Monthly Archives: January 2013

My Story ~ My life within and without the church of scientology

by  Ronn Stacy, ‘Alaska Ronn’

It’s hard to know where to begin, and yea, long story.

I’ll start with a brief history pre- Scientology.  Drugs, Inc.  Youth gone awry, as too many  of us went 60’s & 70’s.  I did enjoy some of it, although who can remember why?  Spiritual enlightenment… Nirvana?  For me it became a spiritual quest in fact, Timothy Leary, Tibetan Book of the Dead, et al.  Several weeks of 1973, age 19, in and out of the likes of psychiatric reality, at the hands of family who were trying to save me from the drug culture.  Bless their hearts.  It took months, but I eventually realized the game, that the only way out was admitting they were right and I was wrong.

The whole affair was short lived but unfortunately necessary to tell the rest of my story.

That bit of life, far behind, thanks in no small way to L. Ron Hubbard’s discoveries, the Reactive Mind, the Purification Rundown, Scientology Drug Rundown and further rehab with Scientology studies and auditing.  I realized in an auditing session many years later, looking all this over, I was indeed fully responsible for that situation and my condition.  To me it was never that big of a deal except that I knew I had to come clean and deal with it before moving onwards as a Scientologist.

To be fair to myself, it wasn’t all just drugs and rock & roll.  I was quite able and productive, had become a Gov. certified weldor by age 18.  And for 7 years worked at such lofty positions as a weldor for the Naval shipyard in Pascagoula, putting together quarters (ships are built in quarters) of war ships the size of large office buildings, or welding locomotive frames and helicopter rides to offshore platforms in the Gulf.

Home from one of those young life adventures, a close friend handed me a copy of DMSMH by LRH.  Mid 70’s. I read enough to realize it was the road I had been looking for.  I realized about then too that peyote & naked hippie chicks did not equate to Nirvana; though at times close… what can I say.

So I threw away my flower power and found Scientology.  No Mission near me, so I found more LRH books in libraries, Dianetics 55, Science of Survival, The History of Man (right down my alley at that time…lol ).

By 1978 I had thought up a getaway, away from dead-end friends, the military of all things.  I figured it would get me away from the scene I had grown up around and put some structure and discipline in my life – my actual thoughts at the time.

During my induction in Chicago, the US Army gave me a choice, between MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) or choose your overseas destination.  Prior to the naked butt induction stations I had discovered Alaska was considered an overseas tour and that was my choice to the desk clerk, as I’m standing half-undressed he checked the box for “Alaska” and in the same sweep checks, “Infantry”.  Hooah!

Several very hot Kentucky summer weeks later, 27 mile hikes, crawling in mud, throwing hand grenades, a 60lb pack and after more advanced training, I found myself dropping out of a helicopter on a remote snow covered bitter cold mountain top in the Chugach Range, Alaska.  It was mid February , 1980.  At least I was back to good condition and finally getting somewhere in life… arctic survival training!

Later on that same year I found the Mission in Anchorage.  After walking around the block, contemplating, I walked in the front door.  My life within Scientology began, late 1980.  I did the Comm Course, then Book One, etc..  I became a local celebrity of sorts auditing a new person through her birth engram, and then blowing a local dentist through a chronic migraine, gone.  Scientology was changing my life, and between my studies and the work-a-day discipline of the US Army, I was surely gaining new ground.

A few months later (still Army for another 2 years) I joined Staff, early 81’.  The bookstore was in total disarray and not very well stocked.  I instant hatted as BSO, SS 0, I & II right off and a little later read through Big League Sales, by Les Dane.

I started selling books, a lot of books, reading and applying every LRH policy on book sales I could get my hands on and managed the book accounts and built up the stock with organized displays in short order.   Several months later I was promoted to PES.  Sometime late 81’ I took earned leave from the Army and went to FLAG for a Les Dane seminar, with Les himself no less!  Les recited the great story how Ron had called him to ok his book for the Church.  I still hadn’t had auditing by this point.

I completed several other services from 81 – 82’ at the Mission, as much as I could beg borrow and steal as a staff member.

Got my Life Repair auditing a year or so later, Student Hat, M-1, ITSE Crs., and sometime early 82’ finally started Bridge auditing ~ still full time Army.

Routing out my military obligation in July 1982, Honorable Discharge, with honors, including the Army Achievement Medal, I thought long and hard about re-upping but had become convinced my immortality was with the Church.

Leaving the military is remarkably similar to CSI leaving and leaves incidentally, including interrogations dependent clearances, medicos, registars (recruiters)… although sans sec checks.  Routing out of the military was then more or less hassle free though, a check list of station sign offs, except for one last butch haircut mandatory.

Shortly after I found myself at ASHO for The Hubbard Registar & Salemanship Course.  Full time training for about 2 months then, berthing with Sea Org at the complex with a half dozen snoring per small room.  No furniture, stuffing my suitcase under my bunk and eating cheese on white bread for lunch – at least it was free.

I graduated with an internship of sorts, regging for ASHO and LADay, and with honors from the CO ASHO.  I forget her name, but remember she was impressed I had got a new public to leave his Rolex watch with me while he went to get cash for his first course… .

Back to Anchorage, trained now to get Div 6 booming, more books sold, bodies in the shop, new starts continued all-time highs for a few months.  The small course room was packed.  The issue became keeping them, lost it seemed best known to God.  Where are all my new starts?  I’m not doing this for nothing!  So I went to Seattle to train as a Course Supervisor.

I want to shift for a moment and tell something of the transients we had in Alaska during the ‘80’s.

Several from those beginnings today still hold Executive posts inside the Church, a few went on to the Sea Org, and some are now interestingly enough, in the Independent Field.  A few more Indies remain nameless not yet in the open.  I can tell you there weren’t many mundane characters, we were there at the time on the same terms battling the forces of evil from all sides (including each other at times) to get Scientology into one of the more remote populations on the planet.

The players:

Bob Hamilton, original OTVII, E.D. the first Scientologist I ever met and Mission Holder during the 80’s, completed NOTS early 80’s.  Now PES at the Seattle Morgue last I heard.  I no longer hear from him after I told him recently he needed to wake up, though not in so few words.

Jerry Racheff, OTIII at the time (early 80’s), now OTVIII.  We became friends during those years, and even lived together during some harder times in Alaska.  Jerry is now the E.D. San Francisco FDN.

Jan Racheff – Silber, went to do her training through CL IV at FLAG early 80’s.  We were on staff together for several years in Alaska first half the 80’s.   Jan went on to become the E.D. of Mountain View Org. and moved on to marry Marc Silber.

Pat Parodi and Nancy Parodi, both OTVIII I believe and last I knew were still FSMing in the LA area.  I heard Nancy finished CLVI.  She was on staff in Alaska when I joined, Pat came up from LA in the early 80’s.  They moved on to LA mid 80’s.

Forrest Crane, OTIV, CLVIII  Forrest and I were on staff early 80’s, he audited my Grade I, then in ’83 thereabouts went to ASHO/AOLA to finish his training through CLVIII C/S.  He left contracted Mission staff and held his ground against joining other Orgs and years later made it, on his own dime no less, and came back to Anchorage in 1990 as a Permanent CLVIII to audit for the Mission – and did so beyond his 5 year contract.  After finishing his contract, he was excited about starting a field practice, but shortly came the Golden Age of Tech and his certs were no longer valid ??? and that he must retrain GAT, including all the new prerequisites – enforced by none other than Heir Miscavige… on down and across the entire field of Permanent Auditors.

Mario Robles and Holly Robles  They came up to the Mission early ‘80’s as tech and ethics terminals.  Mario audited my HRD.  I’ve lost track of these terminals. Last I knew, circa 2002, Holly was in Las Vegas working with OSA and they were separated.

Rey Robles (brother to Mario).   Ray was also at the Anchorage Mission for a while, maybe a year or two.  He is now auditing in the Freezone, apparently has been since 1990 according to internet news.  His stories are easily found on the internet but we haven’t been in comm since Anchorage.

Lynn McDaniels.  My 2D in the early 80’s.  Mostly I remember she wrote a lot of KR’s on me.  Last time I saw her she was OSA, late 90’s.

Bill Pinton, Clear, Grad V, came up from Seattle to replace the Robles’ as our auditor.  After his contract Bill and his new wife moved back to Seattle, circa 89/90.  Bill and I smoked a lot of ciggies together and talked cars and conspiracy theories.  I lost track of them too but I understand they had at least one child and Bill died of cancer sometime in the 90’s – I only found out years later.

Anyways, 1983’ish, the Mission was not without trouble by now.  Forrest had left to do his training, and not long after we held a BOI on the E.D. due to some flagrant out finance he had swindled from the field, lied about and had made some unauthorized transfers of Mission and Public monies to get his NOTS clean up.  Many were pissed.  I remember Jerry Racheff was hoodwinked out of thousands.  During the BOI Nancy Parodi questioned whether he was even a thetan !!  Times were tough in Alaska, lol !

In 84’ we were graced by Jeanne Bogvad, CO LAD.  She had come to Anchorage to promote the newly released FPRD.  Just what I needed I was sold, after all I had been stalled after GDII for a few months by then!  I flew to LA that summer.

This was the first time my eligibility for auditing came into any serious question.  Jeanne told the DofP to have me sign a waiver and audit him, he was an upstat staff member!  Her words.  And that was the end of any further discussion about it.

And for the first time went exterior as a thetan… life changing floating TA.

It was also around this time the ED had returned from FLAG for a “clean up of Mayo NOTS”, and just that suddenly I couldn’t stand to be around the guy.  Couldn’t stand it. So enturbulating I routed off staff on an LOA a short time later.

Nearing the end of this year off I negotiated a new lease for a sweet building on a highly trafficked intersection mid-town Anchorage to get us out of this “body shop” – the Mission had moved above an auto body shop south of town (long story) in the middle of nowhere.  This was prime location, large (to us) but it was empty, no partitions, no offices.

I caught some heavy flack for it, but I didn’t care nor agree, hell I was going to be regging the money anyway and without any other consideration about it, we had to move away from this body shop!

A week or two after I organized an evening event in the new space.  Almost all the field showed up, also excited you could tell.  We hadn’t moved yet and so they sat on the floor as I spoke, but they were into it.

Realize we’re not talking a 50,000sf behemoth Morgue, we were moving from about 1200sf above an auto body shop to about 4,500sf, consisting of two large empty rooms.  To us it was huge, to me, it was ideal  – pun intended.

Basically I just gave everyone a locational tour, and passed around some mocked up floor plans I had drawn up with pencil and told them we needed their help.  It didn’t have to be nothing fancy, but that we needed offices, partitions built, we need a course room and we needed auditing rooms…  Moments later, one of our field, a builder/developer, offered to supply all the materials and labor!  Just like that we had it going on!  Others donated furniture, more desks, tables, their time. I built bookshelves and mocked up the reception area.  True to his word Dave Pennington, Clear, L’s, had the materials delivered and his crews arrived and built the offices and we had an Ideal Mission in a matter of a few weeks.  I would love to hear how Dave is if anyone knows.  Last I knew he had left the Church early-90’s after finishing his L’s.

And BOOM perhaps for the first time, we did, far better than ever before (or since).  Before I finished my contract and finally left in the summer of ‘88 to FLAG to train, and straighten out my cycle at CCLA we went from 5-6 staff up to 26 staff and I continued regging for both Div6 and Div2 and ran the promo lines and the Div6 staff and events and recruited more staff and our Tech was delivering training and auditing and sending public on up the lines as we were supposed to, Seattle, to LA, FLAG, etc.  The Mission I left summer of 88’ was doing very well and held a lot of promise for Anchorage.

As to filling in the rest of the story, I went off to CCLA in Sep 87’, paid through NED.

The first day in the HGC at CCLA I was declared an illegal PC and told to train, and just that abrupt. That former life degradation I had long since risen above hitting me in the face all over again, smashing.

What could I do?  I couldn’t fight an LRH HCOPL even though I questioned in my own mind even back then who had re-written it.  LRH had been gone for a year and a half and I just couldn’t believe LRH would allow this to happen were he here.

My next course per the CS was Pro TR’s so I decided to do what I was told, I stayed and trained.  I finished all the theory and was ready to start the TR’s and then just as abruptly was informed that I couldn’t do TR’s, determined by the CS because I was mid a major auditing action………… WTF???  !!!  Just like that, in a matter of a few weeks, after 6 years as a dedicated executive staff member, STOPPED on BOTH sides of the Bridge.  Try thinking with that.

Back to Alaska.

I finished my contract in Anchorage, recruited a replacement, packed my car, stuffed some cash in the glove box and drove to FLAG, 6000 miles, solo, summer of 88’.

I was at FLAG less than 2 weeks when Jan Racheff heard I was there and found me and wanted us to drive cross country to Mountain View, CA and be an FSM for her new group- Mtv Mission.  She had just come off the Maiden Voyage OTVIII.  After only a few weeks I wasn’t warming up to the Florida heat anyway… so that’s what we did.

And that’s what I did for the next two years full time, mostly 7 days a weeks, during which my Petition for auditing was denied and again told to train… train on what?  No one seemed to have an answer save a loose conversation I finally had with Joy at Steven’s Creek.  She called bullshit not able to do my TR’s and let me finish my course, then Level 0, Ethics Specialist, another round of ITSE, Exec Status I, Personal Org Board Mini Crs (remember that one?), Reg cramming to end all, etc.  After 2 years full time so called “FSM”, 7 days a week most weeks, although not officially staff, as the Reg for MTV I was told by a Sea Org Mission early 90’ I couldn’t hold a post as I wasn’t legal for staff.  What? I had only 5x’d the Mountain View Mission GI from a previous $200k a year to $1M a year, along with some help from key FSM’s, including one on this blog I’ll let name himself.  That same year MTV became a CLV Org.

Anyway I really said fuck it this time, your loss, and I went back to Anchorage mid 1990 to try and make up for lost time… and to make some sense of it all.

A few weeks after arriving in Anchorage the Mountain View GI had dropped significantly and I was ordered back for a BoI !  lol   It was an easy handle though, my reply was simply, no, I wasn’t coming for a Board of Investigation, but rather would request a Comm Ev at AO to disclose all the facts.  I got a call the next day from Marc Silber, that the BoI had been withdrawn.

Forrest Crane, 1990, also just back to Alaska as a new CLVIII and so we got together to pull in the field and clean up cycles and get the Mission going again.  Again some great successes, and we pulled the Mission out of a financial hole with Ethics and Tech.  After several months I eventually began doing less, couldn’t hold a post and started to live my life instead, and I eventually abandoned the “unauthorized” help flow altogether.  During the rest of the 90’s I just did courses here and there as public.

The Anchorage Mission eventually shrank to 3 or 4 contracted staff, and now 1 today.

I personally felt for Forrest struggling as he did as a CLVIII, and we talked about it many times back then, no income, few or no PC’s, little or no pay after all those years training and promises, and then he couldn’t audit in the field because of GAT requirements.  Wild shit.

In roughly 2003 I was informed by the LA Day Tours Reg, Steve Drabin, that I should send up my petition again  as most were being approved now… so I did.  This time I received a letter from Senior CS Int (??) of an “approved program” that will get me back on the Bridge and that my TE was 50hrs.

What, excited, somewhat, but hopeful again?  Not really… but what the hey, one last attempt.

So I rode my Harley from Eagle River, AK to LA Day late summer of 2004, 3500 miles solo.  I had left a couple years of taxes with my accountant in Anchorage to get caught up while I was gone (already paid several thousand in, just not filed yet).  First I routed onto the PTS/SP course  (more Ethics… but of course…) then days later finally got onto my testing and DofP and was excited to finally get back in the chair, only to be told later I couldn’t do my program until my taxes were handled.  Are you kidding me??? I’m the one dealing with this, and I am dealing with it, not you!

Nope, no enchilada, no sause.

A couple days later I was pulled out of the course room by the LAOrg EO and told I couldn’t be on course either, and apparently according to the DSA, I couldn’t even be on the premises!!  LOL

Fuck all, back to Alaska.

April of 2006 I switched Orgs, this time to SFO, my old buddy from Alaska, Jerry Racheff.  My taxes handled now (imagine that) and I started my “Senior CS Int official program”.  50hrs SF Org… So then what?  20+ years off the cans I was given a CLIV intern half my age, himself just off a drug rehab program at Narconon – my luck, and my “program” turned out nothing more than what we all know now as designer Sec Checks.

– are you fricken kidding me ?

After 20 years of no auditing, no repair lists, no proper indications, no Bridge progress now I’m running sec checks on the most ridiculous squirrel questions imaginable – based around those few months of my life in 1973.  Grinding as all hell.  Then came the question; “Have you ever lied to the Senior CS Int?”  “Uh… … no.”  But apparently no 3 swing FN (little did I know at the time), so hours and hours and hours around that.  Finally, I came up with an answer, fact that I had not disclosed every single detail of my life during those few months 30+ years ago, minute by minute by moment, during hours and days I was forced to look 33 years earlier I didn’t do while writing up my petition.  Now, suddenly, I had lied to the Senior CS Int. … which of course gets written up… bad I figure, but… it gets even better.

Then finally came the KR’s and Ethics review, then conditions, then false data stripping on the 2D (of course)… but then, comes the heavy near daily (several times a week at my work) ongoing threat of a Type B declare because of an unhandled traffic incident 7 years earlier.  Are you kidding me?  Nope, Type B golden rod sitting on his desk…

I was ordered under threat of declare to immediately fly back to Washington State and turn myself in! The EO said he was protecting the Church, and that if it was him, he’d fly straight up there and turn himself in right now.  I asked, “What, you think the Seattle Sheriff is going to show up at the San Francisco Org over an unhandled traffic situation?”  I got no response but a blank stare.

It had finally become embarrassing enough, and so I told the EO not only no, but hell no, that I was entitled to legal representation, and that’s exactly what I did and shortly after which, a few weeks later an old attorney buddy had the case dismissed.  DONE.  Still, in the interim, I got calls nearly every day, threatening to issue a Type B Declare if I didn’t get this handled immediately.  Jerry Racheff made his EO hold off is the only reason it didn’t happen.  I had paid $12,000 for a program that turned just nutty as hell.

A few weeks after it was all handled as I had explained it would be from the beginning, the EO started calling me for new release book sales, events and Ideal Org raffle tickets, again, weekly.   Now I guess we’re supposed to be buddies.

I routed off vowing never to go back.  I could hardly think anyway by then and for the first time in 30 years I didn’t feel I had control over my future.

I did eventually go back onlines at Mountain View and finished a few Basics, although more than burned out by then.  After half dozen courses I looked around one day and realized this is NOT what I want to be doing.  I became finally fed up, looking all this over again and what it was going to take to get up the Bridge.  More and more prerequisites had developed over the years, and it had been a long while since I could no longer simply route onto Level I, much less get any auditing.

I walked away, July 2009.

I had come to the conclusion I really didn’t want to do these books, again in many cases, in the course room, ahead of all else, especially after half my answers were yellow tagged. I understood my answers, even to some of the dumb ass questions!

So I came to terms I wasn’t going to make it up the Bridge this lifetime and haven’t been back.  By mid- 2011, I finally had to tell my wife I wasn’t going back.  No interest, not what I signed up for, sorry not fun anymore…  I had withheld this from her because she is Clear, preps complete and had her OT Levels paid for at Saint Hill.  Surprisingly, she understood!

And then… for both of us, there was Debbie’s letter.  Forrest and I had been in comm for years about much of this, and he pointed us to Marty’s site… the rest as they say, is history.

In this short order of one year I now have the top Standard Tech auditors on the planet willing to audit me, and I can only continue to look forward to many new on source friends for the first time in 30 years.

An old friend once told me – if it weren’t for the Church we’d both be OTVIII by now!

And that brings me to the final point of my lone wolf story, and one that is rarely mentioned within or without Scientology.  The large untold numbers of simply discarded souls declared Illegal PC by the Church of Scientology, and the countless indignations so many are put through in their sincere attempt to find the truth and be helped, to help and finally “allowed” to go up the Bridge.

Perhaps however, it is as Karen #1 told me almost a year ago now, that I was actually lucky to have avoided most of it.

I leave references to yourselves, many have already been quoted herein, and I’m sure you’ve thought of a few of your own.

A year on I’m still coming to terms with this new responsibility.  No organization to shy away from is quite fascinating.  I’ve come to terms with one thing for sure, I have no doubt who my friends are, or may yet be, as well as who are not.

My friends are my family and friends whose love and support is unconditional, vise-versa and those who can know and apply the legacy of LRH, it’s correct application the spiritual technology left for us to discover the truth within for ourselves.

Ronn Stacy, “Alaska Ronn”

Independent Scientologist