Daily Archives: April 3, 2011

Birthday Game Smoke and Mirrors

By Mike Rinder

This segment of the event is a study in the hardest outpoint to spot: Omitted Data.

First omitted.  Guillaume Lesevre used to be introduced as ED Int. Then it became “from International Management” after he had been removed from post.  Now he is just “Mr. Guillaume Lesevre.” Miscavige only tolerates him being in the same event because he doesn’t want to stoop to handing out awards to Missions and orgs (he doesn’t mind doing it to the Platinum Gluteus Maximas who provide his vacation trip/party/meal/tailor/manicurist allowance).  What’s it going to be next year?  “Please don’t clap, here’s Lesevre to hand out the stupid awards.”

Second omitted.  The LRH Birthday Game. They don’t mention achieving St Hill size so all staff earn a decent wage and can go OT with the Universe Corps – that IS the LRH Birthday Game and what he told all staff he wanted in LRH ED 339R.  Today its ONLY Ideal Orgs, and that means “Ideal Buildings” (in fact, in many cases, they are FAR from “ideal” as described by LRH – badly located, requiring massive renos, too expensive). Listen to the Shermanspeak sleaze:  “These orgs play to reach LRH’s target and so become Ideal, at which point civilization changes and destiny is guaranteed.”  Almost sounds like LRH’s target it to become Ideal.  Or, “the only sure route to a wide open road to OT is Ideal Orgs.”

Third omitted. ANY new orgs or missions. The numbers of orgs and missions remains the same, year after year, after year.  Yet, Miscavige’s grandiose description of the “Ideal Org” strategy talks about the orgs replicating themselves – establishing groups and missions in their field and these then growing and becoming new orgs. And there are NO new ones. In fact, Lesevre gives the following stats.  “175 Orgs. 488 Missions. Better than 6,000 IHELP groups, social betterment and humanitarian programs.”  Apart from those stats for orgs and missions never changing, its about 1400 short of the “more than 8,000” that Miscavige and Tommy Two-tone keep announcing (while at the same time asserting the church has “no connection and nothing to do with” an Applied Scholastics school getting negative media near the new “Ideal Org” in Melbourne.” ) Its 2400 short of the 9,000 they now have on the Scientology website:  “Over 9,000 Scientology Churches, Missions and affiliated groups exist in 165 nations, four times in just ten years.” [That IS what it says, I didnt mistype it].  

Fourth huge omitted. Actual stats are few and far between. It’s all smoke and mirrors.  

Belleair next to Flag is the EUS champion mission again – for the fifth time. By now it should be at least 100 staff and 500 WDAHs. Look at the picture of the staff — all 10 of them.

Kaoshuing is top mission in ANZO again. This IS a big Mission. There was a huge “Ideal Org” building bought for it a decade ago?  No mention (though they mention the buildings bought years ago for Capetown and other places).  Must have gone the way of Harlem and Battle Creek and some of the other over-hyped, never heard from since, PR dished out in earlier years.

South Coast Mission in WUS is the most expanding mission in the world. Check out the photo of the Mission staff. THAT is the most expanding Mission in the fastest growing religion on earth?

Toronto Fdn – the second place org winner in Canada. And the ONLY thing mentioned and shown is a drawing of how the outside of their “Ideal Org” will look.  NOT mentioned – they have had that org since the late 70’s!!! It is one of the buildings that LRH directed be bought by the Building Investment Committee. Still not renovated! Why? They don’t have the money! It used to be the biggest org in Canada. Now, you couldnt really explain THEIR failure on not having a big enough building?

Then we get the real sleazes, the Conts where they COMBINE the Day and Fdn “Cont orgs” and contrive them as “winners” – London, DC and LA Org are all sleazed with combined stats. And even then, the few stats they give are hardly impressive.  London got more than 5000 books in the hands of new public – that is 50 per org per week! And that is worth mentioning as one of the most impressive stats in the world of Scientology!  They show 40 staff in the photo of the London “winners”.  That’s one of the big, booming “Ideal Orgs” with a $20 million dollar building on a street with NO body traffic (hard to find a street without body traffic in London). DC gives NO stats, but they win the whole shooting match with “5X Book One hours” and “50X the number embarking on introductory routes” (whatever that means). 

Somehow in EU they imported a bunch of staff to Brussels (they never had more than 8 staff in Brussels org) and they “won” the game.  The proof of their production?  “They welcome more than 500 diplomats, ambassadors and VIPs to Introductory and Sunday Services.”  Intro and free Sunday Services are combined? I guess it gives a clue that all free services are now counted as “Intro Services” – so that probably means “someone looked at an Intro Video in the robot displays” is “a person introduced to Scientology and taking their first step on the Bridge.”  Of course, there is no mention of how many hours they deliver. 

The only org that really looks like it might be doing well is “Scientology Mexico” in Latam.  But the 2nd and 3rd place orgs only get a “building mention.”  But then again, this org and Roma are two recent “Ideal Orgs” so they are probably still staffed with SO member and imports from other orgs (until they have to move on to the next “Ideal Org”).

The SO Orgs are pretty sorry too.  AOSHEU’s big stat is that they “make a new OT every day” – but 7 completions per week on either OT 1, OT 2, OT 3, OT 4 or OT 5 (and that counts one “OT” for completion of the theory course and one for the completion of the solo auditing) isn’t much for an Advanced Org that services “13 time zones and 43 nations.” 

AOSHUK has the distinction of producing “more Power Releases than any other SO Org” (wow) and “extending the Bridge through OT Reunions and Ideal Org briefings.” 

CC Int (these may be the stats for CC Int in LA or the stats for the combined Celebrity Centers that collectively are also known as CC International) sounds pretty impressive with 3000 Basics Completions – but what that really means is 60 books read per week.  They also produced 48,000 hours of auditing (correct order of magnitude for a single Saint Hill size org) but only 1000 Releases. Really? 48 hours per release? Clearly they are not doing the “streamlined Grades” that you can get through in an intensive or two at Flag – because that is 5 Releases. Objectives? Book One? Unexplained and sounds like some pretty horrendous overrunning. Maybe they are bogging everyone waiting for that third swing?

Finally:  An incorrectly included.  Enforced butt kissing of “COB” that is required to be included in every winner’s speech. Yecchhh.