Monthly Archives: November 2009

Ted Horner arises – hallelujah!

Ted Horner was one of my earliest opinion leaders in the SO.  My first SO job in January 78 was serving on one of the PAC renos missions that he operated. He seemed to be able to keep an even, easy going,  and friendly manner no matter how heavy the pressure got.  Though many can attest I wasn’t so successful, I tried to emulate Ted’s cool. Ted exuded that same calm throughout the wild eighties at Int/Gold.  He seems to have landed in an environment and created a life that meets his pleasant demeanor.  Here’s Ted’s story in his own words:

Ted sailing off Belize

Gosh, this narrative has been over a year in the making.

To start off, I have to credit Jeff Hawkins (Fishdaddy) for being my initial inspiration.  Don’t be fooled by his calm, soft-spoken style.  Hawk, you have the heart of a lion when you published your Counterfeit Dreams, long before most others even ventured to reveal their identities.

Hats off as well to Marty, for being a breath of fresh air among the toxic “natter boards” and for his coming clean.  So what if he attracts a bunch of yapping critics? His biggest asset is his capacity to grant beingness, an ability we can all work on a lot harder.

I hate like hell writing a first-person narrative, it seems so self-serving, but here goes: 

I stumbled onto Scientology in the summer of 1973 in Denver, Colorado, the target of a body-router from the Denver Mission.  Scientology was an attractive subject to a 20 year-old college dropout, looking to find his way in the world. 

Denver Mission was big.  An HQS Course operated in the unfinished basement of a storefront with over 100 enthusiastic students. The supervision was tough and unreasonable.  The 4 – 5 month comprehensive course on the basics of Scientology cost just $100. Academy Levels in those days were only a few hundred bucks.  A few years later, I paid $600 dollars for the Saint Hill Special Briefing Course, joining hundreds of others at ASHO.

Flash forward 35 years and it is obvious that something is very seriously wrong with the institution of Scientology, and not only the high prices.

My connection with organized Scientology ended after 20 years when I successfully managed to blow from the Int Base on July 4th 1993.  It was truly my Independence Day.

While I was a fugitive from OSA and its private investigators, I never really stopped applying the Scientology philosophy and technology.  I did so naturally, in whatever way it might better my life and those in my environment. I still do.

I have to credit those on Marty’s Blog for giving me clarity on the premise that even though the organized church has gone corrupt, this is entirely different from the actual technology and philosophy.  They helped me see that it is okay to practice Scientology, just, please, not the organized brand.

I’ve had plenty of the organized brand of Scientology to last me a lifetime, and maybe a few more.

I started on staff at Narconon when it was a GO social coordination project.  This brought me to LA and eventually the Sea Org, where I initially worked in mission operations setting up the Big Blue Complex. 

I was then recruited “over the rainbow” and was posted as an Assistant Cameraman.  My senior was an abrasive, loudmouth punky teenager, named David Miscavige; at least that’s how I saw him at the time.  I would never be very far from him over the next 15 years.

Doreen Smith Gillham turned over her hat to me as LRH Equipment I/C in 1978 and this evolved into the post of Film & Equipment I/C under the LRH Household Unit. Over the next 7 or 8 years I worked primarily as a photographer and equipment logistics person for LRH.  In those later years, he used photography as a pleasant diversion. It was something he could do when he was cooped up at those confidential locations.

At times, the Old Man would get very enthusiastic about his photography.  It was not unusual for me to receive half a dozen lengthy dispatches in a single traffic run which would send me combing LA and Hollywood on research and purchasing trips.

DM was never very far away.  By the early 80s, he was the final traffic filter from the base to LRH.  My traffic eventually went directly to DM then passed onto LRH.  

I have to say this; DM completely supported and backed up the work of my unit at that time. Previously, when I was forced to send my traffic via CMO Int or the Watch Messengers, there were inevitable slows and arbitrary rejects. He removed them. It was fast flow management and I moved into a high ethics condition and I WAS given protection.

Later, from my limited perspective, DM began to change.  He discovered the power of those infamous public events.  I was there from the beginning as producer and director until I left in 1993. What started out as a way to use television techniques to bring management’s message directly to staffs throughout the world, evolved into a big money propaganda machine. 

Add to that his obsession with Hollywood stardom, and he just ended up buying his own brand of BS and finds he can’t stop himself or the insanity.

At the end he began tearing up my unit, the one he had supported for so many years. It was ironic that it was here that the directives on establishing and protecting production lines was piloted under LRH direction.

People commonly ask, “Why didn’t you do something to stop it?” The changes were very slow, over many years, and more importantly, we were blinded by our own complicity. 

We are all responsible to some degree for DM and what the Church of Scientology had become.  Anyone who says otherwise, either wasn’t there, or hasn’t a shred of responsibility.

After abruptly leaving the Sea Org, I have been blessed to live a life better than perhaps I am entitled to.  I credit much of that to the man and his philosophy and technology, to my many comrades throughout the years, and even to that abrasive, loudmouth punky bastard.

I am not promising to join the ranks of “crusaders” but I will not pass up any reasonable opportunity to help set some things straight.

DM always had a unique capacity to bring out the best and the worst in all of us, so in the later case, if anyone has any complaints with me from those days, please contact me, and I’ll try to make it right for you.

That is also an invitation for any of my old friends, or anyone at all, to contact me directly at
Ted Horner
Belize, Central America

And in addition to all that, he loves dogs.

Grade IV Completion

The abilities I have gained throughout this grade have been absolutely life changing. I have never been so at peace in all my life. The realization that it is ok to be wrong has been amazing. It was like this huge cloud lifted. Everything is so effortless! Everything!

– Mosey

Ok, a final thought on Health Care

by L. Ron Hubbard (6 June 1955):

“A society is sick as it has sick people within it. The way to make it well, however, is not necessarily to work only upon the sick and make them well. If the members of that society were sufficiently well and able themselves, they would never apprehend the slightest difficulty in pulling out of the mud any fallen fellow. Pulling people up and back into the ranks is not a function of an organization, it is a function and responsibility of Man himself. Pulling people back up into health and good fellowship and the game is not dependent upon a group of specialists. It’s dependent on Man.

“And when helping one’s fellows becomes a specialized action to be performed only by the annointed, to be performed only by somebody who wears the right star, badge or sign — Man is dead!  Because the best of Man comes into being when he is willing to aid and assist any of his fellows and is permitted to do so.

“We allow any dog to come around and sympathize with us when we’re hurt, and even in a cave society they let a dog lick the wound to help heal it. But not in this society! And when men are made to feel that they do not have the right to aid and assist their fellows but that Joe or Bill or somebody down the street is the only one who should be permitted to wave a magic wand or rattle a magic healing crystal, somebody had better look at the society real good, because it’s not a well society. Do you see that clearly?

“Now, it does not immediately presuppose that because a person has a right to heal that he is able to heal. That doesn’t immediately follow, does it? But today we are at a level of understanding in Scientology sufficiently good that almost any human being alive could be put into possession of enough of that data to make anyone around him better and happier, including himself. And that is the goal toward which we are trying to win. And we are winning, using some of the artificial supports of the society which already exist. And one of those supports is organization.

“But I would be a very sad man to realize, after years of work, that we had created not a greater freedom in the society but a stronger and more powerful organization in place of existing organizations…”


church vs health care, part II

For those c of s apologists who dismissed my last post by defending Wiseman’s motivations for opposing the health care legislation as being purely to save us from barbaric psychiatric treatments, below is the latest CCHR/c of s campaign material being blast mailed across the internet. I submit it evidences that either the c of s campaign is merely using the psych button to elicit broadside objections from Miscavologists because they are carrying out  DM’s right-wing politics, or they are soliciting broadside objections as a tactic to sink it because they really object to the psych appropriations. Either way you look at it, I believe their tactics are deceitful and unethical.  Other views are welcome.

Sent: Thu, Nov 26, 2009 1:29 pm

Dear ,
As you all have probably figured-out, the vote on Saturday nite was simply a proceedural vote to allow the Obamacare Bill to be DEBATED in the Senate.
The Debate will begin on MONDAY, 30 Nov.  HOPEFULLY the debate will last into NEXT YEAR (2010) when NOTHING BIG will be passed as it’s too close to elections and we might “remember” who voted for it!  But they’re set on passing it THIS YEAR.
HOWEVER, we need to get enough of the Dems to be AGAINST it or various items in it so it can be made into a NOTHING bill.  We need at least 3 or 4 to stop a philibuster.  Hopefully MORE!
It’s really important that we FAX the Senators (it’s far more noticeable with a floor full of faxes) and give them some good reasons to vote AGAINST the Bill.  And make sure they KNOW that you’re ANGRY about what’s happening! Don’t be RUDE, but Let them KNOW.  That makes points with them.  They don’t like angry constituants, especially in an election years!
Give them talking points:
GOVT TAKE OVER of health care (“Public (HA HA) Option” (HA HA)
Our freedoms being taken away
IGNORING the Constitution
Abortion (BIG button to have Feds pay for it),
too much money to pay for it,
PSYCHS (unfortunately this is not a button that I’ve HEARD from THEM, but we can certainly GO FOR IT, as it’s really the KEY for those of us who understand),
forcing those who do NOT WANT insurance to pay anyway,
Illegal Immigrants being “covered” by insurance for FREE,
Write about whatever YOUR button is!!
Note that if the Bill is passed, IT won’t take effect till about 2014, but we’ll start PAYING FOR IT in 2010 or as soon as they can change the tax laws!!
The biggest items for them appear to be Public Option, Fed-covered Abortions, Illegal Immigrant sponsoring, and spending too much money (of course they’re happy to TAX us in advance to pay for it as above as a solution).  Some will vote for ONE of the above but won’t vote if ANOTHER of the items above is included.  We have to get them ALL out and KILL THE BILL ALTOGETHER!!
You have the whole weekend to mock-up your letters and fax them!  DO WELL!!  Save your letters for when the debate is OVER and they’re ready to VOTE on it.  Then we send them AGAIN.
Love, Judy
In a message dated 11/20/2009 4:15:38 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, writes:

Below is a targeted list of U.S. Senators that could determine the
outcome of Saturday’s vote on the Health Care Bill which is LOADED with
psych programs. Even if you have ignored past ‘calls-to-action’, this is
the one you cannot turn your head AWAY from. Its been made very simple!


1) Call TODAY (or fax) the 13 Senators on the list below. Minimally the
first 3!

2) When the receptionist answers all you say is, “I would like to leave
a message for the Senator”. Then say: ” Let the Senator know that I am
opposed to the Health Bill and want the Senator to vote against it.”

3) Pass this email along to all your friends!



Thanks to all the Independents, announced and yet to be announced.  The following from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet sums up for Mosey and I how we feel about you all:

Then said the rich man, Speak to us of Giving.

And he answered:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?

And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?

And what is fear of need but need itself?

Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have — and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.

And there are those who have little and give it all.

These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.

There are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.

And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue; They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.

Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

An Independent Family – T Paine and the James gang

Haydn James with Mike Rinder at Times Square, 2009

Haydn James and I worked together during the darkest years of the early eighties.  We worked directly on All Clear for LRH.  Haydn was probably the most capable and efficient and dedicated staff member I worked with during those years. Accordingly, he was targeted by DM and busted. We never spoke again for twenty-four years. What he continued to accomplish in the Sea Org even under the blacklisting of DM is remarkable and is covered in his writing that follows. Fate would have it that we wound up a stone’s throw from one another in South Texas. We discovered one another and are now once again fighting the good fight shoulder to shoulder.  Haydn’s contribution to the third dynamic de-ptsing program has been integral. Writing as T Paine at for the past several months he has managed to accurately evaluate and clearly communicate how the Mechanisms of Misavige resulted in the hijacking of Scientology. The story of how he and his family remained intact, contributed to Scientology, declared independence and continued to contribute is a must read. It follows below.  We come back.

Haydn back in the day

To refer to myself as T. Paine is not entirely accurate because there is another key element to the persona of T Paine — that of my wife Lucy who contributed a stream of vital information, data and even Intel on David Miscavige and his practices.

Though neither of us had anything like the full picture, we found that between us we had enough to piece things together.

Whereas I began my Scientology staff-life in London org in 1975, Lucy started in one of the huge missions in Sacramento in 1976, witnessing firsthand the carnage as Miscavige laid it to waste. And so went a number of other big, booming missions at that time.

Shortly after my nine years in the Church’s legal department came to an end, around 1985 — when I was thrown out by Miscavige — Lucy was promoted to the CMO. And as I rose through the ranks again as the first CO Pac Base Crew and from there into the Landlord office (buildings), Lucy assumed an executive post at CMO Int and was often in direct earshot of Miscavige and on other lines to observe him as he carried out his campaign to destroy management which culminated in the international Scientology stat crash around June 1990.

And shortly after I had completed the RPF (assigned when I was the Flag Landlord under direct pressure from Miscavige) it was Lucy that had the courage to pull the plug in late 1990 when we were both at Int HQ and Miscavige became too crazy to bear. “We” became pregnant and, according to Miscavige’s strange dictates regarding families in the Sea Org, we had to be banished from the base to some far flung small and failing org as punishment for our “offense”.

At first we were sent to a Scientology church doing moderately well (Washington D.C.). But in a weird twist of fate Miscavige visited D.C. org with Marty Rathbun and Shelly Miscavige within a few days of Lucy and I arriving. Miscavige was furious to find us there and was abusive to Lucy though she was pregnant and he knew it. Clearly Washington D.C. was much too good for the likes of us and we were quickly shipped back to Los Angeles.

In Los Angeles, at upper middle management, we were then given a choice between the two poorest Scientology orgs in the world and after some time we were fired to one of them (Birmingham Org in England), with very little money and absolutely no possessions.

The Sea Org paid us very little in all the years we had served (a few dollars a week) but it did at least provided some form of room and board, even clothing (uniform). We landed in England with nothing, no possessions and no money. I think we were given a little over $1000 between us which is a pittance in the big wide world when you’ve been in the Sea Org for so long that you have no car, no home, no furniture, no household goods and few regular clothes.

The city of Birmingham was in the middle of one of the coldest winters in history when we landed and the state of the local Church of Scientology did nothing to warm us. It had only three demoralized staff, the premises it occupied was the upper floor of a huge warehouse located in the warehouse district of the town, an area devoid of people. It had no phone lines and no heat because it couldn’t pay its bills and the property was so big and costly it couldn’t pay its rent. It had around a quarter of a million dollars in debts and few public. We were supposed to handle it and “boom the org”. It would have been easier to begin from scratch; we were actually starting from way behind the line.

My pregnant wife Lucy, our 8 year old daughter Marika and I lived close to the poverty line. During that severe winter of 1991 we huddled in a top garret room (with little heating) in the small house we moved into, sharing it with the family that lived there. It was so cold indoors that it would be some months before we discovered the refrigerator we had been using was utterly broken and had been for years. But the food had remained perfectly preserved. We later dubbed the place “slug house” because when we came down in the morning there was always silver slug trails criss-crossing the living room carpet it was such a decrepit old place.

The next accommodation we moved into was dubbed “Rat Villa” for reasons that become obvious from the title.

It got so desperate almost a year later that I actually left Birmingham staff on a long leave of absence and started to work for a company owned and run by a Scientologist installing high tech industrial heating systems in Europe — the only time I wasn’t on Scientology staff in what was otherwise a continuous 31 year period. Lucy ran Birmingham Org in the meantime and I sent her money and we began to move away from the poverty line but orders from management for me to resume church staff started to rain down. After four short months I returned to work at the Church of Scientology in Birmingham. I now had a little money in the bank but it would not last long.

Effectively we were subsidizing our own involvement with Scientology and we still had not accumulated any real household goods other than things for the baby that had arrived (Katrina), who’s round, chubby, little smiling face kept us going. But as the father of the family I felt bad that I had dragged Marika to England to live in poverty and that Katrina had been born into it.

But Katrina and her feisty, hilarious older sister (Marika) kept us laughing all the way, our feet rooted firmly on the ground but our spirits raised.

Marika and Katrina - Birmingham days

All in all, those first few years in Birmingham, the condition of the org, the regular legal suits from the landlord due to $100,000 being owed in rent, our lack of money and necessary possessions, the fact we had two children to provide for were the most stressful of my life up to that point. But bit by bit we built the org. We managed to move it to better; smaller premises situated near the center of town (lots of people milling around) which we renovated ourselves and we began to be able to pay the org debts.

Lucy and I both trained in admin tech and I also trained as an auditor and C/S.

Fast forward another ten years of working hard seven days a week for modest wages and its late 2004. We have built the largest and best, most viable church the UK had ever seen. All org debts have been paid, even its future rent was paid for the best part of another decade because we bought out the lease of the previous occupants. There was a million dollars in Birmingham Org accounts. We had between fifty and sixty staff, 11000 square feet of space, smack dab in the center of the bustling town center. We had a jolly and thriving Scientology community (if you take out the IAS regging that has been picking up pace). We had kitchens on the premises with which we fed the staff; few people worked other jobs (moonlighting). We had Flag trained sups, auditors, a Class VI Senior C/S, a cramming officer. We had gone from being the worst org in the UK and probably the world, to the best in the UK and one of the best in the world – we received a regular bulletin called the “worst to best list” of all Scientology organizations around the world which listed all their actual main statistics and we were in the top ten percent on the planet.

I am not trying to say Lucy and I built this org alone, we had some fantastic staff working alongside us in Birmingham; engineers, authors, musicians and other incredibly able and talented people who had given up or put promising careers on hold to help.

And as the years passed we increasingly saw firsthand the “trickle down” effect of Miscavige’s destructive acts, policies and attitudes as they took root in Class V orgs. And sure enough, at the height of our success with Birmingham Miscavige reared his head again and ordered Lucy and I out of the org when he visited the UK for one of his IAS event holiday. I don’t know whether it was my counter intention to IAS regging (the IAS and I, on occasion had had  “words”) or Lucy and my resistance to the so-called Ideal Org strategy which we never implemented, or whether we were putting Miscavige’s pet London Org project in a bad light which we would likely continue to do. Only Miscavige knows the answer. But we were ordered out nevertheless. And many tears were shed by a great many people when the day came for us to leave.

So we finally returned to the fold in 2005 at church management in LA.

While we were doing the Veterans Return Pgm (in which Lucy and I both Method 9 word cleared the entire body of LRH management technology) we also worked part time on the Senior HCO files project, sorting out the international ethics and personnel files. Lucy got to see the international data files too. We were both (quite independently) left with an indelible impression that an enormous number of valuable staff and public had left Scientology or staff, been kicked out or declared in the years we had spent banished to the UK. The number was incredibly large and as a percentage was out of all proportion with staff and public numbers. We didn’t know why at the time, though in fact it was obvious, it was due to Miscavige’s sabotage and perversion of the justice systems.

And it was while we were working on the Senior HCO Files that I learned an interesting fact. I was approached out of the blue one day by an excited young girl who worked in Senior HCO. After confirming my name she told me that she had just completed a compilation all my post stats — she had managed to collect the stats for every post I had ever held in my thirty year staff career. I was impressed. But then she told me that she had checked the stats a number of times, and verified them. She concluded that I had been upstat on every post I had ever held. I was pleased to hear it but at the same time I had an uneasy feeling. If I had been upstat on every post, if I had that kind of record then I should have had ethics protection. Instead I had been royally busted out of Special Unit/OSA by Miscavige in 1985, assigned to the RPF under direct pressure from him in 1988, I had been thrown out of Int along with my wife due to his policy in 1990, and ejected from Washington D.C. by him. Finally I had been kicked out of Birmingham on his direct order in early 2005. Very interesting I thought. What was even more interesting was the fact that he did little of the dirty work himself. It was mostly done at arm’s length or at a distance. Unfortunately for me and my family, the trouble he caused us would not end there.

When we completed our Veterans Return Program, Lucy was posted as the Sea Org Programs Chief (over all the advanced orgs in the world) and I became the Deputy Commanding Officer of the management org (what used to be called the Flag Command Bureau).  And it was a very sad scene we witnessed too. We saw that management was destroyed or utterly negated, from the top down. We finally understood why most of the management units out in the continents did not function. Not one line of the entire LRH management tech Lucy and I had painstakingly word cleared was in use. Miscavige was clearly running the whole show (if you can describe it that way) via his RTC Reps. And it was a disaster.

It was also very clear that Miscavige micro-managed all the advanced orgs and FSO via his RTC Reps and that they were short circuited and stat pushed Advanced Tech Value of Services Delivered which was the RTC stat (very strange) and along with the so called Ideal Org strategy such actions were placing an unbelievable and inordinate strain on the upper OTs, a group Miscavige had effectively commandeered as his own and upon whom he would continue to bear down in a frantic and furious attempt to extricate himself from his self-created mess called International Scientology.

We tried to make the best of it and carry on, but things were coming to a head. Our daughter Katrina (now just 14 years old) became unhappy with life in the Sea Org in LA (it didn’t seem to be anything like my descriptions – and she was right). She broke the news to me early one morning, sitting on a bench by a bus stop on the outskirts of PAC (because of Miscavige’s weird co-mingling rules I wasn’t allowed into PAC to see my daughter, something that contributed to the problem). It was the first time my rose colored glasses began to shatter something I now often thank Katrina for. She told me with all the solemnity and dignity she could muster that she didn’t want to be in the Sea Org but that she didn’t want to pull Lucy or me out because she knew what being in the Sea Org meant to us so she would just go back to England and live there. She was barely 14. I was choked, both incredibly proud of her strength and devastated at the same time — my world fell apart.

Lucy and I proposed a number of sane solutions whereby we could accommodate the handling of Katrina and remain on staff. I even proposed in writing that I take Katrina back to England and become a Flag Rep in an Org while Lucy remained on her post in LA. Quite a sacrifice I thought but the powers that be would have none of it. We had to dump Katrina out into the world and both remain on post in LA – nothing else would be acceptable. In the endless “talks” it would often seem like good sense was going to prevail as we had real comm. cycles with our “handlers”. They seemed to understand. But they would return next day stony faced and zombie like, parroting back Miscavige’s immensely ruthless and unbending, out of valence viciousness. It was a no-go and a stalemate.

The terminals “handling” us began to use Katrina as a pawn in the matter. She came very close to making the decision to stay in the Sea Org for the next four years just for the sake of her parents. She would leave the moment she came of age (18). We couldn’t let her make that sacrifice so I realized that in the interim I would have to get her out of the picture, I would have to place her far away with a relative, out of harm’s way. So I proposed that I take her to Sacramento and I wasn’t surprised that it received immediate approval from the powers that be. I was to leave right away.

Driving the 500 miles north was the saddest journey I have ever undertaken. I had no idea when or if we would see Katrina again. I had very little time so I dropped her off at a relative’s house, paid my respects, gave my daughter a hug and left her, a forlorn figure disappearing in my rear view mirror, standing on the front steps as she waved goodbye as I struggled to drive away — it was hard to see the road in front of me.

I consider myself fairly tough but the whole experience gutted me. And Lucy would later remark how that night, back in LA, was the only time she had ever heard me cry myself to sleep.

The months passed slowly after that and Lucy and I became increasingly desperate. I had looked into the eyes of some Sea Org members that had been made to dump their kids – they were dead inside. And besides, I thought our strength came from aligned dynamics? Very strange indeed that at just about the highest level in Scientology; under Miscavige’s blatant influence, basic Scientology was not being applied.

In the end Lucy and I got fed up with getting the runaround and having terminals intentionally drag the whole thing out so we took off one day. And boy did that get their attention. I called OSA’s security chief from Sacramento 24 hours later. She understood (all of a sudden) that we should have been allowed to handle our scene with Katrina in a “humane” manner. It was all sweetness and light.

So Lucy and I returned to route out of the Sea Org, we had tried every other possible way to solve the problem — it was the only option available to us. The next few months were spent in what I termed “management prison”. My passport was held, our drivers licenses were taken along with our credit cards. We were guarded 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Most of the time was spent in a windowless room in the basement of the management building. But I’ll say little more on that subject because our story was not any more horrific than any of the others you may have heard already.

While in management prison, I really couldn’t figure out why security and OSA went to all the trouble they did and why it took so long, until I realized the whole game was about trying to gag us, tie us down with legal documents and extract every ounce of discreditable data they could should the day arrive in the future when they might need it. Well, that day has arrived.

In late 2006 Lucy and I left the Sea Org after a combined 61 years on staff. For our pains we received freeloader bills totaling $200,000. And before the full truth had dawned on us we paid all our freeloader debts. We managed to lessen the bills but we still paid well in excess of $100,000.00

And I noted with interest that the majority of the people that dealt with Lucy and I regarding Katrina, from Qual staff to three of the four ethics terminals, all left the Sea Org within a short time after us, some almost immediately. I guess when you mess with peoples’ dynamics you reap the whirlwind.

For many months now Katrina, Lucy and I had been flying under the radar in Texas, ever since I had been to see my old friend Marty — what are the odds that, as vast as the USA is, Marty and I would both land within a short car ride of each other?

But the last member of our quartet (Marika) was still actively on lines. In fact she was about to go to Flag. I thought of briefing her on the real scene but thought better of it. I had an idea that Miscavige might just do my job for me. Sure enough a Flag auditor botched it royally, left my daughter in the middle of gross out tech, overrun and an unhandled red tag that they refused to deal with. They thought it more convenient to reject her as a Flag PC, that way they could just forget about it and go on with quickying Grades.

Within a few days Marika flew to Texas to be with her family. She walked in and said: “Why do I not want to go back to Flag? Why do I not want to go to any org?” So we told her. And after we answered all her questions I said: “What do you want to do now?” Quick as a flash her answer was: “Let’s go see Marty!” So we did.

Lucy, Marika and Katrina - three independent women

But rumors began circulating, especially in the UK, that the four of us had been declared because we went and saw “a squirrel” or “joined a squirrel group”. What these OSA idiots are referring to is my family and I visiting my old friend and comrade Marty Rathbun. Apparently Marty is being covertly slandered (they dare not say such things to his face, just whisper things behind his back). Are you serious? I’ve known Marty Rathbun since 1981 and worked directly with him for some years, he is the straightest shooting, most by-the-book standard, diligent, ethical guy I know in or outside Scientology. He is the real deal and the real reason the church survived the heavy years and his auditing skill and application are the real reasons certain celebs are still Scientologists. Many staff and public know this to be the truth.

Miscavige knows it too. Have you noticed how Miscavige dare not even name Marty? Not in the press, not in the ridiculous 80 page “Freedom” Mag, not verbally in OSA’s new tactic of “declare by rumor”. He is never referred to by name

All I can state is that the James family (Lucy, Katrina, Marika and I) are all extremely proud to know Marty Rathbun.

And yes, I am happy to say that we are all together now and that we are an INDEPENDENT FAMILY.

Haydn James

(A.K.A. T Paine)

D.C. Independent – Tom Felts

Tom Felts has been very active as an independent Scientologist for years in the DC area. Tom has contributed a lot of good advice and wisdom to my blog which is very much appreciated. He has also brought his great sense of humor – he does stand up comedy as a hobby. Laughter, being a universally accepted valid therapy, is welcome here. Tom’s brand of wit is refreshing – satrical, but with class.  Tom’s insouciance is refreshing. For those in the greater DC area in need of a terminal to help you navigate your way through shark infest disconnect territory, I can’t think of a better equiped person than Tom. Independents going to the nation’s capital on business or vacation will have their lives enhanced by making his acquaintance. Here is Tom’s statement:

I was a CL V staff member for close to 15 years, and have had many great wins applying LRH tech (both Red on White and Green on White) to myself and others. I have found many answers to many questions through the application of LRH Tech, and really enjoy helping others through the same. There is a lot of “Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt” out there concerning LRH, Scn Tech, the “Church of Scientology” and so on, and if questions can be answered and rationality resumed, then I consider the job done.

I would also love to see some real delivery being done, on whatever level can be achieved. It will depend upon resources at hand as to what we can accomplish, but I am a trained HPCSC and Word Clearer.

I was a fairly new staff member back when David Mayo (what is it with these DM guys, btw?) was declared. There was an SO ED issued at that time that contained a purported excerpt from an LRH advice that said, in part “You cats better start learning to spot SP’s…” I did find it remarkable that someone who had trained with and under LRH would be found at this late date to be an “SP”, but I was still naive in that respect and thought organizational Scn had to do with case gain and betterment, not Stalinesqe purges, so I filed that datum in the back of my mind and went on with my post.

Fast forward a number of years. I had been removed from post by an SO mission with NO justice actions. I took an LOA and requested a Comm Ev. The Comm Ev never happened. I returned from my LOA after 6 months, and was sent to LA for Tech Training. It was revelatory to me in a number of ways. The biggest revelation was a brief face to face meeting with David Miscavige, where we passed each other in the hallway in PAC Base.  I “knew” at that point that I would never be able to peacefully co-exist with that being in that state. The earlier LRH advice flashed in my mind, and I resolved at that point to quietly finish up my contractual obligations and move on, which I did.

The incidents that occurred publicly in the following years only confirmed my earlier observation: 1) The IRS win, which was a huge group win in the US, was used to promote an individual, instead of the group; 2) The confidentiality of the “Upper Level” material was fully breached (a primary purpose of the SO was to protect such data); 3) The death of Lisa McPherson, at the Flag Land Base, no less. Tech was out in a major way, which means that ethics had gone out earlier; 4) The “Golden Age of Tech”. “When people can’t get results from what they think is standard practice, they can be counted upon to squirrel to some degree. The most trouble in the past two years came from orgs where an executive in each could not assimilate straight Scientology.” – KSW 1. Need I say more?; 5) The positioning of DM as ‘source’. This was done both through visuals in different magazines, and his “Basics” evolution. You can no longer buy an LRH book at a Scn Bookstore. Think about that. 6) Confirmation from multiple independent sources of Miscavige’s internal “Terror Regime”. There were early hints of this coming down the management lines with the introduction of “SRA’s” or “Severe Reality Adjustments”. The true extent of the abuse is only now coming to light.

When I left I had attested to Clear. While basically successful in life, I had things going on that I knew needed to be handled. I have since completed Solo I-III, received OT IV, and all 3 L’s outside the RTC regime. I can only say that it has been a life saver in many respects. Late last year I went for a routine medical checkup and was found to have high blood sugar and high blood pressure, as well as being overweight. Through a combination of dietary changes, self-education, addressing of emotional issues (auditing) and some discipline, I have dropped 30 lbs, my blood pressure is normal, and my blood sugar is completely under control. My primary physician wants to make a model patient out of me, as he has never seen these changes in a person before.

But apart from the physical personal changes, there were other dynamics in play. As an early contributor to ESMB just getting an itsa line in to people out there brought forth an amazing amount of information, TA, true data and in some cases healing. Breaking the conspiracy of silence is the way to fight oppression. Once others realize it wasn’t “just them” the train starts rolling. It was only after the Anon scene burst forth that the noise and troll cannons arrived and tried to bury that board. But the stories fed the Anon phenom, both on ESMB and Ex Scn Kids. While I could speculate at length as to what that was *really* all about in the theta universe, just let me say that in the early days of FCDC (where I was on staff) those people would all be on a comm-course eventually if not right away. Perhaps it is the 4th dynamic protesting the “lack of results”?

I was declared shortly after the first Anonymous protest in Feb. of last year. I went to it as sort of “my own Private Switzerland”, (a neutral party to both sides). I was called by the EO a few days later, where we had a very long conversation about LRH tech, wins, incidents that indicated major problems of mutual interest (the death of Stacy Moxon Meyer, for example; Carla Moxon was one of my very first auditors) and my position vis a vis management, which was that DM was an SP, and since I had no avenue to handle that, I had to dis-connect. My declare came out 2 days later. “We have to protect the group” was what I was told.

My upset is that I do want others to have the same wins that I did.  At least the same opportunity to have them.And I don’t see that happening.  And since the group is no longer there to preserve, protect, deliver the tech and verify the results, then I shouldn’t really care. But for some reason I still do. Maybe I will get that handled some day…. Maybe WE can get that handled some day.

Hopefully this isn’t too long, and gives you a better idea of where I am coming from.


C of S launches torpedoes at Health Care legislation

The Church of Scientology’s “social reform” arm CCHR  is out full force executing DM’s far right wing political agenda.  DM is working sub rosa to undermine President Obama’s efforts to pass health care legislation that will take the nation closer to universal coverage. See the proof below in the form of communications of Bruce Wiseman and Michael Duff.

In addition to corroborating my assertion that DM has turned the Church toward support of fascist politics, this campaign warrants two other observations:

a)  The Church’s justification that the bill contains psychiatric funding is specious. I have handled on my lonesome more than one person the Church has bilked for thousands upon thousands of dollars and dumped when they considered them “illegal” for thoughts they harbored or for having seen a Mental Health professional sometime in their pasts. Now, it is fine and dandy for the church of Scientology to be “against” psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy, if and ONLY if it takes responsibility for those who turn to those practices in time of travail. They clearly will not since they have proven they are not even up to handling a person with a SINGLE thought that doesn’t pass muster with them. They are not about to take responsibility for the millions in need of help.  So, here is another present time continuous overt of magnitude the church is committing on a daily basis that is making the world MORE insane and unsafe. The church’s regard for the workability of Scientology and its regard for people in need of help could not go much lower in my estimation.

b) Am I imagining it, or did Tommy Davis swear to the press in response to Paul Haggis’ letter of resignation that the church doesn’t get involved in political issues? Well, I don’t know how more involved it can get in politics than raising donations to fund the sabotage of the President of the United States’ attempt to provide American’s with health care.

Duff and Wiseman are below.

From: Michael Duff <>
Date: November 20, 2009 5:03:16 AM EST
To: “Michael Duff (E-mail)” <>
Subject: Fwd: Update

Hi guys!

Here’s an important update from Bruce Wiseman.  And when Bruce says it’s time to act – it’s time to act!  Please take a minute or two to read below and fax the senators listed.  Call too, but faxing is key.

And CCHR needs about $3500 in donos to get peeps out East to help stop this legislation (I pasted his earlier email below this one if you didn’t see it before) so flow there too if you can.


From: Bruce Wiseman
Sent: Friday, November 20, 2009 1:10 AM
Subject: Update

First, thank you all for the tremendous out flow to both Congress and CCHR Int following yesterday’s email on the Health Care Bill.  It’s really appreciated! (And if you intended to send some bread, but haven’t had a chance yet, please do. 323-467-4242).

Okay, here’s an update and a final run at this vote. (In case you missed yesterday’s email, I have attached it). This is for you hard core Freedom Fighters.

1-   They changed the vote from Friday to Saturday. So we have two days. Most recent media says Saturday around 2PM, but it is not pinned down.
2-   Some of you have responded saying the phone lines were busy and / or message machines full (which is very likely a plus point). But to get your comm across, you can fax, which is MUCH BETTER than email.
3-   After yesterday’s quantity, we are now refining for quality – targeting key Senators.
The key “swing” votes on this are going to be democrats who are fiscally conservative and / or are up for re election in 2010.
These have been kindly listed below by supporter Jim Mayer. Please read his intro comments and ACT. Call or fax.
Yes, it may take a few minutes, but this is one of those times that we have to step up to the plate.

Here is Jim’s communication. He lists 15 Senators. Ideal scene would be comm to all. But if you were going to pick a few, the top three, it would be Blanche Lincoln (#1), Ben Nelson (#2), Mary Landrieu.

Rock and Roll!!

The names listed below are Democrats up for reelection in 2010 or from conservative states.
Send to these people only and send faxes and phone calls to each tomorrow and Saturday.

Senator Evan Bayh (IN)
Chief of Staff: Thomas Sugar (
Washington, DC (202) 224-5623 / (202) 228-1377 fax

Senator Michael Bennet (CO)
Chief of Staff: Jeff Lane (
Washington, DC (202) 224-5852 / (202) 228-5036 fax

Senator Joe Lieberman (CT)
Chief of Staff: Clarine Riddle (
Washington, DC (202) 224-4041 / (202) 224-9750 fax

Senator Bill Nelson (NE)
Chief of Staff: Tim Becker (
Washington, DC (202) 224-6551 / (202) 228-0012 fax

Senator Blanche Lincoln (AR)
Chief of Staff: Elizabeth Burks (
Washington, DC (202) 224-4843 / (202) 228-1371 fax

Senator Mary Landrieu (LA)
Chief of Staff: Jane Campbell (
Washington, DC (202) 224-5824 / (202) 224-9735 fax

Senator Mark Pryor (AR)
Chief of Staff: Bob Russell (
Washington, DC (202) 224-2353 / (202) 228-0908 fax

Senator Mark Warner (VA)
Chief of Staff: Luke Albee (
Washington, DC (202) 224-2023 / (202) 224-6295 fax

Senator Mark Begich (AK)
Chief of Staff: David Ramseur (
Washington, DC (202) 224-3004 / (202) 224-2354 fax

Senator Robert Byrd (WV)
Chief of Staff: Barbara Videnieks (
Washington, DC (202) 224-3954 / (202) 228-0002 fax

Senator Thomas Carper (DE)
Chief of Staff: Jim Reilly (
Washington, DC (202) 224-2441 / (202) 228-2190 fax

Senator Jim Webb (VA)
Chief of Staff: Paul Reagan (
Washington, DC (202) 224-4024 / 202-228-6363 fax

Senator Jon Tester (MT)
Chief of Staff (Deputy): Mary Walsh (
Washington, DC (202) 224-2644

Here’s Bruce’s email from a day or so ago:
I am writing to ask that you do two extremely important things.

1-   Many of you know that there is a Health Care bill rolling through Congress, which contains several Orwellian mental health provisions which CCHR Int has detailed in earlier emails.

The bill has passed the House and is now in the Senate. A crucial vote is scheduled on the Senate’s version on Friday that will determine the course of this legislation. It is a procedural vote, that is a vote “to proceed” -meaning that if 60 Senators vote, ”Yes,” the bill will proceed. But without 60 votes, the bill cannot proceed.

We do not want it to proceed. We don’t want it proceed because it is full of psych programs.

Call your Senators TODAY. Really. Today. Here’s the link to find your Senators.

Click the link. Find your Senators. Call them TODAY (you have two) and tell them to vote NO on the motion to proceed on the health care bill.

This is important. Don’t delay. Do it now.

2-   Call CCHR Int 323-467-4242. Ask for Tulia or Samantha and cough up a little bread – $50, $100, $200, $500 to help us with the $3500  we need to fight this thing. Give us a hand with this.

It’s important.

Thanks very much!


Bruce Wiseman
President CCHR US



Eulogy for Earle Cooley

Earle Cooley, the best friend anyone could ever ask to have, left this world in October of this year. During  many of the hard times we went through together, Earle spoke to me half-jokingly about reaching Valhalla, the mythical Norse after-world where fallen heroes go. Earle used to describe it to me as he envisioned it – a  jovial pub where warriors would smoke, drink and tell war stories. Anybody who ever had the privilege of hearing Earle tell a story knows how enjoyable that could be.

Earle Cooley was a warrior in the most honorable sense of the word. Honorable warriors have big hearts. Earle had a heart the size of a barn.

I hired Earle to work for the Church in 1984.  In addition to being one of America’s most accomplished  trial lawyers, his brand of insouciance was uplifting and infectious. In his gravelly, booming voice he seemed to always be able to sum up a situation with a witty line.  In our very first meeting in Boston, Earle described a fellow opposing us like this, “You’ve got to understand,  the man is no ordinary thief. He’d steal the stove and come back for the smoke.”

Earle lit up any room he entered and he went out of his way to cheer up folks – especially little or powerless ones.  Here is a conversation – as best as I can recall – he had in Portland 1985 with a crestfallen cabbie who drove us cross town one evening.

Cabbie: Say, are you a lawyer?

Earle: Yeah.

Cabbie: I got a real problem, can you help me out?

Earle: Try me.

Cabbie: Some son of a bitch is claiming a right of way through my property and is using my land as a god damn driveway.  I went to a lawyer, and got all sorts of run around.

Earle: I don’t do driveways.

Cabbie: bummer.

Earle: But, I’ll tell you what, if you want to make sure the guy stays off your property, get yourself a Louisville Slugger (baseball bat) and next time he comes through, do what you gotta do.  Then you might be facing an A & B (assault and battery)  rap.  That, I can sink my teeth into.

The cabbie almost ran the car off the road he was laughing so hard. He thanked Earle profusely for making the problem seem so ridiculous and lightening up his evening.

After Earle got the Christofferson case verdict nullified by winning a mistrial motion, he received perhaps the last handwritten despatch ever written by L. Ron Hubbard. In large sweeping script it read simply:

Earle Cooley



Earle always treasured that acknowledgment.

I never met such a stand up guy as Earle Cooley, never. No matter how bad the pressure from above, no matter how vilified by executives, no matter how easy it would have been on numerous heated occasions to blame a staff member for something that went wrong in a case, Earle would never do so.  To the contrary, I saw him defend staff from executives many times and several times I saw him assert a staff member’s error to be his own just in order to prevent the staff member from receiving punishment.

It will likely take several chapters to give my experience with Earle the context and meaning it deserves, and I can’t do that here. But, I want to dispel one misconception that I know exists in the minds of many observers. Earle was hung with several major losses the church suffered in the courts, starting most notably with the Wollersheim trial and verdict of 1986.

Here is what really happened. Earle Cooley did an amazing  job handling the plaintiff’s case in chief. For several weeks he worked around the clock preparing with staff and each day he did a masterful job of cross examination. So much so that at mid trial, when the plaintiff had rested and while the court entertained motions by the defense, Wollersheim and his counsel wanted to settle the case.

No case could be settled without Miscavige’s authorization. At the time, early 1986, Miscavige was consumed with jockeying Broeker out the cat bird’s seat and he was making himself scarce to me as Legal Exec Author Service’s Inc and Earle.  Notwithstanding Earle’s great performance he never let his ego surpass his intelligence. He understood that while a very good record was being made, the jury was lost after having gotten weeks of testimony on Fair Game. Earle negotiated a settlement with Wollersheim’s attorney. The case would be dismissed for $500,000.

Earle, through me, proposed to Miscavige that we accept. Miscavige, without ever meeting or talking with Earle, said that we could settle it only if Wollersheim agreed to put in writing that Scientology is not a fraud.  Earle and I both understood such a statement as part of a 1/2 million dollar settlement would be meaningless. Nonetheless, Earle dutifully carried out the client’s wishes. Sure enough, Wollersheim and his attorney flatly refused. Earle pleaded with me to use my best efforts to convince Miscavige to come off this arbitrary. He told me to make sure that Miscavige knew that Earle, who was scheduled for an angioplasty procedure, would not even be physically able to handle presenting the defense case and closing out the trial. I did my best, but  Miscavige, in his inimitable style, would hear none of it. I’ll save the invective he directed at me and Earle out of respect for the latter.  The rest is history. Without Earle at the helm we got hit for 30 Million dollars.  Earle took the loss on his own shoulders never once attempting to shift the blame. In fact, Earle Cooley won the Wollersheim case in my book.

And the world should know that Earle Cooley in similar fashion won every other legal matter he handled for the church thereafter, even though  the church took heavy public losses. It wasn’t Earle – it was the client, each and every time.  Earle – being the professional he is – just kept serving up pearls before swine.

I’ll share one story that I believe captures Earle’s character. Once in the early nineties I sat at counsel table handling Earle’s files in a critical hearing. We were before Federal Judge Spencer Letts in LA bringing a motion to recuse Judge Ideman in the RTC, CSI vs. Mayo, et al case.  The Mayo case was turning into a train wreck for the church, and I was under orders not to bother coming out of the courthouse without the recusal in hand. Earle knew I was under heavy pressure. Letts started out telling Earle he only had a given amount of time – and it was short and before he could complete his argument, Letts told him to sit down. Earle looked at me and I guess saw the desperation in my eyes, turned back toward the Judge and kept on arguing. The Judge ordered the Federal Marshalls to escort Earle out of the courthouse – one on each arm.  I then stood and kept the argument going before Earle was out the door. I kept it up for several minutes before opposing counsel complained to the judge that I was not a lawyer. I too was escorted out by the Marshalls.

When I was released at the front door I mosied up to Earle who was sitting dejectedly on the courthouse steps. While offering me a smoke, he noticed how disappointed I looked, and said with his huge grin, “Marty, I saw you handling Letts. You could talk a cat out of a herring.”

The cheer up didn’t last long, because the inevitable phone call came demanding the debrief.  I walked away so that Earle wouldn’t have to hear the profanities and denigration spewing out the ear phone. But Earle knew what was happening. When I returned to my seat on the steps beside him, we both looked into the street blankly. Then Earle patted me on the back and said, “don’t worry my friend, we’ll get to Valhalla yet.”

While my stories are necessarily personal to me, realize that Earle performed his herculean tasks out of love for LRH, the technology he created, and humanity as a whole.

To Jeanie, Chris, Eddie and Harry, if there is anything you need, I am at your service, 24/7/365.

Earle, save me a seat at your table in Valhalla. It may take me a while to earn it, but by then I’ll have many stories to share.

Steve “Thoughtful” Hall ferrets out DM’s spy network

Steve Hall (center) and real friends

Steve Hall has apparently really got DM’s goat. The latter has targeted the creator of with repeated infiltration efforts. He has three missionaires who used to be RTC (until DM dismantled the place in late 04) working frenetically to flip “friends” of Steve presumably to build a “dead agent” pack on him.  The irony is precious. All three missionaires doing DM’s bidding were historically disaffected as all hell with DM through the eighties, nineties and at least to mid 2000’s (Marion Pouw, Mike Sutter and Hansuili Stahli).  They were also notably incapable of duplicating and applying fundamental Scientology. Now, to compound the comedy, all the marks they have been flown around the world to handle were  severely disaffected with Scientology (yes, the subject – not the management or DM) when they approached me shortly after I put my webpage up several months ago. Since they seemed to have no use for the subject we fell out of comm. So, DM has only successfully brought back on board people who have no use for Scientology. A coincidence? I think not.

All of DM’s spy v spy  nonsense is all about cutting communication, simple and plain. Let’s take a look at what LRH has to say on the subject of those devoted to cutting communication:

“Why should it punish any variety or state of communication? Because communication is the only way out. To continue an entrapment it is necessary, then, to punish communication or some phase of it — to enforce or inhibit communication. In order to continue a barrier, to continue a trap in existence, you would have to debar communication. So therefore, a universe which operates all too often as a trap resolves  — an escapement from that universe occurs — when communication is expertly and knowingly handled. And when it is not well handled, it’s punished. Now, therefore we get a fixation in this universe.

“Now thereness is simply a part of communication. It is the creation of a station or a terminal from which one communicates. And that is thereness. So thereness and communicatingness are punishable things by those who desire to entrap. And they are good things to those who have some tolerance for and some desire for freedom.

“So we get the make and break of personality, of beings above and below a theoretical line. And above this line a person would find nothing terribly wrong with thereness and he would certainly find nothing wrong with communicating or being communicated to. And above this line he can survive as himself in full knowingness. And below this line we would have an obsession to punish or a feeling that there should be punishment for thereness and communication.”

Thank you Steve for continuing to be there and and for continuing to effectively communicate.