today. Thanks for the big laughs this video caused in my home, watched with my family and my neighbors – over and over and over!

    I’m going to share it at work fist thing in the morning.

    ‘Thanks for the great video showing how funny it can be to confront these clowns that the Church of Scientology leader, Mr David Miscavige, sends out to stalk and mess with people that figured out what a fraud He, Mr. David Miscavige, has been running on people that have fled his sadistic (and possibly criminal) ways – and that have had enough already.

    Haven’t these blue shirted ‘squirrel busters’ been camped out on your street (and in your canal) for like 185 days now? And the Church of Scientology, It’s self appointed leader – David “I’m a Dawrf!” Miscavige – and all of it’s misinformed followers think this is normal?!?!

    ‘Cmon, they know good and gawd damned well its not normal, it’s sheer unadulterated harassment on their part – and it’s about time they knocked their shit off!

    Or as I like to say; “Clean up their act”.

    Gawd, THAT was funny!


  145. Craig Jensen

    Actually what you see Gomez doing at the 3:00 mark is whip out a camera – not a phone.

    Still, Marty had me ROF/LMFAO with this one.

    ‘Squirrel Busters’ are Bullies.
    Freaks doing the work of Mr David Miscavige.

    Pick either one, they both seem to be true…

  146. Jason, exactly. As LRH said (first told to me by Ron Miscavige, Snr), “The greatest pretense is the pretense that it’s not all pretense.”

  147. Mark-It’s always interesting how Marty and dm can do the same thing and the outcomes are completely different-anything from auditing to sprinkler tech. With dm death is constantly intended.

  148. I don’t know anything about dates of events, but didn’t DM up and move to Clearwater and leave the Int Base behind when Marty decided to hang in Clearwater?

  149. I had an admazing water fight with my neighbours this last week-end.
    It started with a dog dish of water…on a hot day. Absolutely true.

    Whatsgoingon?? Oh Summer. You got to love it!!

  150. Jethro Bodine

    Nice video Marty, couldn’t stop laughing. I have a feeling the “Squirrel Busters” will now add scuba masks to their standard uniform along with a head-mounted camera, like their could be any more cult like. I’m sure unemployed construction worker John Allender needed a shower anyways.

  151. Marty,
    I thought that was mighty nice of you to give them a little relief from the heat! The heat index in Corpus Christi was 97/105 degrees today, and it’s been relentless this summer. A cool spray must have felt wonderful!
    I’ll be out of the country for a few weeks, so signing off as an occasional poster for a while. Still here in spirit.

  152. Marty thanks for the laughs. It was the highlight of the day. We needed this. How about a soaker hose on your property line that is motion activated? It would keep them back a bit.

  153. Gary Morehead a.k.a Jackson


    So true!

    I’d say that was Marty’s way of flying his own ruds before he turned it into some good ol’ Sprit of Play like you say.

    This is priceless fun.

    And DON’T tell me not one of you “lurkers”, fence sitters, under the radar flyin sonza bitches wouldn’t of done the same after months and months of harassment!

    I was waiting for Chkita to walk into frame and take a good ol’ dump at their feet!

    Geeezus people! Relax a little!

    Just imagine munchkin on his appelbox seeing this video before he gets Allenders footage! He went witch hunting for sure!

    Probably spent the rest of the day strokin the copper rod!

    — Jackson

  154. Gary Morehead a.k.a Jackson

    Boooo Ya Mike!!!

    Boooo Ya!

    — Jackson

  155. This video is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. When you knocked his hat off and sprayed his face it looked like a scene from a comedy movie. Wetting his pants in the front and back made it look like he wet himself which was really hilarious.

    It looked as though they were on Marty’s property and after he sprayed them a few times they moved across the street and the spraying stopped.

    The asthmatic dwarf leading the C of $ with his insane orders is really creating an embarrassment. I have never seen anything like it.

  156. I’d like to know, I mean, what I’d like to know is, how did anyone manage to hold the camera steady while filming that, while laughing? I couldn’d’a … my favorite part is when the hat comes off … I mean, like what I mean is like WHAT HAT??!! ROSLFUAFS!! (Roll On the Sidewalk Laughing With My Feet Up In the Air Filming the Sky!!) “Documentary Team Hat??” No. “Scientologist Hat??” No. “Good Citizen Hat??” No. “SQB Hat??” No. OH!! OH!! I got it!! “Self-Squirrel Buster, Flow O Hat!!” (That one deserves to be washed off in an act of compassion that also cools them off on a hot day.)

    Seriously, the thing that amazed me was the look of indignation on the guy’s face, as if he really somehow thought he had some moral or ethical justification to be considered a friend, or as if to say, “enough is enough”. I really don’t think there’s any level of cognizance there that those a**holes should NOT be there at ALL, if any of the four of them had a shred of self-respect. I can vaguely understand that realities get be “led” to be very out-of-whack, hostile without reason, angry without cause, but self-degredation to this extent is a new one to me. Even the Flagellants during the Bubonic Plague had more justification.

    Well done to Marty on his quick action to prevent any of them from getting heat stroke. He should get an honorary EMS award for rescuing them.

  157. Bruce?

    “When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he’s dead.” “… a guy will tell you, ‘Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I’ve lost all those. I’m practical now. We’ve got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'”

    “You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a ‘solid citizen?’

    “There’s nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name.”

    “And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning.” — L. Ron Hubbard

  158. Not a hate comment but I would suggest you reserve you judgement on Marty until you’ve ‘walked a mile in his shoes’. Is the view good from the peanut gallery?

  159. Thanks Marty. That was a HOOT!

  160. They don’t!
    Marty very kindly helped to cool them off a bit and from the looks on their faces they didn’t appreciate it in the slightest!

  161. If it’s Bruce he’s not a troll he’s just got a history of banging heads with the group. It’s a point of out manners and out comm formula.

  162. Tony DePhillips

    That was friggin hillarious!!! I bet dm shit his pants on that one. The little midget probably burst a blood vessel.

  163. I think Marty should wash his car every day.
    By David Miscavige’s standards Marty is a major celebrity important enough to merit in a full documentary because ‘people listen to him’ 😉
    He can’t be seen driving a dirty car now can he?
    Someone should warn the film crew not to get in the way of their movie star next time.
    Celebrities can get a bit diva-like sometimes.

  164. LMAO Marty! Great video 🙂

  165. The vid was hilarious 🙂

    Next time have Mosey lob a few water balloons and back you up with a super soaker or a water bazooka.

    Then put out a water slide for them to play on….for the duration.

  166. Somehow reminds me of this nice scene from Weird Al’s movie UHF:

  167. I just laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed!
    Marty — that was the best! Good on you!

  168. scilonschools

    Tory i know you have experienced Scientology ‘spray’ when protesting outside Gold, and both of us have witnessed the CoM use of ear splitting ‘white noise’ (mine was outside St Hill East Grinstead last years IAS against less than 10 very peaceful protestors!)
    It is amazing how hypocrtical the CoM is when it comes to reaceful and non harrassing protest blocking tactics in relation to sustained personal attacks as SQB productions in IOB!!

  169. A classic example of matching tonelevel.

    As I have said before, saying yes to an interview with these dm db clones would be much much more fun.

  170. Oh, darn it, Mike. I love a good wager but my horse isn’t in the race. Pinholer’s in the can! And with his rap sheet, I don’t know that he’ll be eligible to ever run again.
    Not a good day for me.

  171. Welcome to PT, Goons – it’s a lorra fun, ain’t it? No harm done or meant.
    Now we can all shake hands and GO HOME!

    And it’s LFBDs all round please, guv.

  172. And, Jeez, how motivator-hungry do you have to be to ride up to harass someone with a garden hose in his hand? Uhhh, didn’t see that one coming….

    Ass-ender & Kramden: here’s a tip: if you do decide to press charges EVERY single person who has anything to do with the case will have one thought in mind:


    (Sounds like a generality, in this case it will be true. ; )

  173. Any ideas?

  174. Marty,
    Myself, I’ll take a bucket full of luck before a semi-truck full of skill any day of the week.
    I think you’ve got both working for ya.
    An uncannily good sense of timing. You have proven out that they are who you’ve said they are and backed by who you said. All that’s documented and in the public domain.
    So I agree—why not have a little fun? (I get the craziest picture of one of them getting a rinse in the face while yakking incessantly—perhaps you broke a circuit or two.)

    Thanks for sharing!

  175. The spray of liquidass is clear and looks excellent on a golf cart. This could help be “in-exchange” with giving back shit after having gotten shit.

  176. “Probably spent the rest of the day strokin the copper rod!”

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s as funny as the video, Jackson!!

  177. I agree. How anyone could sit in that golf-cart and watch the goings on without bursting into laughter is beyond me. Come on Joanna. Are you sure you weren’t running off to suppress a little giggle? Whichever ‘side’ you’re on it’s funny.

  178. I bet even the ‘OSA’ personnel had to suppress the fact that they found it funny. Did you Phil? Shhhhh. Don’t let anyone know you have a sense of humour (British spelling of ‘humor’ for your benefit).

  179. The way I see it your honor. Marty was peacefully washing his car when this film crew came over wanting to interview him. I think there was something wrong with the hose Marty was using because every time he turned around to answer their questions he accidentally squirted them in the face. Maybe there was something wrong with the sprinkler attachment on the hose. Or maybe it wasn’t a good time – it’s hard to grant an interview with your fans wash your car at the same time.

  180. George M. White

    Very, very funny. You just tried to cool their ill-will. This is OK.

    Jataka 174 – Former lives of the Buddha Gotama:

    “A Monkey tormented with thirst walked up and down by a well looking for water. Seeing how thirsty the monkey was, the Buddha drew water from the well and filled the trough for him.
    The monkey drank, sat down near, and pulled a monkey grimmace to frighten the Buddha.
    The Buddha replied ‘Ah, you bad monkey, when you were thirsty and miserable I gave you plenty of water and now you make monkey-faces at me.
    Well, well help a rascal and you waste your pains’
    The spite-filled monkey replied ‘I suppose you think that’s all I can do. Now I’ll drop shit on you head before I go.
    As soon as the Buddha heard this, he got up to go. But at that very instant the monkey from the branch where he sat dropped it like a festoon upon the Buddha’s head, and then made off into the forest shrieking.
    The Buddha washed and went on his way.”

    The monkey was Devadatta who later tried to steal and corrupt the teachings of the Buddha.

    Much loving-kindness

  181. Just saw this incredible video. I remember LRH talking about the insouciance with which a true champion fights. He gave the example of Mohammad Ali boxing against opponents where he was actually playing with them in the ring, playing tag, patting him on the head. The true champion refuses to be serious. And there is nothing more demoralizing to an opponent, when the great one will not even take you seriously, but pounds you into the dirt chuckling all the while. This video is a great example of that. This is the best video of 2011.

  182. +1

  183. TheWidowDenk

    theoracle —

    You stated “It causes a mystery because there is something else to this that is a glue and I just keep trying to figure it out” regarding “DM’s long time fixation and must have / can’t have on Marty.”

    It sounds to me like missed withhold phenomena. I’ll leave it to our tech folks to confirm or refute. Rachel

  184. From this into waterboarding–no doubt! And maybe some Rolling Thunder for theatrics.
    OSA–Fire me a off a copy when it’s ready.

    You know there’s a special place on Ass-ender’s body where POB’s head belongs.

  185. TheWidowDenk

    AB —

    Sounds like it’s time for you to get the sippy cup. Wait … you better get a whole bunch of them as long as you are sharing this video with family, friends and coworkers. Rachel

  186. Holy god that is hilarious!!! Perfect handling! There’s no way those guys are going to hang in there being humiliated like that. I think we’re about to see the turnover rate increase in the SQB squad. Either that, or they’re going to start wearing goggles and rain coats.

  187. It’s John Ass-Enders by a nose. A shitty brown nose!

  188. I’ll hold the camera.

  189. Yvonne Schick

    I remember once in Clearwater when Anonymous was protesting. The church started power washing the side of the Fort Harrison so the spray would douse the protesters.

  190. That made me throw up in my mouth.

  191. Kind of feel sorry for the mighty ex DEA agent doing senior citizen cult babysitting and being chased away with Spray from a garden hose … I truly wonder what his children and grandchildren will think. Hows he going to get a real job when this is done, who will take him seriously? I especially loved that look at Marty “don’t play these childish games” just before he ran away. Like Stalking someone in front of their home for 2-3 months with a couple of senior citizens in a golf cart isn’t childish?

  192. Yvonne Schick

    Funny, cute, insouciant, playful! Marty, I LOVE the way you think. It was fun for us and I hope it was 100x as much fun for you.

  193. Lisa Hamilton

    Mark and I loved it and thought it was VERY funny! It is so sad that they are being soooooo serious about a water fight! Man, we are here filling up our water balloons and getting our squirt guns ready! How FUN!!!!

  194. Lisa Hamilton

    Mark and I were laughing through the whole thing! We wanted to join in and have some fun too. Too bad those people are soooo down tone!

    Man, we are here filling up water balloons and loading up our squirt guns – we are ready for action!

    How fun!

  195. LOL

    This is my first comment to this blog though I have benefited from reading here for many a year. Two years? As a result I had the courage to take my first upward bridge steps in thirty years (with an independent auditor).

    I admire the “move” and spirit of play. If I were a “”Buster” and you sprayed me like that, I would crack up with laughter, and then pack my bags and leave, my chains dissolved.

    Go well, all of you, game-makers and game-players!


  196. Oh, I called them names.

    I definitely called them names.

  197. That is the least Marty should have done to these cult zombies. They need to be hosed off with more than just water. Not sure what I would do after month and month of being stalked outside my home. It’s like looking out my window seeing the walking dead every morning.

  198. theoracle,
    Here’s my guess as to the why for Miscavige’s fascination with Marty.

    Miscavige secretly, waaaaay down deep under all the overts and withholds and service facs and evil purps…way down there, a little voice is telling him that Marty has the Ethics presence and the auditing skill to set him free. And waaaaay down deep, miscavige does want to be free.


  199. Here ya go, Jackson. A quickie fer ya!

    Strokin the Copper Rod

    I’m reminded of a time,
    when I saw it all unwind.
    The best laid plans,
    of mice and men.
    From a reptilian mind,
    began to wear thin.

    There was anger in the streets,
    Over what could have been.
    But not one amongst them,
    stood without sin.
    So the choice became ageless;
    it was to go with God.
    And leave the lizard,
    strokin his copper rod.

  200. there is just something REALLY satisfactory about marty spraying them with water…. they soooo deserve it…..

  201. Marty – I am just astounded at your accuracy with that water hose. I know when I wash my car the water sprays everywhere.

  202. video working for me as well

  203. That was cool. Two things:

    1. I’d love to see/hear a version with the original audio, if it’s useable.

    2. I’d love to see the whole neighborhood hosing these guys next time…

  204. OMG, every time I tried to take a breath, you would spray someone if the face, crotch, or butt and I would start making that wierd, laughing to hard sound in front of my co-wokers who have never heard me make that sound. Wanting to see what was making me laugh so hard, I showed them the video and now there are about 5 people here reading you blog. Note to self, Marty’s video posts can cause laughing induced belly achs, and decreased levels of work productivity. I hope I dont look that stupuid getting sprayed with a hose!

  205. Marty,

    Why not try finding a platoons worth of 10 year olds and giving them some balloons and the hose…

    Just a thought.

  206. Tom Gallagher

    Marty- Do we now have another nick-name for POB’s merry band of OT H8s?!?!


  207. Gary Morehead a.k.a Jackson

    Mr. Poet,

    We have to arrange some good hang time together!!

    One cool Dude!

    — Jackson

  208. mrinder
    I really wonder if they would actually try to press any kind of charges. If they did they would be opening themselves up to inspection for their activities. One would think it likely that they would have to explain what they were doing there in the first place, and since there is already ample evidence of harassment, and no actual “crime”, I think it would contribute nicely to their undoing. I think they would be very unwise to open that “Pandora’s Box.”
    But then again it is David Miscavige running the “op”, and since he has no concept of “cause and effect”, he is likely quite capable of such stupidity. He apparently has no sanity or intelligence left, but damn, he will do ANYTHING to protect his frail ego.

    Eric S

  209. Nice Rich, very nice.

  210. Tom G,
    Technically HOSE-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. (That’s the hosee running eeeeeeeeeee all the way home, which apparently is the middle of the cul-de-sac, which means butt of bag by the way.)

  211. Swedish Girl
    Jes having a little fun
    from Norwegian Girl

  212. Maybe dm wants an unnaturally close relationship wtih Marty, but had to settle for TC

  213. Ziba Feulner

    LOL!!! I Hope you washed some of their sins away, Marty!

  214. Oh Man! that was beautiful Marty!!!!!!

  215. OMG I have not laughed this hard in years. Thx for making my day!!! My son watched this as well nd he was peeing his pants.

    Insouciance at its best.

  216. In the late 90’s, POB and M&M were forced to “hang” in Clearwater due to the Lisa McPherson case, a problem which POB was “source” for! This lasted for years, no one moved there.

  217. Wahoo!!! Very well done!
    Welcome to the group. Lovely to hear your voice.

  218. I wonder if the squad will show up next time in rain ponchos with goggles and galoshes and an underwater camera.

  219. “Probably spent the rest of the day strokin the copper rod!”
    Jackson your killing me with your quotes…..priceless.
    Marty you should send your water bill to POB…..priceless video
    Everyone please take the time to study the body language of these four ass clowns. If this is the state of OT, count me out. Not one man with any starch in the bunch. They melted in the hot Texas sun with Marty’s confront.

    I take back everything I ever said about wimpy point guards.

  220. Thanks Jim. (I hope to train in your course-room someday.

  221. Claudio Lugli

    I must agree with Steve: this video is the BEST VIDEO of 2011. It will be up for the Indi’s Oscars…


  222. TroubleShooter

    I have wondered the same thing when I’ve seen his postings…YOU’RE NOT ALONE HELMUTH!!! YOU HAVE FRIENDS VERY CLOSE TO YOU WHO ARE POSTING HERE TOO!!!

  223. TroubleShooter

    SOMEONE has to acknowledge your comment Mike – it was too funny to let go by without one!!! lol

  224. Happy BeeDay Jim! 😀

  225. Centurion~I got this idea too. I can see it now! LMAO

  226. Scientology went wrong when “individual Scientologists” decided it was the panacea for everything… an inconsistency since “there are no absolutes.”

    (applause) 🙂

  227. Loved it. These guys don’t have a clue. Run back to Davey and ask him what to do now. Sad … what happened to the group I once knew… embarrassing.

  228. one of those who see

    Hi Rich!! Welcome!! Wonderful news about your continuing up the bridge in the Indie field!!

  229. jason beghe, these crackers will NEVER GET IT. They will only become more solid. Spirit of Play does not exist around them!

  230. Love this! 🙂

  231. top of the vale

    Finally a reply the squirrel nutcases can understand. Was that Fallendar in front? Honest to God, this was the funniest response to their b.s. I have seen since I can remember!
    And you, Marty, you accomplished it with such aplomb! Great TRs, holding your own and turning this lurkingness into a musical comedy!


  232. Welcome Richard Fox, the best to you.

  233. Tory Christman

    Watching Eyes,
    Did you read my “charges” (Sitting in an empty Red Santa’s Chair for 2 seconds) was one of them. How was *that* illegal? It was not. But the chair was in front of gigantic bushes they’d placed outside of the old bank building on the corner (now theirs). Behind those gigantic bushes …were doors…thus they said I violated their “injunction” …”Cannot block a door to C of $ builidings”. COME ON. See what I mean? They will use ***anything*** and have proven with AnonSparrow they’ll make up crap, and totally go to court with it. Thankfully, he won…we know of others who have not. That’s why I suggested Marty check with the local cops—I know it’s not his style, or even “Texas Style”…but why waste money in legal, is my view. It IS Hysterically funny……don’t get me wrong! I’m still laughing at it today, having watched it more than once. Best 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  234. Tory Christman

    I figured out what it is for C of $:
    THE EP FOR OT 9:
    They’re reached it!

    Note: One of the Feshback’s died of a Heart attack. I’ve said it for 11 years:
    ((I am NOT kidding on this one, to lurkers…get OUT!)) TLC

  235. A shot of water at the butt and crotch..

    How can anyone not laugh?

    Repeated blast of water in the face.


  236. After they have had thousands of hours of not having their F/Ns indicated when they were feeling good and happy and only indicated when they are caved in, They have been conditioned to suppress laughing and smiling, particularly when there is something fun and happy to laugh about.
    Major rewiring is needed-it has to be done on a gradient-I think if Marty did something like this everyday-he could vary it with frisbee throwing and Chiquta being involved, til they can play. Of course, someone like Allender is NCG-we can’t expect anything there. Just a wild and crazy thought.

  237. Thanks Sam. I am a great admirer of your spirit and sense of fun.

  238. Mike,
    My thoughts too! These guys call themselves Seal Team 6 and they can’t handle a little water from a hose…???

  239. Sara Finning

    brilliant! Gosh, those church bods sure do take themselves seriously, don’t they? My grandfather tells the story of how at Christmas time, during World War II when he was stationed in France, the allied troops called a ceasefire and they played football (soccer) against each other. Germans on one side and allied troops on the other side….

    And the next day it was business as usual, but for that one day they had fun….

  240. Thanks ootws, For your welcome and encouragement.

    The person who audited me is independent rather than an Independent. He is in a class of his own! Masterful auditor. 🙂

  241. Tory Christman

    Oh yes…….I have re the spraying out at Gold (For those who don’t know…they turn on their sprinklers, wasting TONS of water as it goes way out into the street, while we are picketing). Yes….the same re that disgusting noise (I wouldn’t call it “White noise” as that is usually balanced, that I know of). This is horrific sounding, blasting high pitched (so it actually hurts your ears) sort of death-like droning, very high pitched blasting organ sounds I think. It’s true—they are extremely abusive to peaceful picketers, and abusive to people like Marty and Mosey–just living in their home. I’m amazed that continues.

    Here in Burbank the cops would kick them out, or ticket them. Come on over, OSA>>>Give it a shot HERE. I dare ya to. My neighbors alone would kick your asses, and YOU know it. And media is 2 blocks away—-LOL! Have you tried getting the media on this, Marty, in your local area? Schools? Churches? (Bad PR they hate, as you know). You could “Demonstrate” to schools and churches the dark side of a cult…right in your home town. My bets, Tory/Magoo

  242. I wish they had joined in. How lovely that would have been to see.

    This is comedy gold, Marty, you cheeky scamp. 🙂

  243. Tom Gallagher

    Ah! MOQ, spoken as a proper Canuck!

  244. Tom Gallagher

    Tell Sally I said Hello.


    you SB’s are the gift that keeps on giving NEWS coverage!

  246. And you know what …. that darn hose just got away from me, as I had my attention distracted by the nonsensical, illogical comments of the by-sanders.

    How could anyone think otherwise.

    Good job, well done, ear to war VGI’S here. Better know as ROFLMAO. Let me know the next time you intend to wash, you know you have to empty the suds bucket often. Oh, BTW I have poor and wear glasses.

  247. Marty I’m still laughing and watching this over and over.

    Was that a neighbor watching the fun sitting on the back of his truck on the left? Might indeed get a neighborhood water fight organized. A..holes could get caught in the cross fire and if there just happened to be some extra hoses lying around for anyone to pick up?

    Marty can you set up a basket on your property line and shoot some hoops? Little d would hate that and you might get some -one on one-.

    Oh I just realized John Assclown is playing one year old hide and seek with his hand over his face. I bet on him first.

    Keep up the Spirit of Play.

  248. Thanks Marty. I hope you enjoyed this as much as we have.

    BTW. This is what I “heard”.

    Marty: “Hey guys do you mind stepping back a little while I wash the car, I wouldn’t want to get any water on you.”

    Squirrel Busturd 1: “We have a legal right to be he, so tough.”
    Squirrel Busturd 2: “Yeah, don’t tell us what to do, squirrrrreeellll”
    Squirrel Busturd 3: “You think we are going to jump in front of your hose or something? ah Ha Haaaaaaaa.

    Splash Splash Splash pants Splash face Splash “What the $%&*#” Splash face Splash Splash “Stop it you… Splash….. Marty” Face Splash Splash Splash Splash

    as world wide audience laughs their guts out.

  249. I’ll empty the wash bucket, I have poor aim & wear glasses, no telling who’ll get hit with the dirty suds. Suds for the SUDS ,S – squirrely, U- un-informed, D – DM, S – snakes.

  250. Marty, I am tired of this sh** and I am tired of you.

    My Grandmother has been in town visiting us and getting to see her 5 month old Great Grandson Milo. So I have not been able to log on for very long, the last 36 hours.

    I logged on yesterday for a few minutes and there was nothing to read, just a video about a Car Wash. Well, I decided that “it could wait”, until later.

    So, today, just now I am sitting here and decided to check out the video.

    I was at the 01m 04s part. I have not even made it passed that part yet.

    When suddenly, SPlooooooshhhhh

    I spit my Crown and Seven all over my Macbook Pro.

    Marty, you owe me $1437.84.

    I let the first 3 times go.

    But, I am sick of this crap.

    No more!

    I can not afford to keep replacing and repairing my computers after the short circuit, because you decide to put these kooks and goof balls on to your website.

    This is terribly unfair and unacceptable and it needs to stop.

    Sorry Marty, but just like David Mismanage & the Church of Kooks-n-Goofballs,

    I must now throw my retarded suit/complaint into the ring.

    We can still be friends Marty, but I am still gonna sue your @$$.

    Nothing personal, but you need to be held responsible for the content on your website.

    At least a freaking warning.

    I must help anyone else who may be having a drink while clicking on your blog.


    Bed Man in OKC & Attorney

  251. I first saw this last night and I’m still laughing about it.

  252. Holy ShIt, this is the funniest effing thing I have ever seen.

    The music set to it.

    The fact you kept giving the guy an enema.

    The look on their faces when you sprayed them was f*cking priceless.

    Hey, if you get arrested, just show the judge the video, they didnt have any water and it is hot as hell, tell them you were trying to cool off the “cattle”.

    That their owner David Mismanage was not taking care of them and you felt you needed to step in..

    PS: Im still suing you

  253. Not sure what you are talking about Pazooter.

    Clearly what happened was that Marty went to wash his / friend’s vehicle. Being the observant chap he is, he noticed that several gentlemen standing in the hot Texas sunshine had become dangerously overheated and dehydrated. Realising that swift and decisive action was called for he lightly and carefully doused those afflicted in a cooling spray of fresh water, thus almost certainly preventing a tragedy.

    I can’t quite make out what is being said on the video, but I would guess that one of the gentlemen who was about to pass out from heat exhaustion has realised what deadly danger he was in and is thanking Marty profusely. If fact, he is so overcome with gratitude, his eyes tear up and his upper lip begins to tremble. Spotting this, Marty gently washes away his tears so as to avoid this gentleman from being embarrassed in front of his ‘colleagues’.

    This perfectly illustrates the difference between a truly compassionate person such as Marty and those still stuck in the cult.


  254. Paz Cooter, would you like your Kool Aid Red or Blue?

  255. Merci, Carol! 🙂

  256. Well done Seal Team Six, you have survived the Waterboarding technique and didn’t give up any info.

  257. Tory Christman

    Double note: The info re the Feshback dying came from a “reliable source”…but until posted –The person who said it cannot say their name, so maybe leave that out…as I don’t have a written source. If he did, my sorrow to their family. To those “in”:: Good Gawd: GET OUT NOW.
    Even IF he did not…….Good Gawd: GET OUT NOW!

  258. Tory Christman

    I **love*** the music in this, too. Not only is it VERY funny—-the music
    rocks. Good choice! TLC

  259. More like a metaphorical Jizz

  260. Richard-I’m so glad you are getting auditing and it sounds like this blog was an inspiration in doing so, even though we may be a little silly here.

  261. You’ve got style Ax. Would love to meet you in person. How about sometime around October? 🙂

  262. TheWidowDenk

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: GET A SIPPY CUP. Do not sit down at your computer without it! It can be hazardous. Rachel

  263. TheWidowDenk

    Welcome Richard! Really nice to meet you and have you on board. Enjoy the ride! Rachel

  264. Hubbardianen

    Humor is the right way. This was funny.

  265. Ralph for sure.
    Ralph is a closet 1.5. He’s barely got it under control. He wants to punch Marty so bad he can taste it (but he’ll get in trouble with the boss if he does).
    The rest of ’em are in apathy. Too many years drinking the Koolaide. You’d have to light a firework up their asses to even get a response.
    Ralph is probably the highest toned so I’m going with you on this one Mike.
    Let’s see (someone pass the popcorn!)

  266. Good point Sam.

    That Texas heat must be tough on the SB Seal Team 6 folks.

  267. You’re so cute Les

  268. Impartial English Girl

    Oh, wow. That was genius! I have had SUCH a rotten day and that video cheered me up no end! – Best way of dealing with dirty germs is to wash them away.

    On a more serious note, I have observed MANY times that what nasty, evil types of any sort really CANNOT stand is being laughed at. As soon as you laugh at a bully they cease to become quite so threatening.

    I particularly liked the aiming of the water jet to suggest incontinence… 😀

    Thanks for the laugh Mr. Rathbun and the Squirrel-Busters (new rock group?!) – I really needed it today!

    IEG xx

  269. h. alan scott fitzgerald jones


    yea for marty!

  270. Thanks. Somehow I got it in my head Marty was there training before and had settled in there on some training cycle. But I was not on lines during all of this time so I wouldn’t really know.

  271. Encore, Marty. As Christie said…that’s you at your best. Now that you wet the surrogates I look forward to you and David M duking it out with hoses and water balloons.

  272. Thanks, Sam. I was sniffing pazooter’s Troll-pheromones and it indicated to my villager’s nose as being a Troll-like critter un-gracing our humble abode. I think Mike also got a whiff. 🙂

  273. Assender for me! 🙂

  274. Still laughing………

  275. It IS very troll-like I’ll give you that and it’s come up before. I completely disagree with Bruce jumping in and throwing his weight around. But like I said, I know Bruce and I don’t believe he’s a troll. He uses his real name for a start. But I will re-iterate once more to Bruce – you need to keep your manners in coming into a new group. No-one is obligated to give you the benefit of the doubt nor do you have the right to demand it. If you burst in the front door with make-wrongs on ANY member of this group you’re going to get shot down in flames. Fact.

  276. Bruce – try making some positive comments from time to time or validating other people who contribute on the blog. Then work up to constructive criticism once we know who you really are.

  277. Blonde Norwegian Viking girls just wanna have fun! 😉 – Go Ingrid!!

  278. Beautiful CB.

  279. Wow 🙂
    I want to see this one unfold!

  280. You mean Marty’s Baptismal service doesn’t do the trick? 🙂

  281. “This is Marty at his best.”
    I completely agree. It’s fun to watch Marty play 🙂

  282. Welcome Richard to best of your life! May you never be the same and you get to be just you. 🙂


  283. LOLOLOL!!! Let’s start an office pool on what they will wear next time! 🙂

  284. ROLFMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (as a suggestion to your hydro/royal/seven expulsions… get a clear drop cloth and put it on the laptop) (that’ll be $29.95 for the suggestion! 🙂 )


  285. Scott, they’re not cats, they’re pussies! Big difference. Just sayin… 🙂

  286. Watching Eyes

    I remember reading about you being charged for sitting in Santa’s chair, at the time it happened. Even at that time I thought the cult must have an inside line with the legal/justice system in Pinellas County. It was totally insane.
    But I doubt they’ve got an inside line in Corpus. And they sure didn’t do very well in Miami last week, did they. Clearwater is probably bought & paid for and maybe Hemet too. The rest of the country, not so.

  287. Tory Christman
    This is the article about Joe Feshbach.

    My blessings to all family and friends,
    Tory Christman
    Aka: Magoo

  288. Richard, I’m very glad for you!

  289. This could just be the $100,000.00 winner for “America’s Funniest Home Videos”. I think you should submit it. 🙂

  290. I love that story Sara. It bears testament to the strength, love and basic goodness of the being.
    Here’s the full story:

  291. I wouldn’t trade my macbook for all the toughbooks in the world. Get a sippy cup and stop complainin’. Apply Danger Formula fully to the situation to prevent said reckless damage to your electrical appliances. You’ve only got yourself to blame – you really should know better by now.

  292. I just found out about Joe Feshback and I believe he was only 56-Didn’t he get superpower?

  293. Baptism does not work on the demon-possessed.

  294. Yup…all kidding aside, that really is pretty funny!
    I am also amazed that the camera person could hold the camera so still under the circumstances…. It was on something solid,right?
    Great laugh…
    Thank you Marty…
    Gotta love a guy who knows how to play.

    Eric S

  295. The latest leaked video from the Squirrel Busters Training Camp shows Mr. Ed and his colleagues hard at work:

  296. A cross and a stake through the heart would-Well that would get us in trouble.

  297. Sam-I think Joanne ran off because she felt she didn’t qualify for the wet t-shirt contest .

  298. top of the vale

    “The surest way to get nowhere in life is to be serious about it!”

    – L. Ron Hubbard, in “Your sensation about living” article
    R & D Volume 11

  299. Another Layer

    Ax – Too funny!!! Love the compassionate cooling.

  300. Good Guess, Les.

  301. Tory Christman

    Good point, Watchful Eyes. I’m not sure… but I can say the more
    you educate your local public, police, churches, schools about the
    literally covert ops of the phony “church” of $cientology, make any
    and ALL police reports on ANYTHING harmful they do, the faster
    they shall be brought to their knees. Also, PLEASE if you have
    money on account in C of $: Get it back. It’s yours. Get it.
    Love to you and ALL 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  302. Tory Christman

    I’m not sure, Ingrid. I thought they both (he and Matt) FSM’d for Super
    Power, and thus both got it. Did he? Please someone who knows for
    sure confirm or not. Thanks 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  303. The three brothers were supposed to get superpower, but only Matt did:

    RIP Joe.

  304. Tom Gallagher

    Mosey and Marty,

    I am still laughing………………

    Line charging …………..

  305. Sinar,

    Fascinating article.

    5 YEARS AGO, Ben Shaw, the official spokesperson of the church said:

    “Super Power is ready, he said, and 300 staff members are being trained to deliver it.

    “Scientology leaders have been compelled to redesign the building’s interior repeatedly to make it a crown jewel.

    “The Super Power program will be ready to go the moment the new building is completed, he said. Scientology officials promise that will be 2007.”

    How many lies can you pack into a signle story? To be sure, the verbal and written statements of Ben Shaw came from the mouth of POB. Why the gullible sheeple keep buying anything this guy says is astonishing. Five years of lies. They have collected 3 times as much money as the building cost, and they ARE STILL SUCKING MONEY OUT OF PEOPLE FOR IT!

  306. Tom Gallagher

    There are Gods in heaven.

  307. I knew Joanne and in her day, late teens, and she would have made the major leagues in the wet t-shirt contests. But now she’s my age.

  308. What I see in this video and read on the blog is classic games condition, and all that goes with it.

  309. It is totally amazing how many lies per inches of press POB puts out!

    I’m sure they’ve collected far beyond what fees owed to the City of Clearwater that they’re trying to weasel out of and lie about:

  310. Dear GMW,
    Yes I get the reference to David-Devadatta. Very pertinent.

  311. Glad to have you aboard Richard.

  312. Watchful Navigator

    Cowboy Poet-
    Awesome. Love that poem.
    Simple, short, and spot on.
    I’m the anger in the streets and I’m going with God.

  313. Exactly right Sinar.
    Marty has it in him to turn “travesty” into triumph….
    With the grace and brilliance of Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr.
    Universally Tone is up…times have changed….today the tide has changed…
    Those lives gone… were given to assure it.
    Almost fun. Almost done…
    Where’s the future going?? Correct!

  314. Hey Marty, why don’t you employ your own version of “sprinkler tech” and install some sprinklers around your house? 😉

  315. John “showing-his-ass”-ender would be my pick.

    But you have to watch Marty, he seems to have a short fuse. 🙂

  316. “The way they twist and distort and edit the footage they shoot, this will be turned into an attempted drowning… ”

    You never know, they may say Marty tried to get them wet so they would get pneumonia. 🙂

  317. Maybe DM wants to be the man that Marty is …… but that he can never be ….

  318. Come to think of it ….. I think I’m seein’ an E/S for DM on that chain ….

  319. Let’s look at this on the positive side.

    They probably needed a shower anyway.

    Having their head up David Miscavige’s ass can have that effect 🙂

  320. Tory Christman

    Here’s another article about Joe:
    May he FLY HIGH and love to his family and friends.

  321. If ever I saw a red flag in this mess it is DM’s willingness to let the Church fall under in his quest to dominate Marty. That is a real situation.

  322. Because I think it is an unattainable goal.

  323. Absolutely brilliant. This made my day and I’m sure it made yours Marty. You deserve a laugh. In a very non-violent way you gave them some of their own medicine. That’s the very least they deserve. If they want to turn up day after day harassing, knowingly making other people’s life diffiCULT then they have to put up with the consequences.

  324. Hello Ingrid,

    When I decided I could not any longer do Radical CofS, it was still a long jump and took many years to trust that I could get excellent auditing elsewhere. Reading on the Internet was key and Marty’s blog was and is quite addictive. Yes, this blog was an inspiration.

    I remember seeing your first post and admiring that you had been auditing independently for decades. I continue to rate your opinion highly.

    What originally made Scientology sticky for me were all the excellent people I met who were Scientologists. One knew that those excellent people were independent thinkers. One put up with the “culty” bits (but never agreed with them) as it was obvious that the subject could engender independent thinking and many people gained more freedom through its application.

    Wow, I look forward to reconnecting with more and more old friends over the coming months and years.

    I really support the freedom of religion and the right of people to choose their religion and form their own beliefs. That includes the freedom of people still members of the CofS to remain in that church. I recognise their right to communicate with me or not. I wrote to an old old friend many months ago explaining that I was finished with the CofS. I respected our friendship enough to give him the chance to gracefully disconnect from me. And this he did. I look forward to a continuation of this friendship at some future time. We remain friends I am sure, only disconnected.

    Lovely to get your message, Ingrid.

  325. Thank you, Rachel. I feel in good company. 🙂

  326. Thank you for the welcome, Gary. And thanks for the blessings.

    We Irish have a blessing and I wish it for you: May the road rise to meet you. (Or my preference and more literal: The way of the road to you.)

  327. Thank you, Luis.

    I gained from reading your A Letter From Garcia. Thank you for that.

  328. Thank you, Tonearmdown.

    I never did give up my licence to think for myself and communicate.

  329. Theo Sismanides

    Hahaha, Marty! That was good! Loved the song too!!! Tone 45, man!

  330. Helmuth, speaking for Boskone

    Sorry, not the Helmuth you are looking for. It’s from E.E. Smith’s Lensman series.

  331. These squirrel bastards are exactly what they call themselves. They just misspelled it a little on their t-shirts.

  332. A step in the right direction, Marty. Upgrade to a 100 psi fire hose and they might get the message.


  333. Since this Tater is half-Irish, I would gladly walk that road with you.

    Happy trails!

  334. Would love to Sam.

    Let me know when – Martin has got my contact details.


  335. Same here, that was so completely hysterical! I didn’t have the sound on which made it funnier! Loved the way you handled that Marty!

  336. I am sure that Mis-cabbage will need a cooling down also once he sees that video! 🙂 I am still giggling just thinking about it.

  337. My thoughts exactly, Marty’s version of “sprinkler tech”!!

  338. +1 but Marty’s a really good shot with the hose, he’s not wasting water with inaccurate spraying in areas where water is not needed! My first impression was “Marty’s good with the water hose” and two “Sprinkler tech, Marty style”. Shows why Marty was DM’s number 1 or 2 guy for so long, he hits his targets quick and thoroughly.

  339. Marty, this is Khan Khan production resume material.

    I shared this with scholars, and look forward and will relay to you their reactions.

    In Scientology history, this is cutting edge history.

    As juvenile as official Scientology (David Miscavige’s junior high school level humor) is, your effective and accurate response with the water hose, just is SO cutting edge!

    While I’d myself try ARC and KRC, you Marty, you are in such a huge other class of ex top leader, you know what you can do, you know that Gomez is not going to come jump you, and you saw it in the first time you got Allender right in the face.

    Good for YOU, you know their limits, and you know they are NOT going to go crazy on you and do something dramatic.

    Lebow must be getting some serious shit from Miscavige on this.

    This video is deserving of video of the year! Thankyou

    I think everyone who sees this can appreciate this! And you have damn good aim!!!!

    Only you could do this, know they weren’t going to go nuts and go crazy on you!

    It looks to me like you just sprayed old David Miscavige right in the puss!

    Good frikking aim Marty!

  340. I bet the OSA bots play it at night when they are alone and laugh their asses off. Then dream they are spraying DM with a hose AND LOVING IT!

  341. Andrew Moore

    You show an incredible amount of restraint, and I mean that sincerely. Another man would be tempted to spray something a little heavier in their direction, from the business end of something double barreled.

    And they look like complete idiots, again. You manage to chase them off with a water hose? They’re merely pests. Miscavige is weak.

    When we left the church, when my wife and I realized the church couldn’t hurt us — well, it was a bit like going release. There is nothing to fear from these paper tigers, and I hope more and more of the people lurking realize that.

  342. Eileen Clark

    put a sock in it and go away
    or, we’ll get you next with the hose-eeeeeeeeeeee

  343. Hose 5 – Squirrel buster 0

  344. It is quite funny thank you

  345. Pingback: Allender and Miscavige: Peas in a Botox, Roids Pod | Moving On Up a Little Higher

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